Title:           Luna vs. Anons Parents by MountainSides
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/SLJbki0M
First Edit:      Monday 8th of February 2016 06:07:55 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 8th of February 2016 06:07:55 PM CDT

>You are Anon, recently returned from Equestria to your homeland.
>You had the time of your life there, meeting hundreds of ponies, and even finding something a bit...more with one of them.
>It is for this reason you have returned, alongside the Princess of the Equestrian Night, Luna.
>You've been worried about this meetup for weeks now, and standing in front of the hotel mirror, you're not getting any calmer.
>You can't even talk to yourself, since your mind seems to be drawing nothing but blanks.
>"Ahem."
>You jerk from your reverie and spin around, smiling instinctively as Luna's eyes meet yours.
>Whew...
>Just staring at her calms you down from almost anything.
>"Is everything quite alright, Anon?"
>You give a quick nod, trying to mask your anxiety.
"Yeah, I just really want this to go well, you know? My parents are nice, but they can take a long time to get warmed up to anything or anyone they don't like."
>She flashes you a quick smirk, stepping in and nuzzling her shoulder against your ribs, emitting a strange purring sound not unlike a cat.
>It's a trait unique to her, as far as you know.
>Not a single other pony in Equestria has ever done this around you.
>You quickly lift her into your arms, pressing her cheek up against your own, and take a deep breath.
>She smells like pine needles and sweet smoke, an intoxicating blend.
>"I wouldn't worry. I'll make sure to be on my very best behavior."
>You take a step back, presenting yourself to her.
"How do I look?"
>She mirrors your backward step, looking up and down your whole body.
>"Like a million Bits."
>You flash her a quick grin, adjusting your tie as you do so.
"You ready?"
>She nods, and you step over to the door, opening it and gesturing her out.
 
Power Gap
 
>Very little transpired on your 20-minute taxi ride to your parents' house on the edge of the suburbs, aside from a few kisses for luck and courage.
>However, the second that little house appears in your eyesight, it appears as a fortress.
>You cringe, trying not to show your fear and failing horribly.
>A warmth grips your hand, and you glance down to see a dark blue aura surrounding it.
>Luna places a hoof under your chin and directs your gaze to hers.
>"You'll be fine, Anon. It's just you and me."
>You are a taxi driver in Los Angeles, catering to the transportation needs of Anon.
>You've been in the business for years now, seen pretty much all there is to see.
>Even so, you can help but raise an eyebrow when Anon slides into your backseat alongside what looks to be a dark blue horse with wings and a horn.
>You'd been told to expect him to be in odd company, and you knew he'd been to some weird horse planet, which was why he was so famous.
>The prospect of having an alien horse in your cab, though, was still a bit off-putting.
"Well, where can I take you to?"
>Anon slides a piece of paper into the passenger seat with an address scribbled on it and proceeds to lay his head in his hands.
>The address is for an old development on the outskirts of town, but you're more interested in the horse behind you as you put the car in gear.
>She seems to be nuzzling up against him and...purring?
>That's kind of weird, but kind of adorable too.
>You take off, letting the purr of both the horse and your engine fill your mind until one of them stops.
>The car is still moving, so you take a quick glance in your rear view mirror.
>jawdrop.jpg
>The dude is tongue fencing this horse like nobody's business.
>For a moment, you consider stopping right then and there, then you remember that this is an alien.
>She might not take kindly to any rude advances, and she probably has other forms besides a horse.
>Dozens of crazy theories fly through your head, as well as an inexplicable sense of jealousy, which you quickly beat back.
>Sure, she's pretty nice looking for what she is, but come on now...
>You shake out of your thoughts and focus on the road until you make it to the address, at which point Anon steps out of the car and stops.
>You lean out of the window, ready to wait if he's not gonna take long.
>You watch in abject terror as your parents throw open the screen door, making a beeline for the car.
>You've got just enough time to shimmy around the side and open the Princess's door before they both reach you, tackling you with two big hugs.
>You grin a bit as you return the hugs.
>For the briefest of moments, you feel as if your fears have been completely unfounded.
>Everything is the same as its always been.
>Your dad still smells like menthol cigarettes, your mom like dish soap and fresh bread.
>But then...you feel her lungs deflate, and she begins to pull away from you.
>You step back, and both sets of eyes are directed very pointedly at Luna.
>You're almost shocked at the motions your own body takes, instinctively stepping to her side and staring across the space at the both of them.
"Mom, Dad...I'd like to introduce you to my fiancé. This is Luna."
>They glance between you and the Alicorn, clearly trying to mask a lot of skepticism.
"Now I know what you're thinking..."
>You are interrupted by Luna taking a quick step outward and bowing low to your parents, causing you to draw a complete blank.
>Clearly unsure of what to do, your parents return the bow uncertainly.
>You take a quick breath.
>Maybe this won't go as terribly as you were afraid of.
>As all three of them straighten up, Luna steps forward and extends a hoof toward your father.
>"It is a great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ymous."
>He raises an eyebrow skeptically, but grasps her hoof and gives it a light shake.
>"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you too."
>She grins politely and moves toward your mother, extending the same hood.
>Your mother takes it quickly, and you see her forearm twitch a bit, hinting that she's undergoing her typical squeezing contest with Luna.
>It takes almost twenty seconds before she realizes that Luna is wearing steel hoof guards.
>You can't help but smirk a bit as your mother pulls her hand back quickly.
"So, shall we head inside?"
>Everyone nods, turning toward your front door.
>As you approach the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder.
>It's your dad, gesturing you to the corner of the patio as your mother and Luna head inside.
>You reluctantly part with them, following your father as he lights up a cigarette and stares at you for a second.
"Do I have a growth or something?"
>He shakes his head and sighs, puffing out a ring of smoke.
>"No, I'm just a bit curious as to...well..."
"Why I'm planning on getting married to a pony?"
>"Well, yeah."
>You take a breath and nod.
>This question was bound to come sooner or later, so sooner was probably better.
"I'm marrying Luna because I love her. It's that simple."
>Your dad purses his lips, but before he can offer a retort, you continue.
"Dad, I spent almost a year in Equestria. The inhabitants are just as intelligent as humans, more so in a few cases. I'm not taking advantage of her or anything."
>Your father takes a deep draw on his cigarette and tosses it down, crushing the butt out absentmindedly.
>"Alright, fair enough. Only...have you two..."
>Another imminent question, one that's a lot easier to answer.
"No, dad. I haven't slept with her yet."
>He nods stepping toward the door.
>"Just checking."
>You and your father both step inside, and you rapidly find your face buried in a pile of blue fluff.
"Hello, Luna."
>"Anon, this is truly incredible! I know you told me that much of your world was run on electricity, but this is absolutely unbelievable!"
>You glance around her at your mom, who seems to have her left eyebrow permanently locked in the up position.
"You showed her the microwave, didn't you?"
>A quick nod, and you place Luna on the ground.
"Fair enough."
>You can't help but notice your dad's finger tapping on the counter, mere seconds after coming in.
>areyoukiddingme.jpg
>Luna seems to follow your gaze, and flashes a mild grin at your father.
>"Sir, if I may, I noticed earlier that you were using a certain substance. If you're being troubled by some form of addiction, I believe I could help you with it."
>Your father chuckles a bit.
>"No offense, ma'am, but I've been smoking for 34 years, and I've tried every method there is of quitting."
>Luna gives a slight grin, tilting her head to the side a bit.
>"Humor me, if you would."
>He shrugs, standing up to his full height.
>"Shoot."
>Her horn sparks, and you watch in awe as a cloud of yellow-gray steam rises from your father's pores.
>The whole thing collects above him and directs itself out the back door, floating upward immediately.
>Your dad feels his whole body, grinning in shock and awe as he takes a deep breath.
>"You're kidding..."
>Your father rushes outside, faster than you've seen him go in years, and through the kitchen window you can see him out there taking massive breaths.
>He lets out a hearty laugh, clearly elated.
>You begin to frown as he fishes the little box from his pocket, but after a final look at it, he drops it straight to the ground and crushes it under his foot.
>Shortly after, he steps back inside, grinning and taking massive breaths.
>"Man...I just...wow..."
>Your mother seems genuinely happy, and glances between your father and Luna for a few seconds before turning to you.
>"Well, I'd say this is cause for a little celebration. What would you two like for dinner tonight? We'll get something out of the cellar to go with it."
>Your lungs deflate at your mother's thinly veiled attempt to determine Luna's age.
>Luckily, it's not a subject the Princess is touchy about, which is lucky, considering the number in question has four digits.
"I'd say a veggie stir fry, if that's alright with you, Luna?"
>She turns briefly to you, nodding silently as she watches the results of her work.
>Namely, the beaming smile on your father's face.
>"That, and maybe some of the good stuff you two keep under those tiles in the cellar."
>Your parents glance at one another and grin a bit, then your dad turns to you, trying to suppress said grin.
>"No idea at all what you're talking about. We absolutely don't keep any alcohol under the floor of our cellar."
>Now they both bust out laughing, and your dad steps over to pat you on the back.
>"Sure, no problem. Just don't start on your jar too early into dinner. You won't be able to taste anything if you do."
>You roll your eyes, stepping into the living room with your father and sliding into the couch opposite his recliner.
>Luna hops up beside you, curling up and laying on the next cushion in her usual adorable fashion.
>She rests her head on your knee, and you lean back as your dad begins the inevitable interrogation.
>"So, how long have you two known each other?"
>You think back a bit, trying to discern the first day you met, but it was actually almost a year ago to the day, considering that was when you went through to Equestria.
"About a year. We've been dating for two months, if that's what you mean."
>He nods, seemingly in approval.
>"And, erm, how long have you been back?"
>This one requires notably less thought on your part.
"One day. Just long enough to get customs paperwork done and clear Luna through that little encampment they set up around the portal. Luckily, the Equestrians are political allies now, so they were more or less inclined to release one of the Princesses."
>As you speak, you instinctively move your hand over to Luna's neck, resting it on her collarbone.
>Your dad nods once again, leaning back in his armchair.
>"And you two are happy?"
>You give a single, definite nod in reply.
>"Well, I've got no objections. I wish you two the best."
>You're almost positive this is some of the happiness from his earlier detox session talking, but you're relieved to see how easygoing he was going to be.
>Your mother, on the other hand...
>Well, no point in worrying about that yet.
>Her tradition was to chase away your prospects for a relationship after the first dinner, and to be fair, Luna was over 1000 years old.
>You found it difficult to believe that your mother would throw anything at her she'd never seen or heard.
>And so, with that comforting thought in your head, you lean back against the couch and doze off.
>You're not sure how long you're asleep, but by the time you wake up, the delicious mixture of Worcestershire sauce and honey barbeque.
>Clearly, your mother hasn't lost the touch.
>You almost leap up, but quickly realize you still have the head of a sleeping pony on your leg.
>Gonna have to Indiana Jones it, then.
>You reach gingerly across the couch, grabbing ahold of a firm pillow and placing it directly beside your leg.
>As you slide from underneath Luna, you replace your thigh with your hand, and subsequently your hand with the pillow, never moving her head more than a centimeter.
>You take a moment to grin down at her before stepping into the kitchen to meet with your mother.
>You make it about two feet in before you are nearly knocked off your feet by a ball of maternal anger.
>She's got you pinned against the counter, whispering in the angriest fashion possible.
>"Are you SERIOUS? You told me that the next time we met, you were going to be engaged. But a HORSE?"
>donewiththis.exe
"Well, mother..."
>Her eyes bulge notably as the sarcasm drips off of your voice.
"For starters, I didn't lie. I came back, I'm engaged. Secondly, she's not a horse. She's a pony. Thirdly, you married dad after the third date. I've been dating Luna for six months now, so I think I might actually be an authority on how good she is for me. And finally, don't you DARE try and split her up from humanity because she looks different. I'd be willing to bet she's a smarter, wiser, and kinder person than anyone in this house, and most of the people in this city."
>Your mother blinks for a moment in shocked silence, stepping back away from you and staring.
>You take a deep breath, coming down from your anger high.
"I'm sorry, mom. But she's my fiancé, and you're not going to change that."
>Your mother nods, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
>"So I see. You really do care about her, don't you?"
"I do. She means just as much to me as dad means to you."
>Your mom considers this prospect for a few moments, nodding slowly.
>"Alright, then. You might want to let them know dinner's just about ready."
>You nod, still a bit on edge, but more willing to let go of a bit of your anger.
>You step into the living room again, leaning down toward Luna and running a hand through her mane.
"Time to get up, Nightlight."
>You smirk as you remember giving her that pet name, for the way her horn throws off light while she dreams.
>She mumbles for a few seconds before lifting her head and placing a peck on your nose.
>"Mmm, something smells absolutely delicious. Allow me to go congratulate your mother on her superb cooking skills."
>You follow behind the beautiful mare as she moves toward the kitchen, punching your dad in the thigh as you go.
>He grumbles, waking quickly and sitting up to follow you.
>As you enter the kitchen you instinctively make a beeline for the silverware drawer, grabbing a group of forks, spoons, and knives and moving over to the table, setting them up quickly.
>Just as you finish, your mother steps over to the table with a massive skillet, the contents of which she proceeds to split between the four plates.
>"Alright, dinner is served!"
>You pull out a chair for Luna, only taking your own seat once she sits.
>Without another word, you all lift your forks, Luna with magic, and begin eating.
>The meal goes in silence for about ten minutes before you each take a moment to lean back, glancing around the table.
>One thing you've learned, Luna doesn't have as much experience at formal occasions as her sister, and is notably shyer.
>Your mother, on the other hand...
>"So, where were you two planning on having this surprise ceremony of yours?"
>Could she have possibly been a bit more blunt about it?
>Luna doesn't seem to mind, though, and perks right up with an answer.
>"Anon and I are going to be having the wedding on the partition leading to the portal. We've already made arrangements for traffic to be redirected, although that was his idea."
>You shrug, feeling no real need to justify not wanting to have cars zooming over your head during one of the most important days of your life.
>"The ceremony will be on this side of the portal, the reception will be on the other. As I recall, my sister has brought in two ponies by the names of Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich to plan the whole thing once we pass through. I'm quite looking forward to it."
>Your mother nods, obviously not satisfied but sated for the moment, giving you enough time to press your own questions.
"So, mom, how have you and dad been?"
>She blinks for a moment as her mind switches gears, lifting up the jar of clear liquid before her and taking a small sip before cutting it immediately with a sip of apple juice from the plastic cup beside it.
>Before she can reply, Luna turns to you and begs a quick question.
>"So sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't help but notice how sparingly you're all drinking this...ahem, drink. Is there something special about it?"
>You lift your own jar, swilling it around for a second before tipping it up a bit, feeling the explosive burn in the back of your throat.
"Special? Well, you might say that..."
>Your parents glance over at you, clearly in disapproval of what you're about to say.
"Technically, it's illegal, since we received it across state lines. This stuff is called moonshine, specifically, North Carolina White Lightning. A lot of people consider this to be the strongest alcohol that humans can partake of. That...is why we're taking it slow. I watched someone down a jar of this in three minutes one time. He slept for three days straight."
>Luna takes a cautious glance at the jar, lifting it to her nose and sniffing.
>Her eyebrows shoot up, but they don't stay that way.
>After a second's hesitation, she tips the jar back and takes a huge gulp of the liquid.
>Every pair of eyes at the table bulge, including hers, as she forces down the moonshine, tablespoon by horrific tablespoon.
>As she finally works down the last of it, she reaches for her apple juice, tipping it back and draining the entire glass in ten seconds.
>She replaces it on the table, her eyes watering and a flush spreading through her face.
>"My apologies...the only alcoholic beverages I'd ever heard of came from either Manehattan as a wheat brew, or the Apple family farm as hard cider. I had no idea anypony could produce such a...substance."
>Against your best will and judgement, you begin to chuckle a bit, leaning over and placing her hoof on your forehead as your chuckling devolves into mad laughter alongside your parents.
>"What's so funny?"
>You slow down, sensing a bit of legitimate confusion in her voice.
"No-nothing. It's just...whew. Your face was absolutely priceless."
>She grins a bit, shaking her head and returning to her stir fry.
>As your laughter subsides, you do the same, polishing off the plate quickly and placing the dishes in the sink as the whole family migrates to the living room.
>You immediately head over to the couch, leaning back and allowing Luna to curl up on your chest as your father switches on the TV.
>Luna begins to purr again for a few seconds, but she stops almost immediately when your father switches on a game of football.
That's American Football, sorry to anyone who gets up in arms over that.
>"Anon, what is this?"
>You follow her gaze, and she definitely seems worried about what she's seeing.
"What's wrong?"
>"Those...those humans. Why are they attacking each other?"
>You chuckle, sitting up just enough to look her in the eyes.
"They're not, at least not really. The whole thing is a game. The idea is for one team to get the ball into the zone on the opposite end of the field. The other team tries to stop them. It's as simple as that, really."
>She glances over at the TV again, a bit uneasily this time, and you take a quick breath.
"Dad, Mom, I think Luna and I are gonna head to bed."
>They both glance over, a bit of worried expression on their faces, but they nod, cuing you to stand and head out, Luna trotting along behind you.
>Up the stairs, you instinctively walk straight to your bedroom, which has been refurbished with a full size bed and a rather generic bedroom suit that you can't complain about.
>Luna steps over to the window, throwing it open, and gasps.
"What's wrong?"
>You hear her chuckle under her breath, then she closes the window again.
>"Nothing, really. It's just...the moon."
>Right, you'd anticipated that.
>Ponies weren't overly used to the prospect of natural occurrences in weather, or even the passage of time.
"You okay?"
>She turns, nodding, and you notice that the blush has come back into her cheeks.
"Sure about that?"
>"Don't tease me, Anon. I'm just..."
>hiccup.wav
>"Not entirely used to your Earthen alcohol."
>Yeah, you were kind of expecting it to hit her soon.
>She drank more than the rest of you combined at the table, and once she stood up from the couch, everything hit her.
"Tell you what, you lay down, I'll be there in a minute."
>She opts to take your advice, sliding into bed and getting up under the poofy comforter that your mother probably made.
>After a quick slip into the bathroom to brush your teeth, you toss all your clothes except your underwear to the corner, quickly shimmying into the bed beside her and rolling over to look at her.
>You just stare for a few moments, watching her lay there until she turns to you as well.
>"Anon?"
"Right here."
>"Do you...do you think that we'll be happy together?"
>You roll over, facing toward the ceiling for a moment.
>The question is one that plagues every relationship, this much you're sure of.
>That being said, you decide to let your hearts determine the answer.
>You roll over again, facing her once more, and lean in to her.
>Her horn presses up against your forehead, and you extend one arm, wrapping it around her shoulder.
"I tell you what, Luna. Close your eyes, and I'll close mine. You can let my dreams answer that for you."
>She grins, but you can already see her eyelids drifting shut from the fatigue of the day.
>Not wanting to keep her waiting, you quickly follow suit, falling almost immediately into the ever-sweetening embrace of the night.
>Your dream is familiar from the start, with you sitting on a park bench with a mixture of people and ponies walking past.
>You lean back, breathing in the mist and watching as groups of people break off from the crowd and split into two groups with a gap in the middle.
>You feel a slight tingling across your body as your clothes begin to change.
>As it happens, you watch the crowd turn to the center of the newly formed aisle, watching as a white-clad mare steps down, accompanied by a small green dragon.
>She reaches the end of the aisle after a few moments of walking and turns to the side in front of a small man in a dark green suit.
>Instinctively, you rise from the bench and straighten the suit that your dream has forged from your street clothes.
>You can't suppress a huge grin as you step down the aisle, coming to a halt in front of the bride.
>You reach one hand out, gingerly lifting the veil on her face and revealing the beautiful dark mare.
"Well, what do you think?"
>She smiles, tears of joy in her eyes.
>"I never get tired of this dream."
>The priest beside you begins, skipping immediately to the important part.
>Anonymous, do you swear to all extent of your mortal soul that you shall love and care for this mare, as long as you both shall live?"
>You take a breath, nodding as you answer.
"I love you, Luna. Hundreds upon thousands of years from now, that fact will not have changed. I do."
>She swallows, clearly ecstatic.
>But just as she opens her mouth to reply, you are both rattled awake in bed by the sound of a massive explosion.
>Already very annoyed, and just slightly worried, you slide out of bed alongside Luna and grab a robe off of the closet door on your way to the hall.
>As soon as you reach the door, you recognize a sentence from downstairs that forces you to clench your fists.
>"I'm back."
>Your parents are, at three in the morning, watching Terminator 3 on full blast volume.
>You storm down the stairs, smacking a hand into the wall as you enter the living room to alert them of your presence.
>Immediately, your father smashes the mute button and glances subtly over at your mother, as if to say 'her idea, not mine.'
"What's going on down here?"
>Your mother puts on her best innocent voice, although you can clearly see the maternal malice behind her façade.
>"Nothing, dear. Just watching a movie, like we always do at night."
"The most violent movie we own? On 100% volume? Mom, I'm not an idiot. Apparently, however, we need to have a discussion to prove that to you."
>You step into the living room, parking yourself on one end of the loveseat.
>Luna follows, opting to nestle herself in the crevasse between the cushions and place her head on your knee rather than just take the other cushion.
"Now, look. I've been dating Luna for six months, and you really think I haven't told her about humanity's history with violence?"
>Your mother purses her lips a bit, but is ready with a comeback.
>"I just want to make sure you're both going into this fully aware of your choices."
>You open your mouth to reply, but Luna pipes up instead.
>"I am definitely apprised of what awaits, should Anonymous and I continue down this path. I understand that humanity has a somewhat...tumultuous history, more so than Equestria, but I also don't view him automatically as a representative for all of your people, or vice versa. Anon is his own man, and by all rights I simply wish to be a mare to match."
>Your mother seems a bit shocked at this statement.
 
>You can't help but smirk just a bit at your mother's dumbfounded expression, and you lean back in your chair, wrapping one arm around Luna.
>Uh oh, she doesn't seem to be done yet.
>"You two aren't even the same species!"
>You sit in silence for a moment, frankly glad that one of them finally addressed the elephant in the room.
"I know, Mom. I know, and I don't care."
>She stares at you a bit incredulously, but you continue.
"I can't tell you how many times it went through my head that something was wrong here, that there was some horrible twist to all of this. For months, I looked for it, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never did. Now, you can face up to this, because it took me quite a while to. I'm marrying Luna with or without your blessing, so you can either choose to let go of one detail, or you can make yourself miserable worrying over us and what might go wrong."
>She gulps, her breathing increasing notably in speed, and finally she plants an dust in the arm of the couch, standing quickly and storming up the stairs.
>You sigh, realizing that this may take a while.
"Well, that went well."
>She'll stay up there for a while, trying to comprehend all these changes, and then she'll be back to normal.
>You glance over at Luna worryingly, nuzzling her mane.
>She's going to have quite a few tests ahead of her.
 
>After a few moments of awkward silence, you nudge Luna a bit, signaling her that it's time to head back upstairs.
>She blinks up at you, clearly sleepy, and you pick her up gingerly.
>With a single motion, you roll both arms forward, allowing her to nestle against you, supported by your forearms.
>She nuzzles her head against your chest, purring softly again, and you can't help but smirk at your parents' attempts to not grin at the sheer adorableness that is Luna.
>Without another word, you turn toward the stairs and step straight back up them, moving to your room and nestling Luna in bed, putting her on your side this time, as it's still warm.
>She rolls once, twice, then finally settles into her little sleeping rhythm, breathing only one breath for your two, and squeaking just a bit with each exhale.
>You sit and watch this for a while, thinking back on your first meeting and your mother's expression from moments ago.
>The next week is going to be nothing but a test for her, one that you know your mom won't hold back on.
>You extend one arm, gently running your fingers through Luna's mane and sighing.
"You can do it."
>She grins a bit in her sleep, and before you can draw your hand away, she rolls once again, tucking it under herself like a stuffed animal.
>You take a moment to decipher your new situation, and eventually decide to step all the way over her, not moving your hand, and lay next to her, wrapping your body around her own.
>Between the two of you, there's a bubble of warmth underneath the comforter as you pull it over you, wrapping your free arm around your little Princess.
>Your dreams are somewhat generic for the rest of the night, nothing you've never seen before, although going through them with Luna definitely serves to make them much better.
>As soon as you wake up, though, you can't help but notice that you're alone in bed.
>The back side of your mind throws all gears into panic as you think of what dastardly scheme your mother has committed, but you maintain a calm façade as you make your way downstairs once again to the living room.
>As soon as you enter the room, it hits you.
>Eggs.
>Bacon.
>Biscuits.
>Pepper Gravy.
>The breakfast of kings, and there's a little bit of humming coming from in the kitchen, a song that only one person would know.
>"Winter wrap-up, winter wrap up..."
>You slide into the kitchen, Tom Cruise style in your socks, and there's Luna, flipping the eggs.
>"Oh, good morning, Anon. You slept well."
>She has a habit of stating that last bit instead of asking, since she's kind of the designator there.
"I did. You're making breakfast."
>"I am."
"A human breakfast."
>"Yes, and?"
"How do you even know how to cook eggs?"
>She smirks at you as the skillet lifts from the stove, tilting over three big plates and depositing two perfectly fried eggs on both of them.
>"I may be a Princess, Anon, but I also lived on my own for a thousand years. I had plenty of time to teach myself some skills."
>You shrug, your attention slowly being diverted by the scent of the ambrosia being spawned from the stove.
>Luna continues to cook and hum along, switching songs with no real pattern.
>Before you realize it, she's putting the last touches on the meal and drawing silverware from the drawer.
>"You might want to call your family, Anon."
"Right."
>You slide back into the living room, cupping both hands to your mouth.
"COME AND GET IT!"
>It takes a few moments for your parents to come down the stairs, still a bit bleary-eyed, but they both seem pleasantly surprised at breakfast already being on the table. Your mother nods at you appreciatively, but you direct her gaze to Luna, who is just now sliding off her apron and moving in on the table with the rest of you.
>Your mother's mouth scrunches a bit, but the smell of the food wins her over and she slides into a chair as you pull one out for Luna.
>"Why, thank you, Anon."
"My pleasure, Princess."
>You wink at her playfully as she rolls her eyes.
>For months she's been telling you to call her by her actual name, but seeing the little smirk when you address her by her title is worth it.
"Well, let's dig in, shall we?"
>The table is silent for a few moments as everyone begins to eat, but it isn't long before your mother resumes her interrogation.
>"So, Luna...you have a sister, am I right?"
>Luna glances up from her plate, swallowing a mouthful of biscuits and gravy before answering.
>"You are. She was the one who made first contact with your President."
>"So, what does she do?"
>You are left dumbfounded at how thinly veiled your mother's attempts to drill for information are, but Luna is unfazed as always.
>"She is the Princess of the Sun, one of Equestria's three primary rulers, alongside myself and Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>Your dad almost chokes on his bacon at the last name, clearly struggling not to laugh.
>"Is everything alright?"
>He nods, swallowing and taking a deep breath.
>"Yeah, it's just...Your people have a very interesting system of naming their children. How do you get names like that?"
>Luna thinks on it for a moment, then looks back to him.
>"Now that I think about it, I'm not sure anypon-anybody knows how exactly it works. Most just call it parental instinct."
>You chuckle a bit at her attempt to save her pronoun.
>For a week, at least, she was trying to get with English in her methods of addressing people indirectly.
>Luna tilts her head at your father.
>"How do your people name their children? I know Anon isn't the most common name, but I'm sure you must have some system."
>Your father shakes his head.
>"Nope, not really. We just wing it, go with a name we like."
>Luna grins a bit and takes another bite as your father thinks on this.
>While he's thinking, your mother resumes, having used her break to polish off her plate in record time.
>"So, your sister is in charge of the sun in your world?"
>It's strange, but you can feel a bit of hostility in her voice, and you can't find its origin.
>"Yes, she is. I keep watch over the night and the dreams of all of Equestria's inhabitants. Twilight Sparkle is in charge of maintaining peace and friendship throughout the kingdom, and Princess Cadence keeps watch over the Crystal Empire to the north."
>You watch as your parents slowly slip into cluelessness, and it isn't until Luna finishes speaking that she notices as well.
>"Oh, of course. Allow me to clear the table, and I can make this a bit easier for you."
>Just as you and your father take your last bite, the plates levitate off of the table and into the sink in the kitchen.
>Luna's horn sparks, and a glowing layer of light appears on top of the dining room table, lighting it up as a topographical map of the land of Equestria.
>Luna stands from the table, stretching her back and standing up on her hind legs to give your cheek a peck before stepping off into the kitchen.
>"I can get the dishes washed, you two feel free to study that map. It might make some of the references a bit easier for you."
>Your mother blinks for a moment, clearly conflicted, but she sighs and looks down at the map, studying it along with your father as you slide out of your chair and follow Luna.
>They're already muttering as you meet her in the kitchen, standing on her hind hooves and watching as her magical aura scrubs the residual food off of the plates.
 
>You place your hands on her ribs, sliding them up and down her sides between her hips and the bottoms of her arms.
>"So, how do you think they're coming along?"
>You shake your head and immediately bury it in her mane, placing your chin on her shoulder and closing your eyes, muttering through her thick, pine-scented hair.
"Don't worry about them for a few minutes. Just you and me. Need help?"
>"No, I'm done."
>You chuckle a little, amazed at how fast she can get these things done.
"Then come here."
>You place a hand on her shoulder and spin her around, taking in all of her beauty for a few seconds before bringing her in and burying your head in her mane once again as your lips meet.
>The whole thing seems to take only a mere second, but by the time you draw your tongue from her muzzle, your parents are bothe standing in the kitchen door with the most awkward possible look on their faces.
>pokerface.png
>"You two need a room?"
>You pull away reluctantly, standing beside her and keeping one hand on her head as she falls back into four legs, a massive blush coming into her face.
>"No, no. My greatest apologies if we made you uncomfortable..."
>Your mother opens her mouth to speak, but before she gets a chance to throw even more questions at Luna, you throw out a suggestion.
"Hey, I've got an idea? Luna, have you ever been to a mall?"
 
>You step into the garage, flipping the lightswitch on and glancing around, taking in the musty scent that used to fill your nostrils on a daily basis.
>Right in the middle of it all sits your first love, a '78 Mustang Shelby GT, still as beautiful as the day you left.
"What do you think, Luna?"
>She walks a quick circle around the car, looking it up and down in awe.
>"It's beautiful, Anon. Much nicer than the taxi we came here in."
>You laugh aloud, stepping over to the passenger side and opening a door for her.
"That's because I spent three years working on this car every day. She's practically my firstborn."
>Luna turns to you abruptly, one eyebrow raised.
>"She?"
>Whoops, more human terminology.
"Sorry. Humans have a tendency to refer to vehicles and the like in the female tense. It shows a sense of bonding to whatever it is we're talking about."
>She thinks on it for a moment, then nods and slides into the seat.
>As the leather squeaks beneath her, she blushes.
>"That wasn't me, I promise."
>fortykeks.jpeg
"I believe you. You're more used to a velvet seat."
>You slip into the driver's seat and flip the key ring once around your finger before sliding the key into the ignition effortlessly and giving it one turn.
>The V8 beast roars to life, causing Luna to cringe backward from the dash a bit until you place a hand on the back of her seat, comforting her with your grip.
>You place a hand on the steering wheel, and you can swear the car senses your touch, falling into a low idle immediately.
"There we go."
>You pull backwards out of the garage, feeling the engine growl beneath you.
>As soon as you're on the road, you tap a small series of buttons on the dash.
>Luna squeaks audibly as the seat beneath her begins to warm itself, but it doesn't take long for her to adjust to the new comfort, and soon she is curled up in the seat, purring away and clearly struggling to keep her eyes open.
"So, you like it?"
>She blinks the fatigue of bliss from her eyes momentarily and glances up at you, nodding dreamily.
>"Yeeeeesss, Anon. This is very nice."
>Her head hits the seat again, and while the opportunity to watch her sleep again is definitely tempting, she should probably be awake when you arrive.
>You punch the cd dial and lift the bass to 7.
>UptownFunk.mp3
>Luna shoots up in her seat, looking around worriedly until she realizes that the noise is coming from the speakers beside her.
"Relax, Luna. This is just a larger version of that Ipod that I showed you earlier. We can both listen to it."
>She takes a moment to adjust to the rhythmic bouncing, and as the first chorus rolls around you can see her nodding her head to the beat in your peripherals.
>Alright, time to give her the full joyride experience.
>You roll down your window, throwing your head out of it as the sound of the music disappears behind your car.
"WOOOOOOOO!"
>You draw yourself back in, exhilarated by the little adrenaline rush, and turn to Luna, who is very clearly confused by everything that just happened.
>"Are you sure you're alright, Anon?"
"Never better, Luna. Give it a try."
>She glances at you skeptically, and you can't help but sigh.
"Trust me, Luna. I've never steered you wrong before."
>"If you insist..."
>She rolls down the window by use of magic and sticks her head out of it somewhat slowly, and then it hits her.
>"WOOOOHOOOOO!"
>She draws herself back into the car, panting heavily for a moment before turning to you and blushing heavily.
>You continue along for another ten minutes, with Luna constantly switching the radio dial and humming to any station that isn't a commercial.
>By the time you find a parking spot at the mall, the possible repercussions of this excursion are weighing on you, but a quick pat of your jacket pocket and a glance at Luna's eager expression convinces you otherwise.
>You slip out of the car, opening her door for her and watching as a small family passes by, their little girl gawking at the Princess of the Night.
>"Mommy, look! A unicorn!"
>The mother chuckles for a minute until she glances back at you and Luna, and then her eyes begin to bulge.
>Luna, friendly as she is, lifts a hoof and waves, causing the girl to squeak and wave back while the mother continues to stare in awe as you pass by, strolling toward the door.
>As soon as you're inside, Luna begins looking around, taking in all the details as best she could through the crowds.
>"Incredible...Anon, such structures are unheard of in Equestria, with the exception of our castle. You said that all major cities have one of these?"
"Well, almost all. And some have more than one. This isn't even close to being the biggest."
>After a few more moments taking in the sights, Luna trots over to you and opens her mouth to ask a question.
>She is interrupted, however, by a security guard, probably fifty years old, with his arms crossed and his eyes glancing angrily between you and Luna.
>"No pe-"
>Before he can finish the incredibly insulting sentence, you dig into your jacket and dig out a letter.
>The stationery printed on the envelope alone is enough to get his attention, as it reads, 'From The Desk Of The President.'
>He flips it open, perusing it quickly, and he begins to shake a bit as he hands it back to you.
>"R-right, then. You have a fine day, Mr. Ambassador. You as well, Princess."
"I plan on it. You too."
>He nods again and steps past you, his hand already shooting down to his radio.
>Without another thought of it, you step forward toward the middle of the mall, Luna trotting along next to you and attracting looks from pretty much everyone.
>"So, Anon. What exactly does one do in a mall?"
"I think the better question would be what you can't do in a mall. Shopping, getting your hair done, eating, or just hanging out. Pretty much whatever you want to do."
>She thinks on this prospect for a moment, then turns to you again.
>"I think I would like to try getting my mane styled. Dozens of Canterlot stylists have worked with it, but the manes of Celestia and myself are apparently a bit singleminded in how they choose to flow. Perhaps your Earth stylists can do a bit more."
>Fair enough. She's gonna get the best, then.
>You take her across a quarter section of the mall to the salon, probably the best in town, truth be told.
>Your mom has told stories of the ladies that worked here, how they'd shown such skill with hair as to be called on more than once to work at national beauty pageants.
As soon as you enter, Luna rushes to the front desk, hopping up on two legs and looking the receptionist right in the eye.
>Said receptionist does the natural thing and leans back, not yelling at all, but not squeaking in her throat.
>You rush to catch up, placing your own hands on the counter as well.
>"May I...help you?"
"Absolutely, ma'am. My fiancé here would like the best you've got, the full nine yards."
>She glances uneasily at Luna for a moment, then her eyes light up.
>"Oh! Are you that ambassador guy?"
>sigh.wav
"I am."
>"Oh, of course! No problem, come on back, Princess."
>Luna glances from you to her, then shrugs and follows the receptionist back to a chair.
>"They'll be with you momentarily."
>After a minute or two, two sixty year old ladies step from behind a curtain in the back, take one glance at Luna, then turn to the receptionist.
>After a quick silent conversation, they finally understand, and immediately turn to Luna.
>"Alrighty, then. What can we do for you, sugar?"
>Luna flips a bit of her mane back from her face before speaking.
>"I've had this constantly floating around my face for a thousand years. I'd like to see what you could do with it."
>They nod wordlessly, and Luna turns to you, her horn sparking once.
>The curtain between the reception area and the main room draws closed, leaving you anxious as you take a seat in one of the ten pleather chairs against the opposite wall.
>For what seems like literally days you wait, listening as buzzers and scissors preform their nefarious duties beyond your view.
>Two other customers come and go, both making appointments for later rather than bother with whatever was going on back there, and as the second one leaves you decide that you can't take it anymore.
>Just as you stand from your chair, the curtains fly open, revealing both of the old ladies.
>They grin, nodding once and speaking in unison as if they'd trained for this for years.
>"Presenting...Princess Luna."
>They step aside like a second set of curtains.
>jawdrop.exe
>Not an hour ago, you could have placed everything you owned on the prospect that you were engaged to the most beautiful creature on the physical plane.
>You would now bet everything you own, as well as the possessions of your family and friends, because there is no doubt.
>She had them give her a bob cut, leaving her mane just above her eyes.
>She slowly raises her stare from the ground, directing it to you, and immediately falls into an adorable blush.
>"Do...do you like it?"
>You step forward, sweeping her up in your arms and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
"I love it. Absolutely perfect."
>She returns your kiss and you set her weight on your hips.
"And I mean everything beneath the haircut, too."
>You both step out of the salon after leaving a payment off of the government credit card given to you alongside the exemption notice that had terrified the security guard.
>"So, what should we do now, Anon?"
"Your choice. This is your first time at a mall."
>She turns a circle, and suddenly her nose perks up.
>"What is that smell?"
>For a second you think she's smelling the food court, which terrifies you a bit, but then the sweet scent hits you as well, and you remember.
"Right, come on. Can't have a mall trip without a Great American Cookie."
>You round the corner, Luna at your heels, and as soon as she sees the counterfull of cookies, she gasps.
"What kind would you like?"
>She makes no sound, but simply gestures at the double chocolate chip.
"Fine choice. Excuse me, can I get two double chocs and a Coke?"
>Within a minute, your order is filled, and you take a seat at one of the little table in the middle of the huge hall.
>Luna, rather than bite directly into her treat, takes her time, nibbling and nomming on it, grinning almost insensibly.
>"This is incredible, Anon. Almost everyone in Equestria would consider this a paradise beyond measure."
>You grin, taking a quick sip of the soda and sliding it across to her.
>"What is this?"
"It's a drink called Coca-cola. Most of the time we call it Coke. Try some."
>She places her mouth on the straw and you wait for a moment until her eyes pop a bit and she draws her head back, swallowing with some difficulty.
"You like it?"
>She coughs once, then takes a breath.
>"Do all humans drink this Coke?"
"A pretty decent number of us. Around here, you'd be hard pressed to find someone that doesn't drink Coke or something like it."
>She wipes her mouth and begins eating a bit faster, clearly excited about learning more.
>You notice her eying the group of stores nearest you, the American Eagle, Spencer's, and GameStop.
>Hopefully she'll allow you a bit of sway in what she sees just yet...
>As she finishes her cookie, you toss your trash into the nearest can and stand, looking around for something she might actually enjoy.
>The movie theater was all the way down the walkway, and it looked like there was a blood drive in front of it.
>On your other side, the Build-A-Bear shop and a group of bookstores.
"Ideas, Luna?"
>"What do they mean by building a bear?"
"Oh...well, you wanna go see?"
>Before even responding, she trots off toward the store, leaving you to follow this time.
>By the time you catch up to her, she's being ogled once again by a group of young girls and their parents.
>She doesn't seem to notice, however, and immediately starts looking around, checking each corner thoroughly.
>"I'm assuming that the sign was referred to stuffed bears, Anon?"
>You let a small chuckle slip through.
"That'd be correct, Luna."
>Your reply is lost on her, however, as she seems to be staring at a single point on a shelf just out of your view.
"Everything alright, Luna?"
>You step around to see what she's seeing, and then it hits you.
>The plush looks exactly like her.
>"Is there something I should know, Anon?"
"Not really. There seem to be a lot of weird parallels between Earth and Equestria, and I think that there's a television show that mirrors Equestria rather well."
>She thinks on this for a second, then shrugs and grabs up the Celestia plush.
>"This will certainly put my sister off when we get home."
>As she steps forward to the counter, you take a deep breath.
>Bullet successfully dodged.
>You follow her, surprised at the lack of strange looks she's attracting from the staff.
>That guard must have told almost everyone working in the mall by now.
>After a quick swipe, you have a small parcel hanging from your right arm.
 
>For the next half hour, you work at steering Luna toward the west end of the mall.
>You have to practically drag her past groups of fashion and book stores.
>Finally, there is only one obstacle left.
>The food court.
"Luna, you might want to hold your nose."
>She looks up at you curiously.
"It's going to smell like cooking meat going through here."
>She takes a deep breath, then sets her eyes forward.
>"I can handle it."
"You sure?"
>Without a reply, she steps into the huge room, with you following close behind.
>She takes three steps before you see her cheeks puff out a bit, and you rush forward, picking her up under one arm and jogging toward the opposite side of the area.
>Halfway there, you glance down and notice that she's definitely looking a bit green.
>You spin around a sample vendor and skid to a halt next to a water fountain, slamming the button with your hip and holding Luna just over the stream of water.
>She sips for a moment before fluttering herself out of your grip.
"You alright?"
>"Either answer would be debatable. Meat has a much stronger smell than eggs."
"Preaching to the choir. Call me a savage, but that place smells amazing."
>She gives you a look that seems to be a hybrid between surprise and disgust.
"Relax, it's not like I relapsed in Equestria or anything. Anyway, you up to a bit more walking?"
>"I suppose. What did we go all the way across that dreadful place for?"
>You gesture behind her, and she gasps a bit as she turns to look at the massive Macy's.
>As you walk into the store, the first thing you do is point out a group of early-release summer clothes to Luna.
>She trots over to look at them, leaving you to rush over to customer service, whopping a hand into your back pocket and withdrawing another slip of paper as you reach the desk.
"Excuse me, ma'am...I believe there should be two things here for me."
>She glances at the paper, nodding.
>"Yeah, we got a lot of questions around the whole store. Apparently the President himself received a letter about this, something about foreign relations with that new world they found. Anyway, here you go. The measurements wet a bit weird, but we got it in this morning."
>She lays two bags on the counter, which you eagerly pick up and thank her for before turning around.
>You make a beeline for Luna, who has somehow found her way into the swimwear section and is trying unsuccessfully to slip into a pair of black swimming trunks.
"Ahem."
>She glances up at you and squeaks, tossing the shorts to the side haphazardly as if to fool you.
"Try this on for size. In there."
>You point to one of the dressing rooms in the back and she walks off, leaving you to enter the room adjacent to her.
>As quickly as possible, you slide out of your flannel Henley and khakis into a freshly starched, crisply pressed Armani suit.
>You're not married yet, but it's already good to be the king.
>You step out of the dressing room, taking a deep breath, and losing every ounce of air in your lungs once again as Luna's door swings open.
>There she is, dressed in a dark blue velvet dress, hugging her stomach and accenting her coat perfectly.
>Dhe grins at you sheepishly until she realizes that you're just blatantly staring.
>"What's wrong, never seen a mare before?"
"I thought I had."
>The response takes her by surprise, leaving you with the upper hand momentarily.
"The real question is whether you want to take that dress for a test run."
>"What did you have in mind?"
>Since you're already on the west side of the mall, you decide to exit from the Macy's and into the street.
>Just across the street, your favorite club still stands, a three hour line out the door.
>The massive doorman, having known you and your new assignment as Equestrian ambassador, steps aside and allows you in immediately.
>Once inside, you immediately hear http://youtu.be/qpgTC9MDx1o, and shake your head.
>It's a dance club, no doubt, but you won't have Luna uncomfortable trying to deal with music that's strange to her.
>You lift her onto a barstool and indicate for her wait for a moment before stepping to the very back, right into the DJ booth.
>He shakes his head as you whisper your song choice into his ear, but a mixture of the solid gold Bits of Equestria and a few Franklins rapidly gets his head moving more vertically.
>As you step back to the bar, Luna is absentmindedly spinning a drink umbrella under one hoof.
>You silently lift one of her hooves as the former music stops, and move her to the center of the floor, standing her up and placing her back hooves on top of your feet and her right hoof in your left hand, feeling her frog press against your palm.
>Your right hand rests on her ribs, as her hips are a bit too low to reach without being awkward, and her left hoof finds purchase wrapped around your back as the song begins to play.
>The floor seems to clear around you as you begin to spin her to the music.
http://youtu.be/YyknBTm_YyM
>With every sweep of the melody, you lift her from the ground just a bit.
>As it takes a more steady tone, you step back and forth to every other beat, allowing her only enough time to keep up as she finally catches on and gets with the rhythm herself, a wide smile spreading across her face.
>Once the music begins devolving into chaos, you take her over one shoulder, spinning about for a moment before dipping her all the way under your legs and pulling her straight back, releasing her hooves and backing into the darkness as the song slows.
>For a moment she loses her bearings, glancing around for you until you reappear, trying your best to look dark and sultry.
>She rushes into your arms, spinning about for a moment before coming to a halt with the song.
>You retrace your steps back to the center of the floor, giving her a quick peck on the lips before lifting her completely and stepping over to a nearby table and hopping onto it as the music reaches its climax.
>You step like mad, keeping in constant motion equal to hers as the violins blare like mad, panting now to keep up with her until it comes to its sudden halt.
>With the last minor chords, you pull her in, taking a long, soft kiss and lifting her in your arms, hopping off the table as the song finally ends completely.
>You take a few moments to sit at the bar, catching your breath for a moment before turning to Luna, one eyebrow raised.
"How was that for a dance?"
>She nods, clearly exhilarated, and stands from her barstool.
"Where are you off too?"
>"Well, have you seen everything they have in here? I don't even know what this thing is!"
>She rushes over to the old claw machine in the corner, propping her hooves up on it and looking in at all the plush dolls.
"It's a crane game. Most people think they're impossible to win, but I trained with the best. Wanna see?"
>She nods eagerly, and you fish a quarter from your pocket and slip it into the machine.
>It whirs to life, and you start toward the middle of the field, dropping the claw almost immediately.
>It dips into the mountain of dolls, looking hopeless, but as it pulls up, two little eggs with faces in them are pressed against one another within the claw.
>They fall through into the prize slot, and Luna grabs them from within and holds them up.
>"They're adorable!"
"Keep 'em. I can't remember the last time I had a stuffed animal."
>She tucks the little eggs under her wings, and immediately her eyes light up again, this time looking at the pool tables.
>You let out a little sigh as you follow her over.
>This might be a long night, but it'll be worth it.
 
>You're a bit wary as you approach the pool table.
>It's surrounded by a group of surly-looking individuals who look like they either need a hug or a solid punch to the jaw.
>"So, how is this game played, Anon?"
>You lift a cue from the rack and step over to an empty table in the corner, slipping two quarters into the side and racking as quickly as possible, trying not to look like a complete idiot as you do so.
>You notice the group eying you and Luna, but until they make a move, there's nothing you can do.
"Alright, so what you want to do is use your cue like so..."
>You take aim at the head of table, giving the cue ball a solid smack and breaking across the back half of the table.
"The idea is to sink as many balls from your pattern as possible. Whoever gets one first gets that pattern."
>Well, here they come.
>Three representatives from the other table step over to the edge of your table, and it's clear to see a wad of cash in the leader's hand.
>"That was a fine break there, friend. You've obviously got some skill. Wanna put anything on it?"
>Before you get the opportunity to reply, Luna's eyes light up and she glances at you.
>"A wager? Definitely! What are you placing on it?"
>You look down at her in shocked silence.
"Ahem, Luna..."
>"I'll say...a hundred dollars to the winner."
>You blanch for a moment.
>"Come on, now. A nice suit like that, you're obviously carrying some scratch with you."
>Fair enough, and you can't disappoint Luna...
"Alright, I'm in. Rack 'em.".
>As soon as your cue meets the ball, you feel the worst possible outcome.
>It slips.
 
Power Gap
 
>You sit at one end of the table, dejected and completely blown away.
>You got perhaps half of your balls in before he took you for a spin, relieving you of a Franklin.
>"Well, that was a fine try, friend. Just bad luck, I suppose. Wanna go for another?"
>You shake your head, holding up your hands in surrender.
>Luna, on the other hand, props her hooves up on the table, leaving her solid silver hoof guards on display.
>"Wait just a minute! I think I've gotten a decent understanding of this game. I'd like to try you for another wager."
>Whilst blatantly ogling Luna's hoof guards, the man chuckles.
>"Would you now? And what exactly would you wager?"
>"I'll put all four of my hoof guards on wager. If I understand your money correctly, they're worth around four hundred American Dollars."
>The man nods, digging into his pocket and removing placing four hundreds at the head of the table.
>As he looks back, Luna is shaking her head.
>"Each."
>He glances at his comrades, grinning knowingly.
>Without hesitation, he slaps down twelve more, lifting his cue and chalking the tip.
>"Now, yours?"
>Luna removes her four hoof guards and places them next to the $1600.
>As soon as she puts them down, her horn sparks and a cue levitates over to her.
>She flashes you a quick wink, and suddenly everything gets clearer.
>"Now, let's play for real, shall we?"
>Luna steps to the head of the table, lining up her break shot and firing almost immediately.
>Balls scatter across the table like glass from a shattered window, sinking the 1 and 5 balls.
>You watch the gang's faces turn from confidence, to confusion, to panic, to anger as Luna keeps pressing the run.
>For seven shots, she never misses, sinking ball after ball in a nearly mechanical manner.
>Finally, she's left with nothing but the 8 ball.
>It's trapped in a group of stripes, and there seems to be no way of removing it without fouling and losing the game on technicalities.
>Once again, you've underestimated her.
>She lifts the back end of her cue and takes a careful shot, causing the cue ball to spin across the table, bouncing haphazardly off the other balls in the way and twirling right into the 8 ball.
>She replaces her cue casually as the little black ball falls into the corner pocket.
>As she lifts the $1600 and places it in your pocket, she gives you a quick smirk.
>"Come now, Anonymous. Equestria is at least developed enough to have discovered the wonderful game of billiards."
>She steps back into her hoof guards, leaving you speechless until the gang on the other side of the table voices your thoughts.
>"She hustled us! That little-"
>Despite your lack of any professional fighting knowledge, a protective instinct kicks in somewhere in your mind, and your cue seems to leap from its spot and find its tip at the man's throat.
"Be very careful what that next word is, friend.
>A few members of the group begin tapping their hips, and Luna taps yours.
>"Anon, I know how you love a good showdown, but I'd rather not have you bruised up on our big day."
>She raises a fair point, and after noticing how much heat you were up against, you decide to take the wise route and leave.
>You rush back out to the car, taking in the chilly night air as you do.
>Just now it begins to hit you with how tired you are.
>As you slide into the car, Luna looks at you excitedly.
>"Well, that was certainly an experience."
"That it was..."
>You slip the key into the ignition, and as the car growls to life, the clock on the radio alerts you that it is somehow almost midnight.
"How long were we in there?!"
>Your parents are almost guaranteed to be asleep by now.
>You lean back against the seat, glancing to the side.
>As you look out over the skyline, an idea strikes you.
>You throw the car into gear, and with a few quick motions, you're on the road again.
>"Where are we going now, Anon?"
"It's a surprise."
 
POWER GAP
 
>It takes longer than expected, but at 12:12 exactly, you pull up in front of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
>Luna steps from the car as the valet opens her door, gazing in awe at the huge structure.
>"Absolutely incredible..."
>You guide her inside, stepping to the front desk and reaching into your pocket.
"Penthouse suite, please."
>The girl at the desk raises an eyebrow, but at seeing the sixteen hundreds on the desk, her expression turns to normal quickly.
>"Of course."
>She places a key in your hand and gestures to an elevator in the corner of the lobby.
>You almost have to drag Luna along, she's so focused on the rest of the room.
>Once the doors of the elevator close, you press a knuckle to the 'P' button, and the car starts upward.
>When you reach the top, the doors slide open, revealing a single small hall with a door at the end.
>You step forward, sliding the key easily into the lock and throwing the door open.
>Luna simply stands there in shock and awe, her mouth gaping open.
>You step to the middle of the room, sweeping your arms around as Luna gazes in awe across the skyline.
>You watch a tear fall down her face as you pop the cork on the champagne bottle that had been chilled on the table.
"Nice?"
>"It...it's gorgeous. Anon, it's absolutely beautiful."
>You step over next to her, extending your arm with a glass of champagne in your hand.
"I agree. I'd say the only place you could find a better view would be a mirror."
>She glances over at you, a smile in her eyes.
>"What could I have done to deserve this?"
>You are silent as you sip on your champagne, stepping back and draping your suit shirt and jacket over a chair.
"I knew you'd love the view. Whenever you're ready, come on to bed. I'm a bit beat, but I'm always up for a dream."
>You slip out of the pants and into the bed, your eyes closing almost immediately as you feel the puffy comforter settle over you.
>You're not sure how long it takes, but after what seems like just a few seconds, a presence nestles itself on your chest, and a bit of purring starts up on your ribs.
>This goes on for about a minute before Luna's breath catches, and she finally speaks.
>"I'm yours if you want me."
>A strange knot forms in your stomach.
>A year ago, you'd have never stayed in a relationship this long if you couldn't get any.
>But now...something's different.
>Despite all the urges, all the wants, you can't bring yourself to it.
"Not yet. We've got a week left. I can wait."
>You feel her move, and when you open your eyes just a bit, she plants a kiss on your lips.
>As she pulls back, she runs one hoof through your hair.
>"You're a fine man, Anon. For that, you'll always have a blessing on your dreams.
>She closes her eyes, draping a hoof over yours to close them again, and begins to sing.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=94h2L9oBOHM
As you wake up the next morning, your mind refuses to open your eyes.
>It takes almost fifteen minutes to finally open your eyes and sit up, by your estimation.
>Luckily for you, Luna is still next to you this time.
>You lean over her, planting a kiss on the back of her ear and running a hand through her mane.
"Good morning, Nightlight."
>She rolls over, one eye popping open.
>She sticks her tongue out at you for a few seconds and rolls back over, a playful grin on her face.
>Well, two can play at that game.
>You take the end of her mane in two fingers and begin to wiggle the end right on her nose, causing her to scrunch up and wiggle her nose like a rabbit.
>The little grin continues to grow until she begins to breathe a bit shakily, and finally she bursts out with a sneeze.
>Her sneezes are adorable, barely audible and coming in quick succession for almost twenty seconds.
>You lay back and giggle despite the dirty look she's shooting you.
>As her fit finally subsides, she lays back with you and rolls over to face you, pushing you in the shoulder with one hoof.
>"That was cheating."
"Turnabout is fair play. It would have been cheating if I used my own hands. Like this."
>You take two fingers and press them gently to the tip of her nose, pressing with mere ounces of pressure.
"Boop."
>Her eyes cross a bit from trying to look at your fingers, and finally she looks back up at you, an adorable scowl on her face.
>"I would remind you, Anon, that I am the Princess of the Night."
"You waived the authority to call rank when you said you'd marry me. Besides, don't act like you don't love these."
>You waggle your fingers for a few moments before grabbing Luna under one shoulder and flipping her over on her back, plunging your digits down and tickling her stomach.
>She bursts into laughter, trying to push your hands away.
>After a minute or two you let up on her, falling back into a sitting position beside her as she catches her breath.
"See, that was cheating."
>She pants for a moment, sitting up and walking over to you, her movement impeded a bit by the puffy mattress.
>"Do we really have to go anywhere? Can't we just lay here today?"
>You take the whole thing into consideration.
>Admittedly, spending an entire day cuddling with the Princess fulfills more or less every definition of heaven you could conjure up.
>Then again, you aren't quite sure exactly how many rubles it'll run you, considering you were more than frivolous last night.
"Tell you what, you stay here and make a warm spot in the bed. I've got two calls to make, and then I'll be back."
>She sighs, rolling up in the spot you just left and watching wistfully as you slide out of the bed, stretching wearily.
>It takes a few moments to find the phone, but as soon as you do you dial up the front desk.
>After a three minute conversation with the front desk and a little bit of reading from the notice in your jacket pocket, you're able to convince them to send a fully loaded breakfast up as well as allow you to stay until 8 PM.
"Thank you, Uncle Sam."
>The next call is to your parents, and thankfully it's your father that answers the phone.
"Hey, Dad. I was just calling to let you guys know, we're not going to be back until about ten tonight."
>"Okay. Have fun."
>Click.
>You hang the phone up carefully, almost a bit concerned now.
>Your dad hates talking on the phone, sure, but even he isn't that bad.
>For a moment you consider leaving to check on him, but then you see Luna still curled up on the bed, her eyelids halfway down already.
>Your dad's got four guns at the house, he's fine.
 
>You leap into bed beside Luna, wrapping yourself around her and ending up as the big spoon.
"We've got breakfast on the way, then the room for ourselves until tonight."
>She sighs contentedly, twisting her head around just enough to look you in one eye.
>"Anon, I know you're the one who always worries about me, but..."
>You scoot in a little closer, wrapping your arm around her and pulling her in close enough to feel her heartbeat against your own.
"What's on your mind?"
>"She pulls away, despite your efforts, and sits up to face you.
>"Anon, is this really what you want? I know that you love me, that much I can tell. But...do you really want to leave all of this? I've only seen a fraction of your Earth, and it's absolutely a paradise. I would never leave if I had the option, and I'm asking you to just to be with me. I don't want to keep you from whatever life you might want here."
>You chuckle a bit, shaking your head.
"You're truly adorable, Luna. Don't get me wrong, leaving wasn't the easiest choice I ever made, but I'd make a thousand times again, and I wouldn't change a thing. Besides, it isn't like I'm that far from home. A one day train ride and a run through the city is the distance most people live from their parents here."
>She steps in close to you, burying her head in your hand, taking a few moments before she begins to sob.
"What's wrong?!"
>Without speaking, she leaps into you, plowing you backward into the mattress and pressing herself into your neck.
>"Anon...I'm scared. I don't know how long I'll live, and I don't want to live without you!"
>You blink in shock, and slowly wrap your arms around her.
>For as long as you'd been an item, you'd been thinking about how this would work.
>You sit in silence for a moment, trying to think of something to say to comfort her.
>When nothing comes, you simply pull her closer, hugging her as tight as you can.