Title:           Gaynon in Equestria (Part 1)
Author:          Pony_Azathoth
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/e1C31rSV
First Edit:      Sunday 25th of March 2012 08:29:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 25th of March 2012 08:29:06 PM CDT

>Once upon a time, a homosexual dropped into Equestria
>What the fuck?
>He looked around, wondering how he got here
>I like bright colors and all, but this was too much
>Stand up
>Talks a walk
>He needs some fucking coffee.
>He walks around some more, and soon finds a town
>As he gets closer, he sees the town is populated by ponies.
>wat
>Gets closer, he gets tons of awkward looks
>Nothing new there, really.
>Just from equines this time, not homosapians
>heheh, "homo"
>Anyway, he sees an interesting building and decides to enter.
>Goes inside
>"Holy shit! This place is FABULOUS!"
>Anon has entered Rarity's boutique
>Looking around at all the dresses and stuff
>Not a crossdresser, but likes dresses
>Rarity comes out, not looking at him
"Hello, welcome to carousel boutique. I am Rari-"
>She stops as she finally notices that he is not a pony
>She screams and runs away
"Hey wait!" He calls after her
>She fucking boosts away
>Dammit
>Anon is now alone in the room
>Well shit
>Waits a few minutes
>He manages to see Rarity sneaking and barely looking around a corner to look at him
>She notices that he saw
>She ducks back, terrified
>Anon thinks
"Uhh... I like your Dresses." He says aloud
>Rarity steps out a little
"Really?" She says, with a smile
>Success
"Yeah. They are well made, and pretty."
>Rarity smiles, her fear of him gone already
>She walks over to a dress
"Yes, I spend quiet alot of time on them. A shame not many stallions are into dresses."
>You know that feel
>Rarity smiles at you
>You smile back
"I've never seen... uhhmm..."
"Human. I'm a human."
"Ahh."
>You realize that you're much more stable when meeting talking ponies then people should
>Well ok
>Rarity invites you around
>She sees she will introduce you to other ponies
>Sounds great!
 
>Later, dinner
>Introduced to Sweetie Belle
>She's nice
>Rarity gets you some food too
>All vegetables
>Well duh, they're ponies
>You're not sure if you could live on a vegetable only diet
>You really like mea-
>Ok, that's a bit too gay. Even for you.
>Finish eating dinner
>Rarity tells you to stay here for the night, she'll introduce you to the others tomorrow
>You protest, she shouldn't have to take you in for the night
>She refuses no for an answer
>She's very generous!
>Then, her face brights up
"Oh! You know what this means?"
>You shake your head, a little worried
"SLEEPOVER!"
>wat
>Ok sleepover time
>You and Rarity chill in her room
>This is a little awkward, with your being two different genders
>well and different species, that might have something to do with it too
>Rarity does some makeup stuff
>You help her out
>You think she may have a built in gaydar or something
"Hey Anon."
"Uhhh... yes Rarity..?"
"Do you... you know.. like...?"
>You sigh
>You didn't think it was that obvious
"I didn't think it was that obvious"
>She gives you a hoof-wave
"Please Anon! Most guys only think about one thing, it's obvious when guys are more then just shallow."
>You nod, appreciating her comment
>Even if it is wrong, though you're not sure how ponies work.
>Rarity tells you to wait right there
>She comes back
>She's wearing some low-cut skirt
>ohmygodwhy
"Do these make my flank look big?"
>Look over, then look away
"No, they don't."
>She smiles
>Rarity puts clothes away
>Somehow, you're more comfortable when she's not wearing clothes then when she is
>Ponies are weird.
>she returns and sits down
"You know what this means?"
>Here we go again
>You shake your head
"We can talk about boys!"
>Facepalm
>Rarity begins some awkward conversations
>Answer them the best you can
>Either she's depraved or she's just over-emphasizing your gayness
>You don't like either
>Especially the last one
 
"...You managed to fit it all in?"
>Jesus christ
>Rarity makes a motion with her forelegs, about 2 feet across
"Ahaha! Not even!"
>She makes the space between her hooves smaller
"Smaller."
>Closer together
"Smaller!"
>Much closer together
"That's about right."
>Rarity and you giggle
>Rarity confirmed for girlfriend status.
>Not that kind of girl-friend, your "gurl"friend.
>Finally, you two get some sleep
>Restless night
>The realization now begins to set in
>You may never go back to your world again
>No more cute guys
>Your penis is sad
>But mostly you're sad
>You just hope that this is all just a bad dream
>An entertaining bad dream
>More like a neutral dream
>Slowly drift into a dark, dreamless sleep.
>You wake up
>Not in your room
>Ceiling is too bright for you to have been seduced last night
>So the pony stuff is real
>Look over and see a pony
>Well, that answers that question.
 
>Rarity soon wakes up
>Sweetie Belle cooks breakfast
>why
 
>Later, Rarity introduces you to her friends
>She smiles and winks at you
"You know, there are some cute colts and stallions that I could set up with."
>Are you shitting me
"I just got here!"
>She shrugs
"Your loss."
>She doesn't seem to even care that you're not a pony
>That's a bit odd
>Maybe all ponies are like that?
>You met Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy
>They are all pretty cool
>Rainbow Dash is such a dyke though
>LOL
>They welcome you to ponyville
>Twilight seems more intent on learning about you and where you come from
>You help her out but eventually Rarity steps in as you've been talking to her for hours
"Twilight dear, our friend Anon here needs rest. He needs his beauty sleep!"
>Twilight sighs, but thanks you for the time and leaves
>You're going to need to talk to the princess eventually
>You hope everything goes ok.
>Later that day
>You walk down the street
>See ponies walking to and fro
>Now that people know about you, they don't stare as much
>Well, except the kids
>Anyway as you walk you just look around
>Then, you see something
>Your heart stops
>It's the most perfect stallion you could possibly imagine.
 
>You look over at the stallion
>Ok, he's a little young for a "stallion", but he seems like a young adult
>like early 20's
>Difficult to tell with ponies
>He has an adorable little head (mane?) of brown hair
>His fur-coat is a nice, natural tan color
>He has 3 horseshoes on his flank as his cutie-mark
>He is fucking cute.
>You turn to Rarity, and whisper to her
"Who is THAT?"
>She looks over at him and then back to you, with an odd look
"Oh? He's Caramel. But why do you want to-" She stops and then gives you a bit of a cheeky smile
>You glare at her
>She laughs
"Oh come on Anon, I thought you said that you 'just got here'!"
"I just want to talk to him."
"Then go talk to him!" Rarity replies, giggling
>You sigh and stand up straight
>You begin to walk
>Caramel is going about his business
>But he does it in a very sensitive, shy kind of way
>It's so damn attractive
 
>You approach Caramel
>He doesn't seem to notice you
>You are really nervous to speak up
>You don't want to blow your first meeting with this guy
>He trots away
>You follow, after shooting a glance at Rarity
>She's flirting with some other stallion
>God fucking dammit Rarity
>Caramel soon stops at a outdoor restaurant
>All the outside tables are taken, Caramel sits alone
>Now's your chance!
>You approach the waiter if you can get a table
>He says they are all out
>Ask if you may sit with Caramel
"Well... Sure, as long as he is alright with it."
>You really hope so
>The waiter brings you over and talks to Caramel
>Caramel nods slowly, and awkwardly looks at you
>You sit down
>He buries his face in the menu
>God this is so awkward
>You decide to strike up a conversation
 
"Hey... there. You."
>You were going to say his name, but it would be even more awkward if you just said his name without getting acquainted
>He doesn't seem to notice or is ignoring you
"Uhmmm..." You say, then notice his bright green saddlebag
"Oh, like your saddlebag." You say, hoping to get a reaction
>It seems to work
>He looks out from behind the menu
"You like it?" He asks, putting a hoof over it
>You nod furiously
"I love it! It's very colorful."
>He smiles and blushes a little
>Flattery will get you everywhere
>Just then waiter comes
>Asks for drinks and order
>Caramel asks for some daffodil shit
>You get an idea
 
>The waiter looks at you
>You smile
"I'll take the grilled horse."
>Gasps, Caramel gives you a horrified look
>You start to laugh
>slam your fist against the table in laughter
"ahahahHAHAA"
>Caramel looks around, blushing as other ponies see you acting so stupidly
>But you can't stop now
"Oh- oh man. You should have saw your face!" You say
>Silence
>The smell of tomato sauce is rising
"...Sorry. I'll just have a salad please."
>The waiter nods quietly, takes the menu, and leaves
>After he is gone, the other ponies continue their conversations
>Caramel is dead quiet, and without a menu to hide with he just looks away blushing
>He's really embarrassed
>You're pretty embarrassed yourself.
"Hey.. I'm sorry about that. I thought that was funny."
"Eating a sentient creature is never funny."
>You blink
>That was much faster and more aggressive of a response that you expected
>Well shit
>You just sit there awkwardly
>Food comes, you eat the vegetables in silence
>Doesn't help you actually want to eat some good meat right about now
>Not that kind of meat you faggot this is serious
>Caramel finishes before you, and just sits there
>You feel really terrible right now
>Sit in silence
>Waiter comes
"That will be 14 Bits for the both of you."
>You pull out your wallet
>Wait shit, what the fuck is a bit?
>You look over at Caramel
>He rolls his eyes
"I guess I got this."
>The way he says it really breaks your heart
>Dammit, why did it have to be this way
 
>He gets up from the table after paying, and trots off without much regard for you
>You don't want to bother him, but you can't just let him go without saying your sorry
>You walk after him and soon call
"Caramel!"
>He freezes and turns around, looking up at you with a strange look
>Partially a mix of confusion, surprise, and a sheer chunk of annoyance.
"H- How do you know my name?"
>Oh goddammit
 
>You blink at Caramel
"Rarity told me. Look, I'm sorry about what happened back-"
"Wait, you know Rarity?"
>You nod
"Oh. Well she's my friend too. We don't talk much though, but I though you were just some random stranger..."
>You look at him
"Well, she wanted me to meet you so..."
>Caramel snaps his gaze up and blushes, before turning around and talking quickly
"Oh ok, don't worry about what happened back there bye!"
>Woah wait what the fuck
"Hey wait up!" You call and follow
>He starts to trot faster
>You try to keep up
>He bolts
>You cannot keep up
>You slow to a stop
>Damn. Horses sure are fast.
>You look around and slowly find your way back to Carousel Boutique.
>As you come inside, you see Rarity
"Hello Anon! How'd it go?"
>You shoot her a look
"Oh no! That's terrible Anon." She says with a frown on her face
"Yeah, it was pretty bad."
>She looked up at you
"What went wrong, Anon?"
"Well, I told him you wanted me to meet him so I..."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
>Oh man you've never heard her voice like that before.
"What? What did I do?!"
>Rarity starts to breath heavy
"Out of all the things that could happen...
This is THE
WORST
POSSIBLE
THING!"
>Wow, what a drama queen
>Still, you have no idea what she means
"Rarity, what did I do?"
>She looks up at you, still concerned
"It wasn't your fault dear, it's just that... Well I told Caramel I'd help him with something a few weeks ago."
>You blink
"I told him I'd help him find a big strong stallion. He told me in secret he's been craving a big, strong, powerful stallion, and because you mentioned me..."
"...He thought I was the stallion you recommended to him?"
>She nods
"Well shit. What am I supposed to do about it?"
>She smiles at you
"I don't know dear.. Maybe you should be a big, powerful stallion?"
>What?
"I don't understand."
>Rarity grins at you
"Come come, I think you need a makeover..."
 
>Rarity drags you into her workshop
>She begins sizing you while asking you about fashions from your world
>You try your best
>Hours pass
>She puts down her instruments and sighs
"Alright, Anon, go to sleep. Your outfit will be ready tomorrow."
>Alright.
 
>You sleep
>You dream
>In your dream, you feel like you're still in your bed
>You feel yourself shift, it's getting hotter
>You feel the body-heat of another
>You are laying atop something that's alive
>You're smelling the brown mane before you
"oohhh Anon~"
>That voice
>You awake with a raging boner
>Well shit
 
>You eat a light breakfast
>Thankfully, Sweetie Belle didn't make it.
>You thank Rarity, and you ask her if you can help around the Boutique today, at least to lunch
>She accepts, but only because she worked hard on your outfit.
>You take out garbage, mop floors, and help her do laundry whenever she asks
>She insists, and gives you a small payment of bits
>You suppose thats fine
>Soon, it's lunch time
>Rarity wishes you luck
>You're not going to fuck it up this time.
 
>That Lunch-time
 
>You strut on down to that place where you ate lunch yesterday
>You see Caramel walk up, and sit down again
>Same as yesterday.
>You approach, and look over yourself one last time
 
>Rarity hooked you up
 
>You are wearing a very high quality pinstripe suit
>Very well fitting
>You look like the manliest gay-man ever
>Excellent
 
>You walk up to the chair, Caramel is too busy reading the menu
>You clear your throat and speak
"Don't mind if I sit here, do you, friend?"
>He looks up, surprised at seeing you again
>He seems a bit embaressed
"...Can I sit here again, please?" You say, much less confident then before
>He nods
>You sit down
>Alright step one check
>You look over at him and smile
>He smiles back and has a bit of a blush
"Hello. I'm glad to meet you again. I'm sorry about what happened yesterday, I was just new to town and I needed to get adjusted is all."
>He nods slowly
>Everything is turning out better then expected
>You order another dish, this one more complete
>You and Caramel eat
"..What was your name? You never told me yesterday."
"Anonymous, but you can just call me Anon."
"Will do, mister Anon."
>You smile
 
>Later, the waiter brings the check
>Caramel reaches for his saddle-bag
>You stop him and pull out your own bits and give them to the waiter
>He seems impressed
>You only have like one to two bits left, but it was worth it
>Caramel thanks you and asks you to walk him home
>You walk Caramel down the Ponyville streets
>He tells you a little about himself
>You don't talk much
>He talks about his job, he gets up at a wierd hour in the night to got to work
>He does something with the businesses of Ponyville in the morning, though you don't quite catch it
>he leads you to his house
>Turns out he is Rarity's neighbor
>You and him both walk up to the doorstep
>He unlocks and opens the door
>He looks back at you
>You look down and smile
"Good night. Or good afternoon, Caramel."
>He smiles at you, and then takes a step forward like he is going to do something
>But then he steps back and just gives you a nod
>He blushes and retreats inside quickly
>You feel pretty good about yourself
>You put your hands in your pockets and whistle a tune as you walk back to the boutique
>You open the door to the boutique and keep looking outside before you go in completely
>You hear clopping behind you
>You then hear Rarity speak
"How'd it go?"
>You turn around and give a girly fucking squee
>Like seriously your genitals should be removed for that smack against all things masculine
>But do you know how many fucks you give?
>
>That many, right there.
>Rarity squees back and you close the door and excitedly come inside
>You talk to Rarity for a while, and you really thank her for the nice dress
>She loves to hear all about it
>You have your "girl talk" and soon its time for more work, dinner, then bed
>You go to sleep that night
>Your dreams were strange again
>As you awake, the only thing you remember are a trio of blue horseshoes...
