Title:           Red & Anon (Anon & Red) CYOA 6
Author:          BabsZeeb
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ZWrLwNSA
First Edit:      Saturday 20th of June 2015 09:02:39 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 20th of June 2015 09:02:39 PM CDT

>you woke up slightly hungover in bed with the zebra sisters
>the two goth-socks were gently snoozing away as you sneaked out of bed, succeeding in not waking them
>damn, whatever magic that enveloped Equestria, Red was talking about was really doing a number in on your noggin
>you should probably get that whole thing checked out
>some food would be nice too
>… and a bath
>dragging your ass downstairs you see the bartender sleeping being slumped over his own table
>sampled his own supplies no doubt
>the bar was filled with passed out ponies
>dumb, lazy horses
>you grab your guns from the barrel in which you previously placed them in and exit the place
>Red was nowhere to be seen
>no worries, she's known in this area, she'll pop up eventually
 
>walking around the market you see busy ponies setting up shop
>you greeted an olive colored stallion and bought an apple from him
>breakfast achieved
>now lets see
>there's the blacksmith you could go talk to if you ever wanted to check out horse weapons or something
>like it or not, your guns will run out of ammo eventually
>besides, using a sword would be totally brutal
 
>there's also the church
>you could go check on Charles
 
>the brony guy you had no idea were was
>should have asked him were he was going to sleep last night
 
>there's also the question of the slaver ships
>you weren't sure about that gig
>it wasn't really your problem either
>if Griffins were such badasses the zebra sisters made them out to be you'd like to know more about them before doing so
>maybe you could solve it without brute force?
 
>the town of Neighssau was just waking up and you were free to do whatever you wanted as of now
 
 
 
>you waddled over to the blacksmith and greeted the Avalara orange mare in the forge
>"Evinin', friendo! What can I do you fo-woahh!"
>the little orange mare composed herself
>"Ah- sorry. Not used to Minotaurs round here."
"Please don't tell me Equestria has minotaurs."
>"They sure do! You're not from around here, are ya?"
"Not really."
>"Ahh, you're the shaved two-footed thing Red drags along, yes?"
"I guess. Can I just buy something, please?"
>"Well, I don't rightfully know if most of my here equipment will fit a man of your… stature."
"Well what can I buy?"
>"Spears, one hooved axes, halberds, a sword maybe?"
"What bout that hammer there?"
>you pointed to an old war hammer on display in the shop
>"Your little noodle arms can't swing that thing! Do't be silly…. What was your name again?"
"Anon."
>"Nice to meet you, anon, Amber here!"
>Amber rolled out a hoof for you to shake
>charmed
>"So! I'm afraid I could only sell you something more… your size in good conscience. Something, not pony sized and still smaller than what i'd give a minotaur."
 
>looking through the shop you saw a ton of weapons lining the shelves and barrels
>it looked like Amber had one of just about anything
 
 
 
"Can I just look around or something?"
>"Oh sure! just don't droll on anything."
>Amber followed behind you as she commented on the weapons you checked out
>"These ones are popular with some unicorn Royal guards, standard fencing swords they call them morning suns!"
"Jaha."
 
>"Ohh, you're gonna love this! A Zeverasian Assegai. Legends say dragons picked their teeth with them."
"…Dragons?"
>"Hehe, you really are a foreigner, Anon."
>fucking dragons?!
>awe man, might as well kill yourself
 
>"This here is a Cutlass. Perfect for you young swashbuckling privateers."
"Nice."
>the build looked sturdy but you had no idea why these ponies used traditional handles
>whatever, not like talking ponies made sense in the first place
 
"What's that?"
>you point to something out of Amber's eyesight
>"Oh that? …That's not really a weapon, Anon."
"Looks pretty cool."
>"That's a harpoon."
>Amber answered flatly
 
>these were all nice
>and probably the best fit for someone of your size
 
"I'm going with the cutlass."
>"Great!"
>Amber used her magic(???) to lift the item off it's shelf and insert it into a sheath for you
>"Do you want it wraped up?"
>Amber laughed
"Uhh. No."
>freaky fucking ponies
"But could I, maybe have a look at those harpoons for a sec?"
>"Sure, if you got the bits for it."
>the mare magiced over a pair of harpoons
>"Such craftmanship! These bad boys may look old, but they're equipped with the latest in enchantment tech."
"Encha- Like a game?"
>"Like in magic. They're hardy enough so the wood won't break under use and the tip is also enchanted to increase penetration."
"So, it's like a high-frequency blade?"
>"A high frequency whatnow?"
>idea
"Nevermind, do you think I can use it with a harpoon mount?"
>"Probably but there's no harpoon guns in Neighssau. It's not exactly a wailing village. Maybe some Griffin or Equestrian town could help you out"
"Damn."
>Amber took a look at your equipment dangling off you
>"What's that?"
"It's a Mossberg."
>"Ohh! I've never seen one of those, can I take a closer look?"
>you sling the shotgun off your back and lay it in front of Amber on a little table
>the mare poked and prodded at the thing intensely before being able to drag her eyes away from it
>"Woah, this is some good craftsmanship, out of this world! Is it military grade?"
"What? Not really no."
>"By Equestrian standards it is. Civies like us can't get our hooves on anything like this."
>Amber drew measurements of the barrel
>"Interesting. May I see a projectile It fires?"
>you hand the pony a shell and she immediately starts unwrapping it
>"Hmm, yess, yes! I can work with this."
"Work with what?"
>"Let me borrow a few bullets and I'll see if I can't modify the harpoons to be shot through your Most-bag."
"I don't think the gunpowder carry enough energy to-"
>"Oh you let me worry about that, Anon! Give me to the end of the day and I'll make you something neat, free of charge of course, I haven't seen military grade in anything other than magazines."
"O-K. You enjoy yourself then."
>Amber immediately started tinkering with some shells you placed on the table
>the thought of a shotgun firing harpoons was pretty fucking brutal
>before walking out you sat a pouch of bits at her counter as payment for the cutlass
 
>now that that was out of the way you needed to figure out what to do next
 
 
>you should probably gather everyone you know if you wanted to get those griffins
>does griffin taste good?
>bald eagle and lion mixed in with magic
>would probably taste like freedom and catnip
 
>you decide to drop off your larger weapons inside the Yacht
>no sense dragging those around, this town was friendly
>Charles, Charles..
>you hadn't talked to him since you left to fetch those books
>the brony told you he was last seen in the church
>couldn't hurt to check up on him
>it was a long walk but you finally got your ass over to the tiny church overlooking the town
>you went over to the stone building to knock on the door but you decided against it when you found it to already be open
 
>"I'm telling you, the earth revolves AROUND the sun."
>>"And I'm telling you! The Sun revolves AROUND the earth! Also WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TAKING THE SUN'S NAME IN VAIN!?"
>oh boy
>Charles and a light blue, female pony sporting wings and a golden bowl cut mane were arguing in the middle of the hallway
>a harsh exchange of pointing fingers/hooves took place in front of you as the two bickered
"Excuse me?"
>"And this Celestia character sounds ludicrous. There is only one trinity, The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit!"
>>"Wahahahat? You made that up you pagan zombie-worshiper!"
>"Air head."
>>"Two-feet!"
>"HETHAN!"
>>"BLOOD DRINKER!"
"GUYS!"
>the two of them stopped in their tracks and locked eyes with you
>the pony's anger was immediately traded out for a big toothy smile
>>"Oh! A newbie to our humble congregation. Have you accepted Celestia and Luna as your mistresseses and saviors?"
"What's going on here."
>Charles loosened up his tie, trying to cool off
>"Mr. Anonymous. Let me introduce you to Sunny over here."
>Charles patted the pony on her back
>"Anonymous, Sunny. Sunny, Anonymous."
>>"The pleasure is all mine."
>the pony- Sunny reached out a hoof and you shook it
"So. What was that all about?"
>"We were simply enjoying a bit of debate. It clears the mind and soothes the soul."
"I can see that."
>the two of them were sweating
>they've probably been going on like this for hours
"So, were did you sleep last night?"
>"The church, of course."
"Uhuh."
>"Sunny is a nice mare and we talked about Equestria and it's wonders all night. We even exchanged some of our life views."
"…Ya."
>>"I've offered Charles here to stay after prayer to converse with me for as long as he likes. It's so nice to find somepon- someone who shares your passion for the theistic. "
"I see. Well, I was just coming to get Charles. I'm gathering all humans and Red for a proposition over lunch "
>"Sounds good, Anonymous."
>Charles patted his pockets as if looking for something
>"Uh, if it's not too much of a bother-"
"Yeah I'll pay for the food."
>"You will? Thank you."
>>"Lunch? I haven't eaten all day? Can I come along?"
"No ofense but don't you have a church to take care of?"
>>"Oh it's fine. The radiating light of Celectia watches over all. Unlike Charles's Got her who prefers sitting on the sideline."
>"Choice words little pony, do you mean the same Celestia that was beaten by a bug?"
"Guys! Seriously."
>"I apologize, Mr. Anonymous."
"It's cool. Let's just go."
>those two were like a fucking Youtube comment section
 
 
>walking all the way down from the fucking church the three of you were back in town
>should you go looking for Red or the brony next?
>could his hippie ass even fire a gun?
 
>"Sunny, do you know any good places to eat?"
>>"There's a very nice harbor coffee to the left of here."
"Hold up a second. I need to find that brony first. Did you ever catch his name, Charles?"
>>"I don't believe I did, Mr. Anonymous."
"Strange."
>the three of you walked about the harbor hoping to find the brony
>the town was awake and in full swing by now
>ponies were walking about, chatting, working, eating
>like a town back home but it seemed more inviting
>you got a few looks still, but the towns ponies were getting used to having a bunch of humans run around
 
>target located
>on a patch of grass in a small park a stone trow away from the harbor lay the brony guy
>along with a winged mare
>pegasuses, Anon, they're called pegasuses
>or pegasi?
>whatever, it didn't matter
"Hey dude. Last night treat you well?"
>coming closer to him the stench of hash was apparent
>"Anon! Charles! Another pony! Hey guys, yep-"
>The guy's face turned mad smug
>"Picked up this little lady after my yoga class. Let's just say she got an A+ in the luuuve position."
>the mare giggled as he swirled his hand through her long, hippie-like mane
>Jesus Christ
"Umm. Ehh. You fucked… a pony?"
>smooth anon, real smooth
>"'Fuck' is an ugly word, bro we were expressing physical waves of positivity."
>so many questions rose to your head
>Charles was gripping his cross necklace
"Well that's cool and stuff but I actually came here to invite you to lunch."
>the stoner's heat raised at the thought of food
>"Well lady. I have some interdimentional business to attend to, if you'll excuse me."
>the mare smiled and waved as the brony got to two feet and started following you
>you had no further comments
 
>now all that remained was Red
>you walked back into the tavern from last night
>no sight of Red anywhere towards the tavern
>you decide to check inside
and found the old stallion washing up the place
>he hadn't seen Red either since last night
>you were beginning to wonder were she was
 
>you decide to check with the Yacht
>maybe Red is there
>with all these little colorful ponies walking around it's hard to find one specifically
>thankfully Red was taller than your average pony so you knew what to look for
>while walking towards the Yacht you decided to ask the brony a question that's been itching at you
"Hey ponyboy. What's your name?"
>"My name?"
"Yes, your name."
>"You don't know my name, bro?"
"You've never told me."
>"Well you never asked."
"Hey, don't get all womany on me here."
>>"Hey!"
>Sunny perked up
>shit
"No, It's an expression that- Oh for fucks sake just tell me your name, dude."
>"I don't like my name from back on earth- Ahhh. A new world warrants a new name, right dude?"
"No?"
>"I want a new name to celebrate a new beginning."
"Look, just tell me your name."
>"I'll tell you my name, my new name when I think of one. If you come up with something cool just let me know alright?"
>you facepalmed
"fucking bronies I swear to god"
>you approached the docked Yacht to see if Red had returned to the ship
>nope.ddo
 
 
"I'll guess we'll just start the lunch without her then, I'm sure she'll pop up eventually."
>and that you did
>>"Thank you, Anon. my hooves are killing me, I don't understand how you land-walkers manage."
"Why don't you just, uhh, fly or something?"
>you've actually never seen a pegasususus in flight before
>>"Oh like this?"
>Sunny took off with a kick as her wings flapped way to slowly to keep something of that size in the air
>creepy
>>"I don't know, I guess it's hard to pay attention when doing so. We were looking for Red after all."
"You know Red?"
>>"Yeah I know Red. A queer little blasphemer that one. All that moon worship is going to land her a spot in Tartarus one day."
>Sunny smiled innocently
 
>you kept walking towards the cafe Sunny mentioned
>you asked for a table for 5, expecting Red would show up
>this harbor cafe gave you all a good view on the street, to get an ever better view you decided for you and your company to sit outside
 
>it didn't take longer than for you all to finish your orders before you heard a groan coming from the street
>you saw a stallion limp across the street as if injured
>the poor fellow was drenched in sweat and had a clear look of pain in his eyes
>you didn't ogle too long but you noticed he had a half-chub going on
>shortly behind him you saw Red with the biggest, shit eating grin you've ever seen in your god damn life
"Damn Equestrians, you're not built to last, that's for sure. Are you sure you knew what you were doing back there?"
 
>"Please, Red. Leave me alone."
>the stallion tried to limp away from her as fast as he could
>Red playfully followed after
=="Awe, did I hurt you, big boy? Are you gonna cry for me?"==
 
"Hey Red!"
>Red poked up
=="Anon!"==
 
>Red merrily trotted over to were you guys were seated and took a chair
"What was that all about?"
=="I didn't get my money's worth, that's what. How were your whores, Anon?"==
 
 
 
"Unexpected."
="Ha! Yeah, I saw how you busted your balls over those books so I figured you needed somepony to plow the heat right out of you."=
 
>Sunny starred daggers at Red's liberal attitude towards sex
"Actually I didn't fuck them."
>you said, matter-of-factly
=="What the hell, Anon? I payed through the muzzle for Savannah and Havana! They're the best whores in Neighssau! Why. Didn't. You. Fuck. Them?!"==
 
>Red mad
"In what part of that little fucked up head of yours did you think buying me hookers was a good idea?"
=="What's wrong with whores? Whores are great! YOU are just being difficult."==
 
"Red, it's not appropriate for you to buy me a whore."
=="Why?"==
 
>Sunny chipped in
>"If what Charles tells me is true then humans are very opposed to everything not involving monogamy Sex is also sacred for their Religion and should only be practiced between a man and wife. Isn't that right, Charles."
>Red scowled as Charles chipped in as well
>"Well, not really sacred but it's not something to be practiced outside of a marriage."
"You fucking wot Charles?"
=="Is this true, Anon?"==
 
>Red looked like she regretted sending hookers your way
"I don't give a shit personally, it's more of a cultural thing, really. shit's taboo."
>Red gave you an unnamed look
=="And stealing Yachts isn't?"==
 
>"Wait, wait, you STOLE that Yacht?"
>you waved him off
"Not now, Charles."
>God dammit Red
"Look, prostitution isn't looked on all too well on earth. I don't know how this pony world works but if you're dealing with a very delicate thing here. Humans take… sex very seriously and that's why you ask me next time you pull a stunt like that."
=="Huh, you learn something new everyday I guess. Those whores are going out of your part of our bits by the way."==
 
"Hey'! I'll have you know-"
=="So whatareweall doing here? Are you having a little get together?"==
 
>"Ye-he, dude, what are we doing here?"
>the brony spoke up
"Lunch."
>"Oh-hoh, forgot, sorry dude."
"And a little brainstorm on how to take those Griffin slaver ships."
>An audible circle of gasps could be heard around the table
>with the exception of Red, laughing at you in a mocking manner for even considering taking on such a task
 
>now's the time to decide who to bring and what to bring
>maybe you should ask Red if she knew anyone experienced in this sort of stuff?
>or perhaps asking around what the people surrounding the table's skills and weaknesses were?
>you didn't really know were to start
 
 
 
"Red, what's so funny?"
=="N-nothing Anon. It's a noble cause, for real. And I'll totally back you on it but-"==
 
"But what?
>Red was still giggling a bit
=="How do you figure to take on TWO slaver ships, maned by Griffins no less with that Yacht of yours?"==
 
"What's wrong with the yacht?"
>The brony spoke up
>"Yeah man, that thing is smooth, you know? Got a real grove going on and everything."
=="You couldn't even attack a ship, let alone two of that size with that Yacht. Even if you cold get past their barrage of cannons, how do you intend to board a ship that stands so much taller than yours?"==
 
"I could always shoot them you know. I have guns way more capable than your flintlock shit. They'll surender if I kill enough of them"
>Red huffed
=="there's still the matter of getting on board and that's assuming you get inside a range were they can't sink you with cannon fire. And you've obviously never met a Griffin if you think they'll simply give up two ships worth of slaves over a couple of downed crewmates?"==
 
"You're right, I've never met a griffin before. How are they like?"
=="Big, almost as big as you humans, big, sharp talons and a pointy beak will make short work of yer eyeballs though. They eat meat and they hate to lose. I don't think you're ready for this, Anon."==
 
"Then how do I get ready? I want to save those zebras."
=="Jaysus Anon did Savannah and Havana put these ideas into your head? I swear to the Moon I got some striped ass to kick…"==
 
"No, no. Well yes, sorta. But you said you'd back me up on it."
=="I did?"==
 
>"Yeah-hee! Anon's right, little pony dudette. You said you'll help him out."
=="Shait, I did, didn't I. Alright then. We can't sink the ships so explosions and fire magics are out of the picture. Hmm. Oh! I know. If you want I can take you to someone who knows a lot about the Griffin fleet."==
 
"Great, who is it?"
=="My ex."==
 
 
>…
 
 
 
"Your.. Ex?"
=="You sound surprised, Anon. Yes my Ex, smart guy, little nuts but he knows his stuff."==
 
"I'm still processing the fact that you, well you ponies are so human-like. It's creepy."
=="Just accept it, Anon. Besides, giant two-leggers that managed to create a society more sophisticated than ours without one of the fundamental aspects of the universe, magic. That is creepy. You're like straight out of a ponytale mothers tell their foals to scare them into being good."==
 
>Red sniffed in the air
=="That stench could also scare foals into tears, by the Moon what is that?"==
 
>you raised your arm and smelled your pit
"I haven't showered in a while."
"Gotta love those sweat glands."
 
>Red gave you a sinister look
"What do you wa-"
>with a leap Red tackled you to the ground
"What the fuck you crazy bitch!"
=="This will only take a second, Anon. Do not resist"==
 
>before you were able to orientate yourself, Red pushed you with incredible strength for her size, towards the pier and the sea below it
=="You'll get your bath Anon, just hold on!"==
 
>Red said in a mocking manner
>the people you were previously sitting with watched in entertainment
>Red charged at you for a final push
>you lay your body flat and grabbed Red's fore-hooves as she rammed you
>you lifted her fore-hooves up in the air causing Red to overshoot her target and launch towards the water like a speeding bullet
>with a reassuring splash you knew victory was yours
>a barrage of swear words coming from Red, now soaked in water made victory all the sweeter
>you decided a bath would be nice after all but it should be on your terms
>you jumped out and landed next to Red, splashing her even further
"Nice hang-time, Red."
>Red simply displayed her hoof, (if she had fingers you'd assume she was flipping you off) before laughing
=="You won't be that lucky next time, Anon."==
 
>the two of you got out of the water and told the company still sitting in the cafe to wait for the two of you
>you followed Red's lead to bring you both to her Ex
 
 
>the place was a tavern surrounded by, to your knowledge, griffins
>sign above the tavern read 'The drunken pigeon' and had an image of a Griffin downing a tankard of beer to the side of it
>they looked just like the beasts in Greek mythology with their powerful wings and feline body
>the only difference was their size, as they were considerably smaller than any griffin you've seen in fiction
=="Now. He don't much care for ponies so I can only assume he'll give you a hard time, are you sure you wanna go in with me?"==
 
 
"Sure, they're just overgrown birds."
>Red looked concerned but didn't say anything
>you entered the tavern along with Red
>even though it was only the early hours in the morning, drunk Griffins were sprawled out on the floor fighting
>if you thought the pony tavern looked shady you sure as shit didn't take this place into consideration
the place stank of death and un-washed vomit
>int a dark and gloomy corner sat a huge Griffin
>by far the biggest one here, this Griffin towered over the other patrons in the tavern
>it was hard, but if you were to estimate he was probably as tall as you
>aside from the size, this guy had a very gray beak compared to the other griffons here, sporting yellow ones
>the Griffin was surrounded by other griffins who gave you mean looks as you approached him
>this was a shitty time to remember that you left your guns at the yacht
>the griffin rose up from his seat, as did his mates
>"Settle down, men. Can't ye see it's little Red who's come to apologize?"
=="Urgh, no, Blackbeak."==
 
>you wanted to slap Red
>don't take shit from a fucking bird
>"Hehehe, that's too bad. I've missed you too, my Saddle Arabian Rose."
>the accompanying griffins sat down and continued conversation among themselves as you sat down next to Blackbeak
=="This is Anonymous, Anonymous this is Blackbeak."==
 
>you reached out a hand to the griffin but he did not respond
>"Charmed. So Red, I never took you for a collector of exotic pets. How was the afterlife treating ya? Last I heard you were swallowed by Davy Jones locker."
>his voice was very growly and intimidating, he sounded like he's been smoking at least 10 packs since birth
=="Oh blacky~, you know you won't get rid of me that easily."==
 
>Red mocked
=="And Anon is no pet, he's here to take the ships you never managed to take. the Twins."==
 
>"The slaver ships? Pah! What makes ye think this scurvy joke of a Minotaur could take on those ships?"
=="He has more that two brain-cells for a start."==
 
>dammit, Red. We're supposed to get help from this guy
>"Ahh. But can he speak, or did the crows peck out his tongue? I've been linin' to a wench talk for him this entire time."
"I'm a busy man, Captain Crunch so I'll make this quick. I've come to ask for some information regarding the ships."
>Blackbeak looked surprised
>"Well, at the very least you have balls. You could learn somethin' from this malnourished calf, Red."
>Blackbeak stomped his lion paw and his crewmates scattered
>he then moved in uncomfortably close, his breath smelling of gunpowder and death
>"If you want to take the twins I suggest ye pre-pay for a tombstone. The only way to take two Griffin ships of that size is to get the crew mad, so mad they'll make mistakes and slip up. That's when ye gut 'em, don't make them think you're able to feel fear. Then and only then they'll surrender."
"Sounds good.."
>"How many crewmates do ye got sailin' under ya, lass?"
"Um, 4, including myself."
>the giant griffin burst into laughter and smashed one of his talons into a table, breaking it in the process
>"HIAHAHAHA. Were'd ya get this joker, Red? Cause I want one!"
>Blackbeak's hysterical laughter ended with a satisfying cough
"Oh, I'm pretty confident it'll work. But I'll need the help of someone experienced with griffins."
>"And what makes ye think I'm putting my feathers on the line for a suicide plan?"
=="You're not chicken, are you?"==
 
>ohRed.jpg
>the griffin laughed again
>"So, how many cannons ye harbouring?"
"None. My Yacht doesn't have cannons on it, but Red said I could squeeze in 3 of them. What I do have is hand weapons from another dimetion. Amber at the blacksmith said it rivaled Equestrian military class."
>the griffin's eyebrow peaked
>"Tell ye what, give me 90% and I'll consider taking ye and ye crew along for a sail in a REAL ship."
"What do I get out of it?"
>"10% and the backing of a Griffin Captain and his horde. Since I'm nice I'll even trow in a chance to survive this here encounter."
 
>you weren't even sure what profit it was to be made by this
>even if you did the Equestrian currency was pretty much unknown by you
>his offer seemed fair
>but he also seemed like a shady guy, plus he's Red's ex
 
 
 
 
"Do I look like a fucking idiot? I'll need more than just 10%."
>Blackbeak frowned
>…somehow
>"What i'm offering you here is a solid deal, my men will have to do the sailin' and it's my provisions that'll keep all sailors fed and it is me ship that will be splintered when we broadside."
"What exactly do you mean by 10% What do I get, specifically?"
>Blackbeak paused
>"Ten percent that's… A tenth of the pieces o' bits."
"Somehow I don't believe you."
>"Don't let me exterior fool ye, lass. I have a heart of gold and one sixth silver."
"How much gold is stored on the Twins?"
>"Not much, my only interest is to sink those rotten piles of cancerous eye sores, personal reasons, I'm sure you understand."
"What about the slaves?"
>"Ah the slaves, you can have a talon's worth of them if you really so desire."
"What happens to the rest of them?"
>Blackbeak smiled
>again, how the fuck does he do that?
>"Why, I'll let them go of course.. To the bottom of the sea."
=="Don't you dear!"==
 
"No way, I want the slaves, every single one of them."
>"Yahahhahaharr. You'll never make it on board alone, lass. Even if you did how do you suppose you take down all the now-raging mad griffins?"
>…
"How do you griffins attack?"
>"From above, lass, from above. You'll never even see it coming until one of them snags a claw in your throat."
"What if I got inside, what if they were forced to fight under deck? You said griffins make lapses in judgment when they're mad."
>"Aye, that might work, assuming your fancy flintlocks are able to take as many as a military class weapon then ye just might stand a chance. But then you'd need the Twins to transport the slaves and thereby taking away my reason to help ye in the first place."
"What about the bits? I'll let you have all of them If I get the slaves to land safely."
>"Yer not going to make it out here with a bleeding' heart like that. No deal. The ships must be sunk and that's final."
 
"Thanks for the information, Blackbeak but I think I'll take my chances on my own."
>the griffin looked like he was about to peck your eyes out but calmed down after taking a huge breath
>"Aye, you want your own fortune and fame, lass. Tell ye what. If you somehow manage to take the ships, do me a favor and sink them after transporting the slaves. I swear on me legacy it'll be worth your wile."
"I'll consider it. What's your problem with the ships anyway?"
>"My younger brother designed them, I want all things made by that little chick at the bottom of the sea."
"Family feuds?"
>Blackbeak laughed
>"Ye could say that. Good luck, Anonymous, seven hells knows you'll need it."
>as you went to leave Blackbeak called out to you
>"Don't die on me now. the Twins aren't going to sink themselves."
 
...
 
"So, that's your ex?"
=="Awe he only puts on the tough guy attitude when in public, he's rather sweet in private."==
 
"Why'd you two break up, if you don't mind me asking?"
=="Two words anon. Barbed dick."==
"Yikes."
>you and Red returned to the table at the cafe and sat down to discuss over some food
 
"Alright you guys, I want to take those slave ships but i'm gonna need some help."
>the brony and Charles looked at you nervously
>"I'm not so sure about this, dude. Isn't this like, dangerous?"
>"He is correct, Mr Anonymous. I don't feel like I'd be good at fighting."
"Now just hold up. Remember why I want to do this. Charles. Doesn't your book say a lot about helping others? What you think the big guy in the sky would think about you if you turned a blind eye to these creatures? Maybe you were put here for a reason?"
 
"And you, pony boy. What's a life worth of sitting around rotting your brain with that shit of yours if you never accomplished anything? You worked at a fucking sports store when I first met you, do you want to end up doing that here? This is the second chance you were talking about."
 
>"...Let me hear your plan, Mr Anonymous."
"We get some fireworks or something to distract them. The Yacht doesn't have any sail, they won't be able to see it very well in the dark. After we've approached the hull we use a breaching charge to put a hole in one of the ships. When the crew are busy with clogging the hole Red and I sneak in and try to get to the captain. Captains were rarely behind the wheel in big ships back in the day when humans used such vessels. If we can get to him, and he's inside the Griffins will be forced to fight us under a roof, taking away their advantage of flight. If we get the captain to surrender in exchange for his life we're all set. If not we'll burn and fight our way through them bellow deck until they do. Here is were having modern firearms come in handy."
>"What are we supposed to do, bro?"
"You're gonna tend to the slaves and the wounded the best you can. There will likely be panic onboard but you're good with ponies."
>"And I?"
>Charles spoke up
"Do you know how to fire a rifle?"
>"Not really. I apologize."
"Then you help pony boy over here with the slaves. I'll see if I can't find someone who can that'll join us."
>>"This all sounds very dangerous, how do you plan to take the other ship?"
>Sunny inquired
"I'll bargain with them. The crew's well being in exchange for the slaves on the other boat."
>>"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then.. Then I may have to cut my losses."
>>"I understand, Anon. This is all very noble of you."
"I'll leave you guys to think about my offer, I'm going to look for a mercenary."
>your company nodded in agreement as you left the table
 
 
>now, were find someone that can handle a rifle and is willing to do pick a fight with griffins?
>a tavern might be a start
>maybe ask Amber if she knows of anyone who's recently bought weapons?
>perhaps bumping into someone at the marketplace will yield results?
 
 
 
>you decide to hit up Amber the blacksmith for information
>the day was still young so you had the time
>you moseyed on over to her shop to find her just finishing up transactions with a customer
" Amber. I was wondering if you knew about a mercenary able to use military-like rifles who can sail out with me today."
>"Woah woa woah Anon. At least say 'hi!' first."
"Sorry, I'm kinda focused right now."
>"Tis alright, hmm… I'd go myself but I have the shop to take care of. Oh! I know. There's this Minotaur, not the talkative type. Heard he was involved with that sort of stuff earlier. He came to me to purchase a set of vases."
"You make vases?"
>"I make lots of stuff."
"Alright, were do you think I can find him?"
>Amber gave you the address to the Minotaur on a note
>you grabbed the note and started looking for him
 
>after a while of searching through confusing pony architecture you came up to a small house outside of the buzzing city
>you knocked
>no response
>you knocked again
>still no response
>as the thought of leaving hit you, the door opened
>in front of you stood a massive, brown Minotaur
>you immediately take back the theory that everything is smaller in Equestria
>he had a bulging muscle mass for an upper torso and arms under his brown coat
>and hooves for legs, surprisingly tiny and meek compared to the absolute monster of masculinity that made up the rest of him
>this guy stood almost 3 meters, not including the pointy, thick horns on top of his head
>"*Sort*"
"H-heyy. Amber said I might find you here, you know Amber, the gal you bought those vases from?"
>"*Snort*"
"Yeah…"
>what the fuck
>was he mute or something?
"Mind if I come in?"
>"*Snort*"
>the minotaur closed the door on you
>you leaned towards the door, raising your voice
"Wait! It's about a job! Amber said you had some experience in military rifles!"
>"*SNOOORT!*"
"It's for a good cause!"
>"*Snort?*"
"Griffins have taken a bunch of zebras captured. I want to try to free them but I need help."
 
>"*Snort.*"
>the minotaur opened the door and gestured you come inside
"Nice house."
>his little house looked to be inspired directly off Mr. Rogers' house
>"*Snort.*"
>the minotaur motioned for you to sit down in one of his chairs in the living room
"Thanks."
>"You're welcome."
"Oh. So you do talk?"
>you saw the minotaur taking offense
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. My name is Anon."
>"Nice to meet you."
"I came to you because, well, as I said I needed help."
>"Tell me what you want."
>the minotaur was extremely calm and collected in his tone of voice
"I'm planing to take two ships. The problem is that I want the cargo- slaves onboard safe. Therefore I am going to board them. I'm… not from here so I do have a couple of neat toys that'll make this possible, even with my low number of men."
>"How many?"
"Four. Myself included, two to enter and two to take care of the prisoners."
>"Too few. What ship?"
"Not big enough to carry the zebras onboard, but small enought to get in past cannon range without being detected."
>"Won't work. They'll notice the sails."
"This ship doesn't need sails."
>the minotaur paused for a second as if surprised
>"Go on."
"If everything goes according to plan I can take one ship and use it to bargain with to get the captured all the captured out."
>"What do you need me for?"
"I want you to help, either in breaching or defending my ship should it be detected."
>"What can I do against a ton of angry griffons?"
"Is what Amber said about you having training with military rifles true?"
>"… What can I do against a ton of angry griffons?"
>don't step on his nerves, Anon!
"An SKS. A weapon from my world. It holds 10 bullets that can be fired semi automatically before needing to reload and it's very accurate compared to what you poni- Equestrians have. They won't expect such firepower from a single person."
>"Powerful?"
"Enough to stop a griffon and the 3 other griffons behind it."
>you saw the tiniest hint of a smile pass the cheeks of the minotaur
>"Pay?"
>you hold a sack of bits over his coffee table and wiggle it
"I hope this is enough, I don't know anything about this world's currency."
>"Deal"
>well that was fast
"No more questions? You don't wanna know who's coming with you or what our ship runs on, nothing?"
>"Irrelevant."
"Alright then, meet me at the docks before sundown."
>"Deal."
>you shook his hand and headed back for the docks
>personally Minotaurs were fast approaching your favorite Equestrian species this far
>straight to the point with that guy
 
>walking back you see that Red was managing a ton of food and a few explosives
>she must have taken care of the provisions while you were gone
=="Alright, Anon. your human friends have decided to join us. We can leave once your merc arrives. Do you have any unfinished business to attend to before we leave or are you good?"==
 
 
"Hey, red. I want some extra explosives in case things go haywire."
=="You can make some molotovs from the rum we already got on the Yacht, you want anything more then that you'll have to talk with Amber==."
 
"I only thought she had metal stuff?"
=="She makes lots of stuff."==
 
>you head off to Amber once more
>the mare greeted you with a wave of the hoof and a smile
>"Can't get enough of me, anon?"
"Hi Amber. I need some explosives."
>"Red already bought what she said you guys needed."
"I need more explosives."
>Amber's smile widened
>"Well I usually don't stock a lot of the things that go boom, now with Red almost emptying me out even less so. But I'll check out back just for you!"
>you saw the unicorn mare walk into what you could only assume was a storage
>loud sounds of items crashing down to the grown as Amber looked through her stuff could be heard
>"Got it!"
>Amber brought out a couple of items using her weird ass horn magic
>you don't think you'll ever get used to that
>"Here we are, a couple of bricks of magically charged explosives."
"Describe them for me, I'm new to this whole magic thing."
 
>Amber displayed a couple of perfectly round balls made out of polished silver
>"These are cool. They'll roll until they notice anything living before they blow up."
 
>moving to the other items, Amber showed you a couple of bricks of what you assumed to be c4
>"These are Saddle Arabian made, they're designed to release a force field around the user to protect them from a blast, they're mainly used for ponies to get out of cave-ins though, never rightfully heard of anypony using them as weapons."
 
>Amber picked up what looked like a continuous knot of vines hurdled together as a ball
>"And these, these are forged up north, you can use them as regular grenades but were they shine is that the content will heal minor injuries to anypony within their vicinity. They're also wearable, but I don't think they'll work on anyone without magic flowing in their veins."
"How do you know I have no magic?"
>"A unicorn always knows, Anon. These here protrusions make decent magic detectors."
>Amber lightly tapped her horn
"I'll take it."
>"Really Anon? You'll make me rich in no time! Don't die, you're good for business."
"Noted."
>you parted ways with Amber and met up with the others
>your Minotaur had arrived in your absence and Red was currently trying to make light conversation
=="So, how's life treating you?"==
>"*Snort.*"
=="Aha, the wife and kids?"==
>"*Snort!*"
=="I see.. Well, why would you be in this field of work if you had any, ammirite?"==
>"*Snoooorrt.*"
>Red turned around to greet you
=="Oh hey, Anon. Nice bull you picked out."==
 
"Thanks."
"So you all ready to go now?"
 
"Fuck yeah I am!"
>Red hopped in excitement
=="That's the spirit, Anon! Let's go roast us some chickens!"==
 
 
 
>Charles and Sunny hugged as they say their goodbyes
>>"Be safe, Charles, Celestia's light guide you safely back to port so we can have our discussions again."
>as you raise anchor you hear someone shout at you in the distance
>"Waaaaaiiit! Anon you idiot, idiot, idiot! you forgot your moistbaerg!"
>Amber came running towards your Yacht and used her telekinesis to trow the shotgun onboard along with the modified harpoons
>Jesus you're so stupid, anon, you need to get your brain examined one of these days
"THANKS AMBER!"
>"YA'LL BE SAFE NOW YOU HEAR?!"
"I WILL!"
>Amber opened her saddlebag and tossed another item onboard
>inspecting it, it was a dagger covered in rose ornaments
>"FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD CUSTOMER!"
"I APPRECIATE IT!"
>"WHAT?!"
"I SAID! I APPRECIATE IT!"
>Amber's yells turned dull as you sailed further out so you resorted to waving
>in the distance you could just make out her waving back
"Hey, Red. did you include a map with the supplies?"
=="Do you paint me a landlubber, Anon?"==
 
>Red retrieved a map from one of her many pockets attached to her harness and rolled it out on a table in the Yacht
=="The fool of a bartender was wrong, it's a couple of days almost straight East, not South"==
 
>you checked the compass in the ship's dashboard to confirm course
"Guess we'll have to spend at least one can of gas on this trip. That leaves one remaining."
=="Did I ever tell you how nice this ship is, Anon?"==
"No?"
=="It's a very fine vessel, the way it moves over the seas without needing the winds to carry it. I think we should keep her."==
"Who said I won't keep her?"
=="You're implying it by not naming her. My last ship was named 'The Crippled Midget'. Sorry sight she was, but she brought me and my crew a lot of joy throughout her life."==
"What happened to her, the ship I mean?"
=="Well probably in pieces now, ain't she? It was with her I met the storm."==
 
"And your crew?"
>Red paused
=="I hope they're alright. I'd like to think so. I believe things happen for a reason, makes things easier."==
"I hope they're alright too. Do you know were they might be?"
=="Havana, most likely. Ahh I just hope they didn't get themselves in trouble."==
>"Cheer up Red."
>the brony spoke
=="I'm sorry, this is not a time to mutter about."==
>"You're right, hey Anon, bro. Are we there yet?"
"These maps are weird, we'll be there in 5 to 10 days. I'm assuming."
>"Oh man! How are we going to pass the time? Oh I know!"
>the brony displayed a bag of green and a pipe
>"Wanna get high? There's no reason not to, we're at open seas and we'll come down way before we'll reach there."
 
 
"No thanks. I'm good."
>"C'mon man, it's good shit."
"I said no."
>"Are you sure?"
"Yes, not right now, maybe later."
=="I'll have some."==
>"Oh? Sure little dudette."
>Red and the brony lit up the pipe and took turns passing it around
>the Minotaur and Charles ignored them
=="Hey, Minotaur, I don't think I got your name."==
>"Does it matter to you?"
"Yes. I want to know my crew's names."
>"Is that so? My name is Tyren."
"Alright Tyren. I won't bother you anymore."
>"Thank you."
"Hey, Charles. Do you mind taking the wheel? I want to get some reading done."
>"Uh, sure, Mr Anonymous. East you said?"
"Yeah."
=="Trusting the wheel of your own ship to your crewmates? Giving a shit about what they're named? You'll make a fair captain if we survive this thing, Anon."==
"Thanks, Red."
>you walked down to the bedroom were most of your stuff was stored, sprawled out on the floor
>you brought your shotgun and put it on the bed
"Hmm, these things are attached with rope."
>could be used for boarding if they actually work
>you collected all the ammunition and stared counting
>too messy, you should clean up after yourself
>the ammo you purchased from the gun shop back home was still untouched
>you wrote down all your possessions on a piece of paper to keep track on your stuff
> http://pastebin.com/EHr8tbci
 
>now that that's over with you pulled out your laptop
>no internet
>no shit
>you had a couple of books here
>more than a couple
>Jesus, that's a lot of eBooks
>you're pretty sure that if you could think of just about any book you'd find it in this huge PDF pack
>you also had the time to do some reading
>you might learn something from these books before the encounter with the Griffins, so that's nice
 
>you figure reading a bit about pirates from back home might be interesting
>Blackbeard, Francis Drake, Sir Henry Morgan
>you copy/paste some pieces into a document for later
>now to dig up some books about Naval Warfare
>you knew how to sail, but fighting was another thing entirely
 
>'The Price of Admiralty' and 'Nelson: Britannia's God Of War' ought to do the trick
>you knew a bit about griffin mythology from vidya back home that might come in useful
>considering you're gonna assault griffin ships
>from what you've seen from Blackbeak's griffons they were far from regal, guardians of the divine
>maybe human fictional characters do not directly translate to real Equestrian creatures
 
>with the pieces of information you wanted saved onto the document you figure you might as well chill with the others
>instead of sitting here all by yourself
>you pack the laptop under your arm and move up deck
 
=="Heya Anon, you decided to join us?"==
"Yeah, I found what I needed"
>"Want a hit, dude?"
"Eh, fuck, sure, whatever."
>"Yeahehe! Here you go man."
>you inhaled the narcotics and held them in your lungs for a while before exhaling
"Pretty nice."
>"Yeah, dude. Top shelf stuff right here."
>Both the brony and Red's eyes were way pinker than usual
=="Come, come, sit."==
>you sat down on the couch next to Red
>"I'll roll one for you, Anon."
"Oh that won't be necessary i-"
>Red gently kicked you in the hip while smiling
"Alright, pony boy."
>the brony rolled one up for you and lit it up
>you took the joint and tried it out
"Is quite good actually, no seeds or anything. Hey ponyboy. I think I might have a new name for you."
>"Really?"
"Norville Rogers. Piraty and stonery at the same time."
>"I was thinking more in the lines of 'Crimson wave' or 'cotton pony'."
"That's slang for pads and periods, you're Norville. "
>"It is? Damn man. Alright, Norville it is."
 
 
 
>you fliped up the laptop and Red promptly closed it
=="Not now, Anon."==
"But I want to get some reading done."
=="Don't be queer, Anon. Enjoy our company instead."==
"Fine, Mom."
>Red giggled
>you put the laptop away and look around for some Morgan
"Have you seen my rum, Red?"
=="Oh, I kinda drank it all last night."==
"Red…"
=="Don't worry, Anon. We still got some rum from the sunken ship."==
 
"Was it any good, I can't remember if I tried it."
=="Then you haven't tried it, here."==
 
>Red rested her joint in the ashtray and found some moonshine jugs and placed them on the table
=="It's guuud."==
 
"I'll take your word for it."
>you placed the tip of the jug to your lips and downed a gulp
>after a barrage of funny faces and coughing you spoke up
"It's shit, Red! It tastes like old tub water and rat poison!"
=="Hahahahaha! Holy moon you actually downed a whole gulp?!"==
"What the fuck is this shit?"
=="The cheapest, strongest rum you'll get! It tastes awful but it gets the job done."==
"Well count me out then, I'll stick to this fire over here."
=="More rum for me."==
>Red took a swing and sighed
=="Ahhh Ride that flame."==
"I've been meaning to ask you something, Red."
=="Yes, Anon?"==
"When we attack those slave ships I want to pull a Blackbeard."
=="I don't know anyone onboard with a black beard for you to pull."==
"No, I mean I want to really fuck with the griffins, psyche them out or something, scare them."
=="Aha?"==
"Do you ponies have any demons or spooky things that look like us humans that'll do? Seamen are very superstitious after all."
>well, here in Equestria they had every reason to be but still
=="I don't think so, Anon. Closest thing is a Minotaur and we already have one 'a those. Ah but you're way to scrawny to dress up like a Minotaur anyways."==
 
"Gee, thanks."
=="You're furless though, that's kinda weird. Maybe try something using that to your advantage?"==
 
"Yeah, maybe."
>you puff some more weed
>god, you feel like such a 16 year old
>mental reminder to get a straw pipe instead
=="Hey, Rodgers. This weed is a little… Magic-less"==
>"You mean there's magic weed out there?!"
=="Yeah, well, it's normal marijuana in Equestria. so I'm assuming it has some magical kick in it."==
"Like everything around here?"
=="Hehe, yeah."==
>you smoked some more
>hmm, really nice
>"Holy shit dude! I need me some of that!"
=="If we live, i'll find you some, promise."==
>"Ah, you're a lifesaver, Red. Hey, you want something, big man?"
>Tyren lust looked at Rogers plainly
>"No."
>"Are you sure, dude?"
>"Yes."
"Don't bother him, Rogers, if he doesn't want any-"
>"Alright, alright, strong silent type, I get it."
=="Hey, you guys wanna have some dinner? I'm hungry."==
 
"Sounds good. What did you buy?"
=="Apples! Like the guy in the pirate movie."==
 
>Red got through a sack filled with food items and pulled out a bunch of apples
=="Mhhhmhhh! Juicy!"==
 
>you took a bite
=="Now that you've mentioned it there is a… special flavor to it."==
"That's the magic alright!"
"Is this stuff even good for humans?"
=="I don't know, you should have visited a doctor in Neighssau."==
"Probably, I'm getting a headache from the stuff."
>"Not me, man. I'm too enlightened for physical distress."
>you tossed an apple to Charles
"You try it.."
>"They're good, but I feel it too, Mr. Anonymous."
"Interesting. If we get internal cancer boils I blame you, Red."
=="Cool with me. Anon."==
>the uneventful dinner went along fine
>you, Red and Rogers chatted for a while
>it didn't take long until you were both full and high
>well, Red and Rogers mostly
>you stuck to one single joint
>you didn't feel like trowing up like a bitch
>unlike Rodgers, who totally did
>moron
 
 
"Well you guys, it's getting late. How about a little shuteye?"
=="Sounds good, Anon. Hehe, I'm ready to to bed."==
>Tyren had gone to sleep on one of the couches
>Charles went to be in another one
"Bed is mine."
=="Nuh-uh. Mine."==
>Jesus, she sounded high
"Forget it, Red. Sleep on the carpet or something."
=="Shuvuh be an ass anon."==
>Rodgers had passed out in his sitting position
>you walked over to the bedroom
>getting undressed you hid under the blanket
>sweet, comfy bed
>best bed
>as you were about to enter the world of dreams you heard a shambling set of hooves approach
"Fuck off, Red. My bed."
=="Muh-huh, gimme rooms"==
 
"No."
>Red crawled into the bed, despite your stoned effort to kick her down
=="Big enough bed for both, anon. C'mon. Don't be a shiiiit hehehehe."==
>you eventually give up and let her in
=="Anon, more blanks."==
"There's two blankets, you ass."
=="I want two blankets."==
"You're tiny as shit. I need the blankets more than you do."
 
>you turned around to face her
"You know you're really annoying when you're high."
=="Phht hehehe you're a stiff stick in the mud."==
 
"I don't gi-"
=="Ve a shit. Hahahaha! You're so fucking predictable!"==
"Whatever, let's just go to bed. "
>Red blinked
=="You're not mad, are you?"==
"No, I'm fine. Sorry I got angry at you."
=="No, no. I like that you're honest with me."==
"Fine then."
=="You're nice, Anon."==
"Go to bed, Red."
=="You're bed, Red."==
>you ignored her weed induced nonsense and closed your eyes
>it didn't take more than 10 minutes until Red tried wrapping herself around you in her sleep
>oh Christ, she's drooling
>whatever, you were too tired to give a shit
>it wouldn't be the first time you've made physical contact with a pone/zebra
>and she was pretty soft
>a little weird since you knew Red, in contrast to the whores
>nevertheless you decided to return the hug
>the purely platonic
>with Red at your side you fell asleep easy enough
>pretend she's a stuffed animal, anon
>a stuffed animal that breathes
 
 
 
 
 
 
>in a shadowy space filled with wooden pillars seemingly stretching endlessly into the night sky you heard a creek
>you patted yourself down to find your guns
>noguns
>lame
>you walked forward, not knowing what to expect or what to find
>the ground felt like heavy sand but was impossible to lift or separate
>it was like you stood in the night sky
>there, along one of the columns you saw something
>you went to investigate when you saw the shadowy figure leap from one pillar to the next
>it was white, ivory white and looked like a man
>it was too fast to make out details
"Hello?"
>it whispered in tongues, an impossible language seemed to ooze from it's lunges from behind it's hiding place
"I'm sick of this shit, come out you asshole."
>some naked, groutesque man… thing stepped forth
>his skin looked off with the shock-white contrasting against his muscles as he approached you
>the face of the creature in front of you sported a pair of unnaturally small eyes and pitch black ink splats around each one, bleeding onto the skin
>he moved, weird, like he was riding some sort of force not seen by you
>you caught a glimpse of his teeth
>almost transparent at times, his upper jaw was filled with irregular, sharp fangs, resemble more fishbones than actual teeth
>wait…
Fish-bones?
>pale body paint?
>black spots around the eyes?
>you could totally pull off that look!
"Hey nightmare asshole! Jokes on you, you just gave me a great idea!"
>and upon realizing it was but a dream, the creature dissolved back into your subconscious as you woke up
>this must be how ponies see you
>furless with muscle visible just under the skin
>tiny eyes
>sharp teeth
>only taller
>Jesus you must look awful to a pone
 
>you opened your eyes from the spooky, weed induced nightmare
>Red was facing her back towards you, having rolled away in her sleep
>the fucking bitch had somehow managed to take not one, but two blankets off you in her sleep
>thieving asshole
>gees, you must have been higher than you thought to have let her into your bed
>you got up and brought a couple of fresh clothes topside with you
>Charles was still sleeping, same with the brony
>Christ, did you make up a name for him last night?
>you're suddenly reminded of why drugs are bad
>first cuddling with ponies and now this shit
>Norville, was it?
>how did you even come up with that?
>eh, i doesn't matter
>you plunge into the water, washing the shame from yesterday away
>Tyren was up
"Morning, Tyren."
>"Hmm."
>Tyren was observing his surroundings, it encouraged you to do the same
"No sharks in the water around these parts, right?"
>"Sharks? Maybe. Worse than sharks? Yes."
"Like what?"
>"Ask your woman."
"Hey buddy, Red's not my woman."
>Tyren let out an amused exhale
"What's so funny? I don't pay you to be a cheeky cunt, I got Red on my ass doing that for free."
>you got up from the water as Tyren spoke up
>"With those bits you offered me, you're lucky you get even that."
"What, it wasn't enough?"
>"Let me ask you one question Captain. Have you ever won a battle?"
"I have a decent win ratio in Red Orchestra."
>"A man should never fight for glory. And the coin you've given is… Little."
"Then why did you join up?"
>"Does it make a difference?"
"Not really bu-"
>"It's settled then."
"Alrighty, then. Thanks for joining me, by the way."
>"Let's sit on the gratefulness until after we have won. Yes?"
"Oh, OK."
>what a guy
>probably the most you've gotten out of that minotaur since you met
 
>you looked around in Red's food bag for an apple
>as you bite into it you feel it again
>damn magic, best stay out of your body if it knew what's good for it
>could you kill magic?
>you'd have to ask Red about that one
>speak of the devil
>you took another bite of the apple as you saw a miserable Red walk out of the bedroom
=="Water…"==
"All that weed and booze made you dehydrated, Red?"
=="Huhhh."==
>Red stuck her head inside the bag and came out again with an apple in her mouth
>her mane was a mess
>worse than it usually is
>you couldn't help but enjoy her self-inflicted misery
>Red then continued by dumping her head in the ocean
>you could see air bobbles blop out as she drank down
"I don't think saltwater's gonna help with that thirst, Red."
=="It's not"==
"What?"
=="Are you deaf? It's not salt water."==
"So, you mean to tell me, your open bodies of water are fresh, drinkable?"
=="Urgh. For fuck's sake yes, Anon. Now stop talking."==
>she was really pissy this morning
>Red crawled up next to you and laid her head in your lap
=="Fix my back or I'll cut you."==
 
>you drove one hand down her withers all the way to her loins
>using your thumb and your proximal phalanx you gently kneed her spine all the way down
>Red made some approving horse noises
>Tyren looked at you, an 'I told you so' look on his face hidden behind his regular stoic demeanor
>you worded out 'Fuck you' with your lips without actually saying it, allowing Red to get some peace and quiet
 
>you should probably do something today, the slaver ships were still 4-9 days away
 
 
 
"Hey,Rodgers."
>"ZZZzzzZZ"
"Rodgers!"
>you hissed
>"Huh, who? Oh what's up, anon?"
"Mind taking the wheel?"
>"Really? I though you liked driving this thing around."
"I do, but I kinda got my hands full over here."
>your voice was still hushed as to not bother Red
>poor gal's got enough to deal with
 
>Rodgers looked at Red laying in your lap and connected the dots
>"Oh, yeah man sure."
"And if you spot an island I need to visit it real quick."
>"Mind if I ask why?"
"I'm gonna grind me some seashells, maybe find some tar or something and make a fishing rod."
>"You do what you gotta do, Anon. Some rite of passage or something?"
"Not really, you'll see."
>Norville started up the engine and started driving towards the slaver ships
>you were on course once more as Charles started shifting in his sleep
>you must have woken him with all your talking
>oh well, it's about time he got up anyways
 
 
>a couple of hours past as you simply enjoyed the wind in your hair and the 10/10 Equestrian sun
>even at it's strongest it didn't seem to give you sunburns either
>maybe it lacks the ultraviolet rays that causes sunburns back home?
>you shutter to imagine what other types of radiation you're being blasted with instead
 
"Hey, Red. You feel better?"
=="MmHm. Sorry for bursting out at you like that, Anon. I'm really bad with hangovers."==
"I figured as much."
=="So, who's sailin- Oh, Rodgers, you know how to steer this thing?"==
 
>"There's nothing to it, Red. You just aim at what direction you want on the compass and, like, let the boat do the rest of the thinking."
=="Dammit Anon, why are your boats so easy? I feel jealous, Back when I sailed with the 'Crippled Midget' I had the whole crew chip in to make her go. You humans only need one guy, a guy that, according to him, let's the boat take care of the thinking."==
"It sounds fucking retarded, Red. I know but this thing has a bunch of tech inside it that let's it do that. Just ask Charles and he'll tall you a bunch of techno babble about it."
=="Can you explain it, without techno babble, Charles?"==
>"Eh, it has a thing that makes it sway less int the water, it also has a thing that measures depth sot it'll warn Mr. Norville should he come close to hitting the sea floor."
>"No 'sir' or 'Mr.' for me, dude. I can't stand that preppy blue collar talk. I mean, no offence, dude."
>"Oh, none taken, Rodgers."
>"It's cool, dude. Hey Anon. How'd you come up with that name, dude?"
"You don't like it?"
>"I like the Rodgers part, but the whole 'Norville ' deal sounds a bit off, I guess it just takes some getting used to."
"I honestly don't know, Rodgers, it just sorta came to me."
>"It's cool, man. I get revelations all the time. Hey, there's an Island to the… uhh."
"Starboard bow?"
>"Yes, stars. You said something about needing seashells?"
 
>grinding them up to a fine dust to late make into bodypaint was your idea
>there's probably some black stuff for you to smear into your eyes as well
>the island was densely populated by flora so making a fishing-rod should be a breeze
 
>you were about to give the order when Red spoke up
=="Remember when I told you about islands that were off the map, you'll never know what you'll find on those. If you want to check it out, be quick about it and be careful. I don't want you mauled by something out there, not now."==
 
 
 
"I'll be careful, Red. Why don't you come with me and cover my ass?"
=="I'm…. not really up for it right now, Anon. My tummy feels awful, just the thought of doing anything makes me wanna puke."==
 
>could horses even puke?
"Tyren, how about you?"
>"Is that a question, or an order?"
"A question, i'll just be sticking to the shore, mostly."
>the minotaur sighed and grabbed your SKS
>"Let's get this over with."
"Do you know how to use that thing?"
>"Maybe we'll find out."
>that's not reassuring
 
>Norville turned course and anchored just outside the shore
>it was shallow enough for you and Tyren to sea-walk the rest of the way there
>you held your shotgun over your head as to not get it wet, Tyren followed suit with the SKS
>the island's beaches were covered in white sand, looking out the beautiful Equestrian waters
>a stone trow away, your view were covered by rich foliage and jungle
>truly an island paradise
>you start looking for the seashells
>it didn't take you long to find a vast amount of alien looking shells
>truly these shells were exclusive to Equestria, as you've never heard of anything similar on Earth
>you start harvesting shells in your handy potato sack as Tyren kept watch
"These are some pretty big shells."
>"*Snort.*"
"I wonder what made them."
>"Bottom feeders."
>if these were the bottom feeders you didn't want to bump into what ever used them as a food source
"There we go, I don't need as many shells since they're so big."
>"Done?"
"Not yet, I need some tar."
>"No tar here."
"Oh? Do you know anything I can use as a black coloring agent?"
>"Not from here, but. Try that fruit over there."
"Fruit?"
>you looked up to one of the trees and what resembled white coconuts hang attached to the palm-like trees
>you aim your shotgun but held your fire as you realized it'll probably shred the melon at this range
"Hand me the SKS, Tyren."
>the bull obliged and you took aim and fired off a few rounds
>3 melons fell down to the ground and you hurriedly picked them up in your bag
>as you were about to leave you heard a rustle in the bushes
>"We should go, shouldn't have fired your rifle, noise attracts predators."
>the rustling intensified as the two of you decided against waiting for whatever lay behind the tree line
 
=="Got what you needed?"==
>Red greeted the two of you as you got back into the yacht
"Yeah."
=="You didn't encounter anything, right?"==
>to your surprise Tyren spoke up
>"Indian flat monster, mother upset over Anon's carelessness use of firearms."
=="Jaysus, it didn't pounce, did it?"==
>"Too slow, got got out in time."
"Wait, wait, wait, did you see it, Tyren? And what the fuck is an Indian flat monster?"
>"Yes."
=="An Indian flat monster is a huge, insane, half-decayed, bipedal sheep. It's carnivorous and very territorial. Bullets wouldn't help much, it usually needs to be contained via magical means, or, ponies dump them on islands were they can't hurt anypony."==
"Oh. Well shit, got lucky then."
>"Luck runs out..."
>Red nodded
"Alright, sorry, Tyren, I shouldn't have done that but I didn't know."
>"Noted."
>Norville raised ancor and you were soon back on course
=="Didn't you want a fishing rod as well, Anon?"==
 
"Yeah but I just realized I could make one here."
>"Oh, how so?"
 
"You'll see."
 
 
>you tied a piece of string around your SKS and attached a piece of..
>wait
>you needed b8
"Got something fleshy in that bag of yours, Red?"
=="A dick in my whatnow?"==
>urgh
"No, do you bring some meat? I want to fish."
=="Oh? Sure, there's some dried meat I brought along, I figured since preferred vegetarians are in the minority here you guys would enjoy that."==
"Wow, thanks, Red."
=="Don't mention it, Anon."==
>Red grabbed an apple as you skillfully tied the dried meat to the string and looked at you funny
"What?"
=="It's just weird that you guys eat meat. You don't look like predators."==
"That's rich, coming from a grass eater."
=="Oh no, I didn't mean it like that."==
 
>Red said, lying through her teeth
=="It's just that, well, Griffins have sharp talons and beaks, Minotaurs are built like beefy tanks and you're kinda, just…"==
"Just what?"
=="Well, you don't have any sharp fangs, pointy claws or huge muscles or anything, how did you guys catch pray before those guns of yours anyway? Did you just eat veggies and dead things?"==
 
"We used our brains."
=="Brains?"==
 
"I know it's a foreign concept to you, Red but yes, we did. Early man used sharp sticks instead of claws, the hides of other animals to compensate for our lack of coats and we branded together in hunting. A gang of humans could take down pray way bigger than themselves, like woolly mammoths because they cooperated."
=="I find that hard to believe."==
 
"It's true. We used to stalk pray until it died of exhaustion or simply gave up."
=="That's a cheep and… Pretty horrifying tactic. But your legs aren't exactly big or anything, and no offence but you look pretty squishy next to Tyren over here."==
 
>"*Snort*"
"They're not built for speed, Red. Two long legs are way more energy efficient than four stumpy ones. And about the squishyness. Well. Eh, kinda, but not really."
=="Well now you got me curious, Anon."==
 
"We'll die to a well placed bash in the head or heavy laceration but if we don't, our body is generally able to heal itself. I'd like to think we got a tough immune system but then again, I don't know how you ponies handle diseases, nor how much abuse you can take so I don't have anything to compare it to so it'll make sense to you."
=="Yeah.. We should probably get you checked out one of these days, never really thought of it but it's kinda interesting. The magic in the air seems to be killing you slowly anyway so if we see shore again I'm taking you to the vet. Do you still feel it?"==
"Yeah, it's a mild gnawing sensation in the back of my head, it's worst when I eat Equestian food."
=="Hmm, you'll be alright for the boarding act though, yes?"==
"Hasn't killed me yet, though I wonder why no one else here gets it, Charles, do you have it?"
>"No, I did back at the temple but it's worn down since then, Mr. Anonymous."
"Weird."
=="You could say that again, maybe you're allergic to magic?"==
"Could be, I have no clue."
>you feel your SKS-fishing rod pull
"Oh shit, the bait worked!"
>quickly realizing that you have no way to pull it in besides your hands you get to work
"Ha ha! Stupid fucking fish, he totally fell for it!"
=="Anon, that was a pretty big bait you placed on the-"==
"I've got you now, motherfucker!"
you pull with all your might, nearly ripping the skin on your hands in the process
>out of the see flailed an ugly ass catfish
=="PULL IT IN, ANON!"==
>Red announced ecstatically
"Fucking help me instead of shouting you bitch!"
>Red grabbed the line with her teeth and helped you pull the squiggly beast onboard
"Yeahe! Highfive, Red!"
>Red cocked her head and looked at you funny
>no hands
"…High hoof?"
>Red bumped your palm with her fore-hoof and smiled
=="High five my ass, as if. Great job, Anon. You got it!"==
"Yeah, ugly motherfucker, isn't it?"
=="Indeed, I don't see how you guys can look at… that and think 'yum, food'."==
 
>that reminds you
"Hey, Red. How did you ponies live before you built a civilization, before your magic?"
=="Before our magic? I don't think we ever were without magic, if we were it hasn't been recorded in history to my knowledge."==
"Well, what's the farthest back your history goes?"
=="That has to be… the three pony tribes. Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth ponies were pretty hostile towards each-other way back when, that was the pre-Celestian Age, pre-Discordian even, when beings, things not of our understanding, or possibly our world ruled the land and sea."==
"Sounds cool, tell me more."
=="I'm really not the right mare to talk about these sorts of things but I'll try. The three tribes were trowing a bitchfit and frequently snapped at eachothers necks all the time, until a couple of wendigo spirits decided to pull a big freeze, offing off most of the villagers and peasants. the noble elite of the three tribes banded together a last ditch effort to rid themselves of the wendigos and succeeded, it was then the three different types of ponies learned how to not hate eachother's guts and get along. There's some debate still about exactly how they did it but, they did, and that's the part that matters."==
"So you guys needed a near extinction in order to not act like little shits?"
=="Heh, you could say that, I heard that tale is popular in Equestria proper, they even make little plays of it, i'll be it with way less independing extinction going on. But, looking away from that, our pasts aren't too different. We banded together in order to defeat evil spirits and you guys banded together to kill hairy elephants."==
 
"Jolly cooperation."
=="Dead on."==
 
>Red yawned
=="Well, I'm going to sleep off the rest of this hangover, if you want we could visit a scribe when we get back to civilization, should you have more questions. They'd be glad to tell you every boring detail about Equestrian history."==
 
"Sweet dreams, Red."
=="Thank you."==
>Red walked back into your bedroom
 
>you should probably get to cleaning this fish
>you could also read a bit
>resting from this headache also wouldn't be a dumb idea
>you could do just about anything **lel no he can't cause Anon has no free will.**
 
 
>from what you remember you should skin catfish as quickly as possible
>heh, catfish
>with Equestria being all stupid and sentient you half-expected the fish to talk back as you cut off the fins
>the skin was hard to peal off with the fish being so fresh and slippery but you managed
>too bad you didn't bring snippers, that would make your job so much easier
>you stick your bayonet between the gills and collar bone and stwist the gills out with little stress
>now all that remained was to poke it's stomach open and gut it
>it's rib-bones were now yours
>you smirk
>that's a sentence you never thought you'd think
 
"You hungry for some catfish stew, Tyren?"
>"*Snort*"
>heh, you only asked cause you knew he wouldn't answer at this point
"How about my human compadres?"
>"That sounds interesting, Mr Anonymous, Sure!"
>"Holy shit, you can cook?"
"You can't?"
>"I can cook microwave food."
>filthy dumb brony scum
"I'll prepare it tonight. In the meantime I want to make some body paint"
>"Body paint?"
"Yeah, for taking on the griffins, real highlander shit, you know."
>"Dude, I know how to do bodypaint!"
"Great, cause I have no idea."
>"you need skin cream, cornstarch, and food coloring."
"I got seashells and and magic coconut melons."
>"Oh boy…"
 
>you and Rodgers spent an hour experimenting with what would and wouldn't work
>but in the end it did
>Rodgers had painted his face like that of a mime and made funny hand gestures to Tyren which Tyren swiftly ignored
>you however looked like the long lost member of Gorgoroth
>brutal.zip
>"So, something like this you were after?"
"Yes, this is fine. Now, I wanna talk tactics."
>"You should probably find Red, then. You're the guys going in, after all."
"Yeah, you're right."
 
 
>you walked on over to the bedroom and opened the door
"Hey, Red. Get your ass out here right now-"
>the sight that greeted you was one or Red passionately grinding against her pillow in your bed
>…juices could be seen
>Red froze in the moment, not daring to move
>her cheeks were slowly turning a shade of red that could rival her mane
 
 
 
 
=="Oh, Hi! A-anon… Hi."==
 
"You keep leaking like that and we'll sink halfway.."
=="O-oh..? This? It' just a… Umm."==
 
"You're only digging your own hole deeper by Jillin off like that.."
=="Well, there wasn't any–"==
 
"Bottlemail for you to un-cork?"
=="Now listen here, Anon. We need to-"==
 
"Call dry cleaning?"
=="…I am-"==
 
"In a sticky situation?"
=="AH-NOOON!"==
 
"Woah there, calm down, Red. I'm sure we can air out the dirty laundry here. I'd stop playing around with your nerves but it seems you already did."
>Red simply whinnied and hid her face underneath the covers in utter defeat of your brutal PUNishment
"Meet me topside when you're done horsing around."
 
>a frustrated, embarrassed neigh coming from underneath the covers harrowed your flawless victory as you went back to the others
 
 
>"How was Red, Anon?"
"She was doing fine."
>"Good, I was afraid all that booze had done her in."
"Nah, she's a sturdy, rocking horse."
>"Uh, what now?"
"Nevermind."
Holy shit, I'm so sorry.
 
>it didn't take longer than a few minutes for Red to compose herself enough to come out of hiding
>you acted like nothing had happened
>"Hey, Red!"
=="Yeah, hi."==
 
>"Anon wanted to discuss his plans for the boarding act."
>you could see Red's pleading eyes, imploring you to not tell anyone
=="Well then, let's hear it. The plan that is."==
 
"We'll sneak our way through the cover of darkness when they least expect it. There, we will slither our way around their docile form, looking, longing for their weak spot. Then! We strike, a fiery explosion will make their knees feel like jelly as we come inside their hull."
>Red was fuming
>you could probably cook eggs on her face at this point
"Once inside we won't pull out until we've freed our men and plundered all their booty."
>"Sounds good but, any more."
=="Yes. Anon. Was there any more or are you done?"==
 
>100% Mad
 
"I think we can go through the details now. Red and I board first, take out anyone resisting near the slave pens, Charles, Rodgers, you sneak in behind us and free them, when the coast is clear. Tyren, you stay with the boat and defend it. If Charles or Rodgers are in danger you leave your post to retrieve them, alright?"
>"Alright."
"Now, if everything goes according to plan we'll be in the captain's cabin with minimal effort and 'persuade' him to leave the ships with him and his crew in lifeboats alive."
"And if that doesn't work?"
 
"We contact the other ship that we have their captain hostage and tell them their jobs aren't worth their life. If they respond hostile, we already have one ship, fitted with cannons at that point and a crew with plenty reason to be pissed at the griffins to run it properly."
=="So, cut our losses and broadside?"==
"We'll fish out as many survivors as we can, but this is a last-resort option."
>you clapped your hands
"Now, weapon distribution. Tyren, you take one healing grenade, some smoke bombs and the SKS, Red you handle the rest of the healing nades and the shotgun. I'll have one smoke bomb, at least, the pistol and a cutlass. Hmm. That leaves the snack-bar personal explosives and the Ruger 10/22 rifle, it has subsonic ammo and should be pretty quiet. Any of you guys want it?"
>"Sure man, griffins are assholes, i'm not some filthy featherfag."
"Feather.. fag?"
>"It's an expression, Anon. You wouldn't get it."
"I'm sure I wouldn't."
=="I'll take the snackbars! If shit goes down I'd like to singe some griffin outlines to the bow of the ship."==
"Alright alright, you'll get your snackbars. So, people, our well being comes first, if things get too hot, stake cover, go hide, don't be stupid. We got the element of surprise, let's use that to our advantage. Tyren."
>"Yes?"
"I'll teach you how to use the SKS before we arrive."
"What about me?"
 
=="You've used that thing before, besides, it's a shotgun, in small hallways, there's really no learning curve, cover your ears, maybe, but that's all I can think of."==
=="Sounds about right."==
 
 
"Alright! We're all in agreement?"
>"Yes."
>"Hell yeah, dude!"
>"I don't see another way around this."
=="Aye!"==
 
"Great, Rodgers, you take the helm, Charles, iddunow, eat something, you haven't eaten much of anything lately. Tyren, grab that SKS, we're going for some target practice. And Red."
=="Yes?"==
 
"You're the only woman on board, mind making us some catfish stew?"
=="Make your own shitty catfish stew."==
 
"Red I need to show Tyren how to use this rifle properly. You have no other tasks."
=="But I- FINE."==
 
>good Red
>didn't even have to mention her dirty little secret
>god, you hoped she washed that thing
>considering how short a time she was in there after you caught her you assume not
>Christ almighty, you better tell her to do so
>"Your lesson?"
"Oh."
>you had this problem with drifting off sometimes
"Sure, now you see that little nub at the tip there? When you look through the ring here you'll hit whatever that foresight is covering. no, no! Lean into the weapon. There we go, now, shoot some seagulls and see you you got the gist of it."
>the minotaur took aim and hit a flying seagull passing by with the first shot
>two other shots in quick succession landed him two more dead seagulls
>he's good
>you showed him how to reload and what to do in case of a jam
>he struggled a bit more with the reloading and you had to explain it several times to him before he got it
 
>by the time you were done, Red had already made dinner
>yum yum catfish grub
>you've had better
>but you didn't tell Red
>you've been hard enough on the poor thing for one day
 
>you sat down and fooled around with the bones of the fish, trying to make fake teeth
>this might take a while
>before you realized it it was nightfall and most folk around you were sleeping
>you felt a hoof on your shoulder and turned round
=="Were it any other I'd kick you off next to the nearest island and never look back."==
>Red smiled
=="But, since it's you I'll have some qualms afterwards."==
>Red tackled you playfully but with that earthpony strength to back it up
>they're stupid strong for being so small
>you doubted she was even trying her hardest
>the two of you rolled around on the deck for a bit, fighting over dominance
>eventually you managed to spread your legs once you were on top
>the length of your legs hindered Red in any further flailing
=="You know I can castrate you from here, right?"==
 
>Red playfully kicked at the air with a hind-leg
"Please don't. HEY LOOK, A WHITE WHALE!"
=="What?! Were?"==
 
>Red looked out towards the sea, that's when you made your move
>you lifted one knee and used your strategical placement to full advantage as you quickly raised off her and lay down on her again, properly trapping her hind legs as swell
>with one forehoof in each hand and hind legs in check, Red was fucked
=="What the?! Dammit, Anon! But fair, I'll give you that. Come… closer and receive your reward..."==
>you approached Red's face
=="Closer."==
 
"What the fuck do you want?"
>you moved in closer
>Red's eyelids looked heavy to you
=="Closer"==
 
>as you were face to face with the pone, Red smiled
>…!
 
>she bit you!
>the fucking bitch bit your nose!
>you grab a hold of your poor, acing nose, as you do, Red scoots out of your clutches
=="We'll call that a tie."==
 
"You cheated, you bitch!"
=="So did you, all's fair in combat."==
 
>uh fuck it
>it's getting late
>you should probably go to bed
>you get back on your feet
=="Don't get comfy, remember who'd watching your ass on that ship."==
 
"So you're watching my ass now?"
=="Oh pl-e-ase, Anon. I thought you were done with the teasing. But thanks for not telling, seriously."==
>you walked back you your bedroom
>unfortunately Red followed
"You could have put a sock on the handle you know, or done it in the bathroom?"
=="I was too tired to move, and the bed was so cozy. A mare has needs, Anon. I'm amusing the same is true for your women?"==
"Yeah it is. But they'd have the smarts to actually lock the door."
=="It was a lapse in logic, I'll admit, you could have knocked, you know."==
"I'm not knocking on the door to my own bed, if you have a problem with that you can sleep outside."
=="Fair enough."==
>you got undressed and hopped into bed
>Red followed suit
"You sleep over there."
>you pointed to the foot of the bed
=="Why?"==
"Your pillow fucking stinks, that's why."
>Red put up a fake sad face
=="Why, don't you like the eau de cologne from my marehood?"==
"Goodnight. Red."
>fucking unbelievable
 
>you heard Red snooze but had trouble sleeping yourself
>the scent of Red's 'marehood' in the room was pretty potent
>at first you had a hard time standing it but after a while…
>well, in your defense, it's been a long time since you jacked off
>even longer since you've been with a woman
>god dammit, you wanted to punch your dick for twitching it's way into a half-chub
>if Red found out she'd have a field day