Title:           Love and Powerlifting 2
Author:          LoveandPowerlifting
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/9m2JpuGW
First Edit:      Wednesday 22nd of April 2015 03:47:57 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Thursday 4th of June 2015 07:42:41 AM CDT

BE Luna
>Today is another wonderful, amazing day!
>Court had just finished up, you had added twenty pounds to your glute bridges, and now you were going to go to the royal kitchen to make a cake
>And not just any cake!
>No
>You were gonna make a coltfriend cake!
>For Anon
>Because he was totally yours, Celestia's, and Cadence's coltfriend right now
>And whenever a colt and a mare entered into a relationship with each other one had to make a coltfriend cake
>Said cake showing the colt that you really loved him and showed that you could do things like cook so maybe you'dbethebestmaremareintheworldtoloveandcuddlehimuntilthetwoofyourgrewoldtogether!
>Layingdownthescience.BillNyetheScienceGuy
>And, as luck would have it, you knew how to whip up a pretty mean cake if you do say so yourself
>It was almost bucking expected with how much that sister of yours devoured the stuff
>...Tubby, tubby, /TUBBY/ Tia...
>You had told Anon come to the castle in a few hours for a "surprise" so you didn't have much time to waste!
>You had flour to shift and butter churn and cream to stir and all of that cooking jargon!
>After shooing the kitchen staff out of the kitchen (both by asking politely and yelling when a few of them got huffy) you looked around and surveyed the area with a deep breath
>Alright Luna! This was for all of the cookies!
>You had to make an awesome cake to show Anon just how much you lov--er, liked-liked him!
>And what the hay went well with cake-making?
>A motherbucking song that's what!
" Add a little sugar, add a little salt; We might make a little mess but it's not all our fault!"
>Your flanks sways left to right as you magic pots and pans up onto counters
"'Cause you see my heart's on fire, I want to scream and shout! I got the colt of my dreams and that's why I'm bakin' now!"
>Grabbing a microphone (aka a wooden spoon) you stand up on your back legs, bobbing and weaving in what you guessed was one of the most amazing dances in history as you throw open one of the kitchen's many refrigerators
" I might not be the cutest, I might not step in tune, but I can make one heck of a cake... "
>You pause midstep, struggling to think of something that rhymed with cake
>...
>...
"Something something bake and SHAKE!"
>10/10
>Nailed it
>Sticking your muzzle into the fridge you toss a bag of flour over your shoulder, bouncing it off your back, launching it into the air with a flick of your tail, where it ended on top of a counter with a thud
>MLGprofilly.420BLAZE
"Add a little sugar, add a little salt; when Anon see my cake skillz my silly sister's going to salk!"
>A box of eggs, a bag of sugar, some vanilla, and a few other secret ingredients find themselves thrown through the air and onto the counter via moon bottom airplanes, each and ever one of the landing safe and whole on the counter
>'Cause you were a bucking BOSS like that!
"For you see I'm the best cake maker, there's not a single doubt; yes I'm the greatest baker, but now I'm ten times as great, 'cause I hooked up with Anon and we had the greatest date!"
>Slamming the fridge, you spin around
>Alright!
>Time to end this little song of your's with a motherbucking POWER SLIDE!
>With a running start you hit your knees and lean back as far as you can while you grab your wooden spoon with both of your hooves and put that shit to your mouth
"And you best--"
>You slide for about three feet before one of your knees hit something
"Oh mother buc--"
>Your face hits the floor with a painful thud, sending you end over end
>You try to catch yourself, cursing the whole while, with your hooves but it somehow only increases your roll speed
"Oh damnati-umph!"
>What was supposed to be the power slide of the century had now turned into you rolling around on the floor like a bucking idiot
>...At least no one else was here to see this...
>That didn't make this hurt any less though
>Yep, you were on one heck of a painful ride
>And it looked like the ride was never--
THUD!
>You groan as you crash into one of the counters, your flank almost touching the tip of your horn as you find body violently stopped in place, your head spinning and your body in pain
"...Ow"
 
BE CELESTIA
>Walking through your castle with your assistant Raven by your side
>"--And after that we need to talk to that diplomat from the Minotaur tribes, Highness. We've been ignoring him for days and he--"
>Though the look on your face was the picture of serenity and majesty you're about ready to go and headbutt a wall
>Holy horseapples was this boring
>BOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
>...But you were a princess of Equestria
>And a princess of Equestria did not headbutt walls
>...No matter how much she wanted to
>And even if paperwork and kissing up to diplomats and all of that biz was boring and tedious work you still had to do it
>Being a princess wasn't all sunshine and harems full of hunky stallions (though you were happily taken for the moment so you didn't need no other stallions), all of this stuff might have sucked but it was what ran the kingdom and--
>You stop in the middle of the hallway as a very particular scent hits your nose
>thesnarkhassmelledblood
>Raven, seeing that she was no longer walking beside you and sticking papers in your face, stopped
>"Is there something wrong your Majesty?" she asked, adjusting her glasses
>You raise your muzzle into the air and take a big whiff
>Bloodhoundpowersactivate!
>Your poor, poor assistant watches in tired resolution as you crouch lower to the ground, your sniffer sniffing, slowly making your way down the hall and toward that yummy smell
>"Princess, we still have a lot of work to do today!" Raven cries as you walk past her
"I can't right now, Raven my dear. Right now I'm on the hunt."
>Raven blinks in confusion before shaking her head
>"But what about the Minotaur diplomat?"
"Just dump Blueblood on him. My nephew will be more than capable of handling whatever grievances, concerns, or news the Minotaur's have for us."
>Raven opens you mouth but you immediately shush her
>Dis here filly needs to be quiet
>If she keeps yelling like this she might scare it away...
"Raven my dear, just put all of that paperwork in my office and I'll have it done for you by tonight."
>Though Raven looks like she wants to argue she simply nods
>"As you command, Highness," she says. "But could you please tell me what you are /hunting/?"
>You lift your head up from the floor and smile at the young unicorn
>And what a predatory smile it was
"Cake my dear Raven," you say as Raven rolls her eyes. "I'm hunting cake."
>Mayourhuntbefruitful.jpg
 
BE CHEF WOONA
>You rub your hooves together as you take the last cake out from the oven and put it on the cooling rack
>The kitchen looked like a war zone, with batter and flour on the counters and floors and the sinks stacked high with dirty dishes
>Somepony was going to be /so/ mad when they had to clean all of this up...
>But that didn't matter!
>Among this battlefield of sugars and artificial sweeteners you were the sole being standing
>The victor standing atop a mountain of the defeated!
>After about an hour and a half of toying around with recipes, trying to find the consistence, and after tossing out a dozen cakes you had three circular slabs of cake of various sizes laid out before you
>And each one of them was absolutely, utterly perfect
>The perfect size, the perfect smell; not too moist and not too crumbly
>These three cakes right where were the result of /all/ of your cooking skills
>This was the best thing you've ever baked and it was probably going to be the best you've ever baked
>With a happy squee, you take a step back and throw off your Kiss the Cook apron
>Anon was going to /love/ this bucking cake!
>But all was not well fr this perfection of a cake
>It still needed a few finishing touches to give it that extra 'omph'
>And it was /always/ the omph that got the colts hard soooo...
>Now you had to make the icing!
>And not just any bucking icing!
>Aw lard filly naw!
>You had to whip up some motherbucking butter cream icing!
>Dat shit was the /QUEEN/ of all icings!
>You throw some of that shit on your cake and decorate it up Anon was sure to up and marry you the second you show it to him!
>Wecakebossin'upinhere.jpg
>So now, dusting the flour and sugar off your hooves and face, you pull out another bowl, grab all of that butter that you had been letting warm up the whole time and--
>"...CAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEE..."
>You look up and scan the room
>The buck was that?
"Is someone in here?" you asked, ears twitching to and fro in an attempt to try to hear anything in what was supposed to be an empty room.
"If there is someone in here then we must ask thee to leave. We are doing something very importa--"
>"...CAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEEE..."
>Your eyes widen when you see the end of a rainbow tail disappear around a counter
>Oh buck!
>You know that tail!
>You thought your sister still had meetings today!
>Eyes wide, you magick over a rolling pin
>You knew why tubby, tubby, /tubby/ Tia was in here
>She was going to try to steal your bucking cake
>Well /BUCK/ dat!
>She wasn't getting her greasy hooves on it!
"Celestia Solar Invictus! Get out of this kitchen right now!" you yell, pushing your cakes against the end of the counter
>Out of the corner of your eye you see white blur but when you turn to get a proper look there was nothing there
>"...CAAAAAKKKKKKEEEE..."
>You feel something brush against your shoulder, and, with a snarl, you spin around and swing your rolling pin, hitting nothing but air
"NO! This cake isn't for you! Get out of here Tia!"
>You look back at the cakes, sighing in relief when you see that they're whole
>You needed to get the buck out of here!
>You knew your sister
>There was no way in Tartarus that you were going to catch her while she was stalking your babies!
>You needed to get you and your cakes out of here and--
>A golden horseshoe tries to reach up the counter for the smallest of the cakes but you bring the rolling pin down on it as hard as you can
>Dispinwillpiercetheearth.jpg
>You hear a squeal of pain and feel the rolling pin connect against something, but when you leap over the counter once again no one's there
>...Bucking ninja Tia
"We will say it once again, sister," you call, eyes carefully scanning the kitchen for any signs of big white alicorns. "This cake is not for thee. It is for Anon and--"
>"Why are you baking Anon a cake?" someone whispers
>Right. Into. Your. Bucking. Ear
>Nowsthetimeforpanick.AW
>You let out a shriek of surprise, wildly flailing your rolling pin before a golden aura surrounds it and it is wrenched out of your grasp
>"Careful Luna! You might actually hurt someone with that!"
>Heart pounding in your chest you turn to see your /BUCKING/ sister standing on top of the /BUCKING/ counter, her face covered in chocolate cake crumbs
>...
>Ohshityoudidn't!
>You heart seizes up for a moment before you push your sister off the counter, ignoring her squeak of indignation, and see that your perfect little cakes were still perfect and whole
>...
>...
>What the heck did she eat then?
>It wasn't like you had--
>...
>...
>No...
>There's no way that she'd...
"...Sister? Did thou eat the cakes we threw in the trash?"
>The anger drains out of you as you look at your sister, an immortal who had a thousand years of ruling experience under her belt, in shock
>You knew your sister liked cake but there was no way that she--
>You find yourself sighing when your sister looks away from you, her ears pinned back as she smiles sheepishly
"Sister..." you say, resisting the urge to facehoof
>What the buck was wrong with her?!
>"I...May have had a bite or two of those cakes..." she admits
>Your eye twitches
>Was this filly serious?!
>What the buck was /wrong/ with her?!
>Out of the trash? Seriou--
>No
>Calm down Luna...
"We think that thou hast a problem, sister mine," you say, pushing her out of the way and grabbing your cakes.
>While she /might/ have had her fill of garbage cakes you weren't going to put it past her to snatch these ones from you too
>After you gave this cake to Anon you were going to schedule another Cakeoholic's anonymous meeting for your sister
> 'Cause there was liking something and then were was... that...
>SweetFaustalmighty.disbelief
"Now if you will excuse us we have a cake to make."
>You didn't have time to deal with this silly filly anymore
>You still had to ice a cake!
>Setting the still slightly warm cakes down next to your warmed up butter, you grab the vanilla extract and--
>"Sister?"
"Yes, thou slayer of pastries?"
>"Why are you making a cake for Anon?"
>Not bothering to look at her, you toss all of the butter into a big bowl and grab some confectioners sugar
"We are making Anon a coltfriend cake, sister."
>Celestia walks up beside you and eyes all of your ingredients, a contemplative look on her face
>A look that you honestly didn't care for...
>"...Oh..." she says, sitting on her rump and...
>Is she giving you puppy dog eyes?!
>"Well here I thought my sister would want the /both/ of us to make a cake together for our favorite human who--"
"Thou cannot even bake, Celestia."
>You sister gets to her hooves with a smile
>Aw, /now/ you see where she's going with this!
>Naha filly!
>I see right through your /bullshit/!
>"And that's where--"
"Nay," you interupt, shaking your head with a frown. "We spent /hours/ baking these. Thou are /not/ going to just come along and try to twist it so that Anon things that we both made them"
>Your sister was Tricky tubby pony, but you were Trickier!
>You gently push your sister away from you and pour some cream into the bowl and start to mix it with the butter
"If thou wants to make a gift--"
"If thou wants to make a gift--"
>You pause when you see your sister looking at you with the biggest, saddest eyes you've ever seen
>Its a look that's toppled nations
>Its a look that's driven mares mad
>It was the dreaded royal pouty face
>And it was bucking aimed /right/ at you
>Nope
>Nopenopenopenope
>Though "the stare" tries to overcome you your will wins out
>Shaking your head you look away from your sister and frown
"...Really sister? Puppy dog eyes?"
>Your sister answers with a whimper, flopping onto her belly and crawling toward you
"Thou art a fully grown /mare/ sister!"
>You're about to push her away again you notice that your gaze was wondering back to her face
>Huh
>It looks like she still has all of those cake crumbs all over her muzzle...
>Hnnn-- no, NO!
>You /will/ resist!
"No! We both know that thou cannot cook! If We let thee help then we will be here twice as long as we need to be!"
> Grunting, you fully turn away this time, doing your best to ignore your sister, but it's no use
>You can /feel/ those eyes staring at you!
"No sister!"
>...
>"No sister! Find another way to please thy stallion, because this cake /will not/ be it!"
>You feel her muzzle brush against you leg, which almost made you drop your spoon in surprise
>Alright!
>That's bucking it!!!!
>Now you were going to put your hoof down!
>To preferably kick your sister out of this kitchen so you could finish this coltfriend cake!
"Have you no bucking shame? Get up right now and--"
>In your irritation you made the mistake of looking down and into Celestia's face
>Your sister was still looking up at you with her pouty face, but now her face was scrunched up, her lip was sticking out, and she had tears on her eyes
>....
>...Must....resist
>.....M-Must....r-esist...
>Mu--
"DAMNATION SISTER! JUST STOP!" you beg, shielding your eyes with your hooves
>It you'd have looked any more into the cutebyss you would have lost your mind
>Theeldergodshavenothingonthis.jpg
"WE WILL LET THEE HELP US WITH ANON'S CAKE! SO PLEASE JUST--"
>"Excellent!" your sister says, hopping to her hooves and...
>Did this filly just lick your nose?!
>As you scurry backwards in shock your sister walks up to the counter, levitates an apron over, puts it on, ties her mane into a neat little pony tail, and smiles at you
>"So what are we going to do first?"
>You can't help but just sit there and stare at your bright-eyed, smiling sister
"Dost thou realize that if we could we would sent thee on a one-way trip to the sun, sister?"
>You sister's smile just widens
>"Aw, I love you too lil' sis!"
>She waves you toward her
>"Now come on, this cake isn't going to bake itself!"
>The cakes are already...
>Ugh
>Bucking Tia...
 
BE ANON
>In front of the castle because Woona had insisted that you come up here to "receive a gift that thou will enjoy most immensely".
>You had tried asking her what it was when you were at the gym but the widdle Princess of the Night may as well have been a wall for all she told you
>But that was alright
>you were happy to come up here and get what ever gift she wanted to give you
>I gift that was sure to be adorable, since she was adorable, but you had /ONE/ little problem at the moment
>"Can you please identify yourself sir?"
>The motherfucking no fun allowed police (aka the pone guard) had stopped you at the front gate and thought that it'd be funny to bust your balls and not let you in
>You knew that they knew who you were, (it wasn't like there were any more humans in Poneland) but it looked like they were still upset at you for... whatever you did to them
>Cause even if you can't remember what you did to them you /know/ you did something to them
>Cause these ponies always seemed to have a stick up their ass and it was terribly funny to bother them
"Look, guys," you say while two of the little white pone's stare at you with smirks on their little horse face. "I just want to go and see the princess because--"
>"You will need to make a schedule like everyone else, sir," one of them interrupts. "Our royal highnesses are very busy ponies; they can't just see anyone willy-nilly."
>The other guard snorts, obviously trying to hold back his laughter.
>The putz
>"And you might want to wear something /nice/ when you make the appointment."
>Both of them look you up and down with barely hidden disgust
>"Why on earth a colt would wear something like that..."
>Frowning, you look down at you sleeveless shirt and sweat pants
>What the fuck was wrong with this?
>You thought you looked--
>Wait
>Why the fuck do you even care what these little horses think about your clothes?
>They don't even /wear/ clothes!
"Guys, seriously, if I don't get in there I'm going to be late for whatever Luna wants. So why don't you be bros and let me thro--"
>As you take a step forward you're blocked with spears
>"If you're so insistent on seeing the princesses then we can go and see our commanding officer and get /him/ to figure it out" one of the guards says while you take a step back
>You frown
"You know that I'm in a relationship with you rulers, right fellas?
>It wasn't a serious one (yet) but you may as well throw that out there to see it if gets them to back off
>"We have heard that you've gone on a few dates sir."
>"And you also know if Luna and Celestia find out that you've been keeping me out of the castle, keeping their /coltfriend/ out of the castle, they're going to have words with you right?"
>A guard scoffs
>"You'd need to identify us first sir," he says, smug as a bug on wall street. "And if you can't /well/... the princesses aren't going to pushing /ALL/ of the guard..."
>Your frown deepens
>Fuck
>They knew that you couldn't tell the little fuckers apart...
>And since there were like a zillion white stallions in the guard it'd be /such/ a pain to find out who these guys were..
>...Fucking crafty guard pone's...
"So you're not going to let me through then?" you demand
>Both of the little pone's shrug
>"Sorry sir, we can't do anything for you," one says.
>"Maybe next time you'll be a little more thoughtful of other ponies feelings when you come around here acting like a you're all that," the other adds
>...
>...
>Alright, fuck this
>You /tried/ playing nice
>But it appears that diplomacy has failed
>Now is the time for action!
>With a theatrical gasp you point to your left
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ODIN'S HAIRY BALL SACK IS THAT?!"
>The guards, being the curious little pone's that they are, turn to look where you pointed to
>"Who, what?!"
>Justasplanned.jpg
>Sidestepping the widdle pone's you raced down the hallway as fast as your legs could take you
>"HEY! GET THE BUCK BACK HERE!!!"
>Lol
>Silly horses
>Thinking that they can boss you around and shit
>Thank god that these widdle guards were only bird pones, otherwise your run to fight the man would end in failure /real/ quick
>"Sea Breeze, take out his legs! I'll go for his upper body!
>"He's resisting arrest! YOUR RESISTING ARREST!"
>You're under arrest?!
>Hah
>Who the hell to these pone's think they--
>You duck with a yelp as one of the little horses speeds over your head, the other pony barely missing your legs
>Oh shit!
>Gottagofast!
 
BE CELESTIA
>You always liked to think that you were a pretty smart and adaptable pony
>If you needed to learn something you'd learn it quickly and efficiently and without much of a fuss
>You needed to learn how to speak a different language?
>If you had a few weeks and a few books you'd do it with a smile
>You needed to learn how to dance?
>Easy as pie
>You were a jack of all trades, master of none and (not to toot your own horn) naturally gifted at almost everything you did
>But, to your frustration, that meant jack squat when it came to icing
>One needed to have an eye for art, a steady hoof, and the patience of a saint to ice a cake properly
>And, to your irritation, it was a heck of a lot harder than it looked
>Like really, really, /really/ harder than it looked
>Luna had had to watch you like a hawk the whole time you were icing Anon's cake, making sure that the icing was layered evenly, that the borders were nice and neat, and that the whole thing didn't just up and fall apart the second you stopped watching it
>And sweet Faust on a Pogo stick did she /yell/ whenever you messed up...
>...Though you /barely/ messed up and you just thought that she was being a grump...
>...Its not like you did this every day
>And you were trying your hardest...
> So, yep
>It was an exhausting, nerve-racking experience, but like the BOSS of a princess that you were you had that bucker finished up right before Anon was supposed to come
>Bucking Noice
>Wiping the icing off your cheek, you take a moment to appreciate the beauty before you
>Each of the cakes layers had a different colored icing on them, you had put roses and borders and all of that frilly shit that colts loved on this sucker, and to top it all off you had written, in thick yellow frosting "WE LUV U ANON!" right on top of the cake
>Your sister takes a step forward, very carefully examining your masterpiece
>...Which may have been a little crooked
>...And that bit of icing right there might have been a different color on that part of the cake
>...And you /might/ have put a whole bunch of icing on the top because you wanted to get rid of it so now the whole cake looked like it was melting
>...
>...
>Like you said
>A bucking masterpiece
>"Hmmm... It is not... terrible..." your sister says, slowly pushing the cake around
>Your chest puffs out in pride
>You're bucking right that it wasn't terrible!
>"And We are sure that Anon will enjoy no matter how it is presented... or how it looks..."
>Damn right!
>"And we can't make another with Anon about come to the castle at any moment..."
>And why would you when you had this bucking masterpiece right here!
>You're positively beaming as your sister turns to look at you, her smile... kinda off
>Almost like it was a little bit forced...
>Hah
>She must have just been impressed with your cake decorating skillz!
>"And We... thank thee sister for thy... aid."
>With a happy flap of your wings you walk over and nuzzle your sister's cheek
"I was more than happy to help, sister," you say happily, carefully picking up the cake and floating it toward you. "It was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be!"
>You chuckle when you see Luna, her eyes wide in what you assumed to be amazement, snatched the cake out of your grasp with her magic
>Silly filly must want to give it to Anon herself!
"In fact, I may go and take a cooking class or two because of this! See if I can really make something that'll knock our little human's socks off!"
>"...Thou /need/ some bucking lessons..."
"What was that, sis?"
>"...Tis nothing ,dear sister."
>Now humming a happy little tune, you skip out of the kitchen, a chef's hat on your head and an apron wrapped around you (Just so that your cooking skills could reach their full potential) with your sister in tow
>Oh you can't /wait/ for Anon to see this cake!
>He was going to be /so/ surpris--
>OH FUCKING SHI--!"
>You let out a yelp of surprise as Anonymous just comes out of nowhere and /smashes/ into you
>Your face hits his chest hard (and you somehow manage to keep from impaling him on your horn), you hear a sharp intake of breath from Anon as he stumbles forward
>The two of you grunt and swear as you roll across the floor
>"SISTER WAT--"
>Though the world is a blur, you see that you and Anon are rolling/stumbling/sliding toward your masterpiece
>Your baby
>The thing that you had worked like a dog to make perfect
>No
>Nononononono!
>Your wings try to unfurl to slow you down but Anon ways to much and you're in too awkward of an angle to properly stop yourself
>And with since your world was a spinning blur you couldn't properly cast you magic to stop either of you
>Time seemed to slow down as you and Anon got closer to the cake
>You could see your sister trying to move the cake away with her magic, a look of confused shock on your face
>You could see the surprise and discomfort and pain on Anon's face as the two of you keep smashing into each other and the cold hard floor
>Oh, better lick his cheek while you're in slow-mo!
>And, finally, you can see the looks of horror and panic, and shame on two of your guards faces
>PleasemovepleasemovePLEASEMOVELUNA!
>She doesn't move
>You let out another pained yelp as your head hits the metal plate that was holding the cake
>Said cake flies into the air as you and Anon crash into Luna, icing and bits of cake flying everywhere
>Both you and your sister try to catch the cake but miss it as it reaches its ark and begins its decent
>NONONONONONONONONONO!
>You watch as the cake starts to fall
>And fall
>And fall
>And fall
>Before smashing into you, Anon, and your sister, absolutely /covering/ you in icy, cakey deliciousness, the cake hitting Anon in the chest before the thing exploded onto you and your sister
>And you mean bucking /COVERED/
>There wasn't an /inch/ of you not covered in icing,
>You tasted icing, you smelled icing, you saw icing, heck, you /heard/ icing!
>...
>...
>Bucking shit!
>SHITSHITSHITSHIT!
>The three of you groan
>Theworldispainandsweets.jpg
>"You fucking dicks!" Anon groans through a mouthful of cake. "I just wanted to get into the /FUCKING/ castle and you had to go and be dicks!"
>You hear the anger in his voice, and it takes a few seconds to let it sink in
>...
>...
>These two guards, your little ponies, had somehow made Anon crash into you
>It was their fault that you, your sister, and Anon in pain and covered in cake
>....
>....
>MOTHERBUCKERFUCKINGSHITDAMNPISS!
>Thisisonlygoingtoendinpain.jpg
>You don't remember untangling yourself from your sister or Anon, but you do remember standing over your two guards, your eyes blazing and your mane on fire
"You two bucked up," you say simply before baring your teeth
>You guards back away but you hold them in place with your magic
"You bucked up real bad."
 
BE GUARD PONE #233
>...Well, this wasn't one of your best days
>Where did that monkey get the /nerve/ to go and ignore your authority!
>You worked hard to get where you were!
>And don't even get you started on all of the other shit that you had to deal with!
>You were a stallion dammit!
>And you couldn't. work. like. this!
>You know what?!
>You were going to go to the pony resources mare and complain!
>See how the princesses like /that/!
>Them and their weird monkey colt...
>"Sea Breeze?"
>You look up at your partner, then up at the earth above you
>To be fair... it was kind of pretty seeing your planet like this
>This as still the highest level of bull but at least it was pretty
>Humph
>Princess Celestia wouldn't even get in trouble for this, you just /knew/ it!
>Damned matriarchy
>Those stallionest were right!
"Yes Hoplite?"
>"I don't like the moon..."
>With a sigh you kick a moon rock, watching as it floated through the air and out into space
"I don't like it either Hoplite. I don't like it at all."
>Hey, at least you knew that the princess, once she calmed down, was sure to magick you back to back to the castle...
>...
>...
>She'd b-bring you b-back, r-right?
>Oh sweet Faust you hoped that she's teleport you back...
>Wedarksideofthemoonnow.jpg
 
BE ANON
>...
>...
>Holy shit
>Celestia just murdered those little pone's with her super god horse powers!
>Right in front of you!
>There was a crater in the floor and everything was smoking and /all/ of that jazz!
>...
>...
>...You don't know how you feel about this...
>3hardcore5me
>Luna, seeing the mental battle raging on in your head on your face, taps the side of your head with a hoof
>"Fear not, Anon," she says, untangling herself from you and rising to her hooves with a grunt. "Our sister did not slay those guardponies."
>Uwutm8?
>Didn't she /see/ the smoking crater?!
>Or that fact that her sister was /still/ on /fire/ a second ago?!
>Sunny Buns went super sayian god on those suckers!
>"If she had ended them We would have felt their life-forces leave this plane and enter the beyond."
>...Really?
>Huh, neat
>You were still a little... /nervous/ about your safety but that was neat
>Wonder how Moon horse learned something like that...
>Luna shakes her head, sending cake flying everywhere
>"We are sure that our sister just sent them somewhere else so she didn't do anything that she'd later regret."
>You look over to the cake covered and panting Celestia, whose mane was still just a little bit on /fire/, glaring at the hole in the ground that she had just made with a growl
>Holy hell did sun pone look angry...
"...Alright then," you say as Luna helps you to a sitting position, picking up what was left of the cake from your chest and tossing it away from the two of you
>Grimacing, you look down at your cake covered self and then at the floor and walls around you that had gotten a cake-y coating
>Looked like a fucking cake bomb had gone off in this joint...
>Allahu cakebur
>Looks like the maids were going to /earn/ those fucking paychecks today
>Once again you find yourself looking at sun horse, who still hadn't moved an inch
"So is she going to be alright or--"
>"ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
>You cover your ears with your hands as Celestia throws up her head, closes her eyes, and shouts to the heavens with all of the force in her little pone body
>Since, apparently, was a fuckton
>It almost felt like a cannon is going off right beside you
>This yell wasn't just loud, it also shook you to your fucking core
>It takes your breath away, makes your eyes rattle in your skull, and it's damn near loud enough to burst your fucking ear drums, even with you doing your best to cover your ears
>Dat shit was loud son
>Loud enough to move you backwards a couple of feet
>Holyfuckingshitmyearsarebleeding.jpg
>The walls shake as Sunny Buns shouts long and loud, Luna off to the side shaking her head in irritation
>"Sister..."
>"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR--"
>"Sister..."
>GGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH--"
>"If thou continue to use the Canterlot Royal scream thou may end up hurting Anon."
>Celestia's eyes snap open and her mouth snaps shut as she looks at you in panic
>"Oh shoot!" she yelled, bounding toward you. "Anon!"
>You grunt as she tackles you back to a prone position, those purple eyes of hers looking you over with worry
>"ANON! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! OH HORSEAPPLES I--"
>Sweet Jesus Christ does this fucking yelling need to stop!
>Still gritting your teeth, you grab clamp Celestia's mouth with a hand
"Stop. Yelling. Please," you demand (probably a lot louder than you meant), smearing cake all over her mouth
>God dammit
>Now all you can hear is ringing...
>"Dost thou feel a little bit better now sister?" Luna asked, using her pone magic to fix whatever the fuck was wrong with your ears
>"Thmepreeo!" Celestia replied, your hand still firmly clamped over her mouth, where it was going to fucking stay
>That mouth was dangerous!
>And scream-y!
>And--
>You see Luna sighing to herself as Celestia's tongue wiggles itself from in between your fingers, licking the cake off a bit of your hand before returning to the mouth from whence it came, before popping out somewhere else
>...Was she really licking the cake off of your hand right now?!
>Eh, at least it's not as her yelling...
>And she looks a bit happier now that...
>Huh
>This filly must /really/ like herself some cake...
>...
>...
>Holy hell was that tongue of her's long...
>"Sister... thou really has no shame dost thou?"
>Celestia's eyes are filled with mirth as she continues to lick your hand, removing her mouth the second she cleans your grabber off, then going to lick the cake off of your forearm
>Shouldthedongexpand?.exe
>"Shame?" Celestia purred before giggling and pulling you into a hug. "Why have something as silly as shame when I have my little human right here to tease until the cows come home."
>Heh
>Bitch
>Shaking your head you return the hug
>You'd think that she was teasing you just for lolz if not for the fact that she damn near looked ready to cry...
>These two silly ponies must have been working on that cake for a while if they were this pissed off about it getting destroyed...
>You can't help but wonder what they doing running around with it out in the halls like this as you run your hands up and down Celestia's cake-y back
>While the feeling of bits of cake and icing on fur might have grossed you out any other day right now you couldn't care less
>All three of you were cakemen right now; so getting any messier really wasn't a possibility
>And right now you had a pone to cheer up
"So do you feel better after that little freak out or are you going to keep yelling?" you ask, closing an eye as Celestia's cakey-chest tuft squishes against your face
>She tries to giggle but it sounds far too forced for your taste
>The shit damn near sounded like a sob
>"I apologize if I scared you, Anon," Sun horse says while Luna, sensing her sister's poor mood, walks over and nuzzles her cheek. "Luna and I had been working on that cake all day and to see if just destroyed..."
>She sighed
>"Sister, would you be so kind as to remind me to collect those guardponies after the three of us clean this cake off? I need to apologize to those two for my unforgivable actions.... They did not deserve what I did to them... "
>Luna nods before an irritated frown comes to her face
>"Sister... did thou send thy guards to our moon?"
>Celestia's ears pin back against her skull
"...Yes... But I can bring them back! I swear!"
>You see Luna's eye twitch before she once again leans in and nuzzles her sister comfortingly
>"...Though we would be irritated any other day we think that thy actions are warranted this time."
>It was Moon horse's turn to let out a miserable sigh
>"All of that hard work..."
>...
>...
>Wait a minute!
>Did they make that cake /for you/?!
>...
>...
>Aw
>They made a cake for you!
>God was that fucking sweet!
>...Though it looked like you went and ruined it by running through the halls without looking like a fucking putz...
>Man
>The bad feels were awellin'
>The two princesses slump further against the floor, both looking frustrated, defeated, but above all, sad
>And you don't like you no sad little princess pones
"Come on guys, I don't never need a gift," you say, patting both of their heads. "I'm just touched that you went ahead and made a cake for me ass."
>Goodideaincoming.jpg
"And besides--"
>Celestia gasped as you scooped a bit of cake from her side and popped it into your mouth
>...Huh
>It's a heck of a lot better than you thought it'd be after being on the floor and in a pone's coat and all of that shit...
"It's not like we still can't eat this fucking thing."
>With a joking smile you gesture to your cake splattered self
>"Since we're covered in it and all..."
>Your grin widens when you see blushes explode on both of the princesses cheeks, both mare's looking away from you shyly
>Heh
>It looked like ol' Celly could dish the teasing out but couldn't--
>"...You know... thou art right dear Anon."
>Wut?
>You blink in confusion as Luna turns back to you with a lewd smile on her face
>"And it /would/ be far more entertaining than simply showering off~"
>Before you could ask her what she meant her horn sparkled to life and the three of you were gone in a flash of light
 
>This was the first time that you've ever been teleported before, something that was probably a breeze for the average little pone (maybe even enjoyable), but you could honestly say that you didn't care for it
>Nope
>You didn't care for it one bit
>One second (a second that felt like a fucking YEAR mind you) you couldn't see or breath and it felt like the world was spinning in all directions
>And it that wasn't bad enough, after ALL of THAT SHIT everything had just kind of... crashed together
>Violently
>It honestly felt like you got sucker punched in the SOUL
>So all-in-all dis shit was ROUGH
>The second you popped to wherever Luna had teleported you dropped to one knee, the whole world spinning and colors swirling and...
>Ugh
>Nopenopenope
>Gonna fucking hurl!
>You felt someone lay a wing over you as you put your head onto the floor and did your best to curl into the fetal position while kneeling
>"Anon, are you alright?" you heard Sun horse say.
"First time... teleporting," you rasp you, praying to every god listening for the world to stay the fuck still
>Celestia Ohhhh's rubbing your back with a hoof
>"Don't worry, my little human, the first time is always the worst."
"Uggggghhhhhh! Stoooommmmacccccchhhh."
>"That's normal," she said, looking at you with her head cocked to the side. "Did Twilight really never teleport you around?"
>You shut your eyes as tightly as you could and rub the sides of your head with your hands
>Slowly but surely you were feeling less and less sick to your stomach, but it was going to be a fucking WHILE before you'd be able to do more than lay here and try not to puke
"I always... told her that... I'd... prefer walking."
>Man
>Fucking Woona
>What the hell was she even doing?
>"Sister! What in the name of Tartarus did you do that for?!" Sun horse demanded, stomping a hoof against the ground. "Anon here is a delicate creature--"
>You were no-- ugh...
>Just keep breathing, JUST KEEPING BREATHING!
>IF YOU KEEP BREATHING YOU'LL BE GOLDEN PONY-BOY!
>You had no desire to throw up right now.
>"--and you KNOW that you can't teleport a stallion without his permission! You're a princess, not some barbarian!"
>You hear a muffled clip clopping come from in front of you
>"Anon? Art thou alright?"
>Taking a deep breath you force your eyes to open and lift your head up just a bit, where you find a pair of pretty blue eyes staring back at you
>When you don't answer Woona shuffles in place, those blue eyes of hers quickly filling with worry
>"...Anon?"
>Aw, that sad look of hers was fucking painful man
>Damn near as painful as what was going on in your belly even
>Biting back a groan, you reach up and pull the widdle princess closer, cupping her cheeks with your hands, damn near falling over in the process
"Hey! I'm alright, I'm alright! I'm just a little dizzy is all."
>You weakly smile, giving the royal cheeks a reassuring squeeze
"Just make sure to warn me next time before you do any kind of shit like that alright?"
>Don't throw up in her face nigga
>DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT!
>You pat her cheek as she nods, once again closing your eyes and curling back into your little safety ball
>"We apologize, Anonymous," she says, leaning down and nuzzling the top of your head. "We got excited and forgot ourselves."
>Excited was fucking right sis--
>No!
>No thinking!
>Just fucking breath
>So sayth the magic conch!
>When the world feels like it's not moving so damned much you open your eyes, sit up, and once again stare at the pretty pone princess
>It looked like the world finally stopped fucking spinning
>Thank god
>Now you could actually see where the Luna took you
"Yeah, I was wondering about the whole teleporting thing..."
>In the blink of an eye Luna changes from nervous and even a little bit sad to bright red and nervous
>"WeneedtospeaktooursisterforamomentAnon!" Moon horse cries, leaping past you, yanking her sister into the air with her magic, and disappeared from your field of vision
>Ugh
>I'mgettingtoooldforthisshit.jpg
>With a grunt, you struggle to your feet and look around
>Apparently Luna had teleported you into your room...
>Why?
>...Aw, you were getting icing all over this fancy ass ru--
>"What the buck are you talking about Luna?!"
>You stop your snoo--er, investigating to look at what appeared to be a bathroom door
>"Sister thou should keep thy voice down. We are sure that Anon does not want to hear our bickering."
>Hey now
>Moon Horse shouldn't go and put words into peoples mouth
>You might actually enjoy listening to some bickering
>Especially if that bickering was about you
>Curious, you slowly make your way toward the door and press your ear against it
>And no, you weren't dropping no ease
>...You were just trimming the hedges
>The... bathroom hedges...
>Yep
>"Cadence had her turn with him! Why can we have a little fun with our favorite human?"
>"Because we need to let him do--"
>"The rutting."
>"Will you bucking keep it down?! Anon's going to get upset if he hear us!"
>You hear Luna scoff
>"If you wish us to put a spell on the door we would have happily done so."
>NO!
>You were just getting to the good part!
>...And also, what the fuck Woona
>Horny Night horse is pretty fucking horny
>"That's not what I'm upset about and you bucking know it!!!"
>"And, pray tell, is thy problem sister?"
>"Why are we even talking about this?! And why aren't /I/ the one suggesting this Miss Blushy Hooves?!"
>Though you can't see her, you /feel/ Luna shrugging
>"We were simply worried about how Anon would feel about Us as a mare. We are still unfamiliar with how to court colts nowadays."
>You hear Luna sigh
>"And... we might have also been a little less confident than We would have liked... But we plan to change all of that!"
>The entire room seems to shake as Luna stomps her hoof down hard
"We have found a wonderful colt, a colt that We care deeply for and who cares for us. And since the two of us love and care for each other why
not proceed with the rutting? We are all grown, sensible creatures here and thou never know when the next world-ending calamity will happen next, sister mine."
>Celestia growls but keeps her piece as Luna continues
>"Even though we are gods our time may be limited on this plane, so why not enjoy it to its fullest? Why not live and love and rut to our hearts content? It hurts not a soul... and decides, We hath hungered for the touch of a male for more than a thousand years, we NEED this... so long as Anon's willing of course."
>You hear let out an angry little whinny (since sounded ADORABLE by the way) stomping her own widdle hoof down
>"This is NOT how ponies do things now, Sister, they--"
CLANG!
>You yelp in surprise as the door is covered in a blueish, eletrict-y glow
"Fucking shit!" you say in disappointment, scooting away from the door
>Dammit
>You REALLY wanted to hear what those two had to say...
>But noooo
>No snoop-- er, hedge trimming for you
>And speaking about trimming the hedges in the middle of the night how about that Moon horse huh?
>Sweet Jesus did Luna just come out of left field with THAT shit
>You don't know how to feel about it honestly...
>A small, thoughtful frown works its way onto your face as you walk over and sit on Moona's bed, not giving a FUCK as you get icing and cake everywhere
>...
>...
>You know what?
>You were going to be an adult and hear Luna out
>She was kinda, sorta, pretty much your girlfriend at the moment
>And it had been a while since you've had any... relations with anyone so you could do with some release
>So if Celestia didn't BTFO out of her you'd hear her out
>Soooooo...
>Now you were just going to sit here and just wait for them to finish their little conversation...
>HAH!
>Fuck that shit!
>Bitches better start calling you snoopie
>'Cause you're looking through 'erybodies shit!
 
 
"--And you're bucking lucky that Anon isn't out there scream his head off right now! He must think the two of us are in here planning on which is the best way to hold him down and--"
>You stay silent as your sister continues to chew you out about this and that
>Not that you had listened to a word she had said after the first five minutes or so
>You were just standing there, doing your best to keep a straight face as you let your mind wonder while you watched your sister's face contort this way and that
>Truth be told it was rather amusing to see her so worked up
>Did she not tease and wave her flank at stallions almost daily?
>Did she not proposition Anon at every turn?
>She was the alpha mare when you were all kidding around but when you out and tell her that you want to have relations with your coltfriend she crumbles like a piece of paper
>Hah
>Hah you say!
>You, her, and Cadence (as far as you were concerned) were Anon's special someponies
>And you all had known each other for months and months
>AND you've seen Anon's dreams
>His dirty, dirty, DIRTY dreams
>Dat colt wanted the V almost as badly as you wanted the D
>And your bucking sister, acting all high and mighty, was no better than you!
>Why the hay couldn't you just look your sister in the eye and ask her if she wanted to double team a colt while the three of you covered in cake?
>Was that really too much to ask?
>Where was your old sister, the mare that would have dozens of stallions pleasing her while the two of you drank ale and wine straight from the barrels of conquered enemies?
>Had modern mares lost the courage of their forefathers?!
>Had Celestia lost the strength that had helped forge a nation?!
>Sweet Faust it wasn't like you were talking about fighting some world-ending demon!
>You just wanted to have sex with Anon!
>And were you bucking nervous about asking Anon for some sweet, sweet lovin'?
>Buck yeah!
>Did it take every fiber of your being to keep your composure whilst trying your very hardest to be sexy?
>Without a doubt!
>But were you going to mare the buck up and do horrible, sexual things to Anon?
>YES!
>ABSOLUTELY!
>OF BUCKING COURSE!
>Because you were a mare!
>You paid taxes and wrestled bears and got shit done!
>So you were going to go out there, look Anon in the eye, and tear dat shit up!
>But first you needed to remind your sister that she used to be a mare with a pair of brass overies!
>That she used to be a barbarian queen that could take any stallion that she wanted to bed!
>"--Now the two of us are going back out that and we're going to apologize to Anon! Hopefully he hasn't ran out yet and--"
>Oh?
>Your sister was still talking?
>Ain't nobody got time for dat!
>Frowning, you reach back like those zebras in those rappity songs told you do and you "slap 'da shit out o' that filly!"
>You feel a Pimp's satisfaction as your hoof connects against your big Sis's cheek with a meaty smack, instantly silencing her
"Sister, shut thy trap and listen," you say.
>Celestia blinks and touches her cheek, wide-eyed and with a mouth opened in shock, but keeps her mouth shut under your withering glare
>Buck yeah!
>Alphamare4life.jpg
"Here's what we're going to do..."
 
 
>Fun fact about Woona's room: dis filly LOVED the fucking night
>Who'd of thunk it right?
>All around her room were maps of stars, big bronze, heavy-looking instruments that looked like they were supposed to be on a ship of some kind, and one of the biggest motherfuckin' telescopes that you've ever done seen
>And seeing a big powerful telescope that had a marvelous overview of the whole city just a few feet away from you you did the only thing that seemed appropriate thing at the time
>You started peepin' tomming it up nigga!
>Rubbing your hands together you ran over and start a wondrous search
>A search to find widdle pones doing horrible/silly/adorable things in the privacy of their own homes
>Hmmm...
>There were a shit load of widdle ponies walking around minding their own business, buying, chatting, and all of that other stuff...
>BOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!
>Time to look into widdle pone's windows!
>...
>...
>Was that stallion wearing a dress?
>Hah
>That shit doesn't even look good on him
>Getafashionsensezigga.jpg
>...
>...
>What the hell was that mare doing with that broom?!
>Nopenopenopenope!
>Next fucking window!
>...
>...
>AW, that little filly was hugging that puppy...
>And someone who looked to be the fillies dad was hugging them both
>Hnnnngintensifies.jpg
>Man, this is fun!
>You needed to do this more often!
>Wonder where the hell Moon Bottom got this thin--
>"Oh Anon~"
>Eh?
>What was that?
>Looking up from the telescope you turn and see Moon horse, with a lewd smile on her face, walking toward you with a sway in her step with Sun horse trailing behind her
>Itbegins.'erewego
>"Art thou enjoying our room?~"
>Wow...
>She's really going for it isn't she?
>You take a moment to look over the princesses, noticing that both of them are sporting some pretty impressive blushes, and it looked like Celestia was sweating her flank off
>And... was there a hoof print on her face?...
>...Did Woona actually talk Sunny Buns in on the whole "we want to have sex with you" thing?
>Huh
>Fucking good for her
>Luna continues to walk over toward you with far more confidence than you think you've ever seen her with
>Hell, she had a lot more confidence than YOU did right now!
>And man, that ass of her's is REALLY bouncing side-to-side in all of the right ways...
>Was it hot in here or was it you?
>Because it felt like it had just went up like thirty degrees...
"Well, um... yeah," you say, allowing Luna to lead you away from her telescope and toward the Mecca of the dirty do: aka the bed. "I was just messing around with your big telescope thingy and looking around and stuff..."
>The Princess of the Night lets out a throaty giggle as you come within spitting distance of the bed
>"Oh? Well we are glad that thou art taking an interest in sightseeing."
>You let out a quiet 'oomph' as an invisible force pushes you over in a sitting position at the edge of the bed
>Celestia lets out a gasp as your kester hits the cloud-like bed, but Luna ignores it as she hops onto the bed and nustles against your side
>"Maybe the three of us can view our stars later tonight, hummm?"
>Though you knew you were kind of being baited you still wrapped an arm around Woona and pull her closer
>Damn adorable little ponies
>Even when they were trying to seduce you they were still as adorable as shit
"Maybe we can," you allow, tensing for a moment when you feel something warm and wet drag across your side
>Did that filly just LICK your chest?!
>Luna just giggled again, looking up at you with bright, happy blue eyes
>"But first We have a proposition for thee, Dear Anonymous."
>Not breaking eye contact, Luna sticks her tongue out and licks one of your nipples, teasing the sensitive flesh for a few moments before pulling away with a tongueful of cake
>"A proposition that We believe we will all enjoy~"
>...
>...
>Alright
>You weren't too proud to admit that that was pretty fucking hot
>Nor were you too proud to admit that lil' Anon may have twitched
>Because that was some shit
>Therocketisreadytolaunchcaptain.jpg
>Luna leans in once again, probably to give yo' chest another (unf) lick when Celestia takes a step forward
>"H-hang on a second!" she cries, her voice just a bit higher than usual.
"You promised me you would let me talk to Anon before starting, L-Luna!"
>Rolling her eyes, Luna rubs her side against yours one last time before hopping out of the bed
>"We apologize, Sister," she says, obviously not meaning it by the look on her face. "We were just warming Anon up for thee."
>Celestia's takes a nervous step forward before eyeing the door
>The poor mare looked like she wanted nothing more than to run away
>Huh
>It's weird seeing Celestia this skittish
>Though, to be fair, it's also weird seeing a lewd Woona
>Not weird in a bad way mind you, but still fucking weird
>The Princess of the Sun just kind of stands about three feet away from you, one hoof raised in the air as though she was about to take a step forward, her ears pinned against the sides of her head
>"Sister," Luna beckons, motioning toward you with a hoof. "We WILL hop back into our bed and begin licking the cake off of Anon's body if thee do not hurry up."
>L-Lewd
>Noisily gulping, Celestia trots over and and hops into the bed right next to you
>Feeling a bit bad for the poor pony princes (Luna DID dump this on her as much as she did you) you give her a big smile
>She gives you a smile in return (though it's a bit forced) before looking away from you
>"Anon? Are you okay with... this?" she asked, refusing to look at you.
"We've only been on two dates with you and my SISTER," Luna looks down at her hoof, ignoring the glare thrown at her, "is being pushy even for MY taste..."
>She sighed, and you can't help but wrap an arm around the poor, nervous little pone
>"So if you are upset or... nervous about what's going on don't worry about it at all. All you need to do is say the word and I'll have you out of this room in a heartbeat. And... I also want you to know, if you're mad at my sister and I, that I apologize for... this."
>Huh
>You can't help but look down at the red-faced alicorn
>She keeps saying sorry and all of that jazz but you don't recall her saying that she DIDN'T want this...
>You grip on Celestia tightens ever so slightly
"Say, Sunny Buns, you mind me asking you something?"
>You still weren't so sure about this whole scene, but you weren't OPPOSED to the idea
>So you may as well get some information so you could decide one way or the other
>"You can ask me anything you want my dear human."
>Aw
>qtpone'ssayingcutethings.jpg
"When was the last time you've gotten an--"
>You pause mid sentence
>Maybe you should phrase that a little better, eh buttercup?
"--er, had any... relations with a stallion... or mare... or whatever the fuck?"
>Celestia flinches but still doesn't move from her seat
>"It's been a... while," she admitted, rubbing one of her legs
"Like long, or long long?"
>She takes a deep breath and you swear she closes her eyes for a second and she gets even REDDER
>"...Long long..."
>Alright then...
>And you weren't even going to ask Luna when the last time she got any vitamin D...
>Humming thoughtfully, you lean Celestia against you, placing your head on her shoulder
>What to do, what to do?
>What to do, what to do?
>It does feel like a bit of a conundrum
>Sure, lil' Anon had already made up his mind (the dickens) but there was a lot to think about when one was thinking of plowing to pony princess pussies with precision and power
>Since you were also dating Cadence and Shining (no homo) shouldn't the two of them be here for this shit?
>Should you go and get yourself a rubber for curiosities sake ?
>And if you did did you need to then get two because you were banging them both?
>At this point you've got a hell of a lot more questions than answers
>Which was silly since you should just be saying fuck it and and do it like they do on the discovery channel
>And pondered and pondered until your ponderer was sore, all the while continuing to nuzzle Sun Horse's shoulder and neck and--
>"A-Aw~!"
>You freeze as Celestia lets out a moan out of nowhere
>Dat fuck?
>Looking up you notice a lack of cake and icing around her where your mouth happened to be and, licking your lips, you also tasted a bit of icing on your tongue
>...
>...
>Had you been licking Celestia's neck while your thoughter was athinkin'?
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Luna biting her lip as red faced as could be and sporting a pair of stiff wings
>And, focusing back on Tia, you notice that her wings are also at full extension, and along with that you can feel her shivering and panting and there's this weird smell in the...
>...
>..Oh
>Well aren't you just a fucking tease, huh Anon?
>Getting these pones all riled up and shit by accidently being sexy while you were thinking things through
>So now if you decided to not bang them you'd be a blue baller... or whatever the female equivalent is
>You might have been a bit of a prude but you weren't a cunt
>Well, at least you didn't think so...
>Though you really don't know why, you lean your head back down and continue to nuzzle Celestia's neck
>You couldn't help but take a deep breath and inhale the oddly amazing scent of cake, sunflowers, and arousal
>It was a smell that seemed to warm and your body
>You wanted more
>You hear Celestia breath hitch in her chest as you give the bare patch of fur on her neck a tender kiss
>Which was followed by a kiss a little bit higher on the neck
>Then a bit higher
>Then on the jaw
>Then on the cheek
>By now you had turned Sun pone into a shaking quivering mess, those pretty purple eyes of hers desperately looking into yours as you scoot her around to face you, your hand under her chin
>"A-Anon..."
>You kiss her nose
>"P-Please..."
>One of your hands starts to play with one of her wings
>"J-Just tell m-me if i-it's--"
>Alright
>You made up your mind
>Timetodothisshit!.jpg
>Before Celestia can finish her thought you land one final kiss on the pretty ponies lips
>Nothing to risky, nothing too flashy, just a simply, but heartfelt, kiss on the lips
>Something that Sunny Buns apparently wasn't going to stand for
>The second that your lips touch hers she springs into action
>She lets out another moan, far hungrier and louder than the one before, her wings wrapping around your body as she kissed you with a surprising amount of force
>You open your mouth to gasp but the second you do her tongue worms its way into your mouth with the force of a thousand suns
>Though you're shocked for a few moments you soon found yourself returning the kiss, your's and Celestia's tongues battling for supremacy
>You wouldn't have known that she hadn't gotten any in a while
>This filly knew how to use that tongue of hers
>You might not have had the technique that she did but you did you best to make up for it by giving it your fucking all
>Back you forth you battle in face others mouths, each of you doing your best lick every tooth, every bit of the mouth, and taste every bit of each other
>Celestia moaned into your mouth as your hands found their way to her ass, giving her cheeks a rough squeeze
>You were going to--
>"HUZZAH!"
>Both you and Celestia squeak in surprise as the two of you are tackled onto a bed, a grinning Luna standing above the two of you like a predator standing over her prey
>"Now that we've gotten that silliness away we can get to the fun!"
>She licked her lips and her tale swished back and forth
>"We hope thou art ready, Dear Anon! For We will ride will be riding thee until the break of dawn!"
 
>You find yourself smiling as you stand over Anon and your sister
>Aw
>Look at your little human
>So helpless looking and fragile all covered in cake and with that cute little blush on his face
>You could just eat him up!
>And other, lewder, things~
>Horn glowing brightly, you teleport the cake and icing off your, your sister, and Anon's bodies
>While you would have LOVED to have him lick it all off you, and you would have gotten a kick out of licking every bit of icing and cake off of his body as slowly and sensually as possible, you had a burning in your loins that that required immediate attention
>Immediate, immediate attention
>Still grinning, you lean down and press your nose against Anon's
>You were going to RUIN this colt for other mares
>You and your sister were going to make sure that he was walking funny for a week!
>...Or at least you hope so
>You were going to at least try your hardest to bucking do it!
>A warmth fills your chest as Anon's hands find their way toward your cheeks
>Aw
>Disherecolt'saqt
>And, by the look of him, pretty darned horny
>You can see that see the lust in his eyes as well as feel a little something further south~
>Alright Luna!
>Now was your time to shine and start this out right!
>With your heart pounding, your legs shaking, and your wings so stiff that they could cut through rock, you let Anon pull you into a kiss
>Sweet Faust
>He's just like you imagined he'd taste
>Sweet and sour and with just a bit of protein shake aftertaste
>You needed more
>Weneedtagodeepercap'n.jpg
>Letting out a quiet moan, you press your tongue against Anon's lips, silently begging for entry
>Entry that Anon happily gives, his hands moving from your face and wandering down your body while you lean into the kiss
>His tongue is a lot smaller than yours, thinner, too, so you're able to wrestle his tongue into submission with little effort, exploring his mouth as his tongue plays with yours
>After what felt like an hour and a minute at the same time, Anon pulls you away with laugh
>"Easy there, Luna!" he said, panting. "I don't know about you but I need to breath every once in a while."
>He needed to breath?
>Aw horseapples!
>All of that breathing of his was going to get in the way of your kissing!
>You can't help but chuckle yourself, pressing your forehead against you human's once again
"Our apologies, dear Anon."
>The look in his eyes makes your heart flutter once again
>"It's alright."
>You were about to lean back in and make the kisses double but stopped
>Making out could wait a few moments more!
>You had something that you wanted to get off of your chest!
"Anon?"
>"Yes Luna?"
>Just take a deep breath!
>Yougotthis
"We-I mean, /I/.... love you."
>Anon just looks at you for a few moments with an unreadable expression on his face (which almost had you start panicking by the way) but then his face seemed to light up
>His eyes bright and happy, he leans up and gives you a peck on the lips
>"I love you to, my pretty pony princess," he says before looking over at your sister. (who you kind of forgot all about) "I love both of you silly little horses, and Condense too."
>Huston,thefeelshavelanded
>You try to say something, anything, but Anon once again grabs you and pulls you into another kiss
>And thank the gods too
>You were pretty bucking close to crying because of that
>And you couldn't start up crying like some sissy mare!
>You had kissing to do!
>As you pull Anon upwards and wrap your hooves around his back you take a moment to think about the situation that you were now in
>Here you were, with your red-faced sister laying right beside you, kissing one of the prettiest, awesomest, all around 10/10 colts that you've ever met
>You were kissing him and he was kissing you and you hadn't messed anything up!
>And after your kissing you were going to take his pants off and do other things with him!
>Sexual things!
>VERY sexual things!
>And that was bucking AWESOME!
>Letting out a moan, you return Anon's kiss with renewed fervor
>And it was only going to get more bucking awesome when you--
>Your whole body twitches as Anon's hands leave your face and travel downward
>Ohherewego
>Those wigglers felt odd and wonderful as they glided across your neck, and you can't help but giggle when they reach your sides and give you a quick tickle
>Not breaking the kiss, you push Anon back flat onto the bed, wiggling your rump in what you hoped was an enticing way, before plopping right down into his lap
>The two of you moan as your marehood rubs against Anon's pants and the hardness underneath
>Damned fabric
>You should have torn it all off when you had the chance!
>You can feel him twitching as you grind yourself against him, using a spell to slowly pull the top of his pants down so you could take the prize that was underneath
>You wanted to see it, you wanted to feel it, taste it, you wanted it to be inside you DAMMIT!
>Beginning to pant, you grind against him harder
>You feel Anon's whole body twitch each time you move, those wonderful hands of his grabbing into your flanks and giving them a squeeze
>Those pants of his were nearly off
>You just needed to--
>You yelped as Anon's hands leapt from your rear and found their way back to your neck and he pivoted his whole body to the left
>It'sabuckingtrap!
>You try to pull yourself away but the human is too strong and manages to roll you off of him and to the side
>Oh no he bucking didn't!
>Playfully growling, you try to sit back up but Anon's already upon you and, after a brief struggle and some more kissing and touching (which you found yourself thoroughly enjoying) you found yourself laying flat on the bed, heart beating a mile a minute, with a grinning Anon looming over you
>And that smile of his wasn't any grin
>It was sharper, hungrier, more... predatory
>You liked it
"Fiend! Luring us into a false sense of security!" you cry while that crafty, crafty colt gives the side of your neck a kiss
>You try to open your mouth to say more but he kisses you again, and again, and again
>Each time his lips touch your fur your brain short circuited and your entire body tingles
>"What's the matter, LuLu?" Anon teases, giving your neck a little love bite
>You bite your lip hard the second you feel those sharp teeth of his graze your neck, rubbing your back legs together
>Buck the sheets!
>You were going to need a new bed with the mess that you were making!
>"I thought that you were going to take charge in all of this."
>You gasp as he kisses your neck, those hands of his keeping you in place
>"You were grinning and pushing us over and shaking that ass of yours a second ago."
>If you were in the right state of mind, and probably in a different position, you might have frowned
>Did this colt want you to fight for who got to be in top?
>Well challenge accepted!
>You weren't going to let a--
>Ohhh~
>Oh that was nice...
>You LOVED those hands of his...
>You tried your best to move, tried to grab your colt, roll him back around so you were on top, and have your way with him, but all you managed to do was let out another little squeaky moan
>With what Anon was doing to you you couldn't move a feather if you wanted to
>No, scratch that
>You DIDN'T want to move
"Oh gods!" you scream, your hips thrusting upwards as one of Anon's hands find their way toward your back, giving you flight muscles a poke
>Your tender, sensitive flight muscles
>Don'tcumdon'tcumdon'tcum
>DON'TCUMDON'TCUMSWEETFAUSTDON'TYOUDOIT!
"Aw, a-awwwww~"
Pleasebegentle
>Heh
>Big bad Woona isn't so tough now is she?
>You feel her whole body twitch as you give her back a little squeeze, one of your hands reaching down and giving the royal ass a playful squeeze
>To your delight the flesh is soft but firm
>YOU had helped mold this ass into the firm, bouncy thing that it had become
>It was... perfect
>Thank you Rippetoe!
"Aren't you gonna leave me on cloud nine so something like that?" you tease, kissing her chest. "Or are ya just going to let me do all of the work?"
>Removing your hand from her back your hands brush against her sides
>The Princess of the Night squirms as your kisses travel lower and lower, and your hands wandering to all of the right places, until you were at the promised land
>You take a moment to take in the sight of Luna's legs, her hips, and last but not least, her soaking wet marehood
>With a smile still on your face you give her lower belly a teasing nibble
>"OH B-BUCK!"
>You find yourself smiling as you pop one of Luna's teats into your mouth and start gently sucking and roll her other teat inbetween your pointer finger and your thumb
>Luna hisses, her wings flapping
>"A-Anon! ANON!" she cries, her head hitting the pillow and her hips bucking. "I..wWANnnn..."
>You ignore her, playing with the sensitive bit of flesh in your mouth with your tongue for a good minute or two
>Her legs kick and twitch as you switch teats, giving this one the same undivided attention
>"Thenroinfeergneroi--"
>Hah
>You got this filly speaking in tongues!
>Lets see if you could get her to speak something else eh?
>Giving both teats one last kiss, you very, very slowly slide down, and down, and DOWN...
>Luna violently bucks against you and lets out a loud whinny as you give her slit a good long lick.
>Huh
>She tastes like blueberries
>Neat
>"Anon!" Moon Horse pleads as you give her another quick lick. "P-Please!"
>You grab Luna's hips to keep her still, licking and biting and teasing this here little pone
>You can almost hear her heart pounding in her chest with each of your kisses and sucks and licks
>She was close; you knew it, she knew it, and you were sure Celestia knew it
>Speaking of Sun horse, you couldn't help but see her watching you from the corner of your eye
>Her's was a wide-eyed, unblinking stare, almost as if what she was watching was the most amazing, interesting thing in the whole happen right in front of her
>And did you see a hoof in between her legs?
>You can't help but lick your lips before gently biting around Luna's puffy lips
>Alright, time to get back to what was important!
>The horse pussy!
>Each time you tasted Luna you were almost forced to taste her again
>Her taste, the smell, everything about the pony squirming under you was starting to make you just a little bit dizzy and so horny that your dick was about to grow arms and rip your pants off for you
>Dong was expanded
>Dong was at maximum expansion
>Dongicus Ex Maximus
>There was nothing else in this world other than that taste, that smell, that wonderful, amazing marehood that you had the privilege of servicing
>If Zeus (the fifth most natty god) decided to descent from Mt. Olympus and strike you down right now you would probably die happy
>Happy, but with a hellish case of blue balls
>Which simply won't do
>No sir
>As you give Luna another lick you can't help but wonder how much longer Luna was going to hold out
>From all of the noise she was making she had to be pretty damn close right?
>How many licks until you reach the center of a Luna pop?
>Lets find out shall we?
>One
>"A-Aw~!"
>Two
>"Oh SWEET! FAUST!"
>Three, with a suck on the clit combo
>"ANON! A-ANON!"
>Four
>"A-Anon! S-Stop!" she cries, desperately pawing at the air. "I...I-I..."
>Luna's chest heaves and her back starts to arch
>She'sacomin'skipper
>Come on LuLu
>Give ol' Anon a taste
>She tries to move your head away with her hooves but you remain fast, looking up at her in between a lick
>You see her, her eyes hazy and her face so red that you almost didn't recognize her, staring down at you with a blissful/shock and awed expression, her mouth slightly parted
>You don't break eye contact as you give her clit another gentle nibble
>Her eyes cross
>You don't look away as you penetrate her with your tongue, her marehood squeezing and shifting around your little wet muscle, almost as if it was trying to pull you in deeper
>Her head once again hits her pillow but she still manages to look at you, her eyes pleading, no, BEGGING, for release
>With a few more licks you watch as her eyes roll into the back of her head, and watch as her horn glowed to life
>All it'd take was one more...
>"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>You continue to lick, doing your best to lap up the sudden rush of fluids, as Luna wreaths against your hold, doing your best to make her orgasm last as long as possible
>"ANON... ANon... Anon..."
>Eventually she stops moving and just lays on her back staring at the ceiling, sweaty and panting and with the biggest, dopeiest smile on her face
>Getting on your elbows you take a moment to examine your work
>Heh
>You still got i--
>You yelp as you're lifted off of Luna and slammed onto another part of the bed
>You blink, staring up at the ceiling in surprise as Celestia appears in your field of vision
>Her mane was disheveled and she had a... CRAZY look in her eyes
>Neither of you blink as she licks her lips, leans toward you ear, and whispers,
>"MY turn~"
 
 
"My turn."
>You couldn't help but smile as you give Anon's ear a bite
>This silly colt thought it'd be a good idea to put on a show with your sister while you were just laying there
>You saw that smile of his as he had his way with Luna, you saw Luna trying to take control of the situation but getting distracted and overpowered in the end
>You were sure that he was laughing on the inside, eyeballing you as you laid there hot and bothered
>The jerk
>And after he had finished with your sister you were sure that he'd crawl over to you and turn you-- YOU-- into the stallion while he was the mare...
>And buck THAT shit!
>You plant a kiss on the side of your human's head, then another on his jaw, then a final one of his neck
>You can taste the sweat pouring from that wonderful body of his and that, coupled with the smell of your sister ALL OVER him, was starting to you make paw at the bed eagerly
>Oh sweet Faust you were going to have SO MUCH fun!
>With a throaty chuckle, you lean in and give Anon a nuzzle
"You look good under me, 'Nonny," you comment as your horn glows.
>With two quick spells you manage to tie Anon's arms and legs to the bed and take his pants off
>He was just staring up at you with a blush on his face, panting like a mad man while you stared down at him like a predator
>It doesn't look like he noticed you using magic and shit
>Awesome
>Which meant this next part was going to be all the funner~
>Not breaking eye contact with your little human, you lean down, lick his neck and...
>Bite down hard
>Not hard enough to draw blood mind you but enough that he sure as hay felt it
>You feel him tense as you bite down, a pained grunt escaping his lips as he tries to roll away from you
>"What the hell, Celestia?!" he demands before ceasing his struggles and looking down
>Heh
>It looks like someone just found out that he couldn't move
>"What the hell am I--"
>Growling, you snake forward, shutting your colt up with a kiss
>This here stallion may act like a mare but there was no way in Tartarus that you were going to let him lead in the bedroom!
>This was the first time in like... three hundred years?
>...
>...
>The first time in three hundred years that you've gotten any!!!
>That was a LONNNNNGGGG bucking dry spell
>And you weren't gonna break the mother of all dry spells by being a bucking beta!
>Buck no!
>Alpha all the bucking way!
>YOU wanted to be the one to control the pace and leave this colt a panting, shaking mess!
>So it might have been... CUTE seeing him playing with Luna like he did but now it was your turn~
>You can't help but moan as your tongue worms its way into Anon's mouth
>Before the human can do anything, you've beaten his tongue down to the bottom of his mouth and were now doing your best to explore every inch of that sweet, sweet mouth of his
>You close your eyes, imagining the small little thing that Anon called a tongue and how would it feel if it was inside of you right now
>Teasing you in all of the right places
>Making you twitch while those sharp teeth of his grazed over your most sensitive parts
>Biting and sucking your teats
>Licking your marehood
>Biting at your flank and the dock of your tail
>Hmmm~
>His tongue might have been a little thing compared to yours but you had more than a few ideas on how to use it
>And besides, there was something far bigger poking your flank that would more than make up for it~
>You moan again as you lick your sister's juices out of Anon's mouth, off of those sharp teeth, and around those perfect lips of his before breaking your kiss
"You're... mine..." you pant, looking back into his eyes. "MINE."
>Anon bites his lip as you sit back and grind yourself against his hardness
>He tries to look away but you keep his head in place with your magic
>Time to overwhelm him with the ALPHA MARE power
>123go!
"/MINE/."
>Anon just lays there, so red that he looked like he was going to burst, before meekly nodding
>Heh
>Now this colt gets it
>A cheshire grin coming to your face, you once again lean down and nuzzling his cheek comfortingly
"Good," you say licking his cheek, enjoying as he shutters. "Now just lay back and let your Celly take care of you~"
>Not bothering to let him answer you start to slowly move downward, kissing and licking Anon to your hearts content, all the while keeping your ears peeled for any noises he made
>Anon's breath quickened as you made your way past his neck and toward his chest
>He gritted his teeth and you felt him twitch against your lower belly as you play with his nipples, biting and teasing them
>His breathing started becoming haggard when you made your way to his stomach and he started to gently buck his hips against your coat
>Oh no
>None of that
>Giggling to yourself, you pin his hips to the bed with another spell
"Now, now none of that," you scold while he groans in irritation. "You let me have my find first."
>You did your best to keep your pace slow and leisurely (mostly to get Anon chomping at the bit) but it was starting to get difficult
>Now that you were getting to the lower part of his body you could REALLY feel his manhood rubbing against your belly and up your chest
>Even though it was still hidden behind a thin layer of clothing you could feel moisture coating your stomach
>You could smell him, you could feel him twitch against your coat
>All you would need to do was take off those bucking boxers and you'd take that sweet ass of his all the way to cum avenue
>But first a little taste was in order~
>Your tail swishing side-to-side on eagerness, you finally come upon Mt. Dong, which was throbbing under Anon's...
>Were those smiley boxers?
>Noice
>Wonder where the hay Anon got tho--
>...
>...
>Wait!
>Wat r u doing Celestia!
>These boxers were HIDING the monkey dick right now!
>Those boxers were BAD!
>Pretty freakin' awesome, but bad
>BAD!!!
>...But they weren't going to be a problem for long~
>Looking up you notice Anon staring at you intently as her muzzle comes within inches of his bulge
>Oh sweet Faust
>His scent was driving you NUTS!!!
>Panting, you lean over and nuzzle the tent in Anon's boxers, grinning as you're rewarded with a moan
>"G-Goddammit, Celestia!"
>You'll be screaming my name by the time with is over colt
>Believe you me
>You lean up just a little bit and grab the hem of his boxers with your mouth, not breaking eye contact with your human
>"Just t-take'em o-off!"
>Your tongue pokes out and gives his lower stomach a quick licking
>Anon bucks and tries to thrust his hips, do anything other than just lay there really, but your magic held fast
>"F-fucking, c-cunting... b-bitch--"
>Anon groans again as you pull the boxers halfway down, making sure that your cheek was touching the hard throbbing cock the whole way down
>Just a little more annnd
>You gasp in surprise as Anon's cock pops out of and smacks you in the muzzle
>"A-Ah~!"
>You blink in surprise, staring up at it
>...Wow
>Almost without meaning to, your nostrils flair as your eye catches a bead of precum forming on on the tip of Anon's cock
>...
>...
>You had to taste it
>You NEEDED to taste it
>Quietly whimpering, you once again rub your cheek against his length
>Anon twitches and wiggles and moans as your tongue licks his cock head
>C-Cele--"
>Growling, you pop that delicious length into your mouth and start to suck as hard as you can, swirling your tongue around the head
>Come on colt
>Celly wants a taste~
>You can no longer heard Anon moan, nor can you heard your heart pounding in your chest
>There was just you and the monkey dick and that delicious, delicious pre
>Anon twitches as you pop him out of your mouth and start peppering his length with kisses, then you begin licking and sucking and nuzzling
>Come on colt
>Give it to me
>Moaning, you take more of him into your mouth, gagging slightly when you feel him pop the back of your throat
>With each trip up you suck him as hard as you can, swallowing his pre almost desperately, and as you go downward you swallow and clench your throat
>Your lungs were burning and your jaw was starting to but you powered through it
>It was almost addictive the way he slid into your throat, the way he tasted, the way he twitched in your mouth as your tongue played with his head
>Which each lick you could feel yourself becoming hotter and hotter
>If you didn't know any better, you'd say that you were damned near getting off without touching yourself
>With another moan you slam yourself down on his length, going and going and going until your nose was pressed up against his pewds
>Come on!
>FinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishfinishFINISH!
>"C-CUMMING!!!"
>Your eyes widen as the first spurt of salty, salty cum hits your tongue
>Awyesh!
>Moaning one last time, you--
>"SISTER!"
>You yelp as you're pushed off of Anon's still firing cock, cum firing all over you as you hit the bed with a thud
>You close your eyes as a spurt of cum hits you in the face, which was followed by another, then another
>Anon, it seemed, was as pent up as you were, and soon your neck, face, and chest was covered in thick baby-batter
>Though you're licking your lips and smiling on the outside on the inside you're pretty bucking upset
>Who the buck went and pushe--
>Your twitch when you feel a tongue drags along your neck
>"We are upset at thee sister. We also wished to taste Anonymous~"
>Your sister looks down at you with a sly smile, opening her mouth and showing you the mouthful of Anon batter that she had just licked off of you before swallowing
>lewd
>She leans down at you, rubbing your noses together
>"It appears that we will just have to taste thee instead~"
>As you open your mouth to ask her what she meant/lick some of the cum off of your face your sister snakes down and kisses you
>Your sister KISSES YOU!
>Celestis.exe has 404ed
>Reboot> [y] [n]
>The lewd intensifies
 
>...
>...
>...Holy fucking shit
>You simply lay there as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through you as you cum again and again and again
>You had had sex before
>And you had done/used some WEIRD shit to get off
>But never, EVER have you cum as hard as you did when Celestia gave you the ol' Sunny Delight
>You couldn't think
>You couldn't move
>Fuck, you couldn't BREATH as you wreathed against your magical bonds
>"SISTER!!!"
>You twitch as the warm wet mouth that had been so dutifully servicing you is gone without warning, leaving your member out in the open and shooting blindly
>You bite your lip and buck your hips as best as you can, trying to get your cock back into that warm mouth
>Unfortunately for you you just buck against open air
>Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!!!!!
>Your stomach flutters and your balls ache but your lil' soldier keeps on firing
>Ohmygodtherideneverends
>You close your eyes and weakly struggle against your bonds
>wervnwoefvneureon.orgasm
>We'refirin'everythin'wegotcap'n!
>Though it seems that it goes on forever it DOES eventually end
>Thank Christ
>The pleasure stops, and you just lay there, covered in sweat and panting like a racehorse and so tired that you could barely keep your eyes open
>Holy hell was that intense!
>Why the hell were you concerned about the whole sex thing with ponies?!
>Dat shit was--
>"A-Aw~!"
>...
>...
>...What was that?
>Though a part of you just wants to close your eyes and hit the hay a lewd moan rings out through the room and, managing to raise your head off of the pillow that you had been resting your head on to see one hell of a sight
>Luna was standing over Celestia, the two of them covered in...
>...
>Ewwww...
>Was that?...
>Aw shit!
>It's everywhere!
>What the hell were they--
>Celestia lets out a quiet gasp as Luna leans down and licks a bit of spunk (YOUR fucking spunk) off of her neck
>Wat?
>Before your mind can process what the FUCK you just saw Woona leaned down, whispered something in her sister's ear and...
>Didshejustkissher?
>DidLunajustkissherfuckingsister?!
>Hersisterwhoshewasfuckingrelatedto?!?!?!
>Doesnotcompute!
>DoesNOTfuckingcompute!!!
>Your slowly softening member twitches as you watched wide-eyed as Celestia, looking as freaked out as you felt, tried to draw away from the kiss only for Luna to push her onto her back, pinning ehr to the bed
>"Sister!" Celestia cries, her hind legs tucking against her chest. "What the buck are you--O-Oh~!"
>Rolling her eyes, Luna licks her sister's neck
>"We already told thee what we were doing, sister mine," Luna growls, licking the cum off her sister's eye before kissing her neck. "And it appears we have our work cut out."
>"But what, h-hah!--"
>You watch as the younger sister nips her older sister's neck hard enough so that you can see red marks, your dick twitching again
>While YOU had no fucking idea what was going on it appears that your dick did
>And he LIKED what he saw
>Instead of yelping or screaming in pain Celestia just lets out another gasp with each rough bite, her back arching and her hooves twitching
>If you didn't know any better you swear that the sun princess was offering more of her neck to her sister...
>Celestia tries to say more but Luna taps their horns together before looking over her shoulder at you
>"We will get to thee in a few moments, dear Anon."
>The cheeky filly smiles before going back to licking the cum off her SISTER, who was just laying there biting her lip with her eyes closed and her ears pinned to the sides of her head
>Sun horse didn't even look like he was trying to fight anymore...
>Drawing away from her sister's neck, Luna takes a step back, her tail swishing as her eyes hungrily drank in every curvy inch of Celestia
>"We simply wish to spend a minute or two warming up with our dear--"
>Celestia, though you can see that she's obviously trying to hold it in, lets out another moan as Luna trails a hoof up her sister's side
>It was a moan filled with embarrassment and regret, but also a certain amount of want and need
>"--L-Luna~"
>...
>...
>Okay, time to see what lil' Anon--
>...
>...
>Alright then...
>You could already see that lil' Anon as hard as a rock and ready for round two
>Sooo....
>...
>...
>Were they going to just let you lay there or were they going to let you go so you could HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN AND FUCK THESE PRINCESSES ALREADY?!?!
>Giving her fanny a teasing wiggle in your direction, Luna leans back down and continues to lick her sister clean
>With an almost motherly look on her face she licks Celestia's brow, then her ears, then she laps all of your cum out of her mane
>With each lick her horn glows to life, the sound of magic and moans filling the air
>You didn't know what spells of magic fuckery Luna was doing but Celestia seemed to enjoy it just fine
>...Maybe a LITTLE too much...
>Sun horse twitched and wiggled each time Luna just so happens to "accidentally" rub their horns together, whispering sweet nothings into her ear in between her spells and her licks
>Celestia's eyes are rolling around in her skull and she's starting to shake
>Whatever Luna--
>"L-LuuuNNNNAAAAA!!!"
>Luna giggles, gently lapping at her sister as she wreaths against her
>...
>...
>... Did Celestia just... cum?
>DidCelestiajustcum?!
>Didhersisterjustmakeherfuckingcum?!?!?!!
>Celestia twitches for about a minute or two before going limp on the bed, flushes and sweaty and with a heaving chest
>Your cock twitches angrily
>"L-Luna..."
>Moon horse hums thoughtfully before nuzzling and kissing her sister's chin
>"Oh, my apologizes, Sister, We forgot to ask thee if thou wanted a taste!"
>You can't look away as Luna licks up a bit of cum from Celestia's neck
>"How RUDE of us~"
>You once again start to struggle against your bonds as Moon horse starts to once again make out with Sun horse
>...
>...
>no
>No!
>NOOOOOO!!!
>FUCKING NO!
>You weren't just going to lay here any longer!
>Your dick was hard enough to knock somebody the FUCK and you needed some relief dammit!
>These here two horses up and ask to have sex with you and all you get out of it was a kiss, a blow job, and getting fucking cucked by Luna
>BY FUCKING LUNA?!?!!?
>Aw hell nah!
>You wanted in on some hot sister horse on sister horse action!!!
>You grit your teeth as you fight against the magic holding you down
>But first you needed to get out of this fucking horse magic!
>Celestia moaning and groaning, almost desperately kisses her sister back as the two of them roll around on the bed, their horns and wings rubbing together
>...
>...
>You NEEDED to get out of this RIGHT NOW
>You close your eyes and take a deep breath
>You didn't want to do this, you really didn't, but these princesses left you with no choice
>You were going to have to let /fit/ out
>God help them all...
>COME ON ANON!
>WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL OF THOSE PUSH UPS IF YOU CAN'T BREAK SOME FUCKING MAGICAL BINDINGS!!
>"L-Luna!... Y-YES~ Aw!!!"
>YOU'RE A BIG GUY! YOU'REABIGGUY!!
>FOR YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET MOTHERFUCKER!!!
>TFWGYNOANDMANLET!!!
>You start to see red as you push against the magic, your ears ringing as your muscles bulge
>It appears that Luna had finally finished cleaning off the cum from her sister and now Celestia was returning the favor
>YOU MIRIN' CUNT?!
>LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!
>AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A PEANUT!
>Though you can't see it, the bindings holding your arms and legs are starting to bend as you, with the power of rage and boners and /fit/, defy a goddesses magic to free yourself
>COMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEON!
>I PICK THINGS UP!
>I PUT THEM THEM DOWN!
>I CARRY HEAVY SHIT!
>AND LIFE CAN'T BRING ME DOWN!
>I'M A SIDEWALK CRACKING MOTHERFUCKER!
>AND I'LL NEVER QUIT!
>SO FUCK THIS MAGIC!
>I'M ABOUT TO GET IT!!!!
ARRRRRRUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
>With one last mighty tug the magic holding you down snaps like a twig under your aesthetics and sick cuntness
BOOM!
>Celestia and Luna are thrown to the edge of the bed as the broken spell releases a shock wave
>YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
>Super Saiyan god mode acquired!
>Slamming your fist against the bed you launch yourself to your feet, gasping for breath and your cock twitching like a jew at a fundraiser
>"What in the name of... Wha--"
>Both of the princesses look up to see you standing over them
>There's a wild look in your eyes and your entire body's glistening with sweat
>Every muscle in your body is bulging and you can see veins pulsing on your arms and legs
>YOU'RE A SICK CUNT!
>A SICCCCCCK CUNNNNNNNTTTTT!!!
>With a roar you throw back your head, lift up your arms, and strike the most holy of holies
>The Zyzz pose
>This is for you, you suck cunt
>You are a greek god
>You are almighty and full of wrath and there was so much blood rushing through your dick that your boner was starting to hurt
>You were Anon E. Mous and you were coming for that ass!
>YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
>Luna yelps as you pick her up and (with good form) power clean that filly
>"A-Anonymous!" she cries in surprise, wiggling in your grasp. "W-Wha--"
>With a growl you toss her to the other end of the bed, her body hitting a stack of pillows with a 'pomph!'
>"A-Anon?" Moon horse stutters as you fall to your knees and grab her sides
>"Anon PleAASSSEEEE!!!"
>You ignore her, burying your face into her neck as you position yourself over her
>She gasps as the head of your cock teases her soaking-wet marehood, her back arching and her hips rolling
>"YES!" she moans as you roughly bite her neck. "FINALLY!"
>Your fingers dig into her flanks as you growl again
>You're about to just say fuck it and buck into her with all of your might but you stop yourself
>Take a fucking breather Anon
>There's no need to ruin anyone here
>You got this filly right where you wanted her
>You take a deep breath, bracing yourself, and slowly part her lips and...
>"A-AW~!"
>You grit her teeth as you slowly push into your mare
>The heat, the warmth, the way that her marehood squeezed you...
"Jesus..."
>It was too... different to be like a human women
>A women didn't feel this hot
>A women didn't squeeze and and milk you like this
>And the tightness
>Sweet Jesus the TIGHTNESS
>Your hands find their way to her neck as you slowly start to pull out before pushing right back in even deeper than before
>Luna paws at your back as you push inch after inch into her
>"M-More!" the princess moaned doing her best to push more of you inside her. "M-Mor--"
>Growling, you grab her face with a hand as you pull her into a kiss as you thrust again
>The princess mewls into your mouth, shutting her eyes tightly
>You continue to slowly thrust, doing your best to get used to your new lover as she squeals and moans and paws at your back
>Luna's looking at you with an almost desperate look on her face, her mane whipping around you and her wings pulsing with her heartbeat as you twitch inside of her
>"We love thee, Anon," she groans, kissing the side of your neck as you pull out of her warm depths. "Please, breed us, make Us y-yours."
>You just answer her with another thrust, your chest heaving and your vision blurry
>Sweat is running down Luna's face as she looks up at you, her eyes clouded and her mouth partially open
>You groan as sunk back into her, your grip on her tightening
>Just a little more and you'll be fully in her
>Just... a... little... more...
>"Please, P-PLEASE! We are so c-close An, An, ANONNNNNNN!!!"
>With a final thrusts you finally bury yourself into Luna fully, a wet, meaty slapping sound echoing throughout the silent room as you hilt
>And a moment after that Luna seizes up, her eyes wide and her wings twitching, throwing back her head and moaning so loud that the room seemed to shake
>...
>...
>Is Luna... cumming?
>...Already?
>What the hell?
>Still kissing her neck, you continue to kiss Moon horses neck as she spasms, all the while still thrusting
>...
>...
>Dammit
>She really DID cum didn't she?
>...
>...
>Fuck
>You weren't even CLOSE to being finished!
>Had Woona really been that pent up?!
>Though it's pretty fucking hard to frown in the position that you were in you were pretty fucking close to doing so as Luna, still twitching and shaking slightly and with her mane sticking to her forehead with sweat, slowly but surely came down from her orgasm
>You keep thrusting but she just goes limp in your arms
>God. Fucking. Dammit!
>After a moment or two Luna's eyes finally open and look over at you
>"Thou were WONDERFUL, Anonymous," she said with a sleepy giggle, her eyes already half-closed as she enjoyed her afterglow and you stared her down in irritation
>She yawned as you stopped thrusting into her with a sigh
>You weren't going to fuck her if she was about to fall asleep
>And she sure as hell LOOKED like she was about to fall asleep...
>Leaning up to nuzzle your cheek, Luna smiled up at you before yawning once again
>"Anon?"
>...You really can't stay mad at that face can you?
"Yes Luna?"
>The princess's smile widens as her eyes close
>"How... were... zzzz."
>You look down at Luna, you irritation turning into mild amusement, as she just falls asleep in your arms with your cock still buried inside of her, her ears twitching and an adorable smile coming to her face
>...
>...
>...Was this how a women back home feel?
>This is how a women feels after fucking a two-pump chump isn't it?
>She's getting all into it with some guy and they just up and fall asleep before she can really get into it
>Welp, it looks like you know how that feels now!
>And you REALLY don't fucking like it!
>Trying your best not to groan, you slowly pull your cheated dick out of Luna
>Man... FUCK
>Next you were expecting someone to ask if you needed any money!
>Shaking your head, you lean down and kiss Moon horse on the forehead
"You're lucky you're fucking adorable," you murmur before rolling off her...
>Where a grinning Celestia, who had a hoof between her legs and a dopey expression on her face, was waiting for you
>"You're still hard?" she asked, looking you over in surprise before her grin widened. "Fantastic!"
>With a giddy shake, Celestia pushes you onto your back before straddling you
>You can't help but groan as that big ass of her's teases your member, her thighs rubbing and teasing and making you twitch
>Well hello to you too!
>Fucking horny ass Sun horse!
>One of your hands reaches up and pulls her into a kiss while the other reaches down and gropes her flank
>Celestia kisses your nose
>"Fantastic indeed~"
>She groans, grinding herself against you hips as you play with her great big beautiful butt
>Datbootytho
>Her horn glows, grabbing your cock and stroking it
>"Don't worry, my little human. Unlike my darling little sister--"
>Both of you look over at a quietly snoring Luna, who was curled in a ball on the other side of the bed
>"--/I/ won't stop until BOTH of us are pleased."
>You groan again as her magic tickles your tip, gritting as you thrust against her thighs and the soaking wet heat in between them
>Fucking awesome
>Fucking GREAT!
>Now she just needed to stop teasing you
>AND START FUCKING YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!
>LIKE RIGHT NOW!
>Placing her hooves on your chest, Celestia rears up, using her magic to angle your member upward
>"Ready or not, here I come~"
>She better NOT cum before you...
>...God, it was WEIRD thinking that...
>Both of you tense up as your cockhead pokes at her lower lips with enough force to tease but not push into her
"W-Will you j-just put it in?" you grunt
>Celestia just giggles and kisses your cheek, her wings tickling your chest as she takes a deep breath and she sinks down onto you
>The two of you gasp and tense, your hands latching onto her hips as her back arches and her wings extend upward
>"O-Oh~!... That's n-nice..."
>She does her best to take as much of you as she can but stops after her lips engulf your head, you just holding her as the two of you lie there panting
>Holy hell did she feel like a furnace!
>Taking those few moment of neither of you moving, you find yourself marveling at the sight of a red, sweaty, and HORNY Celestia doing her best to take everything you had
>It was art
>It was beauty
>It was something that you were going to have to insist she make into one of those fancy windows of hers
>You know
>For... science....
"Y-You better put your money w-where--"
>She lifts herself off of you before slamming down all the way to the base
>Your brain scrambles as pleasure steals your breath, your eyes crossing as Celestia, true to her word, starts to ride you hard
>She'd lift herself up until just the tip was inside of her before slamming down hard enough to make the bed creak in protest
>You find yourself starting to breath hard with each thrust
>Holyfuckingshitballs
>"Oh? Do you like that, 'Nonny?" Sun horse teases, rubbing your noses together while grinding once again grinding against you lap
>She gave you another kiss, that sly smile of her's on her face
>"Because I can feel you twitching inside me~"
>She gasps as you thrust upwards as she slams down on you
>"Are you going to cum, my little human?"
>You try to steady your breathing but she just pulls you into a kiss and another battle of the tongues
>You feel yourself twitching inside her as you groan into her mouth
>You COULD feel yourself getting closer and closer
>The smell of sweat, sex, and sunflowers was assaulting your nose
>Hearing that wet, meaty, lewd slap, listening to Celestia pant and gasp and moan
>And the Feeling...
>Sweet Jesus, you weren't even going to START on what the hell you were feeling...
>You try to close your eyes but Celestia's hooves find your cheeks, her forehead pressing itself against yours
>"Will you fill up your princess, my little human?"
>You find yourself squeezing her rump tightly, holding her in place so she could just grind against you
>You could feel a ticklish sensation in the pit of your stomach
>It looked like you were getting close
>ThePleasureisover9000
>"Please? Pretty Please? Pretty, pretty Please~?"
>You just keep running your hands up and down your body and kissing and biting her lip, moaning and gasping and groaning with the princess
>Celestia bites her lip, panting each time she slammed down on top of you
>"O-Oh! H-Hah~!"
>Her wings start to twitch and her marehood squeezes you tighter and tighter
>Your eyes widen
>No
>NO!
>Don't you fucking DARE!
>Do--
>"A-Aw~!HAAAAAHHHH!"
>She cums hard, her eyes rolling and her tongue lolling
>You had to steady her as she swayed on top of you
>FuckingfuckFUCK--
>Oh wait a tick
>She was still riding you...
>Seeing the surprised look on your face Celestia just grins
>"Like I said, my little human, we're not done yet~"
>She looked exhausted but determined as, with a deep breath, she raised her rump into the air and slammed it down with another meaty slap
>"Cum," she demanded while you gritted your teeth
>Your back starts to arch and you were holding onto Celestia so tightly that your knuckles were white
"G-God dammit!"
>A whine escaped her as you started bucking your hips
>Poor sun horse looked like she was barely about to sit up
>You just needed her to stay up a little longer
>You were close
>SO CLOSE!
>Shaking, Celestia leans down, rubbing the side of her head with yours
>"C-Cum!"
Slapslapslapslapslapslapslap
>"C-C-Cum!!!"
>Once again, Celestia throws back her head and howls, her marehood milking you for all its worth
>FuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!
>You answer Celestia's scream with one of your own, forcing her to hilt one final time before the pleasure becomes too much
>You see white as the first spurt of cum fires into Celestia, your toes curling
>Right now you are floating on cloud 10, maybe even eleven
>Celestia's scream turning into a squeaky groan as you lift her up slightly and slam er down onto you again
>You have transcended mortal mans understand
>You have become more than Anonymous the jacked guy that always bought out the eggs and oats from the grocery store
>You had seen the light
>Tasted it
>Played with it
>Before you were a mind with hands covering his eyes
>But now you could see
>[i]spoiler[i] Horse pussy was dope yo[i]spoiler[/i]
>The princess tenses as you fire into her
>"O-Oh B-BUCK!" Celestia groans, flopping onto your chest. "YEEESSSSSHHHH..."
>You continue to buck into her as she lays there, breathing heavily into your ear
>Too soon though you find yourself coming down from your orgasm, just laying there
>Anon.exe has overloaded
>Cummingwiththeforceofathousandsuns.dce has corrupted thought.axe files
>Reboot? [y] [n]
>...
>...
>...
>1%
>...
>...
>...
>30%
>...
>...
>...
>80%
>...
>...
>...
>100%
>Anon.exe is back online
>You blink as you hear a tired giggle come from Celestia as she wiggled herself on top of you
>"Did my little human enjoy himself?" she asked as you wrap your arms around her
"Well... This wasn't what I expected when you guys told me to come up here," you admit as Celestia nuzzles your chest
>You peer down to see a pair of shining purple eyes staring up at you, tired yet content
>The Princess of the Sun nuzzled your cheek, her wings tucking into your sides as she does her best to keep your softening member inside of her
>You smile, giving her rump a playful squeeze
>God did you love this here ass
>She coos again before leaning up and giving you a kiss before placing her head back on your chest and closing her eyes
>Poor Sun horse must have been exhausted
>Lord knows you were...
>"Well, I'm glad that my little sister decided to take initiative."
>You see Celestia's horn glow and a moment later something warm, furry, was pressed against your side
>Still looking down at Celestia, you wrap an arm around Luna and pull her close
>Though you don't see it, Luna smiles at your touch, wiggling closer against you
>Fucking qt two pump-chump Woona...
"It DID make my afternoon a hell of a lot more interesting."
>You run your fingers through her sweaty mane
>"Also, that thing you were doing with your mouth? Fucking awesome."
>Celestia giggles
>Looking up at you before yawning
>"Well, thank you very much," she says, amused. "It's nice to see that my skills haven't rusted over the years..."
>Her content smile becomes a smirk
>"But I believe that my skills COULD be sharpened. And my sister's as well."
>She looks over at her snoring sister before weakly chuckling
> "Luna's going to be HORRIFIED when she finds out she didn't get you to finish."
>She grinds herself against you and you find yourself grinning hugely
"All's the more reason you two need practice eh?"
>"How would you like to help us out with that?~"
>Having some GREAT sex with two beautiful, amazing mares as much as you want?
>Hell yeah!
>You kiss the top of sun horse's head
"I'm your man, Celestia."
>Your grip on the princesses tighten and you find yourself closing your eyes
>Boy were you going to be sore tomorrow...
>It was fucking awesome
"I'm your man."
 
BE CADENCE
>It was another bright, cheery day out in ponyland
>The sun was out in full force (and a LITTLE too hot for your taste), you had finished your workout and CRUSHED two PR's in the process, and you had a lovely lunch with your loving and wonderful husband
>But all was not well on this day
>In fact it hadn't been all that well for the last two of three days
>You had been going to the gym, running around the city, and being an all around marely mare all by your lonesome for these past few days
>Anon, Celestia, and Luna were indisposed with a mysterious illness
>Apparently the three had gotten a bad case of the flu or something and so they were held up at the castle (why Anon needed to be at the castle because he was suck baffled you but whatever), all three of them in Celestia's room and too sick to do anything other than moan and groan and lay in bed
>Luna had called it the Alicorn flu and had said something about it being a rare and very dangerous sickness that only a few could weather through
>...Or something like that
>All of the groaning and moaning in that room had made any conversation through the door difficult, and after you had learned that it WASN'T going to kill Anon you had relaxed and kind of spaced out
>Kind of shitty sure, but you had no desire to stand by a door where three highly contagious people were doing what they do
>Your body was a well oiled machine at the moment
>And you had NO bucking desire to throw and wrench in the gears and ruin your gainz
>The castle staff, on the order of Celestia herself, had been ordered to quarantine the royal wing of the castle so nopony would get sick
>Their meals were to be left outside
>Meetings had to be rescheduled
>And cases bottles and bottles of water and honey (an old-timey cure for the flu) and sheets and blankets were teleported into the bedroom
>Every and all care was being taken to keep ponies AWAY from them and for good reason
>...Probably
>While you had insisted on getting somepony to check up on them they had insisted on keeping ponies away from them
>An alicorn flu was absolutely deadly to most ponies, your aunt had told you through the door while Luna moaned in the background, and if a doctor tried to examine them then there was a good chance that that doctor might not live to see the morning
>Which, honestly was a reasonable thing to worry about so you had kept your mouth shut about it
>Celestia and Luna knew about the flu and they knew how to weather through it and make sure that Anon would be alright until his fever had passed
>Everything would be alright and the three of them would be back on their feet/hooves in about a week or two
>How and the hay Anon managed to get it was beyond you (or why it was called the alicorn flu when other races could get it) but you were no doctor
>And you sure as heck weren't a doctor that specialized in sicknesses that gods could contract
>So, since you had never gotten the "Alicorn flu" before you decided to take their word for it and leave them well alone
>Like you had already specified, you didn't want to get the bucking flu
>And you sure as hay didn't want to lie in a bed for days on end throwing up and and shaking and not being able to eat anything and all of that horrible stuff
>If they said that they'd be able to take care of themselves than you were happy to let them stay in their room FAR away from you
>Well, actually you were kinda bored and more than a little irritated that those three managed to get themselves sick at the same time, but the only thing you had been able to do was grit your teeth and wait for the flu to pass
>Until today that is
>It had taken a day or two of research and a little help from your hubby but you had finally managed to make a bubble spell that SHOULD keep you safe from this alicorn flu
>So now you and Shining, who insisted on coming even though he could die if your spell didn't work (what a brave bucking colt) were making your way toward Celestia's room with a cart full of tissues and books and soup on in with the intend of nursing your herdmates back to full health
>That and Shining had insisted that he wear a nurses outfit (unf) so you don't see how any of this could go wrong
>...Except the whole "Shining might die" thing
>You were a goddess, so that meant you were pretty bucking hearty
>But Shining was a squishy mortal
>Unlike you HE could die pretty easily
>Which was something that you WANTED to avoid
>Like a lot
>A lot a lot
>...
>Did you say that you REALLY didn't want your husband to go with you to your deathly ill aunt's room?
>Because you didn't
>Like really REALLY didn't
>Nurses outfit or not
>If he really wanted to wear that there were plenty of opportunities
>Like at a costume party for instance
>Or during nightmare night
>Or he could go and volunteer at a nursing home or something
>OR... he could wear that during smexy times maybe?
>Cause that would be pretty bucking awesome in your book
"Shining, honey, are you sure you want to go in there?" you ask for what felt like the hundredth time that day, your stomach twisting with nervousness and arousal
>Gods was the outfit hawt
>Shining, with a smile on his face as he adjusts his little nurses cap (UNF), says,
> "I'm going to be fine, honey. We spent days looking over this spell."
>Sweet Faust, the outfit is so TIGHT on him...
>And those stockings...
>Those STOCKINGS!
"This isn't any old regular flu though Shining," you argue, taking a moment to fully appreciate that outfit of his."It could go through our magic like it was nothing or blow us up or something like that horrible like that."
>You would have come up with something more profound and meaningful but that outfit was throwing you the buck off
>In all of the good ways though
>You REALLY needed to get to him wear this thing in the bedroom...
>And you should just go ahead and get one made for Anon
>No!
>Bad wings!
>You bucking stay down!
>DOWN!
>Stop thinking about who Anon would look in a nurses outfit
>Stopitrightnoworyou'regoingtogetawingboner!!
>Shining snorted
>"Cadence, baby, you're looking at a pony who is an expert on shield magic. If I say that this spell is impenetrable, whether it be holding up against super germs or elder abominations, then this spell is going to do just that."
>You open your mouth to argue but then close it a moment later
>There was no bucking way that you were going to win this
>Shining here, the caring colt that he was, had gotten it into his head that he to nurse your other herdmates back to health
>And, like all colts, whenever they get thoughts into their heads that they are passionate about there was no turning him away from them
>Ifthecoltain'thappyain'tnobodyhappy.ugh
>So the only thing you could do was bitch and moan about it while making sure that your husband had two shields placed around him at all times
>You could give a buck less about whether or not you got the flu if it meant that Shining would be alright
>Cause you loved the knucklehead and you didn't want him to get hurt
>And you were sure that his spell would work perfectly anyway
>Your husband right there had managed to keep a shield up around a CITY for days and days, you were sure that he'd be able to figure out how to keep some tiny germs out
>Probably
>Maybe
>Hopefully
>...You know what?
>You'll take care of your aunts and Shining can take care of Anon
>Since he's not a pony there should be less of a chance that he spreads the flu to other ponies, right?
>You were SURE that you read that in a magazine somewhere...
>And you'll make sure that Shining doesn't stay in that room all day and you'll have him shower thoroughly when he leaves
>You know, just to be safe
>Not because you were SCARED or anything
>...
>...
>Just keep breathing filly
>Look at your hubby's outfit
>Imagine you and him doing stuff
>Sexual stuff
>Filthy sexual stuff like marital consummation in the missionary position with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation
>Alright
>Now stop thinking about it your perv
>You're going to make a mess right in the middle of the hallway
>And lower your bucking tail!
>LOWER. IT!
>AND YOUR WINGS!
>Keeping your gaze straight forward, and away from your sexy, sexy husband, you eventually find yourself in front of Celestia's room
>Now breath in and out
>Everything's gonna be alright
>No one's gonna die
>You're gonna get brownie points with your husband and probably Anon by showing them you were a caring mare and you'd get those goodfeels that came with helping someone else
>You got this
>You're about to knock on the door when Shining stops your hoof with his magic
"Honey, what the hay are you doing?" you asked looking over your shoulder at him
>UNNNNNNFFFFFFF!!!!
>YOU'RE JUST ASKING FOR IT COLT!
>"You don't want to go knocking when the three of them are sick in there!" Shining whisper-shouts with a scowl
"And why the hay not?" you ask back with your own whisper-shout
>You have no idea WHY you did it, this door is like a foot thick...
>Eh
>Can'tfindabucktogive.jpg
>"They're probably sleeping in there," Shining tells you, pushing you to the side and fiddling with the door. "Faust knows that I'd be asleep with the flu."
>Though the door is locked Shining manages to open it with a spell
>You...
>You should probably do something about it...
>Because you liked to know that you could sleep at night and your locks would keep out intruders
>But buck that for now
>Just focus on getting ready to see your aunts and Anon
>"So we'll just poke our heads through the door, see if anyone's awake and then--"
>As your husband opens the door you are ASSAULTED with the smell of sweat and...
>Oh sweet zigga Faust riding a bicycle...
>"A-Aw~! Oh YES! Just like that Anon~"
>You and your husband recoil in surprise as a pair of moans rings out into the hall
>There, in your aunt's bedroom, is not a trio of sick people in need of someone to take care of them
>Oh lawd nah
>From what you can see they aren't sick AT ALL!
>You can see Anon laying on his back roughly gropping Celestia's rump while Luna rides his dick like a cowmare
>...
>...
>...
>Cadence.exe has crashed
>You almost accidently knock your poor husband off of his hooves as your wings popped up from your sides, your face as red as a tomato
>"Ye G-GODS!"
>Your eye twitches as a meaty smack reaches your ears
>You can see that both of your aunts are covered in sweat and... other liquids
>"L-LuNA!"
>S-SisTER!"
>You watch as your aunts (both of whom are sisters. SISTER!) desperately reach for each other, their hooves touching and groping each others bodies before Celestia grabs the back of Luna's head and...
>KISSES HER?!
>CELESTIAJUSTKISSESHERSISTER?!?!?!?
>ANDISSHEBUCKINGKISSINGBACK?!?!?!?!
>Cadence.exe has double crashed and his now also strangely aroused
>reboot and run Shameandoutrage.txt?
>[y] [n]
>...
>...
>...
>Your eye twitches as you hear Luna moan in Celestia's mouth while she grinds herself against Anon's pelvis
>...Now wait just a bucking minute!
>Did these three LIE about being sick so they could ditch their duties and just buck each other like animals?!
>...
>...
>Wait
>What the buck were you thinking?
>Of COURSE they were ucking lying!
>Alicorn flu? You KNEW that that was a load of horseapples!
>Out of the corner of your eye you see your husband, who was as red as you, quietly trotting in place while biting his lip
>You knew that lip bite and that trot
>Shining didn't know whether or not to race away out of embarrassment or go into that room and start cracking skulls
>Not that you could blame him
>Just like Shining you were also embarrassed and aroused and more than a little upset at the sight before you
>You all were SUPPOSED to be in a herd together
>You were SUPPOSED to to be there for each other
>For the good times
>For the bad times
>For the times where yougettoBUCKINGRUTANON!
>But noooo!
>There those two were having a grand ol' time while you just stood there with stiff wings watching this whole thing like that biggest beta in the whole bucking world
>They didn't give a buck!
>Heck, it looked like they were having a BLAST!
>...
>...
>...
>SHIT!
>Why the BUCK didn't you think of this?!
>The alicorn flu?
>Just think about who much bucking stuff you could have gotten out of by pulling that card!
>And you could have pulled this with Anon and had a three-way with him and your husband!
>That shit would have been so cash!
>Grumblegrumbleyouwerejellygrumblegrumble
>Frowning, you take a moment to think over the situation and what should you do about it
>Should you just quietly close the door and leave them to it?
>Or should you run in there and start flipping the buck out because this was a load of BULLSHIT
>"C-Come on!" Celestia cries, her back arching and her eyes closing as she bucks against Anon's face. "A-Almost t-there..."
>...
>...
>...
>Angerintensifies.rage
>Alright
>Buck ALL of this
>You're going in hot
"WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!" you roar
>Your voice rings out loud and clear
>Loud enough to make Celestia and Luna freeze, their eyes widening in surprise
>"C-Cadence?!" Luna yells, pushing her sister away from her and looking over at you
>What the BUCK are you blushing for, filly?
>You're COVERED in cum!
>Celestia, who's as equally red as her sister, tries to scooch off of Anon
>"Cadence, this isn't--"
>She squeaks as Anon pulls her right back onto his face
>The colt must not have heard your yelling through your aunts thighs
>Celestia wiggles in her new throne, stuttering as she tried to open her mouth to say something
>Whatever Anon was doing down there must have been--
>"OH YESSSS!!!!!"
>Your eye twitches again as your aunt's wings fully extend and her back arches
>...
>...
>Motherbucker
>That should be YOU sitting on top of Anon's face
 
 
BE ANON
>You can't help but smile as Celly give you another treat, lapping up everything she gave you
>For the past couple days you and the Celestial sister had been in a battle of sorts
>A battle of wills
>Fuck until you drop
>The winner wins and the loser also wins
>It was also a HELL of a way to work on cardio
>...
>...
>Eh?
>What's this?
>Why did Luna stop moving?
>Why was Celestia trying to roll off of you?
>You weren't fucking done yet!
>You find yourself frowning as you let Celestia roll off of you
>These two fillies better have a good excuse why they were stopping your sexy times
"Alright," you say, sitting up. "What the hell are you guys--"
>You blink as you, your face covered in marecum, look over at Cadence and Shining Armor, both whom were had just suddenly appeared right in the bedroom
>...
>...
>Oh shit
>Cadence looks mad...
>And so does Shining...
>And now you're all just kind of sitting there awkwardly...
>FUCK!
>Think of something that'll make this better!
>Thinkofsomething!
"This... isn't what it looks like?" you say lamely before looking at Celestia and Luna, both whom were staring back at you
>Luna blinks in confusion before looking down at your's and her's crotches
>"Whatever could this be other than us rutting, Anonymous?" she asked curiously, grinding her hips against you
"You. Are. Not. Helping." you say through gritted teeth before smiling at love horse and Shine horse
>Goddamn silly Luna
>"ANON! YOU BUCKING HUSSY"
>You sigh, letting your head fall back onto the bed
"Hey Celly?" you say, closing your eyes as you hear Shining stomping toward you
>Aw shit son
>You were gonna get it
>"Yes my little human?"
"Could you just go ahead and get on back on my face?"
>You ignore Shining's growl
"I'd rather hear you screaming than Shining."
>"Oh you'll hear me screaming alright!"
 
BE Twiglock Sprinkle
>Books, Books, Friendship, Magic, Books, Purple Smart!
>It had taken weeks and weeks of sitting by her side, reading to, talking to, and even feeding her, but Helga had finally recovered
>All of the minotaur's bones were all fixed up, she was stable, and she should be able up and about as soon as the nurses got her out of the body cast
>And while this was good for her you were kind of sorry
>During your time spent with this supposed "villain" you liked to think that you made a friend in her
>She was always so attentive whenever you read to her and she just let you go on and on
>You knew that you were a long-winded kind of pony and that usually annoyed people
>But you could tell that Helga was more than happy to listen to you!
>Sure, she never really... TALKED with you other than muttering a few threats and growling...
>But you were SURE you had grown on her over these few months
>You could see the two of you back in Ponyville laughing and having fun with your other friends
>And you were sure that something like that would be good for the cow
>Even villains needed friends, and sometimes when they got a friend or two they weren't so evil or villain-y as they once were
>But alas, the princess had ordered you to banish her the second that she was about to get up and walk around
>And orders were orders...
>But that still didn't mean that you couldn't be pen pals!
>Ohhhhh you always wanted a--
>"Urm, excuse me, princess?"
>Blinking, you look over at the nurse, who was staring at you awkwardly with a pair of scissors in her mouth
>"Would it be alright if I began to cut Mrs. Helga's cast now?"
>Shit
>You were spaced out again weren't you?
>HeyHospaghetti-o's!
>With a nervous giggle you nod
"Oh course," you say, trying to ignore the blush that was coming to your face. "Then the two of us can get out of your mane and... stuff."
>Oh horseapples!
>You were making that weird face when you were thinking to yourself again didn't you?
>That ALWAYS made ponies uncomfortable and the situation needlessly awkward!
>You REALLY needed to stop doing that
>...This
>You needed to stop thinking so much to yourself
>Like you were doing now
>With the doctor and that other nurse watching you
>...
>...
>Now
>You needed to stop doing that NOW
>You putz
>And stand up like a princess Faust dammit
>Princesses aren't supposed to slouch!
>Trying your best not to look, well... more awkward, you watch as the nurses and the doctor surround Helga armed with saws and scissors and cutting magic
>"Will you all just hurry up and get this shit off me?" you hear Helga demand through the wraps around her mouth. "And I swear to all of the gods if you cut me..."
>Aw
>Poor Helga must be extra grumpy this morning
>But, to be fair, you would have been more than a little impatient to get all of that shit off of you
>You didn't know what you'd do if you had to lay in a bed not being able to move for months at a time
>That would be maddening!
>Or would be if you didn't have someone with you like Helga had with you
>Look how much she changed with you talking to and caring for her!
>She was talking to other ponies and she hadn't even threatened to murder or tears anyone's limbs off!
>Which is a win in your book!
>It takes a few minutes of the nurses fussing about (Helga was a big cow and she had a lot of cast to cut off of her) but eventually Helga was freed and up out of the bed
>You were pleased to see that she could stand
>Giving her head a shake, Helga looks down at you, her eyes brimming with warmth and companionship
>...Probably
>You can't help but smile up at her
>Yep
>You can FEEL it in your friendship bones
>Helga liked you (no homo)
>You had one her over with your charisma and reading skills
>...Yep
>It looks like you've got another friend until your belt
>A friend that was hopefully going to be your first penpal
>The first of many you hoped
>Though you were the picture of calm, cool, and collected, on the inside you were hopping up and down and shouting in excitement
>You did it
>You did it
>You did it
>Yay!
>Gods were you an AWESOME Princess of Friendship!
>...
>...
>Boy was Helga actually REALLY big now that she was up and standing like this!
>And it didn't look like she lost all that much muscle
>Not that you really would know since you never really got to meet her when she was fully healthy but you expected her to look a bit... less muscle-y
>Muscle loss was usually common when one wasn't able to move a muscle for weeks at a time
>But you can clearly see that her deltoids are--
>"Are you just going to stand there with that look on your face or are we going to leave?" Helga demands, crossing her arms and flicking her tail in irritation
>Once again brought out of one of your thought stupors (what the buck was wrong with you?) you smile and nod
"Of course!" you say cheerfully with a happy little hop. "Let's just go and sign out at the front desk and we can get you a train ticket back to the Labrynthian!"
>Helga's eye twitches for a moment before she uncrosses her arms and she smiles
>And SMILES!
>At you!
>Oh you can just SMELL the bucking friendship in the air!
>"How around you do me a favor and start signing me out?"
>She points over at the bathroom
>"I have some business to take care of."
>...Oh
>Yeah, you could understand if she wanted to to go and use the bathroom herself for the first time in months
>You had seen what the nurses had to do to her...
>...There were tubes everywhere
>In places that they shouldn't be...
>*Shutteringintensfies*
>It was education as all heck but you could do without seeing IT ever again
>You nod once again as the doctor and the nurses leave the room, making your way to the door
"I'll wait for you out in the lobby," you tell her
>Helga smiles just a little bit wider
>"Yeah... you do that..."
>You watch as the cow makes her way to the bathroom and closes the door before making your way out of the room, humming one of Pinkie's tunes to yourself
>Should you have maybe stayed in the room to make sure that Helga didn't do anything funny?
>Maybe
>But you were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt
>What the hay was she going to do? Go run up to the castle and try to pick another fistfight?
>Princess Luna had almost beaten her to DEATH
>If that didn't scream "stay away from my colt bitch" than you don't know what did
>Helga probably wanted to leave the city as quickly as she could so that Luna didn't try to come down here and try to tear her a new on--
BANG!
>You freeze mid step in the middle of the hallway as a thunderous bang shakes the whole building
>...
>...
>What the buc--
BANG!
>You stumble forward a bit but manage to catch yourself before you hit the ground
>WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT?!?!?!?!
>Ponies are start to poke their heads out of doorways, looking around nervously
>The "I'm going to run out of here screaming like a colt" type of nervous
>And to be honest you might be getting a little nervous yourself
>It sounded like a hydra and pounding at the walls
>BANG!
>You looked around, your wings spread and your horn at the ready
>Where the buck was that coming--
BANG!
>Your eyes widen and you gasp
>It was coming from the room where you left Helga!
>Whatwasthatfillydoing?!
>Cursing, you spin around and sprint back into the room
"HELGA!" you yell, pounding on the bathroom door with a hoof. "HELGA WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU--"
BANG!
>Once again you're almost thrown off of your hooves
"HELGA! HELLLGGGAAAA!!!"
>You're greeted with silence
>You didn't need to be a genius (though you were) to figure out Helga was trying to do something nefarious
>...
>...
>And you had to say that stung a little
>What
>Were you not good enough to be her friend/penpal?
>Because you'd be PERFECT for both of those!
>Gritting your teeth you take a step back and charge forward, slamming your shoulder into the door
>...Ow
>That... hurt a heck of a lot more than you thought it would
>But you had to suck it up!
>Nopainnogainkuz!
"HELGA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING--"
BANG
"BUT YOU BETTER STOP DOING IT AND GET THE BUCK OU--"
BANG
BANG
BOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!
>This time you're knocked off of your hooves as the hospital shakes so hard that for a moment you think the whole building's gonna collapse
>BuckbuckBUCCCCKKK!!
>You have to get in that bathroom NOW!
>Growling to yourself, you get to your hooves and eye the door with all of the hate in your little horse body
>You WILL knock this bucking thing down!
>Charging at the door long last time you brace yourself and grit your teeth
>The second that you body connects with the door you can see the hinges holding it snap under your weight, sending you and the door crashing to the ground
"HELGA!" you roar, scrambling to your hooves with a spell at the ready...
>To see a big, gaping HOLE IN THE WALL
>How did she--
>Why did she--
>...
>...
>...
>Shit
>You just kind of sit there and take it all in for a few minutes as you look through the minotaur-sized hole that led outside to the city
"Oh... the princess is going to be SOOOOO MAAAADDDDDD" you murmur, getting up and poking your head out the hole
>...
>...
>...
>Huh
>You can see your house from here...
>...
>...
>...
>Man does it look like a shit hole
 
BE HELGA
>You find yourself stumbling through the back alleys and dead streets of Canterlot, your teeth gritted and your eyes half-lidded
>You could feel a deep, horrible burn throughout your body with each step you take and it was REALLY starting to piss you off
>Even though you had been doing your best to keep your body in tip-top shape it is still far too sluggish for your taste
>It had been FOREVER since you've felt sore and you didn't care for it
>Like really didn't care for it
>Every tendon felt tight, every muscle felt flabby and useless
>You were sweating your tail off by just WALKING and you were breathing heavily
>Without even looking at yourself you KNEW that you were disgusting and small
>Anon would laugh his fucking socks off if he saw you like this...
>Bedfeels.jpg
>But that wasn't going to be a problem for long
>You might have gotten your ass beaten by that princess last time
>And you might not be anywhere near as strong as you needed to be to win Anon
>But you were going to get something that would give you the strength to kill GODS
>A substance so EVIL and so TWISTED that just the very thought of it twists your stomach
>It was an evil, corrupting thing that destroyed some of the greatest bodybuilders in history
>You had been taught your whole lifting career that this stuff was no good
>That it would fuck you up if you took it...
>But there was no fucking way that you were going to back down!
>So what if your body was destroyed!
>So what if you had to sell your soul to get stronger and bigger and better!
>This wasn't for YOU
>This was for Anon
>When he sees you beat the shit out of the princesses he'll hop into your arms and let you carry him into the sunset and you'll build him a great big house and the two would get married and ALL of that shit!!!
>...
>And if not well...
>Well
>Let's just say that that colt's gonna be yours even if you have to carry him kicking and screaming
>Colt didn't know what they wanted until they got it anyway
>You continue to weave through Canterlot, leaving the nicer, newer parts of the city behind and moving down to the older, more dangerous parts
>The guards almost never patrolled around here, which meant that this was where every low-level crook and ner-do-well thrived
>Every criminal and... other things
>If you knew the right people you could get everything from weapons to drugs to whores here
>But you were looking for something that only the most diabolical, the most evil, the worst of the worst trafficked and sold
>People that weren't even considered PEOPLE
>More myths than people now that you thought about it
>Thank the gods you knew just where to look
>After chasing away two muggers and breaking someone's arm you find yourself standing in front of a Silver's gym
>It was a smallish, single floor gym that looked like it had seen better days
>The place looked like it was about to fall in and you could smell the sweat and decay from outside
>Taking a look through one of the of building's broken to see that the inside looked as bad as the outside
>The gym equiptment was rusting and broken, the mirrors were dirty and cracked with broken glass lying all around them, and in that gym were some of the meanest looking weightlifters that you had seen in a very, very long time
>Growling to yourself, you throw open the door and quickly make your way toward the bathroom
>Even though you're FAR smaller than you like to be you're still the biggest fucker in the gym so not even the owner of the place says a thing to you as you strut in like you own the place
>Holy Tartarus...
>The bathroom was even WORSE than the gym area...
>Did...
>Did someone REALLY rub shit against all of those--
>A??????????????n?????????????d?????????? ??????w????????h?????????o???? ???????a??????????r??????????e???????????? ???????????y????o??????????????????u??????????????????
????????????
>Your fur stands on end as a voice booms out in the empty bathroom
"Who the buck was that?" you growl, putting up your dukes
>The lights flicker and you think you see something out of the corner of your eye but there's nothing
>This bathroom isn't big enough to HIDE anyone so where--
>You resist the urge to back away as an unholy laugh fills the air
>I???????????? ?????????b?????????????????e???????l?????????i?????e???????v??????????e??????????????? ?????????I????? ?????????a?????????s??????????????k????????e??????????d??????????????? ??????????y???o???????????u????? ???f?????????????i??????????????r????????????s???????????t???????? ??????d??????????????i????????????d????????? ???????????????I???????? ???????????n???????o???????t????????????? the speaker asked in what you had to assume was amusement.
>You try to locate where the FUCK the speaker was but there was NOTHING IN THIS BATHROOM
>...
>...
>Did...
>Did it get colder in here suddenly?
>The lights flicker again and you swear to all of the gods that you can feel something brushing up against you
>You're trying not to freak the fuck you but there's this... WRONGNESS IN THE AIR
>And it made you want to fucking leave RIGHT NOW
>But you--
>You bit back a yelp as something crashes against one of the bathroom's lockers, a black blur flashing across your vision before it disappeared
>Nope!.jpg
>"N?o?w? ??t??e??l??l? ???m???e?,? c???h?i?l?d??,? ?w?h?y? ??a?r?e?? ??y??o??u?? ?h?e?r??e???"
>Try to open your mouth to respond but just find yourself shivering
>Though you couldn't SEE whoever was talking you could FEEL them in this room
>And it didn't take a genius to figure out that whoever, or whatever, it was that was in this room with you wasn't too... friendly
"I-I'm here because I'm looking for... something," you reply, shuffling in place nervously
>Holy Tartarus were you nervous...
>Scared even
>The mystery speaker hums loudly before once again chuckling
>There's a flurry of movement behind you
>"Ah?? ??y?es???.??? ?N??o?w?? I?? ??k???n?o??w? ?wh??y??? ?y??o???u??? ??a?r???e?? ???h??e??r?e???,? ??H?e?l??g??a.??"
>Your eyes widen
>How in Tartarus did he know your--
>"Y?o?u?? ??w?i???s?h?? ??t??o?? p?a??rt?a?k?e? ?i???n? ?t??he? ???u??n?h???o??l???y? ?s??u???b?st?an?c??e???"
>You can't help but take a nervous step forward when you feel a foul breath wash over you neck, and spinning around to see something that made you retreat further into the bathroom
>It was a small, hunched over creature draped head to foot in a black hood
>The only thing you could see were a pair of bone white gnarled hands with long bony fingers and a red, worn out fannypack
>It was a creature of gym legend
>A dark and horrid monster that was an omen of ill tidings
>A bathroom troll
>The room only seems to get colder and you dryly gulp
>Notreadyforthis.txt
>The troll regards you through the darkness covering its face, its whole body cocked to the side
>"Is?? t???h?a??t ?n?o???t? ?w???h?y? ???y?o?u? ?a??r???e? h??e???r??e??,? ??c??hi?l?d?it asked, limping toward you
>You try to keep backing away but your rear hits a sink, making you jump
>A low whimper of fear escapes your throat but the troll pays you no mind as it gets closer, obviously waiting for you to say something
>Come on Helga!
>It's just some little DYEL punk in some faggot get up
>you could toss his ass through this wall if you wanted to!
>So stop being so fucking scared
>STOP. IT!
"T-That's why I'm here," you manage to say as the creature, this monster, comes within a foot of you, it's hidden face looking you up and down as if searching for something
>"T???h??e?? ??s??ub?s?t??an??c?e?? w?i?l??l? ??d??e?s???t?r???oy??? ?y???ou? ??a??s? i?t??? ?h?ad? ?d??o???n??e? ??w??i??t?h? ?s?o? ??m??a?n??y?? ?o??t??h???e?r??s?" it says after a moment before chuckling once again
>That chuckle is not a very nice sound
>It was like listening to a child screaming while someone scratched up a chalkboard with their fingers
>It was grating, it hurt your head, but most of all it pissed you the fuck off
>Who the buck does this thing think it fucking is?!
>You growl, picking up the vile creature and slamming it against one of the bathroom's walls
>The troll doesn't even bother to struggle as you pin him against the wall with a single arm
>Sweet gods
>He weighs a heck of a lot more than he looks
>And the fucking SMELL...
>you resist the urge to gag and tighten your grip on the little creature
>If he things for one fucking second that he was leaving here without giving you what you had come for than he had another thing fucking coming!
"Listen here you little shit," you snarl. "I don't give one single FUCK about--"
>You gasp as the troll casually reaches down and grabs your wrist, almost breaking it
>Oh fucking FUCK!
>You try to move away but the troll keeps you in place with a single hand
>you growl once again, your muscles strain and flexing as you put everything into getting away from this little monster but those damned hands of his keep you in place with its unholy strength
>Now that you were close enough you could see through the darkness covering its face to see the face under the hood
>Your stomach churns and you try to look away but the troll's other bony hand grabs you by the chin
>Holyfuckingshit!
>You try to struggle but you could not move an inch
>This troll
>This... demon had you right here he wanted you
>And for the first time in a LONG time you felt...
>...
>...
>Fear
>Really, unadulterated, animalistic fear
>Y???o?u? ar???e?? a??n?? ?a?n??g?r?y?? ???o??n?e??," the troll muses, leaning forward and giving you a terrible jagged-tooth smile with it's broken and yellowed teeth. "On??e ??f??u?l?l?? ?o??f? h??a?te? a???n??d?? ???w???a??n???t??? ?a???nd ?l??u???s?t??."
>It leaned so close that you were nearly kissing, its razor sharp nails gliding across your cheeks and throat
>You could feel its milky and discolored eyes peering into your very soul itself before it let out another "happy" giggle that made your stomach do flips
>"I??f?? y???o??u?? a??r?e?? g??i???v?e??n? ?t??h?i???s?? p?o???w???e?r??? ???y?ou? ??w??i??l??l ?l?o?s?e?? ?e??v?er??y?t???h??i???n?g?? ?th?a??t?? ???yo?u ?ha???v???e?? ?e?v??e?r?? ?an??d?? ??w?i??ll?? ??ev??e???r? ???c???a?re ???f?o??r??.???"
>The words chill you to the bone but you remain firm
>This was for Anon
>For ANON!
>You force yourself to look into its eyes
"I'm willing to lose everything to get Anon," you manage to croak out, your legs shaking and your heart beating a mile a minute
>the creature seems to think that's hilarious and lets loose another volley of giggles before releasing you and falling gracefully to the floor with a thud while you scramble away from it
>"Y??ou?? ???s??ha??l??l??? ??r??ec??e??ive?? ???th??e ??su???bs??t??a??n??c?e??? ?t??h??at??? ?yo??u?? ???wi?s??h??? ??for? ??," it says with a snap of its boney fingers. "Y??o?u?? ???w??e??r?e? w???a??r??n??in?g? ??w??e??ll??? ?e?n??o?u?gh? o???f ?y?ou??r?? ?o?nc?o?m?i?ng ?da?mn??a???t??i???o??n?? ?."
>It looks at you a moment longer before turning around and limping away
>"D?o?? ??n??o ??b?o?t??h??e?r?? ?p??r??a???y???i?ng? ??t??o?? ??y??o?u???r ?go??d?s??,?? mo?rt???a?l???.? ?N???o??t ev?en??? ?t?h?ey? ?w??i??l?l? ??b??e? ??a?b?l??e?? ???to??? ??s???a?v??e??? y?o?u? ??f??r?o??m ??t??h??e??? ?p??a?t???h ???th?a?t? ???y?o??u??? ?h???a???v??e?? s??e???t ??y?ou?rs???e?lf?? o??n.???."
>The troll seems to shimmer as the lights in the bathroom flicker, and it gives you one last sickening smile before it;s just... gone
>"...No???w? ??t?a?k???e? ???up?? you???r?? w???e??a?p??o?n?s?? ?a?n??d? ??l?et?? ?t??h??e??? ??w??ho???l?e? ??o??f??? ???cr??e??a??t???i?o?n? ??f?e???a?r? ??y??o??u?.?..."
>You just stand there for a few minutes, staring blankly at the wall
>You felt... dirty
>And not just your body
>Your mind, your SOUL felt like it could stand for a good scrubbing
"Holy fucking FUCK," you murmur, clenching your chest before turning around to look at yourself in the sink's mirr--
>...
>...
>Oh sweet, sweet gods...
> Sitting neatly in a row on the edge of one of the sinks was a bottle of water, a shaker cup, and a tube of one of the most dangerous, evil, VILE substances know to all of creation
>Something that the gods themselves had feared and battled since the beginning of time
>Something that could not be destroyed or locked away
>It sucked the light, hope, and joy out of everything and anything
>It was a soulless substance, a thing so evil that words could not describe it
>Creatine
>Your legs threaten to buckle as you stare at the unholy bounty laid out before you, your mind racing
>Though you desperately wanted to LEAVE you hooves simply wouldn't move
>The Creatine almost seemed to be calling out to you
>Dark whispers assaulted you ears, promising you the strength and power and the destruction of all that tried to get in your way
>You could tell that the whispers were from vile and unknowable things, things that wanted you to simply burn, and they'd say anything to you to make that so but...
>But...
>What if they were actually telling the truth?
>What if they just wanted to help you win over Anon?
>You find yourself taking a step toward the sink
>Then another
>Then another
>Step by step you seal your own fate and the fate of all of those that dwelled in this city
>You knew that you shouldn't do this
>You knew that it was against nature and goodness itself
>That is would destroy you
>But...
>But still you found yourself moving toward that sink and eventually within arms reach of your "tools"
>Your hands find the shaker bottle and with practiced ease you have 25g of creatine in the bottle with 8ozs of water
>The... shake in your hands feels... wrong
>But still you find yourself bringing the vile potion to your lips
>For Anon...
>For Anon...
>FOR ANON!...
>You cough and sputter but force yourself to drink this...
>This...
>Thi--
>Ohshittheworldjustwentfuckingblack!!!
>You groan as a wave of pain hits you like a sledgehammer right in the gut, forcing you to lean forward and grab into the ends of the sink
"Oh... F-FUCK!"
>You gritted your teeth, gripping the edges of the sink like your life depended on it
>You could feel EVERY muscle in your body twitch as your body got hotter and hotter
"What's... help... me..."
>Your whole body spasms and a low whine escapes your throat
>You squeeze the sink just a little bit harder and you can hear it start to crack
Y???O??U ?A?R???E?? ??O?U?R?S? ??N??O?W?
>You throw back your head and howl in pain and fear
>You could HEAR your bones breaking and your muscles tearing
>You could feel the muscles reforming and the bones expanding
>You could taste and smell blood, your blood, dripping out of every orifice
Y???O???UR?? B?O???D??Y?? ???I???S? O?U??R???S??
>What you were experiencing was like every nightmare that you had ever felt all wrapped into one
>Another whimper escapes your throat, though it doesn't sound like you
>The voice is deeper, darker... viler
>There was a buzzing in your ears shaking you to your very core and rattling your brain in your skull
Y?O?U??R?? ?MI?N?D??? ???I?S O??U?R?S??
>As your body spasms again your head jerks forward and up so now you're able to see yourself in the mirror
>And it's a sight that you'd rather not see
E?V???E?N?? ?Y???O?U???R?? ??S??O?U?L??? ??N?O?W??? B???E?LO??N??G??S??? ??T???O?? U??S?
>Every single vein in your body was stand out against your fur as clear as day and you could see your muscles breaking down and growing through pure black eyes
>There's this red steam pouring off your body as you grow inch by inch
>And...
>And...
>Are you sucking in LIGHT?
>This was a bad idea
>You needed to find someone to help fix this
>You needed--
A??N??D?? N??O??W ??O?U?R? ??P??O???W?ER ?I?S?? ?Y??O???UR??'??S ?T???O?? ?U??S?E?
>You can feel the power flowing through your body with each passing moment as you increase in size
>After a minute you are a hulk-like creature of pure muscle
>A minute after that you're even bigger
>You're growing something that you could never be without using this... creatine
>You were bigger than you had ever dared dream of becoming
>And your strength...
>This...
>...
>...
>...
>THIS!
>It was the strength that you wanted
>...NEEDED
>The strength to kill the very gods themselves
>The strength to make the very foundation of creation itself shake!
>You can't help but smile at the mirror as you give the sink one last squeeze
>It crumbles in your hands like stale bread
>Still smiling, you stand to your full height, your head brushing the top of the bathroom, looking down at your hands and clenching and unclenching them
>...
>...
>Yes
>This would do...
>...PERFECTLY
"Swiggity Swooty... I'm COMING for that booty..."
 
Be YZYY
>G'day, kranky, and such and such
>It's another day another dollar in this diamond dog eat diamond dog world
>And there you are, sitting in your office in your very own gym, being the sick cunt that you, your mother, and the rest of the world knew you were
>Getting that dosh and dick err'day
>Like every Tuesday morning you had fucking smashed your chest day, eated your first and second meals of the day, and were about to hit up the town to see if there were any qt stallions out and about for you to snag
>Momma was hungry for some cardio hotties tonight!
>All you needed to do was get one of your employees to watch over the gym and lock up your office and you could get out of here for a few hours and--
Y?O??U??? ?A?R?E ?O??U?R?S??
>...
>...
>...
>Oh no...
>Your breath hitches in your your throat and you freeze as something... dark fills the air
>Something dark and something cruel and something... other
>Your office grew colder and darker, the lights flickering on and off for a moment while your eyes widened in surprise
>Ufukkenwotm80?!
>Though for most the sensation wouldn't even have been noticed (fucking normies) you, being the sick cunt and life-long lifter you were, not only could feel the evil in the air but you knew what the fuck it meant
>And it wasn't fucking good
>Wasn't good at all
>With a shaky hand, you reach up and pull the sunglasses off of your face before dropping them to the ground
"Sweet mother of the natty gods..."
>...
>...
>...
>You knew what you had to do
>Your heart beating a mile a minute you kick down your door (fuck the police) and raced through your lobby, ignoring the confused looks of your patrons as you hop and weave around them
>Time was of the essence
>You needed to warn the people of Canterlot that something dark and terrible was about to bend this city over and try to fuck it right up the bunghole
>Ponies needed to find places of safety to shelter themselves
>Sick cunts needed to be out in full force to stop this evil
>And you needed to make sure that you didn't get fucked up in the process and--
>...
>...
>Er, you meant that you needed to go out and get as many people into the RR shelter underneath your gym as soon as possible
>Youweren'tashittyperson.jpg
>Almost decking an unsuspecting mare you race into the powerlifting section of your gym until you reach a wall with a small red little metal box that read:
<<ONLY BREAK ENCASE OF NATTY EMERGENCY>>
>You don't bother using the little hammer sticking to the side of the box, instead just reeling back and breaking the breakable glass with your elbow
>...Ow
>Why the fuck did you do that?
>Nevermind!
>You still had to warn ponies and shit!
>Inside of the box there's a little handle
>Something that looks so innocent but means something far more
>Something dark
>Something terrible
>Something that could kill everyone in this city if no one was ready to step up to the plate and be the sickest cunt around
>You can feel every gym members eyes on your back as you stare at that little handle
>They knew what that little box was, and they knew what it meant that you had broken it
>You could feel the unease and even fear in the air, and you weren't going to lie
>You were pretty fucking scared yourself
>An evil such as this hadn't been seen in your lifetime...
>...
>...
>...
>Come on cunt!
>Even though you weren't brave or strong enough to face the monster outside you could at least send a warning
>So what if you were scared?
>Momma didn't raise no pussy!
>Taking a deep breath, you grab the handle before looking back at your friends and colleagues, powerlifter and bodybuilder and crossfitter alike
"Alright mates!"
>Gritting your teeth you pull the handle as hard as you can
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
>A siren, loud and wailing, rings out
>It's loud enough for the whole city to clearly hear so everyone would be properly warned
>Your part in all of this completed, you turn around
>Alright Yzyy
>You got a bunch of scared mares in here
>You needed to say a few words to calm them down so you all could work together to see this through
"We got a motherfucker running around on creatine!" you roar, throwing up your hands
>Bestleaderevar.png
>Before anyone had time to react you grab the nearest mare and push her toward the door
"This is not a fucking drill! I fucking repeat, this is NOT a fucking drill!"
>The gym rats looks at each other
>You can see the fear in their eyes
>But you could also see the determination and resolution
>They knew what to do
>Without another word half of them sprinted out of the gym and the rest started grabbing plates and barbells
>As of now this gym was a stronghold
>These gym rats were your soldiers and you were the commander
>You all were going to bring as many into this gym as you could and you knew that all over Canterlot every single gym was doing the same
>You were going to lock this shit down with iron and muscle
>But you didn't know if it would be enough
>Creatine was a dark and evil thing
>But it was powerful
>Powerful to the point of impossibility...
>But you had all trained and planned for this shit!
>This creatine user would get fucked up right quick if you all stuck to the plan!
>...
>...
>...
>Sweet Zeus you hope that it was going to be enough
 
BE ANON
"Come on, Shining! It wasn't even THAT bad!"
>"..."
"I'm sure that you've gotten caught messing around with Candy once or twice."
>"..."
"And all of that wasn't even my fault! They came onto ME. I'm not a very complex guy, Shining, all it takes for someone to make me do whatever they want is that they shake their ass in my face and BAM I'm doing it!"
>..."
"And even you, Mr. Grumpy Mc Scrunchy pants, have to admit that the princesses have a GREAT pair of asses! There was no way in HELL that I could resist."
>You had been in a bit of a will of battles with Shine pone for most of that afternoon
>One that you didn't feel was really that big of a deal
>Sure
>You spent days and days doing your forefathers proud by fucking a pair of princesses (it still counts if they're still horses, no matter what anyone says)
>And sure
>Him and Cadence had caught the three of you in a particular... heated secession
>A VERY heated secession
>But so what?
>HE fucks a princess on a regular basis
>He should know how awesome it is
>But noooooo!
>You were a HUSSY
>A big ol' hussy that he was ignoring!
>What kind of bullshit was that?!
>Shining huffs, crossing his hooves and looking away from you as best as he can all curled up in your arms
>You HAD thought that all this widdle grumpy pone would need is a hug but you had thought wrong
>The grump was strong in this one
>But this young ponewan would not defeat the cuddle side!
>Not if you had anything to say about it!
"Come on, Mr. Grumpy horse," you say, giving his ear a scratch. "Why don't you talk to your buddy Anon?"
>Though he tries to wiggle away from your scratchies he doesn't tell you to stop
>Good... good
>This one would break soon
"Come on, why don't we go down to that tea place that you like?"
>Your hand slowly travels from his ears down to his neck
>Shining twitches but there's a great big frown still on his face
"Come on... just say something... you big baby"
>Shining once again huffs
>"Oh, I'm being a baby?" he says irritably. "Well at least I'm not some slut that puts out for every mare that lifts her tail."
>Hey now
>The words
>The words hurt Shine pone
>Or would if you were a man-chick horse... thing...
"To be fair a princess lifted her tail and demanded that I show her a great time," you pointed out, giving his tum-tums a scratch. "Two princesses in fact."
>"You only went out on two dates with them!"
"Two pretty good dates."
>"You didn't even play hard to get AT ALL!"
>Shining huffs but you can see one of his back legs slowly start to kick
>It wouldn't be much longer until you turned that widdle horse frown upside down
"Why the hell would I play hard to get? And you seem to keep forgetting that they had their asses in my face. I'm a slave to the booty and I cannot lie."
>"And you made them take THREE days off just so the three of you could RUT like ANIMALS!"
>Fuck yeah you fucked like animals
>Dathorsepussywasdopetho.jpg
>Shining finally looks up at you, his expression angry and his leg kicking like crazy
>Growling, he pokes your chest with a hoof
>"And you know the worst part about all of what you did is?"
>...That you didn't have anything to tape your fuckathon with?
>Cause that would have made the whole experience just a bit better you thought
>"You three and me and Cadence are part of a HERD. We were all supposed to ease you into getting intimate with a pony!"
>He once again pokes your chest with his little marshmallow hoof
>"I was supposed to hold you head and whisper that everything was fine and that you were doing great while Cadence or Celestia or Luna slowly kissed and touched you to see what you liked and what you were okay with!"
>...
>Really?
>That's what he's all huffy about?
>...
>...
>This sounded like a fetish thing to you
"So you're mad that you didn't get to watch your wife and aunts make sweet, sweet love to me?" you asked, not bothering to hide the amusement in your voice. "I'm not gonna lie, Shining, like some plot to some shitty romance novel..."
>Hah
>Shining's a cuck
>...Do they call it something different here
>You bet they do
>And you bet it's a bullshit horsey version
>Shining stiffens, a blush coming to his face
>You stare down at him, waiting for him to make some kind of retort or at least defend himself
>...And wait
>...And wait
>And-
>...Wait a fucking minute...
>No way...
"That's not true, is it Shining?" you ask. "You really didn't read that shit from some novel? Right?"
>Shining takes a real interest in his hooves
>"...N-No..."
>Shaking your head, you chuckle
>Fucking silly lewd little ponies...
>..."A-Anon?"
>You feel Shining's hooves wrapping around your neck and looking down you see those big blue eyes of his staring up at you pleadingly
"Yeah Shining?"
>"Please don't tell Cadence... I'll let you take me anywhere in town but pleasepleasePLEASE don't tell my wife that I was trying to reenact a scene from Fifty Shades of Yellow..."
>Fifty Shades of...
>What the fuck was...
>...
>...
>...
>A whole scene? Really?
"A whole scene? Really?" you tease, your smile widening
>Shining just blushed harder, muttering to himself as you carried him through the hallways and outside onto the streets
>Like usual, the streets are filled with little pones running around doing little horse things and other such nonsense
>And, like usual, you and Shining are getting stares from the city folk
>Like like you give a fuck
>You can carry a little horse about like he was a baby and not one of these ziggers was gonna stop you
>#thug5life
>Weaving through the crowds you leave the busier parts of the city and make your way into the quieter, less known sections of the city
>Yep
>You'd take Shining to that little tea shop that you carried him out of that one time
>He'd probably like that and--
RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>You freeze as a siren's wail fills the air
>A siren that you knew all too well...
>Oh god...
>It was happening wasn't it?
>That horrible thing that every bodybuilder f-feared?...
>...
>...
>...Sweet mother of god no...
>In your frozen, shocked, and terrified state you accidently drop Shining to the ground with a soft thud
>"Anon?!?!" the widdle pone cries, scrambling to his hooves to glare angrily at you. "What the hey--"
>"Shining! Anon!"
>Though you're still frozen to the spot you see Twibright spacknolift run into your field of vision
>Huh
>It looks like she's been running
>Good
>A pudgy, pudgy little horse like her NEEDS to run around once in a while
>And and stop eating all of that fucking fast food
>...Fucking tubby, tubby little book hoers...
>Shining looks at his little sister in shock, either ignoring or forgetting the siren in the background
>"Twilight? What the hay are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to watching..." He looks at your frozen self before leaning toward her.
>"Well... you know... Helga," he whispers, like you wouldn't fucking hear it being like two feet from him and all
>Book horse looks this way and that
>"That's just it! Helga got away from me!"
>Your eyes widen, and you can hear your heart pounding in your chest
>No...
>Helga wouldn't do something like...
>She might have been an asshole and a piece of shit but even SHE wasn't dumb enough to...
>...
>...
>...
>Oh god no...
>She actually did it didn't she?
"Guys," you say, interrupting whatever the hell these two little horses were saying. "GUYS!"
>They look up at you as you scan the streets fearfully
>There's not a little horse in sight
>You didn't know if that was good or bad...
>Grabbing the two of them by the scruffs of their necks, you start to drag them backward
"We need to get off the streets NOW."
>You needed to rush back up to the castle and warn the princesses
>You needed to get everyone to Yzyy's gym
>But most of all you NEEDED to get off the streets
>You were all sitting ducks out here like this
>... Please don't let Helga be the reason that these sirens are going off
>God?
>Buddha?
>Zeus?
>Help a nigga out?
>"Anon!" Twilight cries. "What the hay is going on? Why are these sirens blaring for no reason? Why do you look so scared?"
>Her eyes narrow slightly
>"Do you know where Helga is? I have the guards looking for her but they haven't found her and--"
>"Oh AnOn!"
>The hairs on the back of your neck stand up
>Ohshitwhatwasthat?!
>You can see the looks of fear coming to both Twilight and Shining's face as that...whatever it was called out
>You can FEEL something coming this way
>The ground was shaking, in the background you could hear ponies screaming and yelling, and the houses around you were shaking
>SHAKING!
>Twilight and Shining wiggle themselves from your grip and back away with you
>"Oh AnOn! CoMe OuT cOmE oUt WhErEvEr YoU aRe~!"
>You recognize the voice the second time it rings out
>Though it was warped and fucked up you KNEW who the speaker was...
"That stupid bitch actually did it," you whisper in fear. "Why in the hell would she even consider doing something like that, much less DO it..."
>The ground seems to be shaking for longer and now you can hear a heavy thud hitting the cobblestone streets off in the distance
>Whatever, or however, was coming closer...
>Fuck...
>You NEEDED to get off the fucking streets...
>"I cAn SmElL yOu AnOn!"
>Nope
>NOPE!
>Nopenopenopenopenopenope!!!!
>"Anon!" Shining whisper-shouts at you. "Do you know what the BUCK is going on?"
>You hear a loud crash and a scream coming down from a few blocks away from you
>Both Twilight and Shining try to step toward the sounds but you wrench them both back
>No no little pone's
>This... thing is beyond both of you
>Every instinct in your body is screaming at you to just turn tail and run until you couldn't run anymore but your head was telling you different
>Running would be bad
>Running would just help her find you faster
>...If you could even consider her a SHE anymore...
"I might have an idea or two," you say as the three of you turn a corner.
>This street is as dead as the one that you had just been in
>Good
>"Well, are you going to let us in on what's going on?" Twilight asked, her wings fluttering and twitching against her side
>Looked like book horse was getting ready for a fight
>It wasn't going to do you all any good, but it was nice to see that she wasn't about to shit her pants
>Her metaphorical pants
>Since she doesn't usually wear pants
>...
>...
>God were you scared right now...
"Well..."
>There's another crash and another scream and the three of you find yourselves moving just a little bit faster
"If what I'm thinking is actually happening then Helga's going to be one hell of a problem."
>Taking a deep, shaky breath you inhale the air
>There was something in it now
>Something... foul
>You watch as both Twilight and Shining's horns spark to life
>"Helga? Why? What did she do? What is she bucking doing?!"
>You shush Twilight when her voice gets just a bit too loud for your liking
"That dumb cow went and used the foulest thing that a bodybuilder can use."
>If you weren't so fucking scared right now you'd say that Twilight was looking at you in excitement
>Fucking scientifically-minded little horse...
>"And what DID she use?"
>You gulp
>You didn't want to utter its name
>Like REALLY didn't want to
>You were a good weightlifter
>You ate your oats and you weight trained five times a week
>You trend hard and ate clen for fucks sake!
>But...
>But Twilight needed to know what you were probably up against
"She was using... creatine..."
>You watch as the fear and curiosity leave Twilight's face, confusion and disbelief replacing it
>"...Creatine? Really?"
"Don't SAY that word!" you snap. "You give evil shit power if you keep saying that!"
>Twilight just up and stops in the middle of the street, planting her rump onto the ground and just... staring at you like the dumb, dumb little tubby pone she is
>"You're worried about someone taking bucking CREATINE?"
>Her frown deepened as you flinch
>She REALLY needed to stop saying that...
>"Creatine is something that's naturally produced when you eat meat!"
>...She said it again...
>She throws her hooves up in the air
>"If that's all she took then I don't understand why the heck you're worried about something as silly as Helga taking--"
BOOM!
>The three of you are thrown off of your feet as the entire street shakes
>"WeLl, WeLl LoOk WhO i FiNaLlY fOuNd..."
>A deep, booming chuckle echos up and down the street as you lay there
>Don't look up...
>Don't look up...
>Sweet mother of god don't look--
>Cursing, you look up to see something that may as well have come straight out of your nightmares
>There, casually leaning on a building was a... thing
>It must have been fifteen feet tall, with muscles so enlarged that the skin covering the thing's frame looked like it was going tear if she moved
>This thing was big
>Every single inch of her was covered in muscle and veins
>Looking at its face you noticed that the eyes were as black as night and those teeth were just a BIT too long and too sharp for any natural creature
>And this wasn't a natural creature
>This was something that had come out of the aether
>A demon straight out of the darkest pit of hell
>And, looking down you...
>...
>...
>...
>Oh fucking shit...
>You were going to be fucking SICK...
>Helga (at least you assumed it was Helga) apperantly hadn't worn any pants when she had escaped
>Such was the usual for minotaurs since they had hair covering their junk and shit
>But it looked like Helga had gotten a new fucking add-on when she decided to dive into creatine use
>There, twitching proudly in the open air, throbbing and pink and longer and thicker than your arm, was Helga's clit, that had went ahead and just said fuck it, I want to be a FUCKING GROSS DICK THING NOW!
>...
>...
>...
>Yep
>You were going to be fucking sick...
>thebodywasnotreadyatall.png
>Helga catches you eyeing her... thing and smiles hugely
>Ew...
>She cilt TWITCHED....
>"DiD yOu MiSs Me, AnOn? 'CaUsE I mIsSeD yOu~"
>You gulp before looking up at the monster that Helga had become
>Sometimes in life a man has to look death, and worse, in the face and punch that fucker straight in the mouth
"Nope!" you cry, hopping so fast to your feet that your shirt nearly flies off your body
>"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!"
>This was not one of those times
>This was not one of those times at all
>No motherfucker was going to be brave for SHIT when girls were running around with giant cilt-dicks!
>Fuck
>That
>Shit
>Son
>Grabbing Twilight and Shining you haul the little pone's up under your arms, spin around, and run down the other fucking direction as fast as your fucking legs can take you
>Behind you you hear a unholy and ear-splitting bellow
>"OHHHHHH! I GOT A RUNNER HUH? FANTASTIC~"
>"RUN FASTER ANON!" Shining cried as the sound of hoof rapidly breaking cobble stone came from behind you. "SHE'S BUCKING CHASING US!"
"I AM ZIGGER!"
>"DID YOU SEE THAT SHE HAD A DICK! BECAUSE SHE HAS A BUCKING DICK!!!"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING RUNNING FROM?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?"
>gottagofast!
>gottagoREALLYfuckingfast!
 
BE CADENCE
>Welp
>It had been a... rough afternoon with you and your aunts
>For OBVIOUS reasons
>But you managed to make up with the two of them pretty well you liked to think
>You were a big mare
>You didn't hold grudges or get pissy for long
>All you needed to do go get the anger out of your system was to yell a bit, throw a table or two, and pound your chest for a little while and everything was as right as rain in your book
>Allisforgivenmyziggas.txt
>And all honesty what the two of them did wasn't all that BIG of a deal
>They found out that Anon put out easily and was a freak in the sack and they acted on it
>It was a good thing to know and you'd have done the same thing in your position if Shining would have let you
>Now you knew all you'd have to do was ask the human for sum fuk and those sexy pants of his would be off before you finished your sentence
>You didn't need to take him out to dinner
>You didn't have to tell him that he was pretty or beg him for sexy times
>And you didn't have to buy him anything!
>Sweet Faust did you pick out a keeper
>After you had gotten your fill out of yelling at your herdmates and after the two of them apologized and you all hugged and all of that stallion-y shit was all finished and you had all sat down, got some tea and some cakes, and decided to talk about something
>Something so important that it COULDN'T wait
>How was Anon in the sack?
>A colt might put out easy, but if he sucked in bed then what good was rutting him?
>You didn't want to be the one doing all of the work
>And you most certainly want Anon to bite your teats off or get a little too daring with those hands of his
>But it looked like you didn't have to worry about anything like that it seemed
>From what Celestia and Luna were telling you Anon, after getting used to the both of them (the whole horse anatomy and all of that jazz), had passed the rutting test with flying colors
>Like REALLY passed
> A++ tier
"And you're saying that he SWALLOWS?" you ask, disbelief evident in your voice. "I can never get Shining to swallow after he eats me out!"
>Grumbling you take a sip of your tea
"He always runs to the bathroom to sip everything out..."
>HE sips your cum out but if you don't swallow for HIM than you're a JERK for some bucking reason
>Sure he doesn't NEED to if you he gets you to finish but it just adds a little something to have him look up between your legs and just gulp everything you gave him right down
>...
>Bucking colts...
>Both Luna and Celestia smile, Celestia nibbling on a cake and Luna putting another sugar cube in her tea cup
>"He seems to be quite fond of cunnilingus," Luna says, a dreamy smile coming to her face.
>"And he REALLY seems to like it when we just get up and sit right down on top of him," Celestia adds, wiggling her eyebrows and rocking back and forth in her seat. "He says it gives him more to grab into~"
>You all take sips of your tea
"And his cock?"
>Celestia grins
>"It's a bit thinner than a stallion's and the head's weird but it's pretty much just like any other dick."
>"Nay, sister," Luna says with a shake of her head. "His does not flare when he's about to cum and he doesn't have a medial ring. that DOES make it far easier to take his member into thine mouth comfortably and suck him for all your worth. And We believe he tastes... cleaner? Yes, cleaner than a stallion. Cleaner and a bit better."
>"I thought he tasted pretty good myself," Celestia says thoughtfully. "Maybe it's because he doesn't have a sheath?"
>Luna shrugs
>"We do not know, but what we could drink that cum of his if we were able."
>Celestia makes an agreeing noise as she sticks another cake in her mouth
>"I know right? I've never tasted cum that SALTY! That shit's awesome," she says. "But he never seems to cum as much as a stallion does...."
>Well, that makes sense you guess
>From the few times that you've seen the colt naked you've managed to get a glimpse at his sack
>Not that you were PURPOSEFULLY looking or anything...
>...Well, he was just WAVING them around that one time so you couldn't help but oggle them for a few seconds
>...
>...
>...
>Don'tyoubuckingjudgem8
>Though they looked oddly right with that cock of his it didn't look like it was holding all that much
>Which was kind of a shame since every once and a while you always liked to be get... FILLED up
>If you know what I mean
>You must have had a concerned look on your face because Celestia touched your shoulder with a hoof
>"Luna and I managed to fix that with a few spells but if you want him to REALLY coat you with cum he's not doing it naturally."
>Luna nods
>"We will make sure to teach thee these spells in the near future, Cadence, we are sure that thou will find a use for them."
>You all take another sip of your tea
>Weallclassymare'sinhere.png
>"With no flare you almost have no idea if he's about to cum or not, especially if he's pounding you like you owed him money, and that's weird the first time you start running, but you get used to it."
>"Aye, and most times to keeps rutting even after he's cum... and it takes him SO long to finish..."
>Both of your aunts sigh in contentment
>"It was fantastic..."
>Oh it sounds like it
>You couldn't WAIT to have a ride yourself...
>You were about take another sip of tea when you hear someone pounding on the door
>"PRINCESS! PRINCESS! SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING!!!"
>The three of you freeze, looking at each other in confusion
>Who the buck was trying to interrupt pone princess tea time?!
>Didn't they know you were having an important, and lewd, conversation
>Celestia's horn glows and the door flies open, revealing a bruised and haggard guard
>...What the buck happened to him
>Panting like he had just run a marathon, the guard scurried into the room
>Putting her tea cup down, Celestia leans forward, a small, worried frown coming to her face
>"Did something happen, my little pony?" she asked
>The guard nodded so hard that his helmet almost flew off of his head
>Holy day does he look like he's seen some shit
>Now YOU'RE starting to worry about what the buck was going on...
>Well
>It couldn't be that bad right?
>"T-There's a giant... thing tearing through the city! The guard tried to stop it but... but..."
>...
>...
>...
>Alright then
>It really was that bad...
>Shit
>The little guard sat down, exhaustion evident on his face
>"We couldn't even slow it down..."
>You and your fellow princesses look at each other before standing up
>There was some monster running through the city?
>Not if you three had anything to say about it!
>"Worry not, guardspony, We will see to whatever this problem is ourselves!" Luna said with a stomp of her hoof, her wings flaring out
>"My sister and I will smite anything that DARES to threaten our little--"
>"T-There's something e-else I need t-to tell you, Highnesses."
>For some reason, your stomach tightens as you look at the shaking pony
>He...
>He wasn't shaking a moment ago...
>Was... Why...
>"It's about that human, Anon..."
 
BE ANON AGAIN...
>You know, cardio gets a lot of flack in the weightlifting community
>It's hard, it's boring, it's not weightlifting, and it's the hitler of gainz
>At least that's what MOST lifters think
>You, on the other hand,knew better
>Cardio was good for the heart, it got the blood flowing (making it a pretty fucking good way to warm up), and it was great while you were on a cut but didn't want to eat less
>You might have hated to run as much as the next guy but you did it most days for the athletic benefits
>And for... other reasons...
>You see, you did most things because it was beneficial to something that you wanted to do
>You did a specific routine during different parts of the year for your competitions, you ate a certain amount to bulk or shred, and you ran because if the benefits stated above and, as stated before, you were a coward
>You had always figured that you'd need to be able to run away from someone or something during some point in your life
>Something that would beat your ass or kill you or eat you
>You know, shit like that
>And it looked like you were right
>"STOP RUNNING ANON!" Helga roars, those massive hands of hers reaching out toward you. "STOP RUNNING FROM MY LOVE!"
>You yelp when you feel the tips of her fingers brushing against your back and just run that much faster down the streets, dodging around ponies and carts and a whole bunch of other shit
"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!"
>To be fair you REALLY didn't run with a weighted vest or anything (you hadn't seen the point in making cardio any worse for yourself than it already was) so running with two little ponies under your arms was starting to wear on you a little
>Which wasn't that ideal when one was being chased by a rapist's monster, but you were making do
>And it also helped that these two little horses were doing their best to get this heifer off of your back
>"HEY! YOU LEAVE ANON ALONE YOU BULLY! HE'S NOT YOURS!!"
ZAP!
>"YEAH! What my brother said!"
ZAP!
>"THIS is for destroying the city!"
ZAP!
>"And that's for not wanting to be my penpal! WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT TO BE MY PENPAL?!?!"
>Helga lets out a roar each time Twilot or Shine pone blast her with their death magic, though it barely slows her down
>In fact the magic looked like it wasn't even scratching her
>And even though you couldn't directly see what they were shooting at her you knew that the two little horses in your arms weren't shooting flowers and puppy dog kisses at her
>So it looked like creatine made the bitch fucking magic resistant or something like that along with super big and strong and ugly and CRAZY!
>Lucky fucking you huh?
>"I'M GOING TO GET YOU, ANON!"
>THE FUCK YOU WERE NIGGA!
>Giant fingers once again brush against your back, this time nearly knocking you off balance
>"AND WHEN I DO THE TWO OF US ARE GOING TO GET /REAL/ ACQUAINTED!"
>Twilight answers her with a blast to the face, causing her to stumble as whatever she cast explodes with enough force to launch the three of you through the air
>Somehow, either by the grace of god or by your ninja-like reflexes, you manage to land on both feet, not breaking your stride and you continue to run as fast as your legs will let you
>"ARUGH!"
>Panting slightly you turn the corner and tighten your grip on both Twilight and Shining
"Hey! Does anyone got a idea who to get this bitch off my fucking back?" you demand as a cart flies overhead and lands in front of you
>Yelping once again, you manage to swerve around it
>Man FUCK Helga!!!
"Cause I'm starting to get fucking tired!"
>"We need to get her out of the city!" Shining says, throwing another spell the monstrosities way. "If we keep running around like this then someone's going to get hurt!"
>Yeah!
>YOU'LL get fucking hurt!
>...
>...
>...
>Wait
>MAGIC!
>These little horses had MAGIC!
>They could just fucking teleport you out of here!
>Out of here and away from dick girl back there
"Hey! Why don't one of you guys just teleport us out of here?"
>Yeah
>Teleportation would be awesome
>Fantastic even
>And it'd--
>"We can't do that!" Twilight says, blasting Helga again. "If we just teleport you out of here willy-nilly she might go berserk and REALLY go nuts."
>...
>Oh, she she wasn't fucking tearing shit up NOW?
>The fuck was she doing then, book horse? Trying to fucking sell you three girl scout cookies?!
"I'm not fucking running all through this city, Twilight! You two are gonna get too fucking heavy and she's gonna catch up eventually!"
>You jump over a screaming pone
"You gotta think of something!"
>You WILL drop these two little zigga's if you have to
>You might have liked these two but you sure as FUCK weren't gonna get caught by the giant bitch behind you
>Not in a zillion years!
>Not when she had A DICK!
>Twilight just kind of goes limp in your arm, and you care hear her humming thoughtfully over the screams and the magical blast and all of the fucking roars
>Fucking book hoers
>"...Anon!"
"What?!"
>"I think I have an idea!"
>Oh thank god!
"Alright! What is it?"
>You stumble as Twilight rolls out of your grasp and Shining's ripped out from between your other arm
>"You're going to have to trust me, Anon!"
>Trust?
>What the fuck is this bitch talking abo--
POP!
>One moment you were running through the streets of Canterlot with a giant monster minotaur nipping at your heels
>And then you blinked
"What the fucking," you scream, stumbling forward as the terrain you're running on becomes a hell of a lot more unstable
>Looking around you see why
>You were standing on a rooftop of the building that you had been running beside
>"Just keep running, Anon!" Twilight yells up at you. "Me and Shining will do our best to keep her off of you while I try to think up something else!"
>The fuc...
>Did that bitch just abandon you?!
>On top of a fucking roof?!
>where Helga could CLEARLY see you?!
>FUCKINGBOOKHORSE!!!!!!!
>You and Helga just kind of stand there staring into each other's eyes
>Predator and prey
>Pursuer and pursuee
>David and the rape monster
>...That's how the bible story went, right?
>"YOU JUST NEED TO KEEP RUNNING!"
>You blink and Helga grins
>"RuN aLl YoU wAnT, hUbBy, It'Ll Do YoU nO gOoD~"
Almost without meaning to, you take a step away, nearly tripping in the process
>It looked like roofs weren't as stable for a grown ass man as you thought they were
>It felt like if you moved funny you'd just fall through the fucking thing...
>But hey
>It couldn't be that hard to run on roof tops
>The guy from assassin's creed made that shit look easy
>And he was DYEL as FUCK
>...
>...
>...
>You REALLY didn't want to be running on fucking roof tops though
>That shit was dangerous son
>The streets are quiet for a few seconds
>Shining is staring at you, Twilight is staring at you, there's a fuckton of random ponies staring at you, and you're just kind of awkwardly standing there, doing your best not to fall off of this roof
>Even Helga, with her creepy ass looking smile, seems kind of confused about the whole situation
>It seems that cows get confused when you just appear on top of a roof
>...Or maybe you're supposed to say something right now to stare this whole thing off again?
>Well FUCK that
>You're fine with the whole "no bodies moving because of reasons" thing
>You're tired
>You could stand for a breather and--
>"RUN ZIGGA RUN!"
>And just like that the confusion was gone from Helga's face, once again filled lust/rapists intent
>...
>...
>...
>Well fuck you too random pone...
>Helga takes a step toward you, flexing her massive arms and...
>And...
>I'mgonnabesick.ogod!
>...her DICK twitches
"NopenopenopenopenopENOPENOPE!"
>Who gives a FUCK if this roof was sketchy as fuck
>Who give a fuck if ALL of these roofs sucked shit and were unstable
>You were still gonna be running like a motherfucker if that bitch takes another step forward!
>Gottagofast2.0
>Twilight takes into the air with her pretty princess wings and Shining picks up a wagon with his magic
>"Don't you worry, Anon!" he says. "We got your back! Just keep running!"
>Rolling her eyes, Helga simply raises an arm up and braces herself as Shining tosses the wagon at her as hard as he can
>The wagon was heavy duty as shit, made with oak and braced with iron, and it looked like it could take one hell of a beating, but it exploded the second that it hit Helga, dust and wood and metal flying everywhere
>You have to hit the deck as a wheel flys by your head
"Holy shit..." you mutter
>Huh
>You didn't know that Shining had that in him
>Mirinthatthrownbruh.jpg
>That was probably enough force knock down a row of buildings and it showed on Shining's face as he swayed back and forth, panting as hard as you were
>"I wIlL dEaL wItH yOu AnD tHaT pUrPlE fAgGoT lAtEr."
>You can't help but watch wide-eyed and open mouthed as a giant hand sweeps away the debris and dust, revealing an irritated looking Helga, who didn't look AT ALL hurt
>...
>...
>Creatine is some SHIT...
>Glaring at Shining for a few seconds more she turns her attention back to you and once again smiles
>"NoW wHeRe WeRe We?"
>...
>...
>...
>RUNNING!
>You were RUNNING!
>And you should start doing that right NOW
>And with that you take off like a bat out of hell
>From behind you a bellow loud enough to shatter eardrums and break windows fills the air
>Nopenopeneopnopenopenope!
>Runrunrunrunrunrunrun!
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
>WatRU doing nigga?!
>You gotta stop yelling!
>You need to BREATH
>Breath and run and notgetfuckingrapedbythatdick!
>Who would have thought it, but running on top of roof tops was a hell of a lot harder than it looked
>There was not a single inch of the roof that wasn't wet or slippy or had a tile that was ready to break away the second that you put your foot on it
>And once or twice you damn near fell off of the roof
>But you were running as fast as you ever had in your life
>One roof top led to another, then another, then another until you were traversing the rooftop highway with ease
>Altair ain't got SHIT on--
BOOM!
>You once again stumble as a house behind you just up and buckles
>ITJUSTUPANDFUCKINGFELLOVER!
>The very earth shakes and the boom is so loud that it made your ears ring
>Thankfully adrenaline and the will to live keeps you on your feet and running even faster than before
>WASTHISBITCHTRYINGTOKILLYOU?!
>"Do YoU tHiNk YoU'rE sAfE uP tHeRe, AnOn?"
>Trying not to piss your pants you up your pace
>You'd like to think you were safe up here
>But SHE was fucking that belief right the fuck up!
>The moment you hop off of one roof THAT house falls down
>Then the next one that you run across
>The the one AFTER that!
>You desperately look around to see where and how Helga is just up and knocking down houses without stopping but you can't seem to spot her
>How you couldn't see a fifteen foot hulk monster is beyond you but FUCK THAT
>You need to focus on running
>And not falling off the roof and breaking your neck
>When each house fell it blew up debris and dust so now you could barely see in front of you, let alone behind you
>JUST KEEP RUNNING NIGGA!
>JUST RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS LIKE ANY RESPONSIBLE ADULT!
>JUSTKEEPRUNNINGJUSTKEEPRUNNINGJUSTKEEPRUNNING!!!!
>Twilight flies by you, firing a beam of magic into one of the houses
>Why the hell was she...
>"Anon! she's running IN the houses now! She'sinthehouse!!!"
>Running In a house?
>What the fuck does--
>Before you can take another step you're violently stopped, thrown up into the air, and brought downward so fast that your vision blurred and it felt like your stomach hit the back of your throat
>You're vision darkens as you feel a searing pain in one of you legs and you're pretty sure you finally pissed yourself
>Hopefully you managed to somehow piss on Helga
>The crazy bitch...
>Welp
>You had a good run Anon
>You hit the weights hard
>You partied harder
>And you managed to fuck two princesses at the same time
>Looked like it was time to head up on Mt Olympus to that golden gym in the sky
>...
>...
>...
>...Ugh...
>...
>...
>...
>Wait...
>You still feel like SHIT!
>So unless you're in hell right now you're... you're...
>You're not dead!
>That means you're alive!
>Sweet!
>That means you can keep on being the suckest cunt around!
>Though you'll have to go ahead and change your pants first...
>Shaking, you close your eyes and take a deep, deep breath
>Since you still didn't know where you were and you couldn't see (please baby Jesus don't let me be blind) you took a few precious seconds to collect yourself
>Alright Anon
>FUCK whatever just happened, that's not important right now
>You need to get up and keep moving
>You NEED to GET UP and keep MOVING!
>Slowly but surely the world stops spinning and your vision becomes sharper
>And, blinking a few more times to try to fix your eyesight faster, you see where you ended up
>"HeLlO ThErE," Helga says, with you in one of her giant hands
>You flinch as her foul breath watches over you
>Though your head is swimming and your limbs are weak you try to struggle to get away from her
>But it's no use
>It's like trying to move a mountain...
>Helga grabs your head with her other hand, keeping you in place
>Though you can tell she's trying to be gentle it still feels like she's trying to crush your skull
>It hurts
>It hurts more than anything you've felt before
>You try to scream but one of her fingers covers your mouth, doing your best to thrash around
>"Aw, HoNeY, iT lOoKs LiKe YoU gOt NiCkEd WhEn I gRaBbeD yOu," Hela says, looking you over with a frown
>She lets your head go and you just go limp in her grasp
>She was being CAREFUL and she almost BROKE YOU!
>How was Shining going to get her away from you when she was THIS STRONG?
>How was Twilight?
>Their magic didn't work and she had you in her grasp so they weren't going to start blasting or throwing shit again
>And if this bitch hits one of them there's a good chance that neither would get back up again
>...
>...
>...
>You...
>You can't get away
>There's no hope...
>...
>...
>...
>...Fuck...
>Shielding you with both hands, Helga slowly walks through the ruin of the house that she had created and back out into the streets
>"DoN't WoRrY, i'Ll GeT yO--"
BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
>Helga lets out a surprised bellow as you're ripped out of her grasp and thrown into the air
>She tries to grab you until a golden beam of magic hits her square in the chest
>There's another boom and the monster of a minotaur flies back into the ruin of a house
>You close your eyes and brace yourself for the cold, unforgiving cobblestone below
>And wait...
>And wait...
>AND WAIT...
>Alright
>What the fuck is going on?
>Is this one of those times the second you open your eyes you hit the ground?
>...
>...
>...
>Fuck it
>What else do you have to lose by looking
>Getting hurt more?
>Cracking open an eye to see that you're floating in the air by a...
>...Magical aura?
>"You bucked up cow."
>Once again blinking you look up
>There, with their wings spread, their manes wiping around wildly, and their eyes and horns glowing with power, are Celestia, Luna, and Cadence
>And boy do they not look happy at all
>Cadence in particular looks like she's going to murder someone
>"You bucked up REAL bad..."
 
BE CADENCE
>The pink pone with pride, principle, popularity, and... something else that begins with a P
>Right now you had went and gone super saiyan, unlocked god mode, and punched in the Konami cheat code (aka Celestia had lent you a suit of awesome magical armor and now you were ready to beat someone to death with you mutts) so you were strapped and ready for the mother of all tussles
>You were angry
>Angry about Canterlot being destroyed
>Angry about all of the ponies that were scared and injured and left homeless
>And you were bucking ANGRY about the state that your human was in
>You were NOT happy about that AT ALL
>No siree!
>Carefully holding Anon in your magical grasp you descend to the street and place him on the cobble stone street as gently as you can
>Poor Anon looked like he had just run through Tartarus
>He was covered in sweat and dust and even blood, his clothes were torn and dirty, and his breathing was ragged and he was holding his side
>You hear him let out a quiet whimper the second that you put him down, and as he curls into a ball you can't help but feel your heart wrenching
>Here was your colt, beaten and hurting, and you hadn't been there to protect him
>You had broken your promise to this here colt
>Even after all of your training
>Even after eating all of that bland and healthy food and leaving the gym half dead six days a week
>You had failed to keep him safe...
>Badfeelsfilly.org
"Anon," you say, your hooves gently touching him. "Anon, sweetie, tell me where it hurts."
>You look him up and down, trying to find out where he was hurting
>For all you knew that bucking monster had gone ahead and torn up his insides!
>Him, a colt!
>Just the thought of it makes your blood boil
>It really took a vile kind of monster to hurt someone that could barely defend themselves
>But Anon wasn't going to have to worry about this particular monster for much longer
>The second you finished fixing him up you and your aunts were going to take that beast out of the city and PUT. IT. DOWN
>There was no going to the moon for this thing
>It wasn't going to be locked up in the Underworld for a thousand years
>And there was no way in Tartarus that it was going to get the luxury of being turned into a lawn ornament
>The three of you were going to blow this bucking thing to smithereens and tear its soul to a million pieces
>It was going to be bucking WIPED from existence
>No one hurts a stallion from the royal herd without getting BUCKED UP
>But before divine wrath fun times you had a human to fix up
>It takes a bit of coaxing but you managed to get him uncurl and lie on his back
>"Somethings... broken," he grunts, hand still holding his side. "A lot... of somethings... are... broken..."
>Heartache+10
>You hear Luna and Celestia land behind you
>"Is Anonymous well, Cadence?" Luna asked, walking past you to stand over Anon, looking over him with concern in her eyes
"He says that something's probably broken," you say, your horn glowing as you lean down. "Give me a second and I'll fix him right up."
>You hear Celestia charge up a spell right next to you
>"We'll do it all together, Cadence," she says, nodding toward Luna, who's horn also sparks to life. "There's a good chance that we'll have to conserve our energy for this battle."
>Nodding you touch your horn against Anon's forehead as Celestia's and Luna's magic slowly covers his body
>Spells to dull pain, spells to heal, spells to rejuvenate, the three of you pump as much magic into your human's body, trying to heal him as quickly as possible all the while eyeing the hole in the house that you had sent the beast through
>"Princess!"
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Twilight and Shining running toward you
>"Thank goodness you're here, we needed--"
>You see the color drain from Twilight's face when she sees Anon on the ground
>"Omygosh! ANON!"
>Your sister-in-law makes to run over to his side but Celestia stops her with a wing
>"Twilight Sparkle," your aunt says, an angry scowl on her face.
>You can see her pawing at the ground and looking at the hole in the wall with warrior-like focus
>Gone was the motherly and loving monarch that had raised you
>This...
>This was the warrior queen of centuries past
>And she was ready to tear someone to pieces
>"Get everyone you can away from here as best as you can."
>She looks over at Shining
>"Shining, go with your sister. The three of us will need some space for our little scuffle."
>The two of them try to open their mouths to say something but Celestia silences them with a hoof
>"The two of you are not needed in this fight, but you are needed to keep our little ponies safe from harm. Do you two understand?"
>You see Twilight take a few steps backward, her ears pinned against her head and her tail tucked in between her legs as she nodded
>"O-Of course, P-Princess," she says, almost shaking as she does her best to keep eye contact with her absolutely furious mentor. "But w-what about, A-Anon?"
>Though her face doesn't change in the slightest, the air around Celestia seems to shimmer
>"Don't worry about Anon, Twilight, he will be safe with us."
>With a flick of her horn she cuts off her healing spell and a second later you and Luna do the same,
>Though his eyes are closed and his breathing was just a bit too shallow for your liking there was Anonymous, YOUR Anonymous, as good as new
>Giving Anon one last look, Celestia calmly walks around her and toward the hole in the wall
>"For whatever reason this... monster decided to attack MY city, threaten MY little ponies, and hurt MY Anon and do heaven knows what to him."
>Though it could be a trick of the light you swear you see a bit of her magic catch on fire before returning to it's rainbow color
>"So I will keep Anonymous right here, right within arms reach."
>You're aunts seems to get bigger with each step she takes, her mane and tail moving like an angry flame
>"I want her to see the colt that she so desperately wanted, I want her to try to reach out and touch him--"
>Celestia her mask finally breaks, her face twisting into an expression of pure fury
>Snarling, she reared up before coming down hard on her front hooves
>The street underneath her buckles and cracks
>"While I BEAT HER TO THE BUCKING GROUND!" she snarls, and you can FEEL the heat coming off of her from thirty feet away
>"I want this... thing to know complete hopelessness. I want it to know that it's fighting a losing battle. There will be no glory, there will be no mercy."
>She closes her eyes and you can see her try to reign herself back to a state of relative calmness
>Though it doesn't look like it worked to well since her mane and tail were kinda still... on fire
>3scary7me
>"She will know that the wrath of the gods and she will know pure /terror/!"
>Her eyes open, revealing pure white eyes
>"COME CREATURE AND FACE THY DEATH!"
>...
>...
>...
>Holy hay
>Angry Celestia is a scary Celestia
>Scarylestia is NOT bestia
>There's a rumble from within the ruined house
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that it was a laugh
>"AnD yOu ThInK yOu'Re GoInG tO bE aBlE tO bEaT mE?" a voice rumbles out in amusement
>In the blink of an eye a hulking... thing erupts from the ruined house to stand over Celestia
>Though there appeared to be a bit of blood (which was black by the way) pouring from the things face, and one of its arms was bent at an awkward angle there was a great big smile on its face
>Your aunts stands her ground as the monster grabs it's mangled arm and snaps it forward
CRACK!
>From the corner of your eye you see Shining start to dry heave as Twilight does her best to drag him away from what's probably going to be your battlefield
>That's right Twilight
>Get everyone out of here
>A gut feeling tells you that you're not going to be able to drag this thing out of the city
>You're going to have to put it down
>HERE!
>...Well it's not like you have a CHOICE or anything
>...
>...
>...
>Hopefully Twilight gets everyone out
>You're sure that you and your fellow princess can keep the fighting contained in a small area in the BEGINNING
>But later...
>"I'm not just going to beat you, I'm going to utterly destroy you," Celestia says with utter confidence as the beast leans down so close to her that their muzzles are almost touching
>Flexing its now fixed arm the creature's grin only grows
>"We'Ll JuSt SeE aBoUt ThAt."
>Not taking your eyes off of the monster you gently pick up Anon and place him away from the four of you
>Don't you worry colt
>No one's gonna lay a bucking FINGER on you
>Not while the three of us are still kicking
>And maybe even after THAT
>As Celestia glares up at the hulking thing you see Luna crouch low, her teeth pulled back into a snarl
>You yourself getting into a battle-ready stance, your horn glowing
>Alright
>LET'S DO THIS!
>THIS WAS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR!
>TIME TO SEE IF ALL OF THAT TRAINING WAS WORTH IT!
>"We will," Celestia finally says, her wings unfurling from her sides and her horn sparking to life.
"Oh we bucking WILL..."
 
BE ANON
>And...
>...
>...
>...
>Ugh
>You can't help but let out a low groan as you open your eyes
>Holy hell did you feel like shit
>Like the "going back to the gym after resting for a month and smashing legs and this is the next day" type of shit
>Deciding to be a bit of a baby you roll on the cobble stone for a bit and whine and bitch and-
>...
>...
>...
>Wait
>Why the hell were you laying on the street?
>What the--
>In a flash it all comes back to you, the hulk-monster Helga, you running on top of houses like a baws, Shining and Twibright shooting and throwing shit, and finally the princesses coming in and blowing Helga through a house
>And then...
>Well you can't REALLY remember anything past that...
>Scrambling to your feet you look around in panic, expecting to see Helga standing over you with her giant, and fucking GROSS, lady dick ready to rape the SHIT out of you
>But instead there's nothing but ruined buildings, cracked streets, and a fire here and there
>...
>Huh
>What the hell happened here?
>Did someone have a party without inviting--
>Wait!
>No one else was here!
>That meant HELGA wasn't here!
>Fucking sweet!
>PraisegawdOmighty.jpg
>Oh thank god Helga still didn't have you!
>You wanted to stay a booty virgin 5ever thank you very much!
>Sighing in relief you take a moment to appreciate just how fucked up Canterlot looked from where you were standing
>In fact it looked like the only place that was relatively untouched was where you had happened to be laying
>Huh
>Look who lucked out!
>Taking a deep breath you put your hands on your hips and just stand there in this war zone, trying to think of what the hell you were going to do now
>...
>...
>...
>Wait
>Did those niggas just LEAVE you in all of this shit?!
>By yourself?
>Sleeping in the middle of the street?
>While they were going fucking DBZ out here or whatever they were doing?!
>...
>...
>...
>Man, FUCK your friends/girlfriends!
>You wouldn't leave THEM to the mercy of a giant rape monster!
>No sir
>Your pa raised you better than that!
>Frowning, you take a step forward and--
BONG!
"MOTHERFUCKER!" you cry as your face smacks into something hard and painful
>*Angryhumanswearing*
>Rubbing your face you look up at a... shimmering multi-colored shield that was all around you
>Huh
>Now you know why the hell you weren't as fucked up like the rest of city
>Still, fuck this thing tho
>Damn near broke your fucking nose
"Um... Candy? Woona? Celestia?" you call out, reaching out to touch the shield
>Though it wasn't shocking you or anything like that (thank god) it looked like you weren't going to be going anywhere
>This shit was on lockdown
>You couldn't push this thing or nothin'
"Hey, is anyone out there that can get me out of this thing?... Except if you're a giant minotaur with a girl-dick, YOU can fuck right off in the other direction."
>You're answered with silence
>Alright then
>Guess you're going to have to come up with a plan B
>...
>...
>...
>Could you?....
>No way in hell that something like that would work right?
>...
>...
>...
>Eh, fuck it
>Despite your better judgement you take a step backward and cock a fist
"YOLO!"
>You punch the shield as hard as you can
>...Which, in retrospect, was a BAD fucking idea
>It was a shield: a thing that was designed to block blows
>And your hand was neither a hammer or an axe, so you weren't breaking SHIT
"FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!" you howl, hopping around your little prison, clenching your hand close to your chest
"CUNT BITCH FUCK SHIT! CADENCE! LUNA! SOMEONE! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS THING! I GOTTA TAKE A--"
>...
>...
>...
>What the hell was that?
>That thing that was on fire
>And flying through the air really fast
>Right at you
"Oh shi--"
BOOM!!!
 
BE CADENCE
>"HAVE AT THEE, BEAST!"
BOOM!
>"I'M GONNA TEAR YOU'RE FUCKING LEGS OFF YOU FUCKING WEAKLINGS!"
>CRASH!
>"LUNA, WATCH OUT!"
>Sweet Faust were you tired
>You, Celestia, and Luna had been fighting up and down the whole city with this... demon
>The three of you had blasted it with spells so powerful that they melted stone and lit LAVA on fire, you had hit it with everything from your hooves to buildings to giant chunks of stone
>You all had been fighting and swearing and hitting as hard as you could, and you all were bruised and panting and bleeding in some way
>But this... thing that you were fighting...
>"GET DOWN HERE YOU PUSSIES!"
>You watch as the monster rips a statue (StarSwirl the Bearded you think) and chucks it at you with terrifying amount of speed before letting out another nightmare-inducing bellow in your direction
>Swearing, you snap your wings shut and dive downward, ears pinning to the side of your head as the statute whizzes a few inches to the left of your wing
>Holy hay was that a LITTLE too close for comfort...
"YOU MISSED!" You snarl, unfurling your wings right when you were about to hit the ground
>Now flying glow to the cobblestone you race toward the beast
>Ignoring the burning in... well everywhere you power up a spell
>No more mister nice mare!
>It was time to get your second wind and beat the Tartarus out of this thing!
>When the monster sees you flying toward it it smiles, spreading it's arms out wide
>"COME ON THEN!" It roars, not seeing Luna sneaking up on it, murder in her eyes
>I"M GOING TO--"
>With a battlecry your aunt spins around and bucks the monster in the back as hard as she could
>"FUCKING!--"
>You can't help but grin as the monster stumbles forward, its eyes wide with surprise
>Heh
>Nothing personal filly
>With a battlecry of your own you unleash your spell
>A giant blue beam shoots out of your horn and smacks the beast full in the chest
>Though you put enough power in it to tear through a mountain like it was tissue paper, all it did to the hulking thing before you was knock the wind out of it
>Knock the wind out of it and leave it WIIIIIDE open
>Closing your eyes you brace yourself and point your horn down
>Hopefully if your hooves don't break this thing you'll buck it up with your horn...
CRASH!!!!
>Bones crack and you feel a rush of air leave the beast as your hooves slam into it, knocking it clean off of its feet
>Oraoraoraora.itsuseless
>You continue to beat you wings as hard as you can, taking your opponent on a joyride
>First through what appeared to be a library
>Then through a bar (making sure that it hit every single table and chair in the place)
>Then through a random house before bringing yourself to a sudden, stop
>Gritting your teeth you spread your wings out as far out as you can
>You have to force yourself from crying out as you stop almost violently, rolling end over end before landing face up in the middle of some street
>The monster isn't so lucky, and you can hear her continue to go through buildings as you just lay there and catch your breath
>...
>...
>...
>OW!
>...
>...
>...
>Holy hay are you tired
>Panting, you shake your head and roll to your hooves as Celestia and Luna fly down next to you
>"Art thou well, niece?" Luna ask. "Thou seem winded..."
"I'm fine... I'm fine," you say, "We just need to--"
BOOM!
"ARRRRGGGGHHHH!"
>Both of your aunts manage to take off into the air as the house beside you explodes, revealing the beast, battered and bloody, but very much still alive
>...
>...
>...
>Shit
>You had figured that was it end of it...
>What the heck was it going to take to kill this thing?
>Were you going to have to drop the bucking SUN on it?!
>Growling, the monster simply slaps the beam away, sending it through a row of houses
>Holyshit.omg
>"MOVE NOW! WE NEED TO FIGHT THIS THING IN THE AIR! IT'LL TEAR US APART IF WE FIGHT IT ON THE GROUND!"
>You look up at your aunt before looking back at the beast and getting low to the ground, your lips pulled back in a snarl
>BUCK. THAT.
>You were in the mood to beat this thing around on the ground for a while
>And flying was also going to be a little harder now that you noticed a twinge in your left wing
>You must have messed it up using your MLG noscope super move
>Didn't matter tho
>You'd still beat the stuffing out this thing anyway
>Probably
">ThAt HuRt," she grunts
>At least it's bucking bleeding
>If it bled you could kill it
"Good" you reply
>The two of you stare at each other hatefully
>Alright Cadence
>Time to get in the zone
>You do your best to block out your aunts screaming
>You try to ignore your cuts and bruises and shaky legs
>Right now there was only you and this thing
>One on one
>Mono e mono
>A beauty verses a beast
>A--
>As if sensing your inner monologue the monster roars, throwing its head up to the sky and spreading it's arms wide
>You tense and crouch even lower to the ground
>She's a'coming!
>It's eyes red and filled with rage, the thing charges you with it's horns lowered, ignoring every single spell your aunts throw at it
>The spells weren't even making marks on her fur right now!
>That's not good!
>No!
>You gotta stay calm!
>STAY. CALM!
>You, as cool as the other side of the pillow, stay right where you were and wait it out
>Closer...
>You can see the murderous intent in the things eyes
>The second that it got a hold of you it was going to tear you limb from limb
>Closer...
>It's muscles fix and tense and twitch with each step
>You can see ligament and sinew clearly through it's coat
>It almost looks... pretty neat
>CLOOOOSSSEEERRRRR....
>NOW!
>You roll out of the way just as the monster comes within arm's reach
>As it tries to fully stop itself you charge
"AHHHHH!"
>You hoof savagely connects with the things thigh and then you follow up by rearing up and punching it in the stomach
>Unfortunately, unlike your awesome flying dive, this darely moves the thing
>In fact it felt like you had just punched a stone wall
>Somehow, someway this things getting stronger
>First you magic isn't working anymore and now your PUNCHES?
>You REALLY were going to have to finish this anyway you could
>So, being the clear headed mare that you were, you decide to keep on hitting the beast as hard as you can for as long as you can
>Every mountain breaks if you beat on it enough and that's a fact
>Maybe
>Hopefully you'd find a kink in this things armor
>Before you got too tired to swing anymore...
>"YoU'rE gOiNg To HaVe To HiT hArDeR tHaN ThAt," it says, taking a swing at you
>Once again you manage to evade, rolling to the things side and spinning around and delivering a powerful buck against its flank
>"Cadence get away from it!" Celestia demands as you dodge and weave and bite and kick your enemy, who was doing her best to hit and stomp you into a fine paste. "WE can't get a good shot with you right there!... CADENCE!!!"
>The monster doesn't hold anything back, swinging at you with wide but terribly fast and powerful punches and stomping with enough force to shake the ground
>"JuSt HoLd StIlL fOr A sEcOnD, sHrImP. I'lL mAkE iT qUiCk."
>Each time you buck or bite the thing it's swings only seem to get faster and more savage
>Your dodging is starting to become more sluggish and your attacks seem to be doing even LESS than before
>Soon you can feel the monster's paws scrape against your fur with each punch or kick or stomp, and each time a blow nearly connects you're almost thrown off of your hooves
>Shit!
>You might have bitten off a bit more than you can chew with this one!
>Still growling defiantly, you try to back away from the monster so your aunts can take over the fight while you have yourself a bit of a breather
>She MUST be getting tired right?
>If your magic wasn't going to work maybe you could--
"CoMe HeRe!"
>Your eyes widen as a giant hand enters your vision
>Shit!Gottamove!
>You try to once again roll but you're too slow
>You're too slow and you pay the price for it
>Air is forced out of your lungs as the monster's giant fingers wrap around your barrel with a bonecrushing amount of force and lift you upwards
>You can't help but cry out as its hand tightens around you
>Blood rushes to your ears as pain explodes across your body
>Your cry turns into a scream, your horn charging up to blast a spell right into this things face
>"NoNe Of ThAt," it says, tsking, it's other hand grabbing your head
>Your head is forced up into the air as you fire off a spell, hitting nothing
>You can't see a thing through this beast's hand
>But you can feel and...
>...
>...
>...
>Is that blood you taste?
>"NoW wHy DoN't YoU gO fOr a FlY? i'Ll DeAl WiTh YoU AfTeR i KiLl ThE oThEr OnEs."
>You can't even scream as the monsters takes two giant steps and tosses you as hard as it can through the air like a football
>The world seems to blur together as you spin
BOOM!
>Another flash of pain courses through your body, and you very nearly pass out
>You try to move your hooves and wings to try to slow you down but you can't move them from your sides/back
>You're moving just too damned fast
BOOM!
>Another flash of pain, though this one isn't as intense
>Whether it's because your body's finally breaking down or what you smashed into was less dense you didn't know
>Through your haze of pain you can't help but think of your husband
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
>You hoped that he managed to make it out the city alright...
>As you tear through another house your thoughts turn to your favorite human
>Anon was probably awake right now
>Heh, you bet that he was trying to get out of that bubble right now
>Bet you a million bits that his face was all scrunched up in that cute way...
Boom!
Boom!
>...You REALLY hoped that Celestia and Luna would be able to beat that thing
>...
>...
>...
>They'd beat it... They'd beat it....
BOOM!
BOOM!
CRASH!
>You didn't want that monster to take Anon and do all of those horrible things to him that monsters like to do
>You know, buttstuff and the like
>Too bad your body was too fucked up right now to do anything about that
>It would have been awesome if you would have landed the killing blow on that thing
>You could have skinned it and made something cool out of it
>And Anon would have been mirin' you SO hard...
>He probably would ha--
>"Oh fuck me."
>...
>...
>...
>What the buck was--
CRASH!
 
>98%
>...
>...
>...
>...
>99%
>...
>...
>...
>100%
>Cadence.exe is back online
>Pain
>Pure, unfiltered, and honest pain greets you as you come back to consciousness
>Every inch of your body hurt
>It was a mind-numbing kind of pain
>The kind that took away your strength and your breath and made you just want it all to end
>For most ponies this WOULD have killed them
>Or at the very least their nervous systems would just shut down and they'd have passed right back out
>Most wouldn't even THINK of sucking this hurt up
>Most ponies but not you
>No you had to not only deal with this horrible wretched feeling that was your pain you had to get up
>Get up and walk around and do stuff
>There was still a fight to be fought...
>There was still a human to save...
>...
>...
>...
>Come on, Cadence
>You have to get up
>You've probably spent too long laying down as is
>Come on
>Just start out slow
>Open up one of your eyes
>You open an eye and are greeted with nothing but blur, and for a second you can't help but panic
>What if that little crash of your's bucked up your eyes in the process?
>You didn't want to stumble blindly through the city while your aunts were busy duking it out with a monster!
>Sure, you could get someone to fix it with a spell but you had the neither the time nor luxury to do such a thing!
>Youbetternotbebuckingblind!
>You wiggle around (or your body spasms; you couldn't honestly tell which at this point) and you start to blink rapidly to try to clear your vision
>"Are you alright there, bruh? Looks like ya got fukin' wrecked, Cunt."
>You can't help but twitch (on purpose this time) as a voice rings out
>The voice was... nothing like you had ever heard before in all of your years
>Angelic yet human; booming yet soft; confident yet kind
>You blink a few more times, and thankfully your vision clears
>And boy do you see something in front of you when you eyesight comes back
>The sky above you, that had been cloudy and black and stormy when you had been fighting the monster, was open and blue with a god's ray shining right down on you in a golden hue of light that seemed to warm you to your soul and ease a bit of your pain
>But that wasn't all
>No siree
>There, standing before you, was a shirtless winged human staring down you with a confident smirk
>Still blinking you silently take in the man before you
>The man that appeared to be wearing a pair of short-shorts too sizes too small with an air of confidence that would have made your wings twitch if you weren't so bucked up at the moment
>Datbulgetho.jng
>His eyes were the blackest you had ever seen and his skin was a delightful brownish coloration
>Every single muscle looked like it had been carved from stone, and it looked like his hair had been gelled up
>Two massive white wings were spread around his back almost as if they were around to wrap around you and there was this... marking on his chest:
>VENI, VIDI, VICI
>...
>...
>...
>Cadence.exe has frozen
>Please reboot
>Whatthebuckwasthis?!?!
>Whothebuckwasthis?!?!?
>...
>...
>...
>Well you were expecting something like THIS to happen today...
>"Are ya alright there, bruh?" he asked kindly while you just lay there with your mouth wide open. "Ya look like ya've seen a ghost!"
"Y-You too..."
>Andthespagethttisa'flowin'.jng
>Even though you're still in a LOT of pain you can't help but blush in embarrassment as the human laughs
>Sweet mother of Faust was this human handsome
>Like "you'd rip this colt's pants off and take him in the streets if you weren't in a loving relationship and already had a human" handsome
>And he was human
>Which was pretty bucking weird
>You thought that Anon was the only shaved monkey around these parts...
>The angelic being squats down, folding his wings to his sides, and regards you with a smile
>"I bet you're wondering what the fucks going on, eh?"
>Still too shocked to see another human in the flesh you just dumbly nod
>Still smiling, he looks past you
>"We'll, it's a long story, mate, but I 'eard a sick cunt needed some help and I was in the neighborhood and..."
>You can't help but gasp when a pair of hands tighten their grip around your barrel
>Wha--
>Who--
>The bucking buck?!
>Trying your best to ignore the pain you turn your head and see Anon, his eyes closed and a bit of blood leaking down his chin, holding you in his arms with your chest against his back
>"I got 'ere just in time to see ya smack inta yer mate here," the human says while you try to escape Anon's grip in horror
>OH SHIT!
>You must have hit Anon when you were flying through the air!
>You must have hit Anon when you were flying through the air!
>Horseapples!
>He was as probably as hurt as you were right now!
>He might even be WORSE!
>Colts WERE a heck of a lot more fragile than mares
>And you must have hit him going like two hundred miles and hour...
>Thepanicrises.jng
>You needed to get up!
>You needed to see if he was okay and--
>The winged human watches as you wiggle and squirm in amusement before snapping his fingers
>You feel Anon twitch against you and you watch wide-eyed as the bit of blood that was making its way down his face disappeared
>"Don't worry about yer mate, love," the human said. "'He's fine."
>You can't help but gasp as the human reaches down and grabs your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes
>"I am Zyzz, son of Zeus, brother of Hercules.
>" I am the Lord of Aesthetics, Slayer of Bunnies, and the King of Sick Cunts."
>You can't help but gasp again when you feel... something travel from this "Zyzz's" hands and into your body
>You can feel your bones knitting themselves back together
>Your pains and aches are going away
>And you feel stronger than you had in what felt like an eternity
>You try to open your mouth to speak when you see the human's hands start to glow
>Whatthefuckwasgoing--
>"And you will be /MY CHAMPION/!"
BE HELGA
>You are great
>You are huge
>Every single thing about you screams might and power
>You cannot be hurt by mortal or immortal means
>...Though it was a bit of a pain in the ass that that creatine that you took didn't give you wings or something like that
>You might have been fucking STRONG but you still had a hell of a time trying to knock these stupid princesses out of the sky
>You WOULD have started jumping into the air to try to swat or grab them out of the sky but the thousands of whispers going on in your noggin and the berserker rage was making thinking rationally a bit difficult
>#BigGurlProblems
>But just because you couldn't reach them RIGHT NOW didn't mean that you wouldn't get them eventually
>There had to be a puny pony still hiding in one of these houses
>All you had to do was find one and threaten to pop its head off and they'd come right down
>Then you'd be able to beat the hell out of them down here on the ground
>Especially that fucking blue one
>You were REALLY going to take your time with that one...
>"SURRENDER AT ONCE, BEAST!"
>Huh
>Speak of the devil and she'll start yelling
>"THY CRIMES ARE MANY BUT WE WILL GRANT THEE A QUICK DEATH IF--"
>Alright
>Her voice was starting to piss you off and she hadn't been speaking for more than five seconds
>Time to start throwing more shit
>Damn near humming a jolly tune you walk over to one of the houses that was still intact from your little battle (there weren't that many left that could boast such a thing) and grab a corner
>Your muscles barely strain as you go ahead and rip what looks like a section of a living room from the house and lift it over your head
>Alright
>You got something to throw
>Now its time to tell these fucking horselets what you think about their negotiation skills
>Through violence
"ShUt Up!" you bellow, tossing the chunk of building as hard as you can at the princesses
>"LUNA, MOVE!"
>You watch in disappointment as the blue one once again manages to fly out of the way as the chunk of building whizzes toward her
>...Shit
>You thought that you were going to get her that time...
>Oh well
>You'd get em eventually
>They had been only getting more tired as time went on
>You could smell the sweat drenching their coats from here
>You could hear their heavy breathing
>They were absolutely exhausted while you felt like you could have run a marathon
>All it'd take was one slip up, they didn't move fast enough, they flew too low, and you'd have two alicorns dead and skinned within the hour
>Then you could go get that pink one that you had tossed earlier and--
>"Hey cunt!"
>...
>...
>...
>Did someone just call you a cunt?
>Someone better not have just called you a fucking cunt!
>Growling to yourself you look around for the person stupid enough to interrupt your god-killin--
>...What?
>Dozens upon dozens of shredded individuals glare at you with barbells in their grasp from down the street to your left
>Ponies, zebras, gryphons, minotaurs, even a deer or two were all crowded together making their way toward you in an orderly fashion
>Almost like they were going to FIGHT you...
>...Heh
>It looks like hostages went and came to you
>Oh goody
>NOW those two fucking princesses--
>A plate (a 45 you think) comes flying out of the crowd and connects with the side of your face with a loud thud
>Aw
>Look at these guys
>Trying to stop you and shit
>You can't help but chuckle, crossing your arms as they come within twenty feet of you
"YoU'rE gOiNg To HaVe To Do BeTtEr ThAn ThAt," you tell them
>From out of the crowd hops a frowning Yzyy
>SOMEONE doesn't look too happy...
>"The fuck's wrong with you, Shela?" the roo demanded, slapping her tail against the ground with a hearty thud. "CREATINE?! The 'ell were you thinkin'?!"
>She waved a hand around at the absolutely decimated street
>"Look at what ya've fuckin' done to this city!"
>You cock you head at the little mortal as she drones on
>Its odd that in a different life you respected the person standing before you
>But now?
>Now she seemed so... nothing
>Almost like an insect really
>A bug that you'd squish if she didn't shut her fucking mouth and leave you to your business...
>Time to shut this roo up
>You really didn't have time to listen to her spewing nonsense
>You had gods to beat to death
"I sEe TwO mArEs ThAt ThOuGhT tHeY'd Be AbLe To StEaL mY cOlT," you growl, taking a step toward the group
>Satisfaction fills you as the group, every single one of them but Yzyy, takes a nervous step backwards, barbells raised defensively
>They were TERRIFIED of you
>Good
>All was as it should be
"YoU wErEn'T tHiNkInG oF hElPiNg ThEm, WeRe YoU YzYy?"
>The roo continues to hold her ground as you walk right up to her and lean down so you're in her face
"BeCaUsE tHaT wOuLdN't Be ThAt GrEaT oF aN iDeA iF yOu AsK mE."
>The Kangaroo puffs her chest out
>"I was of the mind ta come down here with me and me mates to fuck ya up ourselves but someone else had a lil' something in mind."
>She snaps her fingers
>"Somethin' that WOULDN'T fuck this town up any worse 'an it already is!"
>You watch in confusion as a great big power cage is brought up and set down right next to the two of you
>What the hell were they?...
>"HELGA!" A voice rings out, loud and clear and angry. "I'm gonna kick your giant butt you... BUTT!"
>Your ears perk up and you growl once again
>When did your rampage turn into a fucking circus?
>You had princesses to fucking--
>"Over here you bucker!"
>...
>...
>...
>Alright
>NOW you're gonna kill someone!
"WhO tHe FuCk SaId ThAt?" you demand, stepping away from Yzyy and back toward the crowd
>"I did!"
>Light cuts through the dark cloud hanging over the city and lands right in the middle of the crowd
>On someone that you HAD thought you had crippled
>There, looking like she was just floating in the air for... some reason, was that pretty pink DYEL princess
>But that wasn't all folks
>It looked like that princess had brought some accessories with her
>The mare was now sporting a pair of shades, her mane was spiked up (why you had no fucking idea but whatever) and she was wearing a string t-shirt and striking this weird, dumb pose
>She was looking up in the air and she had her hooves over her head...
>It was dumb
>Like the dumbest thing that you've ever seen
>And you've seen some PRETTY dumb shit in your life
>The crowd parts for the princess, and as she gets about thirty feet from you you see why it looks like she's floating
>There's your husbando, a bemused look on his face, carrying the mare on his back while she just keeps looking up at the sky for no fucking reason
>You feel your eye twitch
>Why
>The
>Fuck
>Was
>That
>Horse
>Riding
>YOUR
>Human?!?!?!
>Myragecanonlyboilsomuch.txt
BE ANON
>Holy hell was this the worst idea that you have ever heard in your whole fucking like
>It could probably go on record as being the stupidest idea EVER
>...
>...
>...
>Why did you even agree to something as stupid as this?
>Why did you let Cadence talk you into carrying her while she struck a fucking pose?
>Why were you walking toward the dick monster that wanted to rape you?
>With its dick
>Its gross pink throbbing...
>Ugh...
>You weren't the smartest guy in the whole fucking world but you weren't THAT dumb
>But here you are, doing the dumb thing
>...
>...
>...
>You know what?
>It's probably the concussion that you most definitely have that's making you do this
>You don't care how OP magic is
>Getting your ass knocked around through buildings and getting hit by a little horse going a hundred miles an hour is going to kill some brain cells, no matter how much you get healed
>So YOU had an excuse for your stupidity
>But all of these motherfuckers behind you?
>Just straight up a bunch of dumbasses
>Your dumbasses, but dumbasses none the less
>Candy Cane wakes your ass up in the middle of the street as right as rain and starts blabbering about some human with a pair of wings and something something something...
>You had kind of tuned her out until she had dragged you toward Yzyy's gym
>And sure that was a dick move, but you thought you earned the right to be a bit of a dick after the FUCKING DAY you've had...
>Sigh
>Welp
>May as well see if you can talk your marefriend (god was that still weird to say) out of doing this
>The dumbest thing in the world that was probably going to get you all killed/raped
"Cadence this is a really fucking stupid idea," you murmur as you watch Helga's eye twitch. "Why don't we just go get Twilot and her friends to solve this shit? They're good at fighting world ending monsters."
>Yikes
>This bitch was UGGGGGGLLLLLLLYYYYYYY
>And only getting uglier the closer you got
>Uglier and madder
>Cadence doesn't stop looking at the sky as she answers, "Don't you worry, Nonny, I bucking got this!"
"No you fucking don't. You're gonna get your ass kicked and I'm gonna get raped."
>Finally breaking her pose (a pose that was familiar to you... though there was no way in HELL that she knew what it meant) she wiggles out of your grasp and looks up at you with that cheerful smile of hers that always made you smile right back
>And even now you feel the edges of your mouth turn upwards even though you try to look concerned and solem
>"Anon?"
"Yeah Carolina?"
>"Be a sweetheart and kneel down for me please."
"...But if I do Helga might run over here and buttfuck me..."
>"Just kneel down you silly. Nothings going to happen, I promise."
>Eyeballing Helga for a second (sweet Jesus did it look like she was REALLY starting to get pissed the fuck off) you did as Cadence said, kneeling down to eye level with her
>Her smile widens as you do so, her wings fluttering against her sides
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that this little princess here thought that this was a date and not a life threatening situation from the way she was looking at you...
>Fucking pone princesses...
>It was adorable sure, but that didn't make your bootyhole feel any safe--
>You twitch as her pulls you close and wraps you in a hug
>"I love you," she whispers, nuzzling your cheek
>You just kneel there for a second, twitching again when you hear Helga fucking growling, but then you just say fuck it and hug her back
>May as well hug this little horse
>This might be the last time you saw her with your anal virginity intact after all
"I love you too, Candy," you murmur back, reaching up and scratching her ear that way she likes
>The two of you hold that hug for as long as you can
>There's no one else in the world
>No giant Helga
>No bodybuilders
>Luna and Celestia aren't flying above you looking exhausted
>There's just you and Cadence
>Your Candy Cane
>Your little pink horse that you used to want to throw out of a fucking window before she found a way to make you fall in love with her horsey antics and little poneness
>Heh
>It's been a crazy couple of months huh?
>Though you would have LOVED to just stay like that for a hell of a lot longer you eventually broke the hug and stood up
"Well... if you still want to do this we may as well not fuck around any longer," you say as Cadence took a step back
>"Don't you worry, Sweetheart," she said sweetly, taking off her glasses and slipping them on you with a spell. "We're all going to make it."
>You freeze in shock as Cadence turns around and makes her way toward Helga, your eyes wide and your mind racing
>Wha--
>How did she--
>Where did she--
>You almost call out to her when... something stops you
 
>You don't know what exactly, but it's almost like something passes through you
>You look up to the sky before whispering,
"...We're all gonna make it bruh...."
 
BE CADENCE
>Alright
>Its bucking showtime!
>"CADENCE?!" you hear Celestia yell happily from the air. "You're alright?"
>You would have said something (your poor aunts must have been worried about you) but you were in the zone as it were
>And if your plan was going to work you needed to STAY in the zone
>One misstep, one wrong word, and this could go tails up
>But it wasn't going to go tails up
>Since you got this shit!
>The gods of fitness were smiling at you and you had a pretty bucking nice t-shirt on right now
>So just keep walking, smile, and look as tiny and not threatening as possible
>Everything will be fine
>The monster that was apparently Helga snarled as you stopped right in front of her
>"I tHoUgHt I bRoKe YoU," she booms out in irritation
>You can only smile
"I got better," you reply
>She stares at you for a long while before looking over at the powerrack that the gym rats had set up
>"I suppose that there's a reason why you brought that out here?" she asked, still sounding angry but you could hear the curiosity in her tone
>You nod
"I have a proposition for you, Helga," you say, motioning toward the rack. "Why don't the two of us stop all of this silly violence and have ourselves a little wager?"
>She raises an eyebrow
>You take that as a sign to continue so you do
"I'm sure that you're tired of fighting me and my aunts, right?"
>"I aM gEtTiNg A lItTlE tIrEd Of ThRoWiNg ShIt At YoU aLl," she admitted. "WhAt Do YoU hAvE iN mInD fOr ThIS "wAgEr"?"
>You can't help but shiver a little
>Holy hay is that voice of her's HORRIBLE...
>Just keep smiling, Cadence
>Just keeeeep smiling
>She's actually listening to you!
>...
>...
>....
>Alright
>Here you go!
"I'll squat whatever weight you put on a bar."
>You and Helga watch as one of the gym rats places one of the barbells on the racks safety pins in the power rack
"If I manage to put it up and lock it out then you surrender to me."
>Helga smiles, and for a second you think she's just going to laugh your proposal off and start pounding on you again
>And sweet Faust above do you NOT want something like that happening
>"AnD iF yOu CaN't?"
>Her smile diminishes somewhat when you smile right back
"Then you can have Anon."
>"THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" you hear Anon shout in panic
>You and Helga ignore him
"And you can do to me and my aunts whatever you feel like."
>Helga's eyes narrow and she leans down
>...Sweet gods does her breath stink...
>"AnD hOw Do I kNoW tHaT yOu'Ll KeEp YoUr EnD oF tHe DeAl?"
>Huh
>It must be your lucky day
>It looks like she's going to go for it
>Bucking sweet
>+50Speech
>You shrug
"I'm down here right now aren't I? All you'd have to reach out and you'd have me, and f you have me my aunt's will probably come down here and you'd have them too."
>You nudge your head toward Anon, who looked about ready to turn around and start running
>Not that you'd blame the poor colt
>You'd be running too if you weren't firing on all cylinders right now
"But then you'd look like you were scared in front of Anon over there and... well..."
>Helga snorts, standing back to her full height
>"I fEaR nOtHiNg, HoRsE," she says in irritation, her chest puffing out
>You once again motion toward the rack
"Then go ahead and pick the weight"
>You big ugly dumb bucking monster...
 
STILL BE CADENCE
>"Art thou sure of this course of action, niece mine?" Luna asked you as you quietly warm up. "We think that this is folly of the highest degree. Something else should be done!"
>"Luna's right, Cadence. There has to be a better way to settle this... competition," Celestia adds, eyeing a smirking Helga hatefully. "How can you even be sure that this... creature will adhere to your agreement even if you succeed?"
>You quietly regard the two as you squat down and pause at the bottom
>Yeah, all of this negativity is really going to help get you pumped up for this shit....
>But you don't blame your aunts for being party poopers
>Both of them looked weary and haggard and about ready to fall over
>And they looked scared; you could see it in their eyes and in the way they moved
>They didn't know what to do, they didn't know what was going on, and they were powerless
>How couldn't they be scared?
>Heck, YOU were bucking scared and you got zapped with some weird hyper-god magic!
>You hold your squat for a few moments more, swaying back and forth
>You wanted everything as loose and limber as possible
>You didn't to fail this because you were too bucking stiff did ya!
>With a shout you explode out of the hole and stand fully up, racking the weight with a sigh
>You want to tell these two ponies, your family and two of your best friends, that they didn't need to worry about a thing and that you had this, but you knew better than to do that
>They'd brush it off, telling you that you couldn't do this, that they were worried that you'd hurt yourself, etc, etc
>Though, honestly, it looked like you had one heck of a challenge ahead of you
>It looked like Helga wasn't going to be as big of a bitch as you had originally thought
>She wasn't going to make you lift a mountain or anything as ridiculous as that
>It looked like she wanted you to lose fair and square because there, looking like it was about to tip the power cage over, was a barbell with twelve plates on each side
>That was one thousand one hundred and twenty-five bucking pounds
>One thousand one hundred and twenty-five pounds was hanging by those two tiny safety clips
>That was over half of a ton
> Enough to crack the cobblestone street that you were standing on and so heavy that it was seriously bending the barbell
>...
>...
>...
>Oh, and did you mention that your max was only one eighty-five for squatting?
>A max that you had been bucking proud of when you had set it
>...
>...
>...
>Gotthisshit.png
"Don't you two worry about a thing," you say with a smile. "Everything will be great once I finish this."
>You didn't know WHY you knew that everything would be alright but you just... knew
>There must have been far too much confidence in your voice since both of your aunts took a step away as if you were a crazy pony
>"Thou cannot use magic for this task, correct?"
"Nope. If I use any bit of magic I'll automatically be disqualified."
>Helga had at least allowed you to use a belt and knee wraps for this lift
>Though you suspected that they'd do buck all with this much weight
>"And thou knows that this weight is far too much for thee right?"
>You turn to look at Luna, a smile coming to your face
"It was WAY too much for me yesterday," you say, patting her cheek before walking past the two of them. "But today? Today I'm feeling lucky."
>Alright
>You're all warmed up
>You can't buck around anymore
>Time to rip this shit up and go home and buck Anon and Shining's brains out....
>...As will be your right as this herd's new alpha mare...
>Sweet Faust you hope that weird human was right and you were going to get this shit up and not die
>You didn't want to die!
>You'd be dead if you did that!
>Both of your aunts watch as you walk toward the power rack, where a frowning Anon was waiting
>"I don't remember the fucking part of the plan where you throw me under the bus," he grumbles as you step in the cage
>He wants to bring up that NOW?
>Bucking colts
>He's lucky that you loved him to bits
"I needed her to agree to this," you say apologetically as he kneels down and looks you over
>"Are you warmed up enough? Nothing feels too tight or weird or anything right?"
>You shake your head as your coltfriend hands you your belt and knee wraps
"Nope, everything's fine. I'm as ready as I'll ever be," you tell him, grunting as you stand up and tighten the belt around you
>Anon looks up at you with a bemused expression
>"Are you fucking sure about this, Candy?" he asked, gesturing at the weight looming over the two of you."Last time I checked that there's over fifty pounds higher than the world record for the squat in powerlifting, and you and I both know you're going to be going a hell of a lot deeper than those quarter-rep fucks."
>You can't help but grin
"Well then, I hope that someone has a metal for me after I do this then."
>You can see an emotional battle wage across your human's face, and you know what he wants to say to you
>Your human here has been picking things up and putting things down for nearly fifteen years
>His body had been broken down and beaten and had been forced to adapt and change for this lifestyle of his
>Because of this, and his training and clean eating and good sleep schedule and pretty great genetics, Anon could call himself an elite lifter
>The strongest of the strong
>The best of the best
>Someone that had, and would, give everything to the gym and the iron within it
>He could, and did, put up weight that very few critters could on the WHOLE PLANET
>He knew every bit of his body as well as he knew his lifts and his dieting
>And both of you knew that there was no way in Tartarus that he'd even consider putting up this much weight
>Sure, he could squat eight-fiftyish, and that was pretty bucking amazing when you had seen it, but that was because of his experience
>And you, being a mare that barely had five months of lifting under your belt, did not have his experience
>Nor his technique
>Nor his mass
>Or even his knowledge on how to even THINK of tackling something like this
>But he wasn't going to say that
>He was going to cheer you on as you got under that bar and put that weight on your back and squatted down ass to the grass
>Because he loved you
>Which was why, after this was over, you were going to blow him until he couldn't remember his name
>You were a VERY generous alpha mare
>Soon to be alpha
>Probable alpha
>...
>...
>...
>What the buck ever
>You were still going to blow him though!
>"Now Cadence, you remember when I told you that the squat was an exercise where you used your whole body?" Anon asked, helping you with your knee wraps
>You had never used them before, so you had to trust that he knew how to put them on >Because you sure as sugar didn't
>"You might not feel it when you're doing normal weight but when you get up to weight like this--"
>He nods toward the bending barbell
>"--I promise you you'll feel everything straining."
>He cups your face and forces you to look him in the eye
>"Remember, you're going to have to do every single part of this lift perfectly or you're probably going to die."
>Gee
>Thanks hon
>All of this confidence was doing wonders for you!
>"The unloading needs to be perfect, stepping back and getting into position needs to perfect, you need to make sure you get down into the hole slowly and stably with a strong core and without trying to good morning the fucking thing, and you need to get it up. For my fucking sake you NEED. To. Get. It. Up!"
>You grunt as he finishes wrapping you up before standing back up to his full height
>He looks over you one last time before saying six magic words that put you a bit more at ease
>"Come on, you got this shit!"
>He smacks you on the chest and steps away from you
>"And don't worry if you can't; I'll pull this shit off of you if it's too much."
>You can't help but smile as you look up at that bucking mountain of weight before you
>You knew that there was no way in heck that he was getting this weight off of you if you couldn't get this weight up
>It was just too much, and Helga wouldn't let you have more than one spotter
>But it was still a nice sentiment
>And besides you wouldn't NEED a spotter
>Your body was iron and there was whole milk in your belly!
>The gods of fitness were looking down and ready to make you into a grade-A sick cunt
>All you needed to do was get under the bar
>All you needed to do was BELIEVE and it'd HAPPEN!
>Your heartbeat starts to quicken as you stand up on your back legs and situate yourself under the bar
>You breath deeply as you feel the hard iron touch your shoulders, letting those rough ridges in the bar comfort and sooth you
>"ArE yOu GoInG tO sTaRt LiFtInG oR wHaT?" Helga demands, watching you along with the other gym rats
>...Bucking bitch
>Trying to interrupt you while you're getting in the bucking zone...
>There's an angry murmur from the gym rats
>"Don't see you trying to put up that weight, Helga," one of them shouts
>"Yeah! You got all of that muscle but I bet you still put up bucking baby weight!"
>The crowd breaks into jeers, not stopping even as the cow turns and snarls at them
>"DYEL faggot!"
>"I bet she uses a belt to curl!"
>"Nice ab implants, dike!"
>You see Yzyy hop out of the crowd and smile at you
>"Don't ya worry, mate! Ya fuckin' got this!"
>You can't help but grin to yourself as the crowd breaks out into cheers
>"You got this princess!"
>"It's light weight! Fucking light weight!"
>"Ain't nothing but a peanut!"
>A low growl escapes your throat as you tense around the bar
>Though you didn't move it AT ALL your smile doesn't leave you
>"You'll do this for fucking reps, Princess!"
>"Show us how it's done!"
>"Ass to the grass, Ass to the grass!"
>Your smile widens as you hear the crowd shout and cheer
>The nervousness, the fear, the intimidation of looking at this weight that you were about to push was gone
>Gone and replaced with excitement
>You WANTED to lift this weight
>You wanted to take this giant hunk of iron and test yourself with it
>You wanted it to do its best to break you, you wanted it to make your muscles ache and your lungs burn
>You wanted it to rock your body and damn near break your soul
>Because you were stronger than this hunk of iron
>Your will was stronger and you will break IT
>Not because other people say so or because you have the right equipment on or some shit like that
>YOU were going to do it because YOU said so
>You were the master of this weight and this iron
>You just had to show it first
>A fire starts to burn in your belly as you tense and relax against the bar, trying to find the best position on the bar
>So what if this was a heck of a lot of weight?
>So what if your aunts thought it was impossible?
>You strain against the bar and you swear that it moves JUST a bit
>Come on Cadence
>You got this
>You got this
>You GOT this
>You GOT THIS
>YOU GOT THIS
>YOU GOT THIS!
>YOUGOTTHIS!
>YOUGOTTHIS!!!!
>A bolt of electricity shoots through you as Anon slaps your sides hard
>"UP!" he roars. "GET IT FUCKING UP!"
"ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
>For a second your vision goes black
>"NOW TAKE THAT FUCKING BACK STEP!"
>The next second your vision comes back with a vengeance
>You can see the look of shock and disbelief on Helga's face
>You can see the excitement on each and every gym rat in the crowd
>It's really--
>Anon slaps your sides again, snapping you out of your thoughts
>"DON'T START FUCKING SPAZZING OUT CADENCE!"
>He slaps your sides again
>"FOCUS DAMNIT!"
>Blinking you notice that you were away from the safety pins with the barbell on your back
>Huh
>It looks like you DID pick that weight up after all!
>...
>...
>...
>Nea--
>Picking up this much weight must have been one heck of a shock to your system
>It took your body a few second to realize that it was holding up over half of a ton unassisted
>But when you DID feel that weight...
>SweetFaustabovewhytheheckandIdoingthis!
>Your vision starts to turn red as a low groan escapes your throat
>You could feel every muscle on your body tensing, your ligaments and tendons straining with all of their might against this weight
>Your back and hips and knees screamed in protest, shaking and bending under the heavy load
>Over these past few months Anon had been stressing that you listen to what your body said to you during a lift
>If it doesn't feel like you can put up so much weight then don't
>You can get it next time
>Doing such was safer and it'd keep you from hurting yourself, and it was something that every lifter should learn to do
>And right now your body felt... wrong
>It almost like you were trying to swim through syrup
>You could hear the blood pumping through your ears and felt your veins bulging against your skin
>You couldn't think, you could barely breath; heck, you could barely just STAND there
>It was a system overload to the highest degree, and you honestly have no idea what to do in this situati--
>"KEEP YOUR SHIT TIGHT, CADENCE!" Anon shouts just as you're about let out another groan. "BRING THAT BACK BACK UP! YOU'RE NOT DOING A FUCKING GOOD MORNING!!"
>The shout triggers a Pavlovian response in you
>Without even thinking you look straight up into the air and tense your abdominal muscles as hard as you can, keeping your back tight and your elbows in front of the bar
>You were no longer thinking about the impossible weight on your back or how much your body was screaming at you or anything like that
>...Somehow
>Right now you were just letting muscle memory take over
>You couldn't let yourself think
>Thinking would RUIN you right now
>This wasn't that much different than lifting a hundred pounds in principle
>You just needed to keep good form and sit down and stand back up
>If you did it fast enough then your body won't even notice the weight
...Right?
>Right
>No?
>Wellbacktonotthinkingthen.ong
>You inhale deeply and hold that breath
>Alright
>It's showtime!
>"NOW SQUAT!"
 
BE Anon
>Holy shit did you not expect her to even get that shit off of the safety pins
>YOU probably wouldn't be able to get that fucking weight off the safety pins
>But there the little pone princess was with that bar on her back looking like she was about to explode and die and explode again
>So like any good lifting coach you screamed and smacked her
>That always helped a weightlifter put up more weight
>And, incredibly, you could see your yelling and screaming was actually doing something!
>Her form was no longer fucked and she looked as ready as she'd ever be with this weight
>There was no going back now with this shit
>YOU weren't going to be able to get the weight off of her if she fucked up and you were sure that she wasn't going to be able to get away from the weight safely
>But that was okay
>She was going to kill this fucking lift
>She was going to kill it and you'd have to rush her to the hospital afterwards for the stupid shit, but she was going to squat this and come back up with it
>She managed to get it off the rack
>She had already performed one miracle today
>A couple more wasn't out of the question
"NOW SQUAT!" you bark, placing your arms under her armpits and placing your chest close to her back
>You might not be able to lift this weight off her back you always found that knowing your spotter was right there helped you rep just a little more weight
>This was NOT just a little more weight but she was a god horse so hopefully that'd make up the difference
>You slowly squat down with Cadence as she lowers the monstrous weight on her shoulders
>Past quarter ROM
>Past half ROM
>Her knees are shaky and her wings are smacking weakly against your chest but she's doing it
>SHE'S DOING IT!!!
>The weight is coming down in a slow and controlled fashion, the pone princess's form is still solid, and you haven't heard anything snapping or breaking (thank fucking god)
>You don't know how Cadence is fucking doing this but you hope she keeps it up
>She still had one of the hardest parts of the lift yet
>She goes lower and lower, her whole body red and her muscles straining against a sweat-sodden coat, until the back of her quads are touching her calfs
>Ass to grass motherfuck--
>"What the buck is that?!"
>Sweet Celestia what's happening to the bucking shit?!"
>...
>...
>...
>What's all this then?
>Why the hell is every--
>"Hip... Dravhe..."
>Suddenly the wind starts to pick up, the strength of which nearly knocks you off of your feet
>You hear Cadence start to breath heavily, holding her position far too long for your liking
>Getting out of the hold was the hardest part of the squat, and while you appreciate pause squats every once in a while Cadence NEEDS to rip this shit up as fast as she could
>Holding the squat she was right now was the worst thing in the world for her
>That and talking like she just had...
>What the fuck did she even say anyway?...
>You were about to start shouting at the pink mare again when something stops you
>"Hip... Dravhe..."
>Hip drive?
>What the hell was she....
>...
>...
>...
>Though it went against everything you were taught as a spotter, you tear your attention away from Cadence and look up
>...
>...
>...
>...Alright
>NOW you can see why the hell everyone's fucking shouting
>The black mass of clouds that had been hanging over the city were swirling around right above you, revealing a golden and beautiful sky
>The winds picked up to almost hurricane levels
>Everyone is struggling to hold onto something, and those that can't find anything are being pulled off of their hooves and thrown around like rag dolls
>Bits of building and wood and rock are wiping around at terrifying speeds
>"WhAt ThE fUcK iS gOiNg On? Helga, the only one who seemed to be able to keep her feet, screamed. "ArE yOu FuCkInG pRiNcEsSeS dOiNg ThIs?!"
>Turning you see both Celestia and Luna holding onto a fucked up bit of street lamp like their lives depended on it
>"Tis not us!" Luna shouts right back, her mane whipping around her face.
>"This is not our doing, Monster!" Celestia adds before her eyes capture yous. "Anon. ANON! You need to get out of there!"
>You try to keep your feet planted (you hadn't failed as a spotter and you were going to be damned if you were going to start now) but you can't seem to find enough purchase to stay on your feet
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?!!?
>WAS MOTHER NATURE TRYING TO FUCK YOU OVER?
>FUCK. THIS!!!
>While you're struggling to keep yourself from just up and flying away Cadence is there still holding her lowered position
>She didn't seem all that affected by the chaos happening all around her
>The winds weren't even touching her
>The rocks and glass and shit flying all around you just whizzed by her head
>She was just holding her squat, looking up at the sky with an unusual amount of intensity
>She was a mountain in the path of a tornado
>She was immovable
>Untouchable
>Solid
>"Hip...Dravhe..."
>You let you a surprised cry as the winds finally tear you away from Cadence and throw you into one of the power rack's metal bars, knocking the wind out of you and damn near breaking a rib
>Swearing, you grab the power cage and hold into it with all of your might
"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON?!" you demand, looking around at the crowd to see if they were doing anything
>Helga was looking at the sky with her mouth wide open, Celestia and Luna looked like they were about to shit themselves, and Yzyy was...
>Saluting?
>With tears in her eyes?!
>"Looks like we got some VIPs watchin' this, girls!" she shouts, pointing to the sky. "I hope ya got yer best lifting clothes on!"
>VIPs?
>In the sky?
"HIP DRAVHE!"
>A shout comes down from the heavens, so loud and mighty that it shakes the earth
>You see Cadence smile hugely and looking back up you see why
>You wouldn't have believed it if you weren't looking up right at in
>And, to be, honest you STILL really didn't believe what the fuck you were seeing
>Why you had not seen them when you had first looked up at the sky you'll probably never know
>Maybe they hadn't thought you weren't worthy of first sight
>Maybe they had just turned up
>Maybe your eyes just hadn't been able to handle the majesty and needed time to adjust
>But there they were
>The greats
>The legends
>The Gods of fitness
>There was Mark Rippetoe: The Steadfast T-rex, sitting on a golden cow that had milk and oats pouring out of its mouth with a barbell in his hand
>There was Scooby: the Knowing Lord, wearing his fedora and sitting atop a winged skateboard
>There was Dom Mazzetti: the Court Jester, with his smirk and his beard and his headband
>Behind of all them, in the back and standing behind a golden pillar was Jeff holding a plate of cookies
>Jeff pls go
>And atop of all of these giants, these gods, was the king himself, sitting on a throne carved out of the finest marble and with two barely clothed 10/10 qt3.14's sitting at his feet was the sickest cunt and king of all kings
>Zyzz: Father of aesthetics, Brother of Hercules, and Son of Zeus
>He looked down at all of you, a kingly frown on his face, before pointing at Helga
>Helga, the stupid cow she was, just puffed her chest out
>"AnD wHo ThE fUcK aRe YoU?"
>She took a step away from the crowd just as Scooby lifted up a hand and pointed a finger at her
>"WhO tHe FuCk ArE aLl Of YoU? dO YoU wAnT tO fIgHt Me ToO?!"
>One god after the other silently lifts their hand and points at the cow, who was getting angrier and angrier by the second
>You tried to open your mouth to tell her to shut her fucking trap and show a bit of respect but you were forced to grit your teeth and hang on for dear life as a bit of rock flies by your head
>This shit was going to be brutal
>You just KNEW it
>The cow starts strutting around the street, her arms spread wide and a vein bulging out of her forehead
>"ARE YOU HERE TO TRY TO TAKE ANON AWAY FROM ME TOO? WELL COME ON! I'LL FIGHT A BUNCH OF UGLY DYEL FAGGOTS ANYDAY!"
>She continues to scream and shout and yell with all of her might but the gods of fitness may as well be made of stone
>They did not move
>They did not blink
>They did not breath
>They simply stared at Helga like a teacher would look at a student that had just been caught cheating on a test
>...Well, all of the except Rippetoe
>The lord of squats was watching Candy Cane with a smile
"HIP DRAVHE!"
>A voice boomed out from out of nowhere once again
>"Hip Dravhe," Cadence mumbled back
>You can see the weight on her back start to quiver as if it was a living thing
HIP DRAVHE!
>The ends of the gods fingers started to glow white
HIP DRAVHE!
>Helga spread her arms as wide as she could and let out a bone chilling roar
>The poor thing didn't know she was in the presence of true, all-powerful gods
>Gods that didn't look to happy with her
"HIP DRAVHE!"
>Cadence started breathing in short, heavy burst, keeping her eyes to the sky as she wiggled her butt
>The half of a ton on her back, which had looked like it was going to kill her a few moments ago, moved with her as if it was just the bar
>"HIP DRAVHE!"
>The air electrified as the clouds grew darker and the winds screamed throughout the city
>Helga looked like she was about to try to hop into the air to attack the lords of /fit/
>The gym rats were screaming and shouting and fear and wonder and awe
>And there you were, holding onto a piece of metal, with tears in your eyes
>Sweet baby Jesus did Cadence have some fucking superb form....
>"HIIIIIIIP DRAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVHE!!!!!"
>It was in that moment several things happened at once
>Helga let loose another mighty roar
>A golden light appeared around the gods
>And Cadence slowly started to rise
>"ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
"COME ON! FUCKING FIGHT ME YOU SISS--"
BOOM!
>The last thing you remember was seeing Cadence lock that shit out and drop it before you were thrown back and darkness filled your vision
>...
>...
>...
>...
>...
>Anon.exe has crashed
>Please restart
>...
>...
>...
>1%
>...
>...
>...
>9%
>...
>...
>...
>15%
>...
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>...
>30%
>...
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>...
>65%
>...
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>95%
>...
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>98%
>...
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>99%
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>100%
>"Are you going to get up soon, bruh? I'm getting a little tired sitting around waiting for you cunt. Come on, come on! Up! UP!"
>There were many ways one could be woken up after getting knocked the fuck out
>You could wake up on your own
>Someone could gently wake your ass up
>You could even get injected with something that'd bring you right out of la-la land
>You weren't awakened by gentle means
>No, you were brought back to consciousness by some motherfucker slapping your face pretty damned hard
>You WOULD have been mad as shit if you weren't desensitized by getting fucked up so much today
>But you were so you were merely irritated
>Grumbling, you slap the mystery person's hand away
"Alright, motherfucker, I get it! If you fucking hit me one more time I'm gonna tear your fucking--"
>You open your eyes to glare at your mystery slapper when a calloused hand grabs you and pulls you to your feet
>...
>...
>...
>Huh
>It looks like the sky's all cleared up...
>And Helga isn't around anywhere, so that's nice...
>And it looks like Zyzz came down from Mt. Olympus to--
>...
>...
>...
>You freeze as the King of Fitness stares back at you with a smile, his arms crossed and his wings tucked neatly against his sides
>"I didn't think ya were going to wake up, cunt!" he said, slapping your side. "Good ta see you can take a fuckin' licking!"
>...
>...
>...
>Huh
>Zyzz's standing right there...
>Neat!
>You can't help but smile
>He sounded just like you remembered him
>There, standing in front of you, was not a god with unfathomable power
>It was just a guy with an infectious smile and a friendly attitude that put a smile on ones face
>He was still that same troll that you had come to admire
>It was nice to see him, talking and talking like this
>Awesome even
>Like seeing a long lost friend
>...
>...
>...
>You know, you should REALLY say something and not just stand there like a fucking moron
>There was royalty in front of you
>With wings and wearing a speedo!
>Someone that had come from the heavens themselves to help you out!
>You could at the very least fucking thank him!
>"...Do you know that there's a female version of you here?"
>Zyzz's grin widens
>"Oh really? Well that's news to me!"
>That fucking smug bastard
>You could hear that playful tone in his voice
>He knew
>How couldn't he fucking know?
>Eh, whatever
>You were standing in the middle of a ruined city with a winged man that was supposed to be six feet in the ground
>Who were you to question anyone or accuse anybody of anything?
"Well, I sure fucking hope that I don't have to take a licking like that ever again," you say, lifting your arms and wiggling around to see if you were alright
>Zyzz let out a hearty chuckle
>"Oh, I wouldn't worry about," he says with a dismissive wave. "We took care of that ol' Helga sheila. She won't bother ya again."
>You nod, looking the winged man up and down
"Good," you say emotionlessly
>Were you angry that Helga had tried to rape you?
>Yes
>Was she a bitch that destroyed a city for NO fucking REASON?
>Yep
>Did you have any sympathy for whatever fate Zyzz had for her?
>Not a fucking chance in--
>A slap to the shoulder brings you out of your thoughts
>"Fuckin' hell are you looking joocy, mate. No homo." Zyzz tells you looking you up and down, that smile still on his face
>Though you could see... something in his eyes
>It was almost like he was looking INTO you...
>"Listen... Mate, do me a favor will ya?... Well, a couple of favors really."
>You cock your head
>A god is asking you for a favor?
>...
>...
>...
>Alright
>You'll bite
"I can't say yes or no unless you tell me these "favors""
>You watch as the smile leaves his face, a solemn look replacing it
>"I know ya might not be happy about what happened here taday but try not to hate the cow that did all of this."
>He raises his hands when he sees your look of outrage
>"I know, I know! She's a right cunt for what she did but it wasn't her fault... REALLY..."
>A smile, sad little smile comes to his face
>"She just wanted someone to love her and she decided she needed a little extra... something to try to get that love."
>One of his hands finds its way to your shoulder, giving it a squeeze
>"An' I know a little something about that."
"Hey, what happened to you was fucking different!" you say, quick to defend
>He gives your shoulder another squeeze, a smile coming back to his face
>"I want you to try an' be the bigger man about all of this, mate. Could ya at least try?"
>You scowl, your face scrunched in irritation
>No
>Nope
>Nada
>FUCK THAT
>AND FUCK. HELGA
>You liked to think you were a pretty forgiving guy but forgiveness only goes so far
>Zyzz might be a fucking winged man with superpowers, and you were sure he had his reasons for wanting you to do this, but no
>No
>No
>No!
>Seeing the look on your face must have said it all since Zyzz nods understandingly, taking a step away from you and once again smiling hugely
>"Alright then, mate. If ya want to be pissy then that's your choice."
>He clapped his hands together and looked at you expectantly
>"Now to ya want to hear what else I want ya to do?"
>You want to stay upset but that smile of his just won't let you
"Sur--"
>You stiffen as the god lurches forward and wraps you in a hug
>"Remember to be the sickest cunt you can be, alright?"
>Almost without meaning to you hug him right back
>Thefeelstheybeacoming.jpg
"You know a whole bunch of us made the trip for your funeral," you say quietly.
"A lot of people were fucked up when you died"
>"It was my time to leave bruh," he answered, reaching up with one of his wings.
>A feather strokes your cheek, pulling away with a tear
>...Huh
>When in the hell did you start crying?
>He took a step away from you and you find yourself stepping toward him
>You still had so much you wanted to talk about
>You wanted to thank him
>You wanted to ask him how that great big gym in the sky was
>You wanted him to meet your marefriends
>You wanted to go to the gym with him and crush a workout together
>Why hadn't he said anything to the guys over at /fit/?
>Didn't he know who many people wished they could see him?
>Didn't he know how many people looked up to him?
>His legacy alone had made a thousand fat neck beards into sick cunts!
>And you had barely said a fucking thing to him!
>He couldn't leave now!
>...You didn't want him to
"Wait, Zyzz! you can't--"
>He takes another step back
>"I'm proud of what you've done here mate," he says, his tone happy. "And I'm mirin' those bunnies of yours... It looks like you're gonna made it."
>His wings unfurl and spread out wide
>"And bruh? I didn't die. And don't you be fucking sad! We'll see each other again!"
>You take a step back in shock as a golden light ascends from the heavens and encases him in its glow
>"Do not stand by my grave and weep,"
>"I am not there; I do not sleep."
>"I am a thousand pounds of whey,"
>"I am the oats that start your day,"
>"I am the squats down to the grass,"
>"I am the gains in your muscle mass,"
>"And when you strength begins to drift,"
>"I am the rush that helps you life."
>"Oh helpful bros that help inspire,
>"I am your charm when the bunnies 'mire."
>"Do not stand at my grave and cry,"
>"I am not there; I did not die..."
>In a flash of golden light he is gone leaving you standing there by yourself in the middle of this ruined street, tears streaming down your face
>Man...
>What
>The
>Fuck
>...
>...
>...
>You look up at the sky and smile as you reflect on what little Zyzz had said to you
>Then you think about these past few months
>All of the silly little adventures you had
>Crushing all of those workouts with your would-be marefriends
>Fucking two princesses at once for days on end...
>...
>...
>...
"...Yeah, I guess I did make it..."
BE HELGA
>You couldn't move
>You could barely see
>Your world was pain
>Whatever those humans did to you had fucked you up proper
>Gone were the muscles that had made you larger than life
>Gone was the mass that you had spent your whole life acquiring and molding
>Right now you were a skeleton
>Your skin hung loosely against your bones
>Though your mind is hazy with pain you can't help but look down at your arms
>The things looked like toothpicks
>A fucking child had bigger arms than these...
>All of those hours spent at the gym
>All of those days and months and years building the biggest and strongest body in the world, and then experiencing a body that dwarfed that one, for it to be gone in a blink of a fucking eye...
>You try to scream, you try to sob, you try to do anything really, but you're too just too weak
>Just too fucking weak
>All you can do was look up at the sky as tears streamed down your face
>You were a broken cow
>Far uglier than you had been in the first place
>A bull would never love you know...
>You were a FREAK, a thing that minotaurs mocked
>And...
>And you deserved it; everything that had happened to you
>You should have never taken that creatine
>You should have just accepted that Anon didn't want you
>Look at what you did
>Look at all of the homes you wrecked and businesses destroyed
>You had become a MONSTER
>You had wanted to be a MONSTER!
>All because you were obsessed with a colt that didn't like you because you were a bitch...
>You close your eyes, not able to look at the destruction that your stupidity had caused
>The only upside was that you'd probably die here anyways
>Or maybe the Equestrians would find you laying here and execute you
>That'd probably be for the be--
>"Oi! There ya fuckin' are!"
>You struggle to open your eyes to see how the heck's screaming at you
>Did one of the ponies find you already?
>"Good ta see we got ya all fixed up, Helga! Took a bit o' work but we got that creatine out of ya!"
>You sense the mystery speaker standing over you and squatting down and as you open your eyes you see one of the humans that had blasted you to kingdom come
>Huh
>He's a cute one...
>He smiles as if he read your thoughts
>"And now that we got ya back safe an' whole we can start to build back that muscle!"
>Still smiling, the human scoops you in his arms like a babe
>What was that about building muscle?
>Why was this guy smiling?
>Why did you want to smile because he was smiling?
>Didn't he fuck you up a little while ago?
>You deserved to be strung up not... this
>Why was he doing this?
>Why
>Why
>WHY?!
"W.......W.......W-why?" you manage to rasp as his wings spread out wide
>Gods was this human gorgeous...
>You could stare at him all day...
>The human looks down at you as a gold light encases the two of you
>"Because you did your best to try and make it your whole life," the human said, leaning down and kissing your brow
>"Ya wanted to be the biggest and baddest cunt in the whole world and ya got fucked up by what fucks up most on the way to Mt. Olympus."
"....Q....Qt3.14s?"
>He nods as the light all around you gets brighter
>Sweet Faust did you feel safe right now, almost like you were in your father's arms...
>And tired
>Man you were SLEEPY
>You could barely keep your eyes open a this rate...
>"I know its been kinda shitty, girlie, but don't you worry, we'll find your oneitis when we get home."
>....Home?...
>....What was he talking about?...
>You try to keep your eyes open but it's no use
>With each passing moment your eyelids sink downward
"H....H......H-home?
>The human nods again, one of his wings brushing a bit of your hair out of your face
>"A place where there's oly platforms as far as the eye can see. Where the plates go up to a hundred and there's bunnies all around mirin your gainz. A place full of happiness and goodness and oats and milk and the sickest of sick cunts. Sick cunts like you."
>He kisses your forehead as you let your head sink against the human's bicep, your last bit of strength leaving you
>Heh...
>That sounded nice...
>Hopefully you'd be there by the time you woke up...
>And hopefully Anon would be there someday...
>You still had to apologize for being a cunt...
>Hopefully he'd forgive you and maybe the two of you could be friends...
>He'd be a great lifting partner to have...
>Those mares better treat him fucking right...
>You can't help weakly smile as the human gives you one last kiss, darkness closing in all around you
"I....m.....m....made....i.....it...."
 
~~~~~~THE END~~~~~
 
>"And the next up to try to break the two hundred and thirty-eight kilogram snatch and clean is Anon Y. Mous from Equestria."
>Mrs. Harshwhinny looks up at you, practically frothing at the mouth
>"Anonymous?"
>You can't help but roll your eyes as you apply some chalk on your hands
>You know that fucking tone
>The "you're our only hope of winning this," tone
"Yes Mrs. Harshwhinny?" you ask as you do a couple little stretches with your arms to look like you were doing something
>The mare adjusts her coat and ran a hoof through her mane as she cleared her throat
>"Equestria and The Diamond Dog Federation are neck and neck for the number of gold medals."
>Yeah, you know
>You can see the board as easily as this little horselet can
"Six to six, yeah I know for the Weightlifting competition."
>Not wanting to keep the judges or the crowd waiting any longer you make your way toward lifting platform
>Without missing a beat Harshwhinny trots after you
>You try not to encourage the over excitable mare and just look ahead
>You don't understand why she's getting so butt bothered about this
>Sure, you were in the Equestria Games but it was just for the olympic lifts
>Otherwise known as the part of the games that people only watched when there were breaks in the flying and running and gymnastic competitions
>From what your fellow teammates had told you Equestria was beating the SHIT out of everyone in everything OTHER than the weightlifting, so it wasn't going to be like YOU were going to win this for the motherland or anything
>Most of you were just doing this to bust the other countries balls that you happened to lift more than them
> You know, the same reason why everyone else joins the Equestria lifting team
>But no, SHE was going to make a big fucking deal about this
>Just like she had tried to do when you were training
>Just like she had when you were all on the train ride here
>And just like when she had SOMEHOW managed to sneak into your fucking room (with a bottle of fucking liquor mind you) and started a rant by the likes of which you hadn't seen in a long, long time
>You got it, Harshwhinny wanted to win
>She wanted Equestria to beat the hell out of everyone else
>That was great; it was her job to hoofpick the athletes for the games and she SHOULD want to win
>But the filly needed to calm the fuck down
>She was at an eleven right now and you would have preferred if she dialed it back to a six or seven
>Like ASAP
>"Now I need to you to win this one for the team, Anonymous! If you manage to pull this then Equestria can go home with its head held high in victory!"
>She looked at you with a bright and cheery smile
>"And you'll be remembered as the one that helped us get to the tip top!"
>Ugh
>TheAutismisreal.jpg
>She was just trying to butter you up because she knew you HATED this lift
>You had wanted to go for the power clean record but NOOOOOOO!
>You had to go and do the fucking clean and snatch
>You were going to have to put close to six hundred pounds over your head, squat down low, and bring that shit back up without dislocating anything
>Such you probably will when you do this
>Because you've dislocated your shoulder before doing this lift
>Twice
>...
>...
>...
>FUCK this lift...
"Don't you worry your furry little bottom, Ma'am, I'll get it."
>Before she could open her mouth to say more you walk out onto the stage to where a barbell stacked with weights was waiting for you
>HoneyI'mhome.jag
>The crowd cheers as you step onto the Oly platform
>Huh
>The crowd's bigger than you thought it would be
>Though you're not THAT surprised
>It's not every day a prince is competing in the games after all
>"THOU CAN DO IT, DEAR ANONYMOUS! SHOW THOSE CRETIN MUTTS THY MIGHT!"
>You can't help but smile when you see Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining in the stands...
>...Right next to the Diamond leaders...
>Huh, those mutts don't look happy...
>Kek
>A smile comes to your face as you calmly walk toward the barbell and size up the weight
>Alright Anon
>This is a fuckton of weight but it's nothing you can't pick up like a baws
>You just need to be explosive and make sure you're feet are--
>"THE WEIGHT BEFORE YOU IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THY STRENGTH, ANON!" Luna bellows from the stands. "COME! WIN THIS SO THAT WE MAY SHOWER THEE WITH AFFECTIONS AFTERWARD!"
>You have to bite you lip to keep from laughing as the judges and more than a few people in the crowd turn to look at the Princess of the Night
>While it was a general rule to toss anyone out if they started hooting and hollering in the middle of a competition you guess that they didn't really want to try to tell an alicorn to leave or ask her to shut her trap
>But this wasn't some NASCAR race where you could shout and bellow to your hearts content
>This was the Equestria Games
>It had a rich and ancient history that dated back thousands of years
>One was expected to act a certain way here, be they commoner or god horse
>Not that Luna looked like she had any fucks to give while she munched on a big jug of triple chocolate icecream
>Kek2.O
>Your first year in the games and you were already indirectly fucking things up
>As you should be honestly
>Whycan'tIholdallofthesekeks.org
>Celestia, ever the calm and collected one, loudly clears her throat and smiles before wrapping a wing around her little sister
>"I apologize for my sister's little outburst."
>She looks down at her and her sister's swollen belly's
>"She's just a little emotional right now because of the foal..."
>You hear Luna huff
>"...We are the night..." she muttered, her face scrunching up as she scooped up a big spoonful of ice cream and stuffed it into her mouth
>D'awwwww
>What a qt3.14...
>Celestia waved a hoof around while looking at you with a grin
>"Please don't mind us."
>The judges murmur to themselves before awkwardly smiling and turning back to you
>Goddamn based sun horse with your 100 speech...
>You probably weren't even going to get any points docked...
>Being in THE royal herd had some awesome perks
>"Anonymous," one of them said. "If you could please start the lift..."
>The crowd chuckles as you smartly salute, strutting to the bar with a sway in your hips
>Okay
>Now you HAD to lift this
>Girls were watching
>Your girls
>And Shining
>Keep everything tight and don't dislocate anything
>Don't. Dislocate. Anything
>That. Shit. Fucking. Hurts
>The crowd is dead silent as you get into a modified deadlifting stance and grab the bar
>Alright
>Take a deeeep breath
>And....
"HAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPHHHHH!"
>The bar explodes off of the ground and with practiced ease the moment the bar gets to hip height you thrust your hips hard
>Keeping a grip tightly on the bar as it flies into the air you quickly squat down and tense your core
>You grunt as the bar settles above your head and your archenemy, gravity, rears its ugly head
>Getitupgetitupgetitupgetitupgetitupgetitupgetitupgeritup!
"HOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHH!"
>Exhaling you explode up, making sure not to snap your shit
>Come on Anon
>Don't fucking fall over...
>You got this
>YOU GOT THIS!
>FUCKING LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!
>The crowd lets out a cheer as you stand fully up with a grin
>Whoo!
>Fuck yeah!
>Tossing the weight in front of you you hop into the air and throw a fist up
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Mrs. Harshwhinny hopping around and whooping with joy
>Thisisnotprofessionalism.png
>"WHOO! YEAH ANON!"
>A pink blur darts out of the crowd and flies toward you
>You open your arms wide as a grinning Cadence tackles you and hugs you as hard as she can
>"I told you you'd get it!"
>Laughing, you hug her right back
"Yeah, you did tell me," You say, spinning the mare around once or twice before setting the giggling pone onto the ground
>Unlike her fellow princesses, Candy Cane here hadn't taken the plunge into motherhood just yet so she was as small and as fit as ever
>Her and Shining said they had a couple of years to think about kids and there was no way in hell you were going to be the one to put a bun in love horse's oven
>You were going to have abomination babies with two of the most beautiful mares in the world
>And you wanted those babies and Shining's to be little brothers/and or sisters together
>You loved Shine pone (no homo) he deserved to continue his legacy by filling the world with adorable horse children as much as you
>And if wasn't as if you couldn't have kids with her EVENTUALLY
>You had all of the time in the world to have as many kids as you, and your wives and co-husband, wanted
>Kids who were hopefully going to be full alicorn
>Or at the very least centaurs
>Because you didn't know what you were going to do if they came out with a horse upper body and a human lower body...
>You might have been a horsefucker now but you STILL knew when to put your fucking foot down
>And shit like THAT was when you put a foot right down
>Still giggling, Cadence levitates your wedding ring out of... somewhere and gives it to you
>"I never understood why you just don't keep that on while competing," Cadence says as you wipe the residue chalk dust off of your hands and onto your official Equestria one-sie
>It looked like Condense here had a bit of chalk on her as well
>...Actually, make that a LOT of chalk
>Not that either of you give a fuck tho
>Still grinning you ruffle her mane and begin to walk toward the Cadence and Luna, who Shining was helping to their hooves and down the steps so they could get to you
"I don't want the thing to catch on the bar and break my fucking finger, hon."
>"It wouldn't CATCH on anything you goof," the pink pone princess tells you, using her magic to catch your arm and pull it back so your hand was on the top of her head
>Without breaking stride you give her a little scratch as she follows you
>"You just wanted to hit on all of your teammates don't you?"
>You roll your eyes as you slip the wedding band around your ring finger
"And have more mares hounding my ass all day? Hah, good one."
>Cadence playfully slugs your leg as your other three favorite ponies walk over to you
>Well... Shining walked
>Wuna and sun hores were a'waddlin'
>"Thy actions bring great honor to thy country, my prince," Luna said as you kneeled down
>Moving as fast as that big ass belly of hers let her she walked over and wrapped you in a hug, her wings wrapping around your back and hold you passively as she gave you a messy, ice cream-y kiss
>Ever since getting knocked up by your handsome ass poor Moona's hormones had been REALLY fucking with her; almost more so than Celestia
>Both of the princesses, along with the sudden and sometimes VERY aggressive mood swings and odd eating habits, had become very, VERY protective of you
>So protective that they'd get upset whenever you were out of their sight
>And by upset you meant that they'd start freaking the fuck out and blow shit up and threaten people's lives until you came arunnin'
>And you didn't even want to get started on whenever another mare (other than Cadence of course) was talking to or around you...
>It had gotten so bad that you had had to buy a shitload of gym equipment for the castle and became home gym master race, and it had been a NIGHTMARE getting up here and getting them situated
>Sure, the home gym was nice, but you missed the atmosphere of the gym
>Shit was lonely lifting with just you and Cadence and sometimes Shining
>But, over these past few... interesting months, months where you have had over ten panic attacks and had considered diving off of one of the castle's many balconies, you, and the whole of the just rebuilt Canterlot, had gotten used to the pregnant princesses
>Craziness and all
>Hell, some of them thought their princesses actions were cute
>You being one of them
>...After the seventh or eighth month of dealing with them
"It was an alright lift," you say modestly before eyeing Cadence. "It wasn't shit compared to anything the world's strongest mare over there could do but it wasn't bad."
>Cadence just grins
>"Don't feel bad 'Nonny," she said, patting your back. "Mares are just naturally stronger than stallions. And I'm sure if you keep working as hard as you do you might be big and strong as me someday."
>You snort
>Love hores talkin' shit yet again...
>Just because you're jelly as fuck that she lifted over half a ton ATG and got a medal for it didn't mean that she had to rub your face in it
>ALL the fucking time
>but this was Cadence you were talking about
>She was going to keep going to do it and you were going to keep finding ways to get her back for it
>This little horse is lucky that you love her to pieces, otherwise you would have tossed her ass out a window a LONG time ago for being such a pain in the ass...
>"There's my conquering hero~"
>You almost fall over as Celestia walks over with a sway in her hips and rubs herself against you like a cat
>...God dammit
>Her tail's fucking raised
>In public!
>And ponies were staring!
>...
>...
>...
>L-lewd
>Also kek
>Somemenjustwanttowatchtheworlburn.hahaha!
>"Celestia!" Shining shouts with a blush, pushing down the base of her tail with a hoof. "Not. Where. Ponies. Can. See. You."
>She throws him a saucy wink (with her eyes eyes thankfully) before gently moving her sister away and wrapping you into a hug of her own
>"Are you about finished here, Anon?" she asked breathlessly, giving your neck a nip. "I need to... discuss something with you back in our chambers~"
>Oh here we go again...
>Kissing her cheek you push her away and cup her face, looking at her like only a veteran and battle-hardened husband could
"Cel, you know we can't have any DISCUSSIONS. It might hurt the baby."
>A whine escapes her sun princesses throat
>"Annnnooonnnn!" she whines, leaning back against you, her nostrils flaring as she took in your scent. "I NEEEED something in me!"
>Huh, will you look at that
>The crowd seems to be leaving
>Each and everyone of them blushing and/or looking horrified
>Goddamn hormones
>Super horney Sun horse had been fun for the first few months
>Really fun
>But as her belly got bigger and bigger, and she got hornier and hornier as a result, the less you could do with her
>It was damn near like she was in heat 24/7 and neither of you could do more than some light touching and licking so the baby didn't get hurt
>And that shit sucks
>But you were going to have to deal with it for a little longer until the kid came
"There's something in you right now, sunny cheeks," you say, kissing her nose. "and we want that something to be happy and healthy when it comes out."
>She huffs with a pout as she nods
>"Fine. But I'm rutting your brains out after our little girl comes. And I'm still going to have my "fun" with you when we get back to the hotel. I want to reward Equestria's newest gold medalists~"
>Smiling you give her another quick kiss before standing up
"That's fine. And like I keep telling you it's gonna be a boy not a girl so quit saying that shit."
>"It's going to be a girl or I'll eat my crown sweetie~!"
>Not that that mattered to YOU but Celly wanted a big and strong girl that she could teach her how to play hoofball and pick up colts and all of that MOTHERLY shit
>Shining nudges you
>"Come on, Anon. We'll walk you to the podium!"
>"Yes!" Luna said, puffing her chest out. "We will lay thee atop the podium where thee will tower above the lesser races! Come Anon come!"
>Luna waddles away as fast as her hooves can take her, a concerned Shining racing after her and shouting for her to slow down while a laughing Celestia follows behind
>You just watch them go with a grin
>You know, seeing them laughing and joking like this meant a hell of a lot more to you than the silly gold medal you were about to get...
>Heh
>Look at you
>A few years ago you would still be in your little gym in Canterlot waiting for the next competition
>Now you're married with kids on the way AND you're an Olympian
>Sure, it wasn't the Olympics, but it was close enough dammit!
>You had a gold medal under your belt and you had kids on the way...
~~You made it bruh~~
>You could barely hear it, it was almost a whisper, but you hear a gentle voice carry through the air
>A voice that was strong and good and mighty even while whispering
~~Hey, good for you, Anon. I'm glad to see that those DYEL's are treating you right~~
>Another voice reaches your ears, this one as familiar as the other but far more humble, and... cleaner than you remembered
~~Make sure to get those kiddies of yours into lifting early, bruh. I wanna see they get fucking jacked~~
>You head snaps to the right and you can just make out two figures, shimmering in the sunlight
>One was the king that you had been honored to meet
>The other was one who you had considered to be your enemy, though now she was different
>She was smaller, barely into ottermode, and she was smiling a HAPPY smile
~~The Shelia here wanted to see you fucking kill this lift so I decided to bring her down for the show~~
>The smaller figure takes a step toward you
>You could see that she wanted to say something important, something meaningful, but at the last moment decided against it
~~...Good lift, Anonymous.~~
>You stare at the two figures for a long while and they stared back with grins before nodding
>Alright Anon
>One last time
>Puffing your chest out you throw your arms up in the air and strike the Zyzz pose
>Though the figures are already disappearing you see them do the same
~~See you on the other side Bruh....~~
>You hold the pose for a minute longer before your arms find their way back to your sides
"We'll all gonna make it..."
>"Anon? Who are you talking to?"
>Looking to your side you see Cadence staring at you curiously
>Chuckling, you reach down and ruffle her mane
"No one, Candy."
>The mare squeals as you bent down and lift her up onto your back
"I was just muttering about how I'm the luckiest guy in the whole wide world
>Cadence giggles, wrapping her hooves around your neck and putting her head on your shoulder
>"Whatever you say you silly colt," you murmurs, kissing your cheek before gently kicking your sides
>"Now mush; Celestia and Luna are probably about to hurt somepony wondering where the hay you are."
>Giving her rump a playful pat you make your way toward the podium to listen to the too long Equestrian national anthem and get your gold metal
>Over these past few months you had made it
>You had a herd that loved you
>You were as big as a barge and stronger than a ox
>And you had a bunch of little munchkins on the way
>You made it
>And if you could so could any other cunt out there
 
~~~~~THE END: FOR REAL THIS TIME~~~~~
