Title:           Everyponis Was Kung Fu Fightin'
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/kpH9AjwU
First Edit:      Tuesday 19th of July 2016 03:15:42 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 19th of July 2016 03:15:42 AM CDT

>Be Anonymous
>Be sound the figgity fuck asleep.
>No longer.
>"Anon!"
"zsnrkwhaa?"
>"Anon no time to explain! Come quick!"
>You barely have time to turn your sleepy gaze from the perturbed purple princess to lil Anon, standing proudly at attention, before you're bundled up in a cloud of magic.
>"It's Discord! Something terrible has happened! You need to write!"
"...Write?"
>You can feel an eye crusty or two tumble from your eyes when you blink sleepily down at your captor
>"Yes! No time to explain! Here!"
>You are unceremoniously dumped into a desk chair and a quill is shoved into your hand.
>Looking around, you can see that the other ponises have gathered as well.
>Well, the six of them anyway. Plus that new purple one, Jim Jones or whatever her name is.
>Also the big dra.. dracone... Old dragon dude. He's there too.
>"Write!"
>You turn to Twilight., desperation written (poorly) across her face.
>With something resembling resolve, you start to write.
>Suddenly Pinkie leaps into the center of her room, standing tall on her hind legs.
>She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and...
[YouTube] Carl Douglas - Kung fu fighting(original) (embed)
>"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoooooh"
>"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoooooh"
>She's putting more into this than you expected.
>"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoooooh"
>"Oh-hoh-hoh-hooooah~"
>There's the briefest moment of pregnant tension.
"Everybody was kung fu fighting"
>And just like that the room explodes into a colorful slurry of chops and kicks, with Pinkie at the center of it all.
>"Thoose cats were fast as lightning~"
>"In fact, it was a little bit frightening!"
>"But they fought with expert tiiimi-hing!"
>As you steal glances between lines you start to recognize the choreography on display.
>It's impressive.
>"There were funky China men! from funky Chinatown!"
>Is that Powder Rouge?
>"They were chopping them uh-hup~"
>Oh shit, she's helping the goatdragon!
>"They were chopping them down"
>"It's an ancient Chineighs art! And everybody knew their pa-hart!"
>"From a feinting to a slip,and a kickin' from the hip!"
>Oh dear lord you heard the bones crunch.
>As Pinkie goes into the chorus again the rest of the girls sing the 'Oh-hoh-hoh-hoooooh's for her.
>"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting"
>"Hoh!"
>"Thoose cats were fast as lightning~"
>"Hah!"
>"In fact, it was a little bit frightening!"
>"Hoh!"
>"But they fought with expert tiiiming!"
>They're kinda cleaning up shop now, and before long tQ and his stereotypically Neighsian accomplice lay in a heap, defeated.
>"Anon! That was amazing! Aaa little bit more violent than I was expecting, but we did it!"
"Carl Douglas was a genius and a scholar."
>"Wha... oh, nevermind!"
>Twilight is wingbonering, like, super hard from all of the excitement. She doesn't even notice.
>Makes the hug a little awkward, but Twilight a cute.
>After a harrowing explanation of just what the hell had been going on while you were asleep, you bid My Little Sailor Scouts goodnight and return to your room.
>And then you all had sex.
>Good end.