Title:           Thread Stuff
Author:          AetherPony
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/WrCVz8UX
First Edit:      Thursday 10th of January 2013 04:40:47 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 10th of January 2013 04:40:47 PM CDT

>Dash Day in Equestria
>It's always Dash Day for you cause you are Rainbow Dash
>And you are the most awesome thing to hit Equestria since anything
>At least you thought you were until that rugged hairless ape Anon came to town.
>One freak egg-headed experiment by none other than Twilight, Queen of the Egg-heads brought him here.
>And boy where you happy about that one
>He's athletic, he's funny, spontaneous, and a bit dangerous
>You had a thing for danger, and when he showed you those canines
>Oh-ho your wings still twitch when you think about them.
>And it's getting worse, which is bad considering you're flying right now.
>Sweet Celestia wings stop bonering!
>W: Not until you get some of that hot monkey DICK
>I can't do that he's a human he'll think it's weird!
>W: What isn't weird is that he isn't pulling your mane right now and rut-
>Celestia damn it wings you aren't helping!
>B: Oh by the way you're dripping like a faucet
>Thanks brain... god damn it!
--
>As you're flying over a few unfortunate ponies are subjugated to your fluids
>"Hey Mommy is it raining? Why does the rain smell like hay and sweet grass?"
>"No sweetie there isn't a cloud in the... sweetie don't look up."
>"Why not Mommy?"
>"Cause if you do you won't get any presents Hearts-Warming Eve."
>"Aww... okay..."
>"Bucking Rainbow Dash..."
>"What was that Mommy?"
>"Nothing Sweetie."
 
--
>You need to hurry up and get to Anon's house before this gets worse.
>V: Aww yeah we gettin some!
>No we aren't vag!
>V: Oh yes we are.
 
>It takes you a few minutes for you to get to Anon's considering your problem.
>When you're at his door you're fidgeting, trying to get your wings to stop throbbing.
>Ever since your stupid brain made you think of preening Anon's cum out of your feathers you haven't been able to right your wings.
>Stupid brain, stupid wings, stupid winking ponyvag.
>With your wings finally at half mast you knock at the door.
>Within a few minutes Anon opens his door
>... in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
>You look over his cut form, he's no iron will but he's no slouch either
>Them pectorals, those abs, dem biceps
>Your wings are flaring out again and the throbbing is worse.
>B: Come on stupid say something!
>"Hi Gah-gahfug."
>B: What was that?! Was that even english?!
>Shut up brain I'm trying!
>W: Don't worry Dash, I got your back, try again.
>Are you sure wings?
>W: Yeah bro I got you?
"Uh... Dash?"
>"I want you to cu-"
>Oh you sly motherbucker
>W: It was worth a try wasn't it?
>Brain a little help here?
>"H-hey Anon, what's up? Sorry about that... I'm have a problem on my mind... it's kinda distracting."
"Ah, let me guess, weather team?"
>V: More like your not giving me some sweet lovin
>Celestia damn it vag you're not helping!
>V: Hey, it's not my fault you haven't told him how you felt.
>Yeah but you're making it awkward
>V: So take off that towel and blow em, awkward won't be a problem then
>NO! That's like rape... isn't it?
>V: Of course you won't you carpet munching dyke
>Whorse!
>B: Will you two stop it?
>"NO!"
"Dash... are you okay? Do you need to lie down or something?"
>"I... uh... yeah that'd be nice."
>V: Score.
>Shut up vag.
 
>Anon, being the gentlecolt that he is, helps lead you inside and to his room.
>You have to say his home is quite spacious, it needs to be considering his size.
>As you walk up the stairs you're sure to keep Anon in front
>B: So you can look at that tight ass of his...
>One more time... do that one more time brain
>B: What? Wings and Vag are right you need a good rutting.
>Is there any part of my body that hasn't betrayed me?
>A: I HAVEN'T RAINBOW!
>Oh god damn it your anus is talking now
>Wait... Gilbert Godfried is that you?
>A: The one and only!
>WHY ARE YOU MY ASS?!
>A: Hey toots someone needed to voice it and I haven't gotten any work in years.
>So?
>A: So just go with it!
>Ugh... why is this happening to me?
"Here we are."
>He opens his door and leads you into his room.
"Do you need anything? Water, food, soda...?
>"Water's fine, thank you."
"Welcome."
>V: A well of Anon's cum...
>I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
>V: Come on you know you want it
>No I don't!
>V: Yes you do...
>Yeah I totally do- Hey!
>V: See? You even agree with me, besides I'm soaking his blankets right now
>...What?
>V: Yup, totally getting your hay stink all over it, he's gonna smell it when he walks in
>No..
>V: Then he's going to ask about it
>No no no....
>V: And then you're going to stretch like a cat and ask him to come inside you!
>Nonononono BUCK!
>You turn to find that your vag is indeed betraying you, it's totally ruining Anon's blankets.
>His once red blanket now has a darkened puddle which is only getting larger
 
>B: Hey Dash
>Yes Brain?
>B: I have an ide-
>NO!
>B: But Dash I-
>NO!
>B: Come on... please? It'll help solve this problem.
>It will?
>B: Yes, but you're going to have to trust me, and Gilbert has to help.
>A: CAN DO!
>C: And I shall help as well.
>B: Well hello there clitoris
>C: Hello Brain
>Morgan Freeman? Is that you?
>C: Yes it is Rainbow, and you should listen to your brain. He's got a plan that will solve everything.
>...You know what, I'm game.
>B: Sweet... okay here's what you do...
 
--
 
"Hey Rainbow I've got your water..."
>You are Anonymous, and in your six months of being here you haven't seen something quite like this.
>Rainbow Dash is currently standing on your bed... with clouds wrapped around her
>It looks like she's wearing a bikini
>Your dick has no idea what to do, but you can feel it pitching a tent under your towel
>"Hey there handsome."
"D-Dash...?"
>"Ya know... I do have a problem... but I don't think I can tell you.
"What are you gonna do then?"
>"I'm gonna sing it."
"..."
>You hear music start to play from some random part of your house
>Yet you don't own a radio, weird.
>When she starts to sing your eyes widen in horror
>How does she know that song... why is she singing that terrible song?!
>"S is for the simple need"
>"E is for the ecstasy"
>"X is just to mark the spot cause that's the one yo-"
>You don't wait for her to finish, she's just killed your boner
>So you walk over, pick her up, and fling her out of your window
>You hate Nickleback with a passion
>Today just turned into a horrible one.
 
 
 
 
 
 
>Day Derp in Equestria
>You are Derpy Hooves AKA Ditzy Doo, Ms. Muffin, Wild Derp, and of course the fan favorite: The Mare with the Iron Flank.
>But Derpy will suffice, after all that's what all your friends call you.
>Right now you're en route to Anon's house
>You missed it seventeen times already, but the eighteenth is the charm
>When you land at what you hope to be his house you knock
>Then you notice just how large his house is... yeah you got the right one
>That's when you see him, Anonymous the Human
>He opens the door and greets you with a smile
>You like it when he smiles...
>SLIT HIS THROAT YOU FUCKING CUNT!
>Quiet Sergeant Wall Eye.
>DO IT FAGGOT!
>You've learned to tune out Wall Eye because he says mean things
>In turn he punishes you by making you look at the ground while you're trying to look at Anonymous.
"Hey Derpy, got a letter for me?"
>He's nice, he isn't grimacing at your problem.
>"A package actually! Gimme a moment."
>You rummage around your pack and finally a rather large brown package is pulled from within.
"Wow, it's finally here."
>"Yup."
"How did it fit in the bag? It's like twice it's size."
>"Magic."
>Magic you little maggot! Now drop and give me twenty!
>Please cease with your uncouth language Wall Eye.
>Fuck you and fuck your sister brain!
>We do not have a sister you brutish cow.
"Interesting, I could use one of those magic bags. Thanks Derpy."
>"No problem Anonymous!"
>Hmm, should I stay or should I deliver more packages?
>Don't worry dear, he was your last stop, you have time to kill.
>Thanks brain.
>You are quite welcome Derpy.
>You two make me sick!
>No one cares Wall Eye.
 
"Hey, you busy?"
>You shake your head
"Want to come inside and grab a drink? It's been a while since anypony came to visit."
>"I'd love to!"
>Anon opens his door wider and you walk around him
>He closes the door as you step inside
>Wow his house is so clean!
>There aren't any empty bags of chips on the ground or used bubble wrap covering his furniture!
>Because he keeps his place clean unlike you Derpy.
>I know brain, but those chips are so delicious and that bubble wrap is fuuuuun.
>That does not excuse you from picking up after your refuse.
>I know... but I get distracted.
>It's the bubble wrap isn't it?
>...Yes. Yes it is.
>Speaking of which, it looks like Anon has some too.
>He does brain?
>You look to find Anon opening his package of Hard Cider and sure enough there's bubble wrap on both bottles.
>When he removes them both of your eyes fixate on them as they fall to the floor.
>He turns from his bottles to see you staring at them
>You hear him chuckle before he slides a them your way
"Have fun Derpy."
>"YAY!"
>You waste no time in going crazy on those little pieces of air filled plastic.
>*Poppopopopopopopopopopopopopopopopop*
>You do a little dance on the sheets giggling madly
>All the while Anon places his bottles on a nearby coffee table
>When he takes a seat he pops open the top of one and takes a hearty swig
>He exhales sharply after getting a good taste
"Now that's the kind of burn I'm lookin for. Hey Derpy?"
>You stop and turn his way
>"Yes?"
>He motions to his other bottle.
"I said you could have a drink."
>Oooh Cider... but should you?
>I wouldn't do it Derpy.
>That's cause you're a little sissy! Go ahead Derpy get you some of that stuff!
>Okay Sergeant Wall Eye
>Damn right we're gonna get drunk!
>Oh Celestia help me...
 
>Some time later...
>Both of you have downed his bottles of booze.
>H... Hey Derpy?
>Yeah *hic* brain?
>Ask him why he's all alone, *snicker* he's probably autistic.
>That's not very nice brain.
>"Hey Anon... why're you all by *hic* yourself?
"Causa Everfree Forest backyard."
>He points his thumb to a window and sure enough, the Everfree Forest is right there in plain sight.
>"Oh...?"
"Anythin elsh?"
>"Nope."
"Okay."
>The two of you sit in silence for a little while.
"Wanna wash a movie?"
>"Hehehehe wash a movie... yesh *hic*"
>Anonymous leans forward and faceplants into the floor.
>THERE'S YOUR CHANCE SIT ON HIS FACE!
>*hic* what?
>What?
>You panzy, use your iron flank and crush that skull of his!
>Why aren't you *hic* drunk Sgt Wall Eye?
>Cause I'm not a pussy, now do it!
>Derpy... Der...Der... do it.
>You sure brain?
>Yes.
>...Okay!
>You do as your brain says and flip Anon over
>Then you sit on his face
>He voices his surprise into your marehood and anus
>You can feel your face grow warm as he starts to come to terms with what's going on
>Then you feel his tongue start to invade your private areas
>feelsgoodman
>You cum with the force of 1000 suns 30 seconds later.
>Anon's cunninglus leaves your body wanting more
>Suddenly your ponyvag has something to say.
 
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>Today was a drunken sex fest kinda day