Title:           Red & Anon (Anon & Red) CYOA 4
Author:          BabsZeeb
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/V65rCV9d
First Edit:      Saturday 20th of June 2015 06:28:12 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 20th of June 2015 06:28:12 PM CDT

>you woke up from an absolute gorgeous night of sleep
>man, 'o man. Lazy days sure are the best
>although you knew it wouldn't be lazy for too long
>you get out of bed and trow on a wife-beater
>not bothering with pants you head downstairs to brew yourself some coffee
>you passed Red who was laying on the couch half asleep on your way to the kitchen
"Morning Red."
=="Hmmff Mornin'."==
 
>you let her fumble around in the blankets for a while longer while the coffee was being made
>after that, you ready up two cups and walk back in the living room
>you tasted the coffee
>blacker then night time i Nigeria
>just the way you like it
"Want some coffee? Or is that a no go as well?"
>Red looked at you confused but grabbed the cup
=="What do you mean?"==
 
"Last night, you were acting up because of the sausages, remember?"
>Red gently sipped her cup
=="The sasua- Ohh yeah. I don't know how you manage to eat such filth. You know pork is littered with parasites, right?"==
 
"Not if you cook it right, and buy good pork."
=="That stuff is lethal, Anon. I don't want you getting sick."==
 
"I'm fine, really. I don't know what kinda pigs you got in Equestria but the ones you buy here at the store is pretty clean."
=="I don't know, Anon. I still don't like it."==
 
"Hey, aren't horses supposed to be vegetarian anyways?"
=="We are, mostly. There's not much hay to munch on out at sea so most seafaring ponies learn to adapt. It's a little hard to digest, but not impossible."==
 
"And do you actually like meat?"
=="Depends on how it's prepared, really. But I prefer things that grows from trees and the earth if I can help it."==
 
"Does that have anything to do with the whole earth pony thing?"
=="I don't think so, I do know some pegasi really like the taste of fish."==
 
"I see."
>you swallow a bit too much coffee i one go
>hot, too fucking hot!
"So. We got the day off to do whatever we want, got any ideas?"
=="Well, I do but..."==
 
"What?"
=="Oh, nothing. Just, what do you want to do?"==
 
>dodging the question
>Red dosen't usually do that sort of thing
"Missy, I'm not going to get mad."
=="I just. Really want a boat. Ready I mean, in case one of those magical storms come up.==
 
"How often do these storms happen?"
=="I have no idea, I can tell you that I've never seen or heard of anything like it in my lifetime."==
 
>well great
"You know I can't afford another boat right?"
=="I know, I know. If this was Equestria I could pull some strings but..."==
 
"Cheer up, Red. We'll think of something."
=="Do you know how to build a boat?"==
 
"If you count rafts as boats."
=="Damn, oh well. It was worth a shot. If you think of anything, let me know, alright. If I ever make it back to Equestria I'd make you quartermaster without question."==
 
>heh, Anon in Equestria
>it does have a nice ring to it
**more meta, sorry, sorry!**
 
"So. Movie night?"
"Movie night!"
 
 
"Have you seen Lord of The Rings?"
>Red blinked in confusion
>stupid anon, stupid
>Red doesn't into human stuff
>you're starting to see past her equine figure more and more
>you weren't sure you liked it
"Lord of The Rings it is!"
"Red, make me a sandwich while I ready up the movie."
=="I'll make one for myself as well."==
 
>asking a female to make you a sandwich while wearing a wife-beater can now officially be scratched from the bucket list
 
>you fumble around until you find the first movie in the trilogy
>not necessarily your favorite but starting on such a movie series in the wrong order would be a sin
>maybe you should show her The Hobbit first?
>nah, fuck it
>if she likes the first one, she'll watch them in the same order you did
>you press play and watch the New Lie Cinema logo flash on screen as Red enters the living room with a cutting board-turned-tray of food on her back
>clever girl
>you take a bite out of your sandwich as Red sits down beside you
>LOTR's opening beings and Red is immediately captivated by the mood and the atmosphere of the move
>she was really cute when she sorta just phased out of reality when watching movies
>Red gasped in awe when she first saw the armies of men and elves clashing with the Orks of Mordor
>god, how you loved these movies
>the scene were Frodo first meets with Gandalf started playing as the soothing music set the tone
=="Aha! I knew you guys had magic!"==
 
"It's just a movie, Red."
=="Are you mad, man? This Gandalf is obviously a wizard."==
 
"Like with The Pirates of The Caribbean, it's all fiction."
=="A- alright. So, no magic. At all?"==
 
"Nope."
=="By the moon, you humans live gloomy lives."==
 
>you ignored her comment
 
>the movie carried on with Red verbally cheering whenever a sword-fight erupted
=="Legolas is the best of the Lord of The Rings."==
 
"They're not the lords of the rings, Red."
=="He's still the coolest one."==
 
>bitch wouldn't know cool if it slapped her in the face
>Gimli was your nigga through and through
 
>she didn't seem bothered by the sad scenes in the move at all
>quite the contrary she started yelling at dying people to get back on their feet
>she was more exited than anything else
>the only part her smile started to fade was during the breaking of the fellowship
>as the credits started to roll, Red flipped shit
=="Best movie ever! Please tell me it's more!"==
 
>the mare warped a hoof around your naked leg, trying to drag you over to change to the next film in the trilogy
 
>well shit, you wanted to watch cheesy sex comedies cause you're a faggit like that
>you could always lie and tell her that the first LOTR move was the only one made, even if that would make you a liar, she probably would never find out
>if you're going to watch the entire trilogy and perhaps the Hobbit you'd need to go get some light snacks from the store first
>movie night early in the morning isn't the same without stuffing your face with unhealthy treats
 
 
 
 
>fuck snacks
>its bad for you
>oh..!
>you still had a horse clinging to your leg, trying to get you to watch more Lord of The Rings moves
>now there's a collection of words you'd never thought you'd put together
"There's more movies, Red."
=="Yay!"==
 
>Red replied cheerfully
"And books."
=="I can't read!"==
 
>still cheerful
 
>while changing movies, Red spoke up
=="So, why is Sauron such an ass?"==
 
"Men are easily motivated by power."
=="You mean corrupted?"==
 
"Not necessarily. Although these movies are just fantasy, and Sauron is indeed an ass, there were a lot of men in history that sought power by force, and did a lot of good by doing so."
=="That doesn't make sense, anon. Anyone who tries to gain control over others with the end of the blade is inherently evil."==
 
"Bullshit, the world isn't black and white, Red."
=="Of course it isn't, I'm not color blind."==
 
"That wasn't what I meant. It means that people aren't really 'good' or 'evil'. Those terms are subjective."
=="I don't understand."==
 
"See, if I steal from an old, defenseless farmer, that would make me evil, right?"
=="Yes, and?"==
 
"What if I did it to feed my starving family?"
>Red had an eye twitch at her
=="…What?"==
 
"What if is did it to-"
=="No, no. I got what you said, it's just that.. Hmm."==
 
>Red stared into space
>fuck, you might have broken Red
"So, you ponies have no comprehension of moral gray areas?"
=="I just- I don't. If you steal from a helpless farmer, you're evil. But if you do it to feed your family you're good. But you can't be good if you're evil- So… Ahh! This hurts my brain. Morality's overrated. He's bad because he's black and scary."==
 
"How did you ponies even manage to build a society?"
=="Urgh, this is gonna bother me for days, I don't wanna talk about it. Let's just watch the movie, please."==
 
"Two Towers it is."
=="How many of these movies are there?"==
 
"Lord of The Rings has 3 movies, then there's the Hobbit, witch is a prequal, that one is a trilogy as well."
>Red beamed with joy
=="This is gonna be so good!"==
 
>you hit play
"I'm just gonna take a piss and get some pants real quick, alright"
>Red hardly even registered your words as the New Line Cinema™ logo appeared on the screen
 
 
 
>while pissing you were allowed some time to think
>Red really seemed to like fantasy
>she did say she came from a land filled with unicorns and stuff so it would only make sense
>what didn't make sense was how she didn't seem to grasp how there's more angles to morality than right and wrong
>you have no idea how horrible the society she came from must have been were all parties claims their subjectivity as right and everything else as pure evil
>wonder how many wars that's caused
>you were kinda curious how a place like that would look like
>done pissing you head for your pants
 
 
>after your little pants and piss break you enter the living room to see Red watching the scene were Gollum swears to serve Frodo
>you sat beside Red once more
=="Are freaky little human things like that real?"==
 
"Yeah, they're called Jews."
 
>…
 
>after about 3 hours of Non-stop LOTR Red eventually fell asleep again
>you guess sitting still for so long in the early hours of the day wasn't what outdoor creatures like her was built to do
>which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that she fell asleep with her head in your lap
>the mare's hot breath giving you all kinds of uncomfortable feels
>what? You were very sensitive down there
 
 
>you figure this might be the time to get out and about
>perhaps save the movie watching for later tonight
>you were getting kinda hungry
>and waking Red up now, only to resume watching films would probably end in her falling asleep again
 
 
>you paused the movie and took a deep breath
>with your left hand you carefully scooped Red's head a little bit lower down on your leg to get her face away from your crotch
>you shifted your hand to pet her mane but quickly decided against it
>you remember her reaction when that brony sperg tried to do so
>she obviously does not like being petted on the head
>instead you lay your hand on her withers and gently stroke back and forward in a slow, rhythm
>this was nice
>you can't imagine how involved you've been with this pony since you tried to bury her alive
 
>the most surprising thing about this situation isn't that she is indeed a equine capable of human-like emotion, thoughts, intelligence and problem solving
>nor her impressive motor-functions for having no thumbs
>it's how easy you got along with her
>hell, it feels like you've known each-other for years, she's so easy to talk to
>you move your hand away to scratch your head
>Red's ear twitched in disapproval
>yeah, yeah, I'll get to it
>you resume stroking her
>bitch be mad soft
>thoughts of yours drift to Red wanting to go back to Equestria
>you haven't really talked too in-depth about it
>you'd miss the shit out of her, that's for sure
>maybe you're not ready to let her go just yet
>…
>should you ask to come with her?
>nah, a human's place is on earth
>just thinking of being flung into uncharted territory, probably having to fight magical monsters and the like scared the hell out of you
>the unknown
>then again
>man has always gravitated towards the unknown
>its as frightening as it is exiting, to imagine being the first man to traverse dimensions and explore a civilization untouched by mankind
>you were never big on that kind of stuff before, but now that there might be an actual opportunity to do so…
>the sights and sounds such an undertaking could provide
>it really boggles the mind
 
>you felt something move under your fingers
>Red was starting to wake up
 
>Red let out a yawn of displeasure
=="Urgh, shit..."==
 
"What's gotten you all pissy?"
=="Dreams, stuff."==
 
>Red looked at your hand caressing her withers
=="Umm, Anon. Are you having a stroke?"==
 
"No, you ass, I'm petting you."
>Red raised an eyebrow
=="…Why?"==
 
>you gotta be kidding me
"It's a sign of affection. Plus you're soft as fuck."
>Red shrugged
=="You do what you gotta do, just stay out of my mane and we'll have no problems… Also a little further back, plea- ah, little to the starboard. There we go, like that~"==
>you resume the movie
"So, I've been thinking, about this whole Equestria thing."
=="Mhhmm."==
 
"How deadly is Equestria, from a scale from 1 to 10?"
=="Depends. Ah-, harder, anon. I can take it. It depends on were you go. Mainland is tame as a kitten. A solid 0/10 there. Cursed forests scattered around on the mainland… I'd say a 4/10."==
 
"Go on."
=="The sea in general is a 2/10, encountering sea monsters is a 7/10-"==
 
"You fuckin' ponies have sea monsters?"
=="Duh. Some isolated islands can be pretty lethal. I've heard. Anything unoccupied by ponies, Griffons, Zebras or Minotaurs are pretty much dead zones, a good way to get yourself killed. 9/10."==
 
"So it's not all sunshine and rainbows?"
=="Most of Equestria is, if it helps. Why are you suddenly interested in Equestria, anon?"==
 
"I was thinking of visiting."
>Red flashed a sinister grin
=="Widdle Anon thinks he gots what it takes to be a buccaneer?"==
 
"Bitch I'm almost twice your size."
>Red huffed
=="I'll have you know I'm very tall for an earth pony."==
 
"You're still tiny, Red. So, if you, we manage to get to Equestria, will you give me a tour?"
=="Sure Anon."==
 
"Oh, and one more thing. I want to be able to return to earth if the initial trip to Equestria doesn't kill me."
=="I think that can be arranged. I know some unicorns that owe me one."==
 
>fuck, this is so stupid
"Alright, then. What do we need to bring with us?"
>Red scratched her head
=="Hmm. I guess food and winter clothes, I have no idea were this magical storm will take us, water would be nice. OH! And booze and your guns!"==
 
"Why?"
=="Why? Why the fuck not?"==
 
>she's got a point
=="All we really need is a boat."==
 
"That's the real problem, isn't it?"
=="The way I see it, since you can't afford one is, either help me build one, that's gonna take years, by the way. Or we 'borrow' one from someone who wouldn't need it as much as we do."==
 
"Surly you're not suggestin-"
=="You can pay them back when you return to earth, if you want. Sail under my hooves and you'll be a rich man in no time."==
 
>Red gave you a salesman smile
=="Guaranteed!"==
 
"Alright, but if you're selling me snake-oil here I'll keelhaul you myself."
=="You won't be keelhauling much of anything without a proper ship."==
 
"That's true. So. How big of a boat do we need?"
=="I don't know what kinds of ships you humans use. I sailed in a hermaphrodite brig when we met the storm. Something along that size."==
 
"Well shit, one second then."
>you grab the laptop and look up 'hermaphrodite brig'
>knowing the internet you expected boat-porn
 
>being pleasantly surprised at the lack of boat-porn you continued on reading up on the brig
"23 to 50 meters? I don't know, Red. there's not too many boats around here that are that big and also available to steal."
=="Oh that doesn't matter. We only need one. Besides, everything's bigger in this world, I guess you can shave off a couple of meters."==
 
>Red paused
=="It needs to be fit for buccaneering."==
 
 
"Well, there's the local ferry. We could try to take it when its dropping off it's last passengers at around midnight. It has a lot of space but moves slowly and is pretty big, on the flip side it can take a lot of abuse and probably wouldn't be damaged in the storm, at all. People will notice it being gone the day after and, unless we're lucky and find a magical storm during 24 hours we're both probably fucked. It's practically unprotected by anyone after they've docked it though."
 
"The other option would be to attend this dinner place tonight, some TV chef is saving this one restaurant from going out of business by changing up the menu and stuff. There will be a couple of guys trying to sell yachts. These vessels are mainly recreational and won't hold nearly as much cargo. They're fast as fuck though, which is good cause as soon as we're off with it, the people selling them will be after us. We'll probably be alright though since we could out-mach most things over here in speed, making us very hard to catch. It can't take one tenth of the abuse the ferry can though. Then again, they're comfy as fuck."
 
"There's also… Another option."
=="Let's hear it-"==
 
"There is this old troopship, British one that some company here are restoring in a industrial ship garage. We'd have to sneak in and find a way to make it seaworthy. It's almost finished but lacks a paint-job and has a huge hole in the bow. If we managed to sneak in, find a way to repair that hole and lower the troopship back into the ocean we could use that."
 
=="What's the benefits of a 'troopship'?"==
 
>Red asked with curiousness in her voice
"They dwarf pretty much anything, near infinite storage place for crew and cargo and they're tougher than nails. They're also really fast for their size. The drawbacks are their sheer size, they're easily spotted because they stand out like a sore thumb. You also need a large crew to keep it in optimal condition. The tech on it is probably a lot older than in the other ones as well so we'd have to use maps instead of GPS and manadge without a digital depth meter."
 
=="Gips? didital depth meter?"==
 
"They make sailing more easy"
 
=="I see. I think I'll leave this one up to you, anon. You're obviously more well versed in man-made vessels than I am."==
 
 
 
>you grin
"Red, there's some stuff in the bag on the kitchen counter. I want you to make yourself a harness so you can carry shit with."
>Red hopped off the couch with a determined look on her face
=="We really doing this?"==
 
"You bet your ass. Be done til I get back."
=="Aye aye, Anon!"==
 
 
>you grab the car keys
>off to the shop you go
>you arrive at the small local market
>entering the men's aisle you look at some Tuxes
>classic black jacket followed by a pair of dress pants, white vest and a white shirt underneath it
>add a red bow-tie, matching pocket silk and cummerbund and you were good to go
>you try the clothes out
>sweet
>they fit like a charm
>thank god
>custom tailored Tuxedos were way out of your league
>you go to pay the lady at the counter
>damn, you really were running out of money fast
>that feast of a dinner last night did your wallet no favors
>you pay and head off to the next order of business
>liquor store
>Captain Morgan fuck yeah
>anything else?
>oh, extra ammunition for your guns
>you really did feel like a child again running around the market, purchasing stuff to play pirate
>if you survive this is gonna be so sweet
>you exite
 
>the guy behind the rifle store counter greeted you
>you didn't have much money left
>the man offered you a bundle deal based on what guns you told him you owned
>FMJ 150 grain 9mm x 120
>Remington 22 subsonic x 300
>military-grade 00 buckshot 9 pellets x 75
>that bundle was the most you'd get from the money you had left
>no extra ammo for the SKS but you had a lot of that at home
 
 
>you take the deal
>he even threw in a couple of ammo bags
>for free
>you pack the Tux, booze and ammo inside your car and drive back home
 
"Hey Red! You done yet?"
=="Haaf hmhmmf"==
 
>You walk into the kitchen to see Red spit a roll of duct tape out of her mouth
=="All done."==
 
"Nice, have you tried it on?"
>Red struggled for a moment getting into her contraption but it worked
>a simple collection of gear loops, buckles, padding and buckles made attaching stuff a breeze
>she even had two large cargo pockets for storing items at each side
>were did she get those?
=="I went a little crazy and sampled a pair of your work pants, anon"==
 
>that bitch
>doesn't matter now though
>the celebrity chef was only here for the evening so if you wanted that yacht you had to strike tonight
"get in the car, Red. I just gotta pick up some thing real quick."
=="Ohh! I'm so exited!"==
 
"You do know what a car is, right?"
=="Duh."==
 
"Don't get cunty. I don't know were you ponies are in the industrial timeline."
>Red trotted off to the car and you were left alone in your living room
>it's the last time you'll see this place for quite some time
>but it is Man's nature to go out of his comfort zone
>if he didn't we'd all be scurrying around in caves still
'sigh'
>maybe you should bring something extra to Equestria?
>you already had the guns, ammo and booze in mind
>but Equestria is a stupid place with shitty technology
>maybe you could bring some household items and sell them there foe major bucks?
 
 
>you can bring x5 items
>laptop, tv, camera etc
>a stack of books, food or a stack of clothing counts as x1 item
 
 
 
>a Swiss army knife might be good
>oh, and your laptop
>you downloaded a pack consisting of several gigs worth of eBooks a few years back
>never got around to read them
>but fresh reading material is always nice
>it might run out of power though
>your old-ass hand-crank generator would take care of that
>recharging might take a while but it's better than nothing
 
>clothing, clothing…
>you run upstairs to get some
>a pair of warm jackets and sturdy pants, extra socks, a fist full of white wife-beaters and about ten boxers
>you grab a pair of shorts as well for good measure
>you had no idea what kind of climate the ponies lived in
>does shoes count as clothes?
>probably, you squire some sneakers, a pair of survivalist boots and sandals
>one for every occasion
 
>out back you had some old cans filled with gas
>it wasn't much but it would have to do
>while grabbing the cans you also took out your guns and all extra ammo you had
>you didn't take the time to count them
>too late to buy more now anyways
 
>balancing all your stuff you wobble over to your car and trow it all in the backseat
>except for the ammo, which you placed in the trunk
>it's important to separate the two
>perfect
>you take the Tux out of your car and get dressed quickly outside before getting behind the wheel
"Alright, fancy dinner, steal a yacht."
=="I honestly didn't think you had it in you, anon. I can't believe we're going to Equestria!"==
 
"If we live."
=="I'd be a pretty cool way to die though, you gotta admit."==
 
"Being hurled around in a storm until we go under?"
=="Beats dying alone and bedridden as an old hag."==
 
>you shrugged
"True enough."
>you start the engine
"Take your seat-belt on, Red."
=="Seat. Belt?"==
 
"Um, never-mind."
>you shifted to first gear and started driving
=="Woahhhahahahaha! Cool!"==
 
"Neat, right? Didn't you say you had cars in Equestria?"
=="Never said I've sailed one."==
 
"You 'drive' cars, you don't sail them."
=="Now, how was I supposed to know that?"==
 
"The more you know, Red. The more you know."
 
>you drove off to the restaurant by the little pier
>a bunch of cars were already parked all around the place
>you spot a bunch of pristine, new Yachts in the ocean just waiting to be sold
>or stolen
>parking the car deliberately close to the pier
 
=="So, since this is a restaurant and all. Do we eat first or do we just go ahead and steal it?"==
 
"I don't have anymore money, Red."
=="You're with a trunk filled with guns with the intention of stealing a Yat and you're worrying about a little dine & dash?"==
 
 
>it might be a little hard to get Red inside the restaurant
>then again, you didn't know how long you had to fuck around before your next meal
>also dammit, Red. It's called a 'Yacht'
 
 
"Red. Let's just go for the boat, the less time we spend here the lees the chance of us getting caught. Now, can you pack out the stuff in the backseat and trunk and I'll find the salesman."
=="Why do I have to do the hard work?"==
 
"I don't think the guy will respond well to a fucking horse trying to buy a boat off him."
>Red scanned the yachts
=="Alright, but I want the fastest one."==
 
"Deal."
>you walked out of the car
>looking around you saw some guy smoking a cigarette by the docks
>the guy was wearing a suit and had some papers under his arm
>must be the guy
>time to put on the rich guy act
"Good evening, sir."
>the guy looked up from his shoes and smiled
>he reached out his hand and you shook it
>"Charles."
"Anonymous."
>"You want a cigarette?"
"Sure."
>you take the cigarette he offered and let him light it
>"Nice Tuxedo."
"Thanks."
>you took a drag from your cigarette
"I noticed these fine looking boats. Yours?"
>"Heh. My company's. Beauties, right?"
"Yeah."
"Was looking to buy one. The price is irrelevant."
>Charles smile turned to glee
>"I see. Do you know anything about boats, Mr. Anonymous?"
"Yeah. I've had a fishing-boat for some time and was looking to upgrade."
>"Aha. I see. Might I interest you in this Azimut 64 Flybridge? She's Italian and offers owners a blend of speed, grace, and class."
"Charles, my man. Are you trying to sell me your biggest Yacht?"
>"Well Mr. Anonymous. When you're sailing a Azimut, affordability takes a backseat to luxury and grace."
>you did say budget was irrelevant
 
"That sounds wonderful. How much horsepower does this Yacht have?"
>"Glad you asked. You'll get 34 knots, impressive for a vessel of this size."
>in the back of your eye you saw Red trying to manage your gear
>need to buy some more time
"Does it come with any special features?"
>"Naturally. The 64 comes with a Easy Docking system and some Seakeeper gyrostabilizers that reduce roll by up to 80%. It runs through waves smooth as silk. The helm station is fantastically ergonomic with a double seat and power-assisted back, the steering wheel is height-adjustable and blah blah in the middle of the instrument panel to provide full blah control of the onboard instrumentation.. Blah blah blah blah-"
"Interesting. Can we take it for a test ride?"
>"I'd love to. Meet me at my offices next week. Can I have your phone number, Mr. Anonom-"
"How about right now?"
>"Surly you don't mean-"
>you clapped your hands together and smiled
"You've convinced me, Charles, you're a good salesman. Let's take her for a ride right now and I'll have a check within the evening."
>"Oh? Oh! Sure!"
"Lead the way, Charles."
>Red was shrouded in the shadows by the car, the equipment ready to be pushed on board
 
 
>if you let him go you'd have all hell on your ass in a matter of minuets
>you'd have more time to get away if you took him hostage though
 
 
 
>the two of you walked inside the helm of the yacht
>Charles sat down in the driver seat and turned the yacht on
>just then, Red pushed the first batch of stuff onboard the boat with her head
>Charles turned around once an ammo crate burst open and 9mm came rolling down towards him
>"What the!"
=="Calm that tongue less you lose it, crab-sucking whoreson!"==
 
==>"Did that- Did that pon… jush wah…"==
*thud*
>Charles passed out upon seeing Red talk
>sweet, you didn't even need to choke him out
>poor guy pissed himself
>eh, whatever
>you tie up his arms and ball-gag him with a sock
>then you padded him down
>got his cellphone, cigarettes and lighter
"Hurry Red. The rest of the stuff!"
>Red quickly pushed the remaining items of yours inside the yacht
>you pushed Charles inside the bathroom of the Yacht and locked the door
>with that you sailed off
=="HAHAHAHAHA! WE DID IT!"==
 
"Holy shit we did it, Red!"
=="Woo!"==
 
 
>continuing further off shore Red tried to pop a bottle of Captain Morgan
=="Anon, can you…?"==
 
>you cheerfully opened the bottle and took a chug before passing it over to Red
=="Ahh! The rush and excitement! Never gets old~!"==
 
"I can get used to this."
=="You and me, Anon. 'Red and Anon'. The most feared duo on the nine seas! I can see it now."==
 
"You mean 'Anon and Red'."
=="I'm pretty sure I said Red and Anon."==
 
>Red passed you the bottle of Rum and you took another swing
"He he. You wish."
 
>after about 30 minutes of sailing your phone rang
"This is Anon speaking.."
>"Duude!!"
>it can't be
"Brony guy?"
>"Hell yeah, bruv!"
"Hey, did your fanfiction say anything about how often these magical storms appear?"
>"Uhh. Sure man, why?"
"I'm going."
>"Oh sweet bruv!. What Twilight did was. Se lost her horn to discord, right? Because the first time she was taken by the storm it was accidental. So she performed some ritual with salt and the blood of a virgin. It did some shit that made something in Equestria tick and created a… something that, uh something that triggered a thing in Equestria that made the storm. But you can't travel without a bigger boat dude, you'll kill yourself."
"How fucking high are you right now? Never-mind, doesn't matter. I got a boat that'll take the storm."
>"… Take me with you."
>the brony's cheerful tone changed in a heartbeat
"What?"
>"I'll pay you dude, whatever you want. Going to Equestria's like. The one thing I've ever wanted to do. I know we didn't get along last time but, I'll be out of your hair the second we hit Equestrian mainland. I'm not good at sob stories but, I just want another shot at life, man."
 
>should you bring that brony with you?
>there's a chance he could summon the storm, assuming the things he told you would actually work in the first place
>he was weird but he didn't seem dangerous
>and the poor guy did sound distressed
 
 
"Alright, alright, just stay out of sight and out of mind when I tell you."
>"You'd bring me, bro?"
"Don't bring any weapons, pack some essentials and come alone, I'll pick you up by my house in two hours, give or take."
>"Thank you man! You won't regret this!"
"Oh, and how the fuck did you get my phone number?"
>"You wouldn't bring me if you knew, see you in an hour Anon."
=="Who was that?"==
 
"That weirdo from the sports store."
=="The brown-knee?"==
 
"Something like that, he's coming with us."
=="Really?"==
 
"Yeah, really. We'll drop him off at the closest town."
=="Why bring some stranger if you're only going to drop him off? Is there some kind of reward for bringing him?"==
 
"He talked about some sort of ritual to summon a storm in Equestria, witch will in turn make one here… I don't know he was high as balls and didn't explain it properly."
=="And you trust him with that?"==
 
"It's better to take our chances floating around at sea for days, maybe weeks."
=="Aye, you're right. As long as he keeps his landlubbing ape-hands away from my mane."==
 
 
>after around 1.5 hours and a bottle of Morgan you made it to your house
>you saw the brony by the shore waving you down
"Hop on, quick."
>"Ohh dude! I can't believe this is happening!"
"Trow your bags down."
>the guy did as you told and you looked through his stuff
>tie dye shirts, books, notepads, pencils, weed..
>weed?
>lots of fucking weed
>you turned to look at him and the guy just smiled
>"Ponies are peaceful creatures, man. All they do is run around, chasing butterflies and eat organic, vegetables. I don't want to upset their natural order, dude."
>Red held down a laugh
 
>the brony noticed one of the 9mm bullets that were laying around after Red knocked the box over
>shortly after that, his eyes fixated on the array of ammo and firearms that lay in the back of the boat
>"Dude. We're supposed to come in peace. Is this how you want to introduce the ponies to mankind?"
>you grabbed your SKS and screwed the bayonet off in front of the brony guy
"This is mankind, I'm just being honest is all."
>"We can do better."
>you handed Red the bayonet and she stuck it in a gear loop on her left fore hoof
"You gonna convince them that Man is just this docile, peace-loving piece of love? That illusion is gonna crumble eventually. We've gone were we wish and taken what we want since before recorded history."
>"You don't know these ponies man, they'd hate us for what we are.."
"Would you rather they liked us for something we are not?"
>"…"
"Cheer up, guy. Have some rum, Red?"
=="We're empty."==
 
"Bullshit, I have more than one bottle onboard."
=="I can't open these bottles, Anon. No fingers, remember?"==
 
"I swear to god, you're hopeless."
>you open up another bottle and take a sing
"Ahh. Want some?"
>the guy took your bottle and drank as well
"Anyway. The ritual?"
>"The ritua- Oh! Yeah dude! I brought the salt and everything."
"Now we just need that virgin blood."
 
…
 
 
=="Don't look at me."==
 
"Well shit, I'm not a virgin. How are we supposed to get virgin blood now?"
>"Well, I… Kinda am."
=="Phahahaha! You got the beard of a man but never felt a woman?"==
 
"Red, be nice."
 
>The guy started pouring salt around the deck making a mess you might add
>he started chanting something in a language you didn't recognizance
>as he bit his finger and smeared blood around in the salt he was pouring something started to rumble in the distance
>if you looked closely, the skies tarted to part, revealing the moon as the guy's chanting intensified
 
 
 
>WARNING: Going through with this will land you in the magical land of Equestria. Are you sure you want to continue?
>y/n