Title:           Thread 28: Stories 76-90
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/bD3r7nCh
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of July 2014 02:06:59 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of July 2014 02:06:59 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>77
"Cheerilee"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~~~~
 
>My, this place is lively.
 
"Oh, this is so much fun! I've had three ponies come up and think I'm actually Daring Do!"
 
>It's starting to get annoying.
 
"Put up with it and I'll leave it on tonight."
 
>You were going to do that anyway.
 
"Guilty!"
 
'Hey! Look who it is! My old instructor!'
 
>I haven't been on sabbatical that long.
 
'Feels like forever, really.'
 
[Hiya 77!]
 
{Hi guy I never met!}
 
"Do you know these guys?"
 
>That one is a guard, his name is... uh...
 
'...
 
>...Uh....
 
'....Actarius.'
 
>RIGHT! That! Totally knew that! And this, obviously, is one of the Changelings I guard. He's... um... heeeee's....
 
[...I'm the one who juggles.]
 
>JUGGLEJACK! Right! Of course! Totally knew that!
 
{...}
 
>...I have no idea who the hell you are.
 
{I'm... uh... nobody.}
 
>Oh... okay then.
 
"Not even going to question it?"
 
>Nope.
 
'Hey, have you seen the Princess? The orange one, Applejack.'
 
"She's the apple one, not the orange one."
 
[But she's known for being orange.]
 
>That's her cousin.
 
{Nuh-uh! Her cousin isn't orange!}
 
"Are so, they're the head of the whole orange clan!"
 
'But her clan aren't orange either!'
 
>This is getting silly. No, we haven't seen her.
 
'Shoot. Thanks anyway.'
 
>Have you been keeping up with your train-
 
'OHMYLOOKATHETIMEGOTTAGO!'
 
[ACK!]
{EEP!}
 
>LAZY SOD!... Nah, he's nice, he's a strong soldier, just cares a bit too much about his appearance.
 
"Oh? He trying to woo some pretty thing?"
 
>Probably. I don't care about his lovelife, though, and I can't imagine anyone else does.
 
"It would be silly."
 
>Oh yeah, totally silly.
 
"...Weird feeling?"
 
>Like the universe itself is laughing at me.
 
"Happens a lot around here."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Dash
"Pinkie"
'Fluttershy'
~~~~~
 
>I'm telling you, I can so outrun that rocket ride!
 
"Dashie no! It's just too powerful!"
 
'Also, if you did you'd do another rainboom which means you might accidentally hit someone with some aftershock.'
 
>Bah, it's just a little rainbow color! What's the harm?
 
"You tye-dyed Rarity for a week that one time."
 
>And I don't hear a regret, do you?
 
'Dash, that's not very nice.'
 
>I am working out my bitterness!
 
"Awww, poor Dashie! So much paperwork?"
 
>SO MUCH PAPERWORK!
 
"Well, I've got just the thing! BEHOLD!"
 
'...So, just so we're clear-'
 
"You go in the balls, then you go through the little chutes!"
 
'Huh.'
 
>AWESOME!
 
"Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts. Technically, Shiny has the patent on this."
 
>What, really?
 
"Beat me to it by... a bunch of months."
 
'What about plausible denyability? Surely you never got to see...'
 
"..."
 
>...Really?
 
"I uh... I rode it a bunch at the Gala."
 
>Pinkie!
 
"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD PATENT IT!"
 
>Well, shoot, you're going to have to ask Twi to get him to license it to you.
 
"She'll have to ask him REALLY nicely."
 
>Maybe make some promises to spend some time with him, alone.
 
"Miiiight have to promise her a favor so she'll let him do something special with her."
 
>But I'm sure when she comes back wobbling in the legs after their grand adventure, this whole mess will be sorted out.
 
"Except for the one they make."
 
>...
 
>"PPPPPFFFFFFHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"
 
'I don't get it.'
 
>"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
 
'...hee hee... I'm totally laughing too. Hehehe...'
 
>"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
 
'...No, I'm lost. Tell me!'
 
>"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"
 
'This is why we never hang out anymore.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Suckerpunch
"41"
'Rekulk'
-Vekir-
 
>...
 
"..."
 
'...'
 
-Meep-
 
>Okay, I get they threw us together because the lines are too long for just two people in a cart. But I was at least hoping this wasn't going to-
 
-Meep-
 
"This ride is seriously not that scary."
 
'A thousand pardons, sister of Zhetri Tuuhl.'
 
-Meepmeepmeepmeepmeep-
 
>What is WRONG with her!?
 
'I speak terrified younger sister, ponyfriend, she is terrified because of the horrible specters she saw.'
 
"But they aren't REAL!"
 
-Meep!-
 
'But we could see them!'
 
>Because that's how the ride works, it's all effects!
 
-MEEP!-
 
'They were dancing!'
 
"It was a projection you little weirdo!"
 
-...meep?-
 
'And the one hiding behind us in the mirror?'
 
>Also. An. Effect.
 
-...meeeeeep...-
 
'She is going to believe you...for now.'
 
"Good...why isn't she letting go of my head?"
 
-Meep.-
 
'She is trying to steal your wig, wait what? No! Bad!'
 
"HEY!"
 
-MEEP!-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>2
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~
 
>THAT WAY! OH OH! NO! THAT WAY! THAT WAAAYYY!
 
"Please stop tugging on Auntie Twilight's hair, Two!... Heee, Auntie Twilight, I still love being able to say that!"
 
>RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!
 
"This is a circle."
 
>Nu uh! It's a square cause yer' straight like a line!
 
"...Got me there."
 
>LOOK OUT!
 
"OOF!"
 
'THOU DAMNED PATRON OF THIS PARK! Does thine eyes not see, are they blind to-AHHHHHHHHH!'
 
"Oh, uh... hey, 29."
 
'AHHHHHHHH!'
 
"H-heh, s-still mad about the tube thing?"
 
'UHDUNWANNAGOBAAAACK!'
 
"...Wasn't that bad."
 
'DUNWAMMAMANA!'
 
"Okay, fine, maybe it was. B-but hey! You were really helpful! Pretty much everything I know about Changelings came from your data. Without you, there's no way I could have made a love harness!"
 
'AHHHHHHHH!'
 
"...Right, I deserve this. I was kind of annoyed by your... 'actions', and I was just really curious about your species. Being able to grab one of you guys and not have Chrysalis breathing down my neck was a once in a lifetime thing. But... yeah, I just made you a science experiment, not a real being. I'm sorry."
 
'YOU SHOULD BE!'
 
>Hey! Don't yell at Auntie Twilight!
 
'Don't tell me what to do!'
 
>I'M TELLING SHINY ON YOU!
 
'GOOD! TELL HIM! What's he going to do, lock me out of his kingdom harder!?'
 
"Wow, are you still not allowed back?"
 
'NO!... Or, at least, I wasn't when I threw a bunch of bombs in Sombra's face.'
 
"..."
 
'He deserved it.'
 
"Well... okay, I'll leave you alone. I am sorry, 29. Really."
 
'YOU SHOULD BE! You are so lucky you're a princess and I'm a second class citizen, or I would so sue you! HRMPH!'
 
With that, he stomped off.
 
>...Auntie Twilight, you okay?
 
"Hm? Oh, yeah. Just... just something else I have to fix, that's all."
 
>Can ya?
 
"If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said no. Let's just say..."
 
It was at that moment that Chrysalis, riding on Mane-iac's back, raced by, stopping briefly to give a little wave before she continued on.
 
"...perspective is everything."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Celestia"
~~~~~
 
>Okay, I have put up with a lot of stuff today, but no. I am drawing the line here.
 
"Why, whatever do you mean?"
 
>Gimme muh corndog.
 
"Oh, you mean this one?"
 
>You give me that deep fried corndog right now or I will end you.
 
"NEVER!"
 
>This is an act of war!
 
"I have a chaos god, you have the bitch queen."
 
>I have the crystal heart!
 
"Yeah, well I have the Ele- wait, shit... I have Twilight!"
 
>...
 
"...Right, shit. Um... I have Applejack!"
 
>I have 18!
 
"I have Spike!"
 
>42 won that round!
 
"I have 77- wait, SHIT!... I have Luna!"
 
>I have Cadence!
 
"..."
 
>...Wait, shit. Uh.... I have Mane-iac?
 
"Pfft."
 
>...Fine, I have the location!
 
"DAMN! Okay, tundra does beat mountainside, I'll give you that."
 
>Just gimme the damn corndog!
 
"Keep talking like that and I'll stick it somewhere naughty before I give it to you."
 
>And thus, the cycle is complete. You've become Chrysalis.
 
"TOO FAR!"
 
>You're right, there's still a chance to pull back! Hand me the corndog, quick! And your life will be saved!
 
"HAH!"
 
>...
 
"...Take it."
 
>There's the Celly I know and love.
 
"Yeah yeah..."
 
>You don't even like Corndogs. You like those cinnamon sticks.
 
"I don't, but I- wow, seriously? You remember that?"
 
>I had to pull them out so you'd stop choking, hard to forget.
 
"Oh yeah!? I bet I can choke down a ton nowadays!"
 
>Don't do it!
 
"DOING IT!"
 
>CELESTIA NO!
 
~~~~~~
 
>...
 
"...*HACK!*... W-worth it."
 
>I'm not giving you CPR next time.
 
"Damn, there goes my way to freak out Chrysalis.'
 
>...
 
"...Okay, maybe she is influencing me a touch."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>42
"Brain"
'Cadence'
~~~~~
 
>Huh... this is actually going swimmingly. Maybe I was simply overworked?
 
"Hiya."
 
>FUCK!
 
"Just wanted to point out you are going to regret that fish taco."
 
>IT'S SO DELICIOUS!
 
"Not my job to judge, just there to provide context."
 
>Is that all you wanted? Please tell me it is.
 
"Sadly, no. I must also point out they are staring."
 
>Gee, could it have something to do with the royal princess of the Empire in a fair?
 
"They're also noticing you."
 
>Of course, I am an intimidating sight, as I am a pitch black, fanged monster. To see me, they know she is guarded by a fierce creature.
 
"They also notice when you act all flighty with her."
 
>...No idea what you mean.
 
"Maybe they think you're on a daaaat-"
 
*CLUNK!*
 
>OW!
 
"You're only hurting yourself."
 
>I AM NOT... I am having a fun time with my FRIEND who I am FRIENDS with because we are very FRIENDLY to each other. Just as I am FRIENDS with her husband, and am not in any way interested in either of them in any deeper sense than FRIENDS, which we are... even if I... I like watching her... s-shaaa-
 
'Hey, 42?'
 
>GAH!? WHAT WHO I WASN'T- A-hem, yes, Cadence?
 
'You really need to stop.'
 
>I'M SORRY!
 
'No no, I don't blame you, but come on. You don't have to stare so hard at me.'
 
>I-I-IT WASN'T LIKE-
 
'Nobody is going to try to attack me! Relaaaaaax! You can hang up the bodyguard thing for one day.'
 
>...O-oh, well, um, yes... it is a very hard thing to turn off. I do it without thinking.
 
'Well, then think about not doing it!'
 
>How do I do that? Not look at you?
 
'If that's what it takes! I know, I'm very alluring, but surely you can manage.'
 
>AHAHAH! Y-YES! SURELY! THAT IS A THING I CAN DO!
 
'Great! OH OH OH! Haunted house ride!'
 
>Are you sure? You tend to get... frightened around those. Perhaps you should wait for Shining Armor.
 
'Naaah, if I get scared, I'll just grab you!'
 
>...Eh-heh... yeeh...
 
'Come on!'
 
>...
 
"...just start stuffing napkins in your nose."
 
>Way ahead of you.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NON-CANON SOOOOO NON-CANON!
>SA
"???"
~~~~
 
"You... want to hire me?"
 
>Yep.
 
"Me."
 
>Right.
 
"So that you can tip the scales in a pissing match."
 
>Right.
 
"No other reason."
 
>None.
 
"...I punted your wife through a castle."
 
>Meh, I'm forgiving.
 
"...Free room, board, reading material and full benefits?"
 
>Even dental!
 
"...When can I start?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Lt. Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
~Various Guards~
#Triage#
 
>Atten-HUT! Men-
 
"Uh...ahem."
 
>-and ladies. We are in the middle of a crisis!
 
"W-we are?"
 
>Yes, it has come to my attention that every single one of the A Team and the Gun Club and The Princesses AND the Elements of Harmony AAAAAND the high royalty of the Crystal Empire are all at Partyland!
 
-Don't forget Suckerpunch!-
 
'Yeah, how'd he get the day off anyway?'
 
>Point being, our problem is there is absolutely nothing here for us to protect!
 
"Is...isn't that good?"
 
>No it is NOT good, Ma'am, with nothing to protect, we are superfluous! Might as well call us the NOTHING Guards because we are NOTHING!
 
'I think the L.T has some self-esteem issues...'
 
>CAN IT! So...is there anything? ANYTHING we can possibly do today?
 
#Uhm...excuse me?#
 
>Yes?
 
#Well...you see...there changelings? They're kind of...well...loose.#
 
>Well I don't see anything wrong about that, ma'am, that enmity is long since passed...is it?
 
~I think it went away around the time both sides agreed that 41 and Suckerpunch should just bone already.~
 
>Aha! See, ma'am? We have nothing to fear from our insectoid allies being out and about.
 
~Hopefully they'll get girlfriends or something.~
 
#But they're having a party...#
 
>Yes?
 
#...and you're not invited...#
 
>Yeeeees?
 
#...and they're gonna try and steal some of the Princesses' cake to eat during it!#
 
~GASP!~
 
"...why did everyone say ga-"
 
>THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! A TRAVESTY! MEN TO YOUR POSTS! WE CANNOT LET THE BUG MENACE ANYWHERE NEAR THEIR MAJESTIES' BELOVED COMFORT FOOD!
 
'-~SIR YES SIR!~-'
 
"I don't understa-whoa!"
 
The assembled guards hurry off to meet the foe, leaving the pale yellow nurse behind. She gives a small smile and walks in the opposite direction. With what was about to happen the castle would be in complete chaos...
 
Just like Roller wanted.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Rarity
"Applejack"
'???'
~~~~~
 
>UUUUUGGGHHH!
 
"Iffin' ya'll do that one more time, Ah'm smackin' ya."
 
>UGH!
 
"Don't tempt me."
 
>How hard is it to find a PURPLE DRAGON!?
 
"Apparently very."
 
>I just want to spend some time with him! Is that too much to ask!?
 
"...Ah' guess not?"
 
'Who is the one you seek, if I may ask? If you give me a name, my skills may be up to the task.'
 
"Well holeee shoot! Hey Zecora! Been forever, gal."
 
>Spike! We're looking for Spike.
 
'Ahhh, the dragon so young with purple skin. A way to locate him I have within.... or, at least, I did once upon a time. It seems I forgot to pack my diving powder, the one made of krill grime.'
 
>Ew.
 
"Oddly specific."
 
'I am sorry, but if you wish I will help you look. Your desire to be with him is as plain as the writing on a book.'
 
>No no, do enjoy yourself. We'll find him.
 
'Very well, but I will leave you with a bit of advice. Perhaps your search is fruitless not of his fault, but your avarice.'
 
>I'm being too greedy by wanting him?
 
'Yes.'
 
"...Weirdly straightforward for you."
 
'Meh.'
 
>Well... fine! What should I do then!?
 
'Instead spend some time with a friend? One who has stuck by you so far, and will till the end. Perhaps by ceasing to look, you will truly find, and cast off the veil that keeps you blind.'
 
>...Huh.
 
'Huh indeed.'
 
Then she moonwalked away.
 
...Nobody knew why.
 
>...Applejack? Want to... go on the spinny cups?
 
"Ya' know what? Sure, that sounds like a lot of fun."
 
>It does, doesn't it!? When's the last time we hung out!?
 
"A'fore ya' even went down ta' get Arana, Ah' reckon."
 
>Then let us make up for lost time, come come!
 
And off they went, obvious to the zebra face-hoofing not a few feet away.
 
'I meant find Twilight and ask for a location spell... damn it, these stupid ponies are dumb as hell.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Suckerpunch
"41"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~~~~
 
>Okay, we're lost.
 
"We are not lost! We are merely on the grand adventure of life without a set direction!"
 
>Was that supposed to be deep?
 
"SHUT U-.... GASP!"
 
>Did you really just-
 
"YOOOOOU!"
 
>Oh, hey! What's up Actarius?
 
'Suckerpunch! What's going on?'
 
"YOOOOOOOUUU!"
 
>That, I guess? That's suddenly going on.
 
[Why is she pointing at ME!?]
 
"You are cavorting with the forbidden one!"
 
{That's me, right?}
 
"YE-Wait, what? Why you?"
 
'So, wait, it was me?'
 
"YES! You're the forbidden one!"
 
'...whyyyy?'
 
"BECAUSE I HAVE SIXTY BITS ON THE MATTER!"
 
'What?'
 
>I don't know either, she just grabbed a bunch of my money and ran off.
 
'Pfft, mares.'
 
"So, wait, backup, why are you the... wait, who the fuck are you!?"
 
{...Noooobody?}
 
"That is not a reasonable answer!"
 
{It worked last time!}
 
"I am a much better warrior than whoever you fooled last time!"
 
{You're better than 77!?}
 
"...Y-... yes. I am. Could totally take him in a fight."
 
>Well, that's not a dodgy look.
 
"Shut it."
 
'Sheesh, this is who you've been hanging out with?'
 
>She's tolerable when you get to know her.
 
[As someone who has lived with her, you are a liar.]
 
"EAT MY FIST!"
 
[ACTY HELP!]
 
'You want to go!?'
 
>Hey! Don't be stepping in on my battlebuddy!
 
'Tell your battlebuddy not to punch my jugglebuddy!'
 
>Battlebuddy, don't punch jugglebuddy.
 
"EAT A DICK!"
 
>Battlebuddy agrees.
 
"...What were we talking about again?"
 
[You were heading that way, but then you realized that this direction was the right one, and told us to get out of your way.]
 
"Oh yeah... MOVE!"
 
'Fine, eesh.'
 
"That's better! Damn straight you move."
 
>See ya' on shift, Actarius.
 
'Have fun with your battlebuddy, Sucker...'
 
{...Nice thinking!}
 
[I can juggle the mind and the body, haha!...They're into each other, right?]
 
'Jugglejack! That is a horrible thing to talk about behind someones back. We should respect their privacy, and not make assumptions'
 
[Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.]
 
'You should be.'
 
*Farther away*
 
>They're fucking, right?
 
"Like. Rabbits."
 
>Glad we're in agreement.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Blueblood
“Guard”
‘???’
______
 
“Hey, Blueblood! Where are you?”
 
>I’m in the- blast it! This will be the death of me, I’m certain of it… At any rate, I’m in the kitchen.
 
Normally, guards took shifts when visiting the confined, but this one had grown particularly interested with Blueblood’s constant uphill struggle towards a better life and freely chose to take extra shifts watching him.
 
But when he entered the kitchen to see the noble stallion struggling valiantly to flip an omelet closed, it took a fair bit of his training not to laugh. He did smirk, however.
 
“Omelet kickin’ that ass?”
 
>It’s proving a worthy adversary to say the least.
 
When he tried to use a triple-flip method, which yielded nothing but the omelet slouching half out the pan and half in, Blueblood just sighed and turned off the burner.
 
>Even with all my recent failings, that bitter aftertaste left on my tongue gets no more bearable.
 
“That’s what HE said.”
 
>…Oh, you filthy-minded-
 
“Here, fresh from the courthouse.”
 
>What is this?
 
The guardspony only rolled his eyes with a patient flair before fishing the note free of the envelope.
 
“Ahem… ‘Dear, Haymaker. We have reviewed your reports and based on substantial behavioral improvements, the twenty-four pardon submitted for one Blueblood has been approved. We’ve enclosed within this letter a day-badge for him to wear that allows him access to Canterlot castle. But regarding past transgressions and taking into account the wellbeing of Princess Applejack, his movement is restricted to the first floor. Any attempts to go higher will be an act punishable by banishment.’ And, well… there ya have it. I got you one free day out of this dump so you can-GRRK!”
 
>Thank you.
 
“F-for a scrawny guy y-you can give one hell of a rib-cracking hug, geez….”
 
>Why…?
 
“Nngh, my back… Why what now?”
 
>Why’d you do that? Why… why’d you do something like that for someone like me?
 
The chair at the table saw Haymaker clamber into it with a relieved face.
 
“Oh, that. Agh… better question is why not? Have you seen yourself these past few weeks? You must not have seen yourself. Compared to the Blueblood who I used to wish would contract a deadly strand of the hantavirus, this Blueblood? This Blueblood before me actually pressing on for a reason other than himself? This is a guy I’d like to have a drink with after he serves his time.”
 
>…The hantavirus. Really?
 
A hoarse laugh escaped Haymaker at Blueblood’s inscrutable face.
 
“Forget about that, what’re you still waiting around here for? Your twenty-four hours started three hours ago, don’t waste it.”
 
A spark of anxiousness touched Blueblood’s eye and he started out the kitchen at a brisk trot, momentarily pausing in the doorway to glance back at the guard.
 
>…Your name is Haymaker?
 
“That it is.”
 
>In correlation to what?
 
“Let’s just say that ponies tend to avoid me in sparring matches. Now get your royal ass out of here already! And don’t forget your badge!”
 
~~~~~
 
He could vividly remember the last time he’d been allowed within these hallowed walls… and the past seemed to love repeating itself because the mood was every bit as dour and woebegone as back then.
 
They weren’t here.
 
None of them.
 
What started out as genuine excitement, the likes of which he hadn’t felt for a very long time, quickly turned into despair when Celestia’s assistant, Raven, informed him that she and the others were at Partyland on vacation for a few days.
 
>A few days… when I only have one….
 
Even Arana was gone from him, and though the hole in his heart throbbed with a painful longing to see the Changeling he’d saved, there was joy to be found knowing that… that she was safe… having fun…
 
>I wonder if she’ll win one of those… one of those, uh… blast, what were they ca- ah! One of those little plushies? Hm, but that’s a ludicrous thought, she’s a talented little monster… of course she will.
 
Not for him, though. Hell, he’d be surprised if she even remembered hi-
 
>UNGH!
 
Something thick and warm had forced itself into his mouth and he screamed, the sound muffled completely.
 
‘Settle down, settle down, I know you're fresh out the joint but it’s only a potato.’
 
>MMPH?
 
‘Well, you looked like you were about to cry and I’ve seen enough tears in my life. Eat that.’
 
>NGH! MMPH MFGH!
 
‘No, really, trust me. Take a loooong, slow bite. You’ll feel better. Potatoes are scientifically proven to increase the body’s dopamine levels.’
 
>…nngh mmpf.
 
‘So what if I am full of shit? Eat.’
 
Hell, why not? This Changeling… wearing the strange metal contraption… obviously didn’t mean him any harm. As his jaw worked over the spud, he saw that in his somber daze, he’d wandered into gun club territory.
 
>You’re… which one are you again?
 
‘You, my sunken-eyed friend, can call me PJ. And you’re the stallion who came up with the smart idea of assassinating the princess, then missed-’
 
>I did not miss.
 
He took another bite, more forceful.
 
>I’d practice that same shot, from that same distance, for over two weeks before attempting it. My aim was perfect. She was pushed out of the way.
 
‘…Soooo like I said, you missed. But that’s good, otherwise you wouldn’t be standing there enjoying that wonderful potato. Now, I have a very dire question for you, Eagle Eye.’
 
>Mmph.
 
‘Currently, I’m under the servitude of Queen Chrysalis, and a long time ago she gave me an order in secret with no expiration date. To protect the castle. So to that end, I’m wondering for what reason are you in said castle?’
 
Blueblood didn’t answer right away. Partly because his mouth was full of spud, and partly because of the way PJ rested a calm hoof over one of the many swords jutting from the contraption on her hips. She did nothing but stare at him and he returned it, swallowing.
 
>A… friend of mine, he got me a day pass to Canterlot castle thanks to good behavior, but only the first floor.
 
‘Ah.’
 
Her hoof moved from the blade and onto a fresh potato, one that she began to nibble on.
 
‘Then that would summarily explain the air of depression about you. You finally get a day to mingle… and everyone’s gone on vacation. No warm greetings, no loving hugs, not even a ‘sorry we missed you’ note. Worst timing ever, am I right?’
 
She was. But he didn’t feel like commenting on it and instead glanced over to a weapons cabinet against the wall. Placed behind a sheet of glass was an assortment of rifles, one of which looked oddly familiar…
 
‘Yeah, it’s yours. We were initially going to melt it down for scrape but you’ve had some modifications done to it, haven’t you?’
 
He nodded, deciding to take a seat rather than make a beeline for it. Whatever dimming instincts he still possessed told him that the laid-back Changeling sitting across from him would’ve hacked his shins off at the first step.
 
>Yes… it’s a very personal item, really.
 
‘I would assume so. Feel free to admire it from afar.’
 
>…I understand.
 
‘I knew that you would. You look like a smart colt, not too smart given how you wound up in your current situation, but smart enough to take that seat there. How much longer do you have as a free pony?’
 
>Pffgh.
 
‘Good. Keep eating.’
 
>Ffffngh mmngh pnnf?
 
‘Why am I still here and not with them? Heh, my ticket’s over there on the bulletin board, all tacked up and pretty. I’m debating whether or not to go.’
 
>Mmmpf?
 
‘For multiple reasons, many concerning my Queen’s rule, but on a more personal level… let’s just say it’s best not to strengthen ties that may have to be severed in the future.’
 
>…
 
‘Don’t think too hard about it. It’s just how I operate. ‘Here today, gone tomorrow’ is one of my favorite mottos. But enough of that, let’s enjoy a little conversation. Sound like a good time-waster? I know I’m no Celestia but there’s nothing better than talking over some tasty potatoes.’
 
Again, she was right, and Blueblood was starting to feel a little better about the whole thing as he watched her grab up a new potato from a bag next to her.
 
‘So…*bite*…gnngh mumph mmnh?’
 
>Mph. Wnng mmmpf…?
 
‘Mmng smmmpf!’
 
>Mmmmm mmmph mmgh hnhnhahaha!
 
‘Pahahaha! Mmpgh heeengh!’
 
Dear Princess Auntie Celestia….
 
Today, I... I remembered what it was like to laugh from the heart.
 
Your recovering nephew, Blueblood.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>56
"Luna"
'???'
~~~
 
>HOLY CRAP, MOONS! THEY'VE GOT DOUBLE ICE CREME SUNDAES!
 
"Curious, why two straws to a single cup? Would that not cause a reduction in sales?"
 
>Maybe it's for poor ponies?
 
"An economic alternative makes sense... very well! We shall show our fiscal responsibility and share!"
 
>Awesome!
 
"Now, which one is yours-"
 
*BLAM!*
 
"BY THE DARKEST PART TWIXT MY MOONS! OW!"
 
'What did I say!? Did I not make my stance clear on the matter!? Am I going to have to pull out a diagram? I have one, you best believe it.'
 
>HIYA NOT-MOM!
 
"DAMNABLE INSECT! What drove you to such an act of treachery!?"
 
'Okay, one, treachery? I don't even like you, no fucking way am I loyal to you. Second, fuck you. Third, he's in fucking gradeschool! What is WRONG with you!?'
 
"What on earth are you-..."
 
'Juuust clicking, isn't it?'
 
>I'm confused still.
 
'That milkshake is for couples, stupid.'
 
"Do not call him stupid!"
 
>Yeah, I mean, a couple is two, right?
 
'You see what you're trying to molest here?'
 
"WHATWHATWHAT!?"
 
>But not-mom, that doesn't make any sense, she's not going after my plot... or is it different for guys? Are you going to go after my head?
 
'Grade school. GRAAAADE SCHOOOOL. He is in the same class as APPLEBLOOM. Is there some confusion? APPLE. BLOOM. Little filly thing.'
 
"WE SHALL END YOU IF YOU SPEAK ANOTHER WORD!"
 
'MenehmememehemnMEH!'
 
"Y-Y-YOOOOOUUUUU-"
 
'Hey, stupid!'
 
>Yeah, not-mom?
 
"DO NOT CALL HIM STUPID!"
 
'I didn't, I was talking to you, not my fault he answered.'
 
"GRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-"
 
*POP!*
 
"SWEETSALTYCHEESEDRIBBLINGFROMTHEANUSOFTHEMOONAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
 
'Awww, your first Apple Family Tradition! I'm so proud to be a part of this.'
 
"ARRRGGGGHHHHH!"
 
'Go ahead, go on a rampage, I doubt you'll get anyone on your side with this one considering my motives. I'm not wrecking anything in a fight with you.'
 
"ARRGHHHHHHHH!'
 
'No pedo.'
 
"ARRRGGHHHHH!"
 
>...You adults are weird.
 
'You don't know the half of it.'
 
"AGHHHHHHHHHH!
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Non-Canon (obviously)
>Pinkie
"Cheese"
~~~
This is the real thing!
 
>Pinkie!
 
"And Cheese Sandwich's!"
 
>"Partyland!"
 
"Wow, this has been a heck of a start to the Partyland arc!"
 
>I'm just glad you're getting some screentime yourself, Cheesy
 
"Aw, don't worry about it! Besides, when they need to get Weird Al for me there's a reason I don't show up much!"
 
>Wha-You get voiced?
 
"All in my contract! It's written on bubblegum, so I might have chewed it up."
 
>Th-This is insane! you get a private trailer with paid catering for every meal, a working shower, and a second trailer for music practice, you get twelve hundred dollars an hour, AND YOU'RE UNIONIZED?!
 
"Yeah. Don't you?"
 
>NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
 
"Huh... Well, that's it for this, folks! See ya next time!"
 
>MY LIFE IS A LIE!
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non-canon
~~~
Applejack sat on the stool with her guitar, the karoeke mic in front of her as she began to strum and sing in a voice could have filled the room empty without the speakers
 
All around, in the world, Equestria and beyond, events were set into motion
 
"Come gather 'round ponies
Wherever you roam
An' admit that tha waters
Around ya'll 'ave grown
An' accept it that soon
Ya'll be drenched to tha bone
If yer time to yall's worth savin'
Then ya better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone
Fer tha times they are a-changin'!"
 
In Stalliongrad, a powerful figure now stood before the thousands, the nation at last unified once more, not by princesses, but by the will of its people
 
The Hive Gazette headline the next day reads 'Red Army Seizes Stalliongrad'
 
"Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with yer pen
An' keep yer eyes wide
The chance won't come again
An' don't speak too soon
Fer tha wheel's still in spin
An' there's no tellin' who that it's namin'
Fer tha loser now will be later ta win
Fer tha times they are a-changin'"
 
As that paper had been published though, AJ10 himself stood amidst the many ponies outside Fawntine Industries unveils their latest breakthroughs in domestic and military technologies
 
In Canterlot, Celestia calls a special International summit on the rise of militarization in Equestria
 
"Come ministers an' mayors
Please heed tha call
Don' stand in tha doorway
Don' block up tha hall
Fer he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside and it is ragin'
It'll soon shake yer windows an' rattle yer walls
Fer tha times they are a-changin'"
 
Far away, in a brighter place, Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich pull a lever and feel the ground beneath them shudder, and from a tower in a fantasy style castle, they watch Partyland ascend into the sky with them on it
 
Children everywhere flood out from the school houses as classes let out for the summer, but they do not go home, instead they while their hours and bits away in the arcades, where weaker, but no less amazing, versions of Twilight Sparkle's Simulators have now been stocked to give them an entertainment experience like no other
 
"Come mothers an' fathers
Throughout the land
And don' criticize
What ya'll can' understand
Yer sons an' yer daughters
Are beyond yer command
Yer old road is rapidly agin'
Please git outta the new one if ya can' lend yer hand
Fer tha times they are a-changin'"
 
A pregnant Glimmer argues with her parents, while outside her Changeling lover sits tense and tries to pretend he is not the cause for this strife
 
And in a hut in the Everfree, 29 stands over a cauldron with Zecora, hesitantly he pours in the alicorn memory potion, and soon, thew alicorn restriction is no more and soon, they would learn first hand what misfortune befell the orphan souls around them
 
"The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin'
And the first one now will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'"
 
Twilight Sparkle, Diamond Tiara, Potatojack, Silver Spoon, 42, 77, and Spike are all gathered before a banner which reads 'The Gun Club '84'', a light flashes, and proof is made that this odd collection of individuals had come together as one
 
But more than that, to Spike, it would be proof, long after many had passed away, that these ponies and changelings had been his family in arms, his comrades, and most of all, his friends
 
In an empty karaoke room, Applejack's guitar strums to a soft fade, and she would soon return to her office to help Celestia with the chaos of an world changing around them
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon preview
 
>Pinkie
~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CoWplXbeUw
 
We've finally made it to Partyland! Cadence talks about staying longer and considers booking a room at the Tenpenny Hotal, will AJ42 make it through this? High Roller seems to be putting his plan into motion while everypony is away. What's he planning? Fluttershy seems to be having trouble with controlling her powers. Will she be okay? Applejack and Rarity finally have time together. Will they eventually run into Spike? Find out next time in thread 29: The Tunnel of Fun!...And of course, get ready for more fan service!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________