Title:           Red & Anon (Anon & Red) CYOA 1
Author:          BabsZeeb
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/12nMA1g7
First Edit:      Sunday 8th of March 2015 05:40:29 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 8th of March 2015 05:40:29 PM CDT

>while on a lazy friday afternoon you decide to go fishing
>pole, boots, b8 and boat all ready
>a couple of hours of fishing yields no results
>feels bad man
>the weather's picking up and you smell a storm a' brewing
>just as you're about to leave for home again something appears out of the ordinary
>some red shit is floating about on what you can only guess is drifting wood
>you decide to check it out
>as you row closer the red object starts to take form
>it looks like a dyed dog of some sort
>maybe a kid's toy or something
>you row up to it to inspect it further
>the weather's getting really bad now
>oh shit!
 
 
>it looks like one of those ponies you've seen being shitposted everywhere on the internet for the past 5 years
>you decide to haul it out of the ocean
>shit's heavy
>the sound of pone hitting wood could be heard as it knocks it's head against the bottom boards of your boat
>well shit.mp4
>it's probably already dead anyways
>the wind was really starting to whip the sea around now
>better hurry the fuck up back to shore before you're swept up by the storm
>why didn't you invest in a motorboat?
 
>salty sea water splashes hard against your bow as you make it towards dry land
>holy shit that was close
>you stare at the mute body splayed out at the bottom of your boat
>what the fuck are you gonna do with it
>maybe if you…
>nah that's fucking stupid
>there's no way this thing has a pulse
>you lay your head to what you just discovered to be a 'her's chest and listen
>nothing
>you figured
 
>you should still bury her though
>she can't lay here and rot
>a burial at sea after all the effort of dragging her out of that mess of a weather seemed stupid
>you sigh and sing her over your back
 
>back home at last
>the weather has blocked out the sun
>with gray skies and rainy weather you figured this to be the perfect gloomy mood for a funeral
>you know that if someone found you dead at sea you'd want a burial
>an hour passes in the pouring rain as you finally finish her grave
>a little shallow but you don't want to risk getting a cold being outside for too long
>you pick the pony… thing up for the last time and lay her into her final resting place
>you start to shovel dirt onto her when suddenly you start to hear gurgling sounds
>the pony starts coughing up sea water in a fit as she twirls around in the mud hole frantically
 
>the pony rears up in what you believe to be shock and fear as she turns her big blue eyes on you
=="Neeigh!"==
>well shit
>maybe you should ask her what's up
>she's probably pretty fucking freaked out
>you know you'd be for sure
 
 
 
"Hey, you alright?"
>the mare's breathing sped up and you could see her chest rise and lower quickly
>your words didn't seem to reassure her
>and quite honestly, why would it?
>horses can't speak
"Sorry about the whole trying-to-bury-you-alive thing. I didn't know you were still kicking."
=="Spare me!"==
>there must be something in the water because you were sure that pony was responding verbally
"Woah, chill, I'm not gonna kill you."
>….
>what the fuck were you supposed to say to her?
"Hey, Ehh. What's your name?"
>smooth, anon. Real smooth
=="R-red."==
>she's still shook up
>you decide to take off the hood of your raincoat to look less like a serial-killer
"Look, I come in peace or whatever. Shit girl. Relax."
>you approach her and try to lift her out of the grave
>Red immediately recoils at your touch
>"Re-lax. I promise i'm not gonna hurt you."
>you looked at her again
>poor thing was shivering
"You're soaked in seawater. If you stay out here you'll freeze to death. Let me help you."
=="But, you're-"==
"Look at it as an apology for trying to bury you alive."
>"Oh. Hmm, Ok"
>finally
>you pick her up by the torso and cradle her
>shit, she's heavier than she looks
>and dirty as fuck
>you figure being lost at sea and near homicide (ponycide?) will do that to you
 
 
>getting her indoors you carefully place her in the hallway
>Red shook herself getting all kinds of dirt on your previously clean shoes
>you motherfucker
>chill, anon. Chill
>Red still looked miserable
>maybe you should borrow her your shower
>do ponies shower?
>would the hair clog your drain?
 
"Hey, you might want to shower all that shit off. You're not threading my house with all that mud and salt on you."
>wow anon, rood much?
>"I mean. You should probably take a shower or something, you look cold, mam."
>Geez, you were not good with women
>being an isolated fuck will do that to you
"Here, I'll show you the bathroom."
>you walked her to your shower
=="thanks…. Eh, what was your name?"==
"Anon."
>no way you're giving out your name to a talking horse
>you're pretty sure talking horses were one of the seven signs of the apocalypse
>damnshame.jpg
 
 
"You know how to shower, right?"
=="What? Why wouldn't I?"==
"It's just that, y'know. Not every day you see a talking horse."
=="I am a pony though! What to you mean 'not every day?' Were are we?"==
"What?"
=="Were in Equestria are we, right now?"==
"Uhh. Equestria?"
…
"Look, just take a shower and we'll talk, alright?"
>Red shot you a suspicious look
=="Alright. But you better spill the guts afterwards."==
"I will, promise."
 
 
>you heard Red successfully manage to turn on the shower
>you also heard her slip and fall
>about to check it out you heard red call out somewhat in pain
=="I'm alright, Anon!"==
 
>deciding to give her some peace you slumped down on your couch
>what the fuck was going on?
>maybe you should call the police, or the animal protective services
>she might belong to some rich, gene-splicing scientist or something
>maybe a government experiment?
>it would have to wait til tomorrow though
>even if you called now, it would take quite some time for authorities to reach your distant location
>while getting caught up in deep thought you heard Red at the bathroom door
>sounded like he was having some difficulties unlocking it
>no hands
>it makes sense how a horse would have a hard time opening doors now that you think about it
>you walk on over and open it up for her
=="Stupid door! Hey. Thanks by the way."==
>Red was now squeaky clean and her cream colored coat was no longer defiled with dirt
>she was still wet though
"You know what a door is?"
>Res shook herself like a dog, getting water all over you and her surroundings before heading to your living room
>you mad
=="Why wouldn't I know what a door is?"==
>easy, anon. Easy
"You don't have hands, for one thing."
=="My hooves usually does the trick. I don't know why they didn't work just now."==
>how?
>Red sat down on your floor and you retired to your favorite spot on the couch
=="So. Mr Anon. I have a lot of questions to ask you."==
"I could say the same."
=="Well shoot. Who's first?"==
 
>you got up to your feet to get a towel for the mess she made but figured you'd ask her some questions while doing so
"So, how lazy were your parents when they decided to name you 'Red'?"
=="I guess they thought it fitted my mane."==
"Mhm."
>you found a towel and started cleaning up after her
=="I also heard from other ponies that it might be some form of symbolism but I've never really put too much thought into it. Why'd you ask? It's a pretty rude question."==
"Messing up my house is pretty rude too. Stop drying yourself like a dog."
>you tossed the towel in her face
"There, clean up after yourself. I'm gonna make some food."
>it was getting late and you'd hope to squeeze in a meal before night time
 
>you head into the kitchen but to your dismay there's not enough spaghetti left from last night to fill two stomachs
"Fuck."
=="What's wrong?"==
>wait a minute
>horses eat grass!
>Anon, you're such a genius
"You don't mind eating grass, do you? I don't have enough sketties for both."
=="Yuck! Grass? Do I look like some sort of cow to you?"==
"You're shitting me. Horses eat grass!"
"But I'm not a horse, Anon."
>god damnit
"Alright, alright. There's a local bakery 15 minutes away from here. We'll go get some pizza and I can tell you all you need to know abut this place on the way."
>there's no way you'd let that thing out of sight in your home
=="Actually, I'm feeling a little bit tired, Anon. Can I borrow your floor for the night?"==
"Eh, I'm not too comfortable having you sleep here and all."
=="Pleeease~!"==
>Red did a puppy look
>it's super effective
"Ffffuck. Fine. But I'll be watching you."
=="That's fine, it's your home after all."==
>Red took a couple of circles before laying down on a carpet
>you kept looking at her from your spot on the couch
>hours passed with vidya on your cellphone before you ere convinced she was sound asleep
>with the grace of a Russian ballet dancer you swooped her up and placed her on the couch.
>you got a blanket and wrapped her in before going to bed in your own room
>tomorrow's gonna be fun