Title:           Thread 27: Stories 76-90
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/3K2qcg9j
First Edit:      Sunday 13th of July 2014 02:22:32 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 13th of July 2014 02:22:32 AM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Arana
"Rarity"
'AJ'
~~~~
 
>Hiya Rarara!
 
"...Are you going to call me that, really?"
 
>Applejack said you liked that name."
 
"..."
 
'...Ah regret nothin'.'
 
>Ya' have fun picking up Spike?
 
"Mmm, I suppose."
 
'Somethin' wrong?'
 
"Oh, I know I'm being silly about this, but it just bothers me so much that he went in so impulsively."
 
'Takin' her down fer' good is a pretty high priority, Rar'.'
 
"Not that high!"
 
>Wait, take who down? Is Spike seeing someone else too?
 
"What!? No!... Don't think I could handle more competition at this point."
 
'She's talkin' bout Chitania.'
 
>...O-oh... you, um, you tried to 'take her out?'
 
"Not me personally, but... Oh dear."
 
'What? Lost here.'
 
"Sweetie, she's not the same as back then."
 
>O-o-oh! Yeah! I know, don't have to tell me none, nope! I understand, gotta do what you've got to do, even i-if...
 
"Oh... oh my..."
 
'Majorly lost here.'
 
"Listen, Applejack, back when her mother was still alive, before Chitania's imprisonment, she, well... she used to help out Sciderella."
 
>She was the ONLY one who helped us out! Nobody else liked us!... But I understand, she's not... she's not that Chitania anymore, and she did a lot of bad things, so... so you have to...
 
'....Ah. Ah' see.'
 
>...Um, Rara-... Rarity? I made you a scarf, this one's waterproof too.
 
"Oh, darling, it's lovely!"
 
>Thanks. I'm going to... I think I'm going to go to bed early. Night everyone.
 
'G'night.'
 
The pair were silent as she watched her scurry into the vent, and curl up for the night.
 
"...Oh dear..."
 
'Can't let somethin' like that change what has ta' happen, Rar'. It ain't right ta' everyone else.'
 
"Oh, I know, it's just..."
 
'...Yeah...'
 
Silently, Arana unraveled her latest creation. To anyone else, it would look like an overly long, weirdly narrow blanket. It's for the best, she decided. She could probably make hundred scarves with this. Instead of...
 
'...Ah' feel it too.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Screwloose
“???”
‘Orderly’
~~~~~
 
The sudden knocking against her titanium-cast door caused one of her ears to perk and a smile to grow.
 
>Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a waste of cum~!
 
‘Ugh, stow the poetry, you nut bag, you got a visitor. Why? I have no idea, but you do.’
 
>Tinsel, is that you? Still so sore about that time I mashed one of your jewels, eh? Told you that freebie grab of yours under the guise of putting on my straightjacket would come back to haunt you. I wouldn’t think you’d remind yourself of it by calling me ‘nut bag’, though.
 
One might have thought an Ursa Major had rammed the door by the violent concussion that rocked its frame.
 
>So sensitive.
 
‘Just get your ass to the door. You’ve got five minutes, I suggest you speak fast.’
 
>Yeah, yeah, yeah.
 
Arms tightly bound within her hug-me jacket, Screwloose merely rolled off her cot and to the ground. From there, she continued to roll, and roll, chortling madly until she collided full-force with the door. When she did, that square latch was pulled open and she heard the sound of a solo pair of hooves trotting away.
 
>So someone finally answered my ad in the paper for a conjugal visit? What’s your name, stud? Or miss?
 
“I see your twisted sense of humor hasn’t taken a hit throughout the years, Loosey.”
 
The way Screwloose’s body suddenly lifted up at the middle would have suggested demonic possession, but she did, staring intently through the small window provided. She saw nothing, which meant the visitor was purposefully standing off to the side.
 
>Who are you…? Quit hiding and come out, I… I know that voice….
 
“Showing you who I am would defeat the purpose of my freedom, I’m afraid.”
 
>But… but I heard you- that you-
 
“I’m sure you heard a number of things about me, which is surprising given that you’re completely cut off from the outside world.”
 
>You’re alive….
 
“I prefer free, Loosey. I hear that she came to visit you with a proposal.”
 
>…
 
“Did you accept?”
 
>…I didn’t not accept.
 
“What do you think of her?”
 
>The stench of her spoke of world domination and not much else. Ambitious and sufficiently goal-oriented, sure, but narrow-minded.
 
“Hm.”
 
>Come back.
 
“Are you asking me or demanding me?”
 
>A bit of both. You know as well as I do that they need you….
 
“I would say I’ve earned a bit of vacation, Loosey. But as for you, don’t you think your vacation is just about up?”
 
>One cannot simply take a break from madness. You oughta know that about me. What, you think I haven’t been working while locked up here? I have piles of play-doh schematics stashed under my bed.
 
The visitor chuckled.
 
So did Screwloose. It was odd to admit but… she was relieved at the moment, hearing the voice of someone she’d thought seen off the cusp of life.
 
“You know what you’re going to end up doing, Loosey.”
 
>Is that a simple observation or a demand?
 
“A bit of both. You know as well as I do that they’re going to need you.”
 
Hearing her own words spit back at her and so quickly caused Screwloose to roll her eyes.
 
>Not even death can tame a clever mind it seems.
 
“Some things never change.”
 
>Apparently….
 
A buzzer sounded somewhere down the hall signaling the end of their conversation.
 
“I’ll keep in touch. Think about it, Loosey.”
 
>I will, so long as you give some thought to joining the living again.
 
“Fawntaine Futuristics is in capable hooves. It doesn’t need me haunting its halls.”
 
>…You’re wrong.
 
‘Who in the world are you talking to, Screwloose?’
 
Screwloose blinked, staring into the perplexed face of a nurse.
 
>You’re not Tinsel….
 
‘Who?’
 
>Nothing.
 
That’s right… That’s right, yeah. Tinsel had died a year ago from cardiac arrest. Probably the only nurse that visited her off the clock, and he sometimes still did so, death be damned. Although this time… he seemed to have brought a visitor along.
 
>But I could swear he was right there….
 
‘Still talking to yourself like a loon, Screwloose?’
 
>Still trying to cover up those hideous pockmarks with copious amounts of makeup?
 
‘…’
 
>That’s what I thought.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Twilight
"Rekulk"
'Vekir'
-Grehm-
~77~
 
>And just hold that posture, please.
 
'Nnnngh...'
 
"Uh..."
 
>Just a bit more.
 
'Nnnnnnngh...'
 
"Sister!"
 
>Almost...
 
'NNNNNGH!'
 
"You can breathe through your nose!"
 
>There! Okay, I've got you completely modeled.
 
'Yay!'
 
Vekir hops down from a raised dais where Twilight had been scanning her with machinery designed to give a 1:1 digital model of a person's body. Vekir quickly lowers her head and scoops up her oversized helmet on to it, her words almost echoing inside it.
 
'I held my breath the whole time!'
 
"No one said you had to, sister, I talked to the Princess all the way through!"
 
'But the Helmeted One said I am at my wisest when I am silent! Therefore, if I do not breathe, I'm extra silent!'
 
>She maaaay have just wanted ya to pipe down for a while...anyway, Mr. Grehm? It's your turn.
 
Grehm gives a grunt, stepping onto the dais.
 
>This won't take too long, Mr. Grehm, you're not much longer than your...brother?
 
"It is...technical."
 
-His sister is my mate.-
 
>Ohhhh, brother in law, I understand.
 
"Noooo, brother by mate. Laws are handled by Head of Metal."
 
>No that's just-anyway, you're quite the specimen Mr. Grehm, you have a physique on par with some of the more fit stallions I've seen.
 
"Twience Princess, he already has a mate!"
 
>I'm not-Vekir, distract your brother please?
 
'At once! Behold!'
 
FWUMP!
 
>"-...-"
 
Where Vekir stood is now just the helmet.
 
>How...
 
'I AM QUEEN IN HERE!'
 
"Sister!"
 
'I...think I am stuck.'
 
"Oh dear..."
 
Rekulk stalks over to try and fish his younger sister out of her predicament. Twilight returns her attention to Grehm.
 
>So, care to share how you got so burly? I do have a passing interest in Morlock physiology, considering how similar you are to us. Between us, you, and the changelings, the pony 'family tree' could be much larger than anyone thought possible.
 
-...I fought large creatures. I grew strong. I protect my people with my strength.-
 
>...ah. Well. Any information is good information.
 
-Sometimes I fought...less large creatures.-
 
>Uh huh?
 
-I took...less pride in those fights. Looking back. Far far less. To know I did things to...creatures. It hurts.-
 
>What are you-?
 
~Ah, Princess Twilight, there you are. The Queen is ready to continue reading from the Titan's journal.~
 
>Just a moment 77, almost...alright, Mr. Grehm, thank you all. I'll be able to design something soon, I think.
 
-Many thanks, Princess.-
 
Grehm steps off the dais and looks at 77, his eyes are solemn, and he holds the look a long moment.
 
~Can I help you?~
 
-We will have words, I think, One-Eye. Soon. I will not enjoy them. But I have them, because it is only just.-
 
Grehm walks away, a slow ponderous gait.
 
~Great, now we have one that talks in riddles.~
 
>There's something weird with him, tell Chrysalis I'll be along in just a bit.
 
~Of course.~
 
>Rekulk, you can find your way back to your room before dawn, right?
 
Rekulk finally manages to pull his sister out of the helmet, the two tumbling into a heap. Rekulk blows strands of hair from his sister's tail out of his face.
 
"Pff! Of course, Twience Princess! We shall go at once!"
 
Rekulk stands and goes to leave, but turns as he sees his sister making grabby hooves at the helmet.
 
"LEAVE IT!"
 
'Awww...'
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>42
"10"
{BBB}
~~~~~
 
>...Why did I suddenly just get a terrible feeling?
 
"HIYA!"
 
>GAH!
 
"Miss 42, do you have any statement on the recent destruction of the Appleloosa express? Does the knowledge that Chitania was riding around undetected onboard the train affect the Empire's investigation?"
 
>How did you get in here!?
 
"I traveled through time!"
 
>...What?
 
"I snuck in last night and waited for you to come inside."
 
>Huh... is that thing dangerous?
 
{BZZT! Danger levels reduced under threshold of 1-100th of a possibility of personal injury.}
 
>What?
 
"Guy says no. Come on, he's a professional! Of course he's not going to hurt my interviewee! This guy has seen it all, I tell ya!"
 
>It looks like he's seen the wrong end of a flamethrower.
 
{BZZT! Dragons are irate randomly.}
 
"Knowledgeable, he is. But to the point, the investigation?"
 
>And what makes you think I'm investigating anything?
 
"Because I've gotten information for you like, a bunch of times?"
 
>...Shoot, right. No, it does not effect anything. We will take the knowledge of how she has been getting around into consideration, but it has no major effect on how we plan to capture her. It was pure coincidence that she was found, nothing more.
 
"What about the allegations that Princess Twilight diverted the train away from a populated area to have a fight?"
 
>That was not the actions of the Princess, she had nothing to do with that occurrence.
 
"Do you guys actually HAVE a way to stop Chitania, if you should find her again?"
 
>We do, but on the off chance she is reading this paper I will not divulge that information.
 
"Reasonable, very fair. So, I take it the A-team will have a better time this go round?"
 
>...No comment. Do not want to seem cocky.
 
"Humble, I like it! You got all that, BBB?"
 
{PROCESSED!}
 
"AWESOME! Thanks for the talk, Miss 42!... Now if you don't mind-"
 
>Have to use the bathroom?
 
"I'VE BEEN HOLDING IT IN FOR SIX HOURS!"
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>10
"Trenderhoof"
{BBB}
~~~~~
 
>TRENDY! Trender my man! How you doing, doing good?
 
"I was shot at yesterday. The new regime in Happyland did not take kindly to reporters."
 
{LOGIC ERROR! That does not sound very happy.}
 
"They're conisdering bringing the name back to Stalliongrad."
 
>Good for them, nice to mix stuff up now and then.
 
"Are those arrows in you?"
 
>Hm? Oh, no, they're darts! Supposed to be poisonous, but I guess my 10stuff is just too stuffy for them! Besides, BBB took, like, all but two.
 
{There were approximately four hundred and ten.}
 
>See that? Took the time to count 'em even, that's dedication.
 
"How do you do this?"
 
>Mostly rolling and hiding behind BBB. Tough guy, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
"I mean, how do you put up with being in so much danger all the time?"
 
>Mostly bandaids. You want one? I have a box.
 
"Really?'
 
>Naahhh, it's empty. But Trendy, that's the point! You know who keeps ponies updated on the turmoil in the Neighle valley? Not the other guys, they're afraid of the crazy ponies with the swords. You know who broke ground with the pygmy tribe in west Everfree? Not the other guys, they're afraid of getting stabbed and eaten. You know who is the most up to date on Stalliongrad's regime changes? US! The Hive Gazette, baby! Because we go there to those places and we get the scoop! We tell it like it IS, not how they want it to be, because if we don't tell them, how will they know? So I'm gonna go in there and get that story, and my readers are gonna learn whole new things! If you wanna back out, I don't blame you, really, I feel ya', but I can't. I'm AJ10, and I'm a reporter!
 
"...Wow."
 
>Worked on that speech for, like, five minutes. Took forever.
 
"...So, these bandaids, do you buy them in bulk?"
 
>I'll give you my supplier, trust me, you get them at a discount!
 
"...Can I get a robot too?"
 
{BZZT! There is no other robot available.}
 
>Sorry, buddy, but BBB is one of a kind. The best camerapony there ever was, and don't forget it!
 
"Awww..."
 
>...I guess I can dip into some funds for a bodyguard.
 
"Now we're talking!"
 
>...What is my bank account up to anyway? I haven't checked it in, like... ever. I have never looked at it.
 
{BZZT! DATA SHOWS ACCOUNT IS AT 130,480, bits!}
 
>Is that good?
 
"..."
 
>...It sounds kind of 'meh', I don't know about you, but I'm not good with money.
 
"...How-"
 
{INSTRUCTION! Just roll with it.}
 
"What he said, this guy knows."
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>77
"Cheerilee"
~~~~~
 
>Cheerilee, are you alright?
 
"Why, whatever do you mean?"
 
Slowly, he looked around the room, which was on fire, before eventually looking back to her.
 
>...
 
"...It's very warm."
 
>You seem more irate than usual.
 
"Do I? Oh, that's nothing, I'm probably just being consumed by the hated fires of the endless darkness that corrupts my very mind with every passing day and nothing I do puts them back and they just keep coming back and I'M JUST A FUCKING TEACHER WHY ARE THESE THINGS AFTER ME AAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
 
>...
 
"I mean, I'm feeling fine, I don't know what you're talking about. All in your head, deary."
 
>You summoned an arch demon.
 
"SON OF A BITCH!"
 
Picking up one of DT's confiscated rocket launchers, she whirled on the giant portal forming behind her, and blasted it to hell.
 
"And all 29 has to deal with are little kids. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT."
 
>...Honey?
 
"WHAT!?"
 
>Do you have any vacation days coming up?
 
"...Oh my! That sounds like a lovely idea!"
 
Abruptly, all of the fire from the room vanished.
 
"You know, I know JUST the place too, oh it's so pretty and sweet! Little Pinkie talks about it all the time, it's sure to be a ball."
 
>I'm sure.
 
"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"
 
Humming a happy tune, she skipped out the door.
 
>...I don't know what's scarier, what just happened, or the fact I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND what just happened... confusing.
 
{You said it.}
 
77 did not reply verbally.
 
Personally, he felt that driving his knife into the demon's head said it all.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ10
"Featherweight"
'Cheerilee'
~~~
'Alright, everyone, I'd like to make an announcement!'
 
"Does it have to do with the camera equipment going berserk around you and your boyfriend all the time? or are we finally getting that hellhole in the middle of the floor patched?"
 
'Actually the hell hole is a requirement, it's like a wheelchair ramp for demons. I can't close it because Astaroth says he wants his daughter to have a proper education.'
 
"Then are you going to tell Hellcolt to stop hogging all the pancakes?"
 
'Nope. The Foal Free press was bought out! You're under new management!'
 
"WHAT!?"
 
'don't worry, you'll still operate under The Foal Free Press, but I don't have to deal with the overhead anymore, meet your new boss!'
 
>Hello, children, are you ready for some hard-hitting local journalism?!
 
"... Everything turned out better than I expected."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon
>AJ10
"Featherweight"
~~~
>Look, Featherweight, I'm not gonna be sending you into Stalliongrad or tell you to report on local murders or anything.
 
"Whew..."
 
>I've read the stories you put in your newspapers, and they're good, but they could be better! you're holding yourself back a lot! And what's with this gossip column?
 
"Well, it's one of our most popular-"
 
>To hell with popularity! The real and full story needs to be told! Not just what's heard in the bathroom stalls!
 
"I understand..."
 
>Look, Feather, I'm not trying to be hard on you, but real journalism means exposing the ugly truth to people. The truths that matter. Like pictures! Pictures of Spiderling!
 
"... I think I'll start on the Ponyville economy."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Also non-canon
>AJ10
"Blueblood Bot"
' Arana '
~~~
>Yes! Yes! That's it! Get a shoot from every angle! I want this story covered like my grandma's dead body!
 
"ERROR: CHANGELING HIVES DO NOT COMMONLY HAVE FUNERARY PRACTICES"
 
>I don't care! just keep snapping pictures! I need more pictures of Spiderling!
 
'...You guys are making me very uncomfortable.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Luna
"Celestia"
 
>Dear sister, we do not think we've seen you write upon paper with such intensity before, what could you be so focused on?
 
"A play"
 
>You can do theatrics?
 
"Probably not, I'm just writing a play because I really need to"
 
>We don't remember you getting cathartic from playwriting
 
"Well this is a special play"
 
>Very well then, may I see it
 
"Go ahead, I'm halfway through the fourth act"
 
>...
 
"Well?"
 
>It's called "Chrysalis gets punched in the face and cries"
 
"Spent far too long just getting the title right"
 
>It's...nothing but Chrysalis getting punched in the face.....weeping...lamenting how terrible she is.....all the other characters agree.....and then they punch her in the face again....stage directions of different methods of punching Chrysalis in the face....
 
"Should net me a few awards I think"
 
>And it goes on for three whole acts, are you alright Tia?
 
"Yes yes, perfectly fine, ah....aaaaaaand there's the finale"
 
>...
 
"Come on, be honest like that orange is"
 
>The finale is....one long group soliloquy about why being a bitch is terrible.....you getting fed mounds of cake while reclining on a throne while they're at it.....
 
"Here comes the tearjerker"
 
>Aaaaaand, the entire cast starts kicking Chrysalis on the ground as the curtain falls
 
"Beautiful, I think it's my magnum opus"
 
>And we think you need a break, shall I alert the cooks
 
"Yes"
 
>...What level are thou at?
 
"Broken Arrow"
 
>Ah, I'll tell the kitchens. Please, don't think about moving or interacting with anyone else until we give the signal, then, just open the door, slowly.
 
"OK"
 
>Farewelldearsister-SLAM-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SCENE 45 - BEDROOM - INT
"Catapult is rolled into the room as Chrysalis sits there, knowing and fully accepting of her fate."
 
"A purple dragon, SPIKE, casually walks on screen, and sits in the catapult."
 
"He is FLUNG at top speeds, fist outstretched, and punches her in the face. She knows she deserves this."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Scene - Rock Quarry - Ext
 
A giant marble fist is bring hewn at the top of a mighty stone pillar. Chrysalis lies beneath it.
 
The artisans finish their work and begin chipping away at the support pillar. Chrysalis lays in its path, dreading her 100% deserved fate.
 
The marble fist begins to tip, slowly at first, but it picks up speed with a mighty crack as the supports crumble.
 
The last thought yo go through her head was "Maybe this will improve my stupid face."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
SCENE - VOLCANO - EXT
 
"Chrysalis is dangled over the center as the volcano below begins to shake, knowing full well what is about to come and fully accepting of her fate. In fact, she is happy that someone at last has the sense to knock the dumb out of her, and hopes she will be smart later."
 
"From within the volcano, magic makes a giant fist form in the middle."
 
"Then it erupts."
 
"Chrysalis does not get smarter by the ensuing punch, as that would be impossible."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon
 
>Pommel
"Daw"
'Rat'
~~~
"Well that was terribly offensive."
 
'It's like they have no respect for people of our profession!'
 
"Exactly! I mean how often do we get shitfaced and sing?"
 
'... Actually just last night.'
 
"... I'm still offended."
 
'Me to!'
 
>Guys, it's just Pirates of the Marebbean! It's not supposed to be taken seriously!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SCENE - DENTIST OFFICE - EXT
 
"Chrysalis had angered the Molar Gods for the last time. She finds herself strapped to a chair."
 
"Her crimes against teeth are as thus: not flossing, no brushing, lack of toothpaste, four month old toothbrush, and failing to rinse."
 
"She is struggling valiantly when a toothpaste-maned mare enters the room, her horn alit and levitating a huge fist comprised of teeth."
 
"The anger of the Molar Gods is delivered via a thunderous punch that does not make Chrysalis smarter but relieves her of her fangs."
 
"A just punishment."
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