Title:           Fucking Bonbon... (babby edition)
Author:          LaPsbin
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ghWK64Cx
First Edit:      Saturday 5th of September 2015 07:20:27 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 5th of September 2015 07:20:50 PM CDT

>"Anonymous... Anonymous... ANONYMOUS!"
>Jumping slightly in surprise you look up from the SWEET dragon that you had been drawing for the past ten minutes to see your math teacher, Mr. Theorem, looming over you with a frown
>...Oh poop...
>He noticed...
>The older stallion's frown deepens when he sees your drawing as you just kind of sit there awkwardly
>Not awkward in the way that you were squirming in your seat but awkward because you didn't want anyone to see your mad dragon drawing skills until recess
>Hopefully your teacher didn't go trying to draw your dragon or something like that...
"...Yes, Mr. Theorem?"
>Adjusting the glasses on his face, your teacher loudly clears his throat as he waves the ruler that he had in his magic around your head
>...That jerk knew you didn't like it when he did that...
>"Well, Anonymous, I was wondering, if you weren't too busy practicing your art skills--"
>Your classmates snicker but you just ignore them
>This wasn't the first time you've been yelled at by a teacher
>And it probably wouldn't be last
>"--If you knew the answer to the solution on the board."
>...Double poop...
>Looking past the stallion you turn your attention to the chalkboard
>...Oh no
>Long division
>You HATED long division...
>But you knew Mr. Theorem was trying to make you look dumb in front of everyone because you hadn't been paying attention to his BOOORRRRRIIINNNGGGG class
>Which was boring
>And dumb
>Because you were never going to use long division in your LIFE
>Unfortunately the gauntlet had been thrown and you couldn't just say NO
>That'd mean the teacher that you didn't like and who HATED you (for some reason) would win
>And you couldn't have that!
>So it looked like you were gonna have to bite the bullet and go show this dumb adult who was boss
>...Somehow
>Grimacing you nod
"Yes Mr. Theorem sir, I know how to do the problem..."
>Your teacher looks down at you with a mocking smile that he only seemed to give you
>"Oh?"
>There's a popping sound, and a piece of chalk just appears in your hand
>...Stupid magic
>"Then why don't you go up to the board and show us how it's done then, Anonymous?"
>Putting on a brave face you wiggle out of your desk (since it was a little too small for your seven year old self) and stand up
>Five thousand seven hundred and thirty six divided by seventy six huh?
>...
>...
>...
>Oh no
>Not only was this long division but this was going to have DECIMALS
>Crap
>...No...
>You got this
>YOU GOT THIS!
>Puffing out your chest you stride toward the board with a determination not seen in many first graders
>You'd show your dumb teacher!
>AND you'd show this dumb math problem!
>You were Anonymous, and you didn't afraid of anything!
>Your fellow first graders watch as you march up to that chalk board, roll up your slightly too big sleeves on your slightly too big shirt (momma kept getting the tailors to make you bigger clothes so she didn't have to get you measured every few weeks since you were growing so much), and you attacked that math problem with everything you had
>Chalk dust went flying as you scribbled on that board as you wrote down problems, erased mistakes, and wracked your brain for all it was worth
>Eventually, after what felt like a million, billion years you think you came up with the answer
"...Is it seventy five point four-seven-four, Mr. Theorem?"
>Your teacher's eyes narrow, a scowl coming to his face as he looked over your math
>"...Yes, yes it is Anonymous," he grumbles, not sounding too happy that you freaking KILLED IT!
>WHOO!
>Who's the man?
>You were!
>Heck yeah you were!
>Your fellow classmates giggle as you do a little happy hop into the air
>Mr. Theorem just frowns more
>The grump better watch out with all of that frowning
>Aunt Luna said that if a pony frowned too much their faces would get stuck like that
>And your aunt knew what she was talking about since she was a princess and stuff and they knew everything
>...Though a frowny face seems to match Mr. Theorem to a T since he frowns all the time when he looks at you
>Not that you really care though since he's a jerk and a meany and big, smelly butt and stuff
>"Quit your dancing around at once, Anonymous, and come sit down. And I'll remind you that this is MATH class! If I catch you doodling again I promise you your mother will hear of it!"
>The smile that had found its way onto your face died as Mr. Theorem ripped out the picture of your dragon out of your notebook and crumpled it all up
>YOUR DRAGON!
>You spent like half an hour working on that!
>A series of thoughts flash through your mind, and though you're but a child (that didn't know any swear words since you mom was REALLY strict about ponies swearing around you) you couldn't help but mentally fling some poopy butts and dummy heads toward him
>You also kind of want to walk over there and bop him one in the nose but you knew mommy would give you a whoopin if you tired
>...Again...
>You clench your fist and grit your teeth but you manage not to lose your temper
>...Jerk...
>Grumbling to yourself you make your way back to your seat and sit down heavily as your JERK of a teacher once again starts to lecture
>It was going to take FOREVER to draw everything again...
>"Hey Anon!... Anon, over here!"
>You don't look up from your notebook as you reach for your pencil
"Yeah, Lyra?" you whisper-shout to the pony whisper-shouting right next to you
>You didn't know why she just didn't lean over if she wanted to talk to you about something but whatever
>Your friend wiggles happily in her seat with a quiet giggle
>"No, 'Nonny! You gotta look up! Didn't your mommy ever tell you that you gotta look a pony in the eyes when you're talking to them?"
>Your mom did, in fact, say something along that lines of that but you were a real OG straight from the underground (...whatever that meant) so you didn't listen to no rules
>...
>...
>...
>Urgh
>You were gonna have to look at her weren't you?
>...Well, if you get in trouble today at least you had someone to blame it on this time...
>Looking up from your notebook you see Lyra grinning at you excitedly
>...For some reason...
>"Anon! Anon! Look a this!"
>Opening her mouth wide the unicorn shows you that she's missing her two front teeth
>"Guess who's gonna get some bits from the tooth Breezie tonight!"
>Your eyes widened
>Lyra was going to have SO much candy money giving the tooth Breezie TWO teeth
>Lucky...
"You lost two teeth?" you asked in awe. "How did you lose two?"
>"I ran into a door this morning," Lyra answers, her little furry chest puffing out in pride.
>Wow...
>Maybe YOU needed to start running into doors...
>Who needed this stupid teeth anyway?
>You were about to open your mouth to say more when you heard a snort coming from your right
>"Hey! Will you two be quiet? I'm trying to learn something."
>Frowning once again you turn around and glare at Sweetie Drops, your other desk neighbor and evilest and most sworn enemy
>Who also had cooties and was the dummiest of dummy-heads
"You're trying to learn how to be a butt, that's what you're learning how to do..."
>The little earth pony mare looks up from her textbook to glare at you
>"Well, at least I'm not some dumb green weirdo," she snaps
>Hate fills your very soul as you had yourself a little staredown with your arch nemesis
>Your child's mind tries to think up of a word or a group of words to just throw at her
>Words so hurtful and so scorching and so lasting that the very name Sweetie Drops would be synonymous (momma taught you that word) with being a smelly, girly, butthead
>But alas you were still but a child, one who didn't understand the ways of the world and all of the ways that you could curse a pony out
>So you just glare and--
>"Anon and Bonnie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
>Both you and Sweetie look over at a grinning Lyra, matching scowls on your faces
>"...Lyra, if you don't be quiet I'm going to pinch you the whole time during recess," Sweetie growls. "And don't call me Bonbon... I hate that nickname..."
>You smile
"Don't you listen to her, Lyra. Call her Bonbon all you wan--"
 
>SMACK!
 
"Ow! Hey! I'mma tell on you!"
>"You could tell the teacher whatever you want, dummy brain!"
"Fart face!"
>"Smelly butt!"
"Booger head!"
>"Weirdo!"
>URRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
>HATE!
>HAAAAATTTTEEEEE!
>You're about to tear into Sweetie more when, out of the corner of your eye, you see Mr. Theorem glaring at you
>...
>...
>...
>No
>You'd didn't need to get into anymore trouble with your dumb teacher...
>You could call Sweetie names during recess...
>Scowling you sit in your seat proper and stare straight ahead at the chalkboard
>Stupid, Cootie-having Sweetie...
>You weren't a dummy brain...
>Nor were you a smelly butt...
>For the rest of the lesson and the next two classes after that you just sit there daydreaming and stewing over all that your most hated enemy had said
>But then the fifth period came
>Aka first recess
>The grand time
>The fabled time
>The time of milk and cookies
>Probably the best part of your day
>Though for most students recess was only forty five minutes you got double the time because after recess everyone usually had some kind of magic class
>And since you couldn't use magic in any form (for reasons not even you mommy knew), and since your teachers didn't want you getting into trouble you got DOUBLE RECESS
>Which was awesome
>Like the most awesomest thing in the whole wide world
>But, like every would-be paradise there was one major problem
>Sweetie Drops, just like you, couldn't go to any of the magic classes since she wasn't a unicorn and this was a school that had mostly unicorns
>So that meant she also had two periods of recess too
>With you
>And since her and Lyra were really the only ones that talked with you, and really your only friends for that matter (though Sweetie wasn't your friend AT ALL; more of a person that you tolerate because she was Lyra's best, best, best friend) she was really the only one who would play with you for the whole time
>Which wasn't good since you didn't like each other
>In fact you HATED each other with every fiber of your beings
>And that meant at least once or twice a week the two of you would end up in the head master's office because of fighting...
>Wherein after your momma would paddle you for being bad
>..
>...
>...
>But that wasn't going to happen today!
>You were going to just draw the hold time, maybe try to climb one of the many trees in the play area, and just relax!
>No going to the head master's office for YOU this week!
>You wait for the fourth period, a dumb history class that you never pay attention to, on the edge of your seat staring at the clock on the wall like it was the answer to all of your problems
>Which it was since it was going to tell you when you had recess
>Come on...
>Come on...
>Just ring already....
>Ring...
>RING!
>RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING--
 
RING!
 
>Oh thank mom!
>Not even giving your teacher a chance finish up her lesson you grab your notebook and sprint out the door, a great big smile on your face
>Aw yeah!
>Recess time!
>Like usual you're the first student out in the courtyard that functions as the recess area
>The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky
>Truly it was a perfect day to just lay around or play around or do whatever!
>Your smile widening you race over to the great big old oak tree in the center of the courtyard and sit down with a groan
>Reaching into your pocket you pull out the icing on your relaxation cake
>Mother
>Trucking
>Shredded Bubble gum
>Hastily ripping open the bag you grab it a bit-sized worth of gum and stick it under your lip
>Oh yeah...
>Daddy needed him some gum to suck on...
>You close your eyes and let the sugar sooth your weary soul as you open up your notebook and pull out your pencil
>Alright
>Time to get on drawing that dragon!
>...
>...
>...
>...Wait...
>Looking up from your notebook you look around
>By now Sweetie Drops would have wandered over here to yell at you or be a butt or something...
>...Did she get in trouble?
>Eh, whatever
>Drawin' time!
>Your first part of recess seems to end too soon, you finishing your dragon just as the teachers were calling the students to come back into the school
>Putting down your notebook you once again look around the courtyard
"...Where in the heck is she?" you mutter to yourself, getting up.
>Even if Sweetie would have gotten in trouble most teachers would let her out for the second part of her recess...
>Biting your lip you look around the courtyard, worry gripping you when you don't see hide or hair of Sweetie
>...And where in the heck was Lyra?
>Didn't she have second recess?
>Gripping your notebook tightly you make your way out of the courtyard and into the school proper
>The halls were empty and silent as you started making your way through then, a pip in your step and a frown on your face
>You needed to get some answers darnit!
>Where in the heck did those two go?!
>Did they find some neat place to play and not tell you about it?
>Ohhhh you bet that's what all of this is!
>Lyra must have found an abandoned room with a whole bunch of stuff and Sweetie made her promise not to tell you about it!
>Stupid, dummy-head...
>"--And what are you going to do about it, Mud horse?"
>"GIVE ME BACK MY DOLL YOU JERK!"
>You stop in the middle of the empty hallway
>...Mud horse?
>Wasn't that a really bad word?...
>"STOP PICKING ON SWEETIE YOU BIG MEANIES!"
>...Was that Lyra?
>An emotion that your young self couldn't identify settled in your stomach as you followed the sound of arguing and yelling into the next hall, here you saw Lyra and Sweetie, both of whom were surrounded by colts
>And not just any colts
>Your friend (and Sweetie) were surrounded by Prim and Proper and his little gang of bullies
>Prim, who's father your momma didn't like all that much, appeared to be holding something in his hoof
>On closer inspection you saw that it was the doll that your mom had made you give Sweetie on her birthday
>It was a pink little princess dolly
>Nothing all that special, but Sweetie never left her house without it
>In fact it was the of the only things that she brought to recess
>"YOU GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Sweetie growled, Lyra keeping her from lunging at the little jerk
>Prim sneered, holding the doll high up in the air with his magic
>"Why don't you make me you worth, magicless mud horse?"
>That funny feeling in your stomach grows the moment the bully and his friends laugh at a seething Sweetie
>"Stop calling Bonbon a mud horse!" Lyra demanded, her ears pinned back against her head. "She's not a mud horse!"
>"Yaha she is!" Prim countered with that same stupid smile on his face. "You're a stupid, dumb lower class mud horse that shouldn't even be in this school!"
>He looked back at his friends, who grinned cruelly back
>"You should be at regular school with all of the worthless, magicless feather brains and mud horses!"
>"Shut up before I put my hoof in your face!" Sweetie snarled, her whole body tensed to pounce
>Though they're still laughing at her the bullies take a few hasty steps backward
>Just like you Sweetie was a fighter, and with that earth pony strength of hers she could pack one heck of a punch
>You'd know
>Looking like she was about to have a panic attack, Lyra tried to pull Sweetie away
>"Come on, Bonbon, let's just go and tell on them," the mint green unicorn quietly advised
>"No!" Sweetie snarled, pushing her friend away. "That's my dolly, and I'm going to get my dolly! GIVE ME BACK MY DOLLY!!"
>Sweetie tried to charge Prim, but the colt, with a smirk, simply tossed the doll to another one of his friends
>"You want your dolly mud horse? Well go and get it!"
>For a moment Sweetie looks like she's just going to slug him, but then the colt with her doll yanked the doll's arm
>Sweetie's eyes widened when she heard stitches pop
>"DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY DOLLY!"
>She then tried to charge that colt, only for him to toss the doll away with a grin
>"What are you going to do about it, mud horse? Use your magic on us?"
>"Mud horse! Mud horse! Sweetie Drop's a mud horse!"
>Sweetie charged in all directions, hopping into the air each time the doll was tossed to try to catch it
>But the colts' magic was too controlled and they threw it too high, and with each missed grab the bullies taunts became louder and meaner
>"Hornless!"
>"Mud horse!"
>"Peasant!"
>"Dirt farmer!"
>Panting and with a wild look on her eyes Sweetie watched as the bullies tossed her doll around her head, stitches being popped with each toss
>She looked frustrated, then she looked lost about what to do in the situation, then...
>Well then Sweetie sad down and--
>Your heart leapt to your throat as Sweetie sat right down in the middle of that hallway, looked down at the ground, and sniffled
>"...I am NOT a mud horse," she said, so quietly that you had to strain to hear it over the bullies. "I'm not..."
>Looking in Sweetie's face you see the beginnings of tears forming in the corners of her eyes
>...
>...
>...
>Sweetie doesn't ...
>You've don't a whole bunch of stuff to her before and all she did was yell at you...
>She never CRIED...
>In fact you didn't think that Sweetie COULD cry...
>Your hand curled into a fist as Sweetie's body shook as she quietly sobbed
>That feeling in your stomach spread to your whole body and from the fringes of your vision you could see red
>Looking to your right you see that the classroom you were standing by was where Mr. Theorem taught
>Brow furrowing you walk over to the door and roughly throw it open
"--And as you can see if you divide this by... Was there something that you needed Anonymous?"
>Every single eye in the room turns to you but you ignore it, looking around the room until you found a chair that was empty
>"Anonymous, didn't you hear me?" Mr. Theorem demands as you walk over to the chair and pick it up. "What do you think you're doing barging into my classroom like this?! Anonymous!"
"I need to borrow this chair for a minute," you say calmly
>Mr. Theorem, who had been angrily making his way toward you. stopped when he saw the look on your face
"I'll bring this chair back in a minute or two."
>Not bothering to wait for an answer you walk out of the room and back into the hallway
>Turning the corner you still see the bullies tossing around Sweetie's doll, though it looked like they had ripped off one of its legs
>...
>...
>...
>Your vision gets that little bit redder as you put the chair down and pick it back up by the legs before striding over to Prim
>"Mud horse! Mud horse! Mud hors--
 
CRASH!
 
>The bully goes down with a pained cry as you swing the chair as hard as you could right at the back of his head
>There's a loud cracking sound and you think you see blood as Prim skids across the marble ground, but you're too angry to care
>Breathing heavily you toss the chair to the ground and look around
>The bullies, Sweetie and Lyra, even some of the students that had poked their heads out of Mr. theorem's math class looked at you with wide eyes and mouths agape as you look around
>You can hear Prim crying/yelling in pain as you walked over and snatched the doll out of the air
"You all messed up," you say, walking over and giving a teary-eyed Sweetie her doll before turning around and rolling up your sleeves.
"You all messed up big time."
 
~---~
 
>"Are you sure that you don't want to sit down "Nonny?"
>You look over at Lyra, who was playing with a ball, and shake your head
"I think I'm gonna stand for a while, Lyra..."
>Your mint green friend looked at you knowingly
>"Did your momma beat your butt?"
"Yep."
>You got suspended
>In fact you, Lyra, AND Sweetie all got suspended
>It was a lot better than you thought you were gonna get but that still didn't mean mommy was happy about it
>In fact she was the exact opposite of happy
>After auntie Luna brought you home school and the doctors fixed you up (you had three teeth knocked out and one heck of a black eye after fighting all of those bullies) momma had spent the next THREE hours yelling at you
>A prince doesn't hit ponies with chairs...
>A prince doesn't beat on ponies until they cry like little filles
>You should have said something to one of the teachers...
>You were grounded until you were a hundred...
>The whole song and dance...
>...
>...
>...
>And then she had hugged you and told you that she was proud that you had stood up for your friends
>Which, even thinking about it now, kinda made all of that yelling unnecessary
>If you did a good thing then why were you getting yelled at for it?
>You only hit Prim with a chair!
>His head will grow back eventually and get all fixed up and stuff...
>And you didn't beat up the other bullies that much...
>When you had told your momma such THAT was when she had pulled the paddle out
>And boy did she beat your bottom
>She beat your butt so hard that you were probably going to be walking funny for the rest of your life
>...But it wasn't all bad
>You didn't have to go to school for the next couple of days
>And your momma let Lyra come over so the two of you could play and--
>"Oh THERE'S the big hero!"
>Before you can even turn around someone scoops you up into a hug
>You try to wiggle out of the mare (by her laughing you could tell that she was a mare) but she's too strong
>"Saving my little Bonnie from all of those big, bad bullies! You're such a gallant little--"
>"MOM! Put the weirdo down... you don't know where he's been..."
>The mare holding you in her death grip chuckles before releasing you
>Because you just had the life squeezed out of you you kind of just slumped onto the ground
>Right on your mother trucking butt
>...
>...
>...
>...Ow...
>"Oh don't be silly, Bonnie," Caramel Strudel, Sweetie's mom teased, waving Sweetie over
>You just kind of lay on the ground trying to get the air back into your lungs
>Boy oh BOY did that mare have one heck of a hug...
>...Your butt hurts...
>Caramel smiles warmly down at you before looking to your left
>"Alright Bonnie, why don't you play with your friends while momma goes over and chats with the princesses and Lyra's momma, hmm?"
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Sweetie walking toward you
>Just like you it looked like a doctor had fixed her up
>She didn't have that black eye on her face that she had gotten on of the bullies and...
"Oh, did you fix Sweetie's doll, Mrs. Strudel?" you asked the second that you saw Sweetie's doll, which looked as good as new
>Mrs. Strudel lets out this weird chuckle before leaning down and nuzzling you
>"Oh always thinking about my little Bonbon," she cooed, her smile widening as you tried to push her away. "Oh it's just like when me and Sugar Glaze were kids..."
>You tried to ask when the heck she meant about that but she walked away
>...
>...
>...
>Adults were weird
>"Bonnie!" Lyra said with a happy wiggle, bounding over and wrapping her friend in a hug. "Did you momma beat your butt too?"
>Though she had her usual frown on her face Sweetie returned the hug
>"No my momma didn't beat my butt, Lyra," she said, looking over at you. "Wait... Did Anon's momma beat his butt?"
>With a giggle Lyra nodded
>"Yep! She beat his butt so hard that he doesn't want to sit down!" she cheerfully replied
>Sweetie snorted in amusement, walking over and sitting by your side
>"Get up," she said, kicking your side. "I wanna tell you something..."
"I don't wanna get up."
>"...Get up or I'm gonna roll you over and sit on your butt until you cry."
>...And she'd do it too...
>A frown coming to your face you sit up, wincing in pain
>...Boy does your butt hurt...
"So what do you--"
>Sweetie leaps forward, wrapping her hooves around your neck
>You stiffen in surprise as she nuzzles her cheek against the side of your head
>"Thank you," she whispers
>Before you could even move your mouth you feel a pair of lips press against your cheek
>"Istillthinkgyou'reabuttthoughyoudummy!"
>Now blushing, Sweetie darts away from you as you sit there confused
>"Bonbon kissed Nonny!" Lyra, who had been watching the whole scene in front of her with a smile, yelled. "Bonnie kissed Nonny!"
>"S-Shut up Lyra! A-And stop calling me Bonbon!"
>Giggling the mint green unicorn dashes off for Sweetie
>"Anon and Sweetie sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"
>"If you don't shut up I'm gonna hit you, Lyra!"
>From across the courtyard you could hear your momma and Mrs. Strudel and Lyra's momma awing and though you don't know why you feel yourself blushing
"...Stupid Bonbon," you grumble, rubbing your cheek. "Mother trucking, apple bucking Bonbon..."
