Title:           Chryssi Can't Cook
Author:          Affective
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/1MTDyfXR
First Edit:      Friday 25th of July 2014 09:21:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 25th of July 2014 09:21:33 PM CDT

>You are Chrysalis, and you are very out of practice in the kitchen
>Normally infiltrators were the only ones who needed to know how to cook
>But tonight Anon was coming over, and you wanted to do something special for him
>According to your information network, cooking the meal yourself was apparently more romantic
>You didn't understand it
>Then again, you also didn't live on food that needed to be cooked
>It was a good thing you didn't, you weren't sure if what you'd made was even edible
>The pot on the stove was nearly bubbling over with a viscous green goop
>It reminded you of your cocooning gel, actually
>Wiping away one of the many splatters of ingredients on you, you glare at the pot of sludge as if it would fix itself through sheer force of will
>And why shouldn't it? You are a queen after all
>Feared leader of a legion of shapeshifting terrors
>Yet you were bested by a damnable kitchen
>The fearsome queen who can't even make soup
 
>With a dejected sigh, you scan the cookbook for any way to salvage this mess
>You don't have time to start again, Anon will be here soon
>Stupid Anon, it was his fault you had this mess on your hooves to begin with
>Why were you even doing this? He's just some weird, gangly creature
>Who just happens to have the most enchanting pair of eyes
>And an adorable quirk to his smile, which seems to show up whenever he's with you
>And those long arms that were perfect for wrapping around you
>You could still remember the feeling of all that love of his
>Directed at you
>Not at your disguise, but at you
 
>With a growl, you turn to the pot bubbling away on the stove and start throwing in anything you think might help
>You were going to make this food submit
>No one stands in the way of a queen
>That bubbling was taunting you, but you were going have the last laugh, oh yes
>Nothing defies Queen Chrysalis and gets away with it
 
 
>You are Anon, and there are some loud noises coming from Chrysalis's door
>Normally you don't just barge into her home
>You don't think she'd hear you knocking through that racket, though
"Chryssi?"
>When you call out for her, all the noise stops abruptly
>"Anon! You're..." There's a notable pause before she continues
>"You're right on time. Of course, you always are."
>The noise starts up again, coming from the kitchen
>You recognise it now as a mixture of colourful swearing, pots banging, and some very creative threats of violence
"Are you okay? Do you need any help in there?"
>"No! Stay out, everything's fine. I just need a few minutes-"
>She's interrupted by several loud popping sounds
>There's a short, tense silence, before an enraged shriek pierces through it
>You bolt into the kitchen expecting the worst
 
>It's a disaster area
>There stands Chrysalis, seething and splattered head to hooves in unidentifiable globs of something
>A good portion of the kitchen has been hit as well
>Various ingredients have been spilled in seemingly random places
>It takes all your effort not to burst out laughing
>Chrysalis sees you standing there and her expression switches from mad to dejected
>"I'm sorry."
>You gave her a confused look
"What are you sorry for?"
>There were frustrated tears in her eyes and she had trouble meeting your gaze
>"I tried to make dinner for us, but now it's ruined, and so is our evening. I'll understand if you want to do this another time."
>That sad face of hers was breaking your heart
>You quickly went over and wrapped her in a hug
>"Stop it, I'm all messy," she protested weakly, pushing against you lightly before giving in and nuzzling your chest when you didn't let go
>Getting that affection from Chrysalis, someone usually so distant with everyone, always made you smile
 
"You're being silly, you know. You didn't ruin anything."
>She looked up at you incredulously
>"Of course I did. Dates are to be held to a certain standard to be considered successful, and I failed miserably at meeting that standard."
>You had to laugh at that
>Your laughter earned you a scathing glare
"Look, how about we get this cleaned up and I show you how to make one of my favourite dishes?"
>She looked annoyed now
>"You don't have to fix this for me. I can clean up my own messes."
"Yeah, but I'm messy now too, so I might as well."
>You grinned and gestured at your shirt, which had become smeared with whatever was on Chrysalis
>She scoffed at that and went to pull out cleaning supplies
>"That's your own fault. Just try not to make a bigger mess than the one already here."
>You both grabbed what you needed and got ready to get cleaning
>It was going to be a pain, but you wouldn't let her do it alone
>Before you got started, though, you felt a hoof on your arm
>Chrysalis was looking at you with a hesitant expression
>"Are you sure you don't want to just postpone this?"
>You gave her a peck on the lips and a reassuring smile
"Why would I want to miss out on being with you?"
>She turned away and you heard her muttering something about how ridiculous you were
>But you didn't miss her light blush or the wide smile on her face