Title:           Butt off (Earth ponies 2)
Author:          LaPsbin
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/TqT5XCda
First Edit:      Sunday 3rd of April 2016 03:53:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 3rd of April 2016 03:53:18 PM CDT

"Are you done messing around yet?"
>There was a look of absolute peace on Anon's face as he looked downa at you
>He was wearing a long white robe and his hands were together
>You don't know where he managed to get the robe
>Nor did you want to know
>"I have come back from my ordeal with a new mind and an ironclad soul," he told you with a little nod of the head. "The booty flesh has healed me and made me whole again."
"So you're ready to get back to this?" you asked, not even bothering to keep the irritation out of your voice
>Anon nodded, ripping off his robes and tossing them away
>"Yep. Let's keep going."
>...
>Bucking Anon...
>The other fellas, who were conversing with some of the mares that were still milling around on the stage, made their way over to the two of you
>"Alright," Anon said, rubbing his hands together. "Who do we have next?"
>"That would be me, partner."
>Your eyes traveled down the flanks that had been marked with Anon's marker until you found a number-free butt staring back at you
>And while this flank was covered in panties just like all the rest there was no denying who was the owner of this particular bottom
>You knew those apple cutiemarks and that orange flank anywhere
>It was your boss, the "hardest working mare" in town, Applejack
>Urrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh
>This was gonna be a weird one...
>"Oh ho ho, it looks like we got big apples herself next up huh?" Anon asked as you all formed around her
>Applejack nodded
>"Yep, I heard that ya were havin' a competition fer who has the best flank," she said, with a wiggle of her butt. "I figured that I'd come down here an' show these mares what a cowmare can bring ta the table."
>Your gaze drifted away from Applejack's face and toward the thing that you were supposed to be judging
>And sweet Luna in the moon was there a lot to judge
 
>Applejack's butt was big
>It was really, really big
>But unlike Mrs. Cake's... flank her's wasn't just a mass of flesh
>This flank was not only big because of some VERY fine genetics but the result of years of hard, hard farm labor
>It was big, but most of that mass of muscle, with JUST enough fat to give it its pleasant shape
>Even though Applejack was a pig that stared at YOUR butt whenever you walked by her and she ALWAYS ordered you around like you were a slave you had to admit that her butt was a really nice one
>Anon, seeing your lingering stare, gave you a light pat on the back
>"It is a nice booty, my young pone padawan, but is it worth a ten?" he asked before motioning you all closer with a hand
>"Alright, are you ready, Applejack?" he asked, getting down on one knee
>Applejack looked back at him, grinning
>"I was born ready, partner," she said, her eyes drifting over to you. "Do yer worst."
>Without much of a fuss, Anon pulled down her panties and moved back a bit
>"Now, my fellow gentlemen, I think that now would be a good time to explain to you about something called forced perspective."
>The smile on Applejack's face grew as Anon grabbed two big handfuls of her flank
>"You see, while I'm sure that you guys think that Applejack's flank is big you'd be both right AND wrong."
>His hands quickly groped up and down her flanks with practiced ease
>Applejack bit her lip, her tail lifting ever so slightly
>"Applejack here doesn't have a big butt, she has a MASSIVE butt. A massive, perky, beautiful butt that should be documented so down the road future butt lovers can appreciate it."
>Applejack's grin grew and you could see on her face that she was expecting to win this whole thing
>That was until Spark Plug spoke up
>"It's big sure, but haven't we seen bigger?" he asked, his head cocked to the side. "I mean Lily had a really big butt, and Sea Shell's butt was pretty massive too..."
 
>A low groan escaped Applejack's lips and you could feel a blush growing on your face as her tail lifted a little higher
>Yep...
>Yep...
>This was starting to get weird...
>"You're right, they're butts WERE pretty big, but not as big as Applejack's," Anon said, reaching down and poking at her legs. "And that's where forced perspective comes in. Applejack, could you please turn to the side please?"
>Applejack, who looked a great deal more concerned than she had a second ago, though she still had this hazy, horny look about her, did as Anon asked, stepping out from the row of mares and standing so that she was sideways to you all
>"Alright," Anon said with a clap of his hands. "Now I want you to just focus on her butt. Don't look at her middle, don't look at her thighs or legs, just focus on her butt."
>You did as Anon asked
>You had no idea WHY he wanted you too...
>...
>No way...
>Why was Applejack's butt getting bigger?
>"You see, Applejack is a bit different from the other mares that we've judged," Anon said as he rubbed his cheek against Applejack's flank. "While a lot of earth ponies do a lot of hard field work most of them don't spent hour upon hour kicking trees so hard that they lose all of their apples."
>Anon spread the mare's cheeks apart as he nipped at her cutiemark, a low hum escaping his throat
>Applejack's hips bucked, causing her rump to jiggle and gyrate
>"Bucking apples is a hell of a lot of work that uses a great deal more than just your ass."
>Your eyes drifted down to Applejack's legs, and for a moment her flank seemed just a bit smaller
>"It also gets the legs too, hence these fantastic things here," Anon said, giving one of her legs a squeeze. "Even though Applejack's rear end is stacked in all of the right ways these thighs, because they're so fucking juicy--
>Leaning down, Anon gave each back leg a little kiss
>Applejack let out a gasp, pressing herself against the human
>"--Makes it look far less glorious than it actually is."
 
>Turning to you Anon got to his feet and dusted himself off as you milled over what he had just said
>Applejack's let out a quiet snort, taking in a few deep breaths as she tried, in vain, to stop her tail from flagging
>...Huh
>Guess you learn something new ever day...
>And from Anon of all people...
>Even Applejack looked surprised at the revelation, looking at her legs and her bottom with new eyes
>"Huh, well I'll be," she muttered, sounding downtrodden, though still a bit husky from Anon's teasing. "An' here I thought my flank butt looked mighty fine..."
>"It's a fantastic ass, Aj," Anon reassured, patting the mare on the back. "And because of that--"
>Pulling out his marker Anon quickly wrote a ten on Applejack's left butt cheek
>"I think you've earned yourself a perfect little score."
>Applejack blinked
>"What?" she asked, sounding confused. "But I thought ya said--"
>"I was just showing the guys here about how a flank can be bigger than it actually looks," Anon interrupted with a shrug. "I never said that you having big legs would make your ass look WORSE."
>Applejack let that sit for a moment before her eyes just lit up
>"Yee-haw!" she cried, tossing her hat into the air. "I knew that this apple bottom couldn't be beat!
>Anon chuckled
>"Hey now, we still got a couple of-- oh my lordy lou."
>A happy smile came to Anon's face as he looked over to the mare that was patiently waiting for her turn to be judged, a Ms. Nurse Redheart
>"Oh Red, you shouldn't have..."
>A throaty giggle escaped the nurse's throat as she looked over at Anonymous with half lidded eyes
>Her mane was tied up in a neat ponytail, and what she was wearing on her backside was NOT a pair of panties
>There, leaving nothing to the imagination and doing nothing to cover her flank at ALL, was a bright red G-string
>Just like Applejack, Redheart was sporting a MASSIVE, perky flank, but unlike, Applejack, her legs weren't unproportionally big
 
>They accented her flank JUST enough so that it didn't look like she was walking around on a pair of sticks
>In fact they were just big enough so that you had something nice to look at before your eyes drank in the main course
>You could see that the string on the G-string was snuggled neatly in between Redheart's buns
>What little fabric was left was straining against her flank
>From beside you Mr. Cake was slowly putting on a pair of sunglasses as he bit his lip
>You have no idea where he managed to get them
>Anon put his hands over his heart as he took a step over toward the mare
>"And good morning to you too, Mr. Anonymous," Redheart chirped with a happy--
>...Wait
>Where did you get these sunglasses that you were holding?!
>"I see that you and your friends over there are enjoying themselves," the nurse continued, looking over her shoulder and fluttering her eyelashes at you
>...
>Did Redheart have a herd?
>You think you remember that she was with Berry Punch and mare from Canterlot Minuette but did she have a stallion
>A low groan escaped both you and the other fellas throats as Redheart gave her butt a little shake
>The flesh rippled, her butt cheeks clapping together
>Anon leapt back as if struck, the mares standing behind him catching him as he fell backward, his eyes wide
>"So what do you think, boys?" Redheart asked, basking in your hungry stares and the glares of the mares all around her. "How's my flank?"
>Sweet Celestia almighty...
>Slowly, as if moved some by unseen force, you slipped on the sunglasses in your hoof
>Narrowing your eyes you bit your lip as you slowly shook your head up and down
>Though you didn't see it the other fella, who had also somehow gotta their hooves on some glasses, slipped them on, bit their lips, and stared nodding their heads long with you
>Yeah...
>This was getting you to places where you wanted to go...
>Collecting himself, though not really, Anon walked over to Redheart and kneeled down
 
>"Alright, Red, let's see what we're working with huh?" he said, hooking his thumbs through the dental floss that was the nurse's G-string with an almost religious revelance
>Redheart giggled
>"Oh you can look and play with my rump all you want, Anon," she said. "I don't mind at all~"
>The second that Anon let her G-string hit the floor you could see a hungry glint in Anon's eye
>His body tensed up and you watched as he quickly grabbed the nurse's hips
>Instantly, you could tell what he was about to do
>Something which, since you LIKED to continue not to be branded a slut, you weren't going to let Anon do
"Anon!" you snapped, diving forward just as the human was about to bury his face between Redheart's cheeks
>Just before his nose touched her plot you managed to grab him by his belt and roughly yank him backward, much to both his and Redheart's dismay
>With a whimper, Anon tried to struggle against your grasp before you spun him around and slapped him across the face
>Once, then once more, then once again
"Anon! ANON!"
>Anon's eyes widened, and he looked around like he didn't know where he was
>"What?! Who?! Why?!"
>To make sure that you friend was really back in the land of the living you slapped him again
>"I'm back, I'm back! Stop hitting me for Christ's sake!" Anon cried, pushing you away
"What the buck do you think you were doing?!" you demanded
>"I couldn't help it! The booty was speaking to me, Caramel!"
"You were about to bury your face in her crotch, Anon!"
>"I'm a weak-willed man, Caramel! If the booty beckons them I must heed the call!"
"You're bucking impossible!"
>"And you're a three foot tall marshmallow horse that hates fun! Why do you hate fun, Caramel?!"
>As you and Anon argued back and forth, much to the amusement of many of the mares, you didn't notice as Time Turner walked up to Redheart and started where Anonymous left off
 
>He felt up her flank, he inspected her legs and her butt's perkiness, even nuzzling her rump, all the while chatting with a giggling Redheart
>And while he was a bit nervous at first talking to such a SMOKING hot mare eventually the two were getting along fine
>And then more than fine
>Then even finer than that
"--And another thing, you're bucking suit looks tacky on you!"
>"Bitch, I rock out with my cock out in this fucking suit! You mule-lookin' ass, no fun having, double nigg--"
>"She gets a ten out of ten."
>Both you and Anon, who you were trying to shake the stupid out of, stopped what you were doing to look over at a red-faced Time Turner and an equally red-faced but hugely grinning Redheart
>The mare had a ten drawn on her flank and what looked like a little slip of paper in her...
>...
>Oh...
>With his chest puffed out, Time Turner trotted past you and stood next to the other boys, who looked just as impressed as you
>Clearing his throat, a ghost of a smile on his face, Anon stood up and quickly brushed himself off
>"Alright, it looks like we got another ten outta ten so we--"
BOOM!
>You , the fellas and most of the mares on the stage hit the deck as Pinkie Pie EXPLODED out of Applejack's hat
>And by exploded she SHOT out of Applejack's hat
>Shout. Out
>You saw it with your own eyes
>"Nooooonnnnnnnnyyyyyyy!" she cried, all four hooves splaying out as she flew toward him
>Anon, who hadn't even flinched as explosions and confetti went off all around him, reached up and plucked Pinkie out of the air
>"Hey Ponk!" he chirped, holding the mare at arm's length
>Pinkie giggled, her back legs kicking
>"Hey, Nonny!" Pinkie chirped right back
>You slowly lifted your head to look at the two
>Pinkie Pie?
>How the hay did she--
BOOM!
 
>With a yelp, you once again hit the deck as Pound and Pumpkin cake flew out of one of the concession stand ovens, laughing their heads off
>Mr. and Mrs. Cake, with a hustle that you don't think you've ever seen from the two, hopped up to their hooves and launched themselves off of the stage and toward their children, thankfully catching them
>Pinkie's smile became a little more nervous as they cashed into the audience
>"Hehe... Sorry about that Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Those two silly fillies were supposed to come out of Applejack's hat with me but there wasn't enough room and--"
>Mrs. Cake, with Pound in her arms, let out a groan
>The mares that Mrs. Cake at landed on, those poor, poor mares, also let out groans
>"You alright there, Mr. Cake?" Anon called
>Mr. Cake, who was holding Pumpkin against his chest, gave him a hooves up before letting his hoof flop to the ground with a groan
>Both of the babies let out cute little giggles as they nuzzled themselves against their parents
>...
>An awkward, kind of unsure silence filled the air as ponies looked at each other, unsure what to do now
>"Ahem, SO, what brings you here my pink amigo?" Anon asked. "Did you want to get in on this ass action?"
>Pinkie blinked, looking around for a moment before her mouth opened up in an O
>"Ohhhh, is that what this is? I though you were all were having a party and you meanies didn't want to invite me!" Pinkie exclaimed, before hopping out of Anon's grasp
>Anon snorted
>"And why the hell wouldn't we invite the premier party pony, Pank?" he asked. "And didn't Mrs. Cake tell you that she was going to this ass off?"
>A look of realization flashed across Pinkie's face
>"So THAT'S what she was talking about," pinkie murmured, rubbing her chin. "I was so busy eating those cupcakes that Mrs. Cake made for me--epp!"
>All of the sudden Anon picked up Pinkie, a wild look in his eyes
>Lifting the pink pony over his head, he stared at her derriere
 
>"Oh shit, I forgot you lived with the Cakes! PINTO!"
>Looking just as confused as the rest of you, Pinkie looked down at her friend
>"Yes, Nonny?"
>"You know that I you're my nigger and that I would never lie to you right?"
>"Of course, Nonny. We ride together we die together. Crips5life!"
>...Crips?
>What the buck was a cr--
>"You need to stop eating so much garbage, Ponk!"
>Tossing the mare into the air (she "wheed" while he did it) Anon caught her by her flanks and pressed her close to him so that their noses were touching
>"You have a nice big bubble butt right now but if you keep eating shit then you're gonna have a tub of lard like... Mrs. Cake," he hissed
>Pinkie looked down at her booty, her brow furrowing
>"...But I love sweets, Nonny," she said
>"I know you do, Ponk, and I'd never tell you to give them up, but as a booty lover I can't in good conscience watch as you're loses its luster!"
>"You DO love mare butts," Pinkie admitted, poking at her butt as Anon
>...Was he SERIOUSLY squeezing her flank right now?
>...Bucking Anon...
>"So here's what we're gonna do."
>Putting Pinkie down, but not before giving her another unnecessary grope, he pulled out his notepad, wrote something down on it, ripped out a piece of paper, and handed it to Pinkie
>"Here's an address. I want you to go there. You'll find an old Minotaur with three eye patches; tell her that Anon send you, she'll know what to do."
>With a giggle, Pinkie slipped the note into her mane and saluted
>"Aye aye captain! I'm not going to let this tush of mine go to waste."
>Falling back down on all fours she looked up at him hopefully
>"So can I get by fanny judged?" she asked
>Making a face, Anon slowly shook his head
>"Sorry, Pank, I'd love to help you out but you didn't register like everyone else."
>Wait...
>Anon had all of these mares REGISTER for this event?!
>When the heck did he manage to do that?!
>Pinkie's mane deflated slightly as she looked down at the ground
 
>"Oh... okay," she muttered, kicking at the platform
>"Hey, hey, hey," Anon said, quickly crouching and placing his hands on her withers. "Don't be so blue by little pink chump. You don't need us to tell you that your booty meat is worth its weight in gold."
>Pinkie sniffled
>"R-Really?"
>Smiling, Anon pulled the mare into a hug
>"Oh course, Ponk. In fact..."
>Pulling out a marker Anon quickly put a nine on Pinkie's bottom
>"Even though you can't compete how about I give your ass the rating is deserves?" he asked, giving Pinkie's flank a little pat
>Pinkie looked back at her butt
>"A nine?" she asked, her voice filled with child-like wonderment
>Anon nodded, his smile widening
>"Yep, a nearly perfect number for an almost perfect little mare," he said
>The fellas, along with more than a few of the mares, awed and your nose scrunched up as the two hugged
>...That wasn't a heartwarming moment
>There was nothing heartwarming about that
>All Pinkie did was explode out of an impossible space and let Anon grope her
>And shouldn't somepony be angry about the babies almost getting hurt?
>...
>Bucking Anon...
>The two broke the hug and Anon stood up
>"Hey, Pankt, even though you can't be a competitor do you want to help me with the finals after we get the rest of these mares judged?"
>Pinkie gasped
>"Would I?!"
>Anon's smile lessened just a hair
>"...Would you?"
>"Would I?!
>"...Would you?"
>Would--"
>Walking over, you pushed Anonymous toward the next contestant
"Enough of THAT bucking horse apples," you muttered. "I swear to Celestia..."
>You all managed to finish up the other mares pretty quickly
>Surprisingly, a few more of them managed to get the "coveted" ten outta ten, those mares being Cheerilee and the spa twins Lotus and Aloe
>...The latter of which you MAY have gotten a date offer from...
>While these mares had been pleased as peach about having some of the best flanks in Ponyville it left you and the judges in an awkward situation
 
>You couldn't have five ponies winning; there was supposed to be just one winner
>Anon, being Anon, of course had a solution to this...
>"Alright, now it looks like we're in the final round for the earth pony class," Anon said, watching as the mares prepared themselves for the horse apples that they were about to do
>"That's right, Nonny! Each of these fillies has come to bring home the crown as the best ass in town!" Pinkie said, nudging the human
>Anon nudged her back before producing the thing that was going to settle all of this
>Five red plastic cups
>"Alright ladies, all of you are the finalists in this little competition of ours," he said, walking down the line of mares. "You all managed to get a ten outta ten and you should all be proud of that. If I could I'd say that you were all winners and motor boat your fannies until the sun exploded. But, unfortunately that's not gonna happen... Well the first part won't happen. If I'm in a good mood and you play your cards right the second might happen to you."
>You groaned as mares in the crowd began to giggle
>"So what we're gonna do to see who ACTUALLY wins is an old game that we played back on my world."
>Anon placed each of the cups standing up on at the base of each of the mare's flanks
>"It's a simple game on paper but only those with the best of asses can hope to win it."
>Grabbing the cup on Reheart's flank he flipped it upside down
>"I want you ladies to flip these cups over using nothing but your flanks and make sure that it DOES NOT fall off your beautiful behinds."
>Putting the cup back the way he had it, Anon stepped away and regarded each of the mares with his hands behind his back
>"Not only do you need to have a big ass but you need to be able to control it with the utmost accuracy, something which is very rarely seen but I'm positive that the one who will be crowned the winner will be able to do it."
>Pinkie stepped up
 
>"Yeppers! And we'll made sure to keep an eye on your silly fillies to make sure that there's no cheaters!"
>Anon clapped his hands together
>"So, with all of the explaining done are you girls ready?"
>The mares looked at each other, then at the cups on their flanks, before they nodded
>Anon grinned
>"Fantastic! Now, even if the cups fall off your flanks you can still pick them up and try again. The first one that manages to do it without dropping their cup wins and walks away with the crown!"
>Five big, beautiful flanks, tensed and untensed as the mares shuffled around, readying themselves
>"Alright, so we'll start on my mark."
>Stances were widened and withers were squared
>"Ready."
>Their ears perked up
>"Set."
>Applejack let out a snort and you swore you heard one of the spa twins mutter something in her native language
>Redheart was just smiling, obviously thinking that she had this in the bag
>Cheerilee honestly looked happy to be out and about not dealing with children in the classroom
>...Poor Cheerilee...
>"Annnnndddd..... GO!"
>For a moment nothing happened
>You could see irritation and confusion on the mare's faces as they tried to figure out how to go about using their butts to flip the cups, something which Anon HADN'T told them to do
>And, looking at Anon's grinning mug, you were sure that that was intentional
>Lotus was the first to give it a go, cautiously bucking her hips
>The cup lifted off her flank, turning in the air slightly, before the side of it hit her flank and rolled off onto the stage
>The other mares, seeing the spa pony's failure but knowing that she was on the right track, tried their hoof at it
>Applejack tried to buck her hips as hard as she could and send the cup high into the air so that she could get under the thing and catch it that way
>Cheerilee and Aloe tried smaller movements, letting their flanks do most of the work
>Redheart and Lotus tried the middle road, bucking while also using their hips
 
>They tried time and again and time and again but every attempt ended in failure
>Behind you, mares in the crowd shouted encouragements at the contestants as they flipped the cups, failed, and scrambled to grab them so that they could do it again
>All the while they did that there you were
>You, Pinkie, Anon, and the boys; all of you watching the mare's flanks ripple, wiggle, tense, flex and everything in between
>You knew that you could be watching to make sure that they girls weren't cheating
>But...
>You just couldn't look away from their butts
>Their beautiful, amazing butts
>...Not as amazing as YOURS mind you...
>But you wouldn't be ashamed to take one of these mares home to your moms or dad
>Out of the corner of your eye you could see tears streaming down Anon's face
>The smile on his face wasn't the huge, almost crazed one that he usually wore
>It was a small content smile
>"You shake those asses, guys," he said, pulling out a napkin from his coat pocket and dabbing his face with it. "You shake those phat asses."
>Minutes ticked by
>A light sheen of sweat began to coat the mares as their toiled under the hot spring sun, not a single one of them willing to give up
>Dozens of failures turned into hundreds, but with each attempt the mares started getting the hang of it
>You all let out a groan when Cheerilee nearly managed to get it
>You nearly cheered when Aloe nearly got it only for it to fall off her flank and onto to the floor
>And then, the seemingly unending failures was broken
>Applejack, sweat dripping from her brow, tossed her cup into the air
>At the same time Redheart launched her cup high into the sky
>You all, from the princesses to the lowest mare, watched as both cups arched through the air in a slow circle
>This was going to be it
>One of these was going to be the winning toss
>You could FEEL it in your bones
>Both Applejack and Redheart watched their cups, both mares positioning themselves under them
 
>The cups began to fall toward the meaty flanks
>You leaned forward
>The mares in the crowd leaned forward
>Anon was nearly laying on Pinkie to get a better look, still dabbing his face with his napkin as he licked his lips
>A pin drop could be heard as the cups hit their rumps
>The nurse and farmer bent their knees, desperately trying to keep their cups true
>Both of the cups wobbled dangerously back and forth and for a moment you were afraid that they both were going to fall off
>And one cup did
>But the other stayed
>The cheer that you all let out shook the windows of the buildings around you
>The other mares, disappointed with their loss, none the less cheered right along with you
>Over the roaring of the crowd you could just make out Anon's voice
>"AND THE WINNER IS... APPLEJACK!!!!"
>Applejack, who looked far more exhausted than she should have just flipping cups with her butt, grinned as Anon ran over and hoisted her on his shoulder so that the whole crowd could see her
>"APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK! APPL--..."
>The thunderous shouting turned into silence so quickly that it was eerie, mares looking away with blushes on their faces
>Your face turned red as well, but it wasn't because you were embarrassed
"Anon!" you snarled. "You bucking stop that right NOW! ANON! ANON!!!!"
