Title:           Opt.2: Welp, Free Is Free, by Anon
Author:          FrankHogs555
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/XXPHEzWd
First Edit:      Monday 3rd of February 2014 04:47:58 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 3rd of February 2014 04:47:58 AM CDT

Anonymous  01/30/14(Thu)22:44 UTC-5 No.16007616Replies: >>16007690
"Option 2 it is. Crunchatize me, cap'n!"
>Nothing
>Wow bro the nothing you predicted was gonna happen is happening?
>Click 'return' and lean back in my chair
>Ding Dong
>Fuckin A'...probably the GodSquad.
"NOT INTERESTED, BROHAM"
>A sound persists but it is'nt knocking
"FUCK ON TOAST,..right as I'm about to fap."
>Look out window to see a White Cadillac CTS with some weird rainbowy flames on the hood, peel out and seemingly..de-materialize?
>Run to front door and try to comprehend what the-, *TRIP*[c u next fall]
"HA! SWEET, THIS MUST BE THAT..thing, I don't recall ordering."
>Box has no markings of any kind
"WELL, free is free. Feels sort of..uneven, whatever in he-, SHIT, YEP SOMETHING MOVED INSIDE, SOMETHING ALIVE IS IN THERE"
>Fall back on my ass over the threshold into my frontdoor walkway
>I'm hearing 'pop goes the weasel' while whatevers in the box begins to work it's way out the top.
>Box top bursts open and right there on my porch is none other than Trixie.
"JESUS H CHRISTMAS ON A CRACKER!!
>"HUH?! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRI-mmpgh!!"
>Jump ontop of box so it closes
"I'M SO SO SORRY UM, JUST A SECOND, LET ME BRING YOU INSIDE."
>Summon strength and agility of a thousand Naruto's and book it to my room holding box
>Her head pokes out halfway down the hall
>"WHERE AM I-, WHO ARE YOU, ANSWER TRIXIE NOW!"
>Make into my room and lock the door
>Trixie, hearing the audible locking bursts from her cardboard prison and takes a defensive stance
"TELL TRIXIE WHERE SHE IS AT OR I PROMISE IF YOU'VE A REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN I WILL DISABLE IT IN A MOST PAINFUL MANNER!"
>Kind of a specific threat to hurl at someone you did'nt know but..hey
"..I uh..sort of, wished you here."
>Her look of anger slowly morphs into one of disbelief and she walks toward me
"THEN WISH TRIXIE BACK, IDIOT!"
 
I'm my own worst critic, but let me have it.