Title:           Thread 21: Stories 61-75
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/0jyz4RQ7
First Edit:      Friday 6th of June 2014 06:38:20 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 6th of June 2014 06:38:20 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chitania
"Chitania's mom"
~~~~~~
 
"LIFT!"
 
>HRRK!
 
"LIIIIFT!"
 
>HRRK!
 
"IF YOU DON'T REDISTRIBUTE THAT WEIGHT, THAT HILL IS GOING TO COLLAPSE! DO YOU WANT IT TO COLLAPSE!?"
 
>N-no...
 
"NO!? YOU DON'T WANT SEVERAL TONS OF STONE AND DIRT COLLAPSING ON YOU!? YOU SURE!?"
 
>I'm... sure...
 
"THEN WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO!?"
 
>S-s-stop fucking up?
 
"WELL SWEET TASTY LOVE ALL COVERED IN GREENSPIT, SHE'S ONLY AS STUPID AS SHE LOOKS! NOW IS SHE GOING TO PROVE IS OR IS SHE GOING TO KEEP FUCKING UP!?"
 
>N-no...HRRK...M-..
 
"M-WHAT!?"
 
>M-my Queen.
 
"WELL HOLY SHIT, YOU WOULD ALMOST SWEAR SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET EATEN!"
 
>I don't...
 
"THEN YOU BETTER START WALKING!"
 
>W-walking!?
 
"I'M SORRY, WAS I TOO QUIET!? I CAN SCREAM LOUDER IF I WASN'T CLEAR! WALK YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU ARE GOING TO PUT THAT HILL ON YOUR BACK, AND YOU ARE GOING TO WALK! CLEARER!?"
 
>...Yes... Clearer.
 
"THEN START!"
 
Farther back, dozens of jaws dropped as the drones watched an entire hilltop, easily big enough to hold over fifty of them, start to move as if it had become alive. It moved at a glacial pace, but there was no denying it was moving.
 
"...Hrmph... Still couldn't beat me... yet."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
~~~
The entire landscape had become barren and devastated by their battle, more than half of the hive had been slaughtered by its own princess when its queen would command them to delay her own daughter just a second longer. In the end, it did no good.
 
"SAY IT! SAY IT YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Chitania screamed as she smashed her own mother's face into the remains of a cliff.
 
The Queen in question would not stop smiling, even without any of her teeth left, with half of her skull caved in and the lower half of herself splattered somewhere on the battlefield, she was still a terrifying sight to behold.
 
"Say what? That you hit like a little bitch?" The queen tauned and earned more gravel embedded into her face and remaining eye.
 
Chitania snarled, her own condition just slightly better than her mothers. "FUCK YOU!" Despite her rage, she was crying. "FUCK YOU AND DIE!"
 
The queen manage to turn herself around and spit in Chitania's face. "Fine, I'll say it: you're a bitch, a whore, a disappointment, I wish I had never laid you, you're weak, you're pathetic." With the remains of her upperhalf she whispered. "Oh, and he didn't really love you either, you know. You were just part of his sick fetishes."
 
Chitania now screamed in rage and pulled her mother's head from the remains of her torso. "Fuck it! Love me or not, I'm taking this!" She reached into the stump and pulled out the Queens heart. She devoured almost all of it right in front of her mother's severed (and still living head). Almost all except for a piece she spat into her mother's face.
 
"I don't need to ascend, I don't need your love, or your approval. I HAVE NEVER NEEDED YOU FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN INCUBATION!" Chiatania snarled.
 
The queen let out a wheezing, weak laugh, and best as she could with only half her vocal chords and without lungs she told her daughter: "I feel the same"
 
The queen struggled to continue speaking, and her daughter sneered, pulling the disembodied head up by the hair.
 
"What? What the fuck else have you got to say that I haven't heard a million times already? I'm weak, huh? funny thing to say when you tried to hide behind your fucking goons, funny thing to say when you're in three pieces and I am one, funny thing to say when your heart is churning in my guy right now, and soon, I'm gonna shit it all over your corpse."
 
She didn't see her mother's horn glow brighter and brighter until it was too late. "I'll love you if you actually survive this."
 
What had once been a lush forest, turned barren by a battlefield then became a toxic, irradiated wasteland as baleful flames consumed everything for miles.
 
But from those flames, that magical radiation, the hive's new queen rose to the sky and howled in triumphant rage.
 
The reign of Queen Chitania had come at last.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
"77"
'Cheerlie'
[Applejack]
(Pinkie)
~~~
>Fuuuuuuck, it's boring in here between the fanfic updates.
 
[Ya'll aren' obligated ta be here.]
 
>On the contrary, I am!
 
[Ah wouldn' let 77 go down there.]
 
"That... Really isn't necessary. Cheerlie gives me plenty of motivation as it stands."
 
'Oh, you!'
 
>Still feel obligated.
 
(KABOOSHM!)
 
>Hey, you're stealing my gig!
 
(I heard you all were getting super duper bored! So I brought something to help pass the time!)
 
>Movies?
 
'Books?'
 
"Stories?"
 
[Apples?]
 
everyone stares
 
[Ah... Ah just feel weird not havin' said that in so long.]
 
(Nooope, good guess, but I brought... BOOZE!)
 
>Fuck yes! you are now my favorite pony!
 
'On a scale of one to ten, how interesting might this be?'
 
"I'd say a seven out of ten."
 
[Where ya'll get that?]
 
(I raided Shiny's secret caches!)
 
>YOU ARE GOD TIER PONY!
 
"Make that ten out of ten."
 
'Think it might go up to eleven if we join in.'
 
"Assuming her majesty doesn't drink it all first."
 
'well then, bottom's up!'
 
[Ah know this will end badly, but Ah'm gonna do it anyway.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Tickles
"Rekulk"
~~~~~
 
>HAHAHA! I HAVE THEM NOW! Smushed like bugs, like bugs! Then I'll cannibalize them! AHAH!
 
"GREAT FIREDEMON IN THE SKY!"
 
>Yesssss!
 
"...This webbing holds many a shine stone! So many many! They are worth many a trade! Fortune smiles upon Rekulk, yes it does! Many many trade in the future for me!"
 
>CRAP!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"???"
~~~
 
>Ohhh, I'm walkin' on sunshine, ooooohoh! And don't it feel goo-
 
He joyous trot in the hallway came to a sudden and unexpected end. He couldn't fully process why, but he suddenly felt... a pull. An almost alien force gripping him like giant, ghostly fingers.
 
And then, slowly, he began to slide. Back... back... further back... and off he went.
 
>OH FUCK WHYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyy.....
 
The crash was deafening, but brief.
 
"Ohhhhh hey, Shinney! Jus' sha' guy uh wanned ta'-BLAAAAARG!"
 
>WHYYYY!?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Dagnabbit dag dammit... it's s'posed to go... ergh!
 
"Oh Applejack, what're y-- oh my god, WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
 
>Celestia, you mind explainin' this magic thing one more time? I get that it's all in the concentration, but...
 
"The orange trees..."
 
>Right, that's kinda why I'm askin'--
 
"The pear trees!"
 
>I get it, I'm a little new to th' whole magic thing--
 
"Applejack, the blueberry bushes! The blackberry bushes! The melons! For Mother's sake, Applejack, even the potatoes?!"
 
>Look, would y'just--
 
"Fix it! Fix it now!"
 
>That's what Ah've been tryin' to do!
 
"You just think about what you want to transform it into, it's not that hard! Just don't think about apples!"
 
>That's what everypony keeps tellin' me, and Ah can't! Ev'ry time I try, I just keep thinkin' "don't think 'bout apples, don't think 'bout apples", and what do Ah wind up thinkin' about? Apples!
 
"Don't... just... I'll get Twilight to fix this. Don't. Magic. Anything."
 
>...y'mean right now, or--
 
"ANYTHING."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Celesita
"Applejack"
' Changelings '
~~~~
 
>Just... just explain to me what you were thinking, go ahead, I'll wait.
 
"...Ah'.... Ah' wanted ta' try movin' the clouds."
 
>Okay, piece one of this puzzle has fallen into place, please, continue.
 
"Ta' make it rain..."
 
>Good so far.
 
"...But, well... Ah' think Ah' underestimated just how much water those dang things can hold, so..."
 
>So you flooded the castle.
 
"Not the whole dang castle!... just mostly, uh..."
 
'ROW! ROW YOU LILLY LIVERED SONS OF GUTTERGRUBS! ROW FOR YOUR LIVES!'
 
'You could help!'
 
'MY MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH IS WORTH A DOZEN ROWERS, THANK YOU!'
 
>The ballroom?
 
"Mostly there, yes."
 
'ROOOOOOWWWW!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Gwendolyn
“Guard One”
‘Guard Two”
 
‘Hey, check this out. The Queen got a letter today.’
 
“And? You’re telling me this like I’m a) supposed to care or b) supposed to be surprised. She’s gets letters all the time. Know why? Because she’s the queen. That’s going to happen. A lot.”
 
‘With that attitude, you’ll most certainly win ‘asshole of the year’ again, Gideon.’
 
“It’s a title I aim to keep, especially when accosted with such time-wasting information.”
 
‘Let’s see if you find this ‘time-wasting’ then. It’s from Canterlot.’
 
“Because I’ve never been there nor know what happened to it, the same happening that effected us and damn near all of Equestria.”
 
‘More specifically, from the office of one Princess Applejack Apple.’
 
“It’s gryphons like you that make winning ‘asshole of the year’ a cakewalk, I swear.”
 
‘Written by an Applejack 56.’
 
“…”
 
‘You know, that’s about the most expression I think I’ve ever seen on your face, Gid. And you just barely widened your eyes. Your emotional ranges could seriously use some w-’
 
“Destroy it.”
 
‘Come again?’
 
“Deaf now? I said destroy it.”
 
‘No, I heard you, I’m just wondering what suddenly made you want to give up on living. Destroying a piece of the Queen’s mail? Before she can read it? You must really not have an interest in life.’
 
“You have five seconds to give me that letter, grunt.”
 
‘I’m hardly a grunt, Gid, you've really got to get off yourself and realize that. And you’re less than a rank above me, barely an inch really. We BOTH guard the Queen’s quarters and protect her-’
 
“Three seconds.”
 
‘Give me one good reason why I should follow you into suicide. It won’t change my mind worth a shit but I want to hear your logic.’
 
“If you have even the slightest inkling of who Applejack 56 is, you’ll realize the danger he poses to not only the Queen, but us as well.”
 
‘It’s a Changeling. A little male Changeling if this crude drawing of himself in the corner here is anything to go by….’
 
“Exactly. And Changelings are what? Sentient bugs. All of them. They don’t make insecticides strong enough for this infestation.”
 
‘Coming from anyone else I might’ve found that statement I bit harsh, but from you? That’s a pretty touching complement.’
 
“I’d complement whoever managed to wipe them off the face of Equestria. Even if the ponies are a weak race led and supported solely by magic, I thought them smarter than this. Allowing what tore asunder their homes and families to live? And just to spare ONE OF THE SAME SPECIES the sight of murder? They crave destruction.”
 
‘To be fair, it was Shining Armor’s daughter.’
 
“If you even fix your beak to give me that clichéd ‘father’s love trumps logic’ line, I will vomit and then make you eat it.”
 
‘Gross much? Besides, I don’t think you have the status to actually-’
 
“Our Queen likes one of those things. Understand that, grunt. She LIKES the one who wrote that letter, who is a Changeling, part of a race best known for slitting your throat while disguised as your own mother. Why does this strike no one else but me as highly detrimental?”
 
‘Because you’re the only fool here dumb enough to question the Queen and her potential love life?’
 
“I’m questioning how she’s reduced to a blushing, barely coherent fowl at the mere mention of this Applejack 56.”
 
‘I know you’re pretty upset that no one came to your birthday party last week but you can’t blame an entire race for the acts of a few, Gid. That goes beyond intolerant and straight into racist territory.’
 
“Right. Because they have such a righteously decorated history, don’t they? They have legions of well-meaning Changelings just scattered about, assisting and caring and not sucking things of their love until they’re a dried out, lifeless husk, right?”
 
‘Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t have eyes on every single Changeling out there so I can’t answer with certainty on that one.’
 
“Give me the letter, grunt.”
 
‘No. You’re going to have to rip my arms off, Gideon.’
 
“And here I was thinking you’d give me a tough choice.”
 
The door before which they stood suddenly opened and a very annoyed Gwendolyn filled the archway, staring down at her two subordinates.
 
>So. All that yammering? Yeah, I’m going to politely ask you to cut that shit out before I de-beak the both of you. …What’s that you’ve got there, Gabe?
 
‘A letter, your majesty.’
 
>From whom?
 
“Nobody, my Queen. We were just going to-”
 
‘Applejack 56.’
 
When Gwen’s face shifted, it was like watching a sink packed to the brim with grimy sludge get its plug pulled and then refilled again with clean, sparkling water. It was a momentous look that caused Gabe to grin and Gideon to scowl.
 
>56? Why didn’t you come get me sooner? Give me that!
 
And she promptly snatched it, the envelope reduced to shreds in a blink.
 
>…he… he says he misses me and wishes I’d come by to visit! Eeee- I-I mean, uh, thank you, Gabe, Gideon, for delivering this me. I’ll just be in my office, again. Urm, back to… whatever it was you were doing.
 
The door slammed and that elated screech she’d cut short came out in full effect.
 
‘Tell me that doesn’t just make your heart sing?’
 
“It doesn’t. It makes my insides curdle.”
 
‘I think that’s more because of the sour milk you drank at lunch.’
 
“One more smartass remark, Gabe….”
 
‘Okay. You want serious? Then let’s get serious. With everything our Queen has to go through running this Kingdom, by herself mind you, don’t you think she deserves this little bastion of unexpected happiness?’
 
“I do. I believe with all my heart and valor that my majesty deserves all the happiness in the world, and then some. I… just wish it would come without pressing a blade to her throat….”
 
'That's what we're here for, isn't it? To protect and serve. And so we will.'
 
"To protect... and serve... Of course...."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
"Blueblood"
'Rarity'
~Rekulk~
~~~~~
 
They were cold.
 
They were tired.
 
They were dirty and worn.
 
But for the first time in what felt like forever, they were excited.
 
~My friends! We're here! We're here!~
 
>Are you sure!?
 
~Yes yes! Very sure! Around this corner and into this hole is what we seek, I am sure!~
 
"Oh thank goodness."
 
Deftly, he reloads his rifle, and stands ready.
 
"I've had quite enough of this place, thank you."
 
'Oh my, it will be so nice to get back home.'
 
~Yes yes! This is place! The creatures you seek are within that cavern!~
 
>Thank goodness. Rarity, would you mind throwing up a shield? I don't want to take any chances.
 
'Oh, sure. But my shield magic is quite weak, I'm afraid. I doubt I'd be able to handle a stern blow from even Rainbow Dash at my best.'
 
>It's just a precaution.
 
"How droll. We really should have brought my cousin in law down with us, he wouldn't disappoint."
 
'Yes, we surely did pick the wrong white unicorn to come down with us, did we not? The one that came with us is so... useless.'
 
>Enough, let's just close in tight, weapons ready, and lets be prepared for anything.
 
So they did, either magic user hugging the sides of the dragon, and the morlock hanging back to prevent any attack from behind They were ready for anything.
 
Yet strangely, something as small as a little TINK! clashing against the shield proved to them that they were wrong.
 
>...Oh shit.
 
Thousands upon thousands of eyes lit up the cavern, all of them pointing straight at the group, hungry clicking noises ringing out from unseen fangs.
 
~Yes yes! We are here! The creatures of eight legs and many dangers we have sought! This is them, right?~
 
Shaking, Spike flicked Charity in mutliple directions, training in on any of the masses who moved.
 
>No, these aren't what was coming up...
 
He swallowed a lump of bile, and his eyes trailed down to the tiny barb sitting alone on the ground.
 
>These are the things that ate 77's friend... from the inside.
 
The dozens of massive, hungry spiders clawed along the walls, black, furred bodies ready and waiting to strike.
 
Yet strangely, they did not move to engage them.
 
"W-what are they waiting for!?"
 
>I don't know...
 
As if he had swallowed a lump of his own flame, his eyes grew hot and intense.
 
>But it doesn't matter.
 
He did not need to look as he reached into his rucksack, knowing exactly where the thing he sought out was going to be. With an almost feral grin, he lifted a device before him, and began fiddling with the settings.
 
>This one's for 68 you-
 
'Wait.'
 
If it had been anyone else, he probably would have snapped at them. But for her...
 
'Look...'
 
It was a bit hazy still, but he complied. Truth be told, he didn't know what he was supposed to be looking for. They weren't doing anything...
 
>They're not attacking...
 
~Ah, no, friend Spike. Their attack did not work, and they are weary of our firesticks. They would like to trap us, not attack us, like-~
 
“Like animals.”
 
A deathly silence spread between the group, broken only by the curious skitters and clacking of the massive creatures, and the occasional *tink* of something hitting the shield as others tested their own attacks.
 
>They're just... just animals.
 
~Of course they are, Green Spines! What else would they be?~
 
The device in his claw suddenly felt very... very heavy. It was filled with all sorts of wires and vials, something Twilight assured him would cause the necessary 'cleaning' without any risk of a cave collapse. It was a very complicated device that had taken her days of careful work and designing to create, and was itself the cumulative effort resulting of generations of ponies working with explosives and mechanics. The perfect blend of effectiveness and safety.
 
And he was going to use this marvel of science to kill a bunch of spiders.
 
It didn't feel fair.
 
>Rekulk... do they... do these things ever leave this place?
 
~Oh no, friend Spike! They are weaker than the skinless sloth, and the red ooze can catch them and eat them quite easily! They spear with their children or attack those that fall into traps, they do not hunt. Much safer to spear from a distance or bite those that cannot move, yes!~
 
He warred with himself after that. A part of him, a big part, still wanted to chuck that bomb right into their fray and hightail it out of there amidst the smell of burning arachnid. The other part, the smaller one... found that cowardly and petty. One look was all he needed to know that these things could not process remorse, or understand vengeance. They knew 'eat' 'hurt' 'fear' 'reproduce'. That was all. But damn, would it feel good to get back at those things for what they did to 77's friend...
 
Slowly, his arm cocked back.
 
'Spike?'
 
And hit the bomb against the wall, breaking it's detonator and rendering it useless.
 
None of them said anything as he started to back up, gun still trained on the creatures and ready to open fire the moment one of them twitched.
 
>Let's just... let's just go. There's nothing for us here.
 
Blueblood just couldn't keep his annoyed puff of breath to himself.
 
“We could have still used that thing.”
 
>Blueblood, if I didn't do that...
 
The spiders did not even try to follow as they exited the mouth of the cavern.
 
>...I would have used it.
 
A pair of white forelegs drew him in close, letting him lean into her as he collected himself.
 
~So... was that not what you seek?~
 
>...No, Rekulk, they weren't what we were looking for. Thank you anyway, and I won't blame you if you want to leave after that.
 
~Leave? Never a chance! Rekulk agreed to trade, yes? Then trade must be done all through, or Rekulk only deserve part of trade himself, and would bring shame of small trade home! Till the end, Spike of Purple Scales, till the end!~
 
'...Rekulk, darling, is there any other creature down here like them?'
 
~Oh yes, many many other legged creatures, but not many black, no, so we not look for many! Come, come! We go to next one, maybe luck shines upon us there!~
 
>Wait...
 
Slowly, he broke away from Rarity's embrace, and walked to the edge of the cavern. He inhaled as deeply as his could, and unleashed a powerful burst of flame. The others watched as he kept it up for far beyond what they thought possible, and only after he nearly turned blue did he stop. The moment the red hot stone cooled, they understood.
 
WARNING
DANGER
 
'...Really, darling, if you're planning to do that, we're not going to make it more than a hundred yards before you asphyxiate.'
 
>No...
 
Slowly, his claw traced the ground. Nothing left of the Changelings that had once run through here, but something on that ground let him know their presence remained.
 
>...That one was for a friend. A friend I know... and never got to meet
 
He slung his rucksack back over his shoulder, and soldiered on.
 
>Come on, Rekulk, show us the way.
 
~Yes yes, scaled one! This way this way, be careful! Many dangers far bigger and scarier than those, far far more dangerous!~
 
>You know...
 
He spun Charity just for fun... and then blew the head off a bold red-eyed, pitch black worm who had decided to try sneaking up behind him.
 
>I think it's not me who has to be worried about them.
 
Together, they soldiered further into the darkness. Unsure of what they would find...
 
And ready to blow it's head off when it came.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
"Blueblood"
'Rarity'
~Rekulk~
~~~~
 
>What are you doing?
 
"Investigating, of course."
 
'What?'
 
"Oh dear, I did not realize your vocabulary was so limited! It means to-"
 
>Blueblood.
 
"...I grabbed a chunk of webbing from those spiders."
 
>And?
 
"And... well, look at this strip we found on the walls. The one that sort of looks like a hat."
 
>...They don't really look all that similar.
 
"Right? That's the weird thing. The ones with the creatures were all tough, sticky and very edgy. More globing fluid than anything. But this is so silky smooth, and doesn't have the least bit of cling to it. It's more silk that stick."
 
>...That is weird. Why would a spider creature want something that wasn't sticky?
 
'Maybe it isn't actually a spider?'
 
>No, it definitely looked like a spider... maybe this type of webbing is used for something else?
 
'Like what?'
 
>...It could be poisonous...
 
Wearily, Blueblood placed the thing on the ground, eyeballing it.
 
"...Should we test it?"
 
~Gladly friend!~
 
And then he shoved the entire thing into his mouth.
 
'REKULK! DEAR LORD!'
 
>DUDE WHAT!?
 
~...Ptoo! Good news! Is not poisonous!~
 
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?"
 
~How else am I to know?~
 
>Okay, new rule, no more of that! None of it!
 
~...Very well, I am sorry.~
 
>Good... but if it's not poisonous...
 
'...what is it?'
 
>...Gather as much as this as you can. Twilight is going to have a field day.
 
'Dear, she...'
 
>Just needs a kick in the flank, that's what she needs!
 
He was too chipper, she just couldn't bring herself to argue with him. So, reluctantly, she added that to the growing pile in her bags, and off they went.
 
Completely ignorant of the fuming creature not far from thing, angrily stamping her spindly legs that her 'super-noose' trap had failed.
 
But ooohh, she'd get them next time.
 
NEXT TIME!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Celestia"
~~~~
 
He had entered this bedoom intending to ask Celestia a simple question. He did not expect to find her on her bed, completely surrounded.
 
>What are you doing?
 
"HUSH! SHUT THE DOOR QUICKLY! NONE MUST SEE!"
 
>See... cake?
 
"SHUT!"
 
>Alright, alright.... think you're acting crazier than usual, though.
 
"The two biggest concerns I have for my cake are sealed away in the bathroom, now is my chance!"
 
>To gorge yourself stupid.
 
"Until the diabetes claims my very soul!"
 
>...Heh.
 
"What?"
 
>Nothing, nothing... just remembering when I used to have to carry this stuff up to you. Fantastic use of resources.
 
"Pfft, not like I had anything else for you to do."
 
>Guess not. Peacetime is funny like that.
 
"...Do you want some?"
 
>You, offering someone else some of your beloved cake? I thought I'd never see the day! Years of service, and it never came up.
 
"I'd have shared if you asked..."
 
>Yeah, I know. But I'd never ask.
 
"Why not? It wasn't that big of a deal."
 
>Mmm, you know.
 
He hopped up on the bed, sitting in one of the few spots not covered with pastries.
 
>This stuff seemed to make you feel better. I couldn't possibly get in the way of that.
 
"...I-it wasn't all bad."
 
>Nope. You had fun... WE had fun... even if you did run yourself ragged trying to run this whole operation all by yourself.
 
"It's something I have to do. I couldn't give up, no matter how tedious it got..."
 
>Why?
 
"...Because if there was ever a chance even one pony might be left behind, or hurt, or put in danger because I decided to run, I'd never forgive myself. My happiness isn't worth a single life, no matter who they might be. I may not have put my best hoof forward... but I'd never pull them all back either."
 
>...Pfft, and you wonder why I keep worrying about you. You deserve to be happy, Celly.
 
"...I am happy. I don't realize it all the time, but... I am. And you..."
 
A piece of cake splatted against the side of his face.
 
"...Are picking up bad habits from that beetle. No more 'pfft'ing at me."
 
>As a foreign emissary in this land...
 
Her white fur was stained blue as a wad of cake crashed into her face.
 
>...I cannot allow a hostile act to go unreciprocated!
 
"War, then!? So be it!"
 
>If it must come to this, than I shall not falter! Crystal Empire Strong!
 
Magical grips took hold of every bit of sugary sweet they could grab, and lifted them into the air.
 
"We both knew it was going to end like this."
 
>Me getting killed under a mountain of cake?... Actually, yeah, this seemed pretty plausible.
 
"HAVE AT THEE!"
 
>THE TASTE OF WAR IS SWEET!
 
The room became a colorful mishmash of flickering food and elated giggles. The war of the cakes, as it would come to be known, claimed the life of two vases and a mirror in it's splattery and messy thrall.
 
And in the middle of the chaos, two once white ponies had the time of their lives, completely oblivious to their many responsibilities and weight upon their lives, if only for a brief respite. For a moment, nothing mattered.
 
...Such as the fact the cleaning staff was going to lose their shit when they saw what the room looked like.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Tickles
"Spike"
~~~~~
 
>It's foolproof.... it's foolproof! Nothing can go wrong this time! I have them! I have them! MWHAAHAHAHAHAH-
 
"Oh hey, a giant web net.... it's not very sticky, guys, we can just walk around... actually feels like it would make an amazing hammock... I'm taking this."
 
>-AHah....DRAT!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
{???}
~???~
~~~~
 
>...Fellow companions, does something about this feel... off?
 
"Now that you mention it, black catsuits are a particularly odd requirement for a scavenger hunt."
 
'As is the stipulation that the pony we are getting the required scavenger item from not know we are obtaining it from them.'
 
[If that alone was not a confusing enough sight, we also are required to do so at night?]
 
>And finally, a gigantic diamond sure is an odd thing to have in a scavenger hunt...
 
"..."
'...'
[...]
>...Oh sweet mother love we're robbing someone.
 
{NYEHEH HEH HEHHHH~! You've by played like fools! You've danced on my strings like the puppets you are!}
 
>NO!
 
'What's he saying?'
 
>You won't get away with this!
 
{Oh, but I already have! The alarm is shut off, and all I have to do is pluck the diamond and float off without a trace!}
 
>YOU FIEND!
 
"Seriously, Niney, we can't see or hear them."
 
>How could we have been the fool not to recognize such a foul one of youth such as yourself!
 
[Again he continues, oblivious to what we cannot see. I really have to ask, what do you mean WE?]
 
{You fool! The diamond is mine! At last, the greatest heist of my career, and I did it from beyond the grave! Now, all shall know of the greatness, of STEVEN STICKY HOOVES!}
 
>...Really?
 
"Yes. Really. I don't know what this really is, but really."
 
>So, wait, that's all you wanted?
 
{What!? Of course this is all I wanted! What more could I possibly want after this?}
 
>All done?
 
{My master plan is complete, yes. Why do you... uh oh.}
 
>SHIELD YOUR-
 
*FLASH!*
 
>...Oh hey! Nice work, Trixie!
 
'Fool Trixie once, shame on you. Do it so many times she has to go see a specialist every week... really shame on you, that's expensive.'
 
"...Well, all's well that ends well, eh gang?"
 
[...I do not wish to rob this moment of it's charm, but I think we hit the silent alarm.]
 
~FREEZE! WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED!~
 
>...
"..."
'...'
[...Shit.]
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>32
"Twilight"
 
>It's a world/where the dogs eat the dogs/where they kill for the bones in the street/and Faust in her heaven/she don't interfere/'coz she's dead as the stiffs at me feet~
 
"A tad macabre today, aren't we?"
 
>Les Mareserables, a classic, would prefer Master of the House? Most do.
 
"I'd rather a bit more information on the Morlocks, actually. Specifically a tad bit more on your experiences with them."
 
>For their mating habits, ask my dear neighbor when he returns from the cav-HAHAHAHAHA, oh...oh I could not say that with a straight face.
 
"Do I need to get Two in here?"
 
>No no, I'll be good, no need for more hugs.
 
"Good, so you said the Morlocks started to tolerate you around them, even stopped challenging you to those duels."
 
>Yes, though getting them to listen to me was a chore in the beginning. I had to browbeat them with my position, bear my fangs here and there.
 
"When did they start actually doing it?"
 
>Well that's a bit of a...personal story.
 
"In what way?"
 
>It involves me burying my comrades.
 
32's eyes are downcast.
 
"Wait, I thought you didn't have any of their bodies besides 50's."
 
>I didn't, so I went out into the tunnels and gathered stones, ten of them, and brought them back. The Morlocks didn't question me when I demanded one of their knives, though a few of them watched me as I carved my friends' names into all of them. I arrayed them in a semi circle at a far edge of the cavern, and dug a hole for 50's carapace. When it was over I turned to the five Morlocks that had watched me do the deed, and they asked me what I had done. I told them I had buried my siblings and my race, to my knowledge I was the last of my kind.
 
"What did they do?"
 
>They walked away, whispering amongst themselves. I realized later the five that approached me were the ones I had let live, I suppose I sparked some kind of curiosity when I did so, because they kept coming back and asking more questions.
 
"Interesting...was one of these guys named Rekulk?"
 
>Hm? Well yes, he proved to be a very loyal little fellow, not exactly as strong or clever as his fellows but had an earnestness I appreciated. Why do you bring him up?
 
"Because he's apparently been trading with us for months and is currently guiding Spike beneath the ground."
 
>Ah, and you wanted to allay concerns?
 
"Kind of...it's worrying, Spike has Rarity, Blueblood, and Rekluk-"
 
>Rekulk.
 
"Right, Rekulk down there with him but listening to 77..."
 
>It is a dangerous place, but Rekulk is crafty, as long as they have someone who knows what he's doing, they should be fine...provided, you know....they don't go too far down.
 
"It gets worse the farther you go down, huh?"
 
>One of the superstitions I couldn't cure the Morlocks of states that their gods are down there, lurking in the dark, waiting to snap up the foolish and bring ruin to any tribe that trespasses in their realm...it's...it's probably hogwash.
 
"I'll...keep that in mind, thanks for talking to me."
 
Twilight begins to walk away.
 
>Princess.
 
"Yes?"
 
>For what it's worth, I hope he makes it out alright. Spike is a nice fellow, for all his opposition to my opinions. Nobody deserves to die in those caverns, I should know.
 
"Thank you, 32."
 
>Though if Blueblood were to trip chin-first onto a stalagmite I'd lose very little sleep.
 
Twilight rolls her eyes and leaves the dungeon.
 
>...beggar at the feast/master of the dance/life is easy pickings/if you grab your chance...
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Theater pony
"Theater Pony 2"
{ Chitania }
~~~~
 
>Is she okay?
 
"She just keep staring at the screen with the most confused look ever on her face. Like she can't fully process what's going on."
 
>Right? It's almost like her brain is shorting out just watching at the screen.
 
"Should we... do something?"
 
>Are you fucking kidding me?! She went nuts when we said no outside food! No way am I paid enough to deal with that shit.
 
"Still... I wonder what's wrong with her?"
 
{...I FEEL like this is really, really racist, but I can't... quite... put my hoof on it...}
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