Title:           The Coroner
Author:          CelestialOrigin
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/YK4gSMkm
First Edit:      Saturday 27th of February 2016 06:22:40 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 27th of February 2016 06:22:40 AM CDT

>Welp another day another corpse to disassemble.
You are Anonymous. Canterlot's very own royal coroner.
>After discovering your "Special Talent" the Princesses decided to give you your job.
>Although your 1st day was a bit more hectic than you would have liked.
>Picture it, the New York City Morgue about a year ago.
>It started like any other day.
>Some stupid gangbanger got himself shot 13 times in the chest with a .45.
>It was pretty obvious how the fucker died.
>However, in the case of homicide the deceased gets an autopsy.
>So there you were cutting out what was left of the fucker's heart to put on the scale.
>"Hello? Can anypony hear me?"
>The sound causes you to nearly jump out of your skin causing you to drop the heart.
"Hello?"
>"I DID IT!"
>Fucking interns.
"Who's there! This is a restricted area, you can't be in here!"
>"Calm down I'm not actually there." She says dismissively.
>"I am simply testing out an experimental long distance communication spell."
"Okay? So where are you?" You say while looking for the source of the sound.
>"I'm in my castle, In Ponyville. Oh! What is your..."
"Okay, where is the speaker? I don't have time for silly games."
>"This isn't a game, and there isn't a speaker. She says with just a hint of annoyance in her voice.
>"This is long range mental communication. You aren't hearing with your ears, but with your mind. Therefore, you should try to be..."
"So you are a voice in my head?" You interrupt
>"I suppose that is partially true. At least on your part."
"You aren't going to tell me to kill my neighbor are you?"
>"What?! N-no I was just trying to open communication with somepony."
"Well you did it. Whoop Dee doo. Now can you please go away I have 4 more autopsies to perform by 7 o'clock."
>"Autopsies?! Why are you performing autopsies?"
"Because somebody died and I need to find out how it happened. Even though this particular one is obviously a total waste of my time and talent."
>"I promise I won't take too much of your time. Please let me ask you some questions."
"How bout' no."
>"Why not? It will only take a few minutes. "
"Because apparently you are just a voice in my head and I don't think I would enjoy living in a crazy house."
>"You don't think I'm real?"
>You at this point decide that now is a good time to stop talking to yourself and to actually get some work done.
>"Hey, what is your name?"
>..........
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle."
"Twilight Sparkle? What are you a fairy?"
>"No, I happen to be a pony."
"Ponies don't talk." You deadpan.
>"Yes we do. How else would I be talking to..."
"Just stop. You aren't funny and you aren't a damn pony. Now get the hell out of my head!"
>"Fine."
>Why do I feel a high speed projectile "but" approaching?
>"But can you at least tell me your name?"
"Anonymous. There are you happy? Can you leave me alone now?"
>-sigh- "Alright if you really want to be left alone I'll cast the spell that breaks the connection with you. Just wait a second."
>Finally
>you turn around and pick up the scalpel so you can finally return to your work.
>"Oh no no no no no!"
>Everything begins tasting purple and you suddenly get a massive headache.
>Blinding light flashes causing you to feel like you've been hit in the head with a bat.
>After a minute or so your vision returns and your head clears.
>Looking around you notice that you aren't in the autopsy room. In fact, you aren't even in the morgue.
>You see books, crystals, and a small purple thing with a panicked expression.
"Shit."