Title:           Tsunlestia 6 (final)
Author:          LaPsbin
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/hD9sJ9dh
First Edit:      Friday 18th of December 2015 07:57:26 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 18th of December 2015 07:57:26 PM CDT

>"Come on now, Anonymous, keep up the pace! You and I have many things to do today!"
>It must have been around eleven o'clock in Canterlot
>This was the busiest time in the city
>Ponies were running around to get food down at the market, messengers were scurrying around doing message horse things, nobles were out and about socializing and the streets were thick with tourists and sales horses alike
>The streets were packed to the brim with mares and stallions, chatting, yelling and sometimes even fighting as they went along their merry little horse ways
>Usually you'd never be caught dead out in the city around this time unless it was an emergency
>You were never a very big fan of pushing your way through crowds, and every single time you DID walk out this madness some little nigger horse would steal your bit bag
>Every
>Single
>FUCKING
>TIME!
>But today was a very special day
>Princess Celestia, your soon-to-be friend, had cleared up her schedule to run around town with you
>Or as she put it, "I decided to spend the d-day with you to make sure you weren't eating anypony. B-Baka."
>And when one was "running" around town with the top pony princess in the land there were some distinct differences
>For one there were all of the grumpy looking guards around you pushing and shoving ponies out of the way so you and Celestia could walk without trouble
>And, in most cases, ponies would just move out of the way whenever they saw the biggest pone in the land walking down the street with her trademark smile on her face
>The bowing and scraping and general brown nosing was also new
>Though you knew that it wasn't directed at you watching ponies bowing and all of that shit kind of made you uncomfortable
>And though Celestia's face never changed when it happened you couldn't help but think it made her just a little bit uncomfortable too
>That being said, you'd take all of the fucking bowing in the world if it meant no little fucking pickpocket was going to make off with your bits
>Again
>...Fucking nigger horses...
"So where are we going again, Princess?" you asked, hurrying up to catch up to the power-walking princess
>You're only asking this because she didn't tell you
>The guard that had dragged you out of bed wasn't too talkative either, so you'd figure you'd ask now
>There was a better chance of her not yelling at you in this crowd
>Probably
>Celestia snorted, her "princess" smile leaving her face for a moment
>"The two of us are going to a little diner a few blocks from here. I need something in my belly before I can properly see to our... friendship."
>You were going to eat first?
>Great, you were kind of a little hungry
>You hadn't been able to get anything for breakfast because you spent the whole morning getting ready for your play date
>...And yes, you know how pathetic that sounds...
"Well, that sounds wonderful, princess. I'm sure wherever you pick the foods going to be great."
>Celestia stumbles before spinning around to face you
>"O-Of course any place I'd pick would be great!" she stutters, her cheeks turning red. "I-I've lived in this city f-for a thousand years! W-Why wouldn't I know where the best places to eat are?!"
>She looked away from you, one of her wings opening to cover her face
>"N-not that I'm taking y-you to one of the b-best diners in the c-city or anything, b-baka..."
>...Alright
>You just assumed that she knew where all of the good eating places were because she was kind of chub-- big boned! BIG BONED! but that explanation was fine too...
>You think?
>Celestia opened her mouth to say more when she looked up at the sun
>For some reason she gasped
>"N-Now look at what you did!I-If we don't hurry w-we won't beat the rush!"
>Celestia's guards roll their eyes as the princess glares at you for a second longer before nearly galloping down the street
>...And there she goes...
>For some reason...
>The guards sprint after her, leaving you just standing there scratching your head
"I'm... sorry?"
>You look at some of the random crowd pones just staring at you, hoping for a little support
>But like all backgrounds horses all they did was stare back at you with their giant, judging eyes
>Their judging, judging eyes...
>...
>Wait
>Celestia's getting away!
>You couldn't be friends with the silly little horse if she ran away!
>Eyeing the background pones for a second longer you take off down the street
"Wait... princess! Wait! Stop running... Whoo... do I need to do more... cardio!"
>Though Celestia was a fast horse you were determined
>VERY DETERMINED
>After about a block or ten you managed to catch up to her
>And by catch up you were trailing about fifty feet from her covered in sweat and ready to fucking drop
"Princess... please... slow down... I'm dying... here..."
>Seeing that you were behind her, Celestia skidded to a halt
>With a ruffle of her feathers she looked around
>"Oh, will you look at that," she said, not sounding out of breath at all. "We're here."
>You force yourself the last dozen feet toward her
>Leaning on one of the little guard horses, none of which seemed all that out of breath either, you looked across the street as you caught your breath
>There, sandwiched between a comic store and a sex shop, was this mom and pop-looking diner
>"It looks like we managed to beat the crowd. Good."
>Extending a wing Celestia tapped the back of your head
>"Come along, we still have much to do today!"
>Without waiting for an answer she trotted toward the oddly placed eating establishment
>The little guard pone who you were leaning on frowned
>"Sir, will you please get off me?"
"Give me... a minute," you say, patting his little horse head. "Fucking ponies... and your... surprising quickness..."
>Oh god
>Your vision was starting to get a little fuzzy
>Hopefully if you die you'll crush this little horse under you
>It might have been shitty but no one wanted to die alone
>And you especially didn't want to die alone after running a few blocks
>Maybe if you and this little nigga died together you could ride him in the afterlife or something
>...No homo...
"Fuck... cardio..."
 
>"The diner has been thoroughly searched and the owners have been given your instructions as per your instructions your highness.
>You look down at your saluting guards stallion with a small smile
"Very good, Sergeant. You and your soldiers may do as you will while the two of us get something to eat."
>Hopefully the Sergeant and his men would actually sit down and get something to eat themselves
>They all worked so awfully hard protecting you
>You wouldn't mind if they sat down and took a break
>You'd even happily pay for their meals
>It was the least you could do for their service
>After greeting the owners of this little diner, and asking how their grand fillies were doing, you sat down at your usual table and waited for Anonymous to come through the door
>Humph
>Of COURSE you'd have to wait for him
>You should have expected it!
>First he tried to make you late for lunch by "complimenting" you and now he doesn't even have the courtesy of coming in the same time as you
>Blah!
>Where does he get off saying nice things to you...
>Grumbling to yourself you look over the menu as the dummy finally makes his way into the diners
>You feel a pang of worry when you see that he's a little pale
>Oh...
>Maybe you ran him a little too hard?
>Hopefully the poor dea-- THE B-BAKA won't throw up everywhere!
>That'd ruin the whole day!
"Come now, Anonymous. Sit, sit!"
>Though you don't look up from your menu (you're VERY focused on what you want to get) you could hear him stumbling toward you
>There was the faint smell of sweat wafting through the air, and through your fault of your own you inhaled deeply
>Though he had just stepped into the diner you could already smell that exotic, alien musk that always seemed to follow him
>That intoxicating, addicting--
>"So what are ya getting?"
>You jumped a bit as Anonymous finally sat down, looking at you with that bright, dumb smile of his
"Y-You're lucky that the waitress h-hasn't come yet," you say, mentally wincing at the stutter in your voice. "I-I wouldn't h-have gotten you a-anything to drink...
>The smile on Anonymous's face doesn't diminish in the slightest as he reaches over and grabs a menu for himself.
>"Well, I guess I'm lucky that I got here in time huh?" he chirped, opening up the menu
>You glared at him before looking back at your own menu
>Y-You wouldn't have gotten him anything to drink either...
>If the waitress would have walked over here you would have gotten yourself something and that was it!
>S-Stupid Anon...
>Out of the corner of your eye you watched as Maybelle, the one of the owner's daughters and the only waitress in this diner, trotted over to you
>"Good afternoon your highness!"
>You folded up the menu and smiled at her
"Good afternoon, my little pony. Business has been good I hope?"
>Maybelle nodded as she pulled out a little notebook
>"Oh, it's been as good as it's ever been," she said with a sigh. "Dad keeps complaining about nopony ever coming through the door though."
>You smiled
"Is your mother still insisting that you find a husband, my dear?"
>Three
>Two
>One...
>You grinned as Maybelle flinched, a blush quickly coming to her face
>"Y-You know how mom is," she had with a strained laugh, fishing out a pen from her apron. "If all of her kids aren't married-- oh, hello there."
>Anonymous, who had been blissfully looking at his menu, looked over at the young waitress as she turned her attention to him
>The smile on your face faded as you watched the young mare eyeing the human with a glint of... something in her eye
>You didn't like that glint
>You didn't like it at all
>"Excuse me for not noticing you, sir. The princess here usually doesn't bring anypony to our little diner," Maybelle apologised, eyeing him up like he was a slab of meat. "Especially not... tall glasses of water like yourself~"
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that she was giving him bedroom eyes...
>Anonymous smiled, and he was about to say something when you loudly cleared your throat
"There's no need to apologise for anything, my dear," you say, drawing Maybelle's attention back to you. "Now, I'm sure that you're a very busy mare..."
>Winking at Anon, Maybelle giggled
>"Of course your highness. Now what can I get you two to drink?"
>Once again Anonymous opened his mouth to say something but you quickly cut him off
"Both of us will have sweet tea."
>"And do you both know what you're getting or do you want me to come back in a few minutes?"
"I'll have the hay burger and Anonymous here will have the roast beef sandwich with extra gravy."
>"ROAST BEEF?!"
>Anonymous was about to get up from his seat-- no doubt knocking the table over in the process-- but you forced him to sit back down with a spell
"INSIDE voice, Anonymous," you chided, hoofing Maybelle the menu. "And yes, this diner serves roast beef."
>"My mom and pa serve a lot of gryphons, sweetie," Maybelle say, quickly writing down your orders and closing her notepad. "We serve all kinds of meat here."
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that Anon was about to have a panic attack with how hard that he was breathing
>You didn't know why he was acting like this
>The kitchen in the castle served meat on a regular basis...
>Maybe he just really liked roast beef?
>Or maybe it was the mention of gravy?
>This dummy seems like he'd be a real fan of gravy...
>"Alright, so a hay burger with an order of fries and a roast beef sandwich with an order of potato-- oh, silly me!"
>You found yourself frowning as Maybelle mozied on closer to Anonymous
>A bit too close
>"With the roast beef you can either have an order of fries, a salad, or an order of mashed potatoes, hon," she said, leaning in close.
>Anonymous looked over at you, probably waiting for you to say something, but you just huffed, crossing your fore legs and looking away
>"I'll have the mashed potatoes if you don't mind," he said, handing Mrs. Maybelle his menu
>The waitress giggled
>"Oh it's no trouble AT ALL, sweetie," she said, patting his leg before she turned around. "I'll be back with your drinks in a minute~"
>Your eye twitched as she tickled Anonymous's nose with her tail
>"Don't you two go anywhere, ya hear~"
>It's only through your godly kindness and patience that you managed to keep calm and collected as Maybelle trotted toward the back room
>The second that she was gone from sight you turned your attention to Anonymous
"Anon, come sit next to me," you said, patting the seat next to you with a wing
>You didn't know what had gotten into Maybelle but you honestly didn't care for it
>To think that she's out here flirting with everypony that catches her fancy!
>You KNOW that her mother taught her better than that!
>She should be trying to find a good stallion for herself, not this BUTT!
>Without a word Anon gets up out of his seat and sits in the one right next to yours
>Since the table was so small, the two of you being far bigger than the average stallion or mare, you're forced to scooch close to him so that the two of you would be able to fit
>A-And that was the only reason!
>It w-wasn't like you wanted to feel his leg and side gently brushing against yours!
>Y-You were just making sure that he'd be able to sit comfortably
>Like any good friend s-should!
>...
>...
>...
>He smells ni--
>"That chair was pretty wobbly," Anonymous said with sigh, leaning back into the chair. "I was going to switch it when that waitress left but it looks like you noticed it before I could!"
>You find yourself blushing as Anon looked you in the eyes
>Like any evil doer there was only warmth and affection in them
>Truly a sign that he was up to no g-good
>"Thanks, Celestia."
>...Chair?
>What the hay was he talking about chairs for?
>You just didn't want Maybelle to try to flirt with him
>She deserved better than this butthead...
>This big, tall, nice-smelling butthead
>But you weren't going to turn away a perfectly good explanation when it's dropped into your lap
>Wishing that you had your menu back (n-not because you wanted to h-hide behind it o-or anything but b-because you r-really wanted to look at t-the desserts!) you looked down at the table
>Oh, will you look at that!
>They got new sugar packets since you were last here!
>Interesting!
"I-I just didn't want you h-hurting your back," you mumble, lying through your teeth. "I don't w-want you complaining a-about it w-while we're walking t-though the city..."
>B-Baka...
>Some sort of vile gravitational pull forces you to lean against Anonymous just a little bit
>Just enough so that you were barely brushing up against him
>Anon, the devious villain that he was, said nothing as the two just sat there in silence
>Your wings twitched, one of them slowly extending
>Looking straight ahead you began to wrap the feathery appendage around his shoulder so as to keep the other customers safe
>If you had a wing wrapped around him he w-wouldn't attack any pon--
>"And here's your drinks!"
>Yelping, you pull your wing back to your side just before you were about to touch Anon's back
>You try to act natural
>You fail
>So, to your embarrassment, you spaz out just a little bit
"Drinks?! DRINKS! Of course! BECAUSE WE ASKED FOR THE DRINKS AND YOU BROUGHT THEM TO US! HAHAHAHAHA!"
>Anonymous jumps at your little rant, looking at you in confusion
>WHAT THE BUCK WAS HE LOOKING AT?!
>YOU WEREN'T BEING WEIRD!
>YOUWEREN'TBEINGWEIRD!!!
>NOTATALL!!!
>Maybelle, ever the professional, doesn't even bat an eyelash, simply placing your drinks down onto the table with a smile
>"Your food will be out in a little bit!" she chirped before looking over at Anon
>"That chair's wobbly," the human said when she raised an eyebrow questioningly. "The princess here saw it and offered me to sit next to her."
>"Really?" Maybelle murmured, grabbing the chair and wiggling it around. "Huh... I'll have to tell dad so he can get a new one... Sorry about that."
>Waving her off, Anon reached over and grabbed both of your drinks
>"Don't worry about it," he said as he slide you your drink. "I'm sure the food will more than make up for it."
>With another giggle, and a wink thrown in Anon's direction, Maybelle turned away
>"You two just holler if you need anything, you hear?"
>Anon lightly bumps you with his side and smiles
>You stare straight ahead, avoiding his EVIL gaze, and began to drink your sweet tea
>That gravitational pull once again forces you against the human's side
>You tried to fight it but it was no use, you were trapped against his side
>And...
>To your surprise...
>The longer you stayed there the more you were okay with it...
 
>The gravy was thick and brown
>The roast beef was cooked so that it melted in your mouth
>The bread was thick cut and white...
>The kitchens up in Canterlot made some pretty good food, sometimes pretty great food
>Hell, they would even make meat whenever you asked them to
>But nothing they had ever made compared to what you were eating right now
>You were a guy that LOVED his gravy and his roasted meats and this was some of the best that had>The gravy was thick and brown
>The roast beef was cooked so that it melted in your mouth
>It was so good in fact that your dick was threatening to poke a hole through your pants
>If you didn't have a princess sitting right next to you you would have ordered five more of these suckers and eaten them like the fat fuck you were
>But since there was a princess sitting next to you, a princess whose friendship that you wanted, you were on your best behavior
>You ate slowly, with little bites, making sure to wipe your face with a napkin whenever there was too much gravy on your face
>Delicious, delicious gravy
>Celestia, for some reason or another, wasn't digging into her food like you thought that she was going to
>She was just kind of sitting there nibbling on her hay fries staring at you out of the corner of her eye
>...Was
>Was something wrong with her burger and fries?
>Swallowing your mouthful of food, and trying your best not to moan, you look over at the princess
"Is there something wrong with your food, Celestia?" you asked
>Maybe her fries were cold or her burger wasn't cooked all that way and she was just eating them to seem polite?
>Or maybe she just didn't like to eat in front of other people?
>...Maybe she was just being a silly pone doing silly pone things?
>That was probably it...
>Celestia pauses mid nibble of one of her fries
>One of her big purple eyes snaps towards you
>You have to resist the urge to pat the princess on the head as a light blush colors her cheeks
>"A-And why would you say that, Anonymous?" she asked, her feathers ruffling
>Aw
>When she wasn't being as scary as shit Celestia really was pretty adorable...
"Well, you've barely eaten anything."
>She snorted
>"Just because I'm not stuffing my face doesn't mean I'm not eating, Anon."
>...Fair
"Hey, I'm just making sure that my newest friend's not starving herself or anything like that."
>Celestia blushed harder at that, muttering something under her breath as she stuffed another fry in her mouth
>You couldn't help but smile as you took another big out of your sandwich
>Friend...
>You were going to be this big white horse's friend after all of this...
>Even if it kill you
>...Though hopefully it wouldn't
>"Here you go, hon!"
>You looked up just as your waitress set a glass of tea down in front of you, a big smile on her face
"Oh, thank y--"
>Something wrapped around your back, nearly knocking you out of your seat
>Rocking back and forth in your chair, you quietly curse and steady yourself before looking over your shoulder
>To your surprise a giant white wing had wrapped itself around your shoulder, pressing you against Celestia, the owner of said wing
>The Princess of the Sun was staring at the little waitress horse
>Not with that little "royal" smile of hers, not glaring; she was just kind of... staring
>"Could you please get me a glass of water, Maybelle?" she asked with an icy calm that made you nervous. "I think I've had my fill of sweet tea. Among other things."
>Maybell paused mid step to look at the alicorn
>There must have been something in her eyes because not two seconds later she took a hasty step backwards
>"O-Of course, princess. I'll get that for you right a-away!"
>You raise an eyebrow as the little pone scurries off
>...Alright...
>That was... Something
>Taking a deep breath, Celestia picked up her sandwich
>Making sure that you were watching, she lifted it up and took a big bite out of it
>"There, I'm eating," she said through a mouthful of burger. "Happy?"
>You chuckled as she chewed, a pleased hum escaping her throat
"I couldn't be happier."
>Seeing that she had a little bit of ketchup on her cheek you grabbed a napkin and wiped it off for her
>For a second the princess shied away from your touch, a blush on her face, before she allowed you to clean her face
>There's a good pone
>A messy and kinda weird pone
>But still a pretty good pone
>A pretty good pone that was basking in the light that was friendship
>Let that shit seep down into your bones little pone
>LET THE FRIENDSHIP WIN!
~Later~
 
>"Alright, alright, just let me get a sip of water and I'll keep writing. And will you quit poking me?"
>You chuckled, making sure to keep the silly human close to your side
"I'll stop poking you as soon as you stop trying to tickle my wing pits whenever I'M reading," you reply as your wing tightened around him
>The two of you were sitting on the floor in the middle of your room
>In front of you there was a fire roaring, keeping away both the cold and the darkness
>Anonymous was holding a book that the two of you had been reading for a few hours now
>Your da-- INFILTRATION! had been a success
>You had done your very best to get on friendly terms with Anonymous and he, in his arrogance, had let you right in
>In fact, in just a few hours, the two of you were acting like you had been the best of friends with each other for years
>Without hesitation he had told you everything that you asked
>His past
>His likes
>His dislikes
>His hopes
>His fears
>The things that he liked to eat and the places he liked to go
>Why he always wore suits
>The butt had spilled the beans on everything that you needed to stop any of his evil schemes
>To keep him from being suspicious you had bitten the bolt and told him a little about yourself
>...Okay...
>Maybe more than a little...
>But it was for your little ponies!
>And after getting to know the villain snuggled beside you you and him had made your rounds around the city, basking in your victory
>You had showed him the best of the city, and in turn Anonymous had...
>Well he...
>Y-You didn't know EXACTLY what he did to you...
>But after spending the day with him you had this funny feeling in your chest!
>A feeling that was amplified whenever he was gone
>The butthead probably poisoned you or something...
>Which was why, in the hopes of finding a cure for whatever was ailing you, you had insisted that Anonymous stay in your room so that the two of you could read to each other
>You might not have figured out was wrong with you yet, but you had all night to find a solution
>And you had this dummy butthead right where you wanted in case you needed to interrogate him!
>Y-Yep!
>That w-was the only reason he was in y-your bedroom
>I-It wasn't like you d-didn't want him t-to go or a-anything!
>You watched as Anon took a big gulp of his water, impatience clawing at you
>The human had just gotten to the climax the book and he had to stop to get a drink of water!
>Bah!
>The baby...
>Draining the glass, Anon smacked his lips and set it down beside him
>"Alright," he said with a cough. "Let's get back to the story... The lord looked down at--"
>Turning his head Anon coughed again
>"--At the fallen lady, tears streaming--"
>He coughed again
>"--Streaming--"
>Rolling your eyes you snatched the book from his hands
"I'll read," you tell him, quickly finding the paragraph where he had left off. "We're going to get nowhere if you keep coughing like that!"
>Pounding his chest Anon nodded
>"Sorry, I'm not really used to talking this much..."
>Giving him a reassuring squeeze with your wing you picked up where he left off
>You know
>You really outdid yourself with this whole espionage thing
>In fact you were so good at it that you nearly fooled yourself into thinking that you had a legitimately good time with Anonymous today
>One of the best that you had had in a long time in fact
>And it was also nice that Anonymous was just like you imagined him to be
>You had gotten to know this stallion, this... man from reports that you had collected over the months and from observing him from afar
>You probably knew more about him than he knew himself
>But to BE with him, watching as he moved and talked and acted...
>It was oddly...
>Nice
>Your sister had roped herself a good friend; a friend that anypony would love to have
>...
>...
>...
>And he was your friend too now you supposed...
>Though you continued to read you stared at the human from out of the corner of your eye
>He was just sitting there giving you his undivided attention
>There was a small smile on his face as his eyes danced across the page, quietly following along with your reading
>Though it might have been a trick of the light you could see something in those eyes of his
>Joy
>Comfort
>Excitement
>All emotions good and wholesome and honest were in that villain's eyes
>Almost like he was happy to be sitting there listening to you read
>Almost like he had had just as good of a time as you had today
>Almost like he was happy that the two of you had became "friends"
>Pfff
>Like you'd REALLY ever be this dummy's friend...
>It's not like you'd want to go do other stuff with him...
>And you didn't think that he was funny or smart or nice AT ALL
>And you most certainly didn't enjoy feeling him pressed against you in any way, shape or form...
>You were just trying to find out his evil plots
>So that you have enough evidence to get Twilight and her friends up here to take him to pound town
>...The other pound town, not the one that you're thinking...
>...
>...
>...
>He really does smell nice...
>That feeling in your gut makes your stomach tight as you looked into the roaring fire in front of you
"A-Anonymous? Might I ask you something?"
>You swallow the lump in your throat, refusing to look at anything other than the fire
"I know that you haven't sought out any... intimate companionship since entering my kingdom..."
>You could feel your heart pounding in your chest
>You were shaking slightly and you most certainly were more than a little bit sweaty
>Your mind was racing about the consequences of what you were about to ask
>Even if you asked it in the most laid back and uncaring way possible this could blow up in your face
>Anonymous could get up and leave and he wouldn't want to be your friend anymore...
>In fact, as far as he knew, the two of you were only getting to know each other today!
>You should just go back to reading the book and NOT ask him what you're about to ask him
>...What you REALLY want to ask him...
>Though common sense is screaming at you not to do this that feeling in your stomach made the decision for you
>Though you had been trying your best to ignore it you knew what the emotion was
>Lo...Lov... t-that word
>The L word
>...
>...
>...
>Buck it
>You were going to ask
>Youweregoingtoaskhimdammit!!!
"A-And, you s-see, I w-was wondering if--"
>"...Zzzzzzz..."
>You blink and looked up at Anonymous
>The human was slumped against you with his eyes closed and his mouth opened slightly
>Was...
>Was he asleep?!
>You get that worked up and he falls ASLEEP?!
>You stare at him, furious and red faced, ready to smack him upside his head
>...But then you just sigh, relief filling you
"A-Another day," you mutter to yourself with a shaky sigh, closing your book and setting it down beside you
>A quiet snore from Anon made you once again turn your attention toward him
>The light from the fire was dancing across his features, making it appear that he was glowing
>And just like he had been this whole day he seemed at peace
>Happy even...
>...
>...
>...
>Craning your neck, you reach up and kiss the dummy's chin
"B-Baka," you mutter, snuggling up against him
>Your horn glowed, and in an instant a blanket wrapped around the two of you
>With another spell you extinguished the roaring fire, bathing your bedroom in darkness
>Too comfortable to even bother moving from your spot, and too embarrassed with what you did to even THINK properly, you just closed your eyes and readied yourself for what would probably be the best sleep that you've had in a long time
"..Love you..."
