Title:           [Strange Waifu] Spiderpone waifu
Author:          AnalPlugAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Kc6dKGnM
First Edit:      Wednesday 3rd of February 2016 09:02:09 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 9th of April 2016 01:58:14 PM CDT

>It's the day after your run-in with Pinktoe Pie.
>You checked your calendar this morning and found that it was mating season for spiderpones.
>Christ, how horrifying.
>Since you're such good friends with Princess LoxosCelestia, you were able to get your building temporarily reinforced until the next two weeks were over.
>"Anonymous! Anonymous, dear, would you please open the door?"
>Oh, that's Agrarity, your friendly neighbourhood seamstress.
>With understandable caution, you open the door and peek out though the crack you made.
"What is it, Miss Agrarity?"
>The while/beige sac spider clicks her terrible forehooves at you in greeting.
>"Oh, it's nothing important, Anonymous, but I was hoping that you could do me a favour."
>She tries to wedge a hoof-claw into the space between your front door and door frame, but you nudge it away with your foot.
>Steel-toed boots, mind you.
>Agrarity's venom hurts like a motherfucker, let me tell you.
>Agrarity crosses her forelegs (God, you can't even keep your names for them consistent) and glares at you with all eight of her purple eyes.
>"Hmph! That is no way to treat a lady, Anonymous. I don't know HOW you expect to find a partner if you act like that."
>Eeuadhgh.
>Just the thought of that makes you want to vomit.
"What kind of favour are we talking about, Agrarity?"
>Agrarity looks around her suspiciously, her purple hair whipping back and forth.
>"I seem to have a bit of a problem with my... er...."
>If spiders could blush, she oOH fuck me they CAN blush!
>But it's blue.
>What?
>Fine, whatever. You want this to be over.
"A problem with your....?"
>You trial off expectantly and watch as Agrarity squirms under your gaze.
>Her uncomfortable scuttle is awful to watch.
 
>"With my.... my.... Ohh, don't make me say such a crude, vulgar thing, Anonymous!"
>Agrarity drapes a forehoof over six of her eight eyes and pretends to faint, rolling over onto her back.
>Her legs curl up underneath her and she twitches as though she's dying.
"Agrarity, please just tell me."
>You fight down the bile rising in your throat.
"The suspense is killing me."
>In an instant, Agrarity is back on her horsespider feet and finally relents.
>"With my webhole, darling. Oh, I cannot believe that I let things get so clogged up, but I need help!"
>You smell a trap.
"Why not just ask your sister to help you? Or maybe that friend of yours, Twilight Sparassidae?"
>Agrarity shuffles, looking a bit surprised at your questions.
>Seems she wasn't expecting much resistance.
>"D-dear, my little Sweetie Tibellus is at school today. And Twilight is... well.... this isn't something you can show to just anyspider, you know."
>You make sure that you have a firm hold on your door before answering Agrarity.
"Agrarity, are you sure it isn't because it's mating season?"
>Just as you predicted, Agrarity slams into your door. You brace yourself on it, and push back, hoping shut it before she got in.
>"Anonymous, please!"
>SLAM!
>"I need somespider!"
>SLAM!
>"ANYspider!"
>SLA-oof!"
>You slam the door shut just before Agrarity hits it, and she comes face-to-spiderface with your solid 4-inch-thick oak door.
>You lock all seven of your locks and begin to walk away.
>"Please, Darling! I just want to rip your penis off and inject your sperm into my epigyne!"
>Today was a "fear-vomiting into the toilet" kind of day.