Title:           30 Days of Sharkponies
Author:          Finsthegreen
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/5n6SzjQ2
First Edit:      Saturday 28th of February 2015 05:16:16 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Thursday 23rd of July 2015 03:27:26 PM CDT

>You are Anonymous.
>And you are stranded on a desert island.
>Well, 'stranded' isn't right.
>You were 'recommended' for a 'solitary vacation', that's what every pony will say back in the mainland.
>Due to your stellar success in being the most asinine, sarcastic, rage inducing faggot all across Ponyville and beyond, Princess Bookhorse managed to convince every other princess to banish the shit out of you.
>Yep, you managed to piss off the princess of friendship so hard, she had to send you away.
>Your chest puffs up with pride whenever you think about it.
>You don't hate the ponies, on the contrary, you enjoy the time spent with them.
>But they're so easy to anger, so prone to being corrupted... You can't help yourself.
>So here you are, sentenced to spend a whole thirty days alone in this spot of sand and grass just by some noname town in the west coast.
>To atone for your behavior and learn to appreciate the company of fellow sapient beings.
>Yeah, yeah, everypony was reading the sundamn sentence aloud the last day you spent in town.
>Still better than a thousand years, lifespan comparison and all.
>One Friendship Express, cart ride, and boat later, you're introduced to your designated home.
>The boat is almost impossible to see from where you are, having deployed you minutes ago, it bailed out fast.
>WIth a heavy sigh, you get a good grip on your suitcase and examine your surroundings.
>Despite being a confinement sentence, the ponies wouldn't just let you to your own devices, they're too nice for that.
>So you were allowed to pack up clothing and some utilities, like toothpaste and brush.
>Colgate's sneak move on you.
>There is a small patch of grass in the island, just big enough to feature a small wooden cabin, and a couple palm trees with a hammock between them.
>Really, the scene is begging to be plastered across the front of a postcard.
>Giggling, you get flashbacks of Earth, and some more... lax law systems.
>Equestria, yes.
>The sun is up high, and the back of your shirt is starting to itch, so you start walking towards the cabin.
>There's a single window, with a curtain covering it, and the interior is moderately cool when you enter.
>You check what few things there are: a small bed, an armchair, a realistically small wardrobe, a shower on the opposite side (how's that supposed to work?), and a small kitchen in the corner by the far end, with a neat little table and chair.
>There's even a fridge, wow.
>But no potty.
>No, wait. There it is.
>It's a cast iron pot, with a crude -horse- stickman drawn in the wall just above it.
>There's a shower that presumably works, but they couldn't be arsed for a proper toilet?
>Fuck these pony lies.
>Not bothering with unpacking your stuff yet, you dash for the fridge.
>It's full to the burst with cans of soup, cheese, juices of all the colors in the rainbow, and sweets, and a bit of veg too.
>Sentence, your ass. This is a paid vacation.
>You drop on the bed laughing. It feels decently comfortable.
>Well, since you just got here and being exiled is serious business, you might as well catch a nap.
 
>It's been a total of six hours since you got here.
>And you're already bored out of your mind.
>Fuck, you accounted for this when you packed, but Twilight confiscated every single thing of your choosing and replaced it with books.
>She even packed you a blank diary, in case you feel the urge to write something of your own.
>Likely story.
>Regardless, you've taken your nap, another short one in the hammock, and done a few laps around the comically small island.
>Turns out, despite being close enough to land to guarantee a ride on a small boat, it's far away enough to not allow you to see the actual continent from here.
>Some aspects of this punishment seem to be very well designed, while others are just, well, magic or equally unmeasurable bullshit.
>What's more, the sun is getting on your nerves. There's no place in the whole dot to avoid it.
>Even the cabin is cooking itself up inside.
>The feeling of how horribly depressing this might turn out is getting into you.
>Then it hits you.
>Why are you still letting Celestia's sun deep fry you in your clothes? You're in the middle of the ocean for fuck's sake!
>Without hesitation, you get in the shack, undress, and put on your bathing trunks.
>You're damn right you're gonna take advantage of this.
>Running like never before, you make a beeline for the water.
>Wait, are these waters safe?
>The last thing you would want is to be dragged down into the deep by the little fucking pony mermaid or something.
>Then again, the ponies let you bring swimming gear, so they must have taken this into account.
>Finally, you hit water.
>Damn that feels good.
>Gradually, you walk away from the coastline and submerge your whole body.
>Now this is sun protection.
>You swim around a bit, trying not to get too carried away by the current.
>Eh, it's not that strong. You can swim decently far without problem.
>You look back, the island looks absolutely ridiculous from a distance.
>You're about to laugh again, when something underwater passes by and touches your leg.
>Shit.
>Next, a curved fin rises from the water right in front of you.
>Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
>The fin is circling around you. You can see a black form underneath in the deep water.
>Just how far did you go, you maniac?
>Now you're gonna die the death all statistics laugh at.
>You probably can't outswim this thing, it moves very deftly.
>Well, you've lived a long... a prosperous... you've lived your life, that's what counts.
>Closing your eyes, you just wait for the pain to happen.
>And it doesn't come.
>Lazy ass bitch, what are you waiting for?
>"Hey."
>Huh?
>"What'cha doing with your eyes closed like that?"
>You open them eyes.
>Before you floats... a pony?
>Sun fucking dammit, did you just get tricked?
>The pony looks at you with a hint of a smug grin on her.
>She's definitely a her, too, although her voice could use some high tones.
>"And just what are you supposed to be?"
>She asks without relaxing the smile, and swims around you.
>Upon doing that, you get a better look at her body.
>She has legs, like a pony. A pony head with a pony mane. But also a dorsal fin.
>And gills.
>Where her tail should be, there's an extension of smooth skin that ends in a tail at least the size of her body.
>What.
>The.
>Fuck.
>You shake your head a bit and swallow. At least you're not dead yet, so let's try to stall it.
"I could ask you the same thing."
>The weird pony fish thing squints her eyes at you, looking slightly mad.
>"Well I'm a shark, didn't you know?"
>Shark, my ass!
>You're a reject from some fanfiction, that's what you are.
"I had no idea sharks around here were also ponies."
>"Hm? What do you mean? I'm a shark, and that's that" she doesn't let you raise an objection again. "Now you answer me. What are you?"
>She's swimming in circles again, it's very off putting.
"I'm a human. Doubt you've heard of it, we're pretty obscure."
>You shot her your best sympathetic grin to prove that you're not scared to death.
>The shark pony goes right in front of you with a short dash.
>FUCK! That was too fast.
>Your heart is skipping beats like mad as the creature takes a good look at your face and arms.
>Her eyes shine with a golden hue. It's kinda pretty, actually.
>"Yep, you're right. I've never heard of a 'joo man'" she moves back a little bit, and you allow yourself to breathe normally.
>"And what brings you here, joo man?"
>She's doing the circles thing again.
>No, fuck the circles, seriously.
>Time to man up before you die, or whatever this thing wants of you.
"Okay, first of all, its 'human'. Softer" her brow furrows. "Second, can you please stop circling me? It's very rude to try and hold a conversation like this."
>She stops immediately.
>"Oops! Sorry about that. Old habits, hehe" she flashes you a full grin. You kinda wish she hadn't done it.
>Her front teeth are akin to those of ponies, but as they progress towards the sides they become more and more jagged and pointy, just like a shark's.
>Fuck this, you should at least make an attempt to live.
>You keep talking to her while slowly swimming towards the coast.
"And third, I'm here on a... vacation, of sorts."
>"A vacation? That sounds great" another grin. And you thought you were the predator, good grief.
>"Are you going back to land?"
>Fuck, she catches up fast.
>You stop right there and try not to sink the spaghetti into the ocean.
"I... er, well..."
>She cocks her head and looks at you like you're mentally deficient.
>"That's alright, you know? I can walk on land as well."
>Well, that blows your last resort out of the water.
>Heh, one last pun for the jar.
>"Soo, we going?"
>Just what is the beef with this little shit? Is she gonna bite you already or not?
>You fix your face so you don't look like a retard in meditation, and face the shark pony.
"Listen, I don't feel like making the effort for nothing, so if you're gonna eat me, just get to it already."
>The mare blinks at you, then again. Her smile and optimism: gone.
>She then throws a very frustrated grimace at you.
>"What are you talking about? I just wanted to talk."
>Oh.
>Huh?
"Aren't you gonna come at me?"
>"Nah, I had plenty of food today" she rotates to show her tummy above water and taps it with her forelegs. Her tail splashes around. "Besides, I don't get the chance to talk with things from the surface that often... Well, more like never..."
>Daw, she's pouting a lil' bit now.
>Looking at her right, she's just like any other pony.
>Except she's half a shark.
>That actually makes it more interesting, y'know.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, I just... Let's get to the island first, okay?"
>The little shark looks at you, then beams a toothless smile.
>With sudden movements, she grabs your arm, and then pulls with all her might.
>Man, Christ, holy shit! She's a bullet in the water!
>She doesn't even seem to suffer from your added weight in the water, she's just pulling you to the island at top speed, her body swirling in and out of the sea.
>She looks pretty happy, to be honest.
>Face it, Anon, you're a racist. Sharks also have feelings, y'know?
>Soon enough, your feet step in sand again, a bit dazed from the top speed dragging.
>The cool water in your skin feels quite nice when the sun hits you again.
>What's more, you have a better chance of looking at the shark pony.
>Her coat is almost the color of deep sea water, somewhere between dark blue and a regal grey, while her mane works towards the turquoise end.
>The stripe that connects her lower back to the tail, as well as said tail, sport a much darker blue.
>She has a cutie mark, too. It's some sort of shell, a drab pink all over.
>She starts walking towards the center, where the palms and cabin are.
>"So this is where you're living?"
>You shake a little bit and go towards her.
"For the time being... hey, what's your name, by the way?"
>It just dawned on you that you were making contact with a creature you had never heard from without properly introducing each other.
>The shark pony turns around and smiles.
>"I'm Tidal Wave, but just Tidal is fine. What's yours?"
"Anonymous. But everyone calls me Anon."
>"Nice. So, what's going on the land these days?"
"Eh, I haven't been on this world too long, I couldn't say..."
>"Aah, that's fine, that's fine..." Tidal begins, raising a hoof, before slowly stopping. "Wait, what do you mean by 'this world'?"
>You sigh.
"Just sit here and I'll explain."
>While you let the evening sun dry your body, you sit in the grass and explain the shark how you ended up in Equestria.
>Long story short, Twilight played with fancy magics.
>Being the one of a kind creature you are in this world, the purple one insisted on having you stay for a while, reassuring you in that she could send you back anytime.
>Couple months later, she finds out she can't.
>panic.jpg
>And that's how you got stuck in horseland, dedicated to making a fool of whoever gave you a clear shot at it.
>Tidal listens, her mouth gasping every now and then, her eyes fixed in your face.
>When you finish, she shakes a hoof in the air, blowing air from her inflated cheeks.
>"Whew! And -I- thought I was fucked..." her comment catches you by surprise. You know ponies curse every now and then, and most of those times aren't even harsh words, but this cheeky bugger is taking far.
>It reminds you of home, in a way.
"Okay, I told you something, now you tell me something."
>"Well, what do you want to know?"
>She seems pretty open, let's begin with the basics.
"Where do you live? Is there an island of shark ponies or...?"
>She immediately points a hoof towards the horizon, to the right of where you're looking at.
>"There. A bit far and down into the ocean. There are a few cities, but all of them are close together" she won't stop smiling while she talks. You can't make anything out of it, but it's nice.
>At least you're alive, right?
"And how is it that I heard nothing about your kind in the mainland? What's your relationship with the ponies?"
>Now you've done it.
>She's biting her lip with her front teeth, the not sharp ones.
>"Well... we haven't met for a while..."
"How long, you say?"
>"Just... a lot, okay? I'm not sure if I can tell..." she looks legitimately concerned.
>You raise a hand and pet her mane, somewhat wet but not flat. She doesn't object.
"Nevermind then. I won't go asking questions."
>Anon, are you going soft?
>If this was some random land cruiser pony, you'd be all over their ovaries to make them mad.
>For some reason, you can't bring yourself to get bully with this one.
>Ah, fuck it, you need to keep yourself in check.
>You slide your hand towards Tidal's ear and give it a tug.
>She jerks back.
>"Oi! What that for!?"
"Sorry, it looked plush."
>You're about to flash her your trademark grin of not giving a fuck, when all of the sudden, she snaps a bite at you, real close.
"AH!"
>You rise from the ground, only to fall back on your ass.
>Tidal just stands there, with her teeth showing.
>She turns it into a cheeky smile.
>"Sorry. It looked edible" her voice is like cold steel, nothing personal or anything, but...
>Celestia Christ, nobody in Equestria ever got you back like that.
>You'd say the reaction was overblown, but know what? It's different from what you used to get, and that's something.
>Maybe your instincts were telling not to tug her for a reason. She might be a worthy opponent, this one.
>You haven't noticed, but the sun is starting to fall down, being replaced by the moon on perfect cue.
>In a matter of minutes, it's night.
>magic.mp4
>Tidal and you observe the whole process, watching the moon slowly arise.
>She's not moving a muscle; it's getting a bit weird.
>Finally, she turns to you.
>"I should go back home, before it gets too late" with that and a last grin, she runs towards the shore.
>You don't even try to say goodbye or anything, if she wanted one she would have waited, surely.
>You hear one last thing before she jumps gracefully in the water.
>"It's been fun, Anon! I'll be back tomorrow!"
>Splash.
>And she's gone.
>The fuck?
>You didn't even invite her, and she's already going to come back.
>Noticing how tired your body feels after the swimming, the stress and general horsefuckery, you head back to the cabin.
>You make use of the shower, and yep, it's regular, warm water.
>That's good, living thirty days off salt water showers isn't ideal.
>Once you're done, you put your regular clothes back on and lay on the bed.
>There isn't too much to do, so you think about shark ponies.
>How many are there?
>Do they eat fish? Well, probably, with those teeth.
>And why didn't you hear about them before?
>Heh, you could probably get more intel from Tidal tomorrow.
>If she comes, that is.
>Closing your eyes, you fall asleep quickly.
END OF DAY 1
 
DAY 2
>The sun illuminates your poor excuse of a shack; good morning, Anon, it says.
>The cheeky fucker.
>Despite being pretty much awakened seconds ago, your mind makes the connection quickly.
>For light to be this potent, it must be late into the day.
>Your rigorous training allows you to wake up just in time for the breakfast of champions: lunch.
>Slowly, clumsily, you get up.
>The cabin is fully lighted, despite the curtain.
>Damn sun and its unprecedented potency.
>Just as you're going to groan to nobody in particular, a sound startles you.
>The door.
>Somebody's knocking at the door.
>Your brain quickly recapitulates everything that transpired yesterday, feeding you images like slides in a virtual reality display.
>Shark ponies.
>The knocking comes back. There's a voice attached.
>"Oi! Anon! You there!?"
>Yep, that's Tidal's voice.
>You don't recall her saying exactly when she would visit you, so...
>Well, at least you can tell her off politely.
>You move towards the door and open it.
>Sure as water is wet, there's the little she-hybrid, her hoof raised and prepared to knock again.
>She reacts happily but not too excited when you appear.
>"There you are! Did you forget about me or what?"
"Ugh... How do I put this... I just woke up."
>You're not the most amiable person right after wake. And only slightly worse than during the rest of the day.
>But the rest of the day you do it consciously. During the 'morning' you can't control yourself, so you spew the words at Tidal like so.
>She takes a good look at your body, up and down, and snickers.
>The little monster.
>"Yeah, I see now. So, do I come later, or...?"
>You wave at her.
"Come in, I was going to eat."
>With these words that you don't exactly know where they come from, Tidal checks out your place as you make way to the fridge.
>"Nice home."
"Yeah... Ugh, there's only veggies, cheese, yogurt..."
>Stupid ponies.
>It's been months, but you will never be able to properly adjust to a vegetarian diet.
>The most you can get is some fish from Fluttershy and other providers, and even that is hard to get.
>Coming back from your thoughts, you notice Tidal is right next to you.
>She's checking the fridge like it's her business. She's scrunching, too. Nice.
>She then turns around and goes back to the semi open door.
>"I'll be back in a while. Don't eat anything yet" oddly smiling, she walks out.
>You're not sure of what she's going to do, but fuck it, you'll have a yogurt at least.
>You sit by the kitchen table and eat the delicious, but repetitive milk derivative.
>Just a few minutes later, Tidal comes back.
>Ponies got you used to not close the door, since nobody would want to steal from you, or even approach you for that matter.
>She's not talking, though.
>You look up, and gasp.
"Oh wow...!"
>She's holding three nearly dead, but clean fish in her smiling muzzle. They're small, but together they make for a decent amount.
"Did you really go out there and got me fish?"
>You're kind of baffled by this.
>She really acts like a land pony in that sense.
>Tidal drops the fish in the table. They squirm a bit but life's escaping them fast.
>"One for you. Two for me. I get hungry too" she says, lazily moving her tail around.
"Well, thanks."
>You pick up one of the fish and work it in the kitchen. You cut the head and open it, retrieving all the delicious fish meat.
>Soon, you have a small pan in a ridiculous fire, slowly cooking up the fish.
>You're not sure how it works, but the odds are on magic. You doubt there would be natural gas all the way here.
>Then again, the shower works.
>Tidal is ripping her food to shreds, eating flesh and skin a bit frantically, leaving only the head, spine and tail.
>You should have given her a napkin or something, the table is a mess.
>You toss her a couple and point at it.
>"Heh. Sorry" she apologizes and begins to clean the small wooden table.
>She finishes just in time for you to get the fish on a plate and put it on. She takes the trash in the water, being only kitchen paper and fish remains.
>Damn, this fish is alright.
>You really have to get in touch with the sharkpony.
"I appreciate this, Tidal. It gets hard when you can't eat meat in land."
>"No problem, I know what it is to be hungry."
"Do you eat something other than fish?"
>"Well... there are some algae that don't taste that bad. My mom used to make me eat them before the fish, heh, but I never got it like her."
>Algae... well, it's the closest thing to regular horse food they have down there.
>And they're half ponies, even if Tidal says she's just a shark.
>Either way, you approve of this development.
>After you eat and clean the plate -throwing the rests into the sea as well- you go back inside. Tidal is using the armchair real nice.
"What did you have in mind when you decided to visit me again?"
>You're not the most interesting partner, you will admit.
>She shrugs, not leaving the comfy zone.
>"I guess I just like to come up here more than other sharks... And it's the first time I get to talk with someone from the surface" she tells it like it is.
"Well, what do you have in mind now?"
>Another shrug.
>Well fuck, you might as well go back to bed.
>"Oi! Don't go back to bed!"
"What? I don't have anything better to do, it's my vacation."
>You're not sure of why you're lying to this little sea creature.
>Are you actually embarrassed of being exiled?
>Maybe some part of you still doesn't want to blow your chances of getting to know the mystical underwater races that populate this world.
>You pansy.
>"Oh, come on, let's go into the water or something..."
>She's fighting for it.
>You sit on the bedside regardless.
"Are you crazy? I just ate."
>The way she's looking at you now gets you mad.
>Then you realize, she lives underwater.
>Facepalming, you explain to her the risks that bathing under the sun and/or after eating have on someone like you.
>She listens with a serious face, but as soon as  you finish, she takes the piss out of you with no control whatsoever.
>"That's gotta be the most ridiculous thing I've heard! Your body is terrible, Anon!"
>This again. Don't let her get cheeky with you, man.
"Whatever. I'm not going out yet, so have fun waiting."
>That wasn't too hard, right? If it was, she had it coming anyway.
>Serves her right for visiting so early.
>Tidal puffs her cheeks and narrows her eyes, then turns around.
>"Fine! I'll be back later" she storms off without giving you a chance to respond.
>What's wrong with her?
>Nevermind that, you've been awake for too long already.
>ZZZ
 
>BONK
"Pfffft... Wha-!?"
>Something just woke you up, something rude.
>Your brain starts up in emergency mode, looking for blue ponies of fishy tail.
>There she is, grinning like a true psycho.
>You almost forgot how scary those teeth look, it's like a bent saw with the front filed off.
>"You sleep a lot" Tidal says, not relaxing the smile.
"Y-YOU TOO."
>You really need to stop panicking. She's looking at you funny now.
>Wait, she's got something under her hoof.
>It's... a ball?
>It looks more like a bunch of algae rolled up. Gross.
"What's that?"
>Hmm... ? Oh! I brought this to play with!" she answers, excited. "Not to brag, but I'm the best in my town at tailball."
"Tail... ball...?"
>You need to ask about that before anything else.
>"It's simple! Two teams of eleven have to pass the ball around with hooves, head and tail, and try to score on a raised net! But you can only score with your tail."
>Pffffhahaa.
>So it's literally shark football. Adorable.
"Okay, so do you want to play?"
>"Yeah! No offense, but you look a bit too skinny, like you haven't eaten or done too much sport."
>Bitch, if you meant no offense, you wouldn't be grinning like that.
>You get up from your bed, determined.
"Okay then, I'm gonna show you how wrong you are."
>The little sharkpony beams with joy, jumping and trotting out of the cabin while kicking the ball with her legs.
>She's pretty jovial, it's making you twitchy, but also happy somehow.
>Fucking sharks man.
>Outside, the sun is as painfully strong as you remember it.
>Celestia, you cake chomping sow.
>You and the shark determine the goals to be the palm trees, and two random spots in the sandy edge of the island, appointed by some particularly big shells.
>Tidal picked the shells in no time. Makes you wonder how long does it take to get to the bottom of the ocean, and how does pressure affect bodies here.
>Once everything is done, Tidal adopts a more fierce posture, the ball between her front legs.
>You just now realize you're still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Simple shirt and travel shorts. Comfy, and easy to wear.
>Eh, they're due for a cleaning. Now that you think about it, how are you going to clean them?
>Oops, she's starting.
>You spend a good while getting feisty with the shark, who to your surprise, moves pretty well above the water too.
>In no time, she scores a couple of goals and gloats to no end.
>"It's okay. I said I was the best. Nothing personal, ey?"
>Fffffffuck.
>You give it your all after resting.
>Your all is pathetically little, by the way.
>You can't hold the ball for shit, she takes it from you with her waist high body and waggly ass tail.
>The final score is 16-0. You lay on the grass, defeated.
>"Hahaa! That was fun!"
>Shut uuuuuup, baaaw.
"Y-Yeah. I guess I do need some exercise..."
>You're glad no other ponies or else saw you today. You didn't participate in sports in Equestria for a reason, sundammit.
>Tidal comes around and rests her booty near your frail body.
>She pats your head.
>"There, there..."
>All the salt in the ocean is nothing compared to you right now.
>None of you say anything for a while after that.
>There are so many things you don't understand about this.
>Well, you got served, so no shame in asking.
"Can I ask you something?"
>"Sure."
"How come you can spend the whole day here? Don't you have a job or something?"
>"Well, I do, but these days things are pretty calm... I guess I'm on a vacation too, heh!"
>That answers absolutely anything, you stupid fish. Fuck, you're so mad because you lost at a thing you never do against someone that does it a lot. It's unprecedented, really.
>But despite that, you're starting to get an interest in sharkpony culture.
"Do you have any friends down there?"
>"Yeah, a couple. I can't afford having a lot of friends, really..."
>Strange.
"Maybe you could bring one of them here sometime, I'd like to meet more of your kind."
>Tidal says nothing for a long time. Finally, she comes back from wherever her mind was.
>"Well... I don't know..."
"What's the matter?"
>"Ugh, it's complicated, and I don't know if I should tell..." she stops, then gasps. You can hear it so hard while still looking at the sky. "I know! There's someone in my town that likes learning stuff, and she's very good at keeping secrets! Maybe I can bring her up here."
>Great, she's gonna bring Twilight Sharkle.
>Fine, at least you get to see a different sharkpony.
"That's alright, bring her if you can."
>She nods effusively.
>Not too long after that exchange, the sun sets and the moon takes its place.
>Fuck the sun, Luna was the better princess anyway.
>Not that you would ever say this in public. Lucky you got away with just thirty days.
>You notice how, once again, Tidal looks up and doesn't move a single muscle or even blink while the pale orb rises.
>You feel like you want to ask right now, but maybe it's pushing it too far.
>So far you've got a decent amount of info about these things, but more won't hurt you at any rate.
"I guess this is where you go back home."
>"Heh, yeah... But I'll come tomorrow, and bring my friend, okay? I mean, if that's okay with you..."
>Hoo, did she just ask for your permission?
>We're improving a little bit here.
>You give her a nod.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then. And please come at a later time."
>"Will do!" Tidal breaks into a jog towards the coast, to the side of the island where she pointed the direction to her place. "See ya!"
>You wave at her as she jumps into the water. With style, you might add.
>In just a few seconds, she's gone.
>Well, you should eat something. That fish wasn't nearly enough, and the sport totally broke you.
>Back in the cabin, you take a shower, change into another set of clothes and throw the dirty ones into a corner.
>You'll figure that out later.
>You eat some of the veggies, cut up and cooked in the pan with some sort of oil, which one, you don't really know.
>But it tastes good.
>Better get rid of the vegetables soon, before they perish.
>Your mind is in pretty good condition right now, unlike your body.
>You can hear random words in your mind. With her voice.
>"Pshh... Nothing personal, ey?"
>Shut up.
>Restless, you pace around the small place, before deciding to take a look at what you got in your suitcase.
>There's clothing, teeth stuff, soap and other bathroom stuff. And the books, of course.
>That doesn't excite you all that much right now.
>But there's also the diary.
>Hmm... Are you going to give in?
>After all, you made a discovery here.
>If land ponies and sea ponies of the shark variety haven't made contact for a while...
>Shit, you might get yourself a prize here.
>Decided, you take a seat and grab the journal, feather and a small pot of ink.
>Eww, this is so damn archaic.
>Better get used to it.
>You check the pages. It's all blank.
>Well, starting on the first page. You might as well catch up from yesterday.
>"Journal of Anonymous, Day 1:
>I've been sent to this island as penance for my 'crimes' against the magic of friendship, whatever that is. I shall spend thirty days in this island, but not alone. I met a strange fella, her name is Tidal Wave, and she's from a strange race of, I guess the best name would be shark ponies. She has features from a shark and most of a pony's body, and lives at the bottom of the ocean. She seems friendly, and decided to come back after a brief exchange."
>"Day 2: As promised yesterday, Tidal came back, right on time for lunch. She got some fish for me and herself, and later came back with a ball to play. They have this sport where they kick and toss a ball around, they call it tailball. Reminds me of something I used to watch back in my world. She hasn't answered my questions about where she comes from, but said she would try to bring a friend with her tomorrow. Hopefully I can get something out of this one."
>There we go. Does that sound alright?
>If everything goes well, you might present these notes to Twilight -or the highest bidder- and get something good out of it all.
>On the other hand... reading it again it sounds like you're doing an experiment on these creatures.
>You laugh heartily. Yeah, research. Might as well. Nopony will be the wiser.
>After spending the next few hours pacing and thinking how you're gonna approach this new shark, you manage to exhaust your brain and send yourself to bed.
END OF DAY 2
 
DAY 3
>Looks like you're going to have one decent awakening, for once.
>The heat doesn't hit very hard, no sharkponies nearby and all the glory of lunch to yourself.
>You can take your time getting up and making food.
>There's even time to check on the fire, to see how it works.
>There's a strange white box underneath the kitchen, with a tube coming out of it up into the actual plaque.
>The size of it all is ridiculously small, fitting for ponies. You have to crouch half the time while using the pan.
>Maybe it's all part of the punishment.
>You're going to be using these for a long time, unless Twilight manages to send you back home.
>What's more important, do you want to go back home?
>Eeeeh.
>Can't think on an empty stomach.
>And by the time you're done eating the thought has escaped you, so nevermind.
>You get out, letting the gentle sea breeze wash you in, and take the hammock for yourself.
>This is much better than the bed, to be honest. It's comfy as balls.
>You're not one to do stuff after waking up and eating, so you'll just hang on here like a lazy bastard until something happens.
>Oh yeah, Tidal said she was going to bring a friend, right?
>You should be looking forward to that.
>After what seems an eternity of waiting, you hear a familiar voice calling from the coast.
>"Oii! Anon!"
>Getting up from the hammock one bit at a time, you wave towards the sharkpony.
>Once you're on your feet, Tidal trots towards you.
>And she delivers, too. She doesn't come alone.
>Another sharkpony is following her close behind. You squint your eyes to catch an early sight.
>Her body is very dark, you're not sure whether it is a deep blue or actual black. Her fin and tail, however, are pretty much white.
>Hah, she looks like an Oreo without the top.
>Her mane is pretty short, just like Tidal's, but poofier. And some shade of pink.
>It's all... dull. You can't place it, but compared to the ponies in land, their colors are not as vibrant.
>Well, they don't really need them if they live far down the ocean...
>Tidal arrives and greets you excitedly.
>"Hey! Sleeping again?"
>N-No? You scratch your head.
"...Just resting for a while, I've been doing... stuff."
>What's wrong with you, man? Like it matters what they think about you.
>Tidal gives you that funny face that sort of implies she doesn't believe you, while her friend arrives to where she is, stepping closer slowly.
>"Well, like I said yesterday, I brought my friend Swirl! Ain't that nice?"
"Hey."
>You wave at Swirl; the girl doesn't seem to have any words for you right now.
>She's oogling you, jaw to the ground, eyes dancing up and down.
>Tidal is one nudge away from bursting, she's even biting her lip.
>Now that they're together, you notice Swirl's white tail is actually shorter than TIdal's.
>That's kind of adorable, probably.
>Finally, she speaks. Took her a sweet time.
>"I, er... Nice to meet you" she gulps, still not knowing very well what to say.
>What, are you really that weird?
>Well, ponies used to think you were weird, but no more than the monster of the week they have to fend off their property.
>Her face is priceless though, you're glad Tidal managed to bring her here.
>"See? I wasn't lying. You owe me a dinner."
>So THAT is where the grin comes from. Swirl looks at her.
>"Well... Yeah, I guess. I honestly thought you were pranking me, but..." she takes another look at you. "This is incredible!"
>Yeah, you're pretty good, innit?
>Conversation should move forwards a bit, or else it's gonna get weird.
"So how's your day been?"
>Tidal shrugs. You let your ass rest under the shade of the palm tree.
>"Nothing to do today either. But Swirl has been busy, right? She's the librarian in my town."
>"I've been doing some work around, yes. It's reshelving season and, well..." Swirl rolls her eyes and... is she blushing?
>Oh joy, she's literally on the scale of Twilight, calling it.
>Wait a second.
>Books? Underwater?
>That only raises more questions.
>You need to have them done by the end of the day, fucking sharkponies and their crazy culture everywhere.
>"Still..." Swirl keeps talking, and that snaps you out of your daydreaming, "Tidal! Why haven't you told anyone about this? This is a huge thing!"
>Huh? So now you're a huge thing?
>Tidal takes a step back defensively.
>"W-Well yeah, I know! But I still wasn't sure if I should..."
>"Of course you should, you idiot! We could find out anything about what's been happening on land all these years!"
>Tidal looks to her sides, and without delay, she grabs her friend by the neck and trots away.
>"Just one second, okay?" She tosses at you without stopping, then the two sharks move towards the sand.
>They speak in hushes, close together. Their tails move to the sides rhythmically.
>You can actually see their plots from here.
>Hot damn.
>Every now and then, they look at you, only to resume their secret talk.
>Man, this is getting boring.
>You want to know about them as much as -you assume- they want to know about you.
>Or, rather, they want to know about their inland cousins/siblings/primordial offspring or whatever.
>They should brave it already. Oh, here they come.
>Swirl speaks first.
>"Sorry about that, it's just... I don't think my friend here approached the situation with the best interests of her people in first."
>"Of course not! I'm in for the fun!" Tidal replies, grinning, only to get smacked in the head by a white tail. "Aah! Swirl!"
"You two are seriously good, you should make a comedy duo."
>It's not sarcastic either, banter fuels the best comedy.
>Tidal laughs forcedly at your comment, showing her teeth. They look pretty damn sharp, that's something all sharks probably have in common.
>"Well, you see, it's on the interest of all sharks for contact with surface people to be reported and... well, first a formal greeting, and, and then..."
>She's losing the trail. Somehow you think it's something she's had to memorize before, but not too hopeful about using it.
>You raise a hand, which startles her. Tidal doesn't move, but her eyes are focused on your palm as well.
>Okay, where to begin...
"Miss Swirl... or Swirl, whatever is alright with you."
>"Uh, oh? Eeh, Swirl is okay?"
"I'm getting a vibe here, that you're trying not to be rude with me."
>Her eyes start shifting to the sides very quick, it's too cartoony even for you.
>Tidal sits on her haunches and relaxes. She's got that smug fucking smile of hers, but that's not the issue here.
>"Well, of course! I wouldn't want to be rude to you, why would I?"
"Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't feel like you're doing it for my sake, you know?"
>Paranoid stare intensifies. You're getting her.
"Seems to me you just want to have me close to obtain some sort of information from me."
>She gulps. You got her.
>"W-Well, I..."
>Tidal is observing the scene with interest.
>Yeah, take a good look bitch, this will be you one day.
>But no, you shouldn't blow your chances, so instead of pissing off the black and white shark, you take the route that appeals to your future gains.
"That's okay, you know? If you want to ask me about the ponies or whatever, by all means go ahead."
>Swirl stops shaking and her eyes relax a bit more. Perfect.
"I'm also interested in your culture, ever since I met Tidal. So we could have a mutual exchange of information. Does that sound good?"
>For the first seconds, Swirl doesn't answer. Tidal is looking at both of you in turns, and doesn't seem like she wants to ruin the moment, which tells you it must be serious shit.
>Finally, they both adopt a much more friendly, less forced smile.
>"Wh-Yes! That sounds great! A cultural exchange would be the best way to act!" Yep, now she's genuinely happy about the deal, and not just trying to keep the gig up.
>Tidal is snickering ever so slightly, she must be having a blast watching her friend get blown out by an alien monkey from the surface.
>You get up, startling Swirl.
"Okay, then why don't we go to my cabin? I think it will be more comfortable."
>Two heads nod in approval, and so you open the door for the sharkponies, like a gentleman.
>Pfft, if the ponies could see you now. What a fucking diplomat you are.
 
>Things get rolling once the three of you sit around the small kitchen table.
>You served the sharks some orange juice, not sure they would, or even could have it.
>They loved it, of course. You'll be damned if there's an equine in this whole planet that doesn't like the sweet.
>You get yourself a juice too. It's bad enough that there's no beer, but now you even lost the rights to a hard cider.
>Nevermind, back to the parliament.
"So, Swirl..."
>The monochromatic one looks at you from her glass of juice. You suspect it's a reluctant action.
"Tell me, what do you want to know about Equestria, or the mainland in general?"
>She looks up, thinking about it. Tidal doesn't give a fuck, she's enjoying the juice.
>It's an abstract kind of cute.
>Ah, Swirl's come up with something.
>Oi, you just noticed, her pointy teeth stick a little bit out of her mouth. Aw.
>"I guess the first thing we must know is, do they still remember us?"
>What.
>That's an odd question. But now that you think about it, you knew nothing about sharkponies, so there's a point.
"To be honest with you, I've never heard a single mention of your kind."
>Let's leave the part where it says you haven't spend a single year in Equestria out of it, for now.
>Swirl looks at the table, then at her hooves, and it keeps going down, holy shit.
"Uh... Sorry if I said something rude?"
>"Eh? No no! It's not your fault" she excuses herself, as Tidal finishes her glass of juice. "It's only natural..."
"Okay, I don't get it. What's the matter here?"
>"More" Tidal pushes the empty glass towards you. You wave her off and focus on the other shark, the one who cares.
>"You don't know? Really?"
>You shrug. Swirl takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye.
>"Okay, I suppose I'll have to explain."
>"Anon, more" Tidal keeps pushing it. You wave her again and nod towards Swirl.
>"Well, a long time ago, sharks and ponies knew each other, and we had a healthy relationship..."
"How long ago was that? I swear, if you say a thousand years..."
>Her pupils shrink when you say that. They actually shrink into slits,rather than points. That's not creepy at all, christ.
>"Y... Well, yea..."
>This fucking cartoon world.
"Okay, I had a hunch. Keep going."
>"Anooon..."
"Not now, Tidal, Jesus Christ, I don't want to run out of juice!"
>You don't want to scare Swirl, but the truth is, this little shit of her friend is making you nervous.
>All you wanted was some sharkpony lore.
>"F-Fine! Jerk..." Tidal drops her head in the table. She's like a little kid.
>"Ignore her. She'll come around" Swirl pats her head and receives a groan from it. "As I was saying, we knew each other, and shared our knowledge in magic and more things..."
"What kind of magic?"
>"Well, we can't do the same magic the ponies do, but there are secrets known to the sharks that we all benefited from."
>This is all actually interesting. You can't let anyone know that you got lectured once, or NEET life will be over for you back in Ponyville.
>"At some point in time, though, one of our greatest magicians went insane" Swirl's gaze starts wandering, trying to recollect her thoughts. "We don't know why, but he decided that sharks should be separated from all the other races. And so he created a powerful item that blocked all communication between the two realms."
>That doesn't sound too far from your usual villain premise. Still...
"What does that item do, then? You can't step in land or something like that?"
>Swirl shakes her head. Tidal raises hers, still looking like a bum in a supermarket.
>"It's not that. We've been inland many times, but..."
"Yes?"
>The suspense is killing you. Sundamn cartoons.
>"...we can't see them. Or hear them. And it seems they can't see us either" Swirl says, squinting her eyes. "It's like we don't exist to each other. To the ponies it probably seems like we disappeared, plain and simple."
>Hoo, you've heard this story before. And seen it on TV. This one empire once disappeared and then came back.
>But ponies remembered the Crystal Empire, as a legend. Perhaps there are records of sharkponies buried in the royal library in Canterlot, beats you.
"So, it doesn't matter what you do, you can't contact them?"
>"No. The item that hides our presence was hidden, so well that nobody has ever even found it in centuries."
>Well. Fuck.
>There goes your chance at the Pony Pullitzer. It doesn't matter when the two races can't even check the other out.
>You recline on your seat. Shit. Now what.
>You offered to talk, so no backing down now. Even if it's not worth it.
>At least you can see them, and make your forced vacation way less boring.
>Getting up, you grab the glasses and pour another round of juices for everyone.
>We can't get drunk, but we'll piss the infinite.
>TIdal cheers up considerably, you can see her tail rocking to the sides. It's a pretty damn long tail, that's for sure.
>The rest of the evening goes with Swirl making you stardard questions about life in Equestria: how's the princesses doing, how many cities are there, what do they do for fun...
>Your knowledge is limited, but some of the insanely long lectures you got from, hell, all of the royalty and then some, stick in your mind.
>Except Luna's, because as nice as she is in a normal conversation, her etiquette is still a mix and match'd disaster.
>Before you realize, it's becoming nighttime. Tidal gives it away by getting out of the shack, you assume to watch the moon rising.
>Now you're alone with Swirl, who doesn't seem to have the same interest.
"Does she always watch the moon?"
>"I think so, she really likes it" she takes the last swig out of her glass and leaves the chair. "It's hard to believe that the ponies and others have forgotten about us. Maybe it's because they have each other."
"While you sharks only have yourselves? Sounds logical. You're not the only ones that disappeared around those years."
>"Hmm?"
"I'll tell you some other day. You're welcome back by the way, I still have questions about your people."
>Swirl smiles tenderly. She's much more sensible than her friend, at least.
>"I will try. In any case, there's always Tidal" she replies, just as the devil herself comes back from her nightly session of moon staring.
>"We going, Swirl?"
>"Yep. I'll see you another day, Anonymous."
"Bye, girls. Next time, bring the ball, Tidal."
>"Aay, that's more like it! I thought you lost all hope" Tidal says, already marching towards the sand with her friend. "I'll see ya tomorrow!"
>You wave them off, not bothering to say anything. Why would you, they always exit when they feel like.
>Maybe that's what makes them so unique compared to the equines you've met so far.
>Back in the cabin, you stare at the wooden ceiling, laying on your bed, journal in hand.
>Man, what now. No matter what you write, it does nothing if you can't bring proof.
>The most you can do is try to help the sharks find the mcguffin that would make everything right again, and then collect massive rewards, hopefully.
>Yeah, don't be absurd. A thousand years and no one has found it, why would you be the first?
>Being stranded here sucks major ass, but the girls are making it a lot easier.
>You could at least write about that in the journal.
>You update it with the day's events, paying attention to the fact that there's next to nothing anyone can do to bring the races back together, and that at least you're having fun to some extent.
>After having a meagre dinner, using the potty and brushing your teeth (with no mirror, commando style), you go to bed. Fucking sharkponies and all that.
END OF DAY 3
 
DAY 4
>Oh boy, if it isn't another day in the dead island of continuous shark visits.
>Except, this time, there's no visit.
>Why? Beats you, but it's well past lunch and neither Tidal, Swirl nor any other of the cute little abominations has shown up.
>This might be your entitlement, but fuck it if you're not getting bored.
>Turns out they are a great way of letting time flow like mad raps.
>In your mild desperation, you did what you thought you never would.
>You started picking up the books Twilight lent you, and checking what they actually are about.
>Hopefully they might be somewhat interest-
>Yeah, that's not going to happen.
>They're all history and culture books; not the fun ones, either, these are literal textbooks for highschool.
>Except thicker.
>Why, Twilight, of all the books in your damn fucking playset castle.
>Not even a Daring Do or some other vapid adventure.
>Admitedly, you haven't read any books since you arrived to the horse world, so you can't effectively measure.
>But these sure look boring, christ...
>You grabbed one of them, some ridiculously big stuff about the last three hundred years of Equestrian culture.
>And you took it all the way to the hammock, which will break at any moment from the combined weight.
>You're not a person that rejects reading, but this is some heavy stuff.
>Deploying nap in three, two...
>"Anonymous?"
"WAUGH!"
>Oh, man, you actually fell from the hammock.
>Grand, simply grand, who the hell sneaks up on people laying horizontal like that.
>Oh. It's Swirl.
"...Well fancy that."
>"S-Sorry?"
"You better be. I was falling sleep when you just assaulted me."
>Swirl's face suddenly grows a deep shade of crimson.
>It goes well with her mane, actually.
>"I-I'm sorry, I honestly thought you were reading, and...!"
>You cut her off, again with your powerful hominid palm.
"I accept the apology. It probably was my fault anyway, at this point I expected no shark to appear."
>The little sharkpony nods at your words. Seems she's alone, too. Whatever happened to Tidal today might be the answer to your conundrum.
>"I know you were probably expecting Tidal Wave, but I'm afraid she's busy today" Swirl explains. "I offered myself to come, since reshelving season is going so well."
>She's sitting in the grass as she speaks, and at the mention of her stupid little library stuff, she claps her hooves like it was funny or something.
>Why is it so endearing? I mean, yeah, ponies are cute and all, but the nerd attack hits too close home.
>Regardless of how you feel towards the half equine, you get up along with this brick of a book.
"Well, let me get a juice or something. Be right back."
>She nods, again, and takes a more relaxed stance. You hadn't noticed before, but she's still somewhat uncomfortable around you.
>Bitch, gotta show who the real predator is here.
>Although they're basically sharks that can run on land and bite your face off.
>What a fucking lovely prospect. What would the real reason be for them to be exiled?
>You get yourself a glass of water. Real water, not that biased shit you're surrounded by.
>You get a different juice for the sharkpony this time. Apple, by the looks of it.
>And bottled. Ho? You need to bring this back to Ponyville and learn about this other apple product manufacturer.
>With any luck you'll have a fun home episode of the Apples going into a feud with some other dudes.
>Grinning to yourself, you bring the drinks back.
>Swirl grabs the glass with her widdle hooves dexterously.
>How they do that is still beyond you, cartoons as a whole are uncharted territory for the most part.
>You spend a while without saying anything, just sipping on the water while she does the same with her stuff.
>She's restraining herself so hard to not just down it in a go, you can see it in her eyes.
>Her pupils dilate and contract erratically, you can see them becoming closer to vertical slits.
>Amazing. And eerie.
>Okay, someone's gotta start talking before this becomes a repeat of your only date.
"So, how is it that Tidal can't come today?"
>She sure was free the other three days, the little cunt.
>Swirl gives you a look of incredulity. Her eyes have gone full lizard now.
>"She never told you what she does?"
>You negate with your head as she takes another discreet sip of juice.
>"That's much like her. She would hate to ruin a chance to have a friend."
"What's the big deal? I'm single and easy target."
>She chokes on the juice.
>"N-Not like she would want that! But her work doesn't let her socialize that much."
>Swirl looks into the half empty glass for answers. It must have replied a 'fuck you' because she doesn't take long to look back up.
>"She's a mediator... as in, she settles disputes between two sharks, or groups of sharks... Whenever there's a problem that the law can't solve directly, she's called to work."
"So she's like a judge, then?"
>"Oh, no no, she doesn't pass judgement. In theory..."
>You're getting more and more curious about this cheeky breeky shark.
>"She does what the law says. But, she's so good at convincing others that she's right, she ends up bending the rules a little bit every time."
>Swirl's apologetic face tells you everything you need to know.
"So she would be a perfect con artist."
>"I... guess? I don't think she would ever use her talent to do that sort of thing. The problem is, to stay neutral, she can't have many close relationships, or she will lose trust..."
"How is it that you're friends with her, then?"
>The black and white shark puffs her chest up blatantly with your question.
>"Well, I am glad you asked! Because I have a perfect record, not a single infraction of the law ever, in my whole life! My record is even cleaner than the queen herself!" She deflates, as if realizing what she just said. "...Please, if you ever meet the queen, don't mention what I..."
"I won't."
>But you might tease and blackmail the hell our of her.
>Ponies give themselves away too easily. Your tactics are too subtle.
"So you guys have a queen, then?"
>"Oh yes! Queen Altomare has been with us since way before the incident happened."
"The incident... oh, you mean that thing when you all disappeared."
>Swirl looks a bit dejected now.
>"You had to put it that way... Yes, we vanished. Everypony forgot about us, it's all done."
"Well, I am here and you exist. For my sake, I really hope you're not figments of my imagination and this is a cruel joke."
>She laughs and finishes her juice. You do the same with the water and carry the glasses inside.
>It's getting chilly outside, so you are about to grab a bed cover or something to throw over your shoulders when Swirl invites herself in.
>"There's something I'd like to ask you" She says, with a dead serious face that really does suit her.
"Shoot me."
>"What?"
"I mean, go ahead."
>Jesus christ these ponies. You can't even mention Jesus around them.
>Swirl clears her throat.
>"I know this is not included in your vacation plans, but... I'd like to make it public to the queen that you exist, and contact has been made."
>And she actually asked you beforehand. With how tense she was the last time, you expected her to run to her precious queen right away.
"What would that mean for you, though?"
>"Maybe, just maybe... there must be a way to connect sharks with the other races again. You might be of some help" she says. It's the truth, simple and you didn't expect anything else.
>You sit down in the armchair. Damn, this thing is comfy, why didn't you use it before.
>Nevertheless, there's a waist high fish equine in front of you, pleading you with her eyes.
>You want to think long about this, about what it means. But some deep, forgotten part of you takes the advantage and runs in.
"Okay. But I still want more information about the sharks."
>Shut your mouf.
>"Yes! Excellent! And I have just the right idea for it!" Swirl turns and dances in place. That's hideously cute, you feel a rainbow creeping up your digestive track.
>"Would you like to visit our kingdom, Anonymous?"
"If I would what?"
>"There are ways, to make you breathe underwater. And we can arrange a proper meeting with the queen" Swirl proudly speaks.
>Shit, is she for real?
>That would be, no, that WILL be the best thing to happen if they pull it off.
>The words of the sentence cross your head like a bright neon flash on the highway.
>'Thirty days alone.'
>AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
>You immediately offer your hand to the sharkpony.
"It's a deal. Gimme your hoof."
>She hesitates, but surrenders her limb to you. You shake it softly.
"But you have to carry through. First make sure you can bring me down there, and then you can inform your queen or whatever."
>"Will do! Thanks so much!" And with that, she jumps at you.
>Holy shit nonono.
>Oh wait, right. She just hugged you. Your face is still intact.
>Remember, they don't want to hurt you Anon. You're still a piece of shit for thinking that.
>You embrace her. Her skin is moist, has a hint of a velvety feel, but ultimately is smooth and a bit slippery.
>It feels top good, to be honest. You place your fingers on the base of her dorsal fin.
>Upon doing that, Swirl immediately goes down like the Invincible Armada.
"Sorry. Did I touch where I shouldn't?"
>"W-Well, you probably didn't know..." she's blushing again, and crossing her front legs like a sun damn damsel. "That spot is a bit too reactive, so maybe touching it with those little things you have isn't the best idea."
>You waggle your fingers. Yeah, they're pretty handy, innit?
"Okay, sorry for that. Oh, it's night already."
>You didn't even notice, but the evening has gone like a breeze.
>Or maybe Swirl came by pretty late already.
>That book sure knocked the wind out of you.
>"Yeah, and Tidal will have finish her mediation by now, begging me to help her with the formalities" she snickers. "I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Well, I'll see you or Tidal tomorrow, then?"
>"I don't know. We might have to stay one or two days home, while preparing everything to bring you down with us."
>That sentence could have been worded in a way less terrifying way, but you agree.
"Got it. Then see you when the time comes."
>"It won't be too long, I promise" and with that and a short goodbye, Swirl leaves for water.
>You observe her moonlit silhouette gently jump from the coast, only to disappear under the waves.
>Man, you're getting a tour and everything. This 'vacation' of yours is getting better and better.
>You sure could use some conversation at dinnertime, but that's not liable to change.
>You eat your own dinner, give another glance at the book before deciding it's not worth it, and write today's events in your journal.
>At the very least it will make for a passable piece of fiction, you hope.
>You could sell this shit all over the place.
>"Anon, Shark Investigator."
>"Anon, Shark MD."
>Expand a couple copypasta stories, print and press, and the bits will roll in by themselves.
>Yeah. There's still life in this little project of yours.
>You fall asleep with images of sharkponies in your head.
END OF DAY 4
 
DAY 6
>Such burning agony.
>No, not hellfire or some shit like that. Just boredom.
>There wasn't a day 5 to report on. Basically, nobody showed up.
>It was then that you knew the pain of being all alone in this little piece of crap island for a whole day.
>Not even swimming made it better. It's just not the same without a dangerous fish pony stalking.
>In short, you're glad it's now the sixth day of your forced retirement.
>Please, God, Celestia, whoever's up there. Just let the rain of sharks pour over you.
>You're now eating some cheese and hoping you'll get something, a messenger would be fine.
>Then again, who are they gonna send?
>Knock knock.
>Holy shit!
>Your body betrays you, dropping the cheese in the table and moderately running for the door.
>And as soon as you open it, bonk, ball to the face.
"Fuck! Not again!"
>Snickers.
>"Tidal, no!" In cue, a smack comes down upon the perpetrator.
>Seriously, fuck that little bastard. You're so glad she came.
>You check your nose and lips. Nothing broken, life goes on.
"Glad to see you too. Tidal, next time aim here, or something."
>You tap your chest, trying to ignore the creeping pain in your face.
>"Hey, Anon. Sorry I didn't came back for a couple days" Tidal makes herself at home, as usual, her little ball bouncing into a corner. "I'm just gonna let this here, okay?"
>Yeah, yeah, okay. Maybe you can train when she doesn't show up.
>Swirl comes right behind, to your surprise, sporting a pair of glasses, the huge circular kind that  bullied highschoolers with braces usually have.
"Nice glasses."
>What you really wanted to say is, why, and how the fuck do those work in water.
>Not like you need anything else to tease her, as Swirl deflects her gaze instinctively.
>"Uh, thanks. I had to come right away from work..."
>How cute. She really is a librarian at heart.
>And what's that she's carrying on her fin? A sort of scuba helmet, more like a comically oversized fishbowl.
>It dangles on her fin, like trenchcoat and katana in mom's basement.
>You want to ask, but before, there's something that needs to be settled down.
>Yep, the noise you just heard was Tidal inviting herself to the fridge.
>Aaww nah bitch. She's gone straight for the juice. You grab it from her hooves.
>"Hey!"
"Don't you even dare. What kind of guest are you, inviting yourself of others without asking?"
>Fuck you're mad. That's it, just forgot it's been two days without her.
>Return me to the void, Celestia, make me forget.
>Her cheeks puff; it is the unmistakable sign of a tantrum.
"Swirl, take cover, she's gonna explode."
>It doesn't faze you, seriously, she can cry for all you care.
>The juice must be carefully rationed, it's the most precious resource in this sun forsaken patch of dirt and sand.
>The pink haired shark leaves her big ass scuba thing on the armchair and walks over to Tidal.
>"You shouldn't complain, Tidal. Be a good example and don't break the rules."
>Ice cold. Her cheeks drop flat in seconds.
>No, not ten. Stop.
>"Anyways... sorry we didn't come back yesterday" Swirl addresses you, pushing her glasses up. Nigga that's so kawaii. "As I said, we had to stay at the palace, sort out some things..."
"Then the deal is up?"
>She nods, and her head tilts towards the unnamed fishbowl.
>"That is the respiration helmet that will allow you to stay down for a full day."
>"And it recharges!" Tidal, dismissing her previous mad, trots over to it and picks it up... with her tail. Of course, that's handy.
"How?"
>"We have to do it by hoof" Swirl explains, picking up the thing from Tidal's taunting tail end. It takes a couple tries and a smack to the side.
>Having a look at it, maybe to check it's in order, Swirl passes it on to you, and so you put it on, no questions asked.
>Once your head is inside, you notice something strange. The air in the fishbowl changes.
>It's a sort of lighter air, you can even notice it above land. So that's how it feels, huh.
"I think it works, you guys."
>Aw yeah, we going unda da sea, shoo be doo.
>"Alright! Then let's go!" Tidal shouts, bobbing her head, a bit idiotically, you should add.
>But wait. Now?
"Hold on a minute. Do we have to go, like, right now?"
>"Yes! I mean, no?" Tidal seems as confused as you are. Swirl looks with loving spite from over her glasses. She has to tilt her head massively for the gesture to work, since the glasses themselves are basically props.
"Swirl, those are your work glasses, right?"
>She turns to you, a bit stiff.
>"What's that supposed to mean?" Again, she does it, the stupid tilt like she's watching over a bunch of kids in the library. Oh christ, the memories.
>"The queen wanted to see you as soon as possible, so please...?" Tidal sort of begs you. Fine, not like you had anything to do.
>Still, it's a bit too quick. What should you wear? Hell, it's underwater, it doesn't even matter.
"Okay then... At least let me eat, and then we can go."
>Round of cheers. Damn, these things are adorable. Slippery little bastards.
>You can finally enjoy a more or less relaxed lunch with your two pals, who await eagerly for you to finish.
>Cough, cough. Shit, you're going to die at this rate.
"Do you girls mind?"
>The two sharks stop looking, a bit scared maybe, and start talking between themselves.
>"What do you think the queen's reaction will be?"
>"I doubt she'll be as surprised as I was. She's so dignified..."
>Ew, the girlboner on the Oreo shark.
>Okay, time to finish this cheese.
>You drink some water from the tap, just a bit, and leave the helmet nearby.
"Girls, I'm going to change clothes. Wait for me outside, will ya."
>Tidal flashes a grin and walks out of the door. Swirl gives you one last look, down and up.
>"Hmm, what will you wear? I don't know anything about your culture, what's considered ceremonial?"
>Oh. Oh lord, this is a great time to be an immature child.
>But... nah. You can mess with her some other time.
"Actually, because it's underwater, wearing anything other than swimming equipment will drag me down. So no, nothing ceremonial I can wear."
>The look she gives you is a bit saddening, isn't it.
>If she likes her queen so much, why doesn't she marry her?
>Lewd.
>"Okay, I guess it can't be helped..." Swirl finally says, leaving you alone.
>Alright then!
 
>Okay, you took out the best of your arsenal, a black and yellow set of trunks.
>Were this Earth, the chicks would dig, ten outta ten times.
>Sadly, your body has a lot to live up to, you anemic fucker.
>Clad in these, helmet under the arm, you walk out of the cabin like Neil Aldrin before landing on Saturn.
>Your two guides to be are waiting, expectantly.
>They both frown at the sight of your naked body.
>What. What?
"What?"
>Tidal smirks. The little cloud above your parade of dreams.
>"Seriously, Anon... Even I can see you need exercise" it's Swirl who speaks the deed.
"Come on! It's not that bad!"
>Let it go, man. Let's check, nothing else you need to take, or can for that matter. You're going in dry, so to speak.
"Alright, I think that's all. We going? Before I start digesting the food."
>For real, if the sun doesn't kill you now, diving in too late might.
>"Nothing else! Let's go!" Tidal screams happily, and runs towards the beach. Without anyone following, of course.
>Swirl rolls her eyes. Every little gesture like that is much more effective behind the thick round lenses.
>You and her get on the move, meanwhile you put the helmet back on and secure it, basically pulling down until it feels right.
>Shit, now you can't move your neck. Oh well.
>The self contained atmosphere of the helmet feels nice, it's like a light breeze.
>Ironically, you'll dive into the bottom of the sea but feel like you're up a mountain.
>That reminds you one thing.
"Hey Swirl."
>"What is it?"
>You both arrive at the beach and walk without hesitation. Tidal is calling you from over yonder, jumping out of water like the well trained bitch she is.
"I was thinking, I'm not used to the water pressure down there. Is it too far down?"
>There might be a problem, there. Then again, this is toonland, so you should expect a degree of freedom.
>"Now that you mention it" the librarian tells you, already half submerged, "you should have no problem once we arrive at the town... Hopefully the trip won't be too bad?"
>Wait a second, why did you say it like that.
"Wait...!"
>The fucker saw through you; she's gone down.
"Ah for the love of... UGH!"
>Christ almighty!
>Someone literally dragged you down by the leg!
>It takes a moment for your eyes to focus underwater, but it's your two lovely sharkmares, of course.
>Here, in their turf, they have a totally different light about them.
>They seem siren-esque, dancing around you with a speed that you just can't match.
>Well, you're not getting any younger.
>Man, how long has it been since you actually scuba'd the ocean?
>Too long, but it's coming back to you. Soon you start trailing behind the sharks.
>They won't let you get lost, fortunately. Swirl is always there to give you a hoof.
>The way locks of pink hair float around her...
>You made a fatal mistake, bringing shorts but nothing to hide an erection.
>Yeah, you fuck horses, so what.
>Not like you even asked any yet. What a pitiful excuse of a human existence you are, truly.
>It's becoming too dark, for real. You can't see shit, but Swirl grabs your hand.
>"Let me help" Tidal's voice surprises you, getting a hold of your other hand. Their voices are way too well defined down here, it's giving you mad feelings.
>Soon, you have a shark propulsion system doing all the work for you.
>You're still pedaling with your legs okay? It's not like you can do much more.
>They are really strong underwater, and the speed is hard to get used to.
>Wait, is that light?
>Yep, you're approaching it. And not just one; you can make a couple more in the distance.
>So far you're not feeling any ill effect due to pressure; figures.
>And finally, the source of the light becomes clear.
>Hoooly crap.
>Straight outta Jules' pen, a full city taking place underwater, covered by what seems to be a giant dome, or bubble?
>Lights float all around inside it; the water inside the dome has a clearer tone.
>As you approach, you can make the silhouettes of your two little angels of death, pulling you and swimming backwards.
>After a time much longer than you would have expected, you reach the bubble.
>It's a bubble alright, you cross it as if it were a membrane, and soon you're bathed in light.
"Aw shit."
>Swirl turns to you quickly.
"I-I'm fine."
>She smiles, a bit cheeky for your taste. You notice that you're sinking.
"Wait, what."
>"It's okay Anon, water is less dense here" Tidal does circles around you, not like a mad predator but rather playing with you.
>So she doesn't sink, because she's swimming? Let's try.
>Yup, you can keep yourself 'airborne', as it were, by swimming, but as soon as you stop your body sinks.
>That's a nice trick, it's like being inland, except it takes a bit of effort moving.
>Touching the bottom, you take a look at the city before you. It seems there's a bit of outskirts that the bubble reaches. The buildings are slightly ahead.
>They're cubicles, basically. They look like mounds of clay roughly shaped for a livin'.
>Well, you ain't much of a dancer, so make your entrance walking.
>"How's everything so far?" Swirl swims beside you, while Tidal takes time to show off a bit.
"I think everything's fine. No pressure, and this thing holds."
>You tap the helmet and make sure it's tightly secured to your neck. A bit too tightly, to be fair.
"Swirl... I'll be able to take it off easily, right?"
>"Hm? Yeah yeah, no problem" she says, obviously talking to herself. You sure you didn't jump in this too fast?
>Either way, you're approaching the city. Lo and behold, sharkponies.
>No, seriously. There's a ton of the little shits, walking, swimming, the whole three dimensional space is their highway.
>Some are too busy to their business to notice you, but those who notice you are easy to point out.
>Some freak out into their homes, others stand there, jaw dropped, and a few look at you like you're the monster of the week.
>Uh, this would be a good time to have Tidal near. You call her over and she stops right by you.
"Tidal, for your own good, please make sure nobody bites my face off."
>Your bitch ass is terrified, but still you manage to sound like a bad dude.
>The blue sharkpony just gives you a grin.
>"Relax, you're with us. Not everyone is as welcoming as me" touching her chest with her hoof, she pouts like a little angel. A little, bloodthirsty predator angel.
>At the other end of the dome, where the stares end, a sort of tunnel extends from the 'road' and opens into the ocean.
"And what's this?"
>"Palace is right there" Swirl points at the front, but you can't see shit; it's pitch black.
"I don't see it."
>"Course not, it's not lit up in the outside!" Tidal grabs your hand. "Come on, you're super slow!"
>Sheesh, alright.
>Once again, the Tidal express pulls you across the length of the tunnel.
>It ends... nowhere, but you can see it now. A massive black shadow, vaguely reminiscent of a fortress.
"You guys need a light or two out here."
>So speaks your terrified gut.
>"Why, because of the visits?" Tidal laughs, before realizing you are, in fact, their first outside visit in a good thousand years or so.
"Yeah. Now let me stand."
>Swirl helps you find the door. It's a well hidden hole, no light whatsoever, and no ceremony.
>At this point it might as well be a trap to your death. These two are uncharacteristically happy.
>Oh well, maybe you were destined to meet your end here...
>Spoke too son.
>The inside of the palace is definitely well lit up. It flashes your eyes when you cross a sort of curtain, everything suddenly coming to life.
>Your eyes adjust, and you can see where you are: it's a long hall, with an incredibly high ceiling. Sort of looks like a cathedral, made of clay, sand and rock.
>Christ, it's cold down here. It wasn't this cold back in the town, for sure.
>"Sorry if it's uncomfortable" Swirl places her hoof in your chest. She probably was expecting this. "If you need heat, I'll have Tidal bring you a thermal cloth."
>"Why me?" Speaks the other one.
>"Because I'll deal with Her Majesty better than you."
>"Excuse me!? I'm the damn mediator, fuck!"
>Oh sun, the hissy fits, they enrich your soul.
>"That doesn't excuse you from being plain rude most of the time!"
"Alright, you two, knock if off. I'm fine, you can stay with me and talk with the queen."
>"Yes!" Tidal does a couple of back spins in joy. Swirl doesn't seem so ecstatic.
"Swirl, remember that she found me first. Don't want all the glory to yourself, that's selfish."
>Hohoho, you love it when you can hit the ponies with their own logic.
>Swirl is visibly bothered, and says nothing. She just walks forward, so you follow her.
 
>Past the long main hall, there is... another main hall.
>Well, that isn't horribly redundant or anything.
>However, this one has an extra air of formality.
>Strange, algae looking drapes all over the place, and a large seat on the far end.
"So this is the throne room?"
>Swirl nods, frowning. Her seriousness doesn't really fit her, not even with the glasses.
>It's like, come on, you're all cute and stuff.
>Past the first half of the room, you can now see the glowing throne in detail. It's made of a crystalline material, with golden edges.
>You whistle. It comes off a bit too high pitched inside the bubble. Tidal and Swirl look at you with a weird face.
>Suddenly, something moves behind the throne, and your body jerks back on impulse.
"What was that?"
>"Hm? Oh, you mean, the queen's here already?" Swirl begins looking to her sides, and you too try to follow whatever the source of movement was.
>Then, from the corner of your eye, a figure darts past everyone and settles in the throne.
>Whoa, that was faster than Tidal, even. Finally, you have a good look at the queen.
>Much like the princesses back home (three quarters of them, at least), the queen has a tall, slender body, her legs and neck standing out.
>She's of a murky, green blue color, sort of like algae, and doesn't change at the tail like it happens for most of the sharks you've seen.
>Her hair flows in the less dense water, curls of pearl silver mane waving like a flag all around her, and a pretty grim looking crown of dark colors above it all.
>Now that's one fucking terrifying pony.
>Seems like Tidal and Swirl didn't took so long to drop on the ground, like good little subjects.
>Maybe you should have, ah, bent the knee...?
>Bit too late; the queen is staring at you, her large, turquoise eyes and narrowed pupils scanning you from head to toe.
>And then, she speaks. If it was chilly before, it now dropped well below zero.
>"Tidal Wave, Swirl. I've been expecting you, thanks for being so quick."
>Oh christ, man, it's like she breathes ice, and the ice is filtering into your bones. It's going to be a long day here at the palace.
>And when you thought it couldn't get creepier, the queen shoots forward and begins circling you slowly. You notice Tidal and Swirl moving away.
>Hey, not now, fuck!
>"And this is the surface creature..."
>You should say something now, shouldn't you? Before she thinks you're stupid.
>Okay, breathe in, breathe out, here goes.
"N-Nice to meet you, ah, Y-Your Highness? My name is Anonymo-"
>Gah!
>She stops right in front of your face mid sentence, why does everyone under the sea do that?
"Yes, Anonymous, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Queen Altomare" she does fancy little motions, like a sort of grim fairytale princess who doesn't realize she's dead or something.
>That's it, The Corpse Bride, that's what she reminds you of.
>"This is something incredible..." she keeps talking. "I've never seen anything like this..." she grabs your arms and lifts them, looks at your sides, everywhere. Your heart fights the cold with fast beats. "Good, this is good!" Huh?
>The queen turns towards the little ones, who're now together and standing by.
>"Thank you for bringing him here, girls" she speaks with a soothing voice. Images of ancient galleons sinking, the haunted visage of sirens and wraiths flashes in your mind.
>The queen caresses Tidal and Swirl slowly, singing their praises. They seem totally ecstatic, to be fair.
>She can't be that bad, can she? It's just your imagination, surely.
>"And I totally found him, Your Highness" Tidal speaks, what a cunt.
>"B-But I helped too!" Swirl moans.
>"Shh, you told me everything already. Do not think I forgot" Altomare is circling them now, is that a fucking ritual or just routine? "But now, I'd like to have a talk with the outsider. Alone."
>Wh
>What did she just say.
>Her eyes find yours and you're sucked in by that definitely not evil gaze.
>Yep, you're trembling now, totally sure.
>"Please, Anonymous, follow me into my chamber, if you will. I have so much that I wish to hear from you."
>She begins moving, somewhere past the throne. You look at Tidal and Swirl.
>They totally expect you to follow her, the absolute madmares!
>Swirl looks pretty pissed off already, and Tidal is gesturing wildly with head and tail.
>So there's no escaping this. You swallow hard and begin walking towards the end of the chamber.
>Past the throne, you see the queen ascend a set of stairs, crooked and ancient as Celestia's cunt itself.
>They wind up and zigzag all around, clad between solid walls of hardened sand.
>Somehow you made it into the setting of a Castlevania game. You follow the stairs up fast and try not to lose the queen's trail.
>Finally, you arrive at a rich curtain, beyond which lies an even richer chamber, bathed in light.
>Thank the sun for that, your heart is about to explode.
>The queen's room, huh? This is getting a bit too personal.
>There's gold and silver and trinkets all over the place, nice looking drawers and a massive bed, except it looks like a sort of seashell with pillows of clay.
>The queen looks back, clicks something on the wall near the entrance, and another curtain, black and pretty heavy looking, comes down and closes it completely.
>This is it, the end of the line, boy.
>Altomare takes off her crown and places it on a small pillow atop the drawer. She then turns back to you with a smile.
>"Phew! What a fuckin' moron I was when I designed this piece of shit palace, ey?"
>Uh, eh.
>What?
>"Wanna drink something? Oh right, you can't. 'Scuse me then" From one of the drawers a round glass bottle comes up. The queen pulls out what you assume is a glass, except it looks like an egg with a little tube on it, much like the bottle.
>She begins to pour liquid, tube against tube.
>Still, what.
>"Come on boy, I'm not gonna bite yer face off or whatever shit you told my girls" her voice and her smile took a wrong turn somewhere, because she now sounds like a weird scottish valley girl with a hiccup.
"O-Okay?"
>Altomare dashes for the bed, crashing into the pile of pillows with her egg safely held.
>"Aaaight, das more like it! Come 'ere, like, have a seat!"
>In no way are you qualified to determine just how bizarre this bullshit is becoming.
>Still, your feet move on their own, and soon you're sitting in the rather comfortable bed, with the queen laying beside you.
>"Soo, it's been a long time since we had visitors, ya know."
>What is she implying with this? You can't follow.
>You look at the dark liquid in her glass, then at the pink bed, and the sharkpony laying on top of it, giving you the eyes.
"...Are you trying to seduce me?"
>"What? No!" Altomare reaches you with the hoof and slaps your head like a teacher who's had enough. "I was just trying to be homely, you witty little cunt!"
"Aah, right..."
>"What's the matter?"
"You know, the way you changed attitude as soon as we were in private..."
>"But of course, like, down there was my girls and I have to look queenly and shit!" She turns around in the bed, displaying her tummy much like a puppy.
"Is 'queenly' even a word?"
>Bampf, her tail reaches your head from the other side.
>"Don't be so cocky in front of the queen, ya bastard."
>This must be some elaborate ritual to get you killed, surely.
>Altomare takes a sip of her egg like glass.
>Much like sipping on juice cartons, she sucks until the liquid falls in her mouth. Or, you know, fellatio.
>"So you live with the ponies, right?"
>You nod, while more of the unholy liquid finds its way into her stomach.
>"But you're not from this world, like, you got summoned or some shit?"
"Right. Did you hear the whole story?"
>"Yeah, but like, I was so fascinated, I toootally needed to hear it from you!" This fucking shark won't stop moving and revolving, it's making you shaky.
"Yep, and I wanted to see your little underwater civilization, so I guess it's fair that you keep me in here for a while."
>"All right then, you have my gratitude, little shit" the queen finally sits straight in the bed, christ it's been too long of an introduction.
>It's got you wondering now whether the pony princesses are actually like her in their spare time, and everything you knew is a lie.
>Queen Altomare asks you questions about the mainland, and what's been happening in the last thousand years.
>"So how's Celestia? Is she still a stuck up sandy cunt?"
>Were you having a drink, it would be floating all around the room now.
>Fuck, that was rich. You burst into laughter while the queen has a chuckle herself.
>"Yea, that tells me enough."
"Wait a second, I need to write this somewhere..."
>You're clapping and everything now, you kinky patriot.
>"I take it you don't like them princesses very much."
>Raising a single finger, you force yourself to stop laughing and coughing.
"Well, haa, it's not that I don't like them, it's just... I'm a bit disruptive with the ponies."
>"So that's why you're taking a vacation? Seems to me they should be the ones sending you away."
>Uh, that hit way too close home.
>Then again, she's the queen, and she's pretty much a bro from what you're getting so far.
>Maybe you can let your conscience rest just this one time?
"Hmm, can I tell you a secret, Your Highness?"
>"Please, just Alto will do" hell, the nerve. "And yea, I'll hold on anything. If I slip, I'll pass the crown onto you."
>While the prospect of ruling the sharkponies raises great interest in you, it's less important that what you wanted to say.
"Well, actually... I've been sent away, as you said, on a 'forced vacation' for thirty days."
>The glass touches the bed, and Alto looks at you with her terrifyingly long slits.
>"And why would they do that?" Once again, her voice sounds scary. Maybe you should clarify that you're not a national threat... yet.
"I may have pissed off the newest princess. Royally pissed off, pardon the pun."
>She keeps staring at you. And then she laughs. She laughs very hard.
>The whole chamber is trembling, actually. You're sure Tidal and Swirl are looking at each other with confused faces down at the throne room.
>"HAHAHAH, that is so fuckin' rich!" The queen pounds on a pillow with her hoof, crystalline tears streaming down her face. Looks like you did the right choice, shlomo.
>It takes her a good minute or two, but she finds the strength to stop laughing and crying. You got her good for the comments on Celestia.
>Speaking of which, what's being talked in this chamber must never reach the outside, it hangs on your life.
>"And tell me now, boy, who's this princess and what did you do so bad to her!?"
>You spend a jolly good time with the sarcastic queen of the sharks, telling her about the mane 6 and other related incidents in Equestria.
>She doesn't have many problems in her kingdom, considering her race is shut down from the rest of the world, so this must be the first good storytime she gets in centuries.
>All in all, she's pretty rockin'.
 
>After what seems a very long time talking about all sorts of stuff, included the queen's favorite restaurant somewhere in another city, she gets closer to you and speaks with a voice more like her royal impression.
>"Well, I'm glad things happened, boy. Having you here is a good opportunity for us"
"Opportunity for what?"
>"For studying you, of course!" Alto throws her hooves in the air, as if you were supposed to know. "If you will just let us touch a little bit in here and there..." she pokes your sides, causing you to giggle.
>But wait, what kind of studying is that?
"Do you mean, you want to experiment on me?"
>"More like the other way around" she says with a frown. "We could find out what makes you able to see us and the ponies at the same time. And then we'll be able to solve it all!"
>That's not as bad a idea as the repeated anal probing you were expecting.
>And better yet, being involved with the sharkponies so deep will only mean you get to rub it off in Twilight's face... figuratively.
>Forever and ever.
>The queen lifts her royal butt off the bed and walks towards a hole in the wall, a window for the lack of a better word.
>"Come here, mussel. I gotta show you something."
>You obey out of sheer fear and walk up to her.
>Even when she's in a good mood there's an air of tension around her, much like Celestia when she has a bad day, you assume.
>Out of the window, you peer into the abyss.
>You can see several light spots far in the distance, in random directions.
>"See that? Those are the main cities of my sharks" Alto speaks, her voice again simulating the cold embrace of death. "And there are more, a good deal more beyond them. I take care of thousands of sharks, as I've done for a good few centuries now."
"They seem to love you, so you can't be doing a bad job."
>"I already know that, idiot" she sighs. "I just want them to meet other races, to prosper... and maybe I won't be bored out of my damn teats for another millennium" great, there she goes again.
>You fight the urge to arch back and check whether she does have teats down there. Fucking sharks.
"I'll let you try with me, but if it doesn't work, you know I have no idea of how magic works."
>"Yea, I still appreciate that" turning around, her smile mets your idiotic face one more time. "I could have stopped him, ya know. That damn bastard..."
"Who?"
>"Merinos, that fucking sod!" she nearly shouts in anger. "He stole my trident, which is a family heirloom, and he's got no better idea than to enchant it to fill up his shark supremacist fantasies, the friggin' cunt!"
"Okay, okay, I get it. Nobody's found the trident yet, right?"
>Alto shakes her head. For some reason, even you can feel its weight over her shoulders as she looks down.
>"It's been long enough, and I'm too piss old and tired. You're here, so let's try that then" saying thus, the queen walks towards her drawer, to don the imperial crown upon herself. She then opens the curtain door thing to her room. "Let's go, punk. Don't wanna waste your night here."
"Okay, but one thing."
>"Hmm?"
>You brace for impact.
"You're a pretty alright dude, Alto, so call me if you want to talk without putting on that fake royal accent of yours."
>The queen stares at you. Her pupils, previously two black holes, now narrow to thin slits.
>And then she smiles, cocking her head much like your chinese cartoons.
>"Aight, I'll have that in mind. Now lemme concentrate."
>Descending the long stairs, you begin to notice the lights have dimmed.
>Seems the palace is preparing for night time.
>Alto doesn't speak or make a sound, she just descends the winding path floating above the stairs, concentrating on her act.
>Damn, politics are hard everywhere, innit.
>Finally, you two arrive at the throne room.
>Tidal and Swirl, little obedient pets, come to you with exaggerated steps, fearful of their badass queen.
>Man, it's going to be really hard not to laugh now that you know her in person.
>"Sorry for keeping you so long in here, girls" Alto speaks, her voice and pose that of the rightful ruler of the sharks once again.
>"Is everything alright, Your Majesty?" The sharks speak up, almost in unison.
>"Yes, Anonymous was a wonderful host. But it will be night soon, and I would very much like it if one of you accompanied him back to the surface."
>"Ooh, ooh! I'll do it!" Tidal raises her hoof, so hard that her whole body shoots up, you know, being in water and all.
>"Tidal, don't you have night shift tonight?" Swirl answers, her voice full of poison.
>Correction, you'll find it hard not to laugh at anything for the next few weeks.
>"Uh, aah..." the darker sharkpony deflates back to the palace floor, shaking.
"That's alright, Tidal. You can keep coming back to visit me, you know?"
>She smiles at you, then at the queen.
>"In that case, I guess I'll just guide you 'till the edge of town" bowing down to her queen, Tidal turns and begins to walk out. Swirl does the curtsy as well and follows her, and you're left with Alto for a few seconds.
>She whispers something into your ear, words of fate and doom.
>"Have fun with them ya little prick. Seeya."
>Smacking you hard with her tail, she sends you on your way.
>You still have time to look at her one last time and wave.
>She totes likes you.
 
>The way back happens without incident. Most of the sharks retire to their homes pretty early.
>Those who don't, you saw them moving towards another edge of the bubble, in bands.
>Upon asking the girls, you met with a surprising response.
>"What? To move the currents, of course!"
"The what again?"
>Swirl facehoofs, to your amusement.
>"Idiot, we control the currents this side of the ocean" Tidal speaks, directly to your face. "That means we need to swim together to generate enough force to keep water running from this sea to the next one."
>Wow, that's... pretty predictable.
>The fuck were you thinking? Of course they had some bullshit like this.
>Much like pegasi and earth ponies back home, no natural phenomena occurs without some sort of equine controlling them.
"Alright, I guess that makes sense... so you take turns or what?"
>The girls nod.
>"However, there's always the chance that replacements are needed" Swirl lectures. "That's why all sharks do their best to be in town when night falls."
>That explains why they're always so sure to run back to the water when the moon is out. You thought they would melt under its white radiance.
"Gotcha. See you tomorrow then, Tidal?"
>"If nothing needs me, you bet your nuts I'll be there" doing a couple fast spins on her axis, to the sides and back, Tidal darts back into town.
>Swirl, while not as strong a swimmer, still has enough traction to carry you back to the surface.
>With a couple stations you could install a shark bus service, this shit is comfy as hell.
>Finally back in your piece of shit island, Swirl bids you to crouch near her.
>"See you tomorrow" and wrapping a leg around your neck, she gives you the huggies. She's really hug happy.
>Night is well underway, and your stomach rumbles.
>All these sharkpony shenanigans have altered your eating schedule to a point where you don't even care anymore.
>Having a heavier than usual dinner, you spend a good while updating your journal.
>The entry is almost two pages long, crap.
>Please, Buddha, let them find a cure for their magic bullshit so you can cash in the prize.
>Going to bed, you catch sight of Tidal's ball, whom she left here for your pleasure.
>Maybe you'll have it tomorrow.
>One last sound reaches the island before you fall asleep: thunder.
>By the sun, if it starts raining, you swear someone's gonna get it.
>Fucking sharkponies.
END OF DAY 6
 
DAY 7
>It's a new day in the island of fuck you we don't like you, signed the ponies.
>And by the looks of it, there wasn't a storm last night after all!
>The structural integrity of your humble shack gives you the frilly willies.
>It also seems you slept quite soundly, because the sun is well into lunch time.
>And as if fate required it, no sooner you take a step and there's a knocking on the door.
>"Oi! Anon, are you there? Open up!" That's Tidal alright.
>You should, like, grumble something at her?
>Nah.
>With slow steps, you work your way towards the door and open it, to reveal not one, but two sharkponies, hooray.
>"Hi Anon!" The girls shout at you, well, not shout, but your state of mind right now will react to anything as 'fuck it'.
>You stand there for a few seconds, until their little smiles vanish.
"...Hi."
>"Are you okay?" Swirl moves forward from behind her friend.
"Yeah, just got up. Come in."
>Trying not to be rude, but partially failing, you stroll towards the kitchen while Tidal and Swirl move in.
>Wait, they're not moving in.
"...What?"
>You turn around to give them the stink eye. They act unfazed.
>"No, you idiot, come here" Tidal calls up to you, a frown tarnishing her pretty pony face, showing the sharp teeth.
>Ugh, what now. You go back towards the door.
>As soon as you're out of the cabin, your pals launch their hooves towards the same direction, pointing at something.
>That... what is that?
"The hell?"
>You approach the completely new object that suddenly rests in the sands of the beach.
>It's a wooden crate, a large one, at that, almost as tall as a pony and square.
>"We just saw it when we arrived, but we didn't touch it" Swirl speaks, proud of being a good little pet and all.
"Huh... aha..."
>Honestly, you don't know what to do with this shit.
>Well, it's a container, so there must be something inside.
>You tap the planks and try to find a place to open from, but the crate is well shut.
"...We're going to need something to open this. Do you girls have any ideas?"
>Tidal and Swirl cock their heads to the side, deep in cartoonish thought. Tidal jumps in the air first.
>"I know! I'll ask someone in the town for a trident, be right back!" Without waiting, she launches her body into the water, disappearing in a blink.
>"Okay, she'll be back soon" Swirl asserts. She then turns to you. "Did you sleep badly, Anon?"
"No, not really, I actually slept too well."
>"Ah, well that's good" scratching her chin, Swirl sits in the beach, waiting for her friend to return.
"I need something to eat, wait here."
>Swirl lets you go with a 'mhm', and so you partake of a weak ass midday breakfast. You seriously want to eat more, but your eyes are fixated in the strange wooden crate.
>Like, who the hell would send a crate here? The ponies? Or did it come ashore from some unnamed freighter ship? Do ponies even have a navy, ship trade?
>Sooner than you can finish your measly yogurt, Tidal comes back, sporting a mighty impressive trident, of a silvery metal that you wouldn't put past being actual silver, or platinum.
>Holding on to it with a hoof, Tidal walks towards the crate and aims for the center.
"Yo, yo yoo! Wait a minute!"
>"What now!?"
"Don't just poke it, you might damage whatever is inside!"
>Running to her, you snatch the trident out of her slippery legs.
>"Ey!"
>Pay no attention to the mad sharkpony.
>Using the triple tip of the trident, you put force on prying the top board open. It's evident you can't do it by yourself when Tidal assists you with her eldritch fueled tail.
>One creak, two creaks, three creaks and its gone. The lid blows in a mild fashion. All three of you peer on the inside.
>"Sweet, fuck yeah!"
>"Nice!"
>Well that was unexpected. Inside the crate there's a full array of supplies, clothing and books, all neatly ordered in a way that reminds you of a certain main character.
>Turns out the ponies would take care of you. Kickass.
>And the reason the girls shouted was probably the fact that new bottles of juice came with the package.
>You smirk, dropping the trident to the ground.
"Alright then, you girls help me with all this and we'll have a juice later."
>Loud cheers embellish the crappy island, and the contents of the crate are hauled inside in no time at all.
>The shark tails provide enough leverage to grab most of the stuff in a couple travels. The organizing comes later.
>You're no Twalot, but the food can't be left to spoil, and the shirts are too neatly folded to just throw them.
>The promised reward comes; your juice supplies are at an all time high, so the sharks get what they deserved.
>They're so damn happy with just a glass of juice, your heart can't take it.
>And, the mystery solved, you can focus on making a real lunch.
>Swirl, curious as she would be, is taking a look at the books.
>"'Expeditions of the Northen Lands', 'Of the Founding and Boom of Manehattan'... Are these books about Equestrian history?"
>You nod, your mouth full of cheap, delicious quiche.
"Those are from, eh, a friend of mine. She probably thought I would like some reading."
>Swirl's round pupils stretch into slits the more she looks at the books. You know exactly what's coming.
"If you want to read them, go ahead. But don't wet them."
>The black and white sharkpony nerdgasps, and throws herself into your arms. Her skin is surprisingly warm and soft.
>"Thank you thank you thank you! I'll take good care of them, don't worry!" She goes back to her books, to decide which one to read first.
"Wait, I have another one you might like more..."
>Tidal is eyeing the books with not much interest. Her attention is on the juice bottle more intently, so you put it closer to her on your way towards your old suitcase.
>You pick up the book you were trying to read last time, and offer it to Swirl. It's a heavy as fuck volume, and it shows. She can barely hold it.
"You'll like this one more, probably."
>The little shark smiles and grabs the book with her tail, not without effort. Finishing her juice, she moves towards the door.
"Wait a second, where are you taking that?"
>"Oh, er, is it okay if I read in your thingy, by the trees?" Swirl asks, pointing in the direction of the palm trees and the hammock.
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
>She takes off with a smile, and you're left with Tidal, who's on her second juice. You retire the bottle from her sight, which makes her groan.
"Enough for one day, you monster."
>"The fuck? You're worse than my mom!" Of course, she would complain. To your amusement, at least.
"How's your day been?"
>"Hm? Good, I guess. Nothing to do so I came here."
"Yeah, I can see the trend. Enjoy it while it lasts."
>"You're not going away just yet, right?" Her golden eyes penetrate your gaze with a tinge of pain.
"No, but one day I'll have to go back."
>"But until then!" Tidal finishes her juice soundly and leaves the table. Looking around, she spots the item she was looking for.
>The ball she left the other day. How didn't you see that coming.
>"Okay! Time for training, you weak little shit!"
>Yep, she's definitely a subject of her queen. You smile in resignation.
"Go easy on me."
>"Sure, sure" Tidal says, bouncing the ball in the end of her tail.
"I'm more interested on the trident, anyway. What is it for?"
>"Huh? Some sharks like to fight with them, it's a sport" Her smile widens over your confused face. "With protection, and all the stuff. Don't be silly."
>Sun dammit, now you remember how much your head hurts with her sometimes.
>At least the queen was straightforward, Tidal is hands down a swindler at heart.
>You and her step out of the cabin. Swirl is comfortably laying in the hammock, already read quite a few pages of the book.
>The way her body dangles, moved by the wind, those perfect little pony curves...
>Just stop before we have an accident, you moron.
>A ball hits your stomach, softly, to call your attention. Tidal is already on the other end of the island, which isn't really that far away.
>"Come on!"
>Yes, it is on, indeed.
 
>Why do you keep agreeing on this stuff, again?
>It's not like you were ever a dedicated athlete.
>Then again, there's next to nothing to do in this island, and you sleep a lot. Your body can be demanding sometimes.
>After biting sand a few dozen times against Tidal, it should stop complaining.
>The worst part would be her remarks.
>"C'mon dude!" "Step it up, slowpoke!" "What a fuckin' nutter!" and so on.
>The turquoise haired shark won't stop yapping and gloating for a second.
>Well, if you were her, you would do it too. But it brings you salt.
>After picking your pathetic body up, you sit on the sand. Tidal looks at you quizzically.
>"Wanna take a break?"
"What does it look like?"
>Your masterful remarks come loaded with scorn, for one.
>Swirl is having a grand time with the history book, she's already powered through a good half of it.
>She's a very dedicated reader, not having said anything even when the ball came dangerously close to her face.
>Tidal trots over by your side with the ball, and drops her plump ass in the sand.
>"Don't be a sore loser, I do a lot of exercise..." she strokes your arm with her hoof and a reassuring smile.
>Look, she's not being a cunt for once. You return the smile.
"Yeah, I know..."
>You're still defeated, though. In the physical way.
>Nothing could make you move right now.
>Right?
>"When it comes to tailball, I'm fucking invincible."
>*twitch*
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LmYHOZorwc [Rules of Nature (Platinum Mix)]
"What... what did you say?"
>"I said" the proud pony taps her chest, "I'm fucking invincible!"
>For a brief second, the plan crosses your mind.
>Nature's plan.
>With renewed forces, out of nowhere, you grab Tidal's long, fishy tail.
>"E-EH!"
>Holding your ground firmly, you grab the moderately heavy pony and begin to spin her, defenseless, in the air.
>"A-A-Anooon...!"
>Spinning, spinning, you begin to build speed. It's becoming hard to see.
>But there's an ample margin, and she won't go that far.
>With an energetic roar, you let go of the tail just in time, launching Tidal in the air.
"RULES OF NATURE!!"
>"AAAAAAAAAAAA...!"
>You're not done!
>Running into the water, towards where she's falling, you take a mightly leap, unbelivable.
>You tackle Tidal just in time, both of you falling into the water, the impulse sending you away from the coast.
>Swirl looks up in disbelief as you grab Tidal in a strong hold against her supple waist and begin to wrestle her.
>"Not fair, cheater, I'll show you tussle, fucking moron!" The sharkpony yells incoherently. Yes, the hunt is on.
>With her tail, Tidal slaps your back. You didn't foresee such strength, when it was only reasonable that she would pack a punch with all that muscle.
>Despite her efforts, your surprise attack left her open. You and her begin to play fight in the water.
>Her mobility is great, but you make sure to hold her and GAARBLBGLBGBL!
>"Anon, stop right now!" Swirl joins the fight! With a foul, no less.
"Aaarghblbl..."
>You sink at times, the second shark pushing your head under the water and grabbing your neck while your arms encircle Tidal fiercely.
>"Anon, stop! What are you doing?"
"No choice! Gotta follow the laws of the laaaangrblrbgrbrl...!"
>"Fine! You're against two predators, idiot!" Tidal yells, distracting you so that Swirl can reach your midsection and rub her hooves all around your sides, causing you to relax and giggle ever so slightly.
>Tidal breaks free and the tussle continues; it's obvious to the three of you that it's just for funsies.
>At some point, you grab a hold of Swirl's fin with a stray hand.
>"Anon! No!"
"Hm? Oh yeah, sorry"
>Yeah, you say that, but your hand is firmly locked around the top end of her fin. You clasp your other hand.
>"B-But, stop!" The librarian moans, terrified of what's going to happen to her?
"Why? What might possibly go wrong if I do this...?"
>You begin to rub Swirl's fin, the taller end at least, causing her to laugh hysterically and lose all control of her body.
>"Aaaah, ahahahah... aaa-Tidal, helpaahaahah, help meeeeeahahahah...!!"
>Her friend, stoic in the water, shakes her head.
>"You got caught, Swirl. You get what you deserve."
"Nice."
>While your left hand pets the top area of her fin, your right goes lower and lower, caressing her different levels.
>Her response only changes when you get to the very base, touching the very narrow crevice that connects fin with back.
>Her laughs suddenly become yelps, and then moans. Those are no ordinary moans, either.
>"Aaahn, fuuuh... Aah..."
>"W-Wow dude, calm down now" Tidal beckons you. Ah, so this is obviously the G spot.
>No wonder it's so hard to find in humans.
>Just to tease for a bit, you run your fingers a couple times across the fabled crevice, eliciting delicious sounds from your half fish friend.
>Once it's over, you let go of her, only to be greeted by a full on tail slap.
>It almost makes you spin in the water, it takes you a while to go back up, only to find a very angry and red faced Swirl.
>"Y-You IDIOT! What do you think you were doing!?" As soon as you're in her line of sight again, she beings to pound on your chest with her hooves.
"Ah, ah, ah, that hurts, Swirl, goddamit Swirl...!"
>"Shut up!" There's... tears in her face? C'mon now.
>Before you can say a word, Swirl disappears into the ocean with subsonic speed, leaving only the ripples of water in the everchanging sea.
>You look at Tidal. She seems mildly displeased too.
>"Dude, not nice."
"What? I was just poking her a bit..."
>"Not in there! If it were me, fine, because I can handle it, but Swirl is a lady, she's not used to that kind of stuff! Cunt!" Tidal gets ready to jump into the water.
"Wait! At least tell her I'll apologize!"
>Blowing up your chances with the sharks, bad stuff.
>Tidal snorts.
>"I'll try, Anon, but wish for some good luck." in the blink of an eye, Tidal Wave is gone.
>Well damn, you just wanted to play video games.
END OF DAY 7
 
DAY 9
>You piece of shit.
>You had ONE JOB, and that was to be in good talks with the sharkponies.
>Now it's been one day since you accidentally fin raped Swirl, and the distinct silence that followed has remained with you ever since.
>Nobody showed up yesterday, and sun knows whether they will today.
>You went to bed nervous, almost frightened of ruining your chances, the money, the fame and the color horses praising your name.
"Goddamit, seriously..."
>You couldn't sleep; deep inside you know you were having fun with the girls.
>You're not a jerk, just unappreciative of the things you have; your mum said as much, back on Earth.
>Taking a walk on the pitiful island, you try to calm down your temper.
>It's fine, it will be fine, Tidal will come back, you'll have your chance, it will be fine.
>But what if it's not.
>Your mind about to blow, you just drop there, in the makedo beach where you're confined for, what, three more weeks?
>Your hands find their way atop your face.
"Stupid idiot..."
>"Yea you are."
>FUCK!
"Oh crap! Hello!"
>You have probably never been so happy to see those sharp, serrated teeth.
>Tidal smirks with her usual smugness, waving her tail back and forth, to the sides and in circles.
>Fuck, stop moving like that.
>"What then, are you feeling guilty yet?"
>You nod, thinking at the same time that it's quite a bit of a loaded question.
"Wait a minute... you weren't just waiting for me to break down to come see me?"
>The sharkpony smiles, now with kingdom toppling malice.
>"What gives? You were about to anyway."
>Truth be told, you put up a strong front, but break down easy when you know you done fucked up.
"I admit I went too far. Swirl is a sweet lass, I didn't want to make her feel bad."
>"Well, wanted or not, you did. So rev them apologies up."
"Sure, when's the gig."
>"I don't know more than you do" what? Tidal's face turns grim for a moment as she strolls closer to you. "I'll keep flattening the ground, but I tell you: she's mad" her face comes extremely close. "Very, very mad."
>Swallowing a metric ton of saliva, you flinch a bit from the blue and turquoise shark, her golden eyes piercing yours with her slit shaped pupils, almost a paranoid reflex act.
>"By the way, the queen wants you back" Tidal resumes with a normal stance. "I think she wants you to test something."
"You mean, she wants to test something on me."
>"Yea yea, whatever, let's go" turning around, Tidal aims for the opposite end of the beach, the one closer to the sharkpony underkingdom.
"Wait, I'll go change. Where's the helmet?"
>"Rrrright here!" She points at the hammock, where the bubbly looking contraption rests, awaiting the moment you come inside. With a shudder, you enter the cabin and proceed to get in your trunks, displaying a significantly weak amount of muscle mass.
"Ready. Hey, if the test doesn't take long, want to hang around your town?"
>"Yeah, that'll be sweet!" This unkills the shark, clearly. Tidal turns towards the water and jumps in good spirits. You follow her even as you attach the cumbersome breathing device to your neck.
>The trip to the sharks' doesn't take any longer than the other time. Tidal is a very efficient swimmer in the face of any conditions, and you're learning to put your body in the direction of the flow, to make it more aerodynamic... waterdynamic? Hella slim, that will do.
>Your hella slim trip takes you all the way to the grim palace of darkness, without even stopping by the town. Once inside the foreboding structure, your eyes take a while to adjust to the particular light conditions.
>"Well, I'll be back later. Good luck dude" Tidal prepares to part from you.
"Wait! Will I have a chance with Swirl today?"
>"I'm working on it" her voice drops to a considerably cold tone. It doesn't help that the inside of the fortress is bloody cold.
"Does anyone know... does the queen know about it."
>You remember to ask this very important question. If Altomare has heard that you offended one of her precious little fishhorses... oh christ, somebody help.
>Luckily, Tidal simply shakes her head and, with a flourish, disappears from sight with strong tail strokes. You're left on your own to advance into the throne room.
>Queen Alto is already waiting for you, and what's more, a few sharks acting as guards are here too.
>They wear fancy looking armors made of corals, or crystals, or sun fucking knows what, and tridents, much like the one you saw a couple days ago.
>"Ah, Anonymous, thank you for coming" the queen greets you with her 'official' voice. It still finds you in a pickle not to laugh when you hear it.
"Good day, er, Your Majesty. You called for me?"
>That's it, keep it formal as well, or she'll bite yer dick.
>"Yes. I'd very much like it if you wanted to begin the, 'experiments', as you referred to, as soon as possible. Is that alright with you?"
"Well, I'm here, that should tell you what you need to know... Your Highness."
>Snicker.
>Alto looks at you with her bright blue eyes, it's like a statue, you can't feel a hint of movement in her. However, she smiles.
>"Wonderful. Then let's get on with it. Guards, please lead Anonymous to the alchemy lab. I will join you shortly."
>With that and a little bow, Alto departs for what seems to be her room. Two of the guards stand forth, beckoning you.
>Walking underwater ain't easy, but the guards keep their composure as you follow them through the labyrinthine hallways of the palace. One such hallway ends in another creepy curtain, which opens to a room full of bubble shaped objects, bottles, shelves and crap spread all over the place.
>The guards nod respectfully towards you and leave, letting you alone to check the contents of the bottles. There's liquids of all colors, dimmed by the poor lighting, some bubbly and some shaky, others so light, the bottles themselves float in the ceiling like balloons.
>"Aight, le's do business!" Alto's voice surprises you; she's back, without the crown, with a weird set of... glasses? Similar to diving glasses, you assume those are their version of the protective stuff scientists use.
"That's not comical at all, Alto."
>"Shut up ya little twat, my stars how much of a little prick can you be" lovely as ever, without dropping her cheeky smile, Alto parades through the room, picking bottles and cauldrons and all sorts of weird shit.
"Wait, are you going to do the testing?"
>"Yea, I could call the best alchemists in the kingdom, but only I got the personal experience with the problem, ya know?" Alto says nonchalanty, picking more and more bottles. "Aight, it's very simple: I'm going to give you some of these potions to drink and..." she stops for a second. "Wait, how are you going to drink?"
"You tell me, this is not my invention."
>Sighing, Alto plants a hoof on her face even as she walks towards the wall. There's a conveniently placed lever that she pulls.
>"Okay, hang in there, this might feel funny."
"What? Oooooo..."
>Something weird is happeningggg...!
>Somehow, the room is draining of all water, being encapsuled in natural air, and returning your freedom of movement.
>Why the fuck didn't she use this the other time!? Christ, the nerve on this cunt!
>"I bet yer thinking I'm a cunt for not letting you in."
"No I'm not."
>"Aight, take off the stupid thing" you so obey, and meet the outside air once more, somehow being filtered in.
"This is mighty good, can I buy a house down here with this installed?"
>"I'll give you a whole city if we find out a way to reverse the curse" she's dead serious, too, you gotta love how she gambles her kingdom away to escape a fate worse than death.
 
>Okay soo.
>"Fuck my life, really!"
>Alto is taking her frustration on the walls, pounding them with her head, hooves and tail, basically stating that she wants to die, she wants to feel the sweet release from this watery tomb.
>In short, none of the potions worked the way she wanted to.
>She made you drink them in sequence, waited a bit and then pricked you for a drop of blood with a needle. She then compared it with some other liquids and stuff, all in a very non magical way, if you were to be asked.
>However, there must be some element of fantasy to it, because some of the concoctions made you feel... weird.
>Some were just like drinking cola, others felt more like heavy brandy. There was one with the consistency of tar, and it made you rather sick for half an hour.
>One made you float. Thing is, there's no water in the room. It just made you go into zero gees, much to your amusement. Until the effects were off and you divebombed the floor.
>No additional harm was done to any human during the testing of these potions, and so Alto called the session off, begging you to come back after a few days of mixing new stuff.
>"Please mussel, I won't give up so soon, and I hope you don't either."
"As long as you don't let me fall again, you can call me any other day."
>And so, you return to the main foyer of the palace, where Tidal awaits you impatiently.
>"Hey dude, how did it go?"
"Not so good, Tidal, the queen didn't find anything to reverse the curse just yet."
>Some light vanishes from her eyes. Her mouth turns upside down in a grimace of pain, the endless pain of sharks.
>"Dammit. Well, there's always the next day, right?"
>You seem to detect a hint of begging in her question as well. Damn, these sharks are starving for some outside contact.
"You can count on it. How are the things with Swirl?"
>As you walk from the palace back into town, Tidal gives you the good news: Swirl has accepted to hear your apology, so that's where you're going next.
>"Oh, and also..."
"Mhm?"
>"I might have slipped the tongue in front of a couple of sharks, and well..."
"What the fuck did you do, Tidal."
>Worry increases exponentially.
>"Well, I'll just say that I hope you can make peace with her right now, before they find you. We sharks can be very territorial, and that includes personal offense."
>Fuck this world and all that lives under its waters.
>You arrive at one of the many houses, cubicles of clay and stones meshed together in patches. Rather primitive, but that'll do under the water.
>"Okay, are you ready?" Tidal asks you.
"Not sure, let me a second to gather my words."
>You really don't want to mess this up, do you.
>Setting your brains to work, you think about Swirl, about the few days you've known her. For her character, you need to construct the perfect apology.
>This is one skill you've inherited from ol' Earth, making excuses, alibis and apologies, true and fake, specifically tailored for each customer and situation.
>You soon learned how this skill could save your ass in Equestria, and used it to wreck havoc with little consequences.
>You could say you're the most effective, yet least punished of villains.
>Searching your words, analyzing, constructing, beep boop...
"...Okay, I got it. I'm going in."
>"Good luck, bro" Tidal salutes you, making you even more nervous.
>You're not even going to pretend, you want to honestly apologize to her, it's best to come clean with the sharks since they could rip you to pieces if you just brushed them off.
>Breathing deep, you enter the house.
>The inside is... well, that's pretty nice. Compared to the crude exterior, the colorful pillows and furniture make it quite the lovely home.
>It also makes it very easy to spot the black and white shark, sitting across a small decor table. A spherical glass, currently empty, rests in front of her.
>Swirl is looking at you, completely still. You fear her eyes will burn a hole through you.
>Man, this is tense. Technically, your life is at stake here, you can't just run away from sharks in the middle of the ocean.
"Hello, Swirl."
>"Hello, Anon" the shark says, unfazed, not exactly angry but still wary of your next actions.
>You begin to walk towards her, and slowly, nodding, take a seat right next to hers.
>"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Her voice stands still in time and space, it's pretty fucking creepy, to be real.
>But here goes, years of human behavior at work.
>You launch from the seat, rest your left knee in the ground, and grab her hoof with your hands, causing her to inhale rather sharply.
>The first thing to bring down a character like her, is to humilliate yourself in her eyes, giving her the higher ground. She likes being the cute little princess, then you'll give her that.
"Swirl, I understand it if you don't want to listen to me right now, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry about what I did to you the other day. I didn't account for my actions and as a result, I hurt you. I didn't mean to, Swirl, I wasn't aware of the implications. I'm not the brightest when it comes to social interaction..."
>You smile smugly in your mind.
"...but I like having friends, and I know you and I will be great friends, if you're willing to look past this incident, which was entirely my fault."
>There, you looked her in the eye during the whole thing and stroked her hoof tenderly, something no evolved ape female would let you do before. If it ain't work...
>But it must be working. Swirl's teeth are extremely gritted, her face trembling ever so slightly, her pupils contracted to their limit. It takes a good while of her to react.
>"Do you... do you mean it?"
"I do."
>Christ, it sounds like you're getting married.
>Then again, Swirl has the healthiest hips you've seen in a while. But you digress, the monochromatic shark still won't give it up.
>"You know you hurt me, right?"
>Fucksakes girl, you just explicitly said that a few greentexts ago. Okay...
"Yes, but only because I didn't understand, not because I mean't you any harm. We don't know each other that well, but we have a deal, remember? To help each other. I only intend to learn."
>At least you learned a valuable lesson about sharkpony anatomy, innit.
>Swirl looks at the ground for one second. Tears, clearer than the water surrounding them, appear in her eyes.
>"I just... it's just that... nobody's touched me there, okay? E-Ever! I wouldn't have reacted like that if, if..." Yep, she's crying alright.
>Okay, she's got issues, big whoop, so do you. You can lay one more down.
"It will come in time, Swirl. You're a young, healthy shark, and one of the most beautiful things I've seen in this world, take my word for it."
>That's a very strange way of spelling 'I want to fuck your pussy raw', but it will do.
>"You... you think so?"
>You nod with a sincere smile, well, more like a creepy pervert.
>Breakdown in 3... 2... 1...
>"WAAAAAAHH!" The pink haired shark drops into your arms. Mission accomplished.
>You stroke her mane and pet her sides, carefully avoiding the fated fin and any other dangerous zones.
>Underwater, she feels squishy, it's nice.
>Swirl cries for a while, then lets go of you. Her tears float in the water, ew.
"Do you need anything?"
>"N-No, just a moment..." she tries to clear her tears with the thin end of her tail. It's almost painful, but part of your mind can't let go of dat ass.
>Seriously, why is she not taken? Oh yeah, librarian.
"Are we in peace, then?"
>Swirl nods.
>"I'll let go. But you owe me one from now on."
>That's not unreasonable, you just want to get done with the thing.
"Sweet."
>In that moment, somebody enters by force, ruining the whole scene.
>"Dudes, are you done or what!?" Of course, that somebody is Tidal.
"What's the matter?"
>"Some of the sharks might know that you're in here. Swirl, please, have you forgiven him?Please?"
>"Y-Yeah, what's the problem?"
"Looks like we got some PR to do."
 
>It's not exactly a mob, there's just five sharks out there.
>Still, they're more pissed than american Kirby on a Hannukah special.
>"There they are!" Some cunt yells, and sooner than later you're surrounded by the little things, Tidal and Swirl acting as your protection.
>"Swirl, are you alright?" A male shark, of brown and grey body, whiteish mane and magenta eyes, with a red cross for a cutie mark,  steps up front. Well, he swims, since every single shark in sight is hovering over the ground.
>"I'm fine, Max. Anon and I have made peace" Swirl quickly hugs your neck with her tender little legs and plants her face next to yours.
>Man, lewd.
>"Oh, yeah? That still don't mean shit!"
>"Oh, for fuck sakes Max, you feisty little shit, do you have any idea how important he is to all of us?" Ayy that's your gurl Tidal laying some middle ground.
"I didn't mean her any harm, or any of you, seriously."
>The spokespony, Max, looks at you with his slit pupils.
>"I didn't ask you."
"Whoa there, no need to be rude."
>"Nevermind him, Anon" Swirl grabs your arm. "He's just had too many hits to the head."
"Still, I don't want to make any enemies. Max, is it?"
>You slowly offer your hand to the crazy shark, for some reason believing he won't bite it off you.
>Max looks at your hand, then at the other sharks, who look decently terrified of what might happen here. Sighing, he extends his hoof in a similar fashion to yours.
>Well, crisis avoid...
>"Name's Maximum Edge, kid. Don't forget it."
>...
>Heh...
>Heheheh...
"PFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAA!!"
>The hoof retreats back as Maximum Edge and his entourage take one swim back.
>"The fuck...?"
"Haaahohoho, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...!"
>Crap, your sides are too weak to run away now.
>Maximum Edge, holy shit.
>He's not pleased at all, this Max Edge guy.
>"Okay! That does it! Come at me, idiot!" Everyone gasps as Max makes space and prepares himself a good distance from you.
>"Max, stop! Anon, what is wrong with you!?" Tidal is trying to desperately enforce peace, but it's too late. You put a hand in her shoulder.
"It's okay, Tidal, I guess I deserve it... I shouldn't have laughed, let him hit me once."
>"Dude, he's crazy strong."
"Yeah well, I said I deserve it."
>This is gonna hurt, but you might try one last stand. Walking forward, you face Maximum Edge, soon to be conqueror of humans.
"Okay, hit me with your best, but no biting, yeah?"
>"Like I'd want to bite a weirdo like you" Max begins to circle around, slowly, and you meet his movement, creating a tense duel atmosphere between you and the other sharks.
>Your eyes meet his, ready to hold against anything he can launch...
>"HAA!"
>...
>You wake up above water. Is it? Yeah, it is.
>Your helmet is off, but the bathing suit remains. It's pretty dark, so it must be night.
>Man, what happened.
>You were facing this Max Edge dude, when all of the sudden, he cried and you... passed out?
>You try to wake up, but a pony hoof obstructs your stomach.
>Not a pony, anyways. Swirl is there, sitting by the bed.
>"Don't move, just sleep."
"...Swirl. What..."
>"Tidal warned you, Anon. Max is very strong. You lost consciousness after one blow" the shark explains. So yeah, you deserved it, yadda yadda.
>It doesn't hurt, fortunately. Maybe it was a shock, or a concussion, but your wits are still on you.
"Where's Tidal?"
>"She went back. Today was my turn in the currents, but I offered to keep guard. She's replacing me."
"That's very kind of you."
>"S-Shut up, idiot!" Swirl says, suddenly bothered for whatever reason. "Why do you keep going from trouble to trouble like this, Anon?"
>You lay in the bed for a few minutes, trying to find the answer.
"I guess it's my nature, I'm kind of what Tidal calls 'a cunt', you see."
>Damn right.
>Another minute of silence.
>"...I don't think you're a cunt, Anon."
"Really? Well, thanks. But I sort of am."
>"I don't get why you laughed at Max like that..."
>Oh yeah, that would take a while to explain.
"That's... something, from my world. His name reminded me of something funny. I couldn't control myself. I'm sorry... I guess."
>"Pfft! Don't be, Max doesn't know when to stop either. Besides..." Swirl begins to crawl up the bed.
>She's very warm, and you're naked save for the trunks.
>Please Luna, let the night cover your boner like a miniature Batman, Swirl's thick legs the figurative skyscrapers of Gotham.
>Her soft skin, the shortest imaginable fur, pressed against yours...
>"...I already said I forgive you, and now friends gotta take care of friends."
>Coming closer, Swirl cuddles dangerously close to you.
>You can even feel her heartbeat, sun fucking dammit.
>"...Anon?"
"Huh?"
>"Is it okay if I sleep here? Its very late..."
>You feign pondering.
"Sure thing, Swirl."
>"Thanks."
>Putting an arm over her shoulders, you and Swirl fall asleep.
>Fuck yeah.
END OF DAY 9
 
DAY 10
>You wake up, early in the morning.
>No choice; your body aches like crazy.
>Oh my god, the sun, the moon, love and friendship, somebody help.
>And there's something on top of you, what the fuck...
>Oh, wait. That's Swirl. Bless her.
>The shark's cute little body rests atop of yours, rising with your breaths, her head buried in your chest.
>Damn she's so cute.
>What's more, her tail is coiled around your right leg, softly, as to not cause discomfort.
>Too bad you're terribly discomforted by the pain in your core.
"...Swirl. Wake up."
>You poke the black and white sharkpony in the sides a bit, hoping you can get some freedom and assert the damage properly.
>It takes quite a while, though. You're not sure you want to wake her up, really. Too cute.
>But she does, with the most lovely expression you've ever seen in one of these little cartoon abominations.
>"...Hmmm, hgg... Morning?"
"Hey."
>Just fuck already; that's what one would say, were one to be watching from an outside perspective.
>"How are you?" Swirl asks, her question dissipating in a slow yawn. Her small shark teeth show in all her glory under her round muzzle.
"I think... I need to get up. My body hurts."
>This alarms her. Swirl gets off you as soon as her reaction time allows.
>"Oh, my goodness! What is it?"
>Thus you may finally allow yourself free breathing and perhaps getting u-
"Ouch! Shit!"
>"Where does it hurt, Anon? Let me see..." Swirl approaches you and touches your abdomen with clumsy hooves, which sends a jolt of pain up your spine, provoking a mild headache.
"Stop, stop!"
>"Wait...!"
>You push the sharkpony's hooves out of your body, but she insists, for some reason wanting to play nurse. This quickly devolves into a petty fight.
>"Jeez, just fuck already."
>Surprised, both you and Swirl look towards the door. Tidal is right there, standing.
>Do you even need the fucking door?
>"Oh... hey, Tidal" Swirl retreats her hooves quickly, with a rather embarrassed face.
"What up."
>"I came here as soon as I got up. Everything alright?" Tidal walks towards you aggressively, sizing you up. You manage to examine your body yourself, with your surgical tier hands, at least compared to their damn hooves.
"I'll survive, don't seem to have any broken bones or anything."
>And damn glad you hafta be.
>"Dude, you got rammed all the way to the wall yesterday, what a fuckin' show" Tidal explains, even as she walks towards the fridge, headfirst scanning for a bottle of juice.
"I got it coming. How are things down there?"
>"Hm? Oh, everything is fine, Max got the talk as usual" your shark friend retells the events that transpired after you passed out, bottle of juice in tail. The damnable fucker won't even use a glass.
>You grab the bottle from her and pour everyone a round. It's real cold, but even this early in the morning, with the sun shining through the windows, you can feel the heat building up, here in this forgotten piece of dirt floating in the Middle of Nowhere, West Equestria.
>"So, what are we going to do today?" Swirl asks, surprising you a bit. Do? The fuck are you going to do with your body battered to pieces?
>"I suggest we lay low for a couple of days. By now the whole kingdom probably knows about Anon, they will want to meet him."
>Ah, yes, the fame you so were expecting to get, but for all the wrong reasons.
>Really, if the sharks can't reverse engineer a way to make their curse disappear, you'll be left where you started, perhaps with a chunk of meat and bone missing from the side.
"I agree. Let's stay here. Swirl, you still got a load of books to go through" you enlighten the little shark, who nods in delight.
>"What about us dude?"
"Dunno. What about us?"
>Tidal taps her sharky chin, eyes rocketing upward. Suddenly, they crash land back.
>"We're gonna train."
>Almost a spit take. Almost.
"Train for what?"
>"To fight, of course!" Tidal exclaims with her hooves in the air, as if it were obvious. "You need to get back at Max for what he did, and I'll help you."
"Likely fucking story, Tidal, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not an athlete."
>"No, but with some tips you can beat him anyway" the shark flails her hooves mockingly.  "We can discuss an easy system of payment in juice."
>Swirl's ears perk up all the way from her position by the books.
>"Can I help train too?"
"Nobody's getting juice as a payment."
>Are you sure you want to live? That's two very pissed off sharkponies in your home right now.
>Damage control, damage control...!
"That's not to say we can't have a glass or two during breaks."
>A couple of 'yay!'s flood your home. Fucking sharks.
 
>Dun dududun dududun dududun...
>Risin' up, back on the street.
>Did my time, took my chances.
>It sure would be easier to concentrate if you weren't singing that song mentally, you absolute fuckwad.
>"Come on, Anon, I know you can put more than that in!"
"Easy to say for you, bitch..."
>"What was that?"
"Nothing."
>While Swirl reads her problems away, you and Tidal practice a very extreme version of throw catch with her ball.
>Seriously, she has so much strength in that tail, sun christ.
>Your body can move, more or less, but you still feel beaten. Why did you agree to train right now?
>Oh right, you didn't, Tidal's a jerk.
>Her throws feel like cannonballs to your frail, primate body.
>After a short time, you're forced to stop and eat. You can't be bothered to give a shit.
>The girls were sweet enough to get you fish, though. You suspect Tidal was the driving force, but beware of Swirl and her rapidly changing moods.
>Which astonishes you, really; she certainly has some self esteem issues, and well, you kinda were her first in a sort of maybe kinda way.
>"I'm going to go check on the library. We reopen tomorrow and I'd like to make sure everything is alright."
>"For real? Give me a break, Swirl, you've been checking every single day!" Tidal moans, laying on whatever little grass there is in the island.
>"Shut up Tidal, I swear one of these days I'm leaving town" Swirl's tone is obviously one of jest, but her friend yelps nonetheless, proving once and for all that these little monsters are as much mare as they are shark.
>Swirl leaves, which allows you to take the high place, in the hammock.
"She's almost finished the first book already, good grief..."
>"Hm? Yea, Swirl likes her reading a lot" Tidal rolls lazily towards your position. It's real cute seeing her advance towards you, like a hellspawned croquette.
"Tidal, can I ask you something about her?"
>"Sure thing."
>Let's hope she doesn't bite your dick.
>"How does Swirl fare in relationships?"
>The loud snort that follows tips you off on the nerve you just hit.
>"Dude, what did she tell you."
"In particular, that she had never been touched in the fin."
>You're not sure to what extent you can confide in another female shark, but these two are pretty tight.
>Tidal facehoofs, clearly dissatisfied.
>"Ugh, what a nutter... Listen, Swirl is really nice, but she and I don't really get with the other sharks."
"Because of your jobs?"
>"Mostly because of our jobs. I don't give a fuck, honest, but Swirl needs some more in her life. She can get pretty sad if you let her go on."
"Duly noted. Anything I can do to help?"
>On one hand, you're genuinely interested on these sharks and their hobbies. No doubt visiting their equivalent of a strip club would be highly entertaining.
>On the other hand, you just tend to get involved in what's clearly none of your business. Old habits die hard.
>Tidal is assuming a new comfort position while she thinks about her friend.
>"I don't know, really. I do what I can to be her best friend, but it's not like we've ever hanged out with other sharks."
"Christ, never ever?"
>"No. Well, I play in the tailball team, but that's merely professional" the way she pronounces those words strikes you as rather funny.
>You lay in the hammock in silence while thinking of sharks and their mating rituals. Maybe it's best you forget about the whole thing and just dedicate your effort to saving their race from oblivion.
>"There she comes. Not a word, Anon, I swear."
"Yes, yes, you'll bite me. Cheerio."
>Tidal, for whatever reason, croquette rolls back to her initial position, like a poor man's James Bond. Swirl arrives to find her place occupied.
"How are things down there, Swirl?"
>"The library is fine" the emerald eyes seem to speak to you, mad as fuck because finder's keepers. "There's a lot of sharks down there asking about you. From all the cities."
"Really? You weren't seen coming back here, right?"
>"Don't worry, they didn't pay me any attention. They never do..." Fuck, stop being so sad, your heart can take so many blows in a short time.
>"Anon, let's go into the water. Let Swirl's place free" Tidal beckons you.
"Excuse me? I didn't know this island was now shark property."
>You enact a mocking jest, to which Swirl grimaces. Soon you're up in your feet, with still a fair deal of pain to the midsection, but generally feeling better.
>The evening goes rather well, although Tidal insist in teaching you a thing or two of shark tussle while you swim together in the warm waters.
>"Thing is" she explains, putting on her best impression of a teacher "in a duel between sharks, usually the first strike decides it all. With the speed we'll get underwater, you can be sure one hit can knock any shark, er, thing off."
"What you're trying to tell me is that I can't get hit, at all?"
>"Das it" cheeky bitch, don't smile so smugly, do you have any idea of what you're saying. "I... know it ain't easy, but maybe if you train your reflexes with me, you'll be able to catch Max off guard."
"How?"
>"I'll go for you, first from far away, then we'll close distance. You focus on dodging. Max is stronger than me, but he ain't faster" with a proud smile, the blue shark jumps skillfully out of the water, only to fall inside and swim a fair distance away.
>"What's happening?" A voice catches you off to the side. Swirl has joined the fray.
"Oh, hey. Tidal wants to train my evasion."
>"Still on that? You're not a shark, you have nothing to prove, you know."
>Perhaps not, but the taste of defeat doesn't linger in sharks alone.
"I can always give it a try. He won't kill me, now will he."
>She shrugs, to your discontent. Bitch, please.
>"Can't say. Max had one or two bad hits to the head. He's not dangerous, but he doesn't know how, or when to stop."
"Yes, yes, I've heard that. Move along a little bit."
>So you signal Tidal to come for you, with an arm thrusted into the sky.
>She's got it, clearly. She's beginning to do a very exaggerated circle around you, in the distance.
>And then, she takes a sharp turn and heads directly for you, half body out of the water, a curtain of the stuff being raised like the water ride of an amusement park.
>Dude, imagine if a whole amusement park could be a waifu.
>Nah, ridiculous. Besides, you gotta focus on the shark.
>It's really intimidating. From the distance you can make her serious expression, her frown, eyes locked on to you.
>It's like a freight train powered by torpedos, a stampede of avalanches, an IBM made of Space Marines.
>Here she comes...
>Any moment now...
>DODGE!
>*crash*
"OoOOoohoHOooo!!"
>"Crap! Anon, are you alright!?"
>"Swirl, come 'ere and help me float him back, he's sinking...!"
>What did you do to deserve this. You just wanted to mess with the ponies.
"Alright... that... enough... today..."
>"I get you. I'm very sorry, dude, I was using no force at all, I swear!"
>How intense can one shark get, good heaven.
 
>The sun is setting, and you calmly instruct your shark carriers to leave you in the grass patch of the island.
>Tidal invites herself and the rest to a glass of juice, of course.
>For once you can watch the moon rise, all together.
>Tidal fixates on that old thing way too much, seriously.
>Well, what gives can take.
"Tidal..."
>"Hm."
"Why do you like watching the moon come up so much?"
>She doesn't answer until the dimly shining orb is in full placement and operative. She then takes her time to look at you.
>"Anon, do me a favor, tell me when have you seen something like this" she points at the moon "down there" then to the sea.
>Fair point, actually. No light reaches down there, other than bioluminiscence.
>So is it just a matter of want?
>Shh, she's talking again.
>"The moon is so important, dude. It helps us direct the current, it lights everything the best she can when there's no sun..."
"I didn't know you had it in you to be a poet."
>Between coughs you sneer, still pained and bothered. But it's too damn funny, you haven't seen old Miss Wave like this since you first met her.
>"Maybe I just like things I can't reach? The moon, other races..."
>"Tidal..." Swirl feels the need to chime in. Did this just become a state of nation talk?
>"Whatever, I like the moon, it's shiny, it's pretty. It won't judge me like the others if I fuck up, or tell me she can't be my friend because of my special talent."
>Ah, now we're talking aces.
"Seems like I have something to brag about when I get back."
>The sharkponies turn to you, confused but intrigued.
"To one shark, I have the same qualities as the moon."
>Just like in your animes, what a corny bastard you are.
>Swirl giggles, perpetuating her tsundere. Tidal smiles at you, her face obscured by the moon behind her.
>"You're not shiny, or pretty."
"Shh, they don't have to know that."
>Laughing and joking some more, the two sharks take their leave, promising to come back as soon as they can.
>You make yourself a decent dinner, to compensate for the fuck awful schedule you've had so far.
>The ponies are taking care of your survival, the sharks give you company.
>Oh yeah, you completely forgot about the diary, didn't you?
>It's as good a night as any other. You sit down by the suitcase and begin to retell the events of the past few days.
>Today has been the tenth day, one third of the way done.
>However, it is beginning to weigh in you the moment when you'll be requested to come back to the mainland.
>Alto is determined to find a cure for their curse from you. The others seem to have taken a liking to you.
>Don't lie, you absolute piece of asshole, you like them too.
>Their customs still elude you a bit, but they seem to be cool underwater romans pretty much, with their politics, forums and battles.
>With thoughts of sharks in ancient armor, you fall asleep, ignoring the pain and tingling sensation all over your body.
>Oh yeah, fucking sharkponies, by the way.
END OF DAY 10
 
DAY 13
>Ho boy, I bet y'all were expecting good old Anon and his wacky shark adventures, ey?
>Well, too bad, because days 11 and 12 are basically a repeat of 10.
>Anon stayed the fuck away from the shark kingdom, while the waters cleared, figurative and literally.
>Ever wondered where do sharks take a shit?
>Maybe we'll find out, if you stick with me.
>Back to the matter, Tidal Wave and Swirl visited Anon and just had a spiffing time chatting, drinking juice and training.
>Oh, Anon is much better now, don't worry. Still a couple bruises here and there, but eh.
>There weren't any interesting talks, really. Anon was interested on what sort of hangouts there are in the shark kingdom.
>Turns out, there are clubs, cafes and other bullshit, all presented in a very sitcom-like fashion.
>On the other end, Swirl asked a buttload of questions about Equestria, having finished one or two books.
>And Anon had the temptation of arranging a witty scheme to get Swirl a date, but he's a pussy and ended up not carrying it out.
>Now that all is well, let us go back to the regular schedule!
 
>Ah, mmm, what a nice morning.
>Now that Tidal and Swirl have organized their visit times, you have green card to sleep.
>Swirl needs to work in the library all the way until the afternoon now, and Tidal still comes around when she pleases, but with more care.
>So you're able to get up calmly, eat well, take a shower, and even tidy up some of the stuff lying around.
>Fucking used clothes, books and splotches of juice everywhere, it's like you're running a daycare.
>But regular daycare customers won't bite your dick for juice, at least not in a christian board.
>Tidal arrives eventually, excited for whatever reason.
>The reason being that the queen has called for you once again. Time for testing.
>"And she's sure that she's got it! You need to come, dude!" She bounces in the flimsy floor of your cabin, her tail rocking a mess on your recently cleaned home.
"Okay, okay, jeez! Just let me get in my diplomatic attire."
>You refer to the trunks, of course. Good thing the crate from the ponies included a few extra.
>"Oh, ohohohohooh! And there's a game of tailball tomorrow, and I'm playing on it! You need to come and watch!"
>Tailball? That could be interesting.
>You weren't a big fan of SOCKER in Earth, but fuck, anything better than another day training your reflexes with Tidal.
>The worst thing is, you can't even say a word to her, since you believe the training to be working.
>You can see her coming now, not always evade, but at least partially avoid the crash.
>In case of emergency, you grab her sides with your bare hands, like a poor man's Steve Irwin.
>With these idle thoughts you come out of the cabin, dressed for royalty, and mechanically head into the water to take the Tidal express, only stop: the palace.
>On your way, you catch a glimpse of the nearest town. There's nowhere a high density of sharks, so the visitors who expected to catch a sight of the rare creature from the surface must have gone away.
>You wouldn't mind the fame, but your body was ready to face the grinder these past few days, fuck it.
>Tidal drops you by the palace and promises to be back soon.
>"I need to check on Swirl, maybe she'll come too!" And with that, you're free to head for the throne room. However, a sharkpony guard stands by the instant you turn away, raising an armor clad leg.
>"The queen has ordered me to show you to the lab" he says, and promptly turns in the proper direction.
>Alto is already waiting for you, but wearing her crown. That means she's in alert mode until you're both left alone.
>She sighs happily when she sees you in through the curtain, her fears gone. Pulling the known lever, you feel the water pressure erased from your body, free to breathe again.
>"Aight, thanks fer coming back. This time I checked with all the top alchemists in the kingdom, and I'm totes sure we got it" she seems very confident in her statement. For whatever reason, your mind is throwing you back to the moment where you were wondering whether or not she has teats.
"Well, let's get it done with. What do I have to drink."
>Alto presents you a bottle with a silvery, bubbling liquid. It honestly looks like pure, molten platinum, fat free and ready to go.
>"We'll find out how to reverse the curse, or you'll die in the attempt."
"Wait, what."
>"Just kiddin', jeez. Drink it up, mussel" the queen urges you to gulp it down, and so you do. It tastes just like a heart attack, fucking hell.
"This is really weird stuff, Alto."
>"Mhm, yeah. Oh, by the way" her eyes lock onto yours, full of a nondescript sorrow. "You might actually die. Sorry."
"Pggght...!"
>You choke on your own saliva upon hearing these words.
>All forgiven, though; the real criminal is right there, in front of you.
"ALTO!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"
>"Not so loud ya little piece of shit!!" The queen replies, but she doesn't have the same drive that compels you to obey every other time. "Listen, we had to use some quicksilver, sulphur, demon barnacle testicles and other crap, and the mix was a bit explosive in the ol' stomach, you know?"
"Oh my god, I can't believe this, you would actually kill me!?"
>"For the sake of my people!!? M-Maybe..." neither of you really knows what to do. Each second weighs heavily in your stomach, now effectively a potential bomb about to explode.
>This is it, isn't it? You're going to die in a random dungeon, miles underwater, your only company an extremely rude shark pony hybrid.
>"Listen, ya dort, the chance is very slim..."
"But you couldn't have told me before, right?"
>"Well, there was the chance that you would say no..." the queen arches her brow in a way that completely rusts your gears.
"Holy fuck de whooping doo shit dip, Alto! You don't say!"
>Every word coming from either of your mouths is making you more and more nervous. Are you safe now? Is the bomb still ticking? Fuck if you care, right now all you can do is mess the queen up as one last act of rebellion.
>"I take all responsibility if you die. We would leave your body ashore..."
"Ah, how very nice, with a little written note: 'We're sorry, but we killed your guy, signed, the fucking invisible sharks you can't even see'!!"
>Alto is not trying to defend herself. Her head hangs from her shoulders, all the way down to your thighs. Whether her eyes are opened or closed, you can't see.
>You want to yell at her some more, but at this point you've said all you would care to in this fleeting moment before your imminent death.
>Exhausted, you drop to the floor. Fuck it, you don't give a damn, die if you have the balls, fucking sharks fuck fuck!
>And then...
>"...Aight. You're safe now, Anon."
>Raising your head, you turn to look at the queen.
>Yep, she's not joking. Great show.
>Christ, you're too wrecked to get up now. Your body falls limp to the cold sandstone floor.
>You cry. A lot.
>It was a bit too much, honestly. Like, the first time, you expected Tidal to bite you right away, before you met her. Then you only blamed yourself.
>Now you don't know who's to blame. The queen? The sharks? Fuck if they would, if you were in their situation you would do the same, everybody's on their own.
>No, as much of a jerk she was, you too are a fellow jerk, you would save your hide at any cost.
>And that's why it hurts so much, because you can't really do anything, just sit in there and take it.
>Something smooth, flowing and cold touches your forehead. Alto's muzzle.
>She kisses you with a tenderness you had not felt in a long time. Like a mother, perhaps. Anyway, it makes you stop crying immediately, whatever the forces.
>"I'm sorry. This will be over soon" your arm raises. A sting, a drop of blood collected. Alto prepares to do her test while you recover, slowly.
>It feels like a bad dream, but sure enough, you were taken by the force, brought to Equestria, then told you don't fit. Then you met the sharkponies, who willingly tried to kill you for their sake.
>Hero or villain? Fuck knows.
>As you get up, shaky but recovered, you see Alto perform her comparisons, surrounded by bottles.
>One such bottle falls to the ground. It's empty, but that doesn't stop the glass from spreading.
>The shark is shaking. Wildly.
"...Alto?"
>"...Can't be. Why..." oh bugger me, don't tell me she's the one crying now. With careful steps, you approach the mare where she stands.
>Yep, the unexpected may sometimes happen. Alto stands in front of her lab equipment, completely defeated by her own existence.
>Tears more pure than newborn pearls adorn and disgrace her countenance. Her eyes are clench shut in a grimace of pure pain.
>"I thought I had it. I thought we had it..." she won't stop repeating the same expressions over and over. Fuck, should you...?
>Yeah, you definitely should. You carefully wrap an arm around her long neck, under the crystal clear mane.
"Well... you tried your best."
>"It wasn't enough" she mutters, sobbing softly. "It wasn't enough..."
>Damn, just a moment ago you wanted to kick her in the cunt.
>That only further proves that living creatures will do whatever it takes to strive.
>"It always comes back to this, always" her head aims for her flank, and you observe her cutie mark, one of many times: a shining, golden trident. You presume it's the one that got used in acts of mumbo jumbery and isolated the sharks. "It might be anywhere..."
"I... I'm still here, you know."
>And you're a real fuckwad, you know what.
>You only do this for yer mum, she taught you to help those in need. Bless you, mum.
>Alto turns to you, her cheeks a valley being silently erased by a river of tears.
>"I... thanks, Anon. I'll have to think of something new..." seems like her official voice is actually her sad voice, because there's no hint of the cheeky breeky brah you're used to in her at the moment.
"At least tell me if you're going to kill me, so that I can write a proper note."
>You're taking this a tad lightly.
>But hell, it is worth only to see the queen of the sharkponies smile at you once again.
>"Okay, Anon, enough for today... have fun with my children."
"I hope 'children' is figurative."
>Another chuckle. You're such a womanizer, you silly ape.
 
>Donning your bubble helmet, back into the cold, watery abyss of palace, you meet with Tidal and improvise a well tailored retelling of the events that transpired.
"...and now she needs to find something new to try" your explanation obviously upsets the little shark, but she takes it all in stride. You should see, Tidal, what really happened before you judge. Christ in heaven, you're too human for this.
>"Well, I'm sure things will happen one way or another. You're here, that's what keeps us all fired up right now" winking, she swims around you as you exit palace. "Whatchu wanna do today?"
"I don't know, is Swirl free?"
>"No! I dunno where she's gone, but after her library shift was over, she just, disappeared, or somethin'!"
"Is that odd?"
>"Well yea, I mean, whatever business she had to do, she sure didn't tell me, and that's worrying enough" the sharkpony uses her hooves to great effect to express her emotions, as her back legs and tail do the swimming job. Her figure passes in front of you every once in a while, always with a different pose.
"Well, she's your friend, not your wife, sheesh..."
>"But you don't get it, dammit!" Tidal has a mini breakdown. "She always tells me everything!"
"Calm your teats, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."
>You're obviously pulling it out of your ass, like you have any idea of what that shark is all about.
"Okay, so what should we do?"
>"How about I show you around town?" Tidal presents her idea. In fact, you've noticed several big buildings here and there and over, and it's piquing your curiosity.
>You accept your shark pal's offer, and soon you're getting a tour of all the major streets and places in Tidal's hometown, generically named Coral East.
>"...This is the market street, the houses over there have the most plantations in town" the little shark excitedly explains everything, pointing everywhere with all her available limbs. "There in the back is the court, that's where I work. Oh! And that's the stadium! We play there tomorrow" she tells you as both of you approach which is by far the largest building in town.
>A towering colosseum, oval and open in the top. Thee are multiple entrances, holes in the walls from where sharks exit and enter, not many of them at ground level. Racist, das racist.
>"Come! I'll get you inside" Tidal offers her front hooves.
"Sure thing, I always want to come inside."
>You can't help but laugh, like the kid you are, at your own epic reference. Tidal doesn't get it, bless her. You take her hooves and promptly enter the stadium.
>The inside is pretty much like a football field, except the goals are floating at about the midsection of the terraces' height, being held by rocky weighs. They're massive, too, and square rather than rectangular. Several sharks are swimming around in groups, exercising and practicing with more of those sun damn balls that look like regurgitated kelp.
>As fate would have it, Maximum Edge is there, too. And as fate would have it, he sees you coming immediately.
>He's hauling some balls, by that you mean tailball apparel.
>Do male sharkponies have horse dicks of shark dicks? Oh giddy, go figure who you can ask about that.
>Max approaches immediately, his eyes squinted. The way he waves around is creepy as hell.
>Fortunately, Tidal is right there to offer resistance, and you're soon left floating in the middle of the stadium, struggling to stay up.
>"Max, I swear to the queen, if you even dare touch Anon again..."
>"Chill, Tidal, fuckin' shit ey!" What a charming gentleshark. "I just wanted to apologize!"
>"Uh? Oh, ah, okay, I guess. Anon?" Tidal turns to face you, but it's too late, you're slowly sinking. She runs to your rescue, but you point at the ground to signal that you'd very much rather be down there.
>Finally, sweet ground. You can't live without the stuff.
"I heard you, Max. What did you want?"
>The brown shark is caught a bit off guard. He stammers a bit before properly addressing you.
>"S-So yeah, I didn't realize how hard I hit you yesterday, and, and..." a small crowd of sharks is gathering around you and Max. It must be a real show to see him brought down like this. "I'm sorry. Yeah."
"Alright, apology accepted. I'm sorry too, for laughing at you. I'll tell you the joke one of these days, okay?"
>As a repeat of the other time, you extend your hand, Max looks around and offers his hoof. The two finally connect, eliciting a cheer from a few sharks.
>"Good grief, thank the moon this is over" Tidal slides a hoof across her face. You gotta love these crazy ass cartoon motherfuckers.
>"Hey, is it true that the queen and you found a way to reverse the curse?" A new shark, a sky blue mare, asks. They all are paying close attention to you now.
"We are working on it. I'm sure the queen will let you know as soon as we find it."
>Another cheer. If they only knew what just happened this morning.
>Still, you can forgive Alto, these sharks depend on her, and potentially you, to escape a terrible fate.
>"Are you coming to practice, Tidal?" Max asks your dark colored friend.
>"I guess I can give it a whirl. Anon, is it okay if we stay here?"
"What time is it?"
>"Still a few hours short of night."
"Go ahead then."
>A few sharks disperse, while you swim to the bleachers, helped by a bunch of other spectators.
 
>Evening goes by just fine, damn, Tidal is a beast when it comes to juggling balls.
>Seems to you she should be the captain, but it's Max of unlimited Edge who carries the team.
>Truth be told, you know nothing about the sport, but he seems to be doing a good job.
>A bunch of sharks and you cheer them up from the steps. Every now and then they ask you the usual questions.
>What are you, where do you come from, are the ponies still alive.
>Your retelling of the events that led to you being a permanent member of Equestrian society  amazes the sharks, who treat you much like a celebrity.
>Can you blame them, you were born a smooth fucker.
>At some point during the training, Swirl makes her cameo.
"Where you been? Tidal was looking for you."
>"Really? Oh, well, I was, um, taking care. Of things" the little shark answers in a very non convincing way, her eyes darting around as if to make it completely evident that she's got a shady business going on.
>While the affairs of this seemingly innocent fish interest you, the tailball team is about to end their training, and an exhausted Tidal swims slowly towards you.
>"Swirl! Dammit girl, where you been today? You just keep disappearing every now and then."
>"Hey Tidal, how was the training?" Nice deflecting, you massive, puffy cunt.
>"Eh, it was fine. I give it a fair shot tomorrow. Anon, you'll come and watch, right?" The way she asks sounds more like an order than an invitation. The shark teeth and slit pupils don't help.
"Sure, just send Swirl to me tomorrow."
>"Hey, I'm not a courier" the black shark protests, crossing her arms. "Besides, I work all morning."
>"Nevermind that, Anon, I'll come pick you up myself" Tidal replies, circling you slowly. Sun dammit, they won't stop doing it.
"Alright, then how about we hang out in the surface."
>You're wary of other sharks finding your island, but looking around, you notice you've been left alone with the girls. Well lucky that.
>Saying goodbye to the other sharks in the field, Tidal and Swirl help you reach the surface, taking a detour on purpose to confuse potential followers.
>Above the sea level, everything is as boring as you left it. You and the sharks partake of fish for dinner, some strawberry juice and, of course, a healthy dose of watching the moon rise.
>Suddenly, a sharp stripe of light tears the horizon in half.
>"Whooa, shit!"
>That was a lightning alright, and pretty close, by the looks of it. The following thunder confirms that there's a storm a brewin'.
>Then again, last time the storm didn't graze you. Tropical climate is prone to being a fickle bitch.
>"Will you be alright, Anon?" Swirl asks, nuzzling your arm. Honestly? If she keeps going at it you'll have a heart attack, so no, not alright.
"Eh, I'll brave it like anything else. Don't worry."
>"You couldn't brave a whirlpool in a bottle" Tidal mocks you.
"You're on, bitch. Tomorrow you'll regret those words."
>Laughing, Tidal and Swirl set for the sea, sending you their goodbyes.
>Still, you really do hope the storm won't come close. That's the second time in, what, seven days?
>Worried within reason, you update your journal and go to bed, a second tuple of thunder and lighning reaching your senses before they fall.
END OF DAY 13
 
DAY 14
>"IT'S MATCH DAAAAY!"
"Fuck, shit, wha-!?"
>You could have prevented this.
>The Pony Scrolls foretold of her arrival, in their tongue she's cunt, the disturber of dreams.
>Her cheeky face, a smile full of serrated teeth, plastered on the single window in your hut, eyes fully open, pupils round and shaky.
>"COME THE FUCK OUT, ANON! And bring the juice!"
>Sun fucking dammit Tidal, one of these days, straight to the moon.
>With trouble, you get up, even as the sharkpony bangs on your window.
>What's stopping them from entering, anyway? She does it all the time.
>Approaching the window, you signal Tidal to enter. She seems confused, looking to her sides with maniacal conviction. Then she turns around and heads for the door.
>Falling in a chair, you wait patiently for her arrival. And thank the sun you're still half asleep, else you'd be laughing.
>Tidal is wearing a strange sort of bodysuit, made of what honestly seems like charred bacon, but of a bright yellow color. It's like she's wrapped in the stuff.
>"I went ahead and got dressed for the match. What do you think?" The little shark asks, expectant.
>You take another good look at her. Well, it doesn't look THAT bad.
"It's... weird. I've never seen that kind of clothing before."
>"It's very resistant stuff" Tidal explains, parading her booty before your eyes. Bitch, please. "It's like I'm wearing nothing at all."
"I'll vouch for that."
>"By the way, there's another of those big wooden things outside" Tidal points at the door.
>Oh, so the ponies left you another crate, huh? You can barely finish the food they leave you for a week, at this rate you'll end up having to throw some away.
"I'll take care of that later I guess..."
>"Whatcha waitin' for, you? Eat already, and let's go!" She's getting in your nerves, more than usual, you mean.
"Wait, wait... when do you play again?"
>You need to support your head with your hands. It's too fucking early for this bullshit.
>"Lemme see... kinda half a day from now."
>You take another look outside. The sun's barely coming up. If this was the mainland you would expect a rooster to liven things up with his stock sound effect.
"Tidal..."
>"Yes?" The shark plants her face right next to yours with a smile.
"Get the fuck out."
>Her smile drops faster than McDonalds stocks after closing a locale in NY.
>"B-But..."
"It's too damn early and I got nothing else to say. Back to the ocean with you."
>You get up from the chair and make the terrifying trip to the bed. Ugh.
>Tidal looks at you with infinite sadness, the embodiment of a cold, hopeless ocean.
>"I... Okay then. See you later" turning around, the shark makes her walk of shame, head dropped, tail dragging across the floor. Hey, thanks for sweeping.
>But still... damn, you can't be that heartless, can you?
>First things first, your head falls with a heavy sound in the designated pillow.
>That's more like it. Shit, you just told Tidal off, you asswipe.
"Tidal!"
>"...what" ah good, she's still there. You take a deep breath.
"Sorry for that. I didn't mean to be rude. Why don't you have a glass of juice while I wake up?"
>Audible gasp all the way from the door, and the thunderous sound of pony hooves running to the fridge. Classic shark behavior.
>It takes more than a while, but Tidal doesn't complain, or say anything, for the matter. She just sits there and takes it, the juice, you mean.
>Finally, you awaken with the gentleness of a dam breaking.
>"Want fish?" Tidal offers, her smile back in full swing.
"For breakfast? God, no. Then again, there is no God in Equestria."
>You're getting too philosophical in the mornings, my good sir. Just eat a yogurt.
>Also allowing Tidal to pour herself another half glass of juice. These sharks are fucking junkies, you swear.
"I hope spending so much time underwater doesn't hurt me in the long run..."
>"What could possibly happen? I've lived there all my life and here I am" is she even trying?
"Now that you say that... how old are you and Swirl?"
>It just dawned on your heavily sedated, morning glorified mind that you don't know the ages of your friends.
>"I'm eighteen, dude. Swirl is twenty."
>Nice, they're of age. Well, whatever the age of consent for sharkponies is.
>Also, Swirl is the older sister. Not a surprise, but Tidal doesn't really appear that young. Perhaps because she's rowdy like an old ass biker dude.
>That reminds you that you'll never see Motörhead in concert ever again.
>"...Uh, Anon? Are you okay?"
>Crap, you let a single tear fall. This is for you, Lemmy.
"I'm alright. Help me open the crate, and then we can get going."
>"Yeaaa, boiii" Tidal springs from her seat, the glass of juice thoroughly emptied. Back to the ocean, and a few minutes later she's back with a metallic trident, ready to open the supplies.
>At least you don't have to pay for a key, fucking microtransactions.
>Thanks to her excitement, you manage the contents of the wooden box in no time. All sorted out, you invite Tidal to wait outside while you don the immortal Trunks of +5 to Swimming.
>Completing the outfit with your respirator helmet, you let Tidal bring you down to Coral East, from where you head for the library.
>Nothing wrong in checking with your other bestie while you're here. It's not like you got much to do, but Tidal's an insistent bitch.
>The inside of the library is well organized, allowing for rows and rows of shelves with books, scrolls and all the paraphernalia.
>Their paper is made out of a strange kelp that stays rigid underwater, but it can be very brittle if not treated with care. Swirl showed you once of those lazy days during training.
>You almost wrecked the scroll she brought you, thank the sun it was a blank one.
>Swirl is at the front of a neatly placed reception desk. With her glasses on, her mane discreetly combed behind her ears, she definitely looks the part.
>"Hey, Tidal! Anon, you came to visit!" Without raising her volume too much, the pink haired shark greets you both with a smile from ear to ear.
"Hi, Swirl. How are things today?"
>"Slow as always" Swirl points a hoof at the main room of the library. There's three sharks tops using the clay and sand tables, another couple having a whispered conversation by the corner, and looking at you every now and them. Fame don't come easy.
>"You'll get out in time for the game, right?" Tidal pushes you to the side. Her excitement hasn't left her yet, you have yet to hope she doesn't burn out before the match.
>"You can count on me, silly" Swirl raises a hoof, which her friend matches, slowly as to not make any noise. Huh, so even Tidal can keep quiet in a library.
>"Awesome. I need to use the little sharks' room, be right back" Tidal darts past you, to the opposite end of the building.
>Bathroom, eh? You have no idea how that works for sharks. Do they just have a hole in the ground, or a proper system of pipes and water? In your mind, that sounds redundant, given the geographical position of their civilization.
>"You got up pretty early today, Anon" Swirl looks at you with interest and a cute smile. You reach with a hand and pet the side of her face.
"You know how Tidal is, I had no choice."
>"Heh, yeah, I saw it coming" the shark replies, half closing her eyes and nuzzling into your hand. That's it, you little slut, nuzzle that hand good.
>Casually, you boop her in the muzzle. She srunches for a second, her eyes losing focus.
>"Oi."
"Sorry. Just wanted to see how you react."
>"Don't do it with Tidal, she'll bite you up to the shoulder."
>Chuckling softly, you boop the shark again. This time she sees it coming, but the scrunching is unstoppable. Christ, what a change of pace.
>As much as you'd like to have her here and now, there's something you're more curious about.
"Is it okay if I use the bathroom, or is that sharks only?"
>"Of course not, you idiot. Go to the end of that hallway, then turn right" Swirl gestures for you to make your way to the crapper. Truth is, you're fine right now.
>You've never done your business here underwater, that's why you got a nice little pot in the cabin that you make sure to empty regularly.
>No, the reason for you to inspect the facilities is other.
>The fabled right turn arrives, and you're faced with two curtains, one for mares and other for stallions. Shark stallions. Whatever.
>Looking to your sides, you make sure no other sharks are nearby.
>The reason being, you're not exactly aiming for the gentlecolt's half.
>No, you're going to get back at Tidal for this morning, the only way you know. The way of the jerk.
>The mares' bathroom is clean, neat and smells like soft disinfectant. Just like Earth, then.
>There are quite a few walled stalls, only one of them in use. That's your shark right there.
>Tidal is whistling a tune, how she can blow air underwater is completely beyond your logic. But it works so long as she doesn't see you arrive.
>There's a very narrow slit between the curtain and the wall of the toilet. That means you can safely take a peek at her.
>You need to make it obvious to her, you want her to notice.
>Placing the helmet directly against the slit, you take a good look at your friend and, and... why hello there.
>You're no voyeur, but... Scratch that, you're a voyeur, you nasty little prick.
>The scientific part of you takes over and observes how the golden liquid seems to be absorbed by forces unknown amidst the water that surrounds everything.
>Huh, that totally explains everything, fucking dammit.
>You're getting strong doubts now, almost as if you'd rather watch your friend do her number one and run away before she notices.
>But no, as delectable as her pussy looks, you're here for a different reason. Clearing your throat, you let out a fake, yes, 'fake' pervert laugh.
"Hu... hu, hu..."
>Tidal reacts immediately. Her eyes lock onto yours immediately, her pupils contracting beyond rational measure.
>"What the...!?"
"Hu hu hu..."
>She's shaking wildly in her stall, a nicely crafted clay pot. All her hooves move towards the legendary shark cunt, to cover her weakness.
>"A-Anon!? What the fuck!?"
>You don't answer, simply keep staring at her, raising little pervert laughs and snorts. Tidal's face is unreadable, you bet she wants to bite your legs off but also she's caught in the moment and her brain went shut.
>"Anon, this isn't funny, ya fucking idiot!"
>You're about to reply with yet another laugh, when you hear a noise nearby. Some other female shark is crossing the curtain to enter the bathroom.
>Shit! This is where the joke goes too far, you can't let other sharks see you 'stalking' one of their kind in the bathroom...!
>Sadly, only one solution comes to you in time. Your fucks at an all time negative, you cross the curtain of the bathroom stall and end up in front of Tidal.
>"WHATmmmpf...!!" With smooth hands, you cover your friend's muzzle and signal to the side wildly, giving her a savage look of 'I dun fucked up'.
>Just in time, the uninvited shark enters the stall right next to yours. You can hear her possibly plump ass sit in the clay pot with a watery thud.
>Tidal gives you the most terrifying look of your life. Yes, yes, you messed things big time, but please don't say anything.
>Then her mouth opens. Her sharp teeth glisten under the bathroom biolights.
>Holy shit nononono...!
>Just when you believe she's going to closer her mouth around your hand, her long, thick tongue sticks out and gives you a lick.
>Two more seconds and you would have fainted, good lord.
>Tidal looks at you with the cheekiest available expression. Just then, the other shark finishes her business and leaves the stall. You retire your hand and fall against the bathroom wall.
>"...I hate you so much" Tidal says, still covering her naughty bits with her hooves.
"Yeah, yeah... nice pussy, by the way."
>"J-Just get out of here before I bite you for real!" You don't need to hear it twice. That was a piss poor attempt, Anon, you're losing your edge.
>At least you can go and ask Max for some, hehey!
>Back with Swirl, who's none the wiser, you both await for Tidal to come back. Neither of you mentions a thing of what just happened, and the morning goes by nicely, having a chat with the librarian.
>You wanted to check the books out, but turns out that sharks have a different alphabet and phonetic system, which magically correlates to English somehow.
>God you're so fucking sick of cartoons.
 
>You and Tidal leave the library first, with the promise that Swirl will be present at the game. There's still a fair deal of time, so the shark invites you to lunch.
>It takes a while of talking at the restaurant, but you're granted access to a secluded room with the same system that Alto's lab has, to drain the water from it. That way you can eat normally.
>The downside being, said room is actually a storage, and the table you're eating on, a bunch of cardboard boxes. Whatever their equivalent of cardboard is.
>"Dammit Anon, why can't you just eat like the rest of us."
"Are you dense, Tidal, or just stupid?"
>With these and more riveting compliments, lunch goes by. They serve you a series of dishes with algae and raw fish.
>Almost like sushi, but without rice. There's something else in them, though.
"Hey Tidal, what's this yellow stuff?"
>"That's rice."
>Mother fucking sushi.
"Anyway, why don't we go over the rules of tailball? I think it's very similar to another sport I had in my world, but I want to make sure I know when to cheer for you."
>"Mm! Daf vewy eefy!" Jesus christ, Tidal, the etiquette for eating and blowing is swallow first, talk later.
>Tidal explains the rules of this mystic little sport to you. They're actually very similar to those of football, without the boring parts like offsides or even having a border to the field. The whole ocean is their border.
>Before you know it, lunch time is over, and Tidal is carrying you to the stadium. There's quite the influx of sharks coming into the massive building, a number of them swimming and having their kicks on the outside.
>There's little ones too, coming with their parents or in groups. The lovely little monsters, some of them gasp when they see you come.
>It's a welcome change of pace from all these other times you've been to sharkland, where there wasn't definitely all that much people.
>Some of the sharks notice you immediately, and queue around once Tidal places you in the bleachers, in a rather nice spot just  short of the midfield.
"Alright, alright, there's enough of me for all of you. Figuratively, that is, keep those maws away."
>"Hey, hey, are you cheering for Coral East in the match?" A random sharkmare asks you. Without hesitation, you place an arm around Tidal's shoulders.
"That's right, I'm here to support my OG Tidal."
>Many of the sharks cheer and talk to each other enthusiastically. Meanwhile, it seems like your friend would like a release from your grip.
>"Okay dude, I better go meet the team. Everyone, be nice to Anon, if I get a single complaint from him I'll hit you with the full weight of the law."
>Throwing a menacing glare at the circle of sharks around, Tidal takes off at ramming speed for what you assume are the dressing rooms.
>Around you, the sharks are suddenly putting some distance between yourself and them.
>"C-Can she do that?"
>"No way, he's not a shark, right?"
>Their desperate mutterings make your heart grow three sizes, and that's just today.
"Don't worry you guys, we can all watch the game together, as long as you don't EUGHH ACK...!"
>As soon as you give them permission, the sharks all hurry to get a seat right beside you, with the subsequent squashing of your person.
>A shower of excited voices and insults directed at each other reach your ears, but among them a familiar voice trying to find her place.
>"E-Excuse me... if you don't mind... ah, sorry..."
>Yeah, no way Swirl is making her way towards you among this ball of adorable, assassin creatures.
>Raising an arm, you try to call for her. Seconds later a very familiar hoof grabs it. Bless her and her hugs.
>Pulling down, you bring the black and white shark towards you.
>"Oh, thank the queen, Anon!"
"The queen ain't done a thing, girl, it's all me."
>You give Swirl a quick hug and push aside some sharks to let her sit down. Multiple cries of disappointment are heard, and the rest of the organic cloud clears, the noname sharks taking their places around you.
>More and more of the little shits are entering the stadium, filling the terraces up. Just then, sharks with trays hanging off them begin to roam the stadium.
>"Oh! Do you want anything to eat, Anon?" Is this bitch serious? You give her a very sarcastic look. "Oh, ah... of course. The helmet. Sorry" Swirl smiles meekly and calls one of the vendors anyway.
>She buys what seems to be a large fried shrimp on a stick. How these monsters can fry stuff and enjoy it underwater, you don't want to know.
>At the very least, you allow yourself to enjoy watching this cute little shark eat the shrimp, enveloping her muzzle around it and chewing with her sharp teeth.
>Your heart can't grow any more sizes today, nuoh gawd.
>Swirl notices you looking. Her cheeks turn slightly red and she stops chomping on the stick.
>"W-What?"
"You are cute, Swirl. Cute."
>The red on her cheeks intensifies massively. Avoiding meeting your gaze, she focuses on the food. You couldn't have it any other way.
>Finally, the teams make their entrance from holes in the lower side of the opposite wall. First is the East team, led by Max Edge, with Tidal a close second. A whole eighteen sharks, ten players plus benchwarmers.
>The other team, which Swirl informs you is from Pearl South, a nearby town, dresses in elegant purple and seems to be mostly comprised of males, as opposed to the nearly equal split in Tidal's team.
"Swirl, what's the physical difference between male and female sharks?"
>"The difference...? I guess females have better directional control and speed, while males have more strength and bite. Is that what you wanted?"
>You nod. So basically, the opposing team is full murderhobo mode.
>Swirl finishes her shrimp, and without remorse, gets another one. She's brought this little pink purse to buy stuff, and you manage a glimpse of the currency: carved pearls.
>That isn't ludicrously inflated or anything. A pearl is probably worth the spectacle of your monochromatic friend fattening on shrimp with a lovely expression in her face. Bitches be riches, as they say.
>The teams take their positions in the field. Another few sharks, sporting comically oversized, black and white striped hats and large seashells, take their positions as referees. One for each goal, and another with the teams on the field.
>The main ref holds one of the kelp balls, ready to toss it
>All the sharks in the stadium are silently expecting the beginning of the match. Then, the shell is sound, the ball tossed upward, and the bleachers erupt.
>What an exhilarating feeling. It's been long since you went autistic on a stadium. Today, the sharks will know the full extent of your lack of shame.
 
"GO, TIDAL! YOU FEISTY PIECE OF SHIT!!"
>You just don't know when to stop, do you.
>The first fifteen minutes have gone by, and the score is already 3-2 to the East team.
>That's yours, by the way.
>The sharks around flail their hooves and tails wildly, some not even bothering to sit down, hovering just right above the seat.
>Swirl is on her fifth fried shrimp. Her manners went out of the picture as soon as the horn sounded, but then again, so did yours.
>"WOHOO! Go East! Fuckin' cunts!" Your friend cheers with the rowdiness you would expect of the queen herself.
>Then again, why isn't she watching the...?
>No wait, there she is.
>way above, in a special terrace separated from the rabble, Alto is enjoying the match without sparing a move or sound, keeping her regal persona on at all times.
>That must be very frustrating, she should be enjoying herself.
>Just so happens that her eyes find yours among the confusion. She finally realizes who she's looking at.
>To make your point across the stadium, you close your eyes and shake your head. When you open them again you're met with a very embarrased shark queen.
>Yep, she would rather be in the middle of the rave. What a sad life.
>"Mmmph, chomp...! Fuck, these are good!" Swirl mutters to herself, eyes locked on the terrifying ballet of swimming expertise that unfolds before you.
>Truly, these sharks can and will get serious when there's competition. The eighteen main players roam around the stadium, going as far as to completely pass the steps.
>The ball suffers a terrible beatdown, being tossed, juggled and stolen from shark to shark, an almost too fast to see blur moving across the arguably obscured stadium.
>Max and Tidal sure carry that team, though. They each scored one goal, some noname cunt the third. However, the South team pulls an amazing play, and the score settles at 3-3.
>The match continues, none of the teams giving a single inch of territory. If you were in the middle of that maelstrom, fuck, you'd rather be dead.
>"This sucks, they're too strong..." Swirl remarks.
"Tidal will pull through in the end, I'm sure."
>No, you're not sure, but Swirl smiles at you with perhaps a bit more confidence.
>Just then, something bumps into you from the other side.
>"This is so scary! Hold me!" The shark right beside you moans, and lies against your body.
"What the fuck, girl?"
>Beside her, another female shark looks pissed as fuck as her friend stealth hugs you.
>Oh, so that's it. Damn son, you're getting them all.
>But Swirl...?
>"..."
"...Eh..."
>"Nevermind" the monochromatic shark turns around, sparing you her menacing face.
>Just then, the shark who's hugging you reaches a certain sacred place in your body with her hooves.
"HEY!"
>"You're right, you're right, he's got one under that thing!" Your admirer soon scurries away behind her friend, giggling and chatting like the turbosluts they are.
>Without rest, you hear a snicker from the other side.
"Couldn't you have told me?"
>"Heheh, you got so baited, Anon" Swirl giggles to herself. You pull her towards you to engage in your Navy Seals certified attack snu-snu. "O-Oi."
"Shut up and let's watch. And stop eating, you'll get fat."
>"Buh."
>First half ends, with a disappointing result of 3-5 to South.
>"They're having so much trouble to break the defensive line" Swirl comments, safely tucked in your arms.
>Sharks around you, mostly the females, give you moderately sad glares. unfortunately, you only have so many fingers.
"We can only cheer harder then. Don't you guys make the wave or anything?"
>"The... wave? What's that?" The emerald eyes look up to yours with a single glint of hope. Not even two.
>Wait, these guys live under the sea, and they don't know what the wave is?
>Ho boy, they're in for a show.
>Using the 20 minutes of break wisely, you gather the closest sharks and explain to them what the wave is, urging them to pass the memorandum to the others nearby.
>In time for the teams to come back into the field, you're pretty sure every single shark in your side of the steps got the message.
>And the second half begins. With a roar, the whole colosseum shakes, hundreds of sharks fighting to make themselves heard.
>But your side is noticeable more careful, all the sharks excitedly waiting for the first coordinated cheering effort in tailball history.
>The sharks on the far end of your side finally begin: with a heavily increasing "ooooOOOO..." they rise and fall as their turn approaches, vaguely following your instructions.
>But it works; by the time the wave reaches you and Swirl, it's on full motion, moving fast across the stadium, a full stereo cheer that catches the attention of everyone: the players, the refs, the fans of the opposing teams.
>At the end, everyone in your half of the stadium cheers loudly, with great success.
>The match even stops for a second, that was a bit too much. You pat Swirl and some other sharks.
"Good job, everyone. We need to do at least four or five more of those."
>Raising an arm, you try to catch the attention of the sharks at the beginning, and so another wave starts. The match resumes with the supporters of East going mental with their cheers.
>And surely enough, Tidal soon manages to score another one. Darting between the defenders, turning so fast that some players lose their orientation, she shoots the ball with her tail and hits the net right across the upper left corner.
>Your side of the terraces bursts with happiness. 4-5.
>"She did it! We need to keep cheering, Anon!" Swirl turns to you with her hooves covering her mouth, excited as all hell, her tail rocking to the sides.
>Every now and then, you're sure some of your team's players are looking at their fans, maybe expecting another display of fancy love. They're so needy.
"Hmm..."
>Relaxing in the seat, you try to think of other noble acts of choreographed noise that you learned in the old faithful.
>Of course! So simple, yet so effective. No team could lose while backed by this...!
>Gathering your closest circle of sharks again, you explain them what they have to do. Soon the order is being passed to the ends of the bleachers, but you don't need to wait.
>The South fans are shaking in terror when they see so many sharks give each other instructions. And then, you, Swirl and the other closeby sharks begin to rock a sequence of beats, one that's well known in your world.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tJYN-eG1zk
>Soon, more sharks join, the combined noise of their widdle legs kicking seat carrying enough wave across the entire stadium to be heard.
>Rising up, you observe the completely out of place expression in Alto's face, as well as the sheer terror in the South players and fans.
>With two hands up and no shame for yourself, you proudly sing the lyrics to this timeless anthem of victory, the song of your people. Fucking bitch ass sharks never heard of Freddie Mercury, for shame.
>By the time the first 'we will rock you' comes up, almost the entire half of the stadium is making the emblematic beat, some sharks clapping their hooves for the third beat, some chattering their strong teeth for a higher sound.
>Under these conditions, it's no wonder that the entire East team feels a nondescript vigor, a newfound strength that pushes them against the tide of their enemies.
>The second chorus arrives.
"Sing it!"
>"We will, we will rock you!" A couple dozen of sharks reply.
"Can't hear you!"
>"We will, we will rock you!!" Now it's closer to a hundred.
>Max and Tidal engage in a sick game of passing, soon enough the former finds a spot in heaven to pierce with his shining drill.
>The score is now tied to 5, and the fateful moment arrives.
>The third chorus is over, and placing a foot in the head of another shark, you elevate to untold heights of autism as your arms perform the, before only spoken in legends, underwater air guitar.
"Waaaaoh, waoh waoh, wawawaah wah wah wah...!" You try  your best at imitating Brian May's faith inducing solo, a disgusting replica coming out of your lungs. No matter, it's enough to keep the sharks fired up.
>Cheers of all tones and colors come and go as you perform your cacophony of a rendition. In time for the final note, Tidal makes a hell of a pass, giving the spot to her partner, who gets the ball in the net easy.
>Another roar. You rest your ass in the seat, as water drags you down. Sharks all around you approach from their seats and compliment you.
"And that, my children, is the power of Queen. Not your queen, but a more conceptual one."
>"That was so awesome, I've never had this much fun in a match!" A background shark comments.
>"And aren't you gonna apologize, shithead?" The dude whose head got stomped during your inspirational ballad turns around to complain.
"Oops, sorry about that. Belly rubs?"
>You offer your hands with an idiotic smile.
>"Ugh... no, thanks."
>Easy win.
 
>As easy as a win for Tidal and her gang of ball tossing bastards, anyway. The match closes on a 6-5.
>The Pearl South players were defeated even before the horn sounded. They march towards the dressing rooms with gloomy faces.
>Meanwhile, the heroes of the match, namely you and the players, are being showed in praise.
>"That was so cool! Tell us more about your world!" That, and other stuff they ask of you, making a sphere of attention around you and your friends.
>"Okay dudes, enough. Let Anon have a rest" Tidal interjects, still dressed in her sports attire, a ball playing back and forth between her hooves.
"That's okay Tidal. I'll come around more often if you sharks are interested."
>"Do you have any stories about underwater cities?" Some pink and yellow cunt asks.
"Oh boy, you don't know the half of it."
>Not to mention the concept of 'video games'.
>The sharks force you to willingly accept their invitation to a bar. Inside, there's already a ruckus, spherical bottles and cups tossed all around the underwater environment.
>It's a neat little place, more like a pub, as demonstrated by the copious amounts of beverage in everyone's table.
>After you and your little entourage have come, other East players join the party, including Max, who offers you a hoof bump as a sign of gratitude.
>"Dude, that song was, like, boom bitch!" He so cleverly describes your homage to the greatest hits of Earth. You nod nonchalantly, just letting the male shark rave on.
>"C'mon Anon, there's gotta be a way you can drink with us! Take the helmet off!" Tidal insists, tugging on your arm and making pouty faces.
"Sheesh Tidal, fuck if I know! Go ask Swirl if there's a way!"
>"There isn't, I checked" your blackie friend answers.
"Where did you get another fried shrimp?"
>Amazed at the stick she holds in her hooves, you behold as Swirl points in the direction of the bar. Surely enough, there's trays and trays of the stuff, sun fucking dammit.
"I'm going to have to eat one of those one day... d-day..."
>"Anon?"
>What's happening.
>It's becoming hard to breathe, why...
>Your hands move on their own, tapping the bubble helmet, realizing just now that your time is growing thin.
>The fucking thing ran out of air! Now, of all times!
>"Anon! What's wrong, is it the helmet?" Tidal and Swirl launch headfirst for you, holding your head in place as it beings to spin.
>With slow motions, you signal the helmet, then your throat. Swirl catches up immediately.
>"I'm going for the supplier, you keep him in check!" The monochromatic sharkpony leaves, with a startup so potent, it creates a pulse that knocks all the bottles and cups from the table.
>Everything is spinning, you're going to be left without air in seconds. Inhaling one last time, you stay still and try to preserve air.
>Tidal and Max hold your arms and shoulders in place.
>"Just hang on, Anon, it will be a wee little more...!"
>How many times have you almost died in the past couple of weeks, exactly?
>Your eyes are open, but you pay attention to no one. The sharks in your little fanclub are screaming, shaking and flailing in the underwater environment.
>You can't hold it anymore, it's going to give up...!
"...GAAASP!"
>Out of your vision, something connects with your helmet, and suddenly, a fresh breath of air surrounds your head.
>Looking to the side, you see Swirl, holding a sort of metallic black box with fans on it, connected ot a tube which, in turn, seamlessly inserts into the bubble from the side.
>The apparatus seems to pull oxygen from water and pass it on to the helm. That's the least magical thing you've ever seen, holy shit.
>Taking a deep breath, you give Swirl a reassuring smile.
"Just in time, Swirl, just in time."
>The sharks around cheer. Tidal grabs your neck with a leg and nuzzles you very aggressively.
>"What the fuck happened Swirl? I thought you recharged that thing!" She asks while pressing her face against the helmet.
>"I-I did, but just a bit. I assumed he wouldn't need all of it..." the pink haired shark excuses herself. Well, there's an explanation.
"I guess I blew it all with the cheering... didn't see that one coming."
>"I'm sorry Anon, I'll just charge it up completely from now on."
"No worries. Goddamit Tidal, you can stop now."
>Prying apart the sharkpony, you and your friends continue having a spiffing old time in the underwater pub, cherishing victory.
>It's night by the time you're carried back to the island. Tidal curses missing the moon rise, but she's all flustered and sports a healthy smile, so it couldn't have been so bad.
>Not spending much time in the beach, to call it something, Tidal and Swirl go back to town while you return to the cabin for dinner, shower and sleep.
END OF DAY 14
 
DAY 15
>Oh God, oh Celestia. Fuck, your body hurts so much.
>That's what you get for going mental in a game of soccer, tailsock, whatever the shit that was.
>It takes all your five senses and a few tries to get out of the bed, and when you do, you realize is well past noon.
>Fuck, the girls will be here soon anyway, can't a man get a rest in exile or what.
>Speaking of which... you never told them the real reason you're here.
>You're getting too friendly with them, and not gonna lie, it feels nice.
>For once, you have creatures here you may call your peers in this desolate, horse ruled land of cartoon madness.
>You can only hope they'll take it in stride. Well, Alto did, but she's on another league.
>While you eat your pains away with some strange variety of mac and cheese with hay that still tastes better than any mac and cheese on Earth, the door knocks.
"Come in."
>There's your two favorite monster hybrids. Tidal runs up to you and hugs you.
>Fuck your life, honestly.
>"What's up Anon!?"
"WAAAAAAAGH!!"
>Sun dammit, almost choked on the food as well and nononono...!!
>With a loud crash, the chair topples to the side, sending you and the deep blue shark straight to the ground.
>The pain, the pain is unbearable.
>"Shit! Gimme a hoof, Swirl...!"
>"Tidal, I honestly believe one of these days Anon will kick you off the island."
>"Like I need your tuts right now! Fuck, my ass!"
"Did someone mention...?"
>Tidal smacks your face lightly, prompting a chuckle. That's right, even if you're half dead, you can still laugh. It's all laughs in here, goddamit.
>With the help of two very energetic sharks, you get on your feet.
>"You really sleep a lot, don't you" Swirl mentions, looking at the disorganized bed. "Is that a thing of your race?"
"Eh, it depends."
>Placing the chair straight once again, you sit down and resume lunch. Tidal brings forth bottles of juice for all to enjoy, the fucking cunt.
>"How are you feeling, dude? Yesterday was crazy innit? What was that you sang in the bleachers?"
"It's an old song of my people, I guess..."
>"Whatever it was, that was just what we needed, I never saw the team so fired up" Tidal jumps and boops Swirl in the snout and drinks juice, sometimes all together.
"Good to know, because it costed me my life..."
>" "WHAT!?" " Both sharks exclaim, taking your words literally. Hook, line and sinker.
"I was kidding, sheesh. I mean I'm dead tired, I can barely move."
>" "Oooh..." "
"So yeah, I'd appreciate if you two take it easy with me today."
>"Aw... well, is' aight, we can just chill out, or something" Tidal replies, losing part of her enthusiasm, but redoubling her efforts on the juice. At this rate, you'll be out of juice even before the next supply crate comes.
>"I got an idea; how about we go visit some other island?" Swirl proposes.
"How many isles are there around?"
>"Dude, loads" Tidal explains as she pours, what, the third glass of juice? You take the bottle from her, not without effort. "There's a lot of little dots like this one all over the sea."
>Well, you've been to school for a year or two, so you know you've seen it all...
>But fuck it, even another patch of shitdirt is better than this old one you've been living in.
"Sounds good to me. You'll need to help me get across, though."
>The blue sharkpony pats her chest and shoulders with a hoof and tail respectively, proudly puffing out.
>"Just leave it to us, Anon. Grab the juice and let's go."
"No juice, goddamit."
>"Dude I'm gonna bite you so hard."
>"Stop it, you two" Swirl demands, already carrying a full bottle of the stuff. "We could use a drink, Anon. It's a long way to the nearest island."
"Fine. Because you two are good help."
>"Sick job, Swirl!" Tidal hugs her friend with a single leg. "I'll get the ball too, but don't worry, we won't train today. Just in case we wanna have fun."
>You don't need a ball to have fun with these two, to be honest.
>But don't let them know that, assert your dominance.
>The sharkponies nag you to hurry up and go. You don a new bathing suit for the occasion; it's going to be yet another scorching day in the west side of Equestria.
 
>Man, this is kind of ridiculous.
>When Tidal first proposed it, you thought she had one too many juices.
>But nope, Swirl didn't object after a detailed explanation, and here you are.
>Using two sharkponies as water skis.
>Tidal brought some rope, made of kelp of course, from downtown and safely strapping their bodies to it, the two sharks happily tug along, your feet planted between their necks and their fins.
"A-Are you t-two alright?"
>You stammer your words because, really, how relaxed can you be when a single bad move can throw you in the middle of the ocean at sun knows how many miles an hour.
>Tidal has no problem to turn around and nod, though. Fucking sharkponies.
>After what seems to you like hours and hours of endless, reckless trekking, you finally spot land in the horizon.
>If you can even call that 'land'. Holy shit, and you thought your exile was bad.
>The closest available island is not even half the size of yours. The most pathetic patch of grass with barely any sand. Just a tiny, green clitoris surfacing in the middle of the ocean.
>And that's where you get off the backs of your friends, carefully stepping in this island that looks like it will sink at any moment.
>"Fuck, this one's too small" Tidal states the obvious, carrying the ball in her tail. Fat chance you'll use that.
"Well, it's a change of scenery, I guess."
>"We should be right under Golden North if we need help for anything" Swirl mentions, idly looking at the grim waters that surround the island. "But we have juice, so..."
"Yes, yes, what a funny meme. Open the damn bottle already."
>Taking turns, you and the sharks enjoy some pineapple juice under the hot sun. Man, you didn't even toss an umbrella in.
>The pones obviously didn't count on you going on vacation. You better take enough notes to impress Twilight on your return, or she'll toss your ass in jail.
>Not really, but she'll probably 'request' you to help her take care of that eyesore of a castle for who knows how long. You hate exercise, sun dammit, you won't be defeated.
>"Everything alright, Anon? You're awful tense" Tidal chekcs your status for you, what a qt.
"I'm fine, just thinking of stuff I need to get back to when this is over."
>Laying in the grass, you let the bottle pass between the two sharks, who ask not if it's even remotely okay.
>"What sort of things do you do in Equestria?" Swirl asks. That's right, you never really told them what you do, because you don't really do nothing.
"I... I guess I just do whatever they ask of me. I don't have anything to contribute to what ponies do, other than handiwork."
>"Lame" Tidal says.
"Fuck you Tidal, you're a half shark half horse abomination."
>"Ey, that hurts" it obviously doesn't. "Besides, just how am I like a horse?"
"If Alto and I remove that curse of yours, you'll see. You'll all see."
>"The queen didn't call you back yet, right?" Swirl asks after a while. She tries to hide her concern, but it's not working.
"She'll need time to think of something new. Last time was a bit... dangerous."
>And more. Swirl, being the prospective waifu she is, lays beside you and cuddles your arm. She's like a murderous plushie.
>"I really hope you pull it through..."
"Me too, because I got just a couple more weeks before I have to go back."
>"Do you really have to? I mean, from what you said, it doesn't look like your presence is all that important with the ponies" shit, fuck, Tidal actually brought something up.
>"Yeah, why can't you stay with us and help us with the curse?" Swirl cuddles closer to you. "We would take care of you, give you food and everything."
>Tidal is now creeping all over you. Her golden eyes, darkened by the shade of the sun that hits her back, scrutinize yours with severity.
>Fuck, how do you get out of this, these sharks are putting way too much weight on your shoulders.
>It's not even confirmed you can do anything for them. You can only help Alto test her weird inventions and pray you don't kick the bucket.
"Look... I can't, okay? And there's no guarantee I can help you lift the curse. Alto isn't even sure."
>"Don't just call the queen by her name, ya twat" Tidal smacks your face with the lightest hoof motion, chuckling. "C'mon dude, tell us why you can't stay."
"Does it even matter?"
>"It matters if I lose one of my two friends."
>God.
>DAAMN.
>What are you supposed to do? Tell them the truth, that you're subject to constant examination by Princess Twilight and her extermination squad of harmony? That you once launched a chicken in the air with a makeshift catapult, then told Scootaloo even a chicken could fly better than her?
>Okay, that one was a bit too extreme. She and Fluttershy cried for days. But you were quite the bastard in those days. Later, you learned to relax the jokes and improvise PG rated insults.
>But if you don't tell them now, their little monster waifu hearts will suffer a blow...
>Is it getting hard to breathe?
>"Anon, what's wrong?"
>"Dude, you're breathing way too fast..."
>Great, as if you weren't feeling down enough, you're hiperventilating.
>Your chest rises and falls over the limit of what your constitution would normally allow. It starts to hurt.
>Correction, it hurts a lot, you're going to break.
>"Anon? Anon!?" Swirl and Tidal immediately help you stand. That's better, that's better, not everything is lost yet.
>"Relax, dude, seriously. Look at me, breathe in slowly" surprisingly, your brain functions well enough right now, to mentally compliment Tidal on actually not being a crusty cunt and helping you get over the anxiety.
>Man, this is worse than that one time someone said you were wrong on the internet.
>You bought ten boxes of hotpockets and ate them in the space of a weekend, while marathoning all the Star Trek movies.
>Oh god, Spock, why...
"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"
>" "Whoa!" " Shite, you scared them. But hey, you're feeling well now. Thanks Spock.
>Huffing heavily, you look at the girls. They don't like this one bit.
>And they're not gonna like it anymore after you're done. The only way you're escaping this one is the dishonest truth that brought you here in the first place, and only Spock could have shown you the way.
>With a hand, you beckon the sharkponies to come, but they refuse initially.
"I'm sorry girls, I just... there's something I need to tell you."
>"Something like what?" Tidal questions from all the way on the other end of the pathetic patch of grass.
>The sun will set soon. Gotta make this quick.
"Just come here, alright? You have seen me do crazier stuff."
>Doubtful, Tidal and Swirl approach you with small steps, their tails awful stiff. Both pairs of pupils are contracted into maximum alert verticals.
>Sitting comfortably, with your legs closed, you face the two sharks, who stop in front of you.
>Here goes nothing.
"Okay. I'm going to tell you the reason I need to go back, and why I'm living on that island."
>"What do you mean? Aren't you on a vacation?" Swirl can't handle the pressure and asks you, swiftly covering her mouth with two hooves right after.
>It's gonna be a real loss if she gets mad for this, but well. You take a deep breath, recent tears still in your eyes, fucking anxiety attacks.
"The truth is, I'm not in a vacation. I was sent to the island by the force to, eh, do some time in isolation for my actions against ponies."
>The shark's jaws, as expected, drop ad infinitum. It's like they're endlessly falling, spazzing out of place.
>"Y-You mean... you're an exile?" Swirl manages to ask, again. Tidal just stays there, mouth agape.
"Not exactly. I'm just being, let's say, punished, because my style of life doesn't do well with the ponies'."
>"Dude... what the hell did you do to them?" The blue shark finally asks. Her pupils are actually relaxing, showing that she, at least, doesn't want to tear you limb from limb.
"Nothing too bad, I swear. Just some mean pranks that I should have avoided. But you know enough of me to know how I do things, I just can't stop being an asshole to everyone, it fills me inside."
>Tidal smirks, yeah, she got it alright. Not so sure about the pink mane here, though.
>"A-And what will happen, when you go back?" She finally asks, regaining her composure. You shrug at her.
"Nothing, really. Just back to helping the princess and her friends with their days. The problem is, if I don't go back, they'll doubt my intentions, and I'll get in trouble again."
>Swirl is relaxing, good, good. Tidal seems fine now, looking at you up and down, trying to find something to say.
>"Can't you, like, tell them about us?" She finally asks.
>Should you tell them about the diary? You should.
"Well, I've been taking notes on the... diplomatic encounters, and maybe the princesses will accept it. But let's be honest, Tidal - there's no proof other than my word, and my word just isn't worth that much in Equestria."
>Sad but true, you dug your own grave, now it's time to face the cold, worm ridden soil you defiled with your own, Cheeto dust stained hands.
>Swirl... goddamit Swirl, don't cry now, holy shit you've had it bad enough as it is.
>"T-Then, t-there's nothing we c-can do?"
>Your heart wasn't built for this, oh Celestia why. You cup the shark's chin with your hand and look her straight in her watery eyes.
"Doesn't mean I won't come back. But don't expect me for a long time."
>"Unless the queen and you remove the barrier."
"That's the only thing that may help. Just have one of you showing up before the ponies and I'll plead to be a diplomat. And you might as well plead for me."
>Before you can say anything else, a very desperate Swirl jumps into your arms, hugging your neck strongly and crying uncontrollably. Tidal rolls her eyes at the display and approaches the shark to pat her in the back.
"Swirl, goddamit girl, I'm not going away forever!"
>"I-I know, but, but, you and Tidal are my only f-f-friends and... waaaaaah!!" She won't stop crying, so at least hug her properly, you derelict piece of human shit. You rock her to the sides and hush her a few times, eventually calming the needy sharkpony.
>You grab Swirl and place her directly in front of you. Her eyes shed tears at a constant rate.
"Swirl, you can't just give up because one of your two friends is going away. Let's be honest, we don't know each other all that much, and you'll be better off knowing less of me."
>The sharkpony shakes her head.
>"No, no, I know you're not bad, I just know it" she keeps shaking her head, eyes closed in fierce denial.
"There's a fuckload of sharks down there, so go out and make some friends."
>Swirl sobs nondescript words out of her pretty muzzle. Eventually, she stops crying, but it seems she's wasted, and so are you.
>And why does you face feel so wet? you tap on your cheeks to find a river of tears you hadn't even noticed before, flowing free into the sunset.
>The old 'single manly tear' won't cover it up this time. Tidal is smiling in relief.
>"Well, if it all means you can come back later on, just try your best not to be a cunt, dude."
"I'm already relaxing the pranks a bit. Hey, should we go back to the cabin before it's too dark?"
>The sun is setting already, and Tidal would sure like to be comfortable by the time the moon is rising, so with the help of a slightly better Swirl, you make the long trip back to the island of liars and deceivers.
>Only one thing the blue and black shark tells you, before she and her pouty friend leave you for the night.
>"I don't know how bad did you mess up with the ponies, but you better believe that you can always come back here if everything else fails."
>Nodding, you let go of the sharks.
>Well, at least you're alive.
END OF DAY 15
 
DAY 18
>The last few days went by quickly. More training, more juice slurping and some light comedy that doesn't exactly favor anyone.
>And here you are, for some reason reading the journal you've been building on sharkponies while you wait for your favorite fish horses to arrive.
>Heh, you can definitely notice how it goes from a purely scientifical account of events, to a detailed, personal story about your goofing around with Tidal, Swirl and co.
>Damn you're gonna miss them, if only Alto was right just one damn time...
>"Anon, anon! You gotta come, quick!"
>The rumbling of the door opening startles you. In a reflex, you hide the journal under the pillow.
>Swirl is there, glasses still on her. Probably just came out of work, and for some reason smiling wide.
"Swirl? What's the rush now?"
>"Tidal's going to settle an issue in court! I thought you'd like to see her at work" the older sharkpony replies, walking towards you.
>Thinking about it, you've already visited Swirl at the library, why not check on Tidal and see just how good she is at what she does?
"That's a good idea, actually. Let me get dressed."
>Performing the same motions you've been exercising for weeks, you get in your trunks and head outside. It's another lovely, blazing inferno tier day, the dry sun not doing any wonders on you.
>Thank the moon there's water enough for everyone in here. A couple of minutes latched onto Swirl's hip and you can't see the sun anymore, just a cold, watery blackness.
>And later, the sight of Coral East greets you in its not magnificient at all glory, sharkponies gladly bumping into you and greeting you.
>Huh, you've been acquiring quite the following.
>A group of shark mares follows you closely, giggling and talking to themselves. They probably want to see your wiener. Wie-ner.
>That is, until Swirl stops in her tracks and turns around, shooting a mad glare at them. Your groupies scurry away with the fury of a tornado as your friend crosses her front legs and nods reassuringly.
"Dammit Swirl, they were harmless."
>"No they weren't. Next you know they'll be asking you to plow their fields and fill them with your seed."
"And what's wrong with that!?"
>"Shut up and come in me! With me! Come with me!" Seriously, some days you just can't understand this crazy woman.
>Finally, the two of you arrive at the court, a large, perfectly square building with an ominous feeling to it. It certainly does its job to provoke fear on the masses.
>The interior, however, is much more cozy, the walls lined with sands of vibrant orange, regal brown and golden, the textures merging to elicit a feeling of nondescript regalia.
>There's one symbol that you keep seeing on the walls, on the floor, everywhere: a spiral shaped, pale pink shell.
"Swirl, isn't this shell the same on Tidal's cutie mark?"
>"Why yes, it is! Do you want to know why?" You nod. "This kind of shell records and amplifies any sounds it comes by. For a long time, it's been considered a symbol of truth and justice."
>The sharkpony explains as you walk down the halls among other sharks, proudly sticking her head upward. Huh, so Tidal's mark does mean something to her job, then. Fascinating. Or something.
>The hallway opens into a large, cramped room, full of sharkponies occupying seats and floating all around. More than a few notice your presence, quickly making space for you and Swirl.
>The room does remind you a bit of those courtrooms of your home planet. The public is separated by a waist high barrier of pure hardened clay.
>On the far end, an atrium where your dawg Tidal stands in all her glory, hooves nonchalantly dropped in the stand before her.
>Two sharkponies, both males, seem to be the subject of discussion today. They stand past the barrier, in front of Tidal, who honestly looks terrifying from here.
>What's more, it seems like the whole fucking town is here.
"Swirl, just how popular is Tidal at work?"
>"It's not that she's popular, the trials are" your friend explains. "We really don't do that much down here. Oh, ooh, here comes the vendor!"
"What?"
>No need to ask, since Swirl so eagerly called the shark mare with a tray of food, namely shrimps and algae and crap.
>You gotta be kidding, right. Swirl promptly buys two of the sun damn fried shrimp on a stick. No wonder her hips are so massive from the right angle.
>A booming noise sounds across the room, calling for everyone's attention. Tidal, knocking her tail on the stand with a dead serious face.
>"Aight, the session is on" not even trying to sound formal or anything. You relax your back in the bench and watch your friend at work. "Today's issue concerns Ocean Stalk" she points at the shark to your left, dark green with blue mane "and Dew Deed" she points at the other, brown and stripped with a grey mane.
>Pfft, Dew Deed.
>"So the issue seems to be that Dew had an arrangement with Stalk to keep his plantation in check during the four weeks he would be out by the far edge of the kingdom" Tidal seems to be reading from one of those kelp-papyrus things on her desk. And mighty unimpressed, you might add.
>"That's right" the stripped shark, Dew Deed, talks up. "And he completely wasted my crops! That's a whole season ruined!"
>"Only because you lied to me!" Ocean Stalk rebuts. "You gave me the wrong instructions, I've never dealt with that sort of crop before!"
>"Why you fuckin'...!"
>Only a few sentences in, and the two sharks are already going at each other, suddenly rising from the ground and charging. The public goes wild, including Swirl.
>Tidal comes forth from her atrium and stops the two sharks mid tussle.
>"Enough! No fightin' less I say so!"
>If you didn't have a large, bubble shaped helmet around your head, you'd be facepalming pretty hard right now.
"Is this how the trials usually go?"
>Swirl nods enthusiastically, munching on shrimp. The courtroom seems to calm down a bit while Tidal and the involved parties return to ground.
>"Okay, everyone good?" Your friend asks, and the two males nod. "Thank the moon for that. Now, from the parties' accounts prior to court, ehh..."
>Tidal rummages the papers, letting you a brief moment to be mildly impressed by her technical language. She finally finds and quickly reads the papers she was looking for.
>"Yep. It says here that Dew Deed takes care of a new, experimental variant of kelp that requires very specific cares" Tidal puts down the paper and looks at Dew. "That correct?"
>"Yes ma'am" you chuckle to yourself. Ma'am, that's a new one. Swirl seems to be enjoying it as well.
>"Well, in that case, is it true that you didn't leave the instructions to Stalk?"
>"I did! He's lying, I left 'im a detailed explanation on how to take care of the kelps!" Dew gets wild while explaining.
>"That true, Stalk?" Tidal shifts her body towards the green shark.
>"W-Well... he gave me instructions... but they didn't work! The kelps went bad in a few days, nothin' I could do!" Ocean Stalk pleads.
>"Do we have the instructions here to see?" Tidal asks to someone to her back. Shit, there was a shark there, and you didn't even notice. It's a rather large, all black shark with brownish hair. He nods and presents Tidal another paper from a nearby box.
>The public observes, in the edge of their seats, as Tidal carefully unrolls the papyrus and  reads it. Her face becomes progressively worse and worse as her eyes descend the length of the paper. Finally, she puts it down and looks at Dew.
>"Dew..."
>"Yes, ma'am?"
>"Your writing is shit. Shit" she slams the paper in the table. "How in the fuck is any shark supposed to read this? Did you drop out of school or what?"
>"I... I... maybe?" Dew's tail cowers under his legs, his head shaking. Tidal down right faceplants the stall.
>"Ugh... there was no need at all to call me, as usual. You couple retards could have solved the issue on your own" her weary head raises from the stand. "But you invoked my powers, and now I have to pass a sentence."
>The room erupts in cheer, the sharks spectating alongside you ready to hear whatever vile punishment Tidal has in store for the wrongdoers.
>The two sharks are now looking at each other, suddenly realizing the fate they have brought onto themselves. Man, these sharks are silly.
>After a few moments, Tidal rises from her apathetic position.
>"Alright. In light of the evidence presented, the court has decided..." she takes a deep breath, and first points at Ocean Stalk. "You will help Dew Deed replant a new crop and take care of it  during four weeks, in your free time."
>Ocean's shoulders slump, tail falling flat. Dew raises a hoof in cheer, but it's all too soon. Tidal now faces him.
>"And you will take a course on calligraphy at the school for a whole year. With the guppies, yes" it's Dew's body now that falls to the floor completely, under the weight of his embarrassment. The sharks in the public laugh at him, and so do you.
"Swirl, what the fuck is a guppy?"
>"Huh? You know, a... the little ones? The kids?" She replies.
>Oh yeah, that makes sense. In fact, it makes it even funnier, what a retard, holy shit.
>"The sentence is passed, the session is over" Tidal raises her tail as high as she can, and slams it on the side of the stand, causing a booming echo that signals the end of this rather quick trial.
>The sharks begin to swim all over the place, approaching the victims of Tidal's power, while she returns the papers to the box guarded by the big ass shark and heads for the exit, taking the ground route.
>You and Swirl meet her halfway. Tidal shoots you a smirk, not stopping.
>"Sup dude. Didn't have enough of me in the surface?"
"You wish. Swirl invited me to come."
>"That was one of the quickest trials I've seen you do, Tidal" the black and white shark says, swimming at shoulder level.
>"Aye, this buncha morons can't take care of themselves for a single minute. Gets me sick every time."
"Don't be so mad, you took care of it like a pro."
>"Because I've done it a million times" Tidal snarks. "Seriously, this is about the average length of the trials around here."
"Could be worse. In my world, they take years."
>" "For real?" " Both sharks turn to you, curious. But something else calls your attention before you can say anything else.
>Yup, sure as hell you're not dreaming. Alto is in the middle of the hallway, looking at you expectantly. Tightly grasped in her tail is a long package, covered in large, thick kelp.
>Tidal and Swirl drop to the ground in reverence faster than you could snap your fingers.
>"At ease, ladies" the queen of sharkponies demands, with a cold voice but a smile on her face. Always so dainty, the absolute twat.
>Your two friends raise from the ground and approach Alto, Swirl quite a bit faster.
>"Did you come to see the trial, Your Highness?"
>"Not exactly, and judging by the crowd, I imagine it's already over" she talks with demure, caressing Tidal's face with her hoof. "I've been looking for Anonymous here."
"Is it experiment o'clock?"
>"If you're willing to. This time, however, I'd like to perform the tests on the surface."
>Taking a hand to the chin of the bubble helmet, you think about her offer.
"Sure, why not. You'll have a chance to see my glorious estate."
>Tidal smirks.
>"You might need help to find it, Your Majesty. I'll gladly accompany you" Swirl jumps the shark, figuratively, with a honeyed voice. Alto nods in reply.
>"I'll take your offer, then. Is it okay with you?" Alto finally turns to you, eyes full of hope.
>You just need to shrug, and the contract is made. Fucking sharkponies grabbing you and carrying you to the surface, everywhere.
>After the short trip -was it that short? At this point you've lost perception- the four of you land in the island of equine banishment, under Celestia's radiant sun.
>Alto takes a few careful steps and examines your abode.
>"Wow, it's... nice."
"Y'all know it's a prison and nothing else."
>Your retort catches the queen unawares, as she probably didn't know that Tidal and Swirl know about your sentence as well. One swift exchange of looks later, Alto smiles at you.
>"It seems like you've opened your heart to these girls more as time went on."
>The aforementioned sharks stand proud with their tails in the air. They're a show, really.
"They've done a lot for me in return. I could have literally died of boredom in here."
>"Literally?" Tidal frowns.
"Lit-erally."
>"B-But all those books...!" Swirl insists.
"I'm not a well read person."
>Meanwhile, Alto has dropped her strange bundle in the grass, and is patiently awaiting for something. You all turn to her after some bickering.
>"Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to ask of you girls that you'd leave us alone for the moment" the queen speaks, causing the little sharks to frown even harder.
>Of course, this is all her elaborate ruse to be able to drop her facade and speak normally for once. Which is starting to get on your nerves, she shouldn't be so concerned about it.
>Tidal and Swirl begin their short walk of shame towards the sea. Before they can even touch it, you run up to them and bring them close to your face.
"Girls, I want you to pretend you're going back to town. After a while, come back from behind the house and listen to me and the queen. Got it?"
>Swirl's eyes go wide while her pupils shrink into slits.
>"W-W-What? Are you asking me to go against her wishes?"
"Yes, you need to listen to what's going to happen here."
>"Dude, if she catches us..."
"I'll take the blame, now do as I say and don't fail me."
>The sharkponies look at each other, then at you, then at each other, then at Alto, then at you. After such generous display of eye usage, they both nod and turn soonest to the sea.
>Part of you wants to free Alto from her duties, even if it means soiling her image just a bit. But she's been under this pressure for a thousand fucking years, if not more.
>The other half of you just wants to see the faces in your friends when they find out, specially Swirl's. You'll feast on her tears and then hug her, and she will never know. What a refined, bastard scheme.
>Walking back towards the queen, you see her undoing the bundle that she kept with her all this time.
"What do you have in mind this time?"
>You'll have to stall for time so the girls can get a good shot at the conversation.
>"Somethin' more practical, yup" Alto replies, showing you the contents of the bundle. Spread across the grass there's a bunch of tridents, similar to the ones Tidal used to help you open the supplies, but with longer handles and of different materials.
>Wait a minute, what the fuck does that mean.
"Alto...?"
>"Before ya even say a word, dipshit, I'll have ya know that no, I ain't gonna prick ya with 'em."
>You exhale in relief. A million sadistic thoughts were racing through your mind just then.
"Then, what are these for?"
>"Lemme explain" Alto picks one of the tridents, golden and with twisted ends. "Tridents are the main magical artifacts of our people. Back in the day, when Celestia and I still talked every now and then, we used the ponies' magic to infuse them and copy their secrets."
>She's suddenly gone all serious, contemplating the trident held in her tail and talking as if the horizon was listening. It's kinda disheartening, not gonna lie.
"So it's like a magic wand."
>"A what now?"
"Nevermind. So where does the curse and I come in play?"
>Alto smiles, pointing the triple end of the trident at you.
>"Since it was a trident, MY trident, who got used to create the curse, there's gotta be some magic to it. Imma try and extract some magic from you to counter the spell."
>Does that make any sense?
"Are you even sure I have any magic at all?"
>"Pfft, everyone's got some magic, lad" the queen replies, looking past you, into the ocean. "Besides, it's more safe than givin' you deadly potions."
"I'll take that much. You're pretty nuts, Alto."
>You just voice your thoughts aloud, knowing well that the queen will take it in stride. Sure as heck, she smiles again.
>"The second you're of no use to me, I'll kick yer nuts 'till you can't have guppies. Now stand there, mussel" pointing in front of her, at a moderate distance, you take position while pondering the meaning of such terrifying words.
>The queen grabs the trident, this time with her front leg, and aims direcly for the center of your chest. She brings it back slightly...
>"Haa!" With a rough gesture, she shoves the trident forward, letting the handle slide off her hoof and dangerously close towards you. Your heart skips a beat just before the tip stops moving, inches away from you.
>And then you feel it: a strange vortex of air, like the atmosphere around you being sucked, and going directly into the tips of the trident. This last for a few seconds, your body unable to properly respond to the phenomenon.
>When it ends, you feel dizzy, weak, but still able to stand on two legs. Alto brings back the trident head to her with incredible ease, all the while walking towards you.
>"How ya feelin'? Getting yer energy sucked is a bit harsh the first times..."
"I think... I'll be fine. That was cool, actually."
>"Glad ya think so, 'cause I brought a few of 'em" surveying the trident head, now bustling with your living energy, or so you assume, Alto goes near the pack of tridents and lets the golden one on the ground, now picking a bronzeish one.
"Wait, are you going to do the same thing for all of them?"
>Holy fuck, there must be a dozen tridents at least. You'll die, you'll definitely die if she doesn't let you have a juice or something.
>"Yea, but not all will suck yer essence, ya twat" Alto explains. "Some are just to see how it reacts. Each trident carries a different kinda magic, ya know."
>Ah, good. For a second there, you believed her to not have learned from the last encounter.
 
>A few tridents later, you're not so sure of what is she exactly aiming for.
>Some of the tridents sure as hell take your energy in small doses, others do nothing at all.
>Alto is becoming increasingly frustrated, as her mumbles demonstrate.
>Meanwhile, you hope the girls are watching her queen in action, trying to save their race from an uncertain fate.
>"Fockin' hell..."
"Louder, Alto."
>"Fuck shit babyteats, cunt twats!" Wow, nice. You have a laugh as the queen discards the last trident and lays on the ground. Another day, another defeat.
>You're feeling wobbly after having so much vital essence sucked out of you, but at least you can go and grab a couple glasses of juice.
>The girls can't expose themselves right now, so you can imagine their feelings when they see you carrying the bottle and glasses outside.
>In fact, you believe to hear a moan from behind the house. So that's where they are, eh.
>"What's that, liquor?" Alto asks once you sit down next to her, opening the bottle of apple juice.
"Nah, something without alcohol. But Tidal and Swirl love it."
>You offer the queen of all sharks a drink, and she gladly accepts. When the liquid pours into her gaping muzzle, her eyes undergo a massive chain reaction, her pupils shifting between all their possible forms.
>"T-T-This...!!"
>She's reacting even wilder than Tidal, holy shit.
"Yeah, I figured as much. Hopefully when the curse is lifted you'll be able to import, eh?"
>Speaking too soon here, but as days go, and your sentence draws near the end, you can't help but to feel bad for the sharkponies, which you'll leave behind.
>Alto looks at you, eyes shining like turquoises about to tear up, once again.
>"You've been very kind for letting me do all this shit to you, Anon" she says as she nuzzles into your chest.
>Ho-hoo, the queen is in need of your attentions. It would be a shame not to pet the shit out of her~
>Stroking her long, vaguely flowing mane and holding her close, you let your heartbeat stabilize while the two of you sip on juice.
>"...I'm so sick of everything."
"I bet you are, but I'm not in position to say I understand."
>"How come? Weren't you taken away from your people?"
>Well...
>Shit.
>Holy shit, she's right. You miss home.
>You got brought to Equestria by the force, then shunned for not being friendshipus maximus.
>And all that led to this point in time, with a half pony monster in an arm and a half full glass of juice on the other.
>Don't cry goddamit, things are not so bad in here, r-right...
>"Shh, das okay, I've been through that as well. I have my sharks, but I can't let them have me."
"I-I don't get it."
>"Someone needs to hold the blame, and since Merinos died a long time ago, it's gotta be me. At least you're not guilty of anything."
>No, but that doesn't mean you can't suffer like the rest, does it?
>Letting go of Alto, you drop on the ground as the overflow of tears bursts through the dam of your eyes. Alto stands nearby, silently sipping on her juice.
>Where do you want to go? Earth? Equestria? Can you tolerate living underwater with the sharks for the rest of your life?
>You don't really fit anywhere, or so you've told yourself even before this crazy, horse sponsored adventure began.
"You... you really know how to rustle me."
>"Yea, well, I guess I've lived a lot" her tone of voice is indescribable, somewhere between her formal, aka sad voice, and her actual one. You're not looking at her, but you're sure her eyes are a million miles from here.
>Stopping the outburst, you sit straight again, holding the remains of the juice. Alto has finished her first glass and is merrily getting another.
>"Like, seriously, it was funny the first hundred years or so, before I had to take on all these responsibilities" the shark tells. "Then I got to meet Cele and Luna and every few years we'd have a time together, if anything, but that changed. We got isolated, I had to take care of everything, and playtime was over. Fuckin' shit, it makes me sick just to think about it..."
>Surely, all princesses have had their share of trouble, but Alto had to deal with a pretty edgy kingdom in a world that usually rejects the stuff. You're starting to wonder whether her problems come or not from the psychological effects of being a grimdark cartoon.
>Alto gets on all fours and throws the glass on the ground, not even finishing it.
>"Fucking, stupid son of a whore!" She yells, out of the sudden, scaring and hurting your ears a bit. "I hate you, Merinos, I hope you rot in Tartarus, you absolute prick, you mad shark, cunt, imbecile...!"
>"Your Highness, please stop, stop!!"
>What...?
>Oh for the love of the sun, she just had to blow it all.
>Alto and you turned at the same time, so nothing can be done about the fact that Swirl is there, with tears in her eyes, panting and fully exposed. Tidal is also out of her hiding place, her jaw dropped.
>As if there wasn't enough drama to go with. Alto's expression begins to turn into one of fury.
>"You... what are you..."
>Before the damage is done, you need to come clean with your promises. You step towards Alto, careful not to step in too close. Her teeth are showing.
"I told them to stay and watch, Alto. If you're going to kill someone, go for me."
>Seriously? Like, at this point, you don't even seem to give a fuck anymore about death.
>You've been through quite a lot of experiences lately, but this is downright silly, you're actually gonna get killed.
>Even more so when the queen of sharks turns to you, her eyes so hot, they almost seem red.
>"And why did you do that!?"
>Uuuh...
>Think fast, you don't actually want to die, do you? You imbecile.
"Okay, calm down. See, this is the reason why I did it. You have no one to talk with, and when you met me, you started voicing your frustrations for the first time in god knows how long. And now you can't even control that. You're a mess, Alto."
>Fuck, that's bold. That's way too bold. You want to close your eyes, but feel that it will only disrespect the queen more than you already did.
>She's shaking, the girls are shaking, everyone in this sun damn island resonates like jello, for their own personal reasons.
>Alto takes a step towards you. Then another, and with the third one, she's within biting range.
>Her eyes won't stop looking into yours, her slits firmly compressed.
>That's it, you can't deal, close your eyes and let go motherfucker, let go.
>Then you feel it.
>A bump, right on your chest. But it doesn't hurt, and you're not dead.
>Opening your eyes, you look down to find a mess of pearly silver mane plastered across your shirt, what you assume to be Alto's head underneath.
>"You're right. Dammit, you're right, I'm a mess."
>Yeah, of course you can't just die and forget about all of this. Fuck, shit.
>Your hand still finds the will to pet Alto's head, hung and pressed against your chest. You don't even have the strength to hold her as she leans on you, nuoh god.
>Tidal and Swirl are speechless, obviously the price to pay for seeing things as they really are. Finally, Alto looks up, her eyes slightly less teary, before turning towards the sharks.
>"Come here, you two."
>There's hesitation in both the sharks.
>"Just come 'ere, fuck, I ain't gonna punish you or nothing."
>Carefully, Tidal and Swirl approach Alto as she sits on her rump one more time, allowing you to breathe air.
>"I'm sorry you had to see me like this, girls, but that's how things are."
"You mean, that's how you are."
>Sun fucking dammit shut your goddamn mouth.
>"Yea yea. Thing is, I've always put on a mask when dealing with other sharks. Actin' like the queen, and shit."
>"Y-You mean..." Here comes Swirl with a faceful of tears. "...it was all a lie?"
>"Well, it was an act, sheesh, I don't think I've lied about nothing else" Alto shrugs. She definitely looks more comfortable when talking through her real self.
>"But why?" Tidal interrupts. "I mean, it's not like we're any better..."
>"You have to understand that I've been doing this ever since the curse fell on us" Alto reaches for Tidal's face with a hoof, stroking it tenderly. "At the time, I had to carry the weight of my mistakes. And then it just, dunno, stuck with me. Maybe I was afraid my people would never forgive me."
>"But that's not true! You didn't have any fault on what happened!" Swirl insists. The poor thing is breaking, and as much as you thought you would enjoy it, eeeh, it's not as good.
>Oh no no, you're still enjoying it, you're a damn bastard.
>"My fault was not throwing Merinos in a deep crater when I saw what he was doing" Alto says, her tone diminishing dramatically. "I could have stopped it all, but I didn't out of my misguided heart, and here we are."
>"Your Highness..." Swirl walks up to Alto, still sobbing every now and then. With a strong, heartfelt motion, she tackle hugs the queen deep in the core.
>Alto simply chuckles a bit as Tidal too grabs her. This is getting too pony for you now.
>"I don't care, I don't care! You're still my queen and I love you!" You can hear Swirl recite from inside her hugbox. This girl has been crying way too many times since she met you, proof that you just can't help it.
>"Aye, you don't have to put on a front for us!" Tidal joins the chorus. Alto seems to be sighing in relief, rocking the two sharkponies in her front legs.
>"Alright, alright... thank you girls, it feels good to know."
>Too many feels, not enough comedy. And you're not even invited into the hug, what a disgrace.
"...Ahem..."
>The sharks ignore you, sobbing and hugging and what not. You should be happy for them, but at the same time, you feel like they're not thanking you enough for what basically was your scheme.
>Well, in that case you can only revert to your old ways. You kneel beside the sharks and entone an ancient ritual of your people in whispers.
"You didn't listen. Why didn't you listen."
>The sharks stop moving. Swirl still sobs a little bit.
"You could have prevented this. I wanted to help you, but you didn't listen, and now it's all over."
>"Anon..." Alto hushes without looking at you. Fine then, you cup your hands in your mouth and direct your voice towards them.
"Don't call it a grave, this is the future you chose. You're all trapped inside a machine, and the machine is bleeding to death..."
>"Anon, for the love of..." Swirl joins her queen in hating the guts out of you. Hey, this actually feels pretty good. The kind of high you get when others hate you can't compare to any cuddling or good action.
"It didn't have to end like this. It was all over before it even began. Don't pray to dead angels. It has yet to end. It's happening, it's happening, it's happening..."
>" " "ANON!!" " " Three bodies break the hug as three voices yell at you, causing you to finally erupt in laugh and fall backwards. Damn, being a dickhead is cool, after all.
>"I jus' don't get what the fuck is with you, prick!" Alto exclaims even as her tail 'softly' hits your guts.
"Well excuse me if I was feeling left out."
>"He might be right, you know" Tidal points out. "After all, he was the one who told us to stay..."
>There's no sound as you face the sky, laying in the grass patch of your oceanic prison. Just a couple of weeks...
>Suddenly, something scoops you up from the ground. Definitely Alto's tail, the only thing resembling a shovel in this place. The queen and your two friends are facing you, and boy, you must be looking like and idiot.
>"Come here, you" Tidal walks up to you first, and gives you quite the hug, almost throwing you back into the ground. Swirl and Alto join merely seconds later.
>Just as planned, you're now surrounded by cuddly sharkponies. Don't you love it when a plan comes out just fine.
>Alto is slightly more slippery than the others, but her skin is warm after hours of sun exposure, and it feels quite good. Also Swirl is definitely putting weight on those thighs, unf.
>After the master plan is over, you and the three sharks have a bottle of juice while waiting for the moon to rise.
>Alto shares stories of the old days, from before the curse happened, and how sharks and ponies had occasional exchanges and diplomatic relations.
>Also, an army of crabs from beyond the deepest ocean tried to invade the kindgom, and Alto fought them alongside her faithful army of shark warriors. Tidal finds this particular story riveting as hell.
>"Fuckin' cool" she says.
>"Yup" Alto replies, sipping on her juice.
>Eventually, the sun sinks on the horizon, giving free reign to the moon to watch over the waifus of the land, generic and strange alike.
>Tidal and Swirl enjoy the moon rise wrapped in the forelegs of their queen, while you're content with using her tail as a pillow.
>Alto packs her tridents back in a bundle before going. Some of them might still hold the key to breaking the curse, and by the sun, you hope she pulls it off. Those tests will end up breaking you.
>However, before going home, the queen pulls you in for another hug, this time without bullshit from your part.
>"You just happen to have good ideas, mussel, but don't get too cocky."
"I've seen worse in my time. Do you promise you'll try to talk with your people more?"
>"I'll try" with a quick kiss to your cheek, the queen and her subjects depart. It's left a warm, lasting impression on your face.
>Sometimes you just need to go to sleep before you wonder whether you're actually dreaming or not. Fucking sharkponies, fucking Equestria, fuck everything, snore.
END OF DAY 18
 
DAY 20
>After so many days of training, it's no wonder you're finally able to block Tidal a single time when she charges against you on water.
>And no wonder she immediately wants to send you back down, to have a tussle with Max Edge.
>"C'mon dude! It will be totally worth it!"
"No it won't, fuck this, I don't even know why I keep agreeing to train."
>In truth, did you even have anything to pick on with Max?
>You laughed at him, he slammed you and you passed out. End of story.
>But noo, Tidal doesn't want her friend to just let it go without claiming some sort of revenge.
>"You're totally ready, Anon, just remember how to evade and you'll be fine."
"Tidal, listen to me for once: I don't even have a reason to fight Max."
>"But you do!" The sharkpony throws her hooves up in the air, splashing water around her. "The first time didn't count, okay? Now you can fight him properly, shit!"
>Your arms are firmly crossed as you float above the ocean with your legs as the only means of propulsion. Trying to look stern in the middle of the sea isn't the brightest idea you've had.
>A white fin stalks you and Tidal. Swirl rises from the water, calmly swimming towards you, riding the waves and oscillations of the calm seas.
>"Anon is right, Tidal. You just want to assert dominance by proxy, having your friend defeat Max, who's stronger than you physically."
>And would you look at that, Tidal's pupils contract with enough force to form a black hole, her sharp teeth showing through her maw, tightly clenched.
>"N-NO!? I just want Anon to get him back, fair and squaAH!"
>Tidal was too focused backpedaling to notice your approaching her. You grab the shark by the waist, feeling her tail trash around under the surface.
"Calm down already. Look, if it means so much to you, I'll give it a shot. But don't blame me if Max destroys me, which is inevitable."
>Tidal looks at you, her hooves surely finding her way on your shoulders. She nods without saying a word, pulling herself closer and placing her head in your chest. Damn, what a cutie.
>Something tugs on your leg. That happens to be Swirl's tail, the black and white shark standing next to you in the water.
"What?"
>Swirl's face is a dilemma, a complicated paint that you can only express as pure shit. Yes, you're that cultured.
"What!?"
>"Huggies" she demands.
"Fine, jeez."
>You pull Swirl towards you with one arm, leaving Tidal to the other. With two sharks  under your care, the three of you make the short swim towards the island.
>After a light meal, a juice and a helmet donning ritual, your friends of fishy nature bring you down to town.
>You were hoping to get to Max before anything else, but to everyone's surprise, you find Alto dabbling with the mortals in the market square.
>And what a rare sight it must be, since every damn shark in town must be here now. The regal presence of their queen keeps them at bay, but a cloud of sharks swims around her, trying to get ever closer.
>Tidal, your driver, turns her head towards you and nods, fiercely accelerating and diving into the fray. Taking a couple of turns, and brushing your limbs against stray sharkponies, your friend places you in front of the queen, Swirl arriving seconds later.
>"Well if it isn't my dearest test subject" Alto greets you warmly, with her official voice, although shifting in tone towards something more casual. Her face also seems relaxed, looks like she took your advice to heart.
"Fancy seeing you here, of all places."
>"Well, I admit I don't spend as much time as I should with my children" Alto replies, as if you didn't know already. Her tail strokes a male shark casually swimming behind her. The fool immediately loses all control and lands softly on the ground.
"They really do love you, christ."
>"I don't know what a 'christ' is, but thank you" the queen smiles at you while petting Tidal and Swirl, her most faithful cunts. "What brings you down here today?"
>"Your Highness, Anon is going to challenge Maximum Edge to a tussle" Tidal promptly speaks, at this point becoming your agent. "Anon's been training hard to recover my, I mean, his lost pride."
>"Is that so?" Alto gives you a good look over. "No wonder you were looking better these last days. Is Maximum Edge here, per chance?" Alto turns her head in all directions, asking the assembly of sharks in the market.
>There's many a whisper and murmur in the crowded plaza, and eventually, in between the audience makes way Max, with careful steps.
>"I... I'm here, Your Majesty" he speaks, his edge dull with a mixture of fear and confusion. That's what a thousand years of no PR whatsoever do to you.
"Yo, Max. I was hoping we could have another tussle, just for fun, you know. Let's see what happens when I get to defend myself."
>Max shifts his attention to you. His magenta eyes cover the tiniest black verticals, jittering in place and obviously wanting to take another look at the queen.
>Well, this might not have been the best moment to ask. With Alto here, anything any of these sharks says must have a certain weight, or else they wouldn't all be so nervous.
>Then again, you could use this to your favor...
"Of course, it would be fantastic if the queen could watch the demonstration as well. I'm sure she could relax and watch some sport every now and then. Unless, of course, you're not in proper condition to..."
>"T-The hell with that!" Max blurts out, throwing everyone back one step. He immediately covers his muzzle with two hooves, looking around frantically. Bullseye. "I-I mean... of course I'm good. I'll take on your challenge, Anonymous."
>His voice suddenly went formal as well. God, this is too fucking rich.
>Nonetheless, Alto's presence is heavy, even for you. Whatever you might know about each other, there's no doubt that she carries a powerful being, sort of like entering a bubble when you're near her.
>This is accentuated by the fact that the whole town is watching, and she needs to keep that bubble on at all times. Clearing her throat, the queen speaks:
>"I would gladly be the judge, if the contenders agree. What will be the time of the duel?"
"How about right now? I can't think of a better time."
>And you want this to be done with. You couldn't give less of a fuck if Alto sees you lose, she's still your buddy and owes you big time.
>Tidal and Swirl have been circling you and the queen meanwhile, sort of forming a barrier from the other, background tier sharks. Other times it would bother you, but for some reason, there's a knot in your stomach that won't let you care.
>Oh great, are you actually nervous about this whole thing? Are you actually going to try? You have no chance against one of these monsters underwater...
>But your spirit won't let go, pathetic as your body is. Max stammers a reply in the meanwhile.
>"I-I guess I have nothing to d-do. If you want to, l-let's find a place and..."
"Can't we do it here? It's not like we need anything other than space..."
>Immediately, the dozens, maybe a couple hundred sharks retreat one step, in all three dimensional directions, leaving you, Max, Alto, Tidal and Swirl with a nice makeshift arena in the middle of the market.
>You take a step to your left. The whole crowd moves.
>Pfft.
"Okay, let's do it..."
>You move a few steps, carrying the whole mob with you, until you're slightly out of the market, where the town resumes its usual sandstone house composition.
"...here."
>Now it's only you, Max and Alto. The girls have left for the crowd, and opened the circle so it's now more of a strip.
>That's possibly to avoid collisions, since the shark style fight involves charging at full speed in a straight line.
>Max is already on his end of the strip. Oh sun, what to do now...
>"Aren't you going to move, Anonymous?" Alto questions, her brow slightly arched. Well, should you? What's your running speed down here?
"I think here's good, yes. I'm ready when you are!"
>You shout at Max, to which he replies a similar thing. The queen nods and places herself in the middle of the strip, pretty much near where you are.
>"In that case, let the singular duel commence!"
>There's a cheer coming from the hundred sharks around you, as Max locks his slitted pupils on you.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE1HDSipRxU
>Suddenly, an inner voice speaks to you, in a very familiar tone, that of a man, the man of the outback:
>"Keep it tite, son. Be at one wit' tha shark, blamey."
>Once again, you're not alone: your body tenses as the voice of your ancestors reaches from within the deepest ends of the multiverse.
>"See how it swims towar's ye, feel tha rhythm on 'is tail m8..."
>Just as the voice forewarns, Max begins to swim across the strip of land, towards you. His motions are somewhat hypnotic, his tail rhythmically swinging from one side to the other.
>"He' speedin' up m8, remembah how ye evaded Tidal's charge..."
>You can barely hear the voices of a hundred sharks cheering for you, your feet firmly planted on the ground, adopting a grapple position...
>"Yer gonna push it, yer gonna push it to tha limit..."
>Max does his battle cry, but you can't hear it over the increasing beats of your heart, the voice of the golden crocman inside your soul.
>"Dainga dainga dainga...!"
>Here he comes! You can see it!
>Your body moves, on impulse, repeating the same motion Tidal forced you to learn hundreds of times.
>You move slightly to the right, while keeping your arm in a handle position. Just right for a shark's head to pass through...
>"Woo! Yer on top of tha worl! Yer gonna push it, push it to tha limit...!"
>The incredible force Max carried leverages against him; your foot slips, and the head you so firmly had in your grasp takes a turn down and into the ground, hitting with a loud thud.
>The cheers stop, as the voice of the Australian daredevil fades with a few last words of advice...
>"Thas good m8, ye gotta love all tha fish. God save tha Queen, holy smokes..."
>And with the decrease of your hearbeat, the shark slipping from your grasp, you softly fall on your butt.
>Max barely moves, his one hoof touching his head, there where the force of his attack carried him to topple you and hit the ground. He moans softly, unable to get up.
"Shit... are you alright?"
>He moans slightly louder. You look at Alto, whose jaw is wide open, although smirking, amused.
>"Then the winner is Anonymous!" She proclaims, and a tide of sharkponies erupts in cheer and breaks ranks to join you and Max, who's still out of it.
>Tidal finds you first, being the quick bugger she is. Tackling you with a power hug, she cries your name in praise.
>Bitch as if there was any doubt.
>Swirl joins the hug as well, these two were very huggy today. The other ponies rush to aid Max, as well as congratulate you.
>"That was incredible! I thought you were going to die!"
>"How did you do it!?"
>"Can I get your autograph on my teats, please?"
>These and more comments are thrown in, as a good five sharks or so lift you from the ground, in time for Alto to come and give you a peck in the cheek.
>"Congratulations, Anon. That was incredibly surprising, and fun as well. Is Max okay over there?" She asks the sharks reanimating the punished shark, a fallen edge.
>"He'll be fine, Your Highness" one of the sharks reply, just in time for Max to begin coming onto his senses. You approach him with the queen following behind.
"Sorry if it was too hard dude. No bad feelings?"
>"Hmm? Oh no no, I mean, that was amazing, 'n shit. But damn, I lost..." he seems appalled by the fact that this lanky, alien thing defeated him on his turf.
>You and some other sharks pet him and help him stand on his own, while Tidal and Swirl rush to hug your guts, which are huge.
>"Dude!" The deep blue shark shouts. "I knew the training worked, I just knew it!"
"Blamey..."
>"Are you alright, Anon?" Swirl creeps up to your face, hanging from your neck with her widdle legs.
"Yeah, unlike Max, I didn't hit my head on the ground or anything like that."
>"What was that move, dude? Where did you learn that?" Max approaches, walking slowly on the ground, slight frown of honorable respect on his face.
>You're about to tell him that it was just a fluke, when an idea sparks in your mind.
>Heh, why not. After all, these guys don't have to know the full details.
>With your hands in the air, you call at the multitude of sharks that surround you.
"Come forth, little sharks, and listen to the tales I come to tell...!"
 
"...it was the most desperate time for all. Nobody seemed to be able to stop the behemoth which now ruled the arena..."
>Dozens of sharks, including your friends and the queen, sit all around you in a circle, their butts firmly on the ground, speechless.
"Indeed, it seemed that The Great Khali would win, until fighter number thirty was called on to the ring. The lights went out, the grim bells that tolled announcing the coming of... The Undertaker."
>Gasps all around you, that is until some femshark steps up.
>"The... Undertaker?"
"Think. What's deeper than the deepest ocean?"
>Some of the sharks are now shaking, hugging each other, terrified. Alto and Tidal are on the edge of their  seats, about to jump.
"That's where he will take you. He's The Undertaker. He takes you under."
>One of the sharks begins to sob in the arms of another.
"The Undertaker stood up to the ring, and with a single arm, deflected the blows of The Great Khali, retaliating with his own mighty, otherwordly fists."
>You grab Tidal and put her in the ground front of you, only to place a foot in her back and enact a victorious pose.
"Nobody knows how long the battle lasted. Some say a million years. Others, a million seconds. By the end of it, those who survived will always remember the grim visage of The Undertaker, sore and bloodied, crowned as champion of the 2007 Royal Rumble!"
>Most of the sharks erupt in applause, cheering, some actually crying. Damn son, imagine telling them all what it really was.
>Tidal forces herself from under your foot and levels her face with yours.
>"Dude, I didn't know your world was so fuckin' messed up."
>You chuckle at her, grabbing the shark by the neck, right under the gills.
"It's okay, not all of it is like that. Although, hmm..."
>"What a nice day so far, Anon, thanks for coming down" Alto comes by. "What are your plans now?"
"I don't have anything in mind. Wanna walk with us?"
>You look at Tidal and Swirl, who's right behind her beloved queen. Alto smiles and nods, caressing the pink haired puppy with her slender tail.
>"Aight. Let's go to the border of town" Tidal proposes. She breaks your grip and swims forward. "Follow 'ere."
>Nodding, you turn towards the shark crowd.
"Maybe I'll come by another day to tell you the story of how John Cena defeated the odds. But until then, take care. And remember never to disturb The Undertaker."
>Laughing internally, you leave the population of Coral East as you walk along with Swirl and the queen, a new legend born in the underwater abyss.
 
>Outside town, near the end of the bubble that allows for a slightly above average standard of living, there's nothing but a grim void.
>No, seriously, it's dark as fuck. Tidal and Swirl hold your hands with their cute little hooves and help you navigate.
"Why did I agree to this again?"
>"Don't be a cryguppy, ya bloody idiot" Alto purrs, walking to your side. Tidal and Swirl chuckle.
>"Damn, the queen is awesome. Fuck you, Anon."
>"Yeah, you cunt."
>You're not even sure who's saying what, but it's all the same since they enjoy humilliating you so much.
>At some point, they all stop. You hear the muffled hoofsteps of Alto distancing themselves from your position.
>And suddenly, there's light. A faint, blue bioluminiscence covers the dark bottom of the sea, as the queen of sharkponies comes back with a variant of glowing kelp hanging on her neck.
>"Here. Put this on" she tells you, as she gives you one of the things. It's long and slimy, but you put it all around your neck nevertheless, allowing for some vision underwater.
"Much better."
>Tidal and Swirl do the same, soon enough the four of you sport trendy, glowy underwater scarves.
>"Mmm, I love comin' out here, it's always nice" Alto moans, laying on the floor in peace. The girls do the same, so why the hell not. You sit on the cold sand and rock bottom.
"What do you do in your spare time, Alto?"
>The question comes a bit forced, since you were originally going to ask her what she actually does as work. But that would be rude, not to mention she'll actually hit you.
>"Mmm... I stay at the castle most of the time. Drinkin', readin', that sort of stuff."
>"W-What do you read, Your Highness?" Swirl picks up interest, of course. "I-If you would ever like to visit the library, we would help you find anything..."
>You can see Alto scoot along in the ground, propelled by her tail, until she reaches Swirl and grabs her with her arms. The librarian yelps, half in surprise, half in homoerotic lust.
>"Mhm, I'll have that in mind. Relax, Swirl, you can call me Alto just for the day" she says, petting her subject's mane and looking into her eyes.
>"B-B-B-B-But..."
>"Shh..." Alto keeps toying with her, nuzzling her neck and rubbing her tummy. You find yourself and Tidal looking at the scene with way too much interests. Swirl whinnies softly in Alto's arms.
>Tidal looks pretty disgruntled, she's probably feeling that top tier envy right now. With a lazy motion, you grab her by the tail and pull her close for a hug.
>"Dude!"
"Come on, I know I'm not the queen, but give me credit."
>You hold the shark close to you, caressing her soft, slippery skin, from chest to flank. Her front legs hold your right arm while the left one does the petting.
>"I remember a time when I would be this close to my subjects" Alto speaks as she cuddle dominates Swirl. "I also fought the best soldiers with my trident. Still have the second longest win streak in the kingdom."
"Because that's totally fair."
>"Hey, back then it was, cunt. I weren't this big or nothin', ya know."
>"Was the royal trident as good as the legends say?" Swirl asks, in a daze. Damn she's loving it, and Tidal ain't complaining, either.
>"Mhm" Alto says, giving her loyal toy a peck in the forehead. "It's the best trident ever made. Held up all of the known magic at the time. Could control whirlpools, volcanoes, absorb lightning, teleport... Also it was a fuckin' fine fork."
>"How heretic" Swirl replies absent-mindedly.
>The whole lot of you stop talking an enjoy the peace and darkness. You should have frozen to death under other circumstances, but the environment inside the bubble seems to be constant, and thank the sun for that.
>Eventually, though, you ask her royal highness and the acolytes to go back to the surface. Your friends happily oblige, with Alto tagging along for the ride.
>The three of you enjoy unhealthy amounts of juice and watch the moon rise. Tidal talks with the queen about the pale orb and the princess which commands it. Good old Luna, bless her for not peeking into your dreams; you need help.
>Finally, the three sharks leave you be for the day, congratulating you one more time for actually defeating a being objectively superior to you.
"Don't go putting words in my mouth, Tidal. You ain't that hot a shit."
>"Whatever dude" she laughs, giving you one last hug. "Seeya tomorrow."
>Alto hugs you last. "I'm havin' lots of fun" she tells you right before heading for the sea, tail swaying in a sultry manner. You can't help but to feel proud of your achievements as a non scrub.
>After dinner and shower, you head for bed. Before you can fall asleep, you hear thunder outside. The flash of lightning illuminates the shack for a brief second.
>Stepping out, you go watch where the storm is coming from. That's the third time you get your knickers in a twist for something that didn't even come close. You want to make sure you know this time.
>And sure as hell, there's no clouds or anything. Wherever the storm is, it either dispersed immediately or moved away, or it was never that close to begin with.
"Fucking tropical cartoons..."
>And fucking sharkponies, indeed.
END OF DAY 20
 
DAY 21
>"..."
>"..."
>What... what now?
>You can't even get up in peace these days.
>As soon as you woke up, you noticed voices right beside your bed.
>A sideways glance confirmed the presence of Tidal and Swirl, literally watching you sleep.
>And what's more, commenting.
>"Why do you think he sleeps so much?"
>"I don't know... it's always worried me, maybe he's sick?"
>"And what's that thing poking from under the blanket?"
>"I don't know..."
>For fuck sakes.
>You'll show them bitches what a morning wood is.
>Yawning heavily, as to allow them to retreat a few steps, you get up from bed without delay, with nothing but a shirt and trunks on.
>Your raging erection is on display for all to see, and you feign not to notice the girls until a few moments later.
"Mmm... oh, hey, you two. What's good."
>You make a point of aim your pokey stick directly at Tidal's face. Both the sharks can't take their eyes from your goods.
>You're not sure if they're loving it or laughing at it, though.
>"Y-Yo, dude. S-Sorry we entered without asking" Tidal says, trying desperately to look up.
>"Y-Yeah, it's just that it was a bit late..." Swirl stammers, while you nod and slowly walk up to them. The sharks avoid you and your mast just in time as you walk to the kitchen.
>While you pour yourself cereal for lunch, Tidal walks up to you and takes a seat.
>"Soo... how are you?"
"Good as usual. Very happy to see you."
>You make sure to smile in a creepy way at the shark as you say that. Tidal almost gets down from the chair right there, but instead chooses to look at Swirl, terrified.
>The black and white shark takes one step, unsure of how to proceed. What she next asks you almost makes you spit the milk through your nose.
>"Anon, sorry if this is a bit personal, but... are you in heat?"
"PFFT...!"
>You can't, you can't deal with this couple of cuties. You burst into laughter over the cereal bowl. Tidal and Swirl, don't get it, obviously.
"Oh my god, girls, one of these days..."
>"What's so funny!?" Tidal asks, a bit flustered.
>You tell Swirl to go for a bottle of juice, of the few you have left, which she does with gusto. Meanwhile, you explain the sharkponies the ins and outs of human biology.
>After a few embarrassing minutes -for them, not for you- things have calmed down and you can finally eat in peace.
>"By the way, there's another box out there, and it's huge" Tidal says.
"Huh?"
>Of course, your supplies crate. After breakfast, you get up and exit the cabin to check it out. It really is bigger than the others.
"I guess it's the last one before I go..."
>The sharks frown. Tidal brings forth a trident and the two of you open it. A decent amount of food, clothes and books, bottles of juice galore. The sharks salivate profusely.
>"Soo..." Swirl says, while looking at the bottles. "What do we do today?"
"Eh, I don't know, I don't feel like doing anything."
>And so the contract is made, that  you shall remain in the island like a lazy fuck, with the sharks to keep you company, and steal your juice.
>An unknown amount of time passes before you decide to actually move from the bed and look at them. Your friends are reading a book together, while munching on some fried shrimp.
>Wait a minute.
"The fuck did you get those from!?"
>Tidal and Swirl look up.
>"Dude, I went all the way down to East and grabbed them" Tidal remarks.
>Ugh, you better start moving before you hibernate in August.
>Suddenly, two sharkponies are beside you, their tails waggling.
>"For real now, Anon, are you sick?" Swirl asks.
"Nope, just lazy."
>"Aw, das alright, gimme a hug..." Tidal extends her arms, and before you can reach for her, Swirl does the same.
>"No Anon, give me a hug."
>"The fuck girl? I asked first" the blue one replies, baring her sharp teeth.
>"You're the inferior friend, Tidal, you can't possibly satisfy Anon's hug needs" Swirl suddenly comes all mighty, burning Tidal for ages to come. You blow air through your pursed lips like it's a tornado in the midwest.
>"Like hell! I was his friend before you!"
>"Just a couple of days, come on...!"
>This is going to get ugly unless you do something. And why the fuck are they so protective?
>Ah, nevermind that now. A most ingenious idea has sparked in your master brain.
"Girls, calm down. There is one way to settle this without having to fight."
>" "Really?" " They both ask in unison.
"Yes. A cute-off."
>" "A cute-off?" " Again, with miliseconds between each other.
"We'll see who's the cuter, most friendly shark, and worthy of being my best friend. Do you think you can handle it, pushovers?"
>"I-I totally can handle it!" Swirl springs forth, placing her hooves in your lap.
>"Yeah, we're on!" Tidal replies, bouncing.
"Then let's go. May the queen pray for your souls..."
>Needless to say, you just tricked these two into doing what you want.
 
>First trial, vertical hug.
>You stand in the beach, before a makeshift strip that every shark must run across before jumping onto your neck.
>Fluffiest hug wins.
>Tidal goes first, prancing across the strip and jumpìng with incredible agility, softly hugging your neck.
>She does it flawlessly, and her balanced weight and warmth complement the hug very well.
>Swirl doesn't have the same potency in her legs. Added to her fat, massive thighs, she fails the jump altogether, hugging your knees in the end.
"Tsk... bad job, Swirl. Tidal gets this one."
>"Fuck yeah I do! I'm gonna be the best friend" the blue shark mocks the black one. Ah, good old competition, destroyer of friendships.
 
>Second trial, catching your attention.
>You lay in your bed, waiting for the contestants to get you to do something with the force of their cute.
>Tidal comes by, and whispers in your ear.
>"Anon... let's go swim..." she nuzzles your neck a bit while doing so. Very good, but you wouldn't move just for that.
"Aight... next participant."
>Tidal leaves, and Swirl comes into the cabin. She also whispers in your ear, a bit heavily.
>"Anon... let me watch you masturbate."
"WHAT!?"
>"What?" Swirl recoils back.
>"What?" Tidal suddenly runs in.
>"What?" Swirl replies.
"Holy shit, Swirl, this is a cute-off, not a lewd-off."
>The monochromatic shark is visibly flustered, and looks at the ground.
"Nevertheless, you win this one, Swirl."
>The mentioned shark gasps, while Tidal frowns massively.
>"Oh, come on! What did she say!?"
"Professional secret, Tidal. Let's prepare the next trial."
>While Tidal walks away, Swirl beckons you to her.
>"No, but seriously... let's do it one day" she winks and leaves your immediate area.
>What the fuck just happened.
 
>Third trial, motherfuckers. The age old, revered trial of juice pouring.
>Tidal sits in front of you at the table. A single glass and a fresh bottle of juice stand between the two of you.
>With very slow motions, you grab the bottle, open it, and start pouring a very thin stream of liquid, pausing every few seconds to look at the shark.
>This is all a deliberate action to see how she endures this incredibly evil act of terrorism.
>Tidal is visibly sweating, breathing heavily and oogling the bottle and the glass at rapid speeds. Her pupils can't settle on a definite form, making her look like a drugged lunatic.
>Before the glass is even half filled, she finally snaps.
>"Pour the fucking rest, you fucking cunt, holy shit!!"
>You stop right there, looking at Tidal with disappointment in your eyes. She just now realizes what she's done.
"Too bad. Too bad..."
>You grab the glass and drink its small content, to the dismay of the shark. She leaves the chair in tears, and Swirl occupies her position.
>You would swear the chair creaked when the meaty flanks of your friend force their shrimp fueled weight on it.
>You begin the same process anew, and it looks like Swirl has learned. She stands there, patiently waiting and looking at you. You make the pouring even slower to throw her off.
>Finally, she snaps, but in a clever way. She instead talks to you with a very soft voice.
>"Anon, do you want help?"
"Actually, I'd love some help."
>You let Swirl grab the bottle and pour. She obviously does it faster, but still keeping her cool. At the end, you push the glass towards her, as a reward.
"Good job, Swirl. You win this one too. Gee, it almost looks like you might be my best friend, after all."
>Words cannot express the smugness of the grin she beams Tidal from her chair, glass of juice between her hooves.
 
>Fourth trial, the five second cuteness overload.
>Basically, you're going to give each of your friends five minutes to prepare something inside the cabin, a scene, then you'll walk in and let them impress you with their cute antics.
>As it's standard, Tidal goes first. You await the five minutes outside without a real clue of what five minutes really are. Fucking Twilight never even gave you a clock.
>Regardless, when it's been a while you knock on the door and enter without waiting a response.
>The cabin hasn't changed at all, but in the middle of the floor there's Tidal balancing her tummy on the ball she uses to play tailball.
>She idly moves back and forth, then acts like she's just noticed you. The shark winks and puts her hooves on her mouth.
>"Anon, I'm hungwy."
"Hnng."
>"How was that?"
"You have chances, little shit, you sure do. Come here."
>You beckon Tidal towards your inviting hand, then pet the shit out of her. Seriously, she did the whole shtick with just the right amount of sugar. Swirl then goes in.
>After the five or so minutes are over, you knock and enter, exactly as you did with Tidal.
>Swirl is reading in your bed, with her butt and tail raised, moving it from one side to another.
>You'd swear you can see pink in there, holy christ what lewds.
>Then she turns towards you, acting flustered and covering her bits with her tail.
>"Oh, Anon, silly! I didn't know you were coming..." she says, hugging herself with a stupid, albeit cute, face.
"Nice. Come in, Tidal, I'm gonna judge."
>The blue shark enters and joins Swirl on the bed. You wish you could join them, but the judge's job is sacred.
"Well, let's see... this one was close, yeah..."
>Swirl is about to fall off the bed, her hooves treading on the very edge of the mattress.
"I think Tidal was better."
>"Fffffuck!" The black and white shark exclaims, hooves in the air, scaring even Tidal. The teal haired shark snickers and pats her back. "I just needed that one."
"Welp, that means the last trial is do or die. Whoever wins is the cutest, best friend in the world for a deranged madman like myself."
>Your friends cheer in excitement. What a world, really.
 
>The time has come. It's the fifth trial, the hardest of them all. The friendship speech.
>You'll cuddle with your friends separatedly, for a certain amount of time, while setting the mood. Then they'll have to give you their cutest friend speech.
>Nothing like a challenge of the mind to finish this absurd charade you just made to get free hugs and laughs for the day.
>The sun is going to come down soon, so you'll revert the order or participants this time. Swirl will go first, during sunset, and Tidal will follow while the moon rises. It's only appropriate, and Swirl doesn't complain.
>You lay on the pathetic beach that encompasses your island, while Swirl makes herself at home in your arms. Her warm, thick body feels like a top quality pillow on top of you.
>While the sun falls before you, sinking in the horizon, your black and white pal raises her head a bit. She looks at you with the biggest, cutest round eyes you've ever seen.
>"If you go, I'll remember you with every sunset. Because we'll always be friends, like the sun will always rise and fall."
>...
>Well, fuck. That was cute.
"Nice. My heart almost popped there. Good job."
>You pet Swirl and send her off with a smile. While the sun finishes disappearing behind the ocean, Tidal moves over.
>Not exactly on the other side of the sky, because fuck logic in Equestria, the moon starts to rise. Tidal and you observe for a few minutes, until the speed of ascent slows to a crawl.
>You're not sure how Tidal is going to top Swirl on this, but you wait patiently as she curls around and faces you with a serious, yet remarkably adorable face.
>"Anon, you're the best of friends, you lift me up like the moon when I'm down, and I'll always be here to watch you rise."
>...
>HNNNNNG.
>GOD DAMMIT.
"The fuck did you came up with that? Holy shit."
>"You liked or what?" She asks, back to her cheeky smiles.
"Definitely. Come here, Swirl, it's time I make the final veredict."
>You set Tidal aside and sit down in the cooling sands. The sharkponies both sit in front of you.
>Dammit, they're not gonna like what you have to say.
"Now, the winner of this last trial would officially be the best friend of them all..."
>Tidal and Swirl lean forward, their eyes preemptively narrowing into slits.
"...but I can't choose. Fuck, both of you were excellent. The competition ends in a draw, you're both the best friends."
>Tidal literally falls on her chest, while Swirl huffs and adopts a straight position.
>"Dude!? Seriously?"
"Don't blame me! I honestly thought you would lose this one, but fuck me, you really know how to give me sugar."
>"Well... alright..." Swirl walks up to you, slightly upset. "I don't mind sharing the title with Tidal, provided you give us a just reward."
"What would that be?"
>"Juice" the blue shark comments, still laying on her chest.
>"And huggies" Swirl extends her forelegs once again. Sun fucking dammit, these sharks.
>The night ends with a glass of juice and a cuddle under the moonlight. Tidal has ocean current shift tonight, but Swirl stays with you.
>Once again, you fall asleep with the soft, albeit slightly heavy shark horse in your chest. Her cute breaths hypnotize you into the deepest, safest sleep. F-Fucking... zzz...
END OF DAY 21
 
DAY 23
"Are you sure about this?"
>"Totally, dude. We're gonna find out today, shit."
>You have to say, when Tidal visited on her own today, all excited about some secret master plan she wanted you to participate in, your first reaction was going back to bed.
>Then you got the details. It's all about Swirl's mysterious disappearances.
>She never tells Tidal where she's going, but this time, your blue friend managed to get a warning from Swirl's work partner.
>"She's gonna leave early today, and she didn't tell me anything! We're gonna follow her and find out what she does."
>It sure sounds interesting, but still, it feels wrong. Maybe because you've made her cry a lot of times, you're starting to get tired of it.
"I don't know Tidal... there must be a reason she doesn't want to tell you. Why don't you leave it alone?"
>The shark puffs her cheeks and pulls her mane.
>"Dammit! I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know...!" She rolls in the floor and whines. It's cute, really, but it hurts your head like no tomorrow.
"Okay, okay, jeez! Alright then, I'll go with you..."
>The shark's eyes lit up.
"...but if at any point it becomes clear that we shouldn't be doing it, we're turning around. Got it?"
>Given your serious tone, the sharkpony thinks about it for a while.
>"Well... okay. At least we'll find something out" Tidal extends a hoof, which you shake and squeeze. Marshmallowy.
>After eating and getting ready, Tidal carries you to Coral East, where dozens of sharkponies go around to their business. They're happy to see you for the most part. Even Max comes around to greet you and Tidal.
>"Hey dudes! Me and some friends are going to the stadium later, to have a game for funs. Wanna come?"
>"Eh, I dunno Max, we're doing a bit of important stuff today..." Tidal excuses herself.
"Yeah, we'll have it in mind, Max."
>"Aight then. I'll see ya later" the male shark turns around and swims away fast. You and Tidal approach the library from the back, going around and waiting for Swirl to come out.
>"Remember Anon, she can't find out we're following" your partner says as the victim of your stalking leaves the library.
"Gotcha."
>Silently, and aided by the fact that you're submerged in water, you nimbly float behind the blue shark, who in turn follows the black and white one.
>The swim takes you all the way outside the bubble, where your body feels noticeably heavier and you don't fly so good.
>Grabbing Tidal's hips, you position yourself by her side and let her do the pulling. She follows Swirl in the darkness, her special eyes somehow allowing her to see.
>Eventually, you reach another bubble. Lights and sound permeate you as much as the change in the biosphere.
"Where are we now?" You ask your seaborn friend.
>"Eeh, I think this is South. Why she be comin' here, dammit?"
"Keep following and we'll find out."
>However, it's not easy. Every now and then one idiot shark has to gasp and rush to greet you, or lazily smack you with the tail as reminder of the humilliation they suffered during the tailball game.
>As a result, Swirl seems to look behind her more often that you would give her. Actually, she just looks nervous all around.
"Keep it far away, Tidal. I have a feeling Swirl is going to be looking for people like you and me."
>"The fuck does that mean?"
"I don't know, don't you think she's acting weird?"
>Tidal scratches her watery chin and squints at Swirl, who's slowly swimming across the market.
>"Yeeah, like she's looking to her sides a lot, and stuff...?"
"Right."
>Doubling the care, you practically tiptoe underwater, Tidal comically trying to hide her bulk by swimming curled in a ball. A couple of times you almost lose Swirl among the moving sharks of Pearl South.
>Eventually, you see her enter a slightly bigger than average building, with lights covering the front.
"Tidal, identify."
>"Ka-ching! It's a bar of some sort... drink and entertainment. But no pole dancers... disappointing?"
"Nah."
>Subtly, you both approach and enter the locale. The shark operating at the door doesn't even try to stop you, his jaw falling a bit when you give him a slick look.
>The inside of the locale is well mantained and colorful, but the lights have been dimmed on purpose, so it looks like one of those bars with the focus on the stage.
>Which, by the way, looks like a damn fine stage. At the moment, there's one shark playing some sort weird instrument that reminds you of a piano. She sings, too, with a nice dainty voice that reaches across the water into your bubble helmet.
>Tidal and you take a table at the end of the locale, searching for Swirl.
"What do you think her business might be so far away from home?"
>"I don't know, dude, but look at this place. It's the perfect kinda joint to do shady deals."
"Shady deals? Explain yourself."
>"I dunno, like drugs or whatever" Tidal stops herself on the sudden realization of what she just said. "Oh my fuck, Anon, what if she's dealin' drugs!?"
>You chuckle. As much as it's always the shy ones, you don't see prim and proper Swirl doing business of that kind. A waitress comes around and Tidal orders herself a drink. You shrug and cross your arms.
>Eventually, the artist on stage ends with a nice song about a moon shark. You can't help but to pick some racist undertones against crabs in it, though.
>The crowd erupts in applause while the piano shark leaves, and a smug looking male with a bowtie takes her place, speaking loud and clear.
>"Give it one more time for Striped Tones, ladies and gentlesharks! And now, the main event of our afternoon show, the sensation from East that's swept over the entire kingdom! Introducing the rising star of comedy, Swirl!"
>If you had a drink, you would spit it now. Tidal sure does, as the very same Swirl you know and potentially love walks up on stage, her mane all done in buns, glasses a couple inches outward on her muzzle.
>And that's not all. She's wearing what seems to be a white shirt with a tie, all disorderly. It kind of makes her seem like a NEET, and you'll be damn if your dick isn't feeling it. Thank the sun you're all the way back in the locale, so she shouldn't be able to recognize you and Tidal if you crouch.
>"Thank you, thank you!" Swirl calms the crowd. Her voice is uncharacteristically chirpy. "Wew! What a day to come down South! I was trying to come by the express way, but they're repairing it... again."
>A wave of laughter sweeps across the entire bar. Tidal can't help but to chucklechort with her hooves in her muzzle.
>"And then I was in town, and I just had to notice the state of the algae gardens... didn't we have an edict that forbid us from hiring crab workers?" Another round of laughter, and Swirl is brought a spherical glass of drink. She takes a sip.
>"I... I really can't believe this shit... Anon, I'm scared" Tidal huddles closer to you.
"Me too, Tidal, me too..."
>"Wew! So, have you noticed that sharks in South swim like this..." she does an exaggerated, ondulated motion "and the ones in West swim like thiis?" She does a different kind of wave, and the public laughs massively at her.
"I don't get it" you whisper at Tidal.
>"Really? Fuck you, Anon, you're disgusting" Tidal replies, clearing tears from her eyes.
>A good hour or so goes by with Swirl doing her number. You wouldn't believe it, but the black and white shark knows how to make her kin laugh.
>By the end of the show, there's easily double the audience listening to Swirl. Finally, the shark bows down and outs herself.
>"Thank you, you've been an amazing public! I'll come back later today, and next week I'll be at the casino bar in North. Bye bye!" Your friend disappears behind the curtains of the stage, in a shower of applause, cheers and male sharks hissing and fighting for her love. Quite literally, a fight breaks on the other corner of the place.
"Seriously now, all that crap about not having friends? What for!?" You throw your hands in the air.
>"I don't know, dude, I'm just as confused. Fuck, she's so good, and I never knew..." Tidal places her chin on the table, barely supporting with her hooves. "We need to go see her."
"Agreed."
>Sneaking around, you find a door to the backstage. As soon as you set foot in it, though, a bulky shark stops you in your tracks.
>"Whatcha doin' 'ere?" He asks with a gruff voice.
"We, er, are friends of Swirl! Just take us to her, you'll see."
>You figure any cartoon worth his salt wouldn't fall for this, but never hurts to try. However, the big shark thinks about it for a while, then nods at you.
>"Aight, we'll see about dat. C'mere" he prompts you to follow him into one of the small backstage rooms, where he knocks on the door.
>"Who's there?" Swirl's voice comes from inside.
>"Miss, couple of weirdos sayin' they're yer friends" the security shark replies.
>"F-Friends? ...One moment" you hear scrambling and noise from inside. Tidal arches and eyebrow and looks at you. You mimic the act, partially to make her mad. It kinda works.
>Finally, the door opens, the security guy steps aside, and Swirl's head comes poking out. She immediately gasps as soon as she sees you both, and locks herself inside.
>"Swirl? Oi, Swirl!" Tidal knocks on the door, frustrated.
>"Aight, das enough, ye fockin'...!" The large shark is about to grab you both, when Swirl speaks from inside her room.
>"Wait! L-Leave them, they're friends of mine. J-Just go!"
>The shark looks at the door, puzzled, then gives you a stink eye and swims out of range, making sure to knock you on your ass with the shockwave of his kickstart.
"Ah! Motherf-!"
>"Uh, guys...?" Swirl opens the door again, cautiously, showing only one eye through. Tidal, however, pushes against her will. "O-Oi...!"
>"Just let us in, ya bloody faker."
>You follow Tidal inside the small room, complete with a couch and a sort of boudoir with a mirror. Your blue friend takes the couch and poses for Swirl, looking at her expectantly.
>"Well?"
>"W-Well what?" Swirl replies, slowly backing up into a corner. You close the door and sit near Tidal.
>"Swirl! What's all this!? Why didn't you tell us about this!?" Tidal jumps from the couch, real mad.
>"I-I don't know, I guess I was embarrassed...!" Swirl puffs her cheeks.
"What's the matter? From what I saw, those sharks loved your act."
>"That's an understatement! Fuck, Swirl, you're so good at comedy! Since when?"
>The black and white shark walks up to you two.
>"I just... kinda picked it up as a hobby... I worked up the confidence to ask in some clubs, and one of them just happened to have a free slot" Swirl smiles. "Guess they liked it enough, 'cause they asked me to come back, and then other places called me..."
>You recline and cross your hands while Tidal sulks and rolls around in the couch, grumbling. Swirl looks at the ground, then back at you.
>"I'm sorry... I didn't know how to act in this situation."
"Well Swirl, friends usually communicate their good news to their friends. You know, because that's a good thing? Tidal and I are very happy for you" you poke Tidal's tummy. "Isn't that right?"
>"Yea yea, of course it is. I'm just bummed that I only get to find out now..." the shark straightens in the couch. "If you're so good at comedy, how come you don't use that to make friends? For shame."
>"...You know I'm not good at making friends."
>You motion for the little shark to come over, then grab her by the neck and pet her casually.
"You'll have time for that. But seriously, you don't appreciate yourself enough."
>Tidal approaches and wiggles under your other arm.
>"Yeah girl, just ask us if you ever need help with stuff like this, dammit."
>"I... alright" Swirl chirps while embracing your cuddles. After a few minutes of silence, she turns around and lets go. "I have another show in a while. Wanna stay and watch?"
>"Do I!?" Tidal jumps from your arm and does a little whimsical dance. Cute as fuck. Swirl asks you both to leave her to prepare, and you depart the club from the back door, just to enter again.
"That solves the mystery, but damn, I would have never called it..."
>"Yea, but I hope she'll be more open about this stuff" Tidal pats her chest. "I've never kept anything from her. Or you... when you ask that is."
"Oh? What haven't I asked about?"
>"T-That is..." Tidal's cheeks become a bit red. "Shuddup."
"En garde!"
>"Eep!" Tidal defends herself, but it's too late, and a barrage of tickles and pets assaults her from all sides.
>Like that, the evening goes by, Swirl's second show is a success, and you three go back to the island for some celebratory juice.
>Thse days have been weird, but really, what can you expect from these little monsters. At least you're enjoying your last sprint in the road back to Ponyville. Fucking sharkponies.
END OF DAY 23
 
DAY 27
>On a lazy afternoon, you take a walk around your island with Tidal and Swirl.
>Of all the weird things to do, you just got a knack for this one; your banishment place is ridiculously small, but you're alright circling around the beach for hours, talking to them sharkponies.
>These past few days haven't been anything special, just sharing the days with the girls, drinking juice and playing.
>You know well that in a couple of day's you'll be gone; they know it too.
>But for whatever reason, neither of you is particularly sad. Maybe you've all come to terms with it.
>Right now your best bet is to make a good retelling of your story to princess purplehorse, and maybe, just maybe, she'll believe you.
>Like, come on, she loves this kinda stuff.
>"Whatcha thinkin', Anon?" Tidal just asks you. Right, you've been silent for a while.
"Just trying to figure out how to convince the ponies back home that you're real."
>"But what if we're not real? Uuuhuhuh..." Swirl bounces around you jokingly. You crack a laugh.
"Yeah, well, in that case you did a good job fooling me" you try to catch the slippery shark when she passes in front, but she evades your hands.
>"It's okay dude, maybe you can come visit when you're on vacation, or stuff" Tidal replies.
"You're both awfully calm, knowing that I'll be gone in three days."
>The sharks' expressions drop a bit. Swirl pouts.
>"It's not that we don't know, idiot" she replies, resuming a normal walk. "But we made a point not to make you sad."
"That's nice. I don't want you to be sad either."
>Swirl pouts even more, and that's your chance. You grab the tiny fish horse in your arms.
>"These days have been a bit strange, haven't they" she says, nuzzling your neck.
"I don't know, I've been living in this piece of shit universe for half a year or so anyways."
>"Oi, our universe is the shit, fuck you" Tidal replies, tugging on your shorts.
>Sighing, you sit down and eventually lay on the beach sands, wearing nothing but your shorts and some protective cream. Celestia's sun over the tropical coast is a real bitch.
>Swirl lays atop you, her breathing in sync with yours, while Tidal makes herself a home right beside you.
>It feels good, you've gotten used to petting these slippery, yet warm sharkponies with all your might. Swirl's heartbeat is so strong you can feel it atop yours.
>The cute shark burrows her head in your chest as much as possible, her pretty pink mane falling over her forehead. You push it back and caress her forehead. Damn you're gonna miss them.
>Actually, why not say that out loud, you bloody idiot?
"I'm gonna miss you two."
>Both sharks immediately look up to you. Swirl's expression remains neutral for the longest time, but eventually, her body shakes, and tears well in her eyes.
>"Anon... uuu... idiot!" She hits her head on your chest, sobbing and rubbing her body against yours. You grab her by the sides and steady her.
"I'll do my best to come around as soon as I can, promise."
>"Ya done fucked up, Anon" Tidal says with a snarky voice, laying on her side. Carefully, you stroke Swirl's dorsal fin, making her laugh a bit.
>Your friend calms down pretty quick, and you wipe the tears from her eyes.
"You've gotten better at not being a salty little bitch."
>"And you haven't got better at not being an absolute cunt" Swirl replies.
"Woow there!"
>"Ayy das my girl" Tidal laughs, and bumps her hoof against Swirl's side. The next minutes pass in silence.
>The sun is past your head, but the sky is so clear and bright, it's hard to stare for more than just a few seconds. So you give up and enjoy the weight and heat of your watery friend.
>"Hey dude..."
"What."
>"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight? I mean, because Swirl did it sometimes, but I've never done it before."
>You can feel Swirl smile, her tail coiling around your leg.
"Sure you can. It's a party in here, it damn well is."
>A hoof finds its way to your hand. You raise your head slightly and look, Tidal has her leg over your arm and is approaching slowly. Looks like you're gonna be trapped between two cuddly sharks for a while.
 
>Later, you and your blue friend enjoy the moonrise with some juice, while laying on the hammock between the palm trees.
>Swirl had tide shift tonight, so you won't be seeing much of her thunderous thighs.
>"Hey, dude."
>You look down and meet Tidal's gaze. Her golden eyes feel like a sweet honeyed balm washing over you under the sparkling moonlight.
"...Yes?"
>You almost can't speak, suddenly struck by the beauty of the situation. Just what could this seaborn goddess want from you?
>"More juice. Please."
>A hoof holding a glass boops you in the face.
>Ah, shit.
"Okay. Get offa me."
>You get up and examine the now empty bottle of juice you've been wasting with your friends tonight. At this rate, you'll exhaust your supply just a day before leaving. Then, you'll probably stop drinking juice at all, else you'll tarnish it with your tears.
>Fuck, no drama here. Be strong, since when are you such a crybaby?
>Then again, this exile turned into the vacation of your life.
>Somewhat stumbling, you reach for the fridge inside your hut and grab another bottle of the coveted liquid. Back outside, Tidal has stepped onto the beach, looking in the distance.
"What's up?"
>"Nasty storm forming up ahead" the shark replies, pointing at the horizon. Sure enough, there's a cluster of clouds almost covering the moon.
"Odd. I'd swear I've seen this scene before."
>Just then, lightning splits the sky before your eyes. Tidal flinches.
>"Whoa. Let's hope it doesn't carry all the way over here."
"Well, it never does."
>"What do you mean?"
>Yes, what do you mean, exactly? You've seen this scene before. The storm, the thunder and lightning, and something you can't exactly place that's bugging you...
"Wait a second."
>"Hm?"
"You know, there's been a few night storms like that one, and they always happened there, in that direction."
>"Really? So, not a coincidence?"
>You tap your chin while thinking. When was the last time you saw a storm like that one? It was the night before receiving the last supply crate, so five, six...
"Last one was a week ago, and I'm sure it was in that direction."
>"Creepy."
"I don't know, it was already weird enough that the storm lasted so little and never reached here."
>"Wanna investigate?"
"Tomorrow, maybe. Let's wait to see if it passes and then go to sleep."
>Surely enough, in just a few minutes the clouds dissipate and you go to sleep with Tidal. Her athletic frame does wonders in keeping bed space for both of you, specially when you're cuddling all the way into next morning.
END OF DAY 27
 
DAY 28
>During breakfast, you discuss with Tidal the possibility of investigating what's in the direction of the weird storms you've been seeing since you arrived at the island.
>"We can go right now, dude. Swirl won't get out of work until the afternoon."
"I guess that will keep us busy during the morning."
>Strapped to Tidal's waist, you let the living aqua jet carry you across the waves at top speed.
>The first thing you find in the direction of the storms is a bunch of mini islands much like your own, some a bit bigger, some a bit smaller. You set foot in the first one with Tidal in tow.
>"Aight... what should we be looking for?"
"Fuck, I don't know... if lightning struck here, there should be burned trees and such, no?" You ask, scratching your head.
>"Yeeah... I don't see any."
"Next shit island, then."
>You scan about five of the fuckers without finding anything useful. Damn, you're starting to get a bit annoyed at the situation.
>You know there's been several lightning strikes since you arrived at exile. You know at least two of them were in the same direction. It's not odd to think, in this magical world of bullshit, that something special is happening around.
>Just then, you spot something reflecting sunlight in one of the islands. You point Tidal in its direction and soon arrive at the destination.
>Yet another small patch of dirt and sand, even smaller than your own. There's a couple palm trees, and in the middle...
"The fuck?"
>"What?"
>In the middle of the island, firmly planted on the dirt, there's a long, shining golden trident, at least a couple heads bigger than you. The handle is very simple, but the head is ornate and what little can you see of the spikes shows that they're somewhat complex.
>"...Anon?"
"What's this, Tidal?"
>"What's what?"
"That thing in the middle" you point at the object.
>"Huh? Dude, there's nothing there."
>Wait, what.
"You're shitting me."
>"Hellooo?" The blue shark waves her hooves in front of your face, making you flinch. "Did I go too fast? Did you hurt your noggin'?"
"I'm not shitting you Tidal, there's a huge trident right there in the middle..."
>Wait a second.
>There's something very big happening here, and your mind is just trying to pick it up.
>A big trident. Tidal can't see it. Lightning strikes in this area every week or so...
>Just now, a conversation with Queen Alto flashes in your mind. She said something about her trident being able to absorb lightning...
"Hooo... shiiit..."
>"What, what!? Dude, you're making me nervous as fuck! Shit, cunts!" Tidal starts jumping all around you, smacking you with the tail. You brush the little shark aside and walk forward.
>This could go horribly wrong and you could die right now. Then again, you could have died a lot of times so far...
>So why the hell not. After taking a deep breath, you don't hesitate in pulling the trident off the ground.
"Yaaaargh!" You were expecting a shock of one gorillion kilovolts to run you into dust, but all that happens is that you fall on your ass due to the force, with Tidal yelping and getting out of the way.
>You stay there, on the ground, for a few seconds, while clutching the very much real trident in your hands. You take a look at it. This thing is regal as shit.
>"A-Anon..."
>Raising your upper half, you take a look at your friend. She's suddenly looking at you with mad eyes, her pupils contracting so hard they could crush diamonds.
>"W-What the fuck is t-that..."
"You tell me."
>You put the trident on the ground, and Tidal screams.
>"W-Where is it!? Where did it go?"
"The fuck are you on about? It's right he-"
>Oh wait. She can't see it if you're not touching it. Once you run your hand over the mast, the shark's breathing cuts again.
>"Dude..."
"You know what this is?"
>"No..."
"Where are we right now?"
>Tidal walks back to the coast and looks into the sea.
>"I'd say we're pretty much above the palace."
"Well I have a pretty good suspicion. Let's go see Alto."
 
>Tidal manages to get the bubble helmet from a very confused Swirl, as she tells you, and you go underwater immediately.
>After taking a detour to avoid curious gazes, you enter the palace and ask Tidal to go grab Swirl.
"If this is really what I think it is, the Queen will likely want some time alone" you tell her. "But then it's party."
>"Okay..." Tidal complies, her eyes fixated in the beautiful golden piece. You're left in the castle foyer, and immediately a couple of shark guards come greet you.
>It doesn't take a lot of persuasion for a guy like you holding an artifact like that trident to be granted access to the throne room. Alto rests idly in the high seat, reading some kelp book. The throne accentuates her slender frame nicely, mmm...
"Ahem."
>"Huh?" Alto raises her head. "Oh, Anonymous, good to see you... back..." her eyes go immediately to the trident you're holding up front. "Er..."
"I think this is yours" trying to look as cool and mature as your guts let you, you walk forward and put the trident at the steps of throne, still touching it with one hand.
>Alto drops her book with light speed, and immediately goes to touch the trident. You can visibly see her shudder when her hoof comes in contact with the rod.
>"This... I... what..." her eyes try to find an explanation in the trident, in yourself, in the present guards, who by the way are flipping out...
"Guess what" you point up. "It was right above palace. Invisible."
>"You've gotta be kidding me" Alto clutches the trident, forcing you to let go, but it doesn't go invisible this time. The queen and the guards are still looking at it. "This touch... yea, I remember this feeling... how did you?"
"Well, I saw that every week or so, lightning struck in a particular place in the ocean" you explain. "Huh... I guess it maybe needed to recharge?"
>"Every week... for the past thousand years" Ruh roh, Alto's getting mad. "I just..."
"I-If it helps, the fact that you can see it while I'm not touching it might mean something."
>The shark looks up to you, then back at the trident. A very wide smile forms in her lips.
>"Yes... yes! YES!" Suddenly, a metric ton of shark meat throws you to the ground and smothers you in dangerous huggles. "Anon, ya fockin' son of a shit! You did it! Fuck, shit!"
"O-Okay, ugh..." you hug the colossal queen back as best as your partially broken bones allow you.
>"I just... my brain can't properly take this in" Alto sings, getting off you and dancing around, her trident safely clutched in her tail. "Hyah!" She suddenly whips it, and a bolt of lightning strikes past you and into the corner of the throne room, a blue flash crossing water. "Haha! Yes! As good as ever! Whooo!"
>You just sit there and wait for Alto to finish dancing and cheering her massive weapon. The guards eventually join in, going as far as to hug the queen, who doesn't seem to mind it right now.
>"Anon, whatcha doin' down there, ya salty prick!?" She yells at you from the ceiling. "It's party time fucksakes!"
"Yeah, I think I'll stay here for a while..."
>In a flash, the queen descends all the way until her face is practically touching yours, her pupils shaking.
>"Like fuck you will."
 
>As commanded, you partied all day long.
>Your body suffered from the amount of hugs, kisses and tail rubs the sharks in East gave you after Alto announced the curse would finally be over.
>You suspect it was over since the moment you pulled the trident from the ground, but you can't prove it just yet.
>Meanwhile, Tidal and Swirl are absolutely ecstatic, the happenings shaking them from head to tail.
>"Anon, Anon!" The black and white shark tackles you. "Now you don't have to go back, right? You can stay with us if we ask them to, right?"
"Well, I don't know..."
>"Come on, Anon, ya bastard, I'll bite your dick off" Tidal's teeth bite water way close to your crotch, making you reel back. "Hah, just kidding!" She then swims up to you and hugs you from the other side.
"D-Dammit, you two, give me some room."
>" "Nuh uh." "
"Fug."
>"Actually, I wanted to strike a deal with you" Alto suddenly shows up, while parading her trident. Dozens of little sharks are crowded around it, touching it with reverence and worshipping the phallic weapon.
"Say what?"
>"Now that the curse is probably over, we need to start getting some diplomacy done" Alto sits beside you while the two sharks refuse to uncuddle you. "That's why I was thinking that you could do us the honor of being a first mediator. An ambassador, kinda."
>Tidal and Swirl's heads raise.
>"Y-Your Highness, that..."
>"Of course" Alto raises a hoof to stop them, "I wouldn't trust Anon alone. We need sharks who know our laws and can make proper conversation. So I was thinking of sending one of our judges, let's say..." she playfully moves a hoof around, pointing a different sharks, before settling on Tidal. "How about you, Tidal. Are you good enough to represent the shark kingdom?"
>The blue and black shark immediately drops you and stands straight in front of her queen.
>"Y-Yes ma'am! I'll spread the glory of the sharks all over the land, ma'am!"
"Plus you get to come with me."
>Tidal breaks, a grin appearing in her muzzle. Alto replies with a smile of her own.
>"Of course, after a thousand years, our customs have changed. We need an expert in culture and history..." she points at Swirl. "You're a well read shark, Swirl. Do you think you'll be up to this task?"
>"B-Buh! I mean, of course, Your Highness!" The other shark leaves you and stands right beside Tidal, head held high.
>"Then it's settled" Alto speaks out to the other sharks. "These two sharks and Anonymous will be the diplomatic party that will restart our relations with the surface creatures!"
>There's a thunderous roar and applause, tails slapping, sharks hugging, and your friends cheering all the way into the night.
END OF DAY 28
 
DAY 29
>This is it. The moment of truth.
>Swimming atop Tidal's back, shirt and trunks on, you slowly approach Equestria's coast.
>Carrying with you a letter to Princess Twilight, basically explaining the whole situation of these past days.
>You're technically sorta kinda maybe breaking exile with this, but risks have to be taken.
>Now if only bookhorse will believe it...
>"Jeez Anon, you're fucking dense up there. Chill dude."
"I'm trying..."
>"'S gonna be fiiine."
>Finally, you dock at the beach. Not far from here there's a small town, a small dirt path running from the end of the beach towards it.
>Luckily, you find a mail office right before entering town. As much as you want to test the theory that sharks are not invisible anymore, you don't want to cause a ruckus. The less witnesses the better.
>Inside the mail office, a purple mare with a soft blue mane rests behind a counter, idly looking at the ceiling with a smile on her muzzle.
"Excuse me?"
>"Yes?" The pony looks down, and her face contorts as soon as she sees you and Tidal. Her eyes go from one to the other, unsure of what to think. "Uuuh... what can I do for you?"
>Tidal too has her eyes locked on the pony, as if she had never seen one before. Oh wait.
"I'd like to send this letter to Princess Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville please. Top urgency."
>"I, sure thing..." the pony grabs your letter and scribbles something on it. Her eyes keep moving towards Tidal every now and then. "The postage fee is..."
"Charge it to the Princess, she knows me" you tell her, and immediately walk out, dragging Tidal by the tail.
>"Alright, alright!" The shark exclaims once you're out. "You don't have to be so rude!"
"So how was the first contact with ponykind?"
>"Like, holy shit dude, she was a pony and everything!" Tidal screams in joy. "Why can't we stay and talk to them ponies?"
"Better not count this as a first contact. We need to do this diplomatically, or not?"
>"Tsk, I guess..." the sharkpony dejectedly walks walk with you to the beach. "Still, that was fuckin' cool. I can't wait to be in the mainland with ya."
"Hah. Yeah, me neither. It's going to be fun..."
>Later that day, you have a private party on the exile island with Alto and Swirl.
>"So it's broken at least. Fuck me" the queen of all sharkponies so declares, laying on the beach. "It's finally over... can't believe this shit happening."
>"Alright, Your Highness, don't be so rude" Swirl grabs her hoof gently. "When will I be able to join Anon and Tidal?"
>"Hmm... first let them a couple of weeks to make contact and shit. Meanwhile, I want you to stock up in whatever info we have about the Equestria of a thousand years ago" Alto shrugs. "It's the best we can make do with."
>"Alright!" The black and white shark chirps, before pouring herself another juice. With this, all of your bottles have been depleted, just in time to go.
>"Imma miss you, mussel" Alto walks up to you. "Be sure to take care of my children, or I'll bite yer dick off for reals."
"You can rest easy" you raise your glass. "A toast. To fucking sharkponies."
>" " "Fucking sharkponies!" " " The three sharks echo with their juicefuls.
END OF DAY 29
 
DAY 30
>A crashing loud noise wakes you up.
>That didn't sound like anything you know.
>Getting up, and making sure you don't look like an absolute shipwreck, you exit the cabin.
>And there, right before you, stands a royal chariot powered by two burly pegasus guards.
>One of the stallions walks up to you.
>"Mister Anonymous?"
"That would be me, yeah."
>"We come by the order of Princess Twilight Sparkle" he pulls a roll of paper from his armor and reads. "We're here to escort you back to Ponyville, as well as the ambassador of a pony race long ago lost."
>It takes you a few seconds, but finally, you sigh in relief. She did believe you, the absolute madmare.
"That's great... I don't think the ambassador is here yet, but she will arrive very soon."
>"In that case, we'll wait" the guard nods, and goes back to his place beside the other pony.
>Alto did tell Tidal yesterday to pack her things and go to bed soon, so your friend should be on the way...
>"Yoo, Anon!"
>There she is. Carrying a sort of bag made of intertwined kelps, Tidal appears in the shore, happily trotting towards you.
>She stops in her tracks as soon as she spots the two guards. Her jaw goes to the floor.
>"Dude, fuckin' sick!"
>Bloody hell, here we go. You cough and straighten yourself. Let's see if you can still do this...
"Sirs, I present you Tidal Wave, ambassador of the sharkponies."
>"Huh? Oh, hey, yeah, 'sup" the shark waves at them. No amount of smooth tongue is going to save her cred at this rate.
"Yo, Tidal, calm the fuck down. Act like a diplomat, shit" you whisper in her ear.
>"Oh, shit, right! I mean, ahem" the shark adopts a completely different posture and her voice changes into one drastically more serious. "It's nice to meet you, gentlesirs. I assume you will be our escort for the journey into the mainland."
>That's much better. The stallions look at each other, then nod.
>"That's right, miss. If you two would step in the chariot, we'll be ready to go."
>Ah shit, you forgot to pack your things. Asking for a moment, you leave the ponies and enter the cabin.
>Immediately, you feel strangely sad about it. It's only been a month, but you've done a lot in this cabin, spent time with friends, drank a shitload of juice. You're still glad you got something out of all this. Hell, maybe you'll start being nicer to the ponies...
>Yeah, nah.
"Alright, I'm done. Let's go, Tidal."
>"Alright."
>Your things packed, you and the sharkpony step into the chariot and hold on while the pegasi run across the miserable island and take off just a few hooves short of water. You take one last look down at the exile island as it becomes smaller in the distance.
>"Well, your exile is over" Tidal slaps your hand with her tail. "What do you think, did you learn something?"
>You sit in the chariot and think.
"I don't know if I've learned anything, to be honest..."
>Tidal regards you with a cocky look.
"But I couldn't miss on these friends I made" you finish, messing her mane with your hand.
>The sharkpony laughs and strikes back, causing you to laugh as well. Yeah, even if you're still kind of a dick, this land of cartoons proved to you that even jerks can make friends.
END OF DAY 30
30 DAYS OF SHARKPONIES - THE END