Title: Thread 23: Stories 91-105 Author: PrincessApplejack Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/0hQf6ZYY First Edit: Wednesday 11th of June 2014 04:22:27 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 11th of June 2014 04:22:27 PM CDT _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   ~~~~~FOUR MONTHS LATER!~~~~   Entire building lies in ruins, with a giant angry Queen stomping through every single brick.   "YOU PUT ME IN SOCKS AND GOTH MAKEUP! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!"   >WE TRIED TO PLAY GOD!   "NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE LIKE THEM!"   The next day, everyone all got together and agreed that an earthquake had caused the damage.   They were not missed. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Applejack "Spike" ~~~~   >...   "What?"   >Y'all were right, you know.   "About what?"   >Ya' said, "when this is all over, Yer' gonna thank me." Ya' were right, yer' little plan worked out fer' the better.   "...It didn't really. In fact, it almost set her off and caused her to distrust everyone and want revenge, while still leaving her off scott free to do whatever it is she wanted to do. I'm not going to lie to myself, Applejack, if Cadence hadn't stepped in..."   >Well, ya' did outsmart her, so that was somethin'.   "Yeah, I guess..."   >...But that jus' means she ain't gonna underestimate ya' no more, doesn't it?   "Nope. She's not going to play around and just assume it'll work out."   >And she probably ain't gonna think yer' on her favorites list anytime soon.   "..."   >...Hey, loverboy?   "Yeah?"   >How's about next time, we work out the plannin' together, eh? No more'a this "Spring the whole plan at the last second."   "You think there's going to be a next time?"   >With Chrysalis.... ya' better believe it.   "Scary part is, I never doubted it." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >2 "Student" ~~~~~   >Here's my permission slip so I can go on tha' field trip Mrs Teacher! It's got Mommy-Clearance!   "...What?"   >What what?   "What kind of clearance does it have?"   >Mommy clearance. It's pretty simple, it's two level clearance... the number, not... not the me.   "Two?"   >Yes?   "No, I mean... you have levels for permission slips?"   >Kinda? Mommy and Daddy levels are the same, but Mommy PLUS Daddy levels are above that an' I gots to get top level for important stuff, but then we got other levels with 18, 42, Applejack, Auntie Celestia, Auntie Twilight now that she's all better, and Somby. Then we got levels below THAT with Auntie Luna, Uncle Spike, Mr 77 and Auntie Twilight's friends. And below that we got's Not-Mom clearance, which is I'm s'posed ta' ask someone higher before I get an okay, cause she does crazy stuff all the time.   "...My mom signs these without looking."   >Wow, yer' mom must be psychic!   "...Let's... let's go with that." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Twilight "Dash" 'AJ' [Rarity] -Fluttershy- (Spike) ~~~ "Man, we do NOT get to do this enough."   'Ah hear ya, Dashie. Shame Pinkie's busy though.'   -Then we'll just have to do this more often to keep up to date on eachother.-   [On the note of keeping up to date, Spikey, Applejack, I do believe the two of you recently spent a romantic weekend in Ponyville.]   "Hey-o! Sounds like our little man's balls have dropped!"   (Dash... Do you have to put it like that?)   Twilight puts on her airhead voice   >But she's like, totally right! Spill the beans, marefriend!   'Ah will redirect SOOOO much fundin' to a personal cake budget fer you an' research if you never do that again!'   >I promise nothing!   -I won't sic Discord on you.-   >Eh, the Valley Mare thing is overdone, and talking like that hurts my throat.   "Seriously though, I NEED this, gimme the dirty details. Does Spike have-"   (A GENTLEDRAKE! Does NOT kiss and tell.)   [Ah, he always knows what to say to moisten a mare up.]   Fluttershy and Twilight scoot their chairs away from Rarity uncomfortably   [But, fortunately, mares are under no such obligation. So, Applejack, darling, are you going to tell us?]   >I am interested to know how you've been treating Spike.   Fluttershy blushes   -Well, an I am curious about how dragons mate.-   >(Very clumsily.)   "... I won't ask."   'Well, since ya'll insist, we spent tha first day at tha library, we shopped fer groceries fer lunch an' dinner where we ran inta 29, Zecora, the Mayor, an' Trixie, then we went home, talked, cleaned up tha place an' reogranized tha books-'   "BOR-RING! Skip to the sex!"   'There wasn' any, Dash.'   "Welp, my interest is gone.'   (I got a new gun and confirmed Big Mac is a Communist-)   "INTEREST HAS RETURNED WITH A REVENGEANCE!"   >Sometimes, I worry about Rainbow Dash.   -Welcome to my world.- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >77 "DT"   "So I couldn't polish my launcher in the house and it's just...ugh! Really wanted those igniting crystals!"   >Seems wholly unreasonably of your father.   "How are the brownies?"   >Orgasmic.   "I know, right? Anyway, I came here to the clubhouse to polish it instead, little stress relief, y'know?"   >Indeed.   "Hey...can I ask you something?"   >Of course, poppet, what's on your mind?   "That tournament thing...you guys fought in the simulator, but I didn't..."   >Yes?   "Well in the simulator, you, Sparkle, PJ, and dragon boy kicked the bucket."   >That is...a way of putting it.   "Well, what was it like?"   >Beg pardon?   "Dying."   >Why...why would you be interested in such a thing?   "I dunno, why were YOU so interested in it?"   >Excuse me?   "You asked Spike and PJ about how it felt to die, but you never how it felt for you."   >...how did you find out about that?   DT smirks.   "You'd be surprised how a girl like me can manage to be unseen, though I guess I picked up a few things from you. I overheard both times, just stood on the other side of a door, wondering why you were so intent on learnig but not willing to give out your end."   >Clever girl.   "I have my moments, now spill."   77 sighs, looking down, around, and finally fixing his gaze on the filly.   >I require a promise, first.   "Depends on the promise."   >You may tell no other member of my hive. If they knew-   "Relax, you're like one of four changelings I talk to, and one I just try to kill...I've been slacking off on that, I need to step my game up."   >Promise.   77's intense insistence makes DT relent a bit.   "Okay, yeah, I promise."   77 sighs.   >Time...slowed down, when my throat was slashed. It wasn't real in the sense of my death would be permanent, but the pain...the pain was excruciating. However, it wasn't the only thing in my head. There were...voices...   "Voices?"   >Thoughts, dozens of them. Angered shouts, calling my victorious sister horrible names, demanding to know what made her think she was deserving of taking my life, what struggles she had overcome, what losses she had suffered. Wailing moans, lamenting my lack of crucial skills, my impending demise, that all I had went through was for naught, I was simply not good enough. They all screamed through my mind to the point that I could barely think as my corpse fell to the ground.   DT blinks.   "Shit...what...what did you do?"   >I shouted them down, mentally. Railed against the disrespectful voices that thought 42's victory was anything but well deserved and hard fought. I scolded the cowardly thoughts that feared death, that would cling, shivering to life when giving my life for the hive was the logical end to my purpose on this world. I was loud, I was forceful, I demanded to know if there was a greater death than that of a warrior's...and then...   DT was leaning in, rapt.   "And then?"   >A single voice, unlike the others, calm, friendly, not contradicting or arguing, but purely stating a fact rang out. 'There is a better way to live, and a better way to die.' The voice was not my own...but I did not recognize it at first, as I began to black out. I argued with it, arguing the merits of the life of a warrior whilst it countered with the virtues of a life of peace. Honor clashed with stability, glory with contentedness, duty with love. It seemed to go on for hours even though it was mere seconds.   "Well it seems pretty obvious which side won, because you're sitting right here!"   77 shakes his head.   >The voice...her voice...played its trump card just before I was revived by the simulation.   "Her?"   >The voice...it was Cheerilee...my sweet Ms. Cheerilee.   "Oh...ohhh...what...what was the trump card?"   >It was...a vision, of a peaceful death. I am old, very old, lying in a bed, my knife hung on a plaque and gsthering dust. Cheerilee is beside the bed, but she was not alone...children, I have children, a son and a daughter. They have my beloved's eyes. The daughter flings herself into the arms of her husband, weeping even as I reassure her that all is well, and I look to my other side.   77 smiles a bit at the image of what comes next.   >There are three little heads looking up at me...my grandchildren, sweet and innocent as any other babe. I send them away so they do not see my final minutes, preserving their innocence. I regard all around, say what goodbyes I can, and pass in peace.   "I...wow..."   >That vision has haunted me for months, made no better thanks to recent events and deterioration of my brother. I did not tell anyone else of what I saw in my death-save one other-because to do so now with all that has happened, would only bring more strife to an already delicate time. It seems despite the voice, a warrior's death is all I can hope and all I should ever aspire to receive.   77 stands.   >I would ask you keep your promise, Poppet, if not for our affiliations, then for the sake of whatever friendship there is between us.   "Yeah, of course."   >Thank you.   "There's something missing from that death though."   >Hm?   "Me."   DT smiles a bit.   "I wouldn't miss you kicking the can for the world, old man."   >But of course, child. I'll leave you to your polishing.   "No, please, stay. After all, us scrubs that got knocked out in round one might want to stick together, you know?"   77 smiles and retakes his seat.   >There is a wisdom in that, indeed, and-oh dear.   "Huh, what?   >You appear to have dropped one of your grenades on the floor.   "Aw sh-"   DT looks down in time for her nose to meet the tip of 77's hoof, flicking her and causing her to look up, eyes wide, into 77's smirking face. He ruffles her mane.   >Still a child.   "You got me AGAIN!" _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >32 "Spike" ~~~~~   >Spike the Dragon! My very favorite visitor, currently. Oh, how are you, are you doing well?   "...Okay, kind of creepy."   >Weeeelll, let's just say I heard there was a little confrontation the other day. A certain group was rushing off to face a certain moronic, pathetic, self destructive bitch of a Queen. As you can see, I have my confetti ready, so please, tell me if she has at last left this earth to go find a hell where she so belongs, or if I will be getting a new cellmate soon enough. Please, don't keep me in suspense.   "...Just came down here to tell you Twilight is doing better. She'll be visiting you again eventually."   >...Oh? You... you managed to get her out of her funk, did you?   "Well, actually... kind of owe a lot of that to Chrysalis. Nothing I tried worked, but she hashed it out with her and it turned out for the better in the end."   >...I see...   "Sorry to disappoint you."   >No no, I am... I am glad my examiner will be making more visits, and I await her arrival.   "You seem upset."   >I am most certainly not, I am happy you all decided to show your invader mercy and not kill he while you had the chance.   "...Your confetti is on fire."   >The fire is happy, Spike. Just... so much happy.   "..."   >...Yaaaaaayyy.... _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >29 "CS" 'MM' [Zecora] ~Trixie~ ~~~~~~   >You realize I'm not an exorcist, right?   "Oh? You don't help guide souls to the afterlife? Pinkie said you did that."   >Well, no, I mean I do that, but it's more about orphan children.   "How about teens? Late teens specifically?"   >...I suppose a few years is a bit unreasonable a reason to withhold aide from moving on to the great beyond... but nothing over twenties! Mine standards must be upheld!   "Great! They're right inside that door."   >How odd, how do you know- SWEET MERCIFUL FIRES OF-   *SLAM!*   *SCREECHING NOISES AND ROARING*   '...Just to double check, these are pirate ghosts, right?'   "Well, pirate ghosts are in there, sure."   'I thought you said-'   "I said they were underage, and I stick by that! No way were those things a single day over thirteen when they got banished to incorporeal form."   [I wish you had warned us of just what it was he would face. I could have brought his staff, and had him level that place.]   "Awww, sorry! Pinkie bo-binkie is the one who wrote the letter, I don't really know the guy."   'I don't think Pinkie and him know each other all that well either. Last time we met she bled him dry for bits.'   "So THAT'S how she could afford to get the carousel in... smart!"   ~The Great And Powerful Trixie would just like to say... yeah, this was actually kind of a dick move. Don't kill Trixie's room mate!~   "Oh, you're the one he's living with? Wow. I actually thought it would be one of you two he was seeing. My shipping sense is way off."   'I actually have my own place.'   [Same.]   ~TRIXIE IS BETWEEN GIGS!~   "Ooooh. Okay-"   *FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH!*   "..." '...' [...] ~...~   *SLAM!*   >Okay, so... all gone... lot's... lot's of deeply personal issues... but we're all... good....   "Great! Bathroom's all clear, when can you get started on all the other buildings?"   >...Other buildings?   "Yeah, all of them."   >...   "...Loooota looting."   *WHUMP!*   "...Whenever you wake up, in that case." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   "Suckerpunch" >"41" 'Random Guard'   ---   "Nuh... Shrushly, its like, we alwaysh fight n' stuff, but, we're buddies, y'know?"   >"Yeeah, ah know... Ahm better n' you in tha fightin' though."   "Nuh-uh, ahm better."   >"Whateverr... why are we jusht shtandin' here drunk outshide tha barrachks..?"   "I'unno, dude... Its like... we walked, ah gueshh."   >"Oh yeah.."   "Yannow.. you kinda look lika girl..."   >"Heeyy! Fuck yoou! Ah do noht!"   "Ya kinda do... Ahsa way ya do yer hair ah thinhks."   >"Ah c'mon, ah guys gotta take pride in summin', why noht 'is mane?"   "True... True, ah gueshh... Hah..."   >"Whaat?"   "You... jus', pwretty, like a girl..."   >"Whaaaaa...? Dude..."   "You look almosht kishhabul..."   >"Duude, get offa meesh! Yer embaraashin!"   'Hey, guys, lay off the shenanigans, Princesses are gonna be coming by in a second. I'm not wanting to get reprimanded because you two got drunk and rutted on the floor.'   >"H-hey ahm not ghay!"   "Yeaah, neither ahm ah, 'e's jus' really pwretty..."   >"Dude!" _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-canon >Spike "Chrysalis" '32' ~~~ In an alternate universe, where Chrysalis was arrested (possibly for unrelated charges) and is now locked up in the cell next to 32's...   'Well! Well! Well! what have we here? Chrysalis? Ah, oooooh! I'm really scared! So you're the one who's supposed to lead the hive? Ahahaha! You're joking! You're joking! This can't be the right mare! You're joking me, you gotta be, just here get outta here! She's whorish! She's stupid!'   "Oh, shut the fuck up you self-entitled twat! I don't need to listen to your off-key musical numbers! I do them way better!"   'This Day Aria was a shitty song!'   "You take that back!"   'Or else what?'   "I AM SINGING THE QUIET SONG!! THE QUIET SONG!!! THE QUIET SONG!!!"   'It's the song the never ends! It goes on an on my friends!'   Meanwhile, watching all this from a camera feed...   >You know, it's honestly disturbing how alike the two can be in maturity. It's like they're siblings or something.   'RUBBING MY BUTT ON CHRYSSI'S CELL BARS!'   >Very disturbing... _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Pinkie "Igneous" 'Cloudy Quartz' [SA] ~~~~~~~   >DADDY! MOMMY! OOOH! It's so good to see you guys again!   "Welcome back, daughter. Here to visit?"   >Naah, helping a giant smoke monster out, you know how it goes.   'Indeed. Who is your companion?'   >OH! This is Shining Armor! He's the prince of the Crystal Empire and the bestest best brother to my bestest best friend Twilight!   [It's very nice to meet you both, Pinkie has said a lot about you.]   "..." '...'   [Is... is something wrong?]   "You can do better."   [...WHAT!?]   >Dadddyyyy!   'Your father is right, you can probably do better than him. A fling is one thing, but think long term.'   [EXCUSE ME!?]   >You guys always do this!   "What is your point?"   [NOW WAIT A MINUTE-]   'He doesn't even look like he's all that impressive size wise.'   [WHAT!?]   >He is so! He's easily this big!   [PINKIEWHAT-]   "He just doesn't look like husband material."   [I'M MARRIED ALREADY!]   'See? He's not even versed in laws enough to know Polygamy is legal. You need someone with some business sense in their head.'   [I RUN AN ENTIRE EMPIRE!]   "It can't be that impressive, I've never heard of it."   [HOW CAN YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF-]   >Daddy come on! Don't be like that! He might not know a lot about rocks, but he knows lots about crystals!   "A part of me feared you would go for the twinklers."   'Weak family line, those ones.'   [...]   >Shiny, you okay-   [Oh sweet Celestia you're messing with me.]   "...Huh."   'First one to see though our deadpan, actually.'   "...Yep, he's a keeper, tell me when the marriage is on."   [Ah hah, ah hah, Pinkie, you didn't tell me your folks had your sense of humor.]   >...That last part wasn't them joking...   [...Huh.] _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   CANON DEBATABLE   The casual muzak of the elevator played in the back of Pennydrop's mind as she descended to the very depths of the Fawtaine Futuristics R&D headquarters. Situated outside of Las Pegasus, the building wouldn't have been out of place in the city's signature skyline, but of course it wasn't the many floors above that interested her, that was where doctors and scientists fresh out of whichever universities they'd been recruited from were working on new designs for their poorhouses, theorizing the possible income from private orphanages, and coming up with peppy names for mundane products.   Down here, down beneath the earth, this was where the magic happened.   'Ding~!'   The elevator doors opened to a catwalk, overlooking an expansive floor where the best researchers money could buy were hard at work at as many wild and different projects as there were stars in the sky. The sounds of machines whirring, steam hissing, and the cries of some rare and most assuredly valuable creature met her ears. All of it translated to a single sound in her mind: Cha-ching.   Waiting for her were two stallions, one grinning, one frowning. One clad in an expernsive suit, the other a labcoat. One an almost obscenely yellow earth pony, the other a light grey unicorn. One's eyes were alive with the distinct glow of someone always primed and ready to find an angle they could exploit, the other's were hidden behind the glare of thick glasses.   Good old Marketing and R&D.   "Miss Pennydrop, glad you could join us," The Earth Pony said, the smile never leaving his face, "We hate to take you away from the 'Applied Artificial Magic' project, I hope you're finding my boys' work satisfactory, though."   "I'll find it more satisfactory when they can settle on a name for the stuff, Mr. Berneighs" Pennydrop stepped forward, nodding to the unicorn, "Doctor, glad to finally have you in the fold, you came highly reccommended."   "And with a great degree of risk," The unicorn said stoically, "I did not take your men seriously when they said they could smuggle me back into the country undetected from Morrocolt, yet here I am."   "The Doc here's been a real Faustsend," Berneighs said, sidling up to Pennydrop, "Real out of the box thinker, though his requests have been somewhat...expensive."   "Spend money to make money, Eddie," Pennydrop replied, walking down the catwalk, "If the Doctor's experiments are half as profitable as they claimed to be on paper, we'll have more money than the royal treasuries of the Empire and Equestria combined in a matter of years. Now, gentlecolts, if we can begin the tour?"   "Yes, of course," The Doctor smirked, "Please follow me, we shall start with our mechanized projects."   The trio descended into the bowels of R&D, walking past rooms of researchers and engineers going over schematics and complex equations on blackboards, debating and theorizing out of the range of Pennydrop's hearing. Soon they came upon a larger open room, the Doctor leading them onto a rising observation deck, signalling to a group of engineer and scientists to prepare for a demonstration. Klaxons blared as panels in the flooring slid away and platforms containing three robots modeled after a Pegasus, an Earth Pony, and a Gryphon, their chasis were covered by a smooth white armor, their eyes glowing a light blue, with the pegasus and gryphon models' wings having turbines strapped onto the undersides.   "As you can see, we have eclipsed the models deployed by the Blueblood Insurrection in terms of aesthetics if nothing else," Mr. Berneighs said with a grin, "I mean, the rustic peddler look might impress a few local yokels, but we're going for a look that really screams utility."   "Aesthetics only go so far, Eddie, can these models back up those screams?" Pennydrop looked to the Doctor, responded by retrieving a small radio from his coat.   "Engage aerial demonstrations for the Pegasus and Gryphon models," He muttered into it.   On cue, the two robots on the end had their turbines roar to life and after a running start took off, twisting and turning and maneuvering around the room in a mock dogfight.   "Of course it goes without saying that we are not yet capable of completely copying the maneuverability of pegasi and gryphons, though we have made contingencies for that. Fully outfitted, these models have the potential to be outfitted with far more armaments than mere mortal soldiers can," The Doctor nodded as the two robots concluded the demonstration, "These robots-"   "Ahem," Mr. Berneighs coughed politely, "Don't use the 'r' word, Johann, we talked about this."   "What 'r' word? Robots?" Pennydrop arched an eyebrow.   "Market testing has revealed the scars of the Robot Invasion are still quite prevalant," Mr. Berneighs elaborated, "We've been kicking around the terms 'Droids' or 'Automatons'."   "Foolishness," The Doctor muttered, "Might as well insist on calling a rock that hit you a 'stone' instead."   "Doctor's got a point, Eddie, people are going to call them Robots no matter what label we give them," Pennydrop's gaze fell to the Earth Pony, "Alright, what's the bog standard one got up its sleeve?"   "Ah, well, what the ground troop model lacks in aerial superiority, it makes up for in a variety of specifications, for instance we have gotten its internals to run at near silence, reducing the noise it makes in movement to almost solely the impact of hoof to ground. While the other two models are more lightly armored in order to necessitate flight, this one can be whatever is needed at the time of its manufacture, light for reconaissance to heavy for intense engagements. Then of course, what room is not taken for the flight modules-"   As if given an unseen signal, the earth pony bot's sides opened up to produce two missile pods on either side, receding back inside as the robot raised one foreleg, the hoof retracting to reveal the barrel of a gun, and finally returning that appendage to normal as it raised its other foreleg that in short order shifted into a long blade.   "-it can make up for in weapon emplacements."   Pennydrop whistled lowly, "Interesting. I assume the Gryphon model is for a specific clientele?"   Mr. Berneighs nodded, "It's a sad fact that native Gryphons have a predjudice about fighting alongside ponies, even the complimentary instructors we sent there with our latest weapons shipments had trouble getting over this innate hatred."   "Are the Gryphons interested in fielding robots?" Pennydrop questioned, "I don't want some 'honorable warrior' line putting us in a deficit."   "Some more traditionalist camps may oppose us, but the King's on a militarization kick, so we may be able to take advantage of that," Berneighs flashed a smile, the smile of a shark that's tasted blood.   "Interesting," She looked over to the Doctor, "Anything else?"   "Nothing that has gone past the drawing board, I'm afraid," The Doctor frowned, "We have projects into models based on and copying behaviors from the animal kingdom. Let us just say several of my engineers are excited over the proposals for an Ogre-based design."   Pennydrop quirked a smile, "In good time, Doctor, in good time. One more thing before we move on though."   "Yes?"   "You received the schematics we retrieved from the Appleloosa wreck when you got here, have you had a chance to look over them?"   The Doctor nodded, "You mean the idle scribblings of that hobbyist in Canterlot? Yes, indeed I have looked them over."   "Tell me...could you duplicate the process on a dragon?" Pennydrop asked as the observation deck descended down to ground level.   "Duplicate? Ha, I could improve them by a margin of fifty-two point nine percent...a solid sixty-five is...comfort is taken out of the equation," The Doctor did not smile, but she could hear the gears turning in his head.   "Dear Doctor, comfort was never in there to begin with," Pennydrop, for her part, did smile.   "Excellent, I shall begin drawing up plans the moment you depart. Now, if that is all, please follow me, our next destination is the biological research department."   With that, the Doctor turned and began leading the way into another corridor, Pennydrop coming second, Berneighs following third.   "Great, wait 'til you get a load of Dr. Frankenstallion's personal zoo," The earth pony muttered, a slight shiver running down his spine.   Pennydrop didn't heed his apprehension, if it helped her bottomline, she'd look a demon square in the eye. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Pinkie "Igneous" 'Cloudy Quartz' [SA] ~~~~~~~   >C'mon daddy, don't give him such a hard time! Two's got enough mommys anyway!   "Two?"   From his pack, an absolutely massive wallet floated upward and opened up, revealing tons upon tons of pictures within of Two playing, swimming, family pictures, eating ice cream and one with her stuck to the wall via caramel.   [Applejack Two, my daughter. Yes, before you ask, adoptive.]   "...Eh."   [... I beg your pardon?]   "She looks like quite the unseemly little-"   *CRACK*   >SHINY HOLY SHIT! YOU JUST PUNCHED OUT MY DAD!   [I have very little regre-]   *SHORYUKEN!*   *SHOOOOooooo.... CRASH!*   >DADDY WHY!?   'Dear, you know better than to use the Pie strength on the normals.'   "I stand by what I said, she is a very homely looking..."   >...You shouldn't have thrown him into the mountain.   [WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?]   >...It's just giving him ammo.   '...I like him.'   *MOUNTAIN TOSS!*   "...Hm, I suppose I do too."   *MOUNTAIN CRUSH!*   "Thank you, dear."   'Anytime.'   >SHINY HE WAS JUST TESTING YOU!   [NOT FUNNY! You don't go at someone's little girl like that!]   "...Sorry."   >HOLY SHIT HE SAID SORRY! Maud is going to slightly widen her eyes and possibly even twitch her lips!   'She won't react that hard... but your sisters are going to flip their lid and explode.'   "Can I see more pictures? She's actually really cute."   [...Yes.] _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   "42" 'Various Guards' -???- ~???~   ---   "C'mon! Up! Now!"   'Uuuugh, it's like... 4am...'   'Why you wakin' us so early...'   '...*snrk*...'   "GET UP!"   'Up! I'm up!'   'Don't hit me!'   "You've all been slacking in my absence! I don't like that! All you that have trained under me, get outside and do exercises 10 through 50! GO! All newbies that don't know me, there, in the corner. Move."   The room promptly bursts into activity until the only ones left are 42 and two scared guards.   "You! Name?"   -S-steam Gauge, Ma'am!-   "You!?"   ~I... Q-quicksilver Sash, Ma'am!~   "Alright, so nobody I should care about?"   -~No Ma'am!~-   "Good. You two missed what I ran those tin-heads through, so I'm gonna run you through them, and you'd better of learnt all the exercises by the end of the week! No one, no even newbies, are sloppy in Celestia's army!"   -~No Ma'am!~-   "Newbie one, be a good boy and fetch the training mats."   -R-right away!-   "Newbie two, be a good girl, and grab the target ponies."   ~I-I'm not a gir--~   "MOOOVE!"   ~Y-yes, Ma'am!~   "Ugh... bloody newbies. Time to get my train on." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   nc addition   >Pinkie “Shining” _______   >Holy pie rollie, Shiny… I didn’t know you had so many pictures of Two! I lost count at four-thousand something….   “Um, that’s… that’s actually wallet number eight.”   >…   “Of 27.”   >…   “Yeah.”   >So… you have wallets, separate wallets at that, devoted to pictures of Two?   “Have you ever seen my daughter? She’s pretty adorable, and well worth the eleven cameras I went through taking those photos.   >But 27 wallets….   “Yeah, those are the mainstay wallets, the ones with my cards in them, too. I also carry a secondary wallet, one that I use solely to shuffle recent pics in and out of.”   >…   “You can never have too much cute nearby.”   >Uh-huh. Okie… dokie lokie….   "...did you see this one yet? Her in the water-wings?"   >Cuuuuuuuute!   "I KNOW RIGHT?" _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   "42" [Shining] 'Various Canterlot Guards' *Various Crystal Guards* -Steam Gauge- ~Quicksilver Sash~   ---   "Alright! This was a good idea."   [It was. Good work, really.]   "Y-yeah, all me. I'm... so good. I... y-you too."   [Your nose is bleeding, here, let me-]   "N-no!! You'll maab eet wurb!"   'Ma'am! Quickly, have this medical bandage!'   *And here, some water.*   "...Rearey goob idea."   [Keep pressure on it, alright? Don't hurt yourself too much.]   "GGGGGKKK! Mabbin' eet wuuurrb!!"   [...] '...' *...*   [So, sergeants, how are your men doing?]   'Brilliantly, this joint force training does wonders for morale.'   *Indeed, the amount of new recruits that have increased their track scores is excellent.*   "U-ugh... stopped it... Darn. But yeah, they're all doing really well."   -N-no!! WAIT!! I'm gonna drop it!-   ~Ahh! Hold it! No, the other side! AHH--~   *~Crash~*   "...Those two are making slow progress though..."   *I noticed that. Odd lot, you Canties.*   'Not every recruit does well within their first week.'   [Should of seen me before 42 got me off my non-muscled butt and turned it toned. Just look at these muscles!]   "GGGGKK!! ~Bloodspurt~ Yur doin' dat ob bubose!"   [...Maybe.]   *...* '...'   [I shall tend to the recruits.]   "Ah''ll be watdin'..."   '...Have another bandage, that ones so red it matches my mane.'   "Dank'oo." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________