Title:           Thread 28: Stories 31-45
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/QVPTnQGz
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of July 2014 01:48:36 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of July 2014 01:48:36 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
"Rarity"
'Twilight'
~~~
"Well... This area is rather... lewd."
 
>Ah'll say... Sure 're a lot more pictures o' MAH butt though-
 
"oh, that means nothing! Look! I have a statue dedicated to me here!"
 
'Right, so we're in Spike's Lust. We're all going to need to be extra careful, as a Dragon, Spike';s affections can aggressively target anything and who knows what form it- WHAT THE HELL, YOU TWO?!'
 
Turns to find Applejack and Rarity suspended by Tentacle Monster!Spike
 
"Oh, no! They've caught us, darling!"
 
>Ye-yeah! Too late fer us!
 
"We will take this one for Equestria, go on without us! We will be full- Fine!"
 
'...'
 
Twilight blasts the crap out of the Lust Aspects
 
>Awww...
 
"Twilight, Darling, if that has ANY effect on Spike's sex drive later, I want you to know it will be all-"
 
'My fault, yeah. I accept the charges. Now let's PLEASE keep moving before the porno music starts up.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>29
"Trixie"
~~~~
 
>...
 
"...What?"
 
>...Ughhhh...
 
"WHAT!? Speak to Trixie, minion, or she shall smite you with her amazing magic!"
 
>...You want me to carry your bag.
 
"Trixie feels it is a reasonable request!'
 
>Your bag, which is full of my towels, my body washes, my food and my makeup.
 
"How do you know that makeup is yours?"
 
>Because it does not look like it was purchased at a general store.
 
"... I swear, I HEAR them."
 
>Probably. But my bigger point, you want me to carry your bag, which is exclusively my stuff.
 
"Yes!"
 
>...
 
"...Well, I mean, you'd be doing it anyway, wouldn't you? If it is your stuff?"
 
>..........Huh..........
 
"THE WISE AND LOGICAL TRIXIE HAS WON AGAIN!"
 
>By making me carry my own bag full of my own stuff?
 
"DO NOT TAKE THIS FROM TRIXIE!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
>Annelida
"Cicadidae"
'Lunactias'
[Vespillo]
{Saturnia}
~~~~~~
 
>So, my sisters, we gather again to learn of our exploits.
 
"Indeed, but your shrill voice is hurting even my ears and that is saying something. Please, let us skip the formalities and just compare love stores, shall we?"
 
'Hah! As if your pitiful stores could ever match my radiance.'
 
[Your foul misuse of that word is only matched by your unspeakably disgusting glow. It hurts my eyes to even look upon it.]
 
{Says the one who clings so tightly to her child. Tell me, are you so aware of your own ineptitude that you are quick to cast off your own life so recklessly?}
 
[Bah! At least I can manage an heir worthy of my place, unlike you.]
 
'Such pettiness is beneath me. COMPARE!'
 
"...Hmm, yet again Annelida is at the head."
 
'Low standards will do that to you. I saw you take it from a buffalo the other day.'
 
>Your jealousy is showing through. Well with that out of the way, and the matter of who is traveling to what portion of Equestria put to rest... did anyone else see Chitania yesterday?
 
'Did I!? UNF!'
 
"Watching her pound Titania into the ground was just, MMMMHM!"
 
[Just wanted to stick my plot in the air and call out "Got something else for you to pound right here!"]
 
'Anybody manage to get with her yet?'
 
>No! And I offer all the time, it's SO WEIRD!
 
"Right? Who passes up free sex?"
 
{EWWW! You guys seriously want to sleep with CHITANIA!? What is wrong with you all!?}
 
'...Did this pleb just roll up in our hood and talk like that?'
 
"You came to the wrong neighborhood, fucker."
 
>We will cut you like a fucking trout!
 
{...EEP!}
 
[YEAH! YOU BETTER RUN!]
 
>So, back on subject, UNF?
 
"'[UNF!]'"
 
>Unfs have it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Twilight
"Rainbow Dash"
'Cheerlie'
~~~
"Alright, Twilight, i'm ready for Partyland!"
 
Rainbow Dash is wearing her Daring Do hat
 
>I see you're excited about Daring Do and the Temple of the Forboding Eye, huh?
 
Twilight is wearing a Daring Do hat and shirt
 
"You know it!"
 
Dash and Twilight hug
 
'Well, if you ask me, you two both look VERY under prepared for the full Daring Do experience.'
 
Cheerilee comes in with her own Daring Do hat, shirt, has and styled dyed her coat and mane, and is wearing prop wings
 
>"... Holy crap."
 
'This old thing's a bit tighter than I remember and I promised myself I'd retire but... For this, I'll return to the cosplay scene for one more day.'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC ADDITION
 
>They're all plotting against me! Look at them all huddled together and whispering! THEY'RE PLOTTING MY DOOM!
 
"mmmmmMMM! Mama got that shake!"
 
'She works it hard and she keeps it TONED!'
 
>MY DEMISE IS NEAR!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon scenario where Tirek is a threat
 
>Celestia
"Twilight"
'Applejack'
~~~~
 
>We're going to give you Cadence's, Applejack's, Rarity's, Luna's, and my own alicorn powers for safe keeping.
 
"As the element of magic, you can count on me to shoulder this responsibility."
 
>Then let's begin.
 
They all gather around Twilight and all the alicorns transfer their power into a ball over Twilight's head. It then rushes into twilight in a blinding light. Applejack recovers and finds a smouldering crater where Twilight stood.
 
'She blew up!'
 
Cue End Credits
(My little Pony~~~)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
" Arana "
~~~~~
 
*thup*
 
>Sigh.
 
*thup*
 
>Sigh.
 
*thup*
 
>Sigh.
 
....
 
*thup*
 
Shaking off the pile of socks on her head, Applejack reluctantly looked up.
 
>Are ya' tryin' ta' tell me somethin'?
 
"NOPE!"
 
>...
 
*thup*
 
>Ya' can't go.
 
"BUH WHY NOOOOOOTTT!?"
 
>We talked about this, it's cause ya' scare ponies and ya' ain't been out enough fer' anyone ta' get used ta' you.
 
"I'm not that scary!"
 
>Yer' spider legs are kinda freaky.
 
"Is that the only problem?"
 
>...Well, yeah, Ah' s'pose, changeings ain't loved, but they ain't exactly-
 
*FWOOSH!*
 
>...
"..."
 
>...Oh yeah.
 
"Can I go now!?"
 
>Ah... guess?
 
"YAAAAAYYYY! I WILL PACK ALL OF THE BOOTIES!"
 
>You do that... huh, well, it'll be fun ta' see Chrysalis's reaction if nothin' else.
 
"ALL OF THE BOOTIES!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
-{['"Random Changeling"]}-
~Jugglejack~
~~~
 
"What do you mean, we aren't going!?"
 
'Just like I said, we have to stay here.'
 
"But... That's not fair! We're so important to their lives, how can they just leave us be!?"
 
[Right? We're such vital characters!]
 
{How are they going to get by without us!?}
 
-It'll probably be pretty boring.-
 
[For sure.]
 
"Dullsville."
 
'Laaame.'
 
{I don't even want to go now.}
 
"Yeah, it'll be so boring."
 
-Won't even have anything to do.-
 
[It's gonna totally... suck...]
 
'...Jugglejack?'
 
~GAH!... Hiiiii guyyyyys! What, ah, what's up with you all? You guys doing good? You look like you're doing good. Too good, for me. I'm not doing that good.~
 
"...Okay, problem, you are trying to hide that thing in your hoof."
 
~W-whaaaaat? Nooooo. What makes you think that?~
 
-{['"..."']}-
 
~...FUCKING HOLES!~
 
-Are you going on a date?-
 
~NO! It is a fun time between me and NOT my coltfriend! I am going to learn how to juggle better, and he is going to get the special bubblegum flavored shampoo because it smells so nice when I...~
 
-{['"..."']}-
 
~...What do you guys care!? You can go if you want, nobody is stopping you! NOT MY FAULT I HAVE SOMEONE WHO HUGS ME! NEH!~
 
*STOMPSTOMPSTOMP!*
 
"...He's right."
 
'Not really, it IS his fault he has someone who hugs him, that was caused by action.'
 
"No no, I mean about the other thing. Both 42 and 77 are gone, which means nobody is watching us... which means..."
 
'...Which means...'
 
-{['"...WE CAN THROW A PARTY IN HEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEE!"']}-
 
-ARRIBA!-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon
>Cheerlie
"77"
'Chrysalis'
~~~
"Daring Do?! I thought you were a fictional character, or... something."
 
>Wow, 77, you don't recognize me?
 
"Cheerilee?! I- I'm sorry, I didn- It was just so well mad-"
 
>Hahaha! Relax, dear. I take it as a compliment that you honestly thought I was the real thing. I used to do this dress up stuff all the time.
 
"Oh... Wow, you could make for a wonderful changeling."
 
>Hmm... I'll be back.
 
Later!
 
"Good day, your majesty."
 
'77, I've been reviewing your performances, as well as the situation with the hive.'
 
"I trust you find everything in order."
 
'Not exactly, our population is still dangerously low.'
 
"... Your majesty?"
 
Chrysalis gets on her back and spreads her legs in front of 77
 
"@#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
'Come... Do your duty and serve your queen...'
 
"I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS AT ALL!"
 
>Bwahahahaha!
 
The 'Chrysalis' takes off her face revealing Cheerilee
 
>The look on your face! Oh, Celestia, I'm gonna wet myself!
 
"T-That wasn't funny, dear! Not at all!"
 
>Well, you said I would make a great changeling, so why should I be the next bext changeling to you yourself? Heheh, I'm going to change back into my Daring Do costume.
 
Cheerilee leaves
 
"... Halt, erection."
 
-unable to desist, good sir.-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Rekulk
"Vekir"
'Grehm'
-High Roller-
 
>You!
 
-Who me?-
 
'Yes you!'
 
-Couldn't be.-
 
"Then who?"
 
-Heh, wow, I didn't know you guys knew that one.-
 
"What?"
 
>No time for word games, ponyfriend!
 
-I know, right? I'm on my way to win a bet.-
 
"Wait, do not go!"
 
'Assistance required.'
 
-Okay, make it quick.-
 
"WHERE ARE THE PONIES!"
 
-Wow. Loud.-
 
>Yes, we need to know where the pony friends are! We have suits for to speak and to trade! How can we do such things if there are no ponies around to do them with?
 
-Yeah, that's a real bummer.-
 
"So tell us your knowledge, ponyfriend! Wherefore do they all go?"
 
-Okay, my armored amigo, just please knock it off with the shouting, jeez. The ponies you're after are all heading on their to Partyland, y'know? It's got all the gooood buzz going and they say it's worth it, y'know?-
 
>Partyland?
 
"What is this...Party...land?"
 
-An amusement park. Y'know, Rollercoasters, Water Slides, Merry-Go-Rounds?-
 
>No, we don't.
 
"Sliding on water?"
 
-I'm just giving you the deets, y'know? You want ponies? It's got ponies. Trade to your heart's content.-
 
>I see...VERY WELL! We shall go to this land of parties and we shall trade with the ponies that inhabit it! Hurrah!
 
"HURRAH!"
 
-GAH! LOUD!-
 
'Hurrah.'
 
-Okay, with that settled, I gotta spend the day with a bug in the dungeon.-
 
>A bug in the dungeon?
 
"A brother of Zhetri Tuuhl?"
 
>I wonder what one such as he could have done to be shunned to such a place.
 
'Probably misunderstanding.'
 
>Yes, let us not worry about it, for there are ponies to trade with! Hurrah!
 
"HURR-"
 
-WAIT!-
 
Roller puts in some ear plugs.
 
-Continue.-
 
"-RRAH!"
 
'Hurrah.'
 
The Morlocks hurry off. Roller smiles.
 
-And the complications fall away like dominoes. Fausty baby, are you watching over me? I think you are, you sexy bi-. Ow! ...where'd this soap come from!?-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Totally NC
 
It started out as just a spark. Nothing more, nothing less, just a random burst in the center of Canterlot Garden.
 
Then it happened again, much louder this time, like a crack of lightning.
 
A third and final spark brought forth a blinding flash that reduced the nearby shrubbery to piles of smoldering ash as a figure fell to the ground.
 
This figure was dressed in a battle-worn black latex suit. At one time, they’d had two wings but now only had one, the other a bandaged nub oozing fresh blood. An eyepatch covered their left eye and what looked like a pencil-thin crack ran from the tip of their horn down to the base.
 
An alicorn….
 
She was motionless on her side, able to see but unable to move. It would be a moment before her nerves came back online.
 
For six minutes she laid there, eyes glued intensely, tirelessly, on the castle less than four yards away. It gave her time to think. How could she have not seen that the first time? It was right THERE. And she would bet bits to apples that her past self was going to skip right over it….
 
“Not if I get it back in enough time,” she vowed, voice gravelly, yet the fact that she was able to work her jaw meant the cool down process was coming along.
 
By the time she was able to climb to her hooves, after failing and collapsing thrice, four hours had passed and the sound of labored hooffalls over the grass met her ears.
 
The old groundspony had just turned around the hedge, muttering something about ‘mischievous clones’ when he spotted the wounded alicorn.
 
All the breath rushed out of him in a single gasp, “Y-you’re-”
 
She only uttered the word, “Sleep”, and the wizened stallion fell out on his side, a light series of snores escaping his muzzle. As drained as she was, the spell would only keep him for a few hours. “That’s all the time I’ll need,” she muttered, trudging towards the castle in a determined limp.
 
It’d been so long since Canterlot Castle had been this way, resembled its old glory and stature, that she was momentarily thrown off her axis, unsure of which way to go. She opted for the left, up some stairs, clinging to the walls like a shadow, her gait strengthening with every passing second that feeling returned.
 
Doors and rooms passed by, many bringing back fond memories but ultimately not a single one was what she sought. “If I was trying to fix all of Equestria one legislature at a time… where would I b-”
 
“Twilight?”
 
She froze like a deer in the headlights. That voice… fuck.
 
“Twilight, what’re you doing dressed like th- YOUR WING! WHAT IN GOD’S NAME-”
 
She leapt, not giving the stunned 42 time to finish her question before throwing a flurry of punches that the warrior Changeling dodged and parried with very little effort.
 
“Wait! Wait, stop! What’s happened, are you hurt? Your eye!” 42 exclaimed, her skill so pronounced that she was able to scope out her wounds while still fending off her attacks. “Stop this! Tell me what’s wrong!”
 
It was a little disappointing to know that after all her training, she still couldn’t beat this Changeling. Made sense. This was when 42 was nearing her prime, stepping up into the legend she would become in the distant future.
 
“What’s wrong is,” and she stepped forward, knowing 42 wouldn’t strike her back as she put her lips next to the Changeling’s ear, “that the thought of Cadance in a frilled, pink thong and bashfully staring over her shoulder is quite lewd.”
 
That did it. 42’s face flashed through a myriad of expressions before her nose erupted in a spray of blood and her eyes rolled. A moment later, that ‘legend’ was on her back, twitching, nearly foaming.
 
“I’d almost forgotten you were going through ‘that’ phase back then,” she mused, looking up and down the hall. There was no sign of further intruders so she bent down, using her able wing to grasp 42’s leg before dragging the unconscious lump into a nearby broom closet. “That was a tad underhanded, I know, but the future’s at stake. Forgive me.”
 
Slam.
 
Another pair of stairs came into view and as she neared them, a familiar sensation trickled down her spine. It was up there. Yeah, her destination was just one more floor up.
 
Now. If she could avoid the bone knife corkscrewing towards a fatal point in her neck, everything would be fine.
 
“NNGH!” A hiss of pain escaped her lips as the projectile whizzed past, catching far less skin than it would have if she hadn’t dove away from the stairs. “Of all the ones I wanted most to avoid… I should’ve known better,” she half sighed, half laughed.
 
“That looks like a mighty fine brand of eyepatch you’re wearing.” 77’s tone was light, conversational even as he approached the wounded alicorn, her woebegone image not even worth a whit of his concern. “I’d ask where you acquired it but in the next few seconds, I’m afraid you won’t be functioning on a vocal level.”
 
His gaze was passive yet dreadfully centered, focused and seeing nothing but her. A tornado could have blown through and he wouldn’t have blinked, this she knew. He was just that disciplined and experienced, meaning there was only one way his life would end.
 
Had ended, rather.
 
Fighting was out of the question. As was running. Not only did he top her in combat ability but in her current state, running virtually amounted to standing still. “Hn.” What the hell, he was a quite possibly the most reasonable of all Chrysalis’s underlings, maybe talking might…? “So. You plan on killing one of your friends, eh?”
 
Those words might as well have gone unheard. His gait didn’t stutter. “You bare a shocking resemblance to a very dear friend of mine, yes. But there are some noticeable differences. You’re missing a wing, your horn seems to be ruptured, to the best of my knowledge my friend still has both her eyes, and probably the most obvious… the real Twilight Sparkle is walking down the steps this very instant.”
 
She looked.
 
The stairs were empty.
 
“Taking your eyes off the enemy, a fools mistake,” was all she heard before something blunt slammed into her exposed cheek and she stumbled sideways. “The real Twilight would not have fallen for so cheap a trick.”
 
“Haaa… that’s pro’ly ‘cause I didn’t think the real 77 would stoop to pulling so cheap a trick,” she responded thickly, half her head throbbing.
 
That rebuttal gained no verbal response although she did notice the extra force he used to snatch his bone knife free of the wall. That pupil-less eye once again zeroed in on her.
 
“Next one won’t miss,” he promised.
 
“Yeah, the second one didn’t miss you either.”
 
For the first time, 77 paused, the minimalist amount of intrigue shining through on his stoic face. “And that’s supposed to mean…? You’ve gained one extra minute. Use it wisely.”
 
One minute. Thirteen seconds more than she’d need. “I know about your troubles, 77—oh yes I do so you can save me the ‘blank’ face like my words don’t matter,” she stated, feeling that nub of a wing begin to tingle with a current of magic. “I know about the dream searching, about the doubt, wondering whether you deserved a happy ending… thoughts of a deathbed surrounded by little ones to succeed you.”
 
Sometimes silence spoke more than words ever could, and right about now, 77’s silence told of his bafflement, of his fear that this… intruder knew bits about him he’d only shared with Luna and his lover.
 
“How-”
 
“Because many years from now, in a very bleak future, you are going to be faced with a terrible choice.” The current of magical energy that naturally flowed the castle… she hadn’t felt it for a very long time and as it seeped into her, her voice strengthened. “A friend you cannot fight bears down on you with only the options of staying or fleeing. You will choose to stay, and in doing so you will protect the one you love most right now. You will stand through the first hit, but you won’t stand through the second….”
 
She could see the veteran Changeling struggling to put two and two together inside a mind that she never wanted to get a peek into. The moment he did, the moment his eye widened with awareness, her wounded wing regrew itself in a burst of purple feathers. A quick flap and she was airborne, narrowly avoiding the bone knife sent whizzing her way.
 
An enraged growl followed her as she flew up the stairs, bypassing a number of shocked ponies as she streaked past. Left, right, another right, then left, straight, right-
 
She barreled through the steel-framed door and into an office, righting herself after a moment of struggling. The orange alicorn seated behind the desk could only stare, her expression one of mild curiosity.
 
“So… Twi’ wasn’t lyin’ when she mentioned some future version of herself comin’ back that one time. Ah’m assumin’ that who y’all are at any rate.”
 
For one gloriously shining moment, Twilight could have kissed Applejack for her insight, but refrained, and instead crossed quickly to her desk.
 
“I need that,” she said, pointing a hoof at the band around Applejack’s hoof.
 
“No.” The answer was calm, spoken with barely a seconds worth of thought.
 
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Give me that.”
 
“An Ah’m tellin y’all no, it’s a gift from-”
 
“Spike, yes, I know,” she finished with a hint of desperation, “but right now, the future of Equestria in the middle of a fatal calamity. We need that bracelet, Applejack.”
 
“What good could mah band possibly serve ya, Twi’?”
 
“It’d take too long to explain but it deals with the very dragon who got it for you. Please, Applejack, I need that bracelet. …He needs it,” she added in a strained whisper.
 
Those last three words brought a wave of tension to Applejack’s emerald eyes and she studied her visitors face, every crease, every scratch and cut….
 
“…Will it save him?”
 
“It’ll save all of us.”
 
“Ah’m not interested in all of us. Only him,” Applejack reiterated, and had time not been a factor, Twilight would have found that bit of distinction brutal. “Will it save him?” she asked again, her tone disturbingly business-like.
 
“Yes.”
 
The band clattered over the desk and into Twilight’s outstretched hoof.
 
“Then save him.”
 
“…I will. And after I do, I’ll return this,” she nodded at the glinting band, “back to you. I know how important it is to you.”
 
“No ya don’t. No one does, not even loverboy. That there bracelet keeps me saner than most other things….”
 
There was nothing Twilight could say to that as she tucked the precious band down the neck of her skintight suit. “I’ll get it back to you, I promise. Three days tops.”
 
“See that ya do. ‘Cause if’n ya don’t, take care to remember that yer’ past self is but a few doors away,” Applejack responded cryptically, ominously.
 
The threat was well-received and Twilight nodded, her horn beginning to give off a few erratic purple sparks. “Noted. And, just a heads up, this is about the time just before the trip to Partyland, yes?”
 
“Ah’d reckon so.”
 
“Don’t let 56 kiss Luna on the last day.”
 
“Why not?”
 
“Because the mare from the fucking future with chaos up to her ass says so! Spike isn’t the only one in danger, but he’s at least salvageable- just do as I say!”
 
And in the same instant that Applejack’s door was blown open, allowing 77 to charge in, Twilight’s horn erupted in a shockwave of magic that blew away everything not bolted down. Ponies looking up at the castle at that precise moment would wonder why Applejack was suddenly blown back-first through the window in a spray of glass while ponies out in the hall would jump in surprise when 77 was flung into the adjacent wall.
 
It wouldn’t matter in the long run, all the injuries, the destroyed forms, the ruined office… because maybe, just maybe, the future could be fixed now. At least that’s what Twilight hoped as she made the jump back home.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon offshoot
 
>Spike
"DT"
'SS'
{Randolph}
~~~~
 
>So why are we taking a carriage to Partyland again?
 
"Randolph insisted on taking us. Something about ponies forgetting he exists."
 
>I'm surprised he can pull us at his age.
 
"I know. Believe it or not he's actually quite spry."
 
'I can't wait to get to Partyland! It's going to be so much fun with all of us together.'
The carriage abruptly stops and eventually the door opens.
 
{I'm quite sorry about this, Miss Tiara, but I may have taken a wrong turn and now I'm not quite sure where we are.}
 
"What? How could you let that happen?!"
 
{I was trying to get us to Partyland quicker by taking a shortcut, but this thick fog made it very difficult to navigate.}
DT pokes her head out and all she could see was fog.
 
"Great...just great."
 
{Fear not my lady. I'll take a quick look around to get my bearings and I'm sure we'll be on our way again.}
 
"Fine, but make it quick."
 
{I'll be back in a jiffy.}
 
~Later~
>...So he's been gone for while now. Should we be worried?
 
"Ugh, he must gotten lost."
Steps out of the carriage
"C'mon. Let's go and find him."
 
'Are you sure that's a good idea? What if we get lost too?'
 
"We're already lost. Plus sitting around isn't going to get us to Partyland any quicker. We might as well try to get directions while we're looking for Randolph. Let's go."
Spike and SS shrug at each other follow DT.
 
(optional atmospheric music)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt7KeshGMpI
 
"Look. There's a sign. Progress already."
 
>Welcome to Quiet Hill.
 
'Sounds like a pleasant town. Maybe that's where Randolph went.'
They make their way into the streets, heavily clouded by fog.
 
"Where is everypony?"
 
>It looks abandoned.
 
'I'm starting to get weird vibes about this place.'
 
"Oh, don't be silly Silver Spoon. At least it gives us a bearing. Spike, ask Rarity and see if she can tell us how to get to Partyland from here."
 
>Hey Rarity? Can you look up something for me? ....Rarity?...You there?...Hello?...Applejack?...Twilight?......that's weird. I can't seem to reach anypony.
 
'Vibes are getting worse.'
 
"Eh, we'll think of something. Randolph! Randolph, are you around here!? Stop dawdling, and get your butt back here!"
 
>I think I see an adult over there.
 
"That's probably Randolph. Randolph! Hey, don't run away from us!"
 
'I don't feel good about this.'
 
>It could be someone who can give us directions.
 
"Don't you run away from us!"
The 3 give chase.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
SO Non-canon
>SA
"Pinkie"
'CS'
~~~~~
 
>PINKIE WHAT THE HELL!?
 
"Sorry guys, we'll have to call off the party adventure."
 
>WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!? Everything is destroyed!
 
"Weelllll..."
 
~~~~~
 
"OHMYGOSH! Is this "Stamp on the ground" by the Itrotlo brothers!? I love this song!"
 
'PINKIE NO!'
 
~~~~~~
 
>...
 
"...She can riverdance, as it turns out."
 
~~~~~~
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
>Spike
"Blueblood"
'SA'
~~~~~
 
>Well, you're looking better.
 
"Oh my, a visitor? I'd almost forgotten what those were like."
 
>Gonna be like that, really?
 
"Oh, fine, I guess I am..."
 
'Oh sure, now you notice me.'
 
"...I, uh..."
 
>He said he wanted to see how you were holding up.
 
"Really!?"
 
'That shocking?'
 
"Well... yes! I mean, we never talked. And then I, well..."
 
'Almost killed me, yeah.'
 
"If you're just doing it to make me feel bad, no need."
 
'Nah. If I wanted to do that, I'd have brought Cadence. SHE was bothered, I'll tell you. Was not happy at all.'
 
"I... I did order the robots not to attack her..."
 
'I appreciate that. Also would have appreciated not trying to raze my country to the ground, but eh? What're you going to do.'
 
"I thought you were trying not to make me feel bad."
 
'Untrue, I said that's not why I was here.'
 
"Then why are you here?"
 
'See how you're doing, mostly. I have to tell you, I get being in a bad place and feeling neglected. You know? Went through a bit of that myself.'
 
"Pft, you had everything, what reason do you have to complain."
 
'Hiya, kettle? I'm pot, nice to meet you.'
 
"Point."
 
'So... what are you working on?'
 
"Just a little project."
 
'Want to talk about it? I'm good for listening.'
 
"Are you really trying to act like you'll give me a second chance after all I did?"
 
'Pal, sending robots after me is actually not the top of stuff I've had done to me, and one of the causes for that is currently stealing my covers.'
 
"Oh good lord, you actually are sleeping with that disgusting Queen!?"
 
'Nope, she mostly just eats my ice creme and messes up my paperwork. Don't even know why she does it anymore, she just thinks it's funny.'
 
"...Do you really think I have a chance out there?"
 
'Again, there is a certain someone else who staged an invasion, assaulted a royal and caused mass havoc, and she also will not leave my good wine alone.'
 
"...Thank you, Shining Armor, I know we've never been on the best terms-"
 
>Writing out laughter to my wedding invitation was pretty harsh.
 
"-but it does make me feel better to know at least someone I've hurt will possibly forgive me, besides Spike."
 
>Bout time, was going to be irritated if you ignored me.
 
'So... you guys want to play cards? I have cards.'
 
"Really?"
 
>He's stalling, his wife wants him to pack her stuff for her.
 
'And needless to say, my sister is the matter-rearranger, not me.'
 
"...Do either of you know how to play poker?"
 
'Pal, you are so lucky you don't have any money to bet.'
 
>Yeah, otherwise you'd send the Empire into a horrible debt.
 
'He says, ignoring that time I slept on a bed of his gems.'
 
>ONE BAD HAND, SHINY!
 
"Well then... can I cut the deck?"
 
'Not if you keep discreetly trying to get that other deck from your desk.'
 
"Spoilsport."
 
>Hey, maybe we should do this more often, eh? It'd be nice to play some OnO with some new players.
 
"O and O?"
 
'...You poor, naive soul.'
 
>Oh yes, this'll be fun.
 
"...I am afraid."
 
>'You should be.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
“Cadence”
'2'
=Celestia=
[42]
{18}
~Chrysalis~
-Mane-iac-
~~~~~
 
~Are we there yet?~
 
>No.
 
-Are we there yet?-
 
>No.
 
~Are we there yet?~
 
>No.
 
-Are we there yet?-
 
>No.
 
~Are we-~
 
{I WILL KILL YOU AALLLLLLLLLL!}
 
=Pay up.=
 
~Shoot, 18! Couldn't last another three times!?~
 
[Okay, that eye twitch is not healthy.]
 
{You're one to talk!}
 
“...Remember when we used to think train rides were boring?”
 
>Right? Used to think “Wow, I wish something interesting would happen.”
 
-HAHAHAHAHAH! I HAVE FOUND ALL OF THE COUCH STUFFING, WHAT DO I WIN?-
 
=A torn up couch?=
 
-A VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF EEEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL!-
 
'Shiny say's yer' not s'posed ta' tear up the couch.'
 
-Drat, really? Sorry!-
 
>I'll let it slide this one time.
 
-MAKE THAT TWO VICRTORIESAHAHAHAH!-
 
~And ponies wonder why we get along.~
 
=No, not really. You're both pretty similar in a lot of regards.=
 
~Right? Upbeat, positive, happy and free...~
 
=Insane, delusional, have bad hair...=
 
“Are you two going to be like this the whole trip?”
 
>They'll be like this their whole LIVES.
 
=Give the stallion props, he knows us.=
 
~Inside and out, in my case.~
 
=Oh ho ho! Clever slipping that one past the radar.=
 
~I have my moments.~
 
=Sadly, from the sound of it, Shiny didn't have much more. For you, at least.=
 
~HAH! Well, you know what they say, practice makes perfect.~
 
“...I'm right here.”
 
~Hush, princess of vanilla, the mares are talking.~
 
'OHMIGOSH! Yer' princess of vanilla too!? WHY DIDN'T YA' TELL ME CADDY!? I love vanilla! It's like Marchmalley but not actually in any way!'
 
“I'm not actually-”
 
=Cadence, I now pronounce you princess of vanilla.=
 
“CHOKE ON A SNOWBALL!”
 
~Oooh, maybe not as vanilla as we thought!~
 
“What? What does that mean?”
 
=~...~=
 
“...What?!”
 
=~...PFFFTHAHAHAHAHHA!~=
 
“I am so confused.”
 
[I actually am too.]
 
'I wanna know what's funny too!'
 
-I AM ALWAYS CONFUSED! FOR IN MY MAAAAADNESS ALL THINGS ARE BEWILDERINGAHAHAHAHAHAH!-
 
>Uh, honey? Come here real quick....*whisperwhipser*
 
“...EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
 
{Right? Ugh, I think 34 did that once. Bleh.}
 
[Still confused.]
 
'Is it gross!? I wanna know gross stuff too!'
 
>It means to eat a snowball filled with worms.
 
'EEWWWWW!'
 
[That doesn't sound so ba-]
 
>White 'worms', 42. In the white snowball.
 
[…]
 
~...You can see the little gears in her head moving.~
 
=Fascinating, isn't it?=
 
[...*BLAM!*]
 
~TAPDANCING CTHULU ON ICE! WHAT THE WHAT!?~
 
“42!? You okay!? A... a green flash just went off in your brain. You' alright? You don't look alright.”
 
[*THUMP!*]
 
>...Well, okay, no more of that.
 
=Agreed.=
 
~DON'T YOU DIE ON ME! I have, like, six competent changelings, total!~
 
=Snk!=
 
~And how many competent ponies do you have!?~
 
=...Well, that's a depressing number.=
 
>She going to be okay?
 
{Yeah, she's fine. Not the first time this happened.}
 
“H-heh, good thing we're going on vacation, right? Relaxing?”
 
>'[{=~...~=}]
 
“Right...”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________