Title:           Thread 19: Stories 1-15
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/3LhbTeRF
First Edit:      Friday 6th of June 2014 04:20:38 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 6th of June 2014 04:20:38 PM CDT

Thread 19 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/17542878
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>32
"AJ2"
~~~
>At long last... The Princess of the Crystal Empire comes to grace me with her majestic presence! Her all empowering aura of love surrounds me and washes me of my sins!
 
"Hehehe, you talk funny. Like cousin 29."
 
>Okay, that's just insulting to be compared to- wait, who is 29, have I even met him?
 
"Maybe."
 
>So what brings you to my dark corner of the world... Be weary, child, here there be monsters!
 
32 slams against the bars and stares at Two wide eyed
 
And she just stares back and smiles
 
"Auntie Twily says you were hurting, so... I wanted to see if you were okay. This doesn't look much like the hospital though, and a lot of others seem pretty angry instead of worried."
 
>Because I tried to strip the deadweight from our people. Because I wanted revenge for losing those I've loved. But you wouldn't understand that, would you? no, everything in this world is handed to you. You know nothing of loss or pain, child. You know nothing.
 
Two actually frowns
 
"I know what pain is. And not the kind when you scrape your knees or bump your head. The pain that happens here when something really bad happens."
 
32 begins laughing hysterically
 
>That's priceless! Hilarious! You really do bring joy, if only because you're pathetic! What could you know of pain when the love you are showered with by the whole world makes you invincible? What could you know of heartache when all you've known is gain.
 
Two blinks, tears forming in her eyes, but not from 32's words but something else
 
"I... I know enough... I can't remember so well, but I know it hurts when I try to think of some things. Like when I see Shiny and Twilight, or Not-mom with 42 or 18. And I know what it's like to not agree with not-mom either. She used to tell me to try to spy on Shiny, tell me what makes him weak or steal love so we could later attack. But I wouldn't, I couldn't."
 
>Ah, so you know rebellion.
 
Two nods
 
"And so I left the hive, and while I didn't show it, I was really scared deep down what might happen. But not-mom let it go, she even became nicer and I don't think she wants to do bad anymore."
 
>How laughable! How childish! There's no love in her heart, only an all-consuming void!
 
"Like your heart right now?"
 
32 blinks, and through the bars, Two hugs him
 
>ENOUGH! Release me!
 
With all his might he hit Two's face, kicked her legs, or punched tried to bite her
 
And with the taunting boost from 18, with the foolish radiant compassion from Two, his hits were not the light taps she normally felt
 
Each one left indentations in her chitin, each strike cracked her body, but still she held
 
"So I know what it's like to hurt, not like you, but I can feel yours... You're not bad 32! I know you're not because no bad person would hurt so much after losing someone they loved."
 
32 keeps trying to hit her, even kill her in hopes of sparking outrage and fury against him, but his hits are growing weaker, his vision blurs
 
"I can understand hating not-mom, but please, stop hating yourself!"
 
>LET GO, CHILD!
 
He's not just trying to push her away
 
It's hard even with the bars between them
 
"Please..."
 
finally, 32 breaks down into tears
 
>She didn't even remember... She just laughed! She never does. We've given her everything and it's never sated her! My brothers and sister! Our memorial is a fucking toilet stall! And Pommel? Who remembers Pommel? Do his own damn parents even weep for their child?!
 
Two just holds him, stroking his back and crying with him
 
>I don't want us to just fade away anymore... I just want to something to remind everyone we're here. That we endured hell for everyone else...
 
"I remember... I promise I'll always remember."
 
>Thank you...
 
32 chokes
 
>I couldn't help give the hive a real future. Our whole mission was a practical joke, and when I tried to make real changes, all I did was get someone killed...
 
"We all make mistakes, I once gave Caddy the salt instead of the sugar and we opened a portal to hell."
 
32 chokes back a laugh
 
>I guess I can say I've never done that...
 
They just remain quiet, 32 holding onto Two with desperation until, after what seemed like hours, he let go, and slowly, so did she
 
"Are you feeling better?"
 
>No... But... Thank you. For everything.
 
Two just smiles and hugs him one more time, letting her wounds regenerate with ease
 
"I'll visit again, and maybe they'll let me bring some marchmallys. That always makes me feel better."
 
>I don't know... But I would still like to try. Farewell, Applejack Two
 
"Feel better soon. Maybe you can tell me about your friends, so I'll remember them better."
 
>I... I'm not sure you should hear it... Maybe someday.
 
"Okie, we can play games too then."
 
>I think I'd like that.
 
When Two finally leaves, the dungeon is as dark as ever, but despite his own words, 32 sees it as far brighter than it has since he arrived
 
NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Spike"
'Poindexter'
[Chrysalis]
{Celestia}
-18-
~Fluttershy~
~~~
 
>Are you just systematically getting rid of everyone who could prevent chaos from spreading in these games? I just got out of the hospital, show a little mercy.
 
"No."
 
[YOU DICK! I liked playing with Maney!]
 
"Hey, she's the one who was busy."
 
[You deliberately scheduled this for when she wasn't around!]
 
"Me? Nooooo."
 
'Smooth. As. Glass.'
 
"Thank you."
 
{Broken glass.}
 
"Still smooth on one side."
 
~Um...~
 
[Is she going to be like this all the time? I am not going to sit around and try to listen to her squeaks.]
 
~...I'll go get Discord.~
 
[SHINY TELL HER NO!]
 
>Please don't sick the chaos bringer on Chrysalis, Fluttershy.
 
[HAH! Knew there was a reason I liked you, besides that ass.]
 
>Don't thank me yet, I have absolutely no control over what she does, and we're not overly close.
 
~Have we even had a conversation before now?~
 
>Once or twice, yeah. Not often.
 
~Oh... you seem nice anyway.~
 
>Thank you! We need to hang out more.
 
[NO! Don't let her near me she hates me!]
 
{A problem that could be solved by you not hanging around Shiny, I notice.}
 
[Deepthroat a six sided dice!]
 
>She does not hate you.
 
~...Little bit.~
 
-And now I want to hang out with her more. You seem nice.-
 
[I always knew you would betray me one day.]
 
'Can we get started now?'
 
"Oh, fine. You find yourselves in the pit of Aholindagrad, a dark canyon filled with..."
 
[...Stop staring, Lizardbreath, you're not even close to big enough to satisfy me.]
 
"What, nothing you want to do?"
 
[Oh ho, I see, you think I'm stupid, that I'll-]
 
-Roll for advanced seduction!-
 
[18 NO!]
 
-...Wait, no?-
 
[You IDIOT! The new revisions say anyone with a cerebral amulet passively attracts mind control abilities!]
 
{So?}
 
[All beastmasters require cerebral amulets for any animal communication buffs!]
 
-So? None of us are...-
 
~Um...~
 
'Damn it, am I going to have to watch Fluttershy try to mock have sex with Shining Armor?'
 
{Nope.}
 
[Cerebral Amulets ATTRACT, idiot, not take over. Which means...]
 
-...Oh dear.-
 
"Oh, would you look at that, I guess you succeed. What are the odds?"
 
-Ah. So...-
 
~So now you and me are...um...~
 
[...KISS!]
 
~EEEP! NO! I-I-I-i'm not really, I mean I'm sure you're nice but I don't really know you, and this looks like fun but I, uh...~
 
-In the game. She means in the game.-
 
~...OH! RIGHT! Because this is how you play. Um...smoochie?~
 
-Smoochie.-
 
'...You look like you have something you want to add, Chrysalis.'
 
[NO I DON'T SHUT UP!]
 
{Really? Are you sure? Because it looks like you want to mention that the spell was a seductive one, and thus they have to go a little further than 'smoochie'.}
 
-Damn it, Chrysalis!-
 
~W-why do you have to put others on the spot like that! You... bully!~
 
[I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!]
 
"Yeah Chrysalis, you totally didn't need to point out that Advanced Seduction requires they consummate in every tavern."
 
~EVERY one!?~
 
-I wasn't even going to bring that up! Look at the poor thing, she's so embarrassed!-
 
'We were even going to make an exception to the rule if you hadn't stopped us.'
 
[HOW!? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!]
 
{Chrysalis! Really! Stop insisting on them acting it out, it's disgusting!}
 
~A-ACT IT OUT!? Oh goshohgosh!~
 
-Look at how she's blushing!-
 
'See, this stuff is why the game is so inaccessible to new players, always that one jerk in the room who's got to be so picky so she can secretly satisfy her fetishes.'
 
[WHY ARE YOU ALL SAYING THESE THINGS!?]
 
{What, did you not say all of that EXACTLY the other week?}
 
[W-WELL YEAH BUT THAT WAS ME AND SHINY AND NOT-]
 
{Typical. Always trying to force someone's hoof.}
 
"If you insist on her making the slurping sounds, I'm going to deduct experience just to spite you."
 
~S-S-SLUUUuuurrping s-sou... O-oh goodness! Goodness no! DISCORD! MAKE HER STOP!~
 
[OH SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK NO! FUCKTHISFUCKTHATANDFUCKYOUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH]
 
*CRASH!*
 
>...That was mean, and you owe me a new ceiling.
 
"Don't even pretend it wasn't worth it."
 
~Is every game like this?~
 
>What, where it takes us forever to get past the first turn with either lewd sex acts, someone running off screaming or mass death?
 
~I... I didn't meantion-~
 
>Because yes. Yes to all of that.
 
~...Yay.~
 
'...What?'
 
~What? I like to have fun too. Now, I'm going to roll to pet the bunny!~
 
'That um... that's actually me, I got turned into a rabbit last game, and we're on a quest to change me back.'
 
~...I'mma still pet it.~
 
'Really? Hey, if I were to ask what you were doing tomorrow night-'
 
~DISCORD!~
 
'NOPENOPENOPENOPE!'
 
*CRASH!*
 
>THE DOOR WAS OPEN!... Jerk.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
“Spitfire”
‘Two’
________
 
In the barren, partially ruined common room of Canterlot Castle was where three figures sat around a circular table. Two of them held mugs of hard cider… while the third clutched a sippy cup of orange juice just as tightly.
 
For the first six minutes, Spike and Spitefire merely observed the infamous younger Changeling, inquisitively watching as she threw back her juice like it were an alcoholic beverage. It was obvious that she was only doing it that way because she’d seen them do it, but that only made the act cuter, even when she sluggishly used her arm to wipe at her bottom lip.
 
Spike and Spitefire glanced up at one another, then back down at Two, who fixed the both of them with an entirely hammed ‘angry, bleary-eyed’ glare.
 
‘What?’
 
Spike could only grin, taking a small swig of his own drink.
 
>Nothin’. How’s it hanging, Two?
 
‘Well, it’s tough, ya know? I got all this school I gotta do and that’s fine an’ all but then I can only carry so many marchmalley’s to my classes! Shiny won’t let me carry more than three bags a day but I gotta loooootta friends an’ they all love the marchmalley’s I bring an’ they’re not fibbing ‘cause I can feel they like ‘em and so I want to keep bringin’ ‘em but Shiny won’t let me slip in a fourth bag and then my holes don’t make good marchmalley holders ‘cause then I just eat ‘em myself and-’
 
Both older patrons listened intently, nodding at her rightful indignation, however false it may have been, and allowed her to get all those troubles off her chest.
 
‘-he's gonna make me say ‘Shiny, you only get six hugs today instead of seven!’ See how he likes me then!’
 
Spitfire lifted her drink.
 
“That’ll show his fickle tail, no doubt, Two.”
 
‘Right? …but I couldn’t do that to Shiny. In fact, now he gets eleven hugs. An’ a marchmalley kiss.’
 
>Even better. Why don’t you go give him five of those eleven right now?
 
‘Okay! Bye, Spikes! Bye lady who smells funny!’
 
>Annnnd she’s gone… by the way, why DO you smell-
 
“The bitch sat on me and Soarin today.”
 
>Huh… sounds like good times for Soarin at least.
 
“Not really, considering I was sitting on him while she was sitting on me.
 
>…
 
“But anyway, my glamorous life aside, what’s new in yours? That’s some pretty potent cider there.”
 
>Tch, just a double shot of non-alcoholic apple juice. Anyway, I may have inadvertently made a name for myself. Throughout the dragons anyway….
 
“Okay, how in the hell did you pull that one off? I mean, no offense, but you’re still kinda just a whelp where dragons are concerned. How could you possibly spread your name?”
 
>Easily. By shoving Charity knee-deep into the eye socket of an elder dragon, the leader of its clan.
 
There was a resounding ‘thunk!’ as Spike laid the heavy piece of weaponry on the table. His expression was rigid.
 
>Dragons talk, Spits. They talk quick, travel fast and roar loud. What I did… that’s not something that’s going to stay quite for very long….
 
“Meaning…?”
 
>It might rustle some scales, put the wrong message into the wrong dragon that a fledgling is stepping up to challenge them.
 
“Again, meaning?”
 
 
>Meaning… we might be experiencing a few scaly encounters of the fire-breathing kind.
 
“Oh. Oh shit.”
 
>Yeah.
 
“Well, what’s your little ass doing sittin’ here for? Go tell the princess!”
 
>Celestia has enough on her plate. She’s still recovering from being KO’d by Chitania.
 
“I meant the ‘real’ princess, Applejack!”
 
Spike snorted into his cup.
 
>Ah. No. I’d rather take on ten elder dragons than pile anymore woe on my applebutt. I’ll handle it. Besides, I’m knowledgeable in multiple forms of martial arts, have a varied amount of training, and Charity’s right there. That’s all the help I’ll need.
 
There was some lingering doubt in Spitfire’s eyes but she eventually just sighed, shrugging it away.
 
“If you say so. I still think you’re an idiot, though.”
 
>Better an idiot than an ass-warmer.
 
“I honestly can’t tell if that was meant as a snide remark or if you were showing a bit of jealously.”
 
>…bit of both at the moment.
 
NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chitania
"Gryphon Librarian"
~~~
 
You know, honestly, if she didn't keep ending up here every time she turned around three times, she would probably avoid this kingdom like the plague. Bunch of prideful, spiteful assholes, the lot of them.
 
Still moping about those damn soldiers too.
 
Did not get that, really. They were soldiers, right? Bred for this? The hell was the problem?
 
Must be a pride thing. "We lost six whole soldiers and didn't kill one!?" They'd probably take it better if she had lost some drones or something. Yeah, that makes sense, that one general died laughing after he killed most of Caelifera's hive. Heh, that look on her face when she actually had to ask for help to keep from being discovered...
 
Right before that soldier stabbed her heart.
 
Maybe that was it. She was too tough for them to reach her heart. Assholes, thinking they deserved the glory. Her glory. She should just supesize right now and-
 
"Miss?"
 
>...Yes?
 
"You are growling."
 
>...Is that an issue?
 
"How... how are you growling? Beaks made growling very hard to do."
 
>Natural gift, now just drop the next book right there and move on.
 
"Fine! Little bitch."
 
>Same to you.
 
Fuck, these gryphons were weird. Their gods were all abstract and made no sense. They might as well have been made via splashing paint on a wall.
 
Still, there was one that had a bit of interest...
 
"Okay, what the tuftfeathers. How are you smirking?"
 
>...Magic.
 
"Gryphons don't have-GNNN... Hi, miss, can I help you? Oh, I see, you have a bunch of books already... huh."
 
>Something wrong?
 
"That... did we always have a second floor?"
 
>You're the librarian.
 
"...I am?"
 
....Fuck.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>10
"Fluttershy"
'Discord'
{BBB}
~~~~~
 
>HIYA! Thank you again for lettin' me get an interview!
 
"Oh, it's no trouble at all, really... well, okay, it's a little, but Applejack insisted. And then Twilight insisted. Then Dash. Then Rarity. Then Pinkie. Then Angel Bunny. Then Spike. Then 42. Then the mailmare. Then Applejack again. Then the talking cupcake Discord made. Then a bird. Applejack one more time. Then Luna. How could I so no after that?"
 
>Er-
 
"Like this, "no". But I didn't because they would just say to do it again, and I would have to say no again."
 
{...ERROR! LOGIC DOES NOT FOLLOW COGNIZANT ROUTE!}
 
'Quiet you.'
 
{DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE!}
 
>Okay, gonna have to ask ya' ta' stop messing with my buddy there, kay?
 
'He's not sentient!'
 
{HURTFUL!}
 
>Still my camerapony.
 
'Camera ROBOT.'
 
>Camera pony.
 
'Robot.'
 
>Pony.
 
'Roooobot.'
 
>Pony!
 
'Chicken!'
 
*Poof!*
 
>...
 
{BZZTSQUAWK!}
 
"Discord!"
 
'Hey, I'm allowed to do that to toasters, I aske-OW!'
 
>TURN HIM BACK!
 
'Did you just kick me in the shin-OW!'
 
>NOW!
 
'That's it, you're glue!'
 
*ZZZT!*
 
'...Flutterbutter, not fair-OW! Oh, yeah, you stop me, but you don't stop her from kicking my shin!?'
 
>TURN MY BUDDY BACK RIGHT NOW!
 
'Fine! FINE!'
 
*FOOP!*
 
{...BZZT, I FEEL DIRTY.}
 
>Buddy! Yer' back! Great, cool, right... So, Princess Fluttershy, how's the animal sanctuary stuff in the far west end of Everfree going?
 
"Pretty good. Mostly repaired after Chitania's run through... DISCORD!"
 
'I regret nothi-OW!'
 
>Nice kick.
 
"Thank you."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>TS
"Rarity"
'AJ'
[FS]
-RD-
=PP=
~~~
"So, is it true you and Spike used to star in movies?"
 
>Ugh... They were just home videos that Shiny directed...
 
[That's such a lovely bonding activity!]
 
'Ah'll say. Nothin' like family workin' shoulder ta shoulder.'
 
Applejack suddenly looks a bit down
 
>Homesick, Applejack?
 
'Yeah, even wit' Applebloom 'round, Ah'm busy most o' tha time wit' mah things an' she's busy wit' tha Crusaders.'
 
=Oooooh! Great idea!=
 
-Weren't you supposed to be possessed by the Omnomonomicon? Does anyone else remember that at all?-
 
=Well why do you?=
 
-You made me eat an out-of-season dirt cake. From real gravedirt. With real worms and maggots. With the actual bones of dead soldiers and a bloody knife stuck in it!-
 
=Well, ignoring that! Since we don't hang out like we used to and because some of us are missing our families, what if we all got cameras and recorded our daily lives and then give copies to one another and our families!=
 
"What a marvelous idea!"
 
[Yes! That way we'll always be able to think of one another!]
 
'Yeah!'
 
>Just... please... Don't let Shiny know, he'll make the thing less into a day in the life and try to make me do another superheroin flick again.
 
-Again?-
 
>Yeah. First time I was a bubbly little one in a trio of superheroine sisters, the other one made me into an emo, demon-daughter.
 
'... Welp, who's up fer headin' to tha Crystal Empite ta bug Shinin'?'
 
"=[-Me!-]="
 
>Celestia's mom dammit...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
" OO7 "
~~~~
 
She didn't even have to look, she knew he was there.
 
>Well?
 
The sigh in the darkness told her what she wanted to know already, but best to hear all the details.
 
"It bothers me that I can never sneak up on you."
 
>I am a Queen of an entire species of creatures who's main function is to hide and attack, that I would not have the skills to detect you is laughable. Report, at once.
 
"I have not located her."
 
She snarled, her horn flaring up.
 
>Why is this so difficult!? Even at her best, Chitania was a poor infiltrator! The only reason she was chosen at all was due to her possessing exemplary sturdiness akin to a drone and the most ferocity of any soldier. A covert agent, she was not!
 
"I am sorry, my Queen. Every time I think she is within my grasp, nothing is found. So many red herrings have led me all across Equestria, occurring so simultaneously it can't be anything but coincidence! I went to examine an attack on a train that fit her profile clear in the snowy tundra, but by the time I arrived there was not a trace of her, and another lead had appeared clear in Appleoosa! I do not understand, Majesty, is fire flight really capable of something like this?"
 
>...No. That she could do it at all was a shock, that she could possibly do it across continents is madness. Even at our peak, no Queen has ever been capable of a fire flight that far, least of all one with such a poor grasp on our magic as her.
 
"Then..."
 
>Then she is leading you around on false trails, and you are going to keep searching. Are we clear?
 
"Of course, your Highness. I will find her."
 
>Good. Come here.
 
Magic poured from her horn, slinking out as a green mist and pouring into the smaller changeling.
 
"M-majesty! So much!"
 
>That should be enough for you to find her.
 
"At least! I feel I could go for months!... With this power, do you want me to..."
 
>No. Do not engage her. Under absolutely no circumstances are you to even attempt it. If she suspects you, flee. Flee as fast and as far as your wings will carry you. There are few on this planet who could hope to match her, you will never be one.
 
"I... I understand, my Queen."
 
>Good. Go, and come back to me with news of where I may finally end this stalemate.
 
"Yes, your Highness. It shall be done."
 
>Thank you, OO7, your work is appreciated.
 
"I only hope I am worthy of your gratitude."
 
In a flicker, he was gone.
 
>...Damn you, Auntie Chitania.
 
She did not cry, but nonetheless she felt something stinging behind her eyes.
 
>This would have been so much easier if you had just said yes.
 
Taking no risks, she disguised herself in a flash of green fire, revealing... herself, only far more composed. With a fake smile plastered on her face, she strutted out through the castle. Secretly, she hoped she would not come across Shiny for at another twenty minutes.
 
Damn stallion saw through her every time.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Twilight
"???"
'???'
[???]
~~~~~
 
>Hi, Mom and Dad! Listen, this idea is crazy, and don't call me on it, but Pinkie suggested we make a video about our daily lives so you can get an idea what it is we do around here. Well, I'm doing it just to be nice, but it's honestly really boring.... don't do a whole lot of science stuff anymore... OH! I know! I'll go talk to Celestia! Surely she's got things to talk about, that'll be fun!... Here we are, Celestia's room!... hope that teleport didn't hurt the camera... I'd so examine that if I wasn't worried I would accidnetally make a mutant camera monster who-shit! Still record- I MEAN HERE IS CELESTIA AND
 
*SLAM!*
 
>...
 
"...Twilight."
 
>P-...Princess Celestia.
 
'...Nice to see you, nerdzama.'
 
>Chrysalis. Always a pleasure. Um...
 
"...What are we doing?"
 
>I... I don't know if I want to know.
 
"We are having a rematch from a... past contest. A... special dancing contest, you could say."
 
>Ah. And he is here because...?
 
'We needed an unbiased judge, and he proved himself last time.'
 
>I see... I see.... Um, Shiny? Want to say hi to mom and dad?
 
[...Hi mom. Hi dad... this isn't what it looks like?]
 
'It absolutely is.'
 
>I'm... I'm just going to leave now, okay?
 
[Twili, burn the tapes.]
 
>B-bye!
 
[Twili? You're going to burn the tapes, right? Right? Twili? TWILIGHT!?... Ahhhh... crap.]
 
'...My turn!'
 
[Fine, but protip, and I realize this is unfair, stop with the squatting thing, it's not sexy.]
 
"No no, that's fair, I want her to stop too."
 
'It is so!'
 
[...]
"...'
 
'...No appreciation for the art of the dance.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Apploosa, Equestria...
 
A camera activates giving us a close look at Spike's face.
 
"Stop playing with that thing!" Twilight's voice snaps crisply behind him.
 
"I've just got to adjust this..." Spike continues to struggle with some unseen instruments.
 
Twilight rolls her eyes behind Spike and asks: "Give me the sequence calculations. ... NOW!"
 
Spike gives up and turns informs Twilight: "They're already done." while handing her a clipboard as she sits in a chair hooked up to some strange machine.
 
Twilight looks over them with a pen and adjusts for any errors before handing it back to Spike.
 
"I wonder if it will be raining?" Twilight asks with a slightly heavy voice as she contemplates what she is about to do.
 
Spike just ignores the comment and heads to a control panel. "Stand by!" He calls to Twilight who takes a deep breath and leans back in her chair before a light shimmers through her and tears her through space and time.
 
Roughly 1000 years ago, at the edges of Chitania's new hive...
 
The newly ascended changeling queen observes her new domain and contemplates their next move against a village of ponies not too far away when a rustle in the bushes alerts her.
 
She relaxes when she sees another changeling, likely from her hive.
 
"My queen..." The drone says with a bow. "May I have the honor to shake thy hoof?"
 
Shrugging, Chitania extends her hoof and shakes and then freezes as time and space sunder about her, within her. Her last vision before oblivion was seeing the 'drone' reveal herself as a pony in disguise.
 
Back in the present, Twilight reappears in her chair.
 
Spike eagerly runs up to Twilight. "Did you find her?"
 
"... Chitania, is out of the way."
 
Spike is joyous at the news. "Congratulations, Twilight! With Chitania removed-..."
 
Twilight holds up a placating hoof.
 
"Time will tell... Sooner or later, time will tell."
 
What neither one saw was how the world around them was shifting, altering, changing. Paradoxes tore up the land and time dialated, readjusting itself to the monumental change a monumental changeling queen now gone.
 
When the changes had settled, sun and moon battled for control of the sky, sides were being taken, and the long war between Celestia and Luna was about to begin again, sounded by a single cry in Germane: "DIE WAFFEN, LEGT AN!"
 
NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Sombra"
----------
>Mind explaining what this thing on my desk is?
 
"It's a golem."
 
>Cool, I fought one of those in O&O once. But, why is it on my desk?
 
"There seems to be a shortage of tables in the castle at the moment. I suspect it has something to do with Mane-iac's makeshift lair."
 
>Not going to ask about that last bit - not my problem. What's got you in the mood for making golems though?
 
"I was working on a scale replica of one of the battles I led here, and needed some to add to the scene. I could not find a way to assemble them properly, so I used the same spells I created the original ones with."
 
>It's kind of cute. Two would love it.
 
"Perhaps when I have completed these, I shall construct one for her also."
 
>So, the original ones that these are based on - what were they for?
 
"They were substantial part of my army. Unlike ponies, they do not tire, they do not require sustenance, and they follow orders without question. They do not feel emotion, nor fear pain or death, and are extraordinarily resilient - and should they fall, they can just be re-created."
 
>Woah. Kinda like undead, but a bit less creepy. How many of these did you have?
 
"Their number was in the thousands."
 
>You know, we really could have used a few thousand of those when the robots attacked. What happened to them? Do you have any other useful things hidden here you gonna tell me about?
 
"I am aware of this, and wish I had remembered it at the time. There are many secrets here I have not told you. Many of them you may well wish to not have known about if I told you."
 
>That was remarkably cryptic, and a little unnerving. But you didn't really answer my question.
 
"Indeed, I did not. There may still be some within the depths of the castle, but I may have... "misplaced" ...the remaining majority."
 
>You... wait, give me a second... Are you saying that you somehow LOST several thousand of these things?!
 
"No, I-"
 
>Here floats before me the mighty King Sombra, who managed to accidentally "misplace" his entire army!
 
"Grrr..."
 
>Seriously, how the heck did you manage that?
 
"When I was defeated, I took the entire empire with me - no small feat of spellwork. That is what I used my last moments for. I did not have the time or energy to do much more.
That could have been planned better, in hindsight, since the golems used the castle as a beacon of sorts - it was how I issued commands to them at a distance."
 
>So when the castle vanished... you weren't able to...
 
"Correct."
 
>Do you know where you left them?
 
"Outside."
 
>Very specific. Shall I have the guards put up posters for lost crystals?
 
"Outside of the shield, you fool! Likely buried under a thousand years of snow and ice."
 
>Think you could find any of them? Would they even still work? We could really use something like that around here.
 
“They were built for war, during a darker time - do not forget that Armor. A golem is not so easily changed, once it is complete.”
 
>So...
 
“Yes, I could find them if I wanted - but to do so, I would have to “revert” some of the castle's architecture to access those functions - something which may not be received well by the population, given our history.”
 
>Point taken. I'll let you get back to your models, but you've got to tell me more about this place sometime.
 
“Perhaps. Though you may need to intervene with those tables. Eighteen will not be pleased when she finds hers missing.”
 
>Bother. *sigh* 5...
 
“4”
 
>3
 
“2”
 
[GIVE ME BACK MY DESK!]
 
“Good luck.”
 
As Shining Armor dashed out of the room, Sombra left the model on the desk. There was something he needed to check.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~
 
>Alright, stop.
 
"What?"
 
>You're about to show me the skin trick again. The one where you redistribute it.
 
"Damn, I did that one already?"
 
>You have. Aren't there any really scary ones?
 
"...Weelllll..."
 
>Well?
 
"...There is this one cousin that fucking NOBODY liked. Cousin Mandarinia."
 
>Oh?
 
"She was... fucking terrifying."
 
>Worse than what's her face?
 
"...Okay, not THAT bad, less bad than that, but she was one of those creepy ones. She... um..."
 
>Um?
 
"Okay, well, she didn't like to leave her 'partners' alive."
 
>A common theme.
 
"Right but, well, she was a bit... uncomfortable with the method."
 
>...Go on...
 
"She had... a stinger."
 
>Oh. Well, that's not so bad-
 
"Hidden."
 
>Well, I would assume...
 
"..."
 
>...Oh sweet fuck no.
 
"Yeah."
 
>Right in his-
 
"Right. In. Side."
 
Subconsciously, Shining Armor's legs crossed.
 
>Fuck you, that's the worst one.
 
"Really? Sciderella ate children. She didn't even take any love from it, just ate them."
 
>Still worse.
 
"I saw her once play tennis with a bunch of skulls. Skulls she KEPT ALIVE."
 
>Still. Worse. I mean, holy shit, going RIGHT IN THERE and killing you!? I assume it was poisoned?
 
"Yep. Was described as, quoting here, 'LIKE LAVA POURING INTO MY DIIIIIICK!' translated from garble of pain, of course."
 
>HISSSSS....EEEEEEEEE! NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE! FUCKTHATFUCKTHATFUCKTHAT! Go back to the skin thing!
 
"You want to check to make sure I can't do that? Go ahead, reach in, I'll let you."
 
>...
 
"...I can't actually, that was fucking freaky. I just wanted you to-"
 
>Got it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
"Garble"
>Fizzle
'Other Dragons'
~~~
Whp click!
 
Shf...
 
Whp click!
 
Shf...
 
"The... The fuck.... are you doing?"
 
'And what the fuck is that? Some new pony toy?'
 
>O-Oh, hey, guys! I'm just practicing my quickdraw in my reflection. Like how Spike had done that thing.
 
"You're... What draw?"
 
'Hey, isn't that one of those lame-ass things that faggot baby dragon used? The gay ass boomstick?'
 
>Well how much of a fucking faggot does that make us for running away from him?
 
'...'
 
"Still not half the faggot as you!"
 
'Ahahahahaha!'
 
>Shut up! All of you! You're the faggots!
 
Fizzle turns the gun on them, claws reach for the sky
 
They could laugh when it wasn't pointed at them, but once it was, flashbacks played in their head
 
'Whoa! Take it easy man!'
 
Garble still scoffed
 
"Do you even know how to-"
 
BANG!
 
BANG!
 
BANG!
 
BANG!
 
BANG!
 
"JEEZ, MAN! CALM DOWN!"
 
>See there? Suddenly, I'm the king of the horde! The Alpha! I didn't even have to hit, or aim in the general direction of most of you nad you shit yourselves! All it takes is a fucking pull of the trigger. A twitch of my claw! Spike kicked a clan elder's ass with these things!
 
Stunned silence
 
Then Fizzle's shaking hands began to reloading the gun, dropping bullets on the floor and only loading in half his goal
 
>And... And I'm gonna kick Spike's ass with my Fawntine Paddywhacker!
 
Fizzile holsters his gun, turns, and begins flying off in the direction of Canterlot laughing
 
"Dude! At least think of a less gay name than paddywhacker! It sounds like you're gonna beat off! ... Jeez... That guy's nuts. I kind of like this new Fizzle."
 
'Kind of an idiot though.'
 
'Still way more fun and interesting than his faux-gay thing.'
 
'Was he ever even gay? I thought we just kept doing things to convince him he was because it was funny.'
 
"So... Bets on if he lives or dies?"
 
'I want a slice of that gem cake!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Sombra"
~~~
 
>Sombra! Just the guy I wanted to see. Um... could you... explain this?
 
"It is a piece of worn parchment. I did not take you for being slow, Shining Armor, I am disappointed."
 
>Somrba.
 
"Oh, fine. It... Oh! That is not me."
 
>Not you.
 
"Nope."
 
>You had nothing to do with this.
 
"Not a thing. Was there before I even took over."
 
>...
 
"...Really!"
 
>So, the magical crystal ponies, BEFORE you arrived, had a law... stating that the king can claim ANYONE HE WANTS as his bride at any time. Even if they are married.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...Really! I had nothing to do with that!"
 
>Sombra.
 
"Hey, polygamy was legal before I took over too! Maybe they're just a bunch of sexual degenerates!"
 
>Not the same thing.
 
"Well, what does it say about the Queen? Maybe they're just-"
 
>It says the King is allowed to behead her if he suspects her as unfaithful. Not confirms, SUSPECTS.
 
"...Wow. That is... quite horrifying. A part of me is a little glad I took over now. So... are you going to repeal those laws?"
 
>Honestly, I'm terrified of acknowledging these things EXIST.
 
"Ah. Well, I had nothing to do with those laws."
 
>...
 
"...I uh... I did make that one on the corner of the desk, though."
 
>...All the balconies have to have little hearts in them?
 
"Dark magic is a hell of a drug, Shining Armor."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Cadence
"SA"
~~~~
 
>DON'T YOU EVEN DARE!
 
"Honey?"
 
>I FINALLY FOUND A LAW I LIKE! YOU PUT THAT PEN DOWN RIGHT NOW WE ARE KEEPING IT!
 
NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chitania
'Various Guards'
"Captain"
~~~~
 
"Stallions! We cannot be shamed like this! We have to subdue her and bring her into custody! She has assaulted multiple of us, and we must show her this will not be tolerated!"
 
'FUCK YOU! YOU DO IT!'
 
"Is that any way to speak to your superior officer!?"
 
'YES! YES IT IS YOU GIGANTIC PUSSY! ACK NO WAIT HEL-'
 
'Come on, come be all 'superior'! COME ON! NO NO NO GET AWAY-'
 
"She's just an earth pony! You're pegasi and unicorns!"
 
'HEY!'
 
"Quiet rookie! We can fly and or shoot laser beams from our horns, 'increased stamina' can go fuck itself."
 
'HATE SPEECH! RACIST! FUCK YOU!'
 
"I do not give a FUCK! Now get in there and fi-... um."
 
>I got tired of punching your unconscious soldiers in the face.
 
"I... Uh... I still have two left?"
 
'EAT ALL THE DICKS!'
 
>They're... how did you say it? Earth ponies? You're a unicorn. Those two can go... 'fuck themselves'.
 
"Uh... LASER BEAM!"
 
>...
 
"Wow. Was hoping that would, I don't know, blow your head off or someth-OH SWEET CELESTIA HELP!"
 
>Celestia cannot help you now!
 
"MY LIIIIIIIMMBS!"
 
'... I don't feel bad.'
 
'Me either. Racist prick.'
 
"AHHHHHHHHHH!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________