Title:           Finding Loyalty, ch6
Author:          PortBrony
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/2CyVckCa
First Edit:      Saturday 16th of August 2014 02:31:15 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 16th of August 2014 02:31:15 AM CDT

>The fall semester has ended, exams are done, and snow is on the ground.
>Despite this it seems Dash has not had time to question you
>It's been about 12 weeks since you start school with the girls.
>You've seen Twilight almost every since exam period started, where you two studied together.
>Everyone was waiting for you to ask her out.
>But hadn't.
>You weren't entirely sure if you wanted to.
>But as soon as you walked into Sugar Cube Corner, it seemed that didn't matter.
>"He's here," Twilight said, as you walked though the front door.
>Sitting at the usual table was the six girls,
>Pinkie seemed to be mouthing something to you, but it wasn't helping.
>You checked your phone.
>Nothing.
"Uh, hey girls, what's up" you ask as you approach the table.
>"Are you getting anything?" Twilight asked, her tone short, and face stone.
"I'm thinking coffee, you want anything?"
>"I'm fine, thank you."
>Still short.
>In the centre of the table was a pile of phones.
>That wasn't typical.
>You walked over to get a coffee, and came back as soon as you got it.
"WHat's goin-"
>"Can I talk to you, Anon?" Twilight asked.
"Uh sure, what's up?"
>"Over there?" she asked, pointing to a free area in an empty part of the cafe.
>You glance around, looking at the group. They say and do nothing.
>Save for Pinkie who keeps trying to mouth something to you.
>It almost looks like she's saying she's...sorry?
>Sorry for what?
>"Anon?"
"Yes, sounds good. Won't be long girls."
>You and Twilight move over to the two person table.
"So whats up Twilight?" you ask as you sit, almost intrinsically going for her hands, which she pulls away.
>O...kay.
>"When were you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
>"That Pinkie and you kissed."
>...
>That explains why she was sorry,
"Pinkie and I didn't kiss, she kissed my cheek."
>"You two kissed."
"Twilight, she kissed my cheek. Nothing more else happened."
>"Why did she?"
"Spur of the moment? I don't know. Twilight this was settled back in November by me and her. Nothing else happened." you explain, going again for her hands and catching them this time.
>She says nothing, but looks away. She doesn't pull her hands away, but they don't respond to yours either.
"Twilight, whats this about?"
>She glances over at you, trying to appear unfazed.
>Her eyes seem hollow and lost, but more forward was pain.
>She was hurt.
>You slide in closer and lean over the table still your noses are touching.
"Twilight, whats this about?"
>"I. I told you it-"
"No, thats what pushed you over the edge. In fact, I don't think you're actually mad at Pinkie. Which means that something deeper is at work. I can't help if you don't talk to me"
>She looks down at her hands and sees them in yours. She wiggles her fingers a bit and smiles as they catch yours.
>"I. I'm jealous, I guess."
"Of what?"
>"The other girls. I mean, they get along really well with you, but sometimes, I don't know, I guess I think that they hold a closer interest to you then me. And, its not like I'd blame you, I'd understand. It just.."
"Hurts? Knowing that someone you care about, and who cares about you, might not care? That you're faced with being alone, and you can't stand it?" The words fall out of your mouth and don't stop. Like a train wreck, it goes on until your stopped.
>Twilight takes her hands in yours and squeezes them.
>"Anon, you ok? That seemed like i-"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." you say regaining your composure. "This is your time. Not mine."
>The look she gives you may not have hurt, but you could tell it was designed to.
>"Anon, you need to talk. This can't be healthy."
"Twilight I'-"
>"Enough, Anon. I don't care who you talk to; me, or any of us. Just please,"
"It's very sweet that you care, but I'm fine. Really, I am."
>"Who are you trying to convince; me, or you? because I don't think anyone is buying"
>You say nothing, what can you say?
>You knew you couldn't keep up this forever.
>Something had to give.
>Something had to break.
>Just why was it so hard?
"Twilight"
>"Yes?"
>You pause for a few moments, and take a sip of coffee.
"Do you think that guys can't be hurt?"
>"I know if I let go of your hands and walked off you'd be hurt," she says with a cute smile. "So of course I think guys can be hurt. That's not even a worthwhile question; its a truism."
"I don't know," you say, eyes glued to your hands
>"About what?"
"What you said."
>"Anon, you're not making sense."
"I watched it happen, you know. I watched them do it. I watched them shoot up, they've been doing it for a long time. They always kept it under such control. It was pretty amazing, you say. Nothing could explain how they did it."
>Twilight just watches you as you talk. Her hands squeezing yours
>Letting you know you aren't alone.
"Then they quit, they quit shooting up. Cold turkey they went," you explain, rocking back and fourth on your chair
"I watched them quit. I was so proud. I ran to them, cause I was so proud"
>By now, Dash is at your side, but aside from seeing her, you don't even register her existence.
"They pushed me away. They, they threw me away. I couldn't understand. It went on like that for a long time, pushing me away, and pushing me away after they quit. They didn't replace shooting up with anything else. They just left that emptiness, be empty"
>You look up into her eyes, tears threatening to bomb the table below you
"I couldn't understand it; what did they replace it with? What did they replace it with? Shooting up is a way of filling a void, right? So when you quit, what do you replace it with?"
>Twilight nods, and squeezes your hands
>She says things. But they don't register as something you understand
>Just noise
"Then I realized it. it finally kicked in. The void had been replaced. They replaced with something else"
>You look her dead in the eye, and a laugh slips out
>The laugh is bitter.
>It rushes though you, soaking you in your world of delusion.
>You're not even sure what people are saying, but you see lips moving.
>You can't even tell who they are.
>You stare off into the world behind the girl before you.
"Me," you whisper. "Me."
"I don't know what that void they needed to fill was, but they filled it with me. I don't even know how long it lasted, or when it started or if it even ended," you say.
>It's getting to the point where you're not sure if anything you're saying makes sense.
>It just pours out, bombing those who listen.
"They'd do whatever they could that wouldn't outright kill me. Mental, psychological, money wise, anything. Some physical; where they'd use a knife and slice at parts of me. Never deep enough to bleed, but enough to ensure I knew. I never knew what would happen when they decided they needed their fix. Most of it wasn't at regular times, just constant and though out the days.They'd say one thing to me, and do another, usually based off something that no one could control."
>The girl looks visibly shocked, and you think she asks you to keep going. It's hard to tell.
"It was a joint project of fun to them; they both did this, and with almost exact ferocity. I could never tell who was worse. They just wanted me to pay for whatever someone or something did."
>You stop speaking, and let it sit.
>You don't move, and you her nothing.
>The girl before you is fuzzy to look at and your hands, at least you think they're your hands, you don't remember moving them, are stagnant.
>You feel something pressed to your lips, and they are push open slightly.
>Your head is slowly tilted back and what ever was pressed to your lips is pushed up.
>Something pours into your mouth.
>Water.
>Cool. Refreshing. Water.
>You gulp it down. All of it.
>The glass is taken away and your head is pushed back.
>After a few moments, the girl becomes visible.
>"Anon, can you hear me?"
>You look at her.
>She has tears in her eyes.
>You look around.
>They all do.
"Girls, I'm. I'm sorry. I didn-"
>Your voice is silenced by a group hug from the six.
>They don't say anything.
"I didn't mean to make you cry," you say, as the first tear falls from your face, and on to Twilights head.
>==
>You're sitting at the table with the girls.
>They've mostly calmed down from your story.
>Twilight explains that you just went off the rails from when you started; rocking on your chair and repeating yourself.
>You didn't respond to anything anyone said, and when you stopped, you look extremely pale, so they forced you water to make sure you didn't pass out.
"I'm fine now, though. Thank you."
>Dash, stands behind you arms wrapped around you, and Twilight won't let go of your hand, the other being claimed by Applejack who sits beside from you.
>The attention is nice, and understandable, but you wish they wouldn't worry so much.
>You're fine, currently.
>"How'd you get out?" Dash asks.
"Someone tipped off Social Services, and the police. They raided the house, and got me out, and caught them in the act."
>"What act?"
>"Physical, though no knife. I had the audacity to stand up for myself. Found them putting me in a headlock, and me fighting to get out."
>"You're ok now?"
"Apparently. I was placed on an emergency list to see psychologists, since they had no idea what to expect and needed to build a file on me. Plus, my age really worried them. I passed the tests, though the monitor the laptop I have as a precaution; its set up on a warning system. I search for violence or other things that could be problematic, it warms them and they can send help to me.
>Which is great, because the last thing you needed was the team who does this noticing that you look up porn.
>"They let you go? Just like that?"
"They had no reason to fear. I'm considered a miracle case, I've already had had journal articles written on me. I'm a statistically impossiblity."
>"And you're ok?"
"I'm ok."
>==
>It's night time
>You're in bed, relaxing.
>Today was not an easy task.
>Getting Twilight and Applejack to be willing to go home was not an easy feat. Eventually they relented.
>As you close your eyes, ready to end the night, you smile at the ceiling.
>It was a lot easier now that you had talked to them.
>Dash said she'd be here for you just before you went to bed. Gave you a long hug as well.
>She's really sweet.
>Gonna make someone really happy some day.
>You drift off into slumber, able to sleep at peace for the first time in awhile.