Chapter 12
>Okay.
>Having Rainbow Dash as your roommate is not as good as you thought it would be.
>She snores so loud you can hear it even though you are in separate rooms.
>And she is loud and she brags all of the time.
>And worst of all.
>She does the worst possible thing you can do to a man.
>She spends your money.
>It has barely even been two weeks and over half of what you have is already spent on booze and junk food by your new roommate.
>You only have about a hundred bits left.
>But luckily you don’t have to pay for food today.
>Twilight came over yesterday and invited you to a picnic out on a hill in the back of the park.
>The one with the nice view and the Japanese maple tree.
>It will be so much fun.
>You haven’t really talked to Twilight in a while.
>Or many of your other friends.
>Dash has been quite the handful.
>You just got the most brilliant idea.
>You should invite the girls.
>Twilight would be so happy if you brought all of her best friends too.
>You walk through the living room and nearly trip over an empty vodka bottle.
>Damn it Rainbow.
>Why do you even put up with her?
>Oh yeah, she’s your friend and if it wasn’t for you summoning that sprite Rainbow Dash would never have gotten hurt in the first place.
>Fucking conscience.
>Stepping over empty bottles and chocolate bar wrappings you make your way to the guest room.
>You open the door and enter the room.
>RD: “Can’t you knock?!” Rainbow Dash quickly hides her Daring Do book.
>She thinks you don’t know she’s a bookwork.
>You’ve known for a while down.
“Hey Dash, Twilight invited me to a picnic over at the park. You wanna come?”
>Rainbow glances over at her book’s hiding place.
>”Sure, why not. Are the others coming?”
>They totally are!
“I haven’t invited them yet, you want to help?”
>Rainbow Dash lies down on the bed. “Nah, you go ahead I’ll catch up with you later.
>She never does anything.
>You’re glad her wings are almost healed.
>You would run out of bits by the end of the week if she were to stay here any longer.
>You walk out the door and leave your lazy roommate with her book.
>Bucking eggheads.
 
>Pinkie agreed instantly when you asked her if she wanted to come.
>Fluttershy agreed to come on the condition that she could bring her pet bunny ´Angel`.
>You hate that bunny with the burning intensity of a thousand dying suns.
>But as long as Fluttershy is there it’s going to be alright.
>Applejack agreed to take some of her grandmother’s delicious apple pie with her.
>And now you are on your way over to Rarity.
>She is probably working on some dress so she won’t have time to go on a picnic.
>Her little bell rings when you enter The Carousel Boutique.
>Rar: “Welcome to carousel boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique.”
“Hey Rarity.”
>Rarity’s face lights up when she sees you. “Hello darling, what brings you to my store today?”
>Now that you are here you might as well order some new clothes.
“Well I just dropped by to hear if you wanted to join me for lunch up on that hill with the maple tree.”
>Rar: “Oh darling I would love t…” you cut her off.
“And I need some new clothes. Very formal please.”
>Her innocent smile turns into a perverted grin at the mentioning of new clothes.
>Rar: “Well of course dear, just take off your clothes and let’s get started.”
>Oh no.
>You have to think of something before things get nasty.
“Can’t you just use the measurements from last time?”
>For a moment an expression of anger and frustration flashes across Rarity’s face. “Well I suppose I could use them.” She walks over to a pile of fabrics.
>While shuffling through the cloth she continues to talk. “Should I bring my own food?”
“Yes, that would be a good idea.” You turn to walk out of the door. “I’ll see you later.”
 
>It’s a few hours past midday and you are working your way up the hillside with Pinkie Pie.
>Pinkie is carrying a basket of sweets from Sugarcube Corner and you are carrying your food.
>You are growing tired of salad, but a vegetarian diet is part of life in Equestria.
>You’ll just have to live with it.
>PP: “It’s really nice of Twilight to host a picnic. I don’t think she has ever done anything like this before.”
>It is actually unlike Twilight to do something like this now that you think about it.
>Usually it is Pinkie or Fluttershy’s ideas to go picnicking.
“It’s been a while since the seven of us were together. I’m sure she just misses you guys.”
>PP: “Thanks.” She says with that big familiar grin of hers.
>You notice Twilight first.
>She is talking to Fluttershy and Rarity.
“Hi guys.” You wave your hand.
>FS: “Um… hello Anon.”
>You drop the food near a large blanket and sit down next to Twilight.
“So how are you all doing?”
>Rarity is the first to answer. “I’m doing great darling, I have gotten a lot of new business lately.”
>You didn’t notice, but Twilight grimaced when Rarity said ´darling`.
>Rar: “Many Canterlot p0nies have been ordering dresses from me. Of course some attires are more important than others, right Anonymous.”
>She must be referring to your new gown.
“Hmm, quite.” You say with the characteristic high society voice Rarity is known for.
>You mimic Rarity’s accent to perfection and the others laugh.
>Now you only need a monocle and a top hat.
>Rarity doesn’t seem to like your little joke.
>You can tell by the face she is making.
“Relax Rarity, it’s all in good fun.”
 
>Applejack arrives a little later with Rainbow Dash and a lot of food.
>A LOT.
>RD: “Hey girls.”
>Looks like your gender swap didn’t go unnoticed.
>RD: “And Anon.”
>Thank you.
>Applejack sits down next to you.
>PP: “Wow Rainbow where did you get all that food?”
>RD: “At the market, where else?”
>Rar: “What I think she meant is: How can you afford all of that?”
>Rain´bro` looks over at you with a small smirk. “I just used some of Anon’s bits.”
>What!
“You can’t just take my bits like that. We’ve already talked about this.”
>A heartbeat later the little group changed from being loud and happy to being completely silent.
>The mares look at each other in turn and Fluttershy is the first to break the silence. “Umm… Excuse me b-but isn’t that…” The last word is so quiet it is barely audible. ”…Stealing?”
>AJ: “Hey now. We shouldn’t be throwing around that word like that. It’s like at the farm; everyp0ny shares everything. It ain’t stealing if it’s already yours.”
>Your stomach feels like you just swallowed a still-living porcupine.
>You are fighting hard to keep your rage under control.
>That rage Rainbow Dash has been building up for the past two weeks.
>You need to vent all of this despair.
>All it would take a simple motion.
>But you are not the type of guy who would hit a mare so you save it for magic practice later.
>Twilight takes your side in the argument. “But Rainbow doesn’t even work for those bits.” She stops for a minute. “No offence Rainbow Dash.”
>RD: “Okay! I’m sorry, can we just drop it?”
>Drop it?
“Fine, Dash.”
>You would hate to argue with Rainbow in front of your friends.
 
>Both Twilight and Rainbow doesn’t talk much.
>Rainbow probably knows what’s coming.
>That bucking bitch.
>A after you finished eating the p0nies pack up and leave. Only Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are left.
>You tell Dash that you’ll catch up with her and that you would meet down at your house.
>You notice Rainbow Dash winking at Twilight before she leaves.
>You motion for Twilight to sit down under the maple tree with you.
>The view is truly wonderful from up here.
>You can see most of the park and P0nyville.
>The afternoon sun shines through the leaves and colours the grass a brownish red.
“Are you alright Twilight? You didn’t say much even though you planned all of this.”
>She looks up at you. “I just didn’t expect you to invite my friends.”
>This was supposed to be a picnic wasn’t it?
>You can’t just have a picnic without anyp0ny attending.
“Why not? This is just like the other times we’ve had picnics and pet play dates, why should today be any different?”
>She gives you that ´Are You Fucking Serious?` face?
>Twi: ”Because I wanted to set the mood…”
>Mood? What mood?
“Set the mood for what?”
>You better round this up quick so you can get back to your house and yell at Dash.
>You are really looking forward to yelling at Dash.
>Twi: “I wanted to tell you something… About how I feel.”
>Is she sick?
>She moves a little closer to you.
>Twi: “How I’ve felt for a long time now.”
>Okay fuck Twilight, her cancer or whatever can wait.
>Your need to verbally assault your roommate is more important than your friend’s wellbeing… At the moment.
>You’ll be there 100% for her after that.
>Twi: “I…” She takes a deep breath.
>You stand up.
“Sorry Twilight but I really need to go.”
>And you run off leaving Twilight heartbroken.
 
>You hear quiet sobs as you open the door to your house.
>Good. At least she knows what’s coming.
>When you enter the living room you see her sitting over at least a hundred small pieces of paper, you recognise them as receipts.
“Realised how much you spent?”
>Rainbow turns her head and nods.
“How much do we have left?”
>Your tone is harsh and unforgiving.
>Rainbow turns her gaze away from you and mumbles something.
“Say again.” You step closer to her.
>RD: “Fifty bits.”
>50?
>You only have 50 bits left?
>You have to get rid of her.
“Fifty bits is hardly enough for one person to live for two weeks. I can’t afford to have you living with me, I’m sorry.”
>RD: “Y-you can’t do that! Where should I go? I can’t fly back to my cloud home for another week.”
>Not your problem.
“Can’t you live with Applejack? I think she will love having you there to share her bits with her.”
>You just want her gone now.
>You need some time for yourself… a vacation maybe.
>RD: “How can you be so selfish?” You can hear from her voice she is about to start weeping again.
>Not.
>One.
>Fuck.
>Given.
“Me? You are the one spending all my money on booze and junk food.”
>Okay, maybe one.
>RD: “You are an asshole!”
“You are lazy as fuck!
>RD: “You are oblivious!”
“You are a jerk to everyp0ny but yourself!”
>RD: “You… You…”
“You…”
>The second before your hand connects to the back of Dash’s head you say: “I hate you.” In sync.
>You pull her close and lock lips with your roommate.
>You lose balance and tumble to your rug.
>Fucking Rainbow Dash.