Title: (AiE) A Hole In Lyler Author: FlutterPriest Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/CwSgC4jD First Edit: Monday 24th of August 2015 11:31:02 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Monday 21st of March 2016 07:09:55 PM CDT This is a Lyler Homage to A Hole in One by anonpencil - http://pastebin.com/y3KrfJp5 - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/273279/a-hole-in-one   prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/245069/4/the-lyler-archive/a-hole-in-lyler ------------- >As the sun gently rises over the horizon of Ponyville, it's rays batters your eyes and forces you out of your slumber. >With a blink, you smile and stretch in your own bed. >Today, you don't have to do a damn thing. >Thank. God. >But, you already know, the first thing you want to do. >Go back to sleep. >Except, there's one problem. >This side of the bed is too warm. >Turning over, you find yourself nose to nose with a lime-green mare. >Wat. >"HI ANERN" >Your eyes shoot open. >This was not how your day should have started. >A part of you wants to believe you are dreaming. >Except, Lyler lying next to you is not the same as a sexy changeling queen. "WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE." >"IT NICE HERE" >You stare at her. >She stares back at you with a dumbfounded smile. "Why are you in my bed?" you ask, this being the most pressing question on your mind, for some reason. >"I HAVE SECRIT" >Oh god. >Oh god. >What the fuck could this horse be keeping secret? >If she openly announces that she shits on the ground, what could she hide? >Well, then again, most ponies shit on the ground. >It's complicated. >This is Lyler we are talking about here. >She's a fucking special case. "W-what's your secret?" you ask, unsure if you truly want to know the answer. >Her eyes widen as a smile curls at the edges of her lips. >The expression doesn't settle your concerns. >In fact, if your concerns were a pit of snakes, they just added spikes at the bottom, and there's a strange tall man with a gun poking you in the back. >At least, you hope it's a gun. >Bleeding out might not be as bad as- >"i want to make the baby with you, anun," Lyler whispers. "Wait, Wha-" >"LETS HAVE BABIES ANERN" she screeches, leaping to her hooves. "WOOAH! HOLD-" >Without another word, Lyler swings her hoof into the air and smashes it down on your man-meat. >A surge of electricity courses through every nerve in your body as your curl into a ball. >Your face contorts and a whimper leaves your mouth. >"WE MAKE LEG BABY!" >Lyler batters at your arms, which are desperately trying to protect your family jewels as you desperately try to roll away from her. >As you roll off the bed, your nose collides with your wooden floor, and a spray of blood shoots down your lips and neck. "AUGH! FUCK!" you sputter, pushing blood out of your mouth. >The green unicorn hops off the bed and stares at you curiously, flicking her tail and twitching her ears. >"WHY YOU LIE DOWN? U NO HAVE GURL PART!" she bellows. >Her head turns one way, then another. >Then Lyler's eyes light up again. >With a single, hard kick, her hoof lines up with your side, and you roll over out of instinct, trying to protect your new bruise. >"BETTER! BABY MINE NOW!" >Lyler's assault on your Rod of Ages continues, each hit seeming to make her more and more distressed. >Breathing becomes difficult as your try to push her hooves away, but 4 limbs isn't match for two. >When you try to raise your legs, even more constriction is placed on your sensitive dice bag, shooting more pain through your fragile frame. >"WHY IT NOT STIFFIE?" she screams. "Please, stop," you beg. >She looks at you. >"OH! DO YOU WANT TO GIVE THE LICKIES?" >You look at her in horror as she smiles at you dearly, clearly excited by the aspect of 'the lickies'. >What the F- >Instantly, you find your mouth filled with pony ass. >Which, normally would be a great thing. >Except, this is Lyler we are talking about. >She violently rubs her butthole on your lips in some attempt to be sexy. >You expected the putrid, violent stench of molded over vegetables, like when you helped clean Princess Twilight's kitchen after Spike was on vacation for a week. >In your head, you expected that at any moment a spray of milk chocolate, imported from the toilet bowl, would cleanse your palate of any worldly innocence you had left in your sorry life. >Except, it didn't happen. >In fact, was that... perfume? >You open your eyes, grab her marshmellowy pony flank, and push her flank up to get a good look. >Surprisingly, she's perfectly bleached her pony-ponut and it seems that it's pretty damn well taken care of. >Even her mare parts don't seem to smell like a sickening combination of maggots, blood, and last week's baked bads. >It's like... she took care of herself for today. "Lyler, did you clean yourself?" >"NO LYRA GOT THE FIREHOSE." "Oh." >Whatever. >It's not like you get any action around here. >Fuck it. >You never thought you'd say this, but let's lick Lyler's butthole. --- >Flutterpriest sits in his chair, looking at the line he just wrote. >He grabs his bottle of scotch, sighing to himself. "Fuck." --- >You lean in closely to Lyler's tight, flesh star and place your tongue on it. >It tastes clean, and surprisingly neutral. >Like skin. >As you trace the rim of the hole, you find her ass suddenly disappear from your hands. >It's quickly replaced by Lyler's face, with her tongue blopped out. >Then, a hoof enters your vision. >It's too quick for you to have any sort of reaction, as the hoof connects directly with her nose, and the back of your head connects with the wooden floor. >More blood sprays into the air as a splitting headache takes a hold of any train of thought that you had and runs it off the tracks. >Into a small country town's Gas Storage facility. >There were no survivors. "FUCK!" you scream so hard that it scrapes the back of your throat. >"IS THIS SEXY?" "NO!" >"KISS ME ANERN!" "WILL YOU STOP FUCKING HITTING ME IF I DO?" you say, just wanting this terrible, terrible experience to stop. >"ME WANT BABY NOW." "FUCKING FINE!" >You push your hand into Lyler's mane and press your lips firmly onto hers. >Guiding her tongue back into her mouth with yours, you intertwine your tongue with the tip of hers, but don't dare to venture too deep into her mouth. >She continues the kiss, somehow keeping up with your well-trained kissing skills. >Well-trained on a human. >That you totally kissed on Earth. >You swear. >It was the best day at grade school ever. >But, then your best friend forgot to say 'No Homo' and it got really weird. >Anyway. >You finally break the kiss, and lean back to examine the blood spattered face of Lyler, who stares down at you in shock. >Her eyes are wide, and staring directly into yours. >Lyler's expression softens, and she gently smiles, tears welling in her eyes. >You can't help but feel some sort of feeling well in your chest. >And you don't think it's a heart attack. >At least, you could dream... but you tend to take good care of yourself. >You smile back. >Carefully, you reach your hand up and wipe some of the blood off of her face. >You know, you never really realized how nice her eyes were. >They had a shade of gold that you've only ever seen in paintings and there was an innocence behind them that you didn't expect to see. "How was that?" you ask gently. >Lyler blushes and looks away from you, breaking eye contact. >Your hand gently pulls her back to lock eyes again. "Wanna do that again?" >Lyler nods like a shy little girl and you chuckle in response. >You bring your face closer to hers and she gently closes her eyes. >Heh. >You know. >When she's like this, you'd never think that she was this repulsive. >Your lips nearly connect, when you hear an abnormally loud grumble from Lyler's stomach. >She groans and her eyes clench shut as her body tightens in pain. >Her stance over you weakens as you watch her with concern. "Hey... hey. What's wrong?" you ask. >The groan comes again, louder than before as she collapses on top of you. >You sit up and look over her carefully. "Lyler? Are you okay? What should I do?" >With one last intense groan, Lyler curls into a ball on your lap as you pet her mane, feeling helpless. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. Tell me what's wrong. Let me help you." >Then, she stops. >She sits up happily like a dog, still in your lap and smiles widely, showing her yellowed teeth. >"BABY TIME." >Wat. >Before you can even register what she was going to say, her mouth opens, and a torrent of green, slippery slime pours out of her throat and onto your face and into your mouth. >Sound fills your ears, although you aren't actually sure it's there. >http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6714229 >You fall backwards slowly. >The muck overwhelms you as you can feel it collide into your eyeballs. >The vomit pierces into you badly bleeding and abused nose, filling your smell with her intestinal juices. >It runs down your throat as you can taste it's horrid acid on the way down. >All you can hear is the gurgling rush of fluids that makes your muscles cringe. >The slime makes your skin crawl and makes the rest of your body feel numb. >Lyler had, in a few short seconds, raped every one of your five senses. >Your head collides with the floor one more time as your head turns to the side, still being waterfalled by a projectile stream of juice. >Then, a massive -thud- connects with the side of your head, aggravating your already bad headache. >You hear something plop by the side of your head with a sickly squish. >Then, nothing. >The puke stops. >You open your eyes, wondering how in the world you could have this happen to you. >Where did you go wrong in life? >Was it all the times you kicked Fluttershy? >Was it all the times you re-arranged Twilight's library and blamed spike? >Or did God just hate you? >You turn your head again, just like you did when you woke up this morning. >Only, this time you were bleeding, covered in vomit and wanted to die. >Once again, just like this morning, a pair of golden eyes lock with yours. >Except. >This face, was human. >Your eyes opened wide as you took in the creature. >The upper half was human, and the lower half seemed to be just like Lyler. >A Pony. >You remember the name of these creatures from an old fantasy book you read. >Satyrs. >JESUS FUCK YOU CREATED AN ABOMINATION WITH LYLER. >"DADA!" it screams out loud. "No." >"I NAME HER HOOPIE!" "No no no." >"HOOPIE!" the little satyr says. >"NO NO NO NO!" >Hoopie opens her mouth with a wide smile and then forces a strong stream of green, thick slime at your chest. >It's much thinner and not as powerful as her mother's but it tells you two things. >1. She takes after her mother. >2. Oh my God you created a monster. >With a gentle thud of your chest, you aren't even surprised as something plops onto your chest and sits there silently, covered in green slime. >A baby cactus, in a small ceramic pot, rests on your chest. >"BOOMBOOM JUNIOR!" The mother and daughter call out in unison. >You rise to your feet, covered in blood, vomit, and what you think are your tears. >As you stand up, you feel the surging pain of a ravaged ballsack, which causes you to huddle over. "I'm done," you whimper. >You turn around, and head towards your bedroom door. >Step one: Leave this house. >Step two: Go to Ghastly Gorge. >Step three: Jump. >Step four: Atone for your sins. >"BUT ANERN!" Lyler calls to you as you leave. >You open the door to your bedroom and look to Lyler and Hoopie. >Hoopie is giggling intently as she repeatedly slaps her hand on prickly points of the cactus, and Lyler looks at you in pure dismay. >"HOW WILL I GET CHILD SUPPERT?" "Nope," you say simply, and walk out. >The stairs are difficult to descend, but you make your way down. >As you head towards your front door, you hear a gentle knock at the door. >You pay it absolutely no mind as you push it out towards the world, catching a certain purple dragon off guard. >The door swings open, knocking Spike into your prized rose bushes. >"Oooww!" >You ignore his yelp as you push west. >Just keep walking, Anon. >There's nothing left in this world. >Just keep walking. >You continue on into the morning sun, never to be seen in Ponyville again. >"Okay Anon! You got me! Now can you pull me out of these bushes?" Spike asks. >... >"Anon?" >"Anon. I think I'm stuck, and these thorns are digging into my scales." >... >"Anon? Twilight?" >... >"Maybe if I just shift a little- OWW ow ow." >"ANON! THIS REALLY HURTS!" >... >"Shoot. It think I'm bleeding."