Title:           Jerry can't be dealin' with dis gay horse shiet.
Author:          Faggoat
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/jiapzDq7
First Edit:      Wednesday 30th of October 2013 10:15:34 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 30th of October 2013 10:15:34 PM CDT

>You are Anonymous.
>And you finally have it.
>The Equinium Ring.
>Three years of constant alchemical work along with magical smithing has now resulted in the magical ring that when worn will take you to Equestria.
>Your hands tremble as you set it down on the pedestal.
>Taking a few steps back to observe your masterpiece, you fail to notice the shadow creeping up behind you.
>A soft thump and you're out cold.
>You wake up several hours later with a large bump on your head and of course, you look at the pedestal first.
>Oh no... it's gone!
 
>You is Jerry Curlz, meanest mo'fuckin baller dis sida o' town.
>And you is in the gayest mo'fucking place ever.
>You got all zapped n' shit when you tried that flavah ass ring on.
"Da fuck is going on?"
>The place you'z in look like some rich white dudes crib.
>Everything is white n' shit with colorful drapes.
>Nigga even got pillars in this mo'
>A bunch of horses are looking at ya
>One of them looks like some kinda bug horse
>She hisses, HISSES?! No bitch be hissin at J-Curlz!
>"Who is this monkey that dares interrupt me in my moment of victory?!"
>The crazy bug horse was standing over some white horse with a burned horn
>Oh das fucking gay
>Unicorns n' shit?
"Wait, did this bitch just call me a monkey? AW HELL NO!"
>You gonna go ham on this bitch
>You stroll yo fine ass over there and size her up
>She does some bullshit with her horn, all glowin n' shit
>She shoots some green bullshit at you but it just bounces of yo' fresh chains
"WRONG MOVE, BITCH NIGGA!"
>You give dis crazy ho a good ol' five across the face
>She be out like a candle
 
>After sum awkward silence these gay ass horses starts cheering you n' shit
>One of them helps the white horse up
>She looks fuck'd up
>The horses with fuckin' old ass armor ties the bug bitch up
>They showerin' you with confetti
>Man, why?
>One purple horse dancin' like a white man
>They give you some weak ass drank
>Then they ask you what you want fo' savin' em and shit
>Shiiiiiet, always da black man saving whitey's ass
"Oh fo sho I'll take some 40 ounce and a pack o' newports, I ain't greedy"
>They explain they don't have anything like that here
"Then I wanna go home, dis place whack as looney toons"
>The white bitch does some glowy ass shit with her horn and you're back at home.
>You throw the stupid ring out the window, shit probs ain't worth even pawning.
>You gonna go back and beat that green mo'fucka up later.
>Gay as horses