Title:           Fegelein vs Celestia
Author:          HumanSuperiority
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/cUJ38bh0
First Edit:      Tuesday 8th of September 2015 12:39:34 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Wednesday 9th of September 2015 01:56:30 AM CDT

>be Fegelein
>be unsung hero of WWII
>"sir we are in position, what are your orders?"
"hold here, now it is time for the next phase of the plan"
>your faithful troops give you a parting salute and watch as you walk towards the Celestial forces
>as you walk you fix up your uniform and make yourself presentable, making sure your badges and patches are clean.
>especially the medal that was given to you on your knighting and integration to Celestias Royal guard.
"its time to do what i do best..."
>you reach the ponies in a decent time
>"Sir Fegelein! what have you found?"
"nothing of note, but I must speak to celestia"
>"right this way"
>you are led to the largest tent cleverly hidden in the center of her forces and marked by a large sun taking up the top
>truly she is a master of camouflage
"im sure i can find my way from here soldier, i thank you for bringing me this far"
>"no problem sir, ill return to my po--"
"negative, take the rest of the day off, you earned rest."
>"s-sir?"
"i over heard a few guards talk of pudding in the mess tent tell them you can have my share"
>"thank you sir"
>you walk into the tent and see a map laid out across it, showing the path Celestia wished to continue marching.
>this is too easy
>you remove a copy of the map from your uniform and place it down on the large table
>the only differences in the two maps are very minor terrain changes and Oasis that somehow magically will not be there.
>Celestia is sleeping in the corner of the room with her alarm clock on her desk by her side
"what a nice clock"
 
>be the clock
>be inanimate object
>you love your job
>you wake up ponies from a nice sleep with a loud ringing
>only thing better than that is when you dont wake them
>get picked up off the table and have your back opened up with a mans fingers inside you
>oh my....
>be me again
>walk out of the tent and move towards the royal guard barracks
>your plans are going smoothly
>be approached by one of the sentries
>"Sir Fegelien, youre back! any news?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary, im just here for a quick inspection gather the guard immediately"
>"yes sir!"
>the guard runs into the tent and awakes his comrades with a loud "ATTENTION!"
>you walk into the tent soon after and the guards are in formation
"im here for a simple contraband inspection under orders of the princess herself, while im here i was also ordered to inform you to not enter her tent for the next 12 hours due to a small schedule change"
>they all respond with a clear "AYE SIR"
>as you expected you found nothing out of place, but that wasn't your intention anyway, although you did happen to see a dirty magazine or two it was nothing to be upset over.
"alright! time for a quick run! Sergeant, lead them out to the edge of camp and run them from one side to the other. if they are sloppy do it again"
>"AYE SIR! You heard him you little fillies get your ass' in gear!"
>you follow them out of the tent for a short distance.
>you see one dejected looking and pudding-less pony marching with the others.
>its time to make my next move
 
>its two hours later
>you have been hard at work using all of your tactical genius and antic mastery
>you have replaced all the arrow heads in the weapons tent with blunted heads
>in the guard barracks you left a small layer of glue on each of the pillows while they were out on a run
>in the food supply you...
>...
>lets not talk about that one
>tomorrow you strike, and the princess wont know what hit her.
>its time.
>the sun was supposed to have risen three hours ago, and the march should have started.
>it hasnt
>you make your way to the edge of camp and wait.
>in the distance you hear a loud voice boom
>"FEGELEIN!!!"
>the big ball of fire rises
>but now is not the time for fear
>that comes later, and for Celestia, not you.
 
>be Sun-butt
>wake up hours late
"son of a brony, why didnt my alarm go off?"
>your magic slowly lifts the clock over to you where you see the time.
>you are three hours behind schedule!
>before you may take your revenge on the clock the back of it falls off, and a small picture falls to the floor.
>you pick it up and see his face.
>autographed of course
>with a small note on it saying "sleep well?"
>damn him.
"FEGELEIN!"
 
>raising the sun was a bit harder than normal for you today.
>probably because something wasnt right with the food this morning, it was easily the worst breakfast you ever had
>no time for that now
>you return to your tent and grab your map
>the one you were supposed to be memorizing last night
>oh well no time like the present time to begin the move
>within a hour or two camp has been packed up and you start the march
 
>fast forward 2 weeks
>morale is at a all time low.
>there is a major water shortage, none of the spots on the map seem to be here, they must have been sucked dry by the heat or other forces
>whats worse is your troops keep waking up with their faces stuck to the pillows
>and the food was getting so bad you had to abandon most of it.
>war is hell
 
>be Fegelein
>be following Celestia with your troops
>have ample water and food
>your troops are well rested and supplied
>its time.
 
>with a simple hand signal your forces charge from the mountainsides
>knowing where they would be marching gave you the opportunity to set up ambushes
>informing the troops that their ranged units have been neutralized gave them a range advantage
>hearing your name being screamed in anger weeks ago still had a lingering morale bonus
>your forces were rested
>they were numerous
>they had high morale and good supplies
>your victory is assured
>even with the magic and flight advantage of celestia and her troops she was beaten before it began.
>morale and tactics wins wars and your name was remembered this time. this time you would get a place in history.
 
END