Title:           Pinkie VS. Anon: Window Painting Edition 2K16
Author:          Jay_Tea
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/tDvce8bk
First Edit:      Friday 19th of August 2016 11:11:11 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 22nd of August 2016 06:55:32 PM CDT

>Be Anon
>Also be hanging out in Sugar Cube Corner with your favorite horse friend.
>Pinkie is stuffing her face, while somehow still managing to talk coherently.
>”So I said to Twilight ‘We need to throw a super-duper HUGE party for Nonny! He just came here from a WHOLE ‘NOTHER UNIVERSE!”
“Ponks, I know. I was there you silly goose.”
>She stops for a moment, and her face flushes.
>”Oh yeah…”
“Heh, it’s OK, Pinkie.” You console her and grab a cupcake.
>She puts her head in her hooves and sighs.
>If there’s one thing you learned, it’s that a bored Pinkie is a dangerous one.
>But it also means that something big is about to go down.
>Suddenly she pops up and sneers at you.
>”What if we had our own ‘Iron Pony’ competition!”
>You look at Pinkie, very critical of this new idea.
“Ponks, you know neither of us are too athletic. Besides, I’m not a pony. How can I compete in an Iron Pony competition?”
>She scoffs at you. “Silly Nonny, I know you’re lazy! I was thinking a more, “us” kind of competition!”
>Your interest is piqued
“I’m listening…”
>She bends down underneath the table and reappears with two buckets of paint. One is green and labled ‘Anon’, the other pink, marked ‘Pinkie’.
>” You and me, inside Twilights castle. We paint all the windows green and pink, you paint green and I paint pink. We tally at- “
>She whips out a Cowboy hat.
>” High Noon.”
>The hat comes off.
“And the side with more windows wins?”
> “Exactly!”
>You check your watch, and it reads 9 o’clock.
“But what if we get caught?”
>Then you’re disqualified! And also probably forced to scrape all the paint off the windows.”
>You contemplate on your decision.
>On one hand it sounded awesome and fun, but on the other, you didn’t really want to get on Twilight’s bad side.
>After all, she brought you here, and you didn’t want to find out where she could transport you to if she was angry with you.
“You’re on Pinks!”
>”Great! ReadysetGO!”
>She zips off, grabbing her can of paint and booking it out the door.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” You shout after her while grabbing your own paint and running after her.
>But despite your feelings on her head start, you can feel a wide grin split your face
 
 
~~
HOUR 1: 9:00
ANON-0 WINDOWS
PINKIE- 0 WINDOWS
~~
 
>As you finally arrive at twilight’s castle, you see Pinkie across the road.
>You chuckle, she’s buying ice cream.
>That mare couldn’t stay focused if her life depended on it.
>However, that’s not your problem now, and you decide you can take vengeance for her early start
>You slip into the castle and wonder where to start
>You decide to start from the top down, so that you’re less likely to be caught.
>Plus, you can hit all the windows on the spiral staircase while climbing
>Right as you’ve decided that you had the best plan of action, Twilight enters the room, and sees you immediately
>Panicking, you hide the can of green paint behind your back.
>”Hi, Anon! What brings you to my castle?”
“Oh, y’know, just some… stuff.”
>Twilight doesn’t seem impressed at your answer, and for good reason. The pasta flooding from your pockets looks like it has no intention of stopping.
>And to make matters worse, you see a certain pink horse slinking her way past you and Twilight
>Pinkie gives you a wink and a giggle, and bolts off.
>You curse under your breath as Twilight goes on about her day, and her favorite books, and other garbage you couldn’t give a flying fuck about.
>After about ten minutes you excuse yourself, telling her you need to use a restroom
>Fuck, you lost so much time to Twilight, you make a mental note to bug her the next time she has something to do.
>For now you storm to the staircase and begin your ascent, but then you stop and groan in anguish.
>All along the stair case every window you see is painted pink.
“Damnit!”
>In response you hear a shrill voice shout back down at you.
> “Sorry Nonny, you’re too slow!”
>Fuck her, now you can’t use your first plan. You’re forced to reconsider, and think for a couple seconds.
>If you go moderately far up the castle you can cut her off as she makes her way down.
>It’s a brilliant plan, you commend to yourself as you make your way up the staircase, trying not to look at all the windows you missed out on because of book horse.
 
>As you arrive at what you guess is about the halfway point up the castle, you step out of the stairway, and immediately duck behind cover.
>Guards line up and down the corridor, there’s no way you can hit these hallway windows without alerting these guards.
>But look at them all… a cornucopia of unpainted, glorious, virgin windows!
>Unless…
 
>You’re tense, there’s no way this will work.
>But desperate times and all that, you know Pinkie already has a lead, and this is your only chance to bring it back.
>You take a deep breath, and take an air of superiority, and make very prissy and judging scoffs.
“No no no, this simply will not do!”
>Your plan was simple: pose as a remodeler, marking spots you find distasteful for renovations.
>You hope the guards won’t notice that all those spots happened to be windows.
>A guard looks at you down his nose. “Who are you? State your business here or leave.”
>You fake an insulted gasp.
“Who am I?! Why, I’m Anonymous! A very renowned interior decorator! And you, sir, are in my light.”
>He doesn’t look wholly convinced. “Well I’ve never heard of you…”
>For once you’re happy you’ve been hanging around with Rarity, you picked up some of her demeanor and applied it here.
“Why, the nerve! Actually, I’m not surprised. A ruffian and a brute like you would have no taste in interior decoration, and undoubtedly cannot possibly attain anything remotely close to what MY vision is.”
>He doesn’t appreciate your tone, but it looks like you’ve fooled him.
>You’re lucky Twilight hasn’t filled in the guards on what the alien was doing nowadays, or he would’ve seen right through your charade.
>”Well what are you doing here then?”
“The princess herself has requested that I mark all… undesirable spots to be remodeled. That is my purpose, now let me get to my art.”
>He grunts and goes back to not paying attention.
>Yes! You’ve done it!
>It takes a good amount of time, but eventually you’ve covered every window in the corridor, and some more in the rooms on the floor.
>You decide to move onto another floor for some fresh canvas.
 
~~
HOUR 2: 10:00
PINKIE: 123 WINDOWS
ANON: 98 WINDOWS
~~
 
>Be Pinkie.
>Also be kicking Nonny’s little alien rump.
>You’re super DUPER excited to find out who wins!
>Although you know it’ll be you. You ARE the greatest prankster in ponyville, anyways.
>As you bounce your way into the next floor you’re stopped dead in your tracks.
>Green. Green windows, all along the corridor.
>The most perplexing part, is that there’s a guard standing there. He doesn’t even seem to NOTICE!
>You hop over to the guard and greet him.
“Heya! So… what’s with all these windows, Mr. Guard Pony?”
>He glances over at you for a second, then returns back to his post.
>”Some stuck up remodeler from canterlot marked some spots to be redone. He really does dislike the windows apparently…”
>Nonny, you clever girl…
“Alrighty… See ya then!”
>The guard gives another grunt, and you zip down the stairs to the next floor, only to find that one filled with green paint as well!
>Anon was making better progress than you thought, and that worried you.
>You decide to pull some tricks out of your metaphorical hat.
>You bounce on down to go speak to Twilight.
 
>Be Anon.
>You smile to yourself as you hear Pinkie shout in anguish.
>She must have found your handywork.
>But you can’t stop now, you need to cement what you assume is a lead.
>About ten minutes later, you finish this floor and turn to the stairwell to continue to the next.
>In the stairway you see Twilight, in shock at the sight of her windows vandalized.
>You duck behind some pillars and pray she hasn’t noticed you yet.
>”Anon? Is that you?”
>DAMN YOU WHATEVER DIETY DICTATES HORSE VISION!
>You need to think quickly! Looking around, there’s no place to ditch the paint can.
>Except for…
>You shove the paint can in the back of your pants, hoping that either the can stays upright, or that your undies at least catch the paint and stop it from being visible.
>Momentarily you panic, as you feel the can tip and go sideways, but upon inspecting your trousers, at least your underwear did its job.
>You step out from behind the pillar and face Twilight. Time for some more smooth talking.
“Oh hey Twi! Nice to see you again! Interesting thing you’re doing here with the windows, can’t say I’m really a fan though…”
>She’s visibly upset. If she catches you, not only will you be disqualified, but she’ll probably be really mad at you, and you don’t want the strongest horse wizard in all the land pissed.
> “I didn’t do this Anon, and I think you know that just as well as I do.”
“Well who did then? Did you hire a redecorator?”
>She’s getting more upset by the second. Your goose isn’t cooked; your goose is vaporized inside of a super-nova.
> “Somepony broke into the castle, and is vandalizing most of my windows.”
>You grin and give a chuckle.
“Gee, with all the guards hanging around, you’d think they’d catch this guy. Dock their pay, that’s what I’d do.”
>She thinks, and then snaps out of “Angry Bookhorse Mode” and into “Princess of Friendship” mode.
> “That’s a great idea Anon! I think the guards have been slacking lately, and a slap in the hoof might kick ‘em into gear! Y’know, at first, I thought it was you doing the painting, but you seem real relaxed. Talk to you later, Anon!”
>She walks away, contemplating how much the guards should be docked.
>You give a small cheer, and extract the paint can from your now green underwear.
>That’s gross man. But you gotta win.
>You continue to finish this hallway and move onto the next.
 
~~
HOUR 3 - 11:00
PINKIE- 204 WINDOWS
ANON- 210 WINDOWS
~~