Title:           Day 8 new
Author:          Dapper4
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/rsxTCy6y
First Edit:      Sunday 1st of November 2015 12:18:55 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Tuesday 21st of June 2016 03:01:28 AM CDT

>"Hey you! You want to eat this?"
>Gilda presented you with a black greasy mess in a pan
"No."
>Gilda scoffed and tossed it into the trash
>"It's there if you want it."
"I won't."
>"Dick."
>Its good to see she learned a new insult
>You were actually cooking breakfast before she barged in
>"Don't say i haven't done anything." Was what she had said
>And by the looks of it she didn't do much either, besides burn a hole in through metal
>Gilda turned her back to you and tossed the pan onto the stove
>Before you could scold her for mistreating your cookware, Twilight stepped out of the bathroom
>"Hmm, morning all."
>"Outta my way."
>Gilda shoves Twilight aside and slams the door behind her
>"Geez, what's her problem?"
"Uh. When you gotta go, you gotta go?"
>Sitting at the table with an empty plate gives Twilight the impression you need to be fed
>"Ooh, don't get up Anon. I'll cook breakfast!"
"You sure? Remember what happened last time."
>"It's fine...hehe. I just needed to get used to your kitchen is all. Who do you think cooked dinner last night?"
"You guys had dinner?"
>She gives you a cute smile
>"Mm-hmm."
"Oh, good then. Cook away, i guess."
>You hear some muttering coming from the bathroom followed by a bang
>Twilight looks at you
>Shrugging you turn your attention to the TV
>The whole time Gilda was uh, 'cooking', you were trying to decide whether or not to flick it on and get an update on the flood
>Those fat retards had it coming though
>Right?
>Why were you feeling bad?
>Your guilty conscious finally gets the best of you
>"This is Channel 8 news. With Angelina Jolie, Mark Hamill, and sports with Bruce Wayne."
>"Welcome back, our coverage continues on the flood waters now slowly retreating from our area."
>"That's right Angelina, and at the top of our list is the bizarre turn of events that led to several obese young men having to be rescued from the bridge outside..."
>"Here you are anon!"
>Twilight drops a perfectly poached egg with a side of toast and some bacon in front of you
"But, how...?"
>"It was easy. All i did was follow the recipe and keep the flame low, to keep from burning it of course."
>Several two syllable words followed some repetitive bangs from the bathroom
>"I wonder what that's about."
>You pay her no mind as you chow down
>"...with the report. Rick?"
>"Yes Angelina, i interviewed several of the young men yesterday, some of the young men that managed to escape the deluge rather, and got some pretty mixed answers as to what conspired."
>You turn your attention back to the TV that now showed previously recorded footage of the flood followed by a voice over
>"It started as a perfect day, maybe a few clouds but nothing to worry about..."
>The scene switched from a picnic to an overflowing river bank
>"...until late afternoon that is."
>The shot changed to one of the spergs
>The Goddamn idiot was wearing a muddy fedora
>The interview began with him tipping his hat and thanking Rick for being interviewed
>"Simply put we were on the trail of a fugitive when the dastardly villain outfoxed us."
>"Uh, i'm sorry. Who tricked you?"
>"I'm afraid i cannot divulge that information to you, or the police for that matter.."
>This faggot actually thought he was being smart about it
>But then, they did figure out where you live
>"...all i can say is "Bravo sir" you got us with the old cell phone switcharoo."
>You frown
>"The what? Uh, nevermind. Can you tell us what your friends were doing on the bridge? Why didn't they get away while they could?"
>He chuckled
>Like haughtily
>"I wouldn't expect your simple plebeian mind to understand our motivation or intentions. Safe to say my comrades were intent on staying down there as long as they needed to, in order to find the source of that signal."
>Rick, who was off camera, was audibly frustrated
>"Why?"
>Again he chuckled
>"Why do bees fetch nectar? Why do trolls hurt feelings on 4chan? Why do bears (beep) in the woods? A higher sense of purpose drives our instincts so as to expand our euphoria into the stars and beyond to the other multiverses and become more than simple monkey men. Our satyr children would carry on the vast knowledge of humanity with the superior genetics of pony kind."
>The camera shook a bit and you swore you heard the camera man laughing softly
>"...okay thanks."
>The faggot tipped his hat again and thanked him for the chance to be on television before another shorter four eyed sperg stepped in to take his place
>Behind him a neat and orderly line appeared to have formed
>The camera cut back to Rick shaking his head
>"From what i could gather after talking with police was that they were searching for a cell phone they said they had been tracking all the way from Anonsville. Somehow, and we still don't know how, that cell phone managed to find its way under the bridge and all the...people, following it stopped to search for it. Now police aren't sure whether they should press charges or not, that would depend on the owner of the cell phone, for stalking or perhaps other premeditated actions. What we do know is that right before the flood waters hit the majority of them managed to climb up the embankment to avoid being washed away. A few though have gone missing and dispatchers are already looking downriver for any signs of survivors."
>Rick didn't want to look at the camera when he said that, but he did perk up after reading his transcript
>"Now because of the scale of this flood they said they aren't holding out much hope for survivors and said it might just be a recovery mission at this point. Live from the scene, this is Rick Astley reporting."
>The shot went back to the studio where Angelina seemed to be suppressing her laughter
>Mark took over
>"Rick while we still have you? I couldn't help but notice there were a few others, um, in line i suppose? What did they have to say?
>Rick was shown grudgingly putting his earpiece back in
>"After a while all i could understand anymore was that they were looking for their Y-foos."
>"Anything else interesting?"
>Rick shook his head
>"That's about it. They just kept repeating how plebeian i was for asking so many questions."
>Mark now seemed to be restraining himself
>"Well...thank you Rick. We appreciate all your hard work, and the many many hours of field work you put in and I'll be sure to talk to the station manager about giving you a promotion and a raise for your all your hard work."
>Rick scowled slightly and nodded his head repeatedly
>Mark covered his mouth for an instant before quipping
>"We'll be back after this."
 
>"Were back!"
>Rarity announced herself as she and Fluttershy entered the room
>"Oof, those stairs are a nightmare, and you say you climb them every day Anonymous?"
"Yes."
>"My such robust exercise, of course it's probably worse when you're loaded to the brim with inspiration?!"
>Rarity exhibited all the paper bags wrapped around her arms
>Fluttershy just quietly unloaded the silk with a quiet smile
>"Oh, I can't wait to try on whatever dress you dream up Rarity."
>"I assure you Fluttershy they'll be marvelous. Now what constitutes as magical in your world anonymous?"
>You pause your chewing for a second
"Uhh, pretty much all the feely, froo froo crap you deal with on a daily basis."
>"I see. Could you tell me then, how much of this, um, froo froo crap, is acceptable in your world? I don't want to overstep my boundaries seeing as how, well no offense darling, but you don't seem to have magic in your realm."
"Ouch, pull that icy dagger out of my heart will ya?"
>"Rarity how could you?"
>Rarity was about to go on an apologetic rant before you stopped her
"Hey, hold on. I was joking. Listen in my 'realm' we have what we call witches and wizards. I think they made a few movies about them back in the day, then there's Harry Pothead. You could probably watch all of them over the internet."
>Pointing at the console you take a sip of your coffee
>Which magically appeared there out of nowhere
>You stare at it astounded
>"Is the coffee okay anon? Did i add the right amount of sugar?"
>It was black
>"Cream please."
>Twilight diligently obeyed
"We can watch some movies after school together. It'll be fun."
>"I could think of something else that would be more fun."
>Rainbow Dash came lumbering out of the bedroom
>She didn't look all too happy to see you
"Uh, hey. Sleepy head?"
>Rainbow sneered slightly in your direction before yanking the control out of your hand and plopping down on your unmade sofa-bed
>The room suddenly got quiet as she flicked through the channels
>You made the excuse to look at your watch
"Hey, look what time it is, we better get going. School awaits, r-right Twilight?"
>"I'm not going."
>Everyone looked at Rainbow concernedly
>This time it was Rarity who stopped you from speaking
>"Anon, would it be terribly inconvenient for us to miss a day at your school? Two even?"
>Asking why, Rarity explained that she needed time to study your definition of 'magic' and even get used to the new measurements required for humans
>"And on top of that i just need time to work dear."
>You take the time to process all this new information in your head
>Another sip of deliciously creamy coffee helps make up your mind
"Alright then, i guess since you aren't technically enrolled in my school, it would be fine for you to miss a day or two. Hell they might not even know your absent."
>The girls lit up with anticipation
>Except Rainbow, she just stared at Mr.Rogers
"But you have to promise me one thing. None of you leave this apartment, not even to get the mail. Make sure to lock the door after I'm gone and for God's sake don't open it for anyone. You see that thing on the wall? It's my phone, if it rings don't answer it. I'm not expecting any calls, and anyone who does is up to no good."
>You still didn't feel right leaving the girls behind without any protection
>If any trouble came your way you wanted them to be safe
>You spot the bat lost in the corner as Gilda comes walking out of the bathroom
"Gilda, perfect. Here take this."
>You hand a confused catbird human your Louisville slugger
>"What the hell do i want this for?"
"To hit me over the head."
>Gilda gives you a blank stare
"I'm kidding! Kidding. I just need someone who isn't afraid to use it if you're all going to stay here. This neighborhood isn't exactly the best."
>Gilda shoves it back into your hands
>"Why don't you take it then?"
"Because I'm going to school."
>You hand it back, but she doesn't take it
"Come on i really need to go. I only have a few months ahead of me before I'm out and like i said, if you're gonna stay, may as well-"
>"I'm not staying here you dweeb!"
"You're not?"
>"No way. I'm going back to settle my score with that pushy librarian. Hey, i may need this after all."
>Gilda takes the bat from you and you immediately try to wrestle it back
"No, no dice!"
>She lets go and sends you flying back into your chair nearly bonking yourself
>"Relax dork."
>Gilda smiles at her own amusement and leans close to you
>"I was just joking."
>Gilda flicks your nose which makes you a little irritated
>Rainbow seemed to notice
"Whatever. Applejack!"
>"Huh."
>You toss the bat at her with a quick 'catch'
>"What do ah want this fer?"
"Home defense. You're staying in today."
>"Oh is that so? *Yawn* Guess you won't mind if i hit the hay again."
>Applejack dangles the bat behind her as she walks away into the background
>"So are we going or not? This place is boring."
"Just let me get my keys."
>With Twilight cooking, Rarity and Fluttershy sewing, Pinkie missing, and Rainbow being Rainbow, you figured she just didn't want to be left alone with them
>Wait back up a bit
"Where's Pinkie Pie?"
>Applejack calls from your darkened bedroom
>"She's in here with me!"
>"Hnng, Applejack stop, that tickles."
>DONG! DONG! DONG!
>No! You were leaving now
>Besides what would Rainbow Dash think?
>The thought makes you a little uneasy
>It looked like Gilda wasn't the only one she wasn't on speaking terms with
"Let's get a move on."
>As the two of you leave you swear you hear a small cracking sound from somewhere to your right
>Maybe the rats were in the wall again
 
>The drive to school was quick and quiet
>Except for that one time Gilda called out a red light when you were distracted by a fedora floating in the wind
>It was scary how close it came to you, but you just brushed it off and kept going
>Remember Trevor? Of course you do
>That fucker showed up for school today too
>"OHMIGOSH! THERE YOU ARE ANON! HELLO FRIEND!"
>That son of a bitch was on the other side of the cafeteria
>You facepalm as he works his way through the crowd of perturbed students
>Half of which tried to trip him along the way
>The dozen or so keychains hanging from his pikachu backpack ringing loudly over every fall
>What was even more pathetic was Trevor's constant apologies which consisted of him quickly bowing to everyone
>"Comenasai, Senpai"
>More than one student took a swat at him but none connected as he ran his tiny pale ass across the room
>"Ohio, Anon-Senpai. How are you today?"
"Fine, Trevor. Just fine."
>"Trevor...'
>He lingered on his name as he watched you with expectant eyes
"I'm not calling you a 'kohai'."
>"Awww but why nooooott? You're so cool Senpai, I want to be your kohai so badly"
>You give an exasperated sigh as Gilda starts laughing
>"Go on Anon, let him be your Co-hi. [spoiler] faggot [/spoiler]
>You turn to give her a cold look before Trevor pipes up again
>"Who's this Senpai? Is she your girlfriend, oh i knew you'd get one. You're so awesome*"
>"You wanna run that by me again, Twerp?"
>Gilda rushed forward but Trevor was quick to hide behind you
>"Comenasai, comenasai! I didn't mean it! Honest! I just wanted to make Anon feel good!"
>Several rowdy teenagers laughed audibly at the dirty implications
>Goddamnit Trevor
"Will you get off me?"
>You shake Trevor loose and he jingled again, like a fucking elf
>"Comenasai Senpai, a thousand pardons to both of you. I-I-I was just joking!"
>Gilda leaned close to you
>Her breath was hot on your neck
>"What hell's wrong with him?"
"Later. Trevor, quit apologizing already."
>"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry for over-apologizing Senpai. Please forgive me!"
>Trevor bent at his waist with dramatic speed
>One passing student took the opportunity to kick him square in the ass launching him forward at you
>You catch him before he headbutts you and he starts rubbing his ass
>Sympathizing with the poor bastard you decide to reproach his attacker
"C'mon dude, he's like twelve."
>The guy smiled and shook his head as he walked out
>"Is that guy gonna be a problem?"
>Gilda cracked her knuckles
"Nah, he's a cool guy, sometimes."
>He did score you some bootleg porno- I mean, Anatomically Correct Anthropological...okay it was porn
>"Jeez, the two of you are like the school's punching bags aren't ya?"
"No"
>"Yes"
...
"Trevor, shut the fuck up."
>"Well, the kid's stupid. But at least he's honest. Not like other people i know."
>Gilda shoots you a look
"I am literally the only other person you know."
>She sighed and rolled her eyes
>"So are we doing this school thing or not?"
>First bells were about to ring
"Alright fine. But please just try to stay close and not get lost."
>Gilda opened the door to leave
>"I was planning on doing that anyway. You two are so pathetic you need someone to keep an eye on you."
>"Like a bodyguard?"
>Trevor's face lit up
>"Ha! Sure kid. A bodyguard."
>Trevor leapt happily out of your arms and out the door
>There was a pause between you two
>"Well?"
"Well, what?"
>"I'm not your stupid maid anon! I'm not going to hold this door open all day!"
"Oh, yeah. Thanks. Uh, listen about that bodyguard thing?"
>Gilda grabbed hold of your collar
>"Keep your mouth shut dweeb. I'm only doing this cause i need you."
>"Huh?"
>"To go back home idiot, now shut up and get moving!"
>Gilda shoves you through the door and makes her way to the stairs
>Trevor shows up behind you, his mouth in an opened 'oh' as the pieces started falling together in his tiny weeb head
>You give him a little smack to bring him back to reality
"Don't you say it."
>Trevor's face changed from confusion and irritation to one of mischief and delight
>"Hai, Senpai. Should we follow her?"
>Another sigh of contempt
"Yosh."
 
>You followed Gilda for two flights and a walk down three different hallways before you stopped
>Did she even know where she was going?
>You asked yourself as you watched her disappear around the corner
>"Senpai, where is she going?"
>The library was in the opposite direction so she couldn't be after revenge
"Shit if i know. Oh, while we're wasting time here give me your cell phone. I just want to make a call real quick."
>Trevor obediently fumbles his phone over to you
>Trevor had one of those flip phones, the poor little faggot hadn't caught up with the times yet
>"Do you like it? It's the same model as Ichigo's in Bleach! At least it looks like it."
>You nod absent mindedly as you called your landline
>"It cost my mom like 600 dollars..."
>You ignored Trevor and his ramblings as the dial tone started
---
>Gilda meanwhile disappears around the corner
>She was going to find this portal back to Equestria one way or another
>Now where the hell was broom closet?
>Gilda looked around the empty hall confident she had retraced her steps exactly
>But this couldn't be it
>This couldn't be the place she pulled the ape of that dweeb
>Gilda gritted her teeth and kept walking until she was sure it was a dead end
>"Damn it."
>She hissed and kicked an invisible can
>Behind her a bathroom door creaked open
>"Omg Whitney you are such a slut!"
>"I don't care!"
>Five cheerleaders stepped out in a shrill of laughter that pierced her ears
>"Grr. Will you bitches keep quiet!? I'm trying to think!"
>The girls stopped and stared at her in wry shock and amusement
>Their leader took the initiative
>"Uh? Squeeze me?"
>"You heard me you tone deaf birdbrain."
>The irony was not lost on her
>The leader shared a look with her galpals before they all shrieked with laughter again
>It was like a Dark Knight Joker audition
>"Good one, maybe next time you should go even grittier!"
>"Yeah, like call Heather a poopyhead, that might hurt!"
>"Yeah, what are you? Stuck in preschool, Gawd! What a retard!"
>The girls just kept laughing
>Gilda's last nerve had been plucked
>She balled up her fist and was ready to go when...
>"Don't be stupid Lisa, she only calls guys poopyheads when she likes them!"
>"Yeah, like, if that's the best you can come up with then you don't stand a chance against us. Whore."
>Heather propped her hands up on her hips and gave her a smug lipstick smear smile
>Her clique followed suit and it was on
>"Maybe, next time comb your hair, and don't forget to dye it too Grandma."
>"Like nice one Heather, i bet her tits sag all the way down to the floor."
>Gilda lifted her fist to them
>"Oh, yeah keep it up. You're just asking for a trip to the dentist."
>"You mean like you do every time your dentures fall out you aging dyke?"
>"Maybe if you chewed your tapioca like you did your rugs, that wouldn't happen."
>Gilda didn't get it, and they saw it
>"Ermahgerd! You don't even get it do you!"
>"I-I get it!"
>2nd mistake Gilda
>"Like total OMG!"
>"Even i didn't think you could be this sheltered, or are you just stupid?"
>"No way, she just hasn't gotten any because of her crow's feet. Guys take one look at her, turn 360 degrees, and walk away!"
>"Brittany, that's like, not even mathematically possible."
>"Yeah, but it's like, you know, stupid. Like her, she probably thought i was right! Haha!"
>The girls agreed but didn't join in her laughter
>"Well, well. Stupid and Ugly. You're the whole package aren't you? Birdbrain?"
>The girls shrieked again and Gilda had had enough
>Her nails dug hard into her palm
>This was it, this was the day these bitches were gonna die
>Gilda took two steps forward and relished the sudden quiet that grew around her as their faces contorted from conceited pleasure to frightened shock
>Enter Trevor
 
>The girls didn't answer
>Good, they listened to you
>Otherwise they would've had to hear you get your ass beat by Biff again
>He had shown up behind you just prior to calling them
>"There you are pussy."
>Trevor trembled at the sound of his voice and shot off like a cannon
>'Forget about me, yeah. Save yourself.'
"Let's not do this now."
>"Oh, we're doing it now cocksucker!"
>Biff took a swing at you
>Unfortunately for him you had gotten a good night's sleep this time
>You dodged his punch and sidestepped him on the second
>Swinging his arm in a wide arc Biff's hand manages to catch you upside your head
>Thrown off balance you stumble to the floor
>As you struggle to stand back up Biff comes at you and raises his leg
>You roll out of the way before his football star kick sends you into a coma
>Alright enough was enough
>Time to bring the tried and true kick to the balls back into action
>Without standing you extend your leg and give him your heel
>CONTACT! [spoiler] What a terrible movie [/spoiler]
>Rrrright in the...stomach
>Holyshitdudewhatdidyoudo.png
>How could you have missed!
>It didn't matter 'cause Biff took your kick and caught it too
>Afraid he'd twist your ankle or worse you begin to struggle
>Biff holds on however and yanks your ass towards him
>Your legs entwine his free foot
>Before you could fear for your balls's safety Biff reaches down and clamps his hand around your neck
>Lifting you off the ground one handed he begins to choke the life out of you
>You had to think, but you couldn't
>Panic craps all over your brain and all you can think about is trying to pry yourself loose from his grasp
>Biff had left himself wide open for a second attack and yet you could not realize it
>You were kicking your legs to find the ground rather than attack
>A flash of white came into view just as Biff loosened his grip
>Gilda had rounded the corner at full speed when she heard and laid a solid donkey punch right into the back of his skull
>You swore to God it was like something out of a Jet Li movie
>The force of it managed to knock him off his feet and send him flying forwards
>On top of you
>The two of you were sent sprawling several feet across Scruffy's freshly buffed linoleum floor
>Biff's arm was still caught around your shoulder but didn't do much
>One look into his eyes and you could tell he was fighting a concussion
 
>You toss his arm off you and pull your leg out from under him
>Biff just kept drooling and moaning
>Sitting up you dust yourself off
>A hand came into view
>Looking up you find yourself staring into Gilda's piercing amber eyes
>You feel your cheeks burning
>Before you can react Gilda reaches down and picks you up by your shirt
>"W-what the hell were you thinking ya idiot!?"
"Huh? Ow! Your nails!"
>"Answer the question!"
>You try to fruitlessly to pry yourself free
>Eventually Gilda gets tired of your squirming and lets go
>"Well?"
"Well, what?"
>"What do you mean what? You thought you could take this jerk on yourself?"
"Oh, that, yeah. Uh, nothing i couldn't handle."
>You say as you rub your sore neck
>"Sure as hell didn't look like it greenbean."
>Gilda pokes you in the chest
>"Next time you think about playing macho, why don't you come find me first? I'll show a real fight."
>Gilda lingered her gaze on you before huffing and brushing past you
>You brush the front of your shirt to get rid of the wrinkles
>Not like you ironed your clothes ever
>Trevor walks up to you
>"S-senpai a-a-are you alright? I was so scared."
"I'm fine Trevor. Did you run to go get her?"
>You look over your shoulder as Gilda walks down yet another random hallway spotchecking the doors
>"Anon-Senpai, are you even listening?"
>You turn back to him
"What?"
>"I was asking if you believed in love at first sight."
"No...not adamantly."
>You felt your cheeks flushing again
"Uh, why don't you go and help her out. Or somethi-"
>"Hi Senpai!"
>Trevor took off after her
>He ran like the Naruto
>You shook your head and stare at Biff starting to stir
>"Like OMG"
>You look up to find a gaggle of cheerleaders looking at you, mouths open
>"Are you for reals?"
>"Hashtag craziness. Anon what did you do?"
"Huh?"
>You look back at Biff, he was coming back around, albeit slowly
"Oh. OH! Oh, no no no no no."
>You give them the ol' razzle dazzle and start shaking your head while giving them jazz hands
>The leader scoffed
>"Omg, anon. You're like a secret badass aren't you?"
>What?
>"Oh my God, Biff totally had it coming."
>"I know right? He kept grabbing my ass and saying i was his girlfriend."
>"Ugh, what a perv. Just cause he's captain of the football team he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Nice job Anon."
>"Yeah, thanks anon. You're a pal!"
>The cheerleaders wink and wave good bye at you as they leave
>How do you like that?
>"I...am...going to...kick your...aaaassssss..."
>You look down at the cheerleader groping pervert football captain asshole
>He was already on all fours and starting to crawl towards you
>Now you didn't believe in kicking a guy while he's down, but then again he did try to kill you twice this week.
---
 
>Biology class was a hoot
>One of the girls already warned the teacher she'd throw up and delivered when the dissection began
>You just poked the frog's stomach until the scalpel pierced through it and then stabbed it some more
>Gilda just watched you the whole time
"In case one of us wants to become a doctor."
>You explained
>Gilda rolled her eyes and continued to waste the period scribbling useless notes
>You never looked at them
>speaking of things you never looked at, those pictures were still sitting on your disarranged living room furniture
>BBrriing!
>Gilda was first to get up, leaving you to clean up the station by yourself
>She handed in the paper to a half complacent teacher behind her desk and walked out the door without a second glance
>You hurried in an effort to catch Gilda before she laid out another jock
>The doors opened outside and the usual cacophony of student murmuring, walking, and horseplay could be heard
>There seemed to be more laughter than usual though
>Stepping out into the hall you ready yourself for the search when a shadow falls on you
>"Anon..."
>You're surprised to witness Gilda standing idly behind you
"Oh, hey. You actually waited for me."
>"I didn't wait for you."
"Oh, but-"
>"Let's go."
"Okay, history is next. It's on the-"
>"No."
>She spoke in a low husky tone
 
"No?"
>No. Let's go out."
"Out? Out where?
>"You tell me."
"What do you mean? You're the one telling me you want to leave. You decide"
>"No, you're the one deciding."
"You want me to tell you where to go? Or am i supposed to guess?"
>"Youre not telling me anything. In fact you're asking."
>She pokes you in the chest to get the point across
>"So ask me already!"
"Ask what? Where to go."
>"Do i have to spell it out for you?"
"Uh...?"
>"Anon. Ask. Me. Out."
>She scowls even more as you hear laughter again
"You, um...you, you mean like...a date?"
>Reeling a bit you prepare for an assault
>Nothing
"You...need me to...ask you out?"
>A kid or two stopped to gawk at you
>"J-just do it."
>You try to process this information
"Um, okay, w-wanna...um..."
>"Louder."
"Uh...um...Gilda, would you-"
>She raised her voice
>"Louder!"
"Ahhoookay."
>You clear your throat, still confused
"Phew. Um, ahem, Gilda. Can i ask...ah, oof. Do you...um...oooboy...um"
>Gilda was growing impatient
>You clear your throat again
>But your voice cracks next
>"Gildaah! Whoa, uh...sorry 'bout that...uh..."
>She couldn't take it anymore
>"Damn it Anon!"
"Okay, okay. Gilda. How would you liii-hiiike...crap."
>She exploded
>"GODDAMNIT ANON! WILL YOU JUST GROW A SACK AND ASK ME OUT ALREADY!"
>You failed to notice the growing crowd
>They too seemed as shocked as you
>Both of you only noticed too late as they started pointing and chuckling
>Again the shrieking laughter could be heard
>You peered out behind her and found the same cheerleaders from earlier
>Looking back at Gilda you noticed her cheeks rosing
>She grit her teeth
>"Forget it. Dweeb."
>Gilda turned to walk away but you caught her hand
>"Gilda. Wait!"
>She turned back more surprised than you've ever seen her
>Eyes wide, and watery
>Her mouth just slightly opened
>She even seemed a bit pinker
"Gilda, I..."
 
>You swallow hard before another 'uh' made its appearance
>"Yeah! Come on Anon!"
>"You can do it!"
>"Just ask her to the dance!"
>You looked over at your steadily growing audience
>"Quit being a pussy!"
>"Yeah Anon! You the man!"
>Within moments, both boys and girls were cheering you on to ask her out and eventually chanting your name
>"ANON!"
>"ANON!"
>"ANON!"
>You gulped hard as she looked at you half expectantly
>Jeremiah 1:17
"Gilda. Would you like to go to the Dance with me this Friday!"
>Silence
>...
>...
>kill me now please
>Gilda moved her lips
>She looked away and pulled her hand free, folding her arms
>[spoiler]"Hump, about time."[/spoiler]
>...
>"So, was that a yes?"
>A feminine voice asked
>Gilda shouted back
>"Yes, damn it!"
>The crowd erupted in applause
>The blacks came forward to slap your back and congratulate
>"That's my nigga Anon! HA HA!"
>The whites piggy backed on the other blacks who started rapping your ballad
>Others just laughed, shook their heads and walked away with a smile
>The girls obviously gushed
>The ones brave enough to confront Gilda gave her tips on what to wear, how to dress, and where to shop for a gown
>"Will you!? Hey! Shut up!"
>"Oh my God she's so embarassed!"
>You heard slow clapping coming from the classroom and found the teacher cheering you on as well
>That done it
>You work your way over to Gilda
>An effort on your part
>And grab her hand
"Hey! Do you wanna go? Like right now?"
>Gilda was exasperated
>"You have no idea."
>"OHMIGOSH! They're going out right now!"
>The grills seared the words into your brain
>A deep voice rang out behind you
>"I'll tell the others to mark you down as absent!"
>You couldn't take it anymore and yanked her free from the crowd
>They continued to cheer as you ran out the building
 
 
>Outside the two of you stop to catch your breath behind a brick wall
>"You mind telling me what the hell was that?"
>You perk up
"M-me? You're the one asking for a date!"
>Gilda recoils at your accusation
"What's the deal? You just came out of the blue with that shit."
>You relax a bit and back off, waiting for her answer
>Gilda looked down, a hard blush fighting to break through
>'Alright, she's not talking. Guess I can drop-'
>"...it was those girls..."
"Eh?"
>Gilda crossed her arms looking away
>"Those damn cheerleaders, all peppy, and happy, and pretty..."
"Oh yeah i think i saw them..."
>"bragging about their perfect grades, and bodies..."
"Y'know i was wondering what 'they' were laughing at..."
>"...and boyfriends..."
"What was that?"
>"Nothing! Shut up you dweeb! This is all your fault!"
"My fault?!"
>"That's right, you led me down the wrong hallway!"
"How could i have led you down the wrong hallway!? YOU got ahead of me!"
>Gilda balled her fist at you but dropped it almost instantly
>"Urgh. Forget it."
>Gilda shirked you off and walked away
>You breathe a sigh of relief
"Hey, wait, where you going?"
>"What do you care?"
>She continued to walk away
"Well i do care. I asked you out didn't I?"
>Gilda wheeled around
>"W-what the hell are you talking about? That was just for show!"
>You shrugged
"Regardless, i don't think either of us wants to go back in there."
>You point with your thumb to the school
>The thunderous cacophony had subsided with the bell
"So we may as well catch a movie. Don't you think?"
>Gilda fell quiet
 
>The theater was deserted
>Which meant no lines at the concession stands
>Unfortunately Gilda took that to mean it was an all you can eat
>'Cheapskate' she called you, for buying cheap tickets
>Not like you had a choice with the early bird special
>But she wanted to teach you how to rightfully spend your money
>You ended up dropping a hefty sum on snacks and drinks and barely finished half of them
>The only reason you ran out was because Gilda kept pitching them at the screen whenever the hero did something stupid like open a door
>"Oh, come you retard! You know damn well who's there!"
>Thank God the theater was deserted
>Breathing a sigh as you pull up to the arcade you try your best to make eye contact
"Please don't get us kicked out of here too."
>"What's this place?"
"It's an arcade, you know what that is right?"
>She snorted
>"Shyeah! 'Course i do. You think i wouldn't know an arcade when i see one?"
"But you just as-"
>"You better not cheap out on me again dweeb."
"Hey I bought out half the shop because of you!"
>"Pfft. Just half?"
>What was her deal?
"Let's just go."
>Inside the windows of course were tinted to block out natural light and create the illusion of night
>Black lights illuminated the darkness with an eerily pleasant neon blue glow
>Countless television screens flashed their demos softly against bare walls
>The cash machines however had a single 40w bulb hanging over it
>You point them out to Gilda
"We're going to need to get change."
>You check the time on your phone, no wait, Trevor's phone
>Whoops, but it was just a quarter past noon
"Lots of it."
>"What!?"
>You could barely hear her over the music
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJXf-rn-iKc
>Dragging her over there you pull out a 50 and shove it into the receiver
>You should've thought this through
>200 quarters were about to spill out and you had no way to collect them
>In a desperate pitch to find a container of some kind you make the mistake of leaving Gilda alone
"Stay here!"
>You jog back to the main corridor of arcades in search of the snack bar
>No more than 30 seconds you come back with a large cup to find her missing
>Fuck
>Lucky for you though she has a mouth as loud as her hair at this point
 
>Applejack finished pinning the last of the bedsheets to the ceiling
>"All finished here. Ya really sure you need your own private workspace Rarity?"
>The sheets creatd a makeshift wall separating the "living room" from the rest of the apartment
>"Well of course darling, an artiste needs a place free from all distractions and..."
>Rarity paused as she looked at Rainbow Dash
>"...and loud noises in order for her to work properly."
>Rainbow had the TV on max volume as she watched an X-games advert
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otMZkKRFkrA
>She still had a tight grip on the controller
>"Rainbow Dash, darling, may i be so bold as to ask you nicely, please, do be a dear and turn down that racket. Please, thank you. PLEASE."
>Rainbow didn't respond
>"Um, Rarity? I don't think this is quite right."
>Fluttershy peeked out from behind the curtain
>"What isn't right?"
>She stepped out to show her the work in progress
>Fluttershy had a great many pieces pinned to her bodice
>It was a strapless brown top whose cleavage was cut down the middle
>It slid down considerably when she shrugged at Rarity exposing her pink areolas to the world
>A small draft passed through the apartment causing her nipples to harden on the spot
>"Oh, I don't know about this Rarity. How will i keep warm?"
>Rarity took one last shot at Rainbow Dash before motioning to AJ with her eyes
>Nodding in agreement Applejack went to deal with her
>"Sorry darling that dress is meant for Gilda, and i still have a lot of work left on it."
>Applejack sat on the couch
>"So what are we watchin'? Sports or boys?"
>Rainbow gritted her teeth
>"Ya know, snowboarding seems like an awful lot of fun on two legs, course ahm still particular to those spaghetti's we saw the other day."
>Standing up Dash tossed the controller at AJ
>"Watch whatever you want."
>She went to the bathroom
>"Hmm. What's gotten into that girl?"
>Regardless Aj tried to change the channel when she noticed the cracks on the plastic casing
 
>Gilda's hair is fluorescent blue under the cheap UV lights hanging from the ceiling
>She's surrounded by four bad dudes all dressed in black
>Heavy boots, torn leather pants, chains, spiked and dyed hair
>The whole package
>They seemed at least a bit cringy if it weren't for the tattoos running down their arms
>None of them are wearing freakish makeup either so they probably weren't emo
>You had to play your next move carefully
>"YEAH, TOTALLY! I got nothing going on!"
>Gilda followed the scrappy little crew out a side door
"H-Hey!"
>You shove the quarters into your soda cup and run after them dropping at least a fistful of quarters along the way
>Stopping short of the door you realize this was the fire exit but the bell wasn't ringing as it said on the door
>Fire hazard much?
>Whatever, you push past the door and step into the blinding light outside
>The door lead to a closed off alleyway complete with a barbed wire fence to your left
>Shading your eyes you try to look around for Gilda before a fist collides with your face
>You manage to keep your cup upright the entire time you're falling
>Hitting the asphalt you feel a familiar warm sensation in your mouth
>Behind you your assailant speaks
>"Hey check it out. He didn't spill his drink. Ha!"
"Ngh-practice."
>You gasp out as you turn on your back
>The apparent leader stood over you, his fists balled up in leather gloves
>"What's your problem? You a narc?"
>"I hate narcs."
>The bigger one behind him cracked his knuckles
>Another skinny fucker with matted green hair sticking out from under a skullcap stood next to Gilda
>The last guy was off taking a piss next to a dumpster
>Gilda crossed her arms and looked down her nose at you
>"Hey Ricky, looks like you should've held back. You're going to make him cry."
>"Ricky" bent over to look at you
>"He'll be fine. Won't you slugger?"
>He 'caught you in the dark' as he called you 'slugger'
>Noticing the shiny in your cup he reached over and yanked it out of your hand
>"Whoa, buddy! Did you get an advance on your allowance?"
>He started sifting through the quarters
>You kept quiet and spat out a glob of blood
>He smiled at you
>"Sorry about your mouth. Didn't meant to hit you that hard. You'll be okay, right buddy?"
>He patted your leg and stood back up
>"Ugh, he's going to be fine."
>Gilda rolled her eyes
>"Can we just go now?"
"Go? Go where?"
>Ricky handed the cup over to his larger friend
>"Hey, relax buddy. We're just going to show her around."
>You didn't like the look in his eyes when he said that
>Standing up you try to walk past him only to be sucker punched again harder than before
>The wind gets knocked out of you and you kneel back down clutching your stomach
>You wince and gasp trying to get air in your lungs
>"HEY!"
>Gilda's voice rings out louder than the music inside
>"Leave that loser alone already! He's had enough."
>"Why are you sticking up for him? He doesn't look like he's your brother or anything."
>You hear her walking over only to stop in front of you
>"I don't like him either, but I'm stuck with him for now so lay off."
>Ricky sighs, you look up as he opens his mouth
>"Looks like today's your lucky day champ. Now you get on home now alright? I'm sure mommy's very worried about you."
>He laughs with the others, including the piss demon who is just now joining them as they walk away
>You stare after them
>Gilda crouches next to you
>"Listen up dweeb, I'm going to hang out with my cool new friends. If things go right I won't have to sleep on your crummy excuse for a couch either. So just shut up and stay out of the way."
>Before she can get up you forcefully grab her forearm
"G-Gilda..."
>"You better make this quick dweeb."
"Don't...smoke whatever...they give you."
>Gilda genuinely looked shocked
>Ahead of you two the 'cool' kids are shouting at her to hurry up
>"I'm outta here."
"Don't trust them...just don't..."
>Gilda looked back one more time
>"You better be here when i get back."
 
>Joining up with her new crew Gilda apologizes for keeping them waiting
>"That's okay Gills. So what's your poison?"
>Gilda was caught off guard
>Not knowing what to say she just shrugged
>"You don't know? That's cool, me either. We'll hit up the liquor store and find something anyway. Then maybe we'll talk to Ja-Kwan for a little sumthin-sumthin."
>He puts his thumb and forefinger to his mouth implying some green
>"Ha, yeah. Right."
>Pisspants spoke up from under a lock of greasy blonde hair
>"So who was that kid?"
>Gilda looked away
>"Just some guy I'm staying with."
>"Oh, i get it. Totally. Ricky, man, you shouldn't have been so harsh on the little dude. Can't you see he is a good little samaritan dude?"
>Ricky scoffed
>"Like i care?"
>Gilda twisted her lip a bit
>"You could've at least given him a chance."
>He cackled this time
>"Are you kidding? How else am i gonna win a fight?"
 
>Your pride hurt worse than your face
>Gilda's kick hurt worse than your face
>You thought about that as you rolled an ice cube around in your mouth
>After the little tiff you had with that punk you felt you could cool down playing a bit of solo pool
>The quarters you dropped on your way out fed the table
>You were practically alone in the large arcade, aside from a few nolives losing themselves in the fighting games
near the back there were no other patrons
>The bartender let you in on the delinquents that frequented the establishment
>Apparently they always had just enough money to entertain themselves, and only behaved well enough to keep from
being kicked out
>You wince as the ice stings the inside of your fat lip
>Feeling you had enough you bite down on the ice and chew it up
>More where that came from
>Because you were underage you could only buy soda at the bar
>What the bartender added after he poured it was a different story
>You take a sip from the cup feeling the shot of diluted whiskey take the edge off
>Your pride hurt worse than your face
 
>Meanwhile on the other side of town
>Like in the boonies
>Where the sperglords drowned in an incident that totally wasn't your fault
>People gathered around a makeshift memorial to remember their lost and missing
>A small crowd formed from the cohesive community just across the bridge offering love and support for one another
>Some were friends coming back from work
>Others were on a day trip with the family
>Still others had important business they needed to attend to right away
>All of whom left their families behind for the promise of a better tomorrow
>And then there were 'The Others'
>Banding together with low drawn fedoras and black leather trench coats drawn tight in memoriam the 'Supreme
Gentleman' of distinguished honor stand quietly over the vigil
>Literally
>They found a hill overlooking the bridge and somehow managed to carry their greasy manes up the hill and watch
over the crowd like a flock of obese vultures
>Many found the scene unsettling though overlooked it in lieu of the circumstances
>The rotund masses slowly shifted amongst themselves not knowing what to say
>Some of the most autistic few just glared into the distance
>Finally one of the wads produced a laptop from his undersized Officially Licensed Hasbro Rainbow Dash backpack
>He grunted as he typed in his password and opened up iTunes media player
>"I may have lost my job at Hot Topic. But it was worth it for this footage."
>The Sperglord expands the image in full 1080p and commands those around him to take a look at the footage
>In the window a full color video begins rolling clearly showing six pastel colored beauties being led astray by
an unenlightened green baldy
>The video continues to play through to the end where 'Chief Snapdragon', as he called himself, gets doubled over
by you
>"This is the prove you all asked me for. This is to show you that i wasn't lying you guys! They're REAL! And they're HERE!"
>His voice carried out over the mourning cries below them, a few of the less disdained even turned an ugly eye to
the unwanted commotion
>Still he continued
>"Our brothers haven't passed away for nothing. They are now one with the Matrix! And they're smiling down on us
like our ancestors! We have to get this fucking normie and take back our waifus!"
>There was a gurgle of agreement and euphoria as he finished
>"We KNOW where he lives, we even know what SCHOOL he goes to. My gent's all we have to do now is wait for the proper time to strike!"
>He pumped his fat fist into the air
>But another challenged him
>"Why don't we go now!? If we indeed know where this traitorous normie live, why not strike while the iron is hot? Everyone know the finest katanas are made from the hottest fires of the underworld!"
>Chief Snapdragon shook his three magnificent chins
>"No friend. You do not understand. For you see, at this Anon's school there is to be a ball most magical in the coming days. On the eve of the day known as Friday to be exact. Do you not think it would be most prudent for us to rescue them on this night?"
>Another hambeast broke in
>"He speaks the truth! Ponder on it for a bit shall we not? Would not our pony girl of refined tastes not wish to doll up the girls for high school ball? Same as she did in Equestria Girls, and Rainbow Rocks?"
>There was a murmur of discussion and even a few insults thrown in for good measure
>In the end however all agreed that would be the best course of action
>"Very well my fellow gentleman, go home to your waifu dakimakuras and meditate on the matter. For this Friday, we fight!"
>"Three cheers for the Captain!"
>"HUZZAH!"
>"HUZZAH!"
>"HUZZAH!"
>A cop suddenly appeared beside them
>"Listen fellas, you don't need to go home, but you sure as hell need to get out of here."
>"REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
>And with that the meeting of the League of Supreme Gentlemen dispersed for the evening
 
---
 
>Back in the city center Gilda and her new crew were heading to Bill n Ted's tattoo shop
>Ricky led the way
>"This is where my cousin Bill works, they can set us up with some tats. You should get one too baby, you'd look
good with some ink on ya."
>Ricky winks at Gilda who smirks back
>"As long as it's on the house."
>Ricky scoffs as he pushes past the door
>Stepping inside Gilda was greeted by the smell of smoke and mildew
>A light fog enveloped the front room that served as the lobby
>A woman was bent over the counter wearing a leather vest and chewing gum
>Her lips were painted black as well as her eyes, her hair was shaved on both sides and tied up in a short
fauxhawk, also dyed a bright pink
>Contacts gave her a steely eyed look as she stared plainly at the newest arrivals
>Her gaze lingered on Gilda as she blew a bubble
>Ricky smiled wide as he walked up to the counter
>"Hey there cuz, how's the day goin'?"
>Gilda seemed confused
>"Who's the girl, Richard?"
>His friends chuckled behind him
>"Hey, shut up! And you.."
>He said as he turned back to his cousin
>"call me Ricky. Got it? It's Ricky from now on."
>Bill straightened up, she was a good deal taller than him
>Enough to be able to look down on him at least
>"You haven't answered my question. Is she supposed to be your Lucy? You little punk."
>Ricky got smug suddenly
>"Maybe, with a little luck...and some encouragement of course."
>Bill reached over the counter, caught him in a headlock and began to noogie him
>"So why'd you bring her over here huh? You wanted her to meet the parents?"
>"Ow, fuck! Stop you fucking amazon! Ted! TED GET IN HERE!!!"
>Ricky continued to struggle as a large bald bearded man stepped out from the back room
>Dressed in biker attire he lowered his sunglasses to get a good look at the crowd
>He laughed heartily as he watched Ricky struggle against his cousin
>"Alright Billy, you let that boy go now. He's had enough."
>Loosening her grip Ricky tore himself away as quickly as he could and tried to straighten his hair back out to
its normally untidy nature
>Ted was a large man, large enough to stuff three of the kids in his pants
>He maneuvered his rotund body around the counter and walked up to the group
>"You kids mind telling me why you're not in school?"
>The green haired kid, Scotty, spoke up
>"School sucks man. You know that."
>Beside him the bigger kid, Cam, agreed with him
>Ted looked at Gilda
>"You're new. Why aren't you in school?"
>Gilda remembered back to earlier that afternoon and felt her face warming up
>She looked away
>"Pfft. It's like they said, school is for losers."
>"Well i ain't gonna hound ya none. Didn't even get past 10th grade."
>Ricky came up behind him and laid his arm on Ted's shoulder
>"And now you own your own tattoo shop. Ain't life grand?"
>Ted brushed him off
>"That's cause i worked hard for what i got. I also had a dream of becoming an artist, not just another lazy
punk."
>Ricky laughed it off
>"Yeah, you're one of those proactive type of punks. One of the one's with a job. You know i have a job too."
>Ted looked at him sternly before lifting the corner of his lip in a crude smile
>"You still tryin to rock it huh?"
>"You know it. Now can we get to work on me again? I'm starting to fall behind."
>Ricky lifted up his shirt and showed off the canvas of his body
>Tattoos of demons, screaming skulls, and skeletons riding fiery motorcycles covered his torso and upper arms
>Several of which were only outlined
>Gilda became enchanted at the amount of edge pouring from this one man
>Ricky didn't seem to mind she noticed
>"Wicked huh? The rest of the guys got theirs done too."
>Gilda turned to the others who lifted up various articles of clothing to reveal their commitments
>She smiled earnestly
>"Whoa, that's pretty sick."
>"Right? What about you baby? Ready to get inked?"
>Pulling it back she shrugged in his direction
>"Whatever."
>Ted motioned her forward as Billy nodded in her direction to follow
>"Come on girl. I'll hook you up in the back, away from these creeps."
>Ricky he couldn't help himself from staring at her ass as she walked by
>"You sure i can't have just a peek?"
>Ricky smirked but Ted shoved and scowled at him until his smug smile faded away
>Billy opened the door for her
>"What'd i tell ya? Creeps."
 
>The back was filled with all sorts of gadgets and machines Gilda hadn't seen before
>Ink cartridges, air compressors, needle and air guns, and a laptop playing some tattoo show on NetHuDoo
>In the middle of the room where three empty chairs
>"Just sit down anywhere, you want me to get you a catalog or you already got somethin in mind?"
>Gilda did as she was told but kept looking around the room
>There didn't seem to be a need for a catalogue with all posters of tattoo drawings lining the walls
>"Uh...."
>"Still deciding?"
>"Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess."
>Billy sat in the chair next to her
>"Do you really want a tattoo?"
>"What? Of course i do. Don't ask me stupid questions sister."
>Billy pursed her lips
>"Alright, then tell me. What's a sweet little girl like you doing around someone like Richard?"
>"W-what? Hey i said no questions!"
>"You sweet on him or somethin?"
>Billy blew a bubble the size of her head
>"What are you talking about? No!..And what kind of name is Bill anyway? It sounds like a guy's name!"
>Billy's bubble popped
>"It's short, for Billy-Jean. Look all i'm trying to say is you could do better."
>Gilda crossed her arms and grimaced
>"Come on. Isn't there some other guy you can think of that's better?"
>Again she felt her face starting to burn
>"Just shut up and give me a tattoo like those dragons have."
>"Dragons? What are they some new band i haven't heard about?"
>"No, i meant Dragons."
>"So you want a dragon then?"
>Gilda thought for a second
>"Never mind. Give me a griffon."
 
---
 
>Back in the fortress of Solitude a quiet stillness permeated throughout a lonely room dimly lit by a single
screensaver
>Heavy foot thumps fell over the ceiling as the whirr of a cooling engine was momentarily enhanced
>Two minutes later a series of beeps prompted more foot thumps in a hurried fashion
>A quiet murmur cursed the heavens before the door opened and the distended belly of a creature lurched forward
>Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs a large greasy hand blindly clasped the chain for the light
>Three flourescent bulbs formed in a concentric circle lit up at once
>You know the japanese ones, just like the ones in the slice of life animes
>Have you seen Oreimo? Yeah, those
>As they hummed to life they cast their energy saving glow around the room, dispelling the darkness and blue tint
of the computer screen
>As it did the surroundings came to life
>Countless foreign artifacts were arranged across the various shelves and desks set up around the edges of the
basement
>Multiple copies of the same articulated figures were set up in lewd positions
>Several american made toys were also included in the collection
>Sanic and his pals made their pitiful home here
>Posters clung to the walls as well
>Mostly more weeb shit but the collection also included several edgy anarchist posters
>Among these were pictures of Che Gueverra, Adoplh Hitler, and Joseph Stalin hung with their respected flags
draped on crude nails around the cheap cardboard printouts from Kinkos
>On the small bookshelf next to his desktop computer he positioned two bottles of vodka and gin
>Above them were placed several copies of the "Anarchist's Cookbook"
>The fat lummox grinned as he saw his Dashie screensaver greeting him
>She looked straight at him and called him awesome
>It was almost enough to make a grown man cry
>Still he had to have get rid of the it for there was work to be done
>He extended the sausage like fingers of his hand until he hit a key on the keyboard
>Now of all times he needed his comrades
>Placing the plate of hotpockets next to the monitor he hauled his hundred kilo ass onto the leather bound desk
chair
>It squeaked in protest as per usual but he had long since stopped paying attention
>The screen came to life with the same image as the screensaver used as the background
>Dashie was still calling him awesome
>Fatass smiled with tears in his eyes as he opened up Internet Explorer
>He would never dream of cheating on his waifu, but that new mascot IE got sure was cute
>Feeling how greasy his fingers had gotten from poking the hotpockets to make sure they were of an adequate temp.
he gave them a thorough licking before placing them on the mouse
>He dragged the pointer into the address bar and clicked before expertly typing his favorite address
>Reddit.com
>He was going to spend the next couple of hours clacking on the keyboard, typing his story out for others on the
internet to read, and hopefully comment
>Opening a new tab on his browser he accessed his tumblr account and searched for a new batch of pony porn while
his story was left to garner attention in the meantime
>Once he found his favorite anthro artist had drawn new 'clop' of his waifu and spike he dropped his pants and got
to work
>He pulled open a drawer and borught out a bottle of lotion
>He poured a long string of it onto his hand before lowering it under the table
>Biting his lip as he fondled himself he looked at Rainbow Dash's hands stroking spike's hemi-penis
>He dragged it out as long as he could, edging to the point of no return before drawing back and pulling more
lotion
>Again and again he continued his rhythmic pattern until he spotted his hotpockets
>Surely they cooled down enough to be considered safe for human consumption
>He stopped
>He looked at his computer, then his hot pocket
>Rainbow dash was spreading her vagina so much you could see her cervix
>Hot Topic guy continued with a renewed vigor as he slowly reached for the plate
>Pocket in one hand, dick in the other
>The movie American Pie suddenly crossed his mind
>A dribble of saliva dripped down his chin as he eyed the hole he had poked earlier
>The sauce was still warm
---
>After finishing and tossing it he still had one pocket left
>Savoring it as he surfed the net he finally came back to his reddit page
>The story of how he tried desperately to enlighten RD in the mall the other day to her popularity before losing
her to a kidnapper was met with the response he expected
>"Cool story bro."
>"10/10 if troll. 7/10 if copy pasta."
>"Go to ponychan with that shit. I think you're a little too young for this site."
>Chuckling softly he shook his head
>Here he thought he could pass down his knowledge to fellow redditors
>Heck, he'd thought they be honored to follow him
>But alas that was not the case
>So he took the advice and headed to ponychan
>Gulping down the last morsel of his dinner he felt strangely empty
>On arriving at the website he just began tyoing when something caught his eye
>A user by the name of "Thunder Blitzen" was arguing a point in a RD thread
>"It's no wonder those horsefucker at /mlp/ think you're retarded!"
>He paused, and he pondered
>/mlp/?
>Yes, that was the pony board on 4chan
>But he would never dare set foot in that abysmal hell
>No way, no how
>Even for Rainbow Dash
>But then he thought, wouldn't she call him a fraidy cat?
>Wouldn't she admire such bravery?
>His stomach grumbled
>Rubbing his belly he thought about the possibility of 4chan coming to his aid
>He knew they wouldn't
>They rejected ponychan members for the exact reason he loved them
>There was no way those people would aid his efforts in any way
>Unless...he disguised his story as a greentext...and fished the information out of them that way
>The fatass felt his stomach pain him further
>Grunting he pushed off the computer as he looked at the stairs leading up to his kitchen
>Belligerently cursing them he attempted to get up off the chair
>Squeaking its last hurrah the chair snapped its support and he went tumbling down knocking over several items on
his way
>Great, now not only did he have to walk up those stairs he couldn't even rest easy afterwards
>He was at a loss, not wanting to climb the stairs without hope for respite and not wanting to starve to death
>He drew a deep breath as he sighed
>The tangy smell of grease, cheese, and pepperoni filled his nostrils
>Still on the floor he rolled his body over to inspect the source of the scent
>There in the garbage can was the hotpocket from earlier
>He licked his lips at the prospect
>M-Maybe it was still warm...
>But he couldn't possibly eat it
>"Gurgle Gurgle"
>His stomach demanded sustenance
>'Alright, but just this once'
>he thought
>'Just because it was Dashie.'
>The fatass reached into the garbage, past all the tissues, brought it to his mouth, and chewed
 
---
 
>Fluttershy stood outside the bathroom door
>She turned her head and brushed a stand of hair behind her ear
>The girls egged her on quietly
>Slowly she lifted up her hand and rapped softly on the door with her fingertips
>"Rainbow Dash?"
>Her voice was just as quiet, yet it managed to illicit a response
>"Go away Fluttershy."
>Fluttershy witdrew a bit but insisted on talking to her
>"Just tell us what's wrong, please? We're you're friends, we only want to help you."
>"I don't care. Just leave me alone."
>”...”
>"Oh for Orchard's sake."
>Applejack walked forward and tried to twist the doorknob
"Constarnit girl! Will ya just open up already?"
>No response
>Twilight seemed anxious
>Applejack nearly broke down the door as she knocked on it again
>"Rainbow Dash! You open this door right now! Y'hear!? Twilight's dying to use the toilet!"
>Twilight flushed with embarassment
>"Applejack not so loud. The neighbors might hear you"
>Rarity too tried to calm her down
>"Indeed, such private business should only be spoken of in hushed tones."
>Rolling her eyes AJ turned her attention back to the door and continued knocking
>Lyra peeked out from behind the curtain
>"Rarity your dresses are looking really great! Do you think you'll have time to make one for me?"
>She smiled expectantly though Rarity could only shrug
>"We'll just have to wait and see, considering our current situation."
>There was the sound of knocking again, but it wasn't Applejack
>Everyone turned in unison towards the front door
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>It sounded like a heavy handed patron
>The girls started whispering to each other on what they should do
>Twilight calmed them all down as she fumbled in her pockets for the phone
>"Okay girls, I'll call Anon and ask him what we should do. Just try to stay quiet."
>Unfortunately her grasp on technology wasn't as great as she thought it was
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNz4XtZ-XMs [Embed]
>She tried everything to get the phone to shut up
>"Twilight can't ya get that darn thing ta quiet down?"
>"I'm trying..."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>Pinkie took the phone from Twilight and started shaking it
>"Please. Please. Please be quiet Mr.Phone. I'll bake you a muffin. No a cupcake. No regular sized cake. No a-"
>Pinkie was struggling to hold on to the phone as Twilight and the others tried to wrestle it out of her hands
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>Suddenly the bathroom door swung open and threw the girls onto the floor
>The phone flew out of pinkie's hands all the way over to the kitchen floor and slammed into the linoleum tiles
>The resulting impact knocked the battery cover off and the battery off the phone
>The girls gasped as they watched in horror as Rainbow crossed over the sofabed and towards the door
>"Rainbow! Wait, no!"
>Twilight's pleas fell on deaf ears as she unlocked the door and threw it open
>On the other side stood a large figure that encapsulated Rainbow's girlish frame
 
---
 
>You started browsing 4chan on Trevor's phone
>He forgot to ask for it back
>Whatever, you were tired of fucking around with the pool table
>Now you were in the parking lot leaning against the truck
>At least two hours had passed since she left
>You kick a pebble on the ground as you scroll past a Trixie thread
>Nothing good so far, maybe today wasn't a good day to browse /mlp/
>No one even had a decent prompt to get a shitty green going
>...
>But maybe you did
>Granted it was a stupid idea, but who the hell would take anything posted on 4chan seriously anyway
>After two seconds of thought you decide 'fuck it' and begin work on your own thread
 
Say you lived alone in peace when one day you are suddenly burdened with the mane 6 + a useless dragon
Say hypothetically there was a mob of Mountain Dew sucking Cheeto inhaling spergs after you
They are after your waifu and the others and they know your name and where you live and it's only a matter of time before they make their move
What do?
 
>You attach a picture of a Lyra shrugging as the op image and send it away
>Now to watch the bumps roll in
>Or porn...porn was also an option
>Assuming Trevor had decent coverage in this area a quick wank wasn't entirely out of the question
>Before going back inside to the use the bathroom however you refresh the page out of habit
2 new posts
>Boy that was quick
 
1. I move out to the country.
2. Introduce them to the wonders polygamy.
3.???
4. Profit
 
>the next one read
 
I would get a chainsaw and rip all their asses to shreds! No one places their cheeto dust covered fingers on my waifu except me!
 
>Great help these guys were
>Refreshing again you find another 3 posts
>All of them were just more impossible scenarios involving relocation or chaging names
>Figuring these first few responses would just be jokes you decide to head in anyway
>You could use a bit of a stress release
 
---
"And boom goes the dynamite."
>You stand up to flush and go was your hands
>That was some nasty ass porn I tell you hwat
>You wish you could say you killed a good half hour in there, but it was more like 5 minutes
>Still 5 minutes, that's more sexual stamina than a stallion has
>Feeling proud you pick up the phone after drying your hands and check up on your thread
>23 new posts
>Wow that picked up steam
>Again most of the posts were half assed suggestions
>Others made an argument for doing the sensible and contacting local authorities
>Though that wouldn't work either since you failed to mention your little escapade the other day
>You kept scrolling
>"First of all i would get a gun. If i had the money ready that is. Then i would gun down those bastards one by one as they came through the door. No charges are filed because they were caught breaking and entering. Castle Laws motherfucker. That's it, problem solved."
>You had the money, but what mom n pop gun shop would ever sell an underage faggot like you a gun?
>Scroll, scroll, scroll
>Rape
>Scroll
>Hang on
>This post had a picture of a fedora, and something else
>Driven by morbid curiosity you click on it
>The something else was a timestamp
>Today, two minutes ago
>"Hello anon, or should i call you Anon E. Moose?"
>There was a familiar neckbeard cut off just near the top
 
"Expect Us."
 
>Feeling sick to your stomach you delete the thread
>No more shits and giggles
>Shit had just hit the fan
 
 
---
>Now the story takes place somewhere else
>Not a tattoo parlor or a shitty apartment, but an office building
>Here a secondary anon was pretending to do his boss's paperwork
>Really he was browsing 4chan
>/mlp/ his secret guilty pleasure
>Normally he wouldn't be into this sort of stuff, but damn these ponies spoke to him
>Spotting a supervisor coming his way he clicks out of the IE and goes back to his spreadsheet
>The boss passed by without a second glance
>He didn't hop back on the ride until he heard his office door close
>Immediately he went back to the futaba blue board and hastily scrolled down the page
>Some anon had posted a prompt that caught his eye
>Something about being chased around by autists with the girls
>He had just typed in his response and was preparing to post it
>404
>"What?"
>Refreshing the page provided no results
>Cursing under his breath he decided to get back to work
>He'd try later at home
 
---
 
>Outside again you desperately pace back and forth
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck..."
>You only pause long enough to look at the time
"Fuuuucckk."
>Why didn't you go out and get a family plan for you and the girls when you had the chance?
>With the money you had you could've at least afforded one month's worth of service
>Or hell maybe just go prepaid since they probably wouldn't be here that long anyway
>You pause as the thought sinks in
>The primary objective was to keep them safe and get them home
>You look off into the distance
>8/9 wasn't too bad but you'd be damned if you were going to leave that bitch behind
>Not with those assholes
>There were plenty of parties where you've seen their kind try to score with drunk chicks
>Usually somebody intervened, other times they would commandeer a bedroom and close it off to the rest
>One of your "friend's" sister was almost dragged off by them a few weeks back
>The next morning there were three bodies lumped in a pile in front of the house covered in beer, piss, and blood
>Their faces welted sorely after nearly the entire football team jumped them
>That wouldn't stop them though
>You were almost positive they crashed another party since then
>And the way they fought, like niggers, you were almost assured an ass whooping
>Putting the phone in your pocket you feel an unfamiliar bulge
>Considering where you just came from you weren't sure what it was, but you damn sure knew what it wasn't
>Wrapping your hand around it you heard it jingle
>It was a bit tough to pull out but soon you found yourself holding a strange keychain
>All kinds of keys were in the assorted mess
>These must belong to that one sperg you knocked the shit out of
>House keys, car keys, keys from cartoons, others from the middle ages, and then there were three curious little ones
>One with a black handle looked like it belong to a strongbox
>The second was weirdly square shaped
>And the last one had a blue tag with the number 404 on it
>The wording read Anonsville Downtown train station
>A cloud passes over you, its shadow creeping by quickly
>The train station was just 6 blocks away
>Opening up the truck you pull out a used envelope from the glove box and a ratty old pen
>Scribbling down a hurried note you lock the doors and place it under the windshield wiper
>The sun shone down once again as you take off
>"Gilda, will be back soon. STAY HERE."
 
 
>The train station was just like any other one in the world
>The staff did a good job keeping it clean though you wouldn't want to stick around after dark
>Busy business people made their way through the crowds almost expertly as they tried to catch a cab outside
>More delinquents and truants hung around the darker areas just waiting for someone to slip up and leave their bags unattended
>Luckily security made it a point to make its rounds by the lockers on the far wall
>You walk over trying to look as natural as possible as you look for locker 404
>Finding it at eye level you rush over and use the key
>Taking a breath you can't help but think to yourself "Let's see what's behind door number 2"
>Opening it you find a black weathered attache, or satchel
>It looked like an oversized purse
>Not wanting to break character you pull it out and find it surprsingly heavy
>You swing it over your shoulder to keep from looking suspicious and begin to walk away
>Casting a sideways glance at the delinquents you catch their eyes following you
>As soon as your clear of the doors you bust out running down the street
>Someone behind you shouted something and you heard whoops and hollers from the others
>Running around the corner you almost bulldoze a suit talking on his cell
"Sorry."
>You kept up the pace as you apologize for knocking his papers out of his hand
>"HEY!"
>Then you heard a loud grunting and more yelling
>Stopping at the corner to look back you see the group trying to climb over each other
>The man on the floor was kicking wildly and using every curseword he could
"That oughta slow them down."
>A cautious smile spreads over your face, there was a bus loading people a few steps away
>Jogging non-chanlantly over you hop on just before the doors are closed and drop a few coins in the tray
>Taking a seat near the middle of the bus you manage to spot two of them rounding the corner and look around
>Phew that was close
>You pat the bag at your side and begin to wonder if it was worth the trouble
>One thing was for sure, it was heavy and it wasn't alone
>There had to be two or three items in there beating your hip halfway to shit as you ran
>Everyone around you seemed to be minding their own business so you may as well have a peek right?
>Undoing the clasp you flip over the cover and have a look at your brand new Luger pistol
>Not being stupid you close the motherfucker and try to play it off
>"Holy balls" you think to yourself "What the fuck is this nigga doin with a gun?"
>You felt your heart drop into your stomach as you realized that maybe the others were just as well equipped
>Fuck, that night with the giant could've ended very differently if he had this shit on him
>Crossing your legs you decide not to fuck around anymore
>What did that one post say?
>Get a gun, gun them down? Are castle laws even enacted in this city?
>You keep this train of thought going until the bus turns around
>If it goes the way you think it does then it should drop you off 3 blocks from the arcade
>You weren't gone too long, if Gilda had made it back already even she wouldn't be impatient enough to leave by now right?
>A whole new wave of anxiety hits as you realize she's still alone with those bastards
>The bus went over a bump and the bag hits your leg
>That's right, you had your own personal armament now
 
 
 
>"There he is. How's it going champ? Did you go walk it off?"
>Great this motherfucker again
>At least Gilda was safe, for the most part
>It looked like someone threw a handful of shrapnel in her face with all the new piercings she got
>Apparently the shock and awe was visible on your face
>"Oh you like Gils' new look? Yeah she started off with some ink but Billy talked her into a few studs too."
>Gilda had more than a few studs
>She had three earrings on each ear, another three over each eyebrow and one in her lip
>Which you had to admit looked pretty hot
>What was more is that she tied her t-shirt up in a knot exposing her midriff and apparently her new tattoo
>She rolled up the sleeves of her jacket and was wearing a new pair of black gloves as well
>"Yeah i got a new look now, still a work in progress though."
>Gilda clasped her hands together before stretching them out in front of her then up and over her head
>She jutted her chest out purposely
>You weren't the only one who noticed however
>Ricky practically had to wipe the drool off his mouth
>"Damn Gils."
>"What?"
>Ricky scoffed
>"Really? You're making me forget why we came here."
>He leaned against the truck and pretended to see it for the first time
>"Whoa! This is a nice truck, i really like this truck."
>He turned to you
>"Hey champ do you know who is the sole proprietor of this here nice truck?"
>The stoner cackled to himself as he slid to the floor
>"Oh, man. Ricky you know man."
>"Josh shut up. Let the kid speak."
>He looked at you feigning expectancy
>"Well?"
>You ball your fist at your side, right on top of the bag
>Gilda came to your rescue
>"Ugh, it's his alright."
>You're a pal Gilda
>Ricky smiled again
>"That's great, i was just telling the guys how we lack a proper mode of transportation. Isn't that right Cam?"
>The fat guy in sunglasses next to him sneered and rubbed his hands through his spiky blue hair
>"That's right brother."
>"It's too bad we don't know anyone generous enough to allow us usage of their fine vehicle."
>Gilda walked up to you and held out her hand
>"Just give us the keys anon. I'm tired of hearing his voice."
>"Damn"
>Ricky shot a look at Scotty who covered his mouth and looked away as he laughed
>You stared up at her in defiance
"No."
>"Come on Anon, don't make this hard on yourself. Remember what happened the last time you tried to play hero."
>Standing your ground you repeat your answer
>Gilda grabs you by the scruff of your neck and starts whispering
>"Listen he doesn't want you to know this because he thinks it'll make him look soft but he wants to visit his
 
uncle and aunt. His cousin drowned in some flood just outside of town."
>Shit
>"He really just wants to borrow it. I'll make sure he brings it back."
>Peering behind her you see Ricky rubbing his nose and looking smug as all shit
>You didn't want to look like a bitch, but this was kind of your fault
>"Just give me the keys already!"
>You try to stare her down again but you give up way too quickly
"...fine."
>You reach into your backpocket and fish out the car keys
>She snatches them up before you can hand them to her
>Finally she pushes you onto the floor and turns around waving the keys like a trophy
>Fuck this
>"Take his bag too."
>"What?"
>Gilda looked back at you and the incognito gun case
>"What for?"
>Scotty shook his head smiling
>"Just do it."
>She tries to go for it but you catch her arm in a firm grip
>It was already slightly open
"Don't take the bag."
>Gilda pulls her arm from your tight grip
>"What the hell anon?"
>"Yeah, 'Anon', what the hell? What's in that bag that's so important."
>Ricky stepped forward with Cam and Scotty by his side
>Josh was still tripping next to the rear tire
>You figured you'd give them a chance
"It's school stuff i need for finals. I want to be able to graduate and not end up like..."
>"Like who!?"
>Ricky started gaining ground on you when you all heard a loud bang
>"HEY. YOU LEAVE THAT KID ALONE OR ELSE!"
>The bartender stood in the open doorway
>He was holding a large wrench in his hand
>Ricky didn't let himself be intimidated
>"Oh yeah pops? Or else what?"
>Three more guys showed up behind him holding a pool cues
>"Or else me and my regualrs'll here will beat the crap out of you. That's what."
>He looked at you waved you along
>"Get out of here kid and take your girlfriend with you."
>Gilda suddenly became red in the face
>"HEY IM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND GOT IT!"
>The guys laughed
>"Ok fine, just get out of here both of you. We'll take care of these guys."
>You stand up and dust your ass off before grabbing the keys from her hand
>"Hey! Don't grab my hand like that!"
>Her words carried venom
"I just want the keys."
>Gilda opened her palm
>She grimaced and shoved them at you
>"Take'em."
>She walked past Ricky on her way to the car
>"Tsk. I'll see ya."
>"Whatever."
>Gilda stood at the passenger door waiting for you
>Now it was your turn to make your way past them
>You made sure to keep a hand over the satchel
>"Next time you won't be so lucky."
>Feeling ballsy you stand shoulder to shoulder and look him in the eye
"We'll see about that."
>You wink at him for good measure and watch his face distort in confusion as you walk away
>Not wasting any time you hop in the truck and start it up giving the bartender a thumbs up before you bounce
>Left alone the punks try to stare down the grizzled old men
>"Well?"
>Ricky threw his hands up in a challenge
>The guys went back inside
>"Go home boy."
>When the door finally closed Ricky kicked the asphalt
>"Man, i knew they were pussies."
>Cam shrugged
>"So what now? She already told us where they lived, when do we go for the truck?"
>"Later Cam, way later. Like 2 am or something, she said she'd wait for us."
>From the other side of the parking lot a new set of delinquents showed up
>"Hey Rickyy! What's up?"
>Ricky shook their secret handshake with them
>"Not much, we just lost a truck and a babe."
>"Damn son. We lost a guy at the train station too."
>"Oh, yeah."
>"Yeah. He was holding a bag that didn't belong to him."
 
---
 
>"What's up with the bag?"
"Oh, uh...i fo-i found it. And um, y'know...finders keepers."
>"What's the matter cat got your tounge?"
>Gilda stuck her tounge out at you to reveal yet another silver stud
>[spoiler] Fucking Unf [/spoiler]
"So, what's up with the whole hellraiser look?"
>"Hellraiser? I don't know what your talking about but i like that name."
>A big goofy smile spread across her face
>"Yeah, Hellraiser."
>You would really hate to burst her bubble, buttfuck it
"Oh, that's just the name of the movie. The character you look like is called pinhead."
>Gilda's smile vanished in a flash
>She looked at you with malice in her eyes and raised her fist at you
>"What did you just call me?"
>Gilda flexed her fist in her new gloves, they scritched with the pressure
"Whoa, chill. He's really cool (edgy) and his name is pretty badass in this world."
>"Oh, yeah?"
>"Yeah, i mean he lives outside of hell, and he collects humans souls, and for fuck's sake he's a Hell Priest.
 
The guys totally-"
>Gilda flicked your nose again
"What the..?"
>"You talk too much Anon, you're almost as annoying as that ponka poo back at your place."
>Gilda sat back in her seat and watched the scenery go by
>She was quiet for all about two seconds
>"If it were one on one you could probably take him."
>She surprised you
"You think so?"
>She turned her head and looked you over
>"Yeah, maybe not. You look pretty weak dude."
"Gee thanks."
>Your eyes fell on the bag in the middle console
>There were different kinds of strengths after all
>Physical, mental, psychologi- She took the bag
>No dice
>You reach over immediately and grab a strap
"Drop the bag Gilda. This ain't meant for you."
>"What the hell Anon? Let go."
>You struggle to keep the vehicle straight with one hand while wrestling for the bag with the other
>When Gilda pulled the truck veered slightly to the right
>When you pulled it went back to the left
>You nearly pissed yourself trying to avoid running into all the honking vehicles and screaming pedestrians in
 
your path
>Not realizing it your foot had pressed down all the way on the accelerator and your smart ass was headed to the
 
slopes
>Pretty self explanatory but the slopes were a collection of hills and valleys that made up part of the old city
>Nothing much passed through here except 18 wheelers and construction vehicles
>That was the good news, the bad news was that you were now currently headed down the steepest hill, "The Drop"
>Your truck practically sprang up on its wheels as it crested The Drop and made its way down
"Fuck!"
>"No! Fuck You! Lemme see!"
>You struggled a bit longer before a factory whistle caught your attention
>Another load of steel was being cast, which meant the trucks were loaded for bear and rolling out
>The speedometer read nearly 80 miles an hour and climbing fast
>Already halfway down the hill you let go of the bag putting both hands on the wheel
>"Yeah I-Whoa! What's going on!"
>You didn't bother answering instead concentrating on the road as the rigs started popping up
>Gilda screamed something else at you but you vehmently ignore her again as you swerve to avoid a collision with
 
a 40 ton metallic monster
>The truck begins to fishtail when you try to bring it back
>The sound of screeching tires and horns fill the air around you
>Drifting back and forth throws Gilda against the door and your shoulder
>Stupid bitch didn't buckle up
>You pound the brakes repeatedly trying to regain control with less than half the hill remaining before you hit
 
the bottom
>That wouldn't be a good thing considering a 40 drop into a ravine was waiting for you there
>The truck finally keeps a straight line and you slam on the brakes
>Somewhere along the way you find the peace of mind to stretch out your right arm to protect Gilda
>You felt her weight press against your hand as the G forces push both of you forward
>The tires found traction and moaned pitifully as they kept the vehicle from gaining any more speed
>It wasn't enough
>Though they slowed you down it took crashing up onto the guard rail and jumping the curb before the truck
 
shuddered to a stop
>At first all you could hear was your own breathing
>Tunnel vision affected your eyesight
>You look over to Gilda, her head was hanging down
>Shaking her you tried to get a response
"Hey, are you ok?"
>Gilda clamped her hand over your wrist and turned her head towards you
>"Don't...touch me."
>It took a moment for your mind to come into focus but when it did you found out why
>You were holding her boob in your hand
>Her heart was racing too
"Sorry."
>You let go slowly
>Once again all you could think about was your own breathing
>You patted yourself over, making sure everything was in its place
>Aside from a stress induced nosebleed you seemed fine
"Are you ok?"
>Gilda shook her head
>"I am going to kill you Anon."
 
>You don't pay her no mind and hop out of the car to inspect the damage
>The tires dug into the ground and slid a good 3 feet past the rail, the rear ones seemed to have caught the
 
curb just enough to stop it
>They still seemed well inflated but not the airbags
>Mud and grit splashed all over the sides and windows, speaking of which the windshield now had a large crack
 
stretching from the hood to just over your head
>The grill was mangled but still attached and the driver's side headlight was cracked
>The hood was a bit crumpled in but nothing too serious though the engine had cut off
>Gilda still seemed irritable behind the pane of cracked glass
>everythingturnedoutbetterthanexpected.jpeg
>Turning around you walk about ten feet and peek over the edge
>There was a slew of new debris at the bottom that spilled into the stream, evidence of a landslide
>No doubt the rains had forced the creek to break its banks and erode the cliff even further
>You got a sinking feeling
>"HEY ANON! NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO KILL I HOPE ITS WORTH IT!!!"
>Gilda threw the bag at you suddenly and almost sent you over the top
"Holy Shit!"
>"Anon!"
>Gilda ran forward and jerked you back
>Unfortunately losing your footing you trip and slam into her sending both of you tumbling to the muddy ground
>Of course Gilda being taller caused you to fall headfirst into her chest
>These airbags worked
>"A-N-O-N!"
? ? ?
>Again you take your time to lift your gaze towards
>You panic when you see her red face
>Taking a deep breath fills your senses with her musky aroma
>Jumping back in fear you start apologizing
"Sorry, sorry, sorry."
>As Gilda sits up you get that sinking feeling again
>She also seemed to be getting bigger, and meaner, and maybe further?
>It wasn't until Gilda starts to look worried that it hits you
>You were actually sinking
>Looking over your shoulder you see the earth crumbling and taking you over the edge
>Clawing at the ground out of instinct you feel yourself topple backwards
>By the grace of God your leg gets snagged
>Sliding next to you the bag falls into oblivion only to answer with a dull thud a second later
>The earth is still falling apart under you as you look down, or up to see Gilda holding on to you
>She easily pulls you up and drags you back to the car
>By the time she dumps you your shirt has been pulled up to your armpits and your back is covered with a healthy
 
layer of dirt
>All you care to see is a cloudy blue sky
>You don't want to look at her, she might just bust your nose this time
>There's a silence shared between you two
>The steady gurgle of the stream and the distant roaring of trucks take up the empty air
>"That's twice i saved your life today ya dweeb."
"...ok. Um, but wait."
>Sitting up you stare back at the top of the hill
"Wasn't it your fault we ended up here?"
>"What did you say?"
>Fuck it, broken nose or not this bitch had to hear it
"Yeah, that's right. It was your dumbass that wanted that fucking bag. That's why i missed my turn."
>"You better not."
"And when you didn't let go i stepped on the gas too."
>"That's your fault! Not mine!"
"And just now you threw that fucking bag at me and almost fucking killed me!"
>"S-Shut up."
"You didn't save my life at all you fucking birdbrain!"
>Gilda towered over you
>"Idiot, then what do you call what i just did?"
"I call it fucking payback!"
>You weren't going to lay down for this shit
>Standing up you go toe to toe with her
>Gilda looked down at you with a powerful expression
>"Just what do you think you can do against me twerp."
>'Well, nothing really i'm just really mad at you right now..."
"...wait and see."
>Backing off you march back to the cab of the truck and start digging around
>After a few puzzling moments you give up and walk back out and try to stare down Gilda again
>Unfortunately she was all the more confident now which threw you off
>Sighing as you do so you ask for the bag
>"You let go of it, remember?"
>She smugly folds her arms
"What the hell are you talking about?"
>Again it takes you a moment
"Oh, crap. I forgot."
>"Idiot."
 
 
>It took a half hour sloshing around on your hands and knees, a few swear words, and lots of goading from Gilda
 
before you found the bag
>"Find your purse yet anon?"
>You had only managed to unearth the strap but you were positive this was it
"It's not a purse, it's a satchel."
>"What's the difference?"
"Satchels don't carry makeup and jewelry."
>You talk as you dig it out
"Men use them to carry manly stuff like computers, or books, or...well, other stuff."
>"So it's a man-purse?"
"N-No!"
>Goddamn it Gilda
>Deciding to ignore her you take a hold of the strap and start pulling
>Pretty stupid since the flimsy piece of leather was weathered pretty bad
>It ended up breaking and sent you tumbling ass backwards into a mud puddle
>Drenched in mud slop you fish yourself out and in spite of Gilda's giggling go back to-
>You stop
>The only sound the gurgling stream
>"What is it this time?"
"Did you just...um?"
>"What."
>She got that look again
>Shaking it off you instead ask for her help
>"Pfft. Of course you do. Outta the way shrimp."
>She came up next to you and pushed you away with her index finger
>Before she did anything else she took off her jacket and tossed it at your face
>It was warm but smelled like cigarettes
>"DON'T get it dirty."
>You were about to question where she got it in the first but figured Magic Muthafucka ain't gotta explain shit
>Then another thought entered your mind
>It had to wait though as she bent over in front of you
>Dat_Ass_Lipbite.png
>It wasn't just that though
>As Gilda stretched out her slender arm you noticed how wide her biceps were
>When she pulled her muscles tensed and you could see their true definition
>You were surprised at how easily she manage to pull it out
>Gilda Stronk yo
>"Here you big baby, or should i just call you miss from now on?"
>It took you a bit to answer as you still relished in all her sleek, toned goodness
>Her muscles were way bigger than yours, almost, not by much
>You knew cause you spent your time in a mirror checking yourself out
>But not a whole, you weren't a freak right?
>"HEY!"
>Gilda tosses you your purse and swipes her jacket back
>"What the hell are you doing?"
>She covers herself up as you stumble with your words for the fiftieth time
"No, no nothing. I was ummm, i mean y-you um. You're pretty strong huh?"
>You smile incomprehensibly at her as you wait her response
>"...You're weird dude."
>She put her jacket on and started walking back to the path that led you down here
>You were left holding your prize caked in mud and decide to look inside and take inventory
>Yep that's a gun, time to go home
---
 
>"ANON!"
>As soon as you opened the door Rainbow Dash tackled you to the floor with tears in her eyes
>Behind her the others held their breath as she showered you with kisses
>Fluttershy and Rarity also seemed one the verge of tears
>You were about to join in as the luger jab itself into your side
"Rainbo-Ow, ow. Get off seriously, it hurts"
>"No way dude. I'm never letting go! Not anymore!"
>Rainbow clung tightly to you and buried her face in your chest
>The pain only worsened
"Seriously. I'm dying here."
>"Rainbow Dash you get up this instant!"
>It was Rarity to your rescue
>"I still haven't finished that dress and Oh! He's covered in mud!"
>Rarity was about to rescue her work from your dirty clutches when Gilda bent over instead
>"Alright sister, loverboy's not going anywhere."
>She bent over again and grabbed at the back of the dress held together by flimsy pins
>When she pulled up Rainbow only came up halfway before the whole thing gave way
>She fell back down topless
>A rush of blood went to both your heads as the awkwardness of the situation settled
>Rainbow herself blushed and covered her boobs
>"Whoops."
>She gave you a nervous little smile
>"Guess you don't want to see me this way huh?"
>'HUH?'
>Applejack came forward and picked her up, covering her with a blanket
>"Come on Rainbow, back behind the curtain."
>Rarity stepped up to Gilda and took the fabric from her
>"Oh, Gilda you brute now I'm going to have to start all over."
>"Why don't you actually try stitching this time."
>"You have no idea what kind of work goes into a dress do you?"
>"You kiddin' i never even wore one."
>Rarity put her hands at her hips
>"Well then i hope you appreciate what yours looks like after you've seen how-"
>You know it was funny
>From down on the floor you could almost see up Raruty's skirt
>"Anonymous are you alright? You haven't gotten up yet."
"Oh, uh, little help?"
>"Don't be ridiculous. You're covered in dirt."
>Rarity left without a second glance
"Gilda?"
>"I'm not getting dirty. Get yourself up, dork."
>She too walked away with a huff
>The gun was still in your side
"I get no respect, no respect i tell ya. I once fell and couldn't get up. I asked two girls for help, they said
 
i was dirt."
 
>No laughs? Seriously?
>Whatever, what mattered is that you were home and now you had a decent way of defending yourself against the
 
horde
>In the living room you take off your muddy shoes, socks, pants, and shirt and toss them in the closet
>You take the satchel into your room
>"But i want to be with anon!"
>Rarity shushed Rainbow behind the curtain
>You don't know what got into her
>First she gives you the cold shoulder and now she wants to be all lovey dovey?
>Was she going through her pegasus period or something?
"I'm going to take a shower so nobody go into the bathroom."
>There was a resounding 'OK' from them followed by a shrill of giggles
>It was disturbing but you didn't pay attention
>As you get clothes from your dresser a soft moan emanates from under the bed
>Spike rolls out with a pained look on his expression
>"AAaaaannoon?"
>You shake your head at him
"Still not feeling good?"
>"My tummy still hurts."
"Yeah well that's what you get. Where's Lyra?"
>A single hoof lifts up from under the messed up covers on your bed
"You too?"
>She just dropped her hoof
>Stupid pony should've never come along in the first place
>You move on to the bathroom and left them like that
>So that way they learn
>You notice Gilda laying on the couch with earphones
>Must've had a long day, you'd ask her about it tomorrow
>Those punks weren't to be trusted
>Closing the door you finally get down to business
>Running cold water through the shower head you sit down on the toile to inspect the gun
>You were disappointed to find it covered in mud
>It must've seeped in after it fell
>Pulling back the slide causes a bullet to eject effectively
>A wave of anger and fear wash over you
>That fucking idiot had it loaded?
>You could've been shot back on the drop!
>What was worse was that the slide didn't lock in position
>No matter how hard you tried it just kept falling back down
>Six more rounds had to be unloaded before it finally locked on an empty clip
>The bullet were pretty thick, you guessed maybe they were .45 caliber
>Remembering the cop that visited your 3rd grade class a few years back caused you to check the serial number
>If it had been filed off you'd be in serious shit if you got caught
>You found numbers all over the thing though, lots of them
>Some were covered in mud and there was an X carved into the base of the barrel
>Well, at least it was legit
>Stolen but legit
 
>You struggled to pull out the clip to reload
>Eventually it came out into your hand and you pushed in the bullets you took out
>Looking in the bag you found a second fully loaded clip along with a little case
>It turned out to be a very basic gun cleaning kit
>The guy was a spaz but at least he knew how to keep a gun
>There was one last thing at the very bottom
>Something that looked like a muddied note
>Unfolding it revealed it to be a receipt for the purchase of the gun
>The writing was barely legible but you managed to make out the sell date as two months prior
>Fucking shit
>Not wanting to deal with it anymore you stuff everything back into the bag and hide it behind the toilet
 
>A short while into your bath you hear the door open
>You hear it close but nothing else
>"They said you needed a towel and didn't want to bring it themselves."
"Gilda?"
>"Don't read too much into this dweeb. It was the only way to keep them from buggin me."
"Uh, ok. Thanks i guess, just leave it anywhere."
>You hear something flop on the floor
>How sweet of her
"Wait, how did you know i needed a towel?"
>"They used them up earlier to shower before their fittings. They said they didn't want to intrude on your
 
privacy."
"Oh."
>"Yeah, they said you were they didn't want to embarass you by looking at your naked body."
"...and you do?"
>Don't flatter yourself, they just said you're too 'pure' and don't want to push you into an uncomfortable
 
situation."
>They said WHAT!?
"They said WHAT!?"
>You pulled back the curtain but quiclkly covered yourself when you saw her
>"Hey it's none of my business if you're a prude."
>You felt your face glow hot as she flashed you a toothy grin
>"Yeah, Rainbow said she felt like crud after coming on to you."
>You duck back behind the curtain as she continues
>"Turns out Brad paid them a visit earlier and set them straight. Don't worry sweet little anon, you're safe now
 
thanks to mama Brad. HA!"
>What the actual fuck?
>Like seriously
>WHY?
>"You heard me anon? You won't have to worry about those scary girls anymore."
>This shit was fucking embrassing
>Quick act cool to safe face!
"Oh, yeah. Well what about you?"
>"You'll have to worry about me for the rest of your life got it! And more now if you don't hurry up and towel
 
off, I smell like cheap cigs!"
>The door slammed announcing her departure
>You rest your head on the tiled wall
"I didn't even get to wash my balls yet."
 
End of Day 8