Title:           Dadonequus Discord Part 242
Author:          Erf1111
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/9nXwPPGP
First Edit:      Friday 26th of August 2016 04:54:19 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 27th of August 2016 05:28:37 AM CDT

>As you and Chrysalis just stare up at her, Gilda hovers in as RD makes a second observation. "Ahhh, nevermind. It's just a foal and his....mom?..." she stared hard at Chrysalis "Aren't you a little young to be his mom?"
>Chrysalis snaps back at her "Aren't you a little old to be saying words like "Cool" and "Awesome" ?"
>"Hey!...those words are timeless! Who are you to talk?!" Rainbow Dash shakes her front leg at her like an angry fist.
>"Agh Dash, come on. They aren't worth our time, let's just cuff these dweebs and book em. They are obviously part of that smelly hippy group" Gilda says as she hovers over to her side.
>"Smelly hippy?! How dare you! I'm not smelly you simple birdbrained moron! And you...Timeless? Why don't you run home to mother and tell her you're dressing up as a stallion. I'm sure she'd be proud" Chrysalis was really angry, never fuck the mind you both were caught by fucking "police chief" Dash. She did not want to take those insults lying down.
>As for you, you were scared as shit, what the fuck could you do here? As you stood there shaking, Gilda looked down at you and gave you an dissolute expression. She did not look like she had good intentions. Was she looking at your bag? And what the fuck was Chrysalis doing?! She was a lot crankier than usual, you thought she'd conduct herself better.
>Wait.......you were in a situation in which police were hassling you. there was a misunderstanding. and you had a chance to be anyone you wanted. You don't know how, but you started to think hard on how cartoon characters would handle this....if this didn't work..you just might crap yourself.
"NYMOUS! MY ROYAL ADVISER AND CARETAKER! STAND DOWN! WE WILL NOT MAKE ENEMIES WITH FRIENDS OF EQUESTRIA! I, PRINCE ANON, DECREE IT!"
>And that....made everyone stop with a look of "wut?"
 
>"Prince what? Oh, you gotta be kiddin'. There's no way you're a prince. Nice...no, ya know what? That wasn't even a nice try, that was terrible" Gilda states, she didn't even seem to find it funny.
>"Yeah, what's up with you kid? You couldn't come up with anything better than that? I mean seriously, prince? Randomly out of nowhere? Ain't buyin' it." Rainbow Dash shrugged
"But I am too a prince! Nymous, tell them!"
>Come onnn.....Chrysalis...
>"A-ahhh yes, he is indeed a prince" Chrysalis bows to you without hesitation or reluctance "I'm sorry prince Anon, forgive my rudeness. It won't happen again"
>Ahh damn, she went right into it without any trouble.
"Good, now then, fine police ponies, let us conduct business"
>You look up to them, but they only smiled, then chuckled, then began to laugh, they had to land to keep themselves from losing balance.
>"Dash, are ya hearin' this?! That's too hilarious! He thinks we're actually buyin' it. What a dweeeeeeb!" Gilda chortled
>"I know! It's pretty cute actually! I think I can even forgive Miss snoots over there, that's rich! Seriously kid, it's too much!" Rainbow Dash was doing her best to calm down, but it sounded so damn hilarious to her. "I mean, how would you even prove it? You don't look like you have anything on you that would make you princely C-cmon, lets go down to the station before I choke. Hahahaha"
>...You had to think, because Chrysalis looked like she was going to lose her shit. What was wrong with her? She's usually calmer than this.
>....wait...
>You take off your bag and tip it over, causing your bits to fall out from the overflow. Immediately Gilda and Rainbow Dash stop laughing. They just looked upon the bits with amazement. not even greed...just...amazement.
 
>Gilda took one immediately and bit down on it. Her beak didn't pierce the coin. Her eyes then went wide. "Yo Dash......these are real"
>"It can't be..." Rainbow Dash took one of her own and tried to bend it with her teeth. It didn't bend, she then took a close eye on it. Then her eyes too, went wide. "No way....these are real. I haven't seen this many old style bits in so long. I thought most of them got melted down when they converted the rainbow factory....but this is the real deal. How did you come across all this kid?"
>Old Style bits?....shit, you better keep up the prince act.
"Prince please? Call me prince Anon...it's my title after all"
>Rainbow Dash was now getting suspicious of you, prince? With all these "old style" bits? "Uh huh...Prince of what exactly?"
>......
"Erm..."
>"Don't waste your time speaking my liege, you need to save your energy after such a long trip." Chrysalis steps to you and gives you a gentle pat before facing Rainbow Dash "He is the prince of Bueno Aires. A very very distant land that not many have heard of. These bits here are what we had from our treasury. We value current exchange and the currencies of any and all land. We had come to Equestria for vacation AND business purposes...are you to tell me these bits have become expired?"
 
>Gilda now seemed a little worried "Yo Dash, I think these guys are the real deal. I don't want to cause no war here."
>"Y-yeah...erm. To er...answer your question...ma'am. Y'see, when Flim and Flam became kings-"
"THEY BECAME WHAT?!"
>Everyone looks at you funny again. Chrysalis giving you an expression to calm down.
"Ahrm...Sorry, erm..I have issues with my father and succession...it's...umm..sorta a trigger in my brain"
>you chuckle nervously.
>"Right..erm..anyway. They errr, had all the old bits collected. Melted down at the old rainbow factory. Converted into the new flimflam style bits. and redistributed evenly across Equestria. It kinda went well, Me and Gilda pooled it all together to get to the top and get these comfy jobs. Other ponies didn't seem to understand, and now there poor and homeless...I kept telling Fluttershy spending bits on animals was dumb...but she just didn't listen..." There was a hint of sadness in Rainbow Dash's voice before she shrugged it off "But whatever, her choice, not mine, I'm not giving this job up for anything."
>...ahh right...Equestria did have factories afterall..how could you forget the rainbow factory?...but..more importantly.
"Wasn't there a couple of princesses ruling before?"
>"Yeesh, you guys really are far away. There was only one actually, but when King Flim and King Flam swung by and started improving Equestria with all this cool stuff and making it safer, everypony opted her out and voted them in. I mean, check this out!" Rainbow Dash brandishes her leg attached blaster "Who needs stupid magic when you got this thing?"
 
>...what in the fuck happened to this world that the ponies voted out fucking Celestia?!
"I-I see...erm...so are these kings in this town?"
>Rainbow Dash shook her head as she took a card out of her shirt and stamped it "Nah, they live up in Canterlot...speaking of which..." Rainbow Dash walked over to you and handed you a card "Here, the bosses up top want me to give these cards to any big business pony they haven't met yet. Since you're a prince and all, I guess that counts. For three days you can eat for free, sleep for free, and can use this to get a ride over to Canterlot if you head down to the "rental and rides" place down in Flamsville's northern side. Just remember to stick to the right, Flimsville is on the left side. You can tell which town you're in by checking out the statue of the kings where Golden Oaks library used to be. Wellll, anyway. Me and my deputy has got important work to do...so uhhh...sorry about everything and you two enjoy...the towns...erm..yeah. Really really sorry about the trouble...and if you need law enforcement immediately, just show em that card and your golden...welp..erm...seeya!" Rainbow Dash gives you a nervous salute and flies off. Gilda following her.
>Chrysalis just looks at them fly off with pure agitation. "How do you like that. Their greeted with royalty and they fly off, that birdbrained oaf even stole some of your bits while you weren't looking. I'm sure "Rainbow Dash" took notice...we got fleeced. Ahh well, we still have plenty...and they seem more valuable then they were back home...so then..."prince"...what do we do now?" Chrysalis looks to you, waiting for your answer.
>...she was acting really odd.
"Chrysalis....are you alright? You kinda got more angry than usual there."
>you were....actually concerned. Both with her agitation and asking for orders.
 
>"I'm fine..." Chrysalis rolls her eyes at you and turns away "Just disappointed we just didn't end them. Not like it matters here....now then. What do you want to do? Since you want to take charge, you might as well lead."
>....something was up, you could just tell. Even in her transformed state, she wasn't looking so hot.
"Alright...let's go into town and check out how things are. absorb the culture. Then we'll get going to Canterlot, get a hotel, and see the "Kings" first thing in the morning. Sound like a plan?"
>She nods "The best we have I suppose....let's go"
>And so you both wander into town. A mini replica of manehatten mixed with some human intricacies like Cars,gas stations, and plenty of ponies just walking around...none of em looking pleased about anything.
>God...you were having nolstalgic flashbacks. The worst part was the huge road that separated the towns. All that noise, all those cards.......christ. All that road rage even.
"This place is terrible..."
>"I ag-Omph! HEY WATCH IT!" Chrysalis shrieks as a pony bumps into her.
>"Why don't you watch it!" The pony yells back
>"I'll tear you apart you useless slug!" She continues to yell.
>"Whatever, I have work to get to. go be a nuisance somewhere else!" The pony turns around to continue on his way
>"..Why you..."
>You tug at Chrysalis to try to calm her down
"Nymous...Nymous..just let it go...it's just...geez, it's just how places like these are..I can't believe it's actually like this at all...It's just like home."
>".....I see...mnnngrrr. These ponies piss me off as much as the nice ones. All that bustling,shouting at one another on the streets, they don't even take the time to say hello...it's sickening."
>Yeah...totally odd. You'd think she'd be ok with that.
"We just gotta relax....yeah, maybe we should just head over to that place they mentioned and hitch a ride. there might be a place to get some eats..."
>Chrysalis eyes you with a mean look
 
"....sorry, I forgot you feed on.......oh shit...."
>....was that it?
"....Chrysalis...are you hungry?"
>"......." She just turns away from you "Let's just get to Canterlot already...."
>.....she hadn't gotten food since she got here. hell, the trip from one end of the dead everfree to the other was pretty damn long. And Gilda and Rainbow Dash didn't help things.
"Alright, let's just...hrn?
>You noticed a cloaked figure with a familiar pink tail coming out from the back end...well..familiar in color, the tail was straightened. She was following a rich set of ponies strolling down the other end of the street on the town divide.
"...Pinkie?"
>You whisper to yourself.
>And then, she snatches something stealthily from them and runs off in another direction into an alley.
"Chrysalis...gimme a moment..."
>It was almost like being spirited away. She said "What are you doing?" But you weren't paying attention as you try to cross the street, but cars started either stopping or forcing you to run as they yell at you to get off the street.
"Ahh geez!"
>You scamper and dodge
>"GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID URCHIN!"
>"GOSH DARNED DUMB KIDS!"
>Shiiiieett
>You dove for the sidewalk as you took deep breaths.
"T-that...That was stupid..."
>"Clearly..."
>Wha?!
>You look up, to see Chrysalis right above you.
"What?!....I didn't know you could teleport!?"
>"What are you talking about you idiot? I can't teleport, I just used that path all those other ponies started walking across to get to the other side, see?" She points....to a crosswalk...
"...ugh...fuck me"
 
>You get up quickly and rush over to the alley Pinkie dove into
"Come on! We gotta chase after her before she gets away!"
>Chrysalis just followed at a slower pace "...Why...Exactly?"
"We just do..come on!"
>You run through the alleyway, only to come to a dead stop when you notice Pinkie with her hood down, looking at a dead end wall. "Darn it! Why do i always run into the alleys with brick walls?" She said, annoyed with herself.
>You slowly approach her from the backside, and calmly speak
"Pinkie?"
>"EEEP!" Pinkie springs around to face you. "...u-uummm..heya...little colt...and erm....miss. How are ya doin?" She smiles nervously, sweating, waving her hoof. Her mane....was flat, non puffy, like when she is Pinkamena...but she didn't look insane or crazy.
>She was nervous...christ...she became a thief...if Rainbow Dash said was true. she may also have spent her bits irresponsibly.
"Pinkie...erm...Hi, um...So...I'm fine....how are you?"
>"I'm......wait....how do you know my name?" She looked pretty confused, until she narrowed her eyes at you "...are you from another dimension?"
>..Goddammit Pinkie! Stop breaking existential boundaries!
"N-no...no. Look, I just heard about you from somewhere. And then I noticed you stealing something. What happened?"
>"..." Pinkie flinched and stepped back carefully "...heard about me?...so you know...I take stuff?.....are you gonna turn me in?"
"No...no i'm not"
>You give her a kindly face and step forward.
>"Then how have you heard of me and yet not gonna turn me in?....do you know how weird that sounds?...that's like...super weird...or a bad joke..." Pinkie looked like she was getting ready to spring above you.
"..Pinkie, I know it sounds weird...and sudden. But....can you tell me what happened?...I need to know"
 
>"What happened?....what? you're right...that is sudden. You chase me in here, you know who I am, and now you're asking me what happened and I don't even know what that means." Pinkie reaches her hoof out towards you, and touched your nose before pulling back "....but you're real. Don't you know there's cash rewards for turning in thieves?"
>Chrysalis raises an eyebrow at her "...is that advantageous to you to just blurt out like that?"
>"I'm just saying, sheesh. It's like you aren't trying to trick me to turn me in...well!" Pinkie yells at the both of you "Turn me in already!.....wait!...D-Don't do that!" Pinkie backed off onto the wall, pressing her back to it, scared "P-please?"
>........that was Pinkie alright. Same as she's always been. But..you had to be more clear.
"N-no, Pinkie. Look, I'm not gonna do that. I need to know what happened to you exactly, what happened to Equestria, what happened to Princess Celestia"
>Pinkie stayed silent for a moment. She found this entire encounter weird. "...I think this is the first time anypony has trapped me just to ask questions....but....do you promise to not turn me in if I tell you?"
"I Pinkie promise"
>Pinkie looked really confused at that "......what?"
>....you felt your heart wrench on that one. Pinkie not even knowing the pinkie promise?
"It's a special promise among friends, it means you'll never break it, you do it like this...Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye"
>you do the motions. Pinkie just nods, and almost immediately understands. like it was natural.
 
>"....I think I get it...wow..wait." Pinkie's eyes go wide, then tear filled. you notice her mane wiggle just a little "Did you say "Among friends"?....we're friends now?"
>"I wouldn't OMPH!" You nudge Chrysalis before she could finish that sentence
"Yes...so please. Tell me what you know"
>Pinkie nods and sits down to explain. "Alright friend! Well let's start with Celestia since I really dunno what happened with her. See, I've lived on a rock farm for a very very long time, so we don't really know what goes on. But what I DO know is that ponies got really upset and angry at her...so she stepped down."
>"...she...stepped down? Just due to a few angry ponies? That doesn't sound like her" Chrysalis contemplated
>"I wouldn't know...she just stepped down, but she still apparently lives in Canterlot. As for Equestria....you really don't know?"
>You shake your head
>"Well....King Flim and King Flam took over after she stepped down. Everypony loved them because they gave money to everypony and stopped so many bad guys. They even defeated King Sombra when the Crystal Empire appeared"
>"WHAT?!" both you and Chrysalis yell out at the same time.
>Pinkie was surprised "Didn't you hear? They stomped him with the crystal heart. The book says they used their super improved helicopter machine to get up to a tower, then they used this cannon thing on the copter to shoot the heart into him. It was apparently amazing that all the Crystal Ponies instantly loved them....surprised you never heard"
 
>they fucking.....what?!
>You look to Chrysalis...who just looks to you.....WUT?!
"...o-ok..e-ermm...s-so..."
>you clear your throat.....good christ.....
"Ahrm..ummm...so, why did you resort to stealing?"
>Pinkie winced, and looked down in shame. ".....Because we have no money. Nopony needs rocks anymore now that theres all these fancy gadgets and gizmos. Nopony likes rocks or coloring rocks or even eating rocks in soup. Mom and Dad didn't want to cut a deal with the Kings because they didn't trust them, so we fended for ourselves until the farm went belly up. Then we moved here. I tried using my share of the money everypony got to start a party shop...but nopony wanted my kind of parties...they wanted the much more extravagant ones. So...I only steal enough to help my family. I try to do more....but Boulder.....boulder is so brave...he forgoes his food so we can have just a little more....poor Maud...it breaks her heart....everday"
>Pinkie started to sob. Was...was that true? After seeing RD...and every other pony...
>"....Relax dear, I understand your pain. I too know the hardships of providing for a family. But please, cheer up. you're with friends now. And we care about you" Chrysalis says softly, with love in her voice.
>Wut?
>"R-really?...T-thank you...I'm...really glad to know there's still friendly ponies around" Pinkie's mane started to slightly inflate.
>...Chrysalis was making a set up...wait...money...ahhh!
"She's right...infact..."
>You take off your bag, and open it, spilling out a good amount of bits.
"I hear these old style bits are worth a lot. Why don't you take some?"
 
>Pinkie just stares at them, utterly astonished "............I-is this a joke?"
>you shook your head with a smile
"Nope, I want you to have them. But you have to call me Nonny. And I'll call you Ponk, how does that sound?"
>Pinkie's Mane and tail inflated to full on fluff. She smiled, and cried, and pulled you over to cry on you "T-THANK YOU SOO MUCH NONNY! OHHHHHH.....MNNNNNGHHHHHH. THAT'S...S-SO MUCH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU GOT IT! BUT....BUT....THE FACT YOU'RE JUST GIVING IT TO ME....OHHHH...BOULDER IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY TONIGHT WAHHHHH!" She wailed.
>you just pat her on the back and nuzzle in her warm but wet embrace
"It's ok Ponk, just make sure you put it all to good use ok?"
>"I will! I wil!! And since we're such good friends already! I'll give you a nickname too...hmmnn...what about...Anon!"
>....oh wait NO!
"N-no, Ponk....The reason I said to call me Nonny is because that ISWFED"
>She gave you a super tight hug "YUP! ANON SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST NICKNAME EVER!"
 
>You were shaking as she put you back down...s-shit...why does everyone hug you so damn tightly.
>"Say! I know! Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight. I'm sure seeing some friendly faces would do our whole family some real good!" Pinkie says cheerfully.
>"Accctuuaalllyy, me and..Nonny...need to be going. We have important work to do. Besides, I'm sure your family will be ecstatic with just the money you'll have." Chrysalis cuts in.
>"Awwwwww.....really?" Pinkie was pretty disappointed
>Chrysalis nods "It's very important. But just the fact you're so happy is enough to fill our hearts with love" Chrysalis gives her a cheerful smile.
>"...Ok...Well, I wish you both a very very very safe trip! And when you're done! Maybe you both can stop by sometime!"
>You smile...that sounded nice..especially after what you have seen so far.
"That's be nice Ponk"
>And with that Pinkie went on her way. She said she'd sneak the item she stole back to the owner before they noticed. And she just...bounced off like old Pinkie would.
>As you saw her bounce off...you look to Chrysalis.
"She wasn't lying about any of that right?"
>Chrysalis shook her head "No, she was giving off high amounts of love"
>You nod
"Is it enough?"
>"It'll do. Being a queen means I need to feed more than my drones...but this will do."
"Good..."
>You just stare off towards the exit of the alleyway
"And good luck Pinkie"
 
>So, it seems Flim and Flam were doing some wheeling and dealing. They were making deals it seemed. With business owners? Is that why you had this card? Seems even if they didn't take the deal they still got the money. But what exactly was this "Deal"? And even then, there was still a lot of holes. How did they get so rich? How exactly did they get Celestia to step down? Why are ponies such assholes? and why is everything they are getting away with seems ok. You needed more info on the holes and even the details Pinkie gave you. But for now...there was something you needed to discuss with Chrysalis as you both walked to the rental and ride place.
>You both tried to stay on the emptiest part of the sidewalk. It was getting late, the sun was going down. and the streets were emptying just a bit...nowhere near as it normally would in your Ponyville.
"So...Nymous. I have a question for you."
>Chrysalis rolls her eyes "If it's about the pink one, I only did what I did for the love, don't look too deeply into it"
>You shake your head
"No, I figured that much. I'm talking about a sleepover with Diamond Tiara"
>Chrysalis's eyes light up as she grins "..ohhhhhh, I nearly forgot about that"
"Yeeeaaah, why exactly did you tell her to invite you? I know you don't need the love. So are you doing it to just fuck with me?"
>She snickered and then looked forward as she brushed her mane back. "A little, it also helps settle in that I'm your kind and loving sister, and it actually helps you with your relationship...you might even have sex. Shame about that other filly....oohh...she'd be soooo jealous"
>Now you snickered....ohhh..she didn't know.
"Oh? Funny you mention that. Because Applebloom recently learned a friendship lesson that basically finally ended that little string she was keeping on me. I guess that means I'll actually be doing the fucking....with you I mean."
>Chrysalis denied it however "Don't be naive, how could she possibly be over you so suddenly?"
 
"....You'd be surprised what happens when you learn causing chaos in somepony's life is ultimately wrong. You just need a solid example from a spirit of chaos itself."
>"What are you...." She stopped for a moment, and then said with a venomous whisper "Discord..."
>You chuckle
"Bingo, and I'm not worried about having sex either. You're just saying that to worry me. Looks like I win this time, eh? Because all you're doing is bringing me closer to Diamond Tiara without being torn apart by Applebloom. At this point, I don't mind it at all. I'm free from that triangle nonsense"
>Chrysalis did a low growl "....fantastic....still" She calms down just a little "I'm still going to make it happen. You're still too much of a loser to truly handle making that filly yours."
>Wha huh?
"Excuse me? I think I'm doing just fine."
>"Until she starts making demands or commanding you. You don't think I don't know that you bend to her whims? You need help, period. And I'm the only one who can give you that help"
>....you didn't need help...mnnngrrr
"Yeah no...you're just saying that because it's food."
>She chuckles "That certainly helps..."
"more like thats the only reason. Like I said, I can handle it just fine."
>"You mean like you handled that false fight I heard about? Oh yes, truly stupendous work."
>Dammit.....
".......you're a bitch..."
>Chrysalis grinned "I know, I'm getting to really like it too"