And… time’s up, pencils down.
> Twilight glares at you with a somewhat poached look before using her magic to lower the quill.
> The rustling of the parchment flies to your hand in a fruitful wave of enthusiasm as you commandeer the living from the chair near the sofa.
> Your battle dressed uniform? A towel around the waist. Oh, and a hat.
> You found a hat in your spare nether storage unit, and although you’re not entirely sure where the hell it came from, you figured it best to try it on.
> It’s very large for a human based baseball cap; hand (or hoof, who knows) drawn on it is a picture of the esteemed Princess Cadance as a colossus entity, overlooking a town while swinging katanas and belching massive chimmichangas.
> You don’t remember alcohol being in Equestria; when in Greybeard’s name did you get plastered enough to make something like this?
> You set the questions aside, the humor and a small sense of nostalgia enough a reason than any to wield it on your head.
> Looking at the overelaborated paper of the test you made off of a whim’s notice, you realize that your questions are a tad… vicious?
> Sure, and by that you mean these are things you wouldn’t dream of putting on one of your normal tests at the school unless you downgraded to a Level 5 asshole.
> You joked with Twilight earlier that, should she somehow manage to ace the quiz, you’d do whatever she fancies; this, of course, is entirely in your hands, considering that you can be a nitpicky motherfucker, you could easily nick a point off for a spelling error or what not.
> Twi: “You know, I was done about fifteen minutes ago.”
A proper examinee must always check their answers.
> Twi: “I looked over them five times. FIVE. TIMES. F-I-V-“
Alright, I understand. Go do something while I grade this, and figure out what we’re doing tonight.
> Twi: “We’re going to buck all over the place, right? That was the deal!”
> Your grin knows no bounds, no limit to deceitful intent.
Sure… if you score a flawless victory on this.
> Your eyes locks with hers like two territorial cats; her fighting tiger spirit clashes with your terrifying dragon aura, a deadlock of two fierce foes.
> She silently grins back.
> Twi: “You should be ‘grading’ right now, Pruh-fuss-er Anon~! <3”
> She strides off to her books as you fancy yourself a prestigious red inked quill, ready to tear this quiz apart like a pack of hyenas.
> Damn, though… those glasses get you every time now.
-----
> No, this is… this is impossible…
> You’ve literally dissected the first question for any sort of flaw or holes to mark even a quarter point off; it’s like she copy and pasted the answer from five different books COMBINED.
> Wait, is that a “their” instead of “there”? Wait… no that’s just her hoofwriting… although you could try to argue it.
> Fuck it, you might as well find the embarrassing mistake to be found in the next question.
> You stare at question number two: “What is the most considered theory in harnessing the element of transfiguration, and what are the components that support this theory?”
> If you were to estimate, she wrote her bloody answer in size 4 font. Your eyes are twisting out of their sockets just trying to read this.
> This… this is torture! She had this planned, that sneaky conniving bastard!
> No! YOU! You gave her such a fucking broad question!
> You deserve this, upon sudden realization.
> Spending more time dilating your eyes in order to read her response than to contemplate the quality of her answer, another quester pops into your mind as you summon her quill to your side.
> The tip of it is so fine that you could carve into glass with it.
> Sigh. Alright, perhaps this was a bit more you can bargain for, but you must dredge on.
-----
> And trudge you did, for a whole fucking hour; there were FIVE questions, and the quiz took a half hour.
> As you purely expected in the end, you were more or less reading out of the books you teach with versus getting a half-assed response from her.
> The verdict? A+, 100%, etc. FYL
Twilight, come on over here.
> You wait to hear the pitter patter of her feet, a few moments of complaint for having to wait so long; upon hearing nothing of this and rather served a cold dish of silence, you venture out of your stuffy throne to see just what is going on.
> Man, it’s getting late now, you’re set on course for a good night’s res-
> …
> …?
> !!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osfHyln4Y4I
> Whether back on Earth or here on Equestria, you’ve never quite been gifted with such a treat.
> Here, let’s try to describe this properly, and we’ll do it in five words- sentence fragments, of course.
> Twilight. On table. Human. Naked.
> Your balls and towel drop, and Excalibur rises in its eternal glory, a fleshy phoenix emerging from the ashes.
> You don’t even have time to find a Pastor to beg for forgiveness of your sins, having been sent straight to heaven from the get-go, holy fuck!
> Your eyes turn into Hyper-Pervert mode, your eyesight converting into a technological viewpoint.
> Breasts: 36B, excellent!
> Position: Submissive Missionary, a classic but not for you!
> Body hair: You don’t know if she forgot to add it or what, but she’s as shaved as it gets down there!
> Vagina: … Purple?
> Wait, CUT THE MUSIC.
> That thing looks like it had a fight with a baseball bat.
> Fucking thing lost and got mugged.
Twilight, uh… wow, huh.
> Twi: “You know I was gonna ace it. Now, you said before that this is the standard position for me to be in?<3”
Yes, but… we need to take care of THAT.
> You point at the bruised looking area she calls a vagina hanging between her legs; seriously, the only way that thing could get that color naturally is a golf club swing upwards, in which she is most likely internally bleeding to death.
> Twi: “What, it’s… it’s my… you know… why are you making fun of me, you idiot!”
> She closes her legs resentfully, saving your eyes from having to be torn out.
Twilight, uhm… could you try making it the same color as your skin, perhaps a tint darker?
> Awkward silence gathers as she tries to swallow her pride to do the deed.
> Twi: “Erm, turn around then!”
What? You’re naked, what matter does it-
> Twi: “It’s not like I want to do this, this is for… study! Stop gawking at me like I’m something you eat at midnight! Idiot!”
> Turning around on the spot to appease the geeky goddess herself, you hear her mumbling and odd magical noises.
> After a few more moments of this, a few sparkles of light shoot around you as she “patches things up”.
> Twi: “Alright… now no more complaining!”
> Giving the most depressing sigh your throat can allow, you feel like this is more of a chore that a sexual fantasy; really, it’s like when your wife takes you clothes shopping and DAMN!
> DAYUM!
> 10/10, would ogle at again!
> Your penis fucking goes apeshit at this point, aiming north for the promised land.
Well, hm.
> With no better way of explaining it beyond the hues of pink and red, your humanized marefriend blushes vividly.
> Twi: “Anon, can’t you CONTROL that thing?”
> Excalibur: “Fool! No measly mortal can simply pilot the greatest sword in existence!”
> While she may not have heard your iron hard penis’s reply, the point has been made.
Sorry, Twilight. It knows what it wants, and it wants what it likes.
> You advance towards the table that she’s sprawled about, giving you yet another look of ire.
> Twi: “Hm. You really are a pervert. What would you do if I were to deny you right now, hehe~? You poor thing!”
> You’re back on the couch, your interest dropping as the golden sword screams with a rage of a thousand mother-in-laws.
I’ll just masturbate. Pasttime of mine, remember?
> She teleports onto the coffee table, standing haughtily at your act of not caring.
> At the very least, you admit that the sight of her making the perfect pose to that of Trojan Man is both very impressive and quite sexy.
> Twi: “I aced that quiz, you said I can do whatever I please!”
Alright, and you decided that you’d rather be a drastic cocktease; now, if I may-
> Your right hand moves to grapple your mighty weapon, only to have magic push it away.
> It appears she’s not going to give up that easily.
> Twi: “HOLD IT!”
I was trying to DO THAT!
> Twi: “You’re trying to jerk off when I’m right here, you debauched scoundrel!”
What, you’re borrowing that marshmallow pony’s insults, now?
> She ignores that you’re fucking around with her, and she pull out of nowhere a-
> Is that… is that what you think it is?
Twilight, please tell me that you’re not going to-
> Twi: “I must know! With this tape measurer, I’ll be able to calculate your length and proper girth!”
> She hops down between your legs and kneels down, reaching towards a thrilled Excalibur.
> Her fingers within inches of it, she hesitates, her blush matching yours suddenly;
> Yeah, this is really awkward.
> But hot!
Don’t you dare start comparing to others, and I swear to leave you three miles under Equestria’s crust if you give me a cut with that thing. What unit system do you even measure it in?
> She shows you the length of the wiggle measuring tool; the SAM system…
> The Standard Apple Measurement. Nice.
> Twi: “Alright, let me just… do I have to touch it, I mean? It’s just so WEIRD…”
> If Twilight is going to stand right in front of it, kneeling, NAKED, you’re damn right she’s going to be yanking your dick.
Yes, Twilight.
> It’s a mixture of anxiety and glee; was she against the idea, or just waiting for permission? Only time will tell as the end of her fingers grab the tip from above.
AHMAHCELESTIADATFEELSOGOOD.
> She smiles excitedly, having done you some deed of pleasure.
> Twi: “Ah, does that feel good?!”
No, Twilight, it’s unfortunate that it doesn’t work that way, not unless I cast a physical ecstasy spell MMMmmm.
> She does a full one handed motion with her hand, all the way down to the hilt.
> You suddenly realize how much more enjoyable it is when you have someone else doing the dirty work.
> Twi: “Now, don’t be ejaculating on me just yet, I need to do some calibration checks after I determination your volume.”
> She doesn’t even get to see it, the spell you’ve suddenly casted.
> Low Mystical Sexual Spell, Level 7: “The Long Haul” Style.
> This one you made yourself; you magically desensitize the nerves leading to the testicles, allowing you to remove the ability to actually fire the gun.
> Perhaps ruins the fun a bit, but you can hold off until the right moment and BOY when that moment happens, hehe.
Go wild, Twilight, don’t worry about the smaller det-
> KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. You check the time: it’s almost 10PM now.
> Who in their right minds is coming over this late?
> Twi: “Ugh, err… were you expecting company?”
No… you?
> The look she brings upon you is enough to answer that one as she grabs your bath robe and makes her way to the door.
Heya, should I cover myself or-?
> She makes it to the still pounding door and, with a few twists and turns, unlocks it to find…?
> Applejack: “Heya Twili- WHOA! Is that you, Twilight?!”
> Twi: “Yes it is, Applejack. Is something the matter? It’s awfully late.”
> AJ: “I reckon it is a bit late, but I needed a place to stay for dah night, Big Mac and I gots into a bit of a tumbling and he won’t leave, so I uh… hehe, y’know…”
> Twi: “… You want to stay the night here again?”
> Oh boy, you know where this is heading.
> AJ: “Yeah! I was hopin’ I wouldn’t be interrupting you and Spike, and that Anon and Trixie fella is here too, right?”
> Twi: “Well, we are kinda busy, but if you have nowhere else to go…”
Come on in! She’s just doing some research is all!
> Applejack didn’t see or notice your presence from the couch until the door was abruptly pulled the rest of the way open, revealing you hanging over the couch.
> Still stark naked, you’ve managed yourself into a dignified position worthy of that of Playboy.
> You sexy tiger you.
> Twi: “Anon, I really don’t think this is a good-“
> AJ: “I’m thinkin’ this is a GREAT idea! But Anon, why’s you all not in your usual clothing stuffs?”
Twilight’s measuring my dick for studying purposes.
> That turns her pink, and earning Twilight a grievous sigh.
> And what were the chances; it’s starting to rain, as if on schedule.
> Oh wait, it probably is.
> Twi: “Anon, you shut up. Applejack, come on in, but I’d prefer if you go and wait up-“
> Applejack struts on in like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire, taking the opposite end of the couch.
> You check your cup of fucks given just to be sure; as expected, it’s completely empty.
> You’re a fucking wizard, might as well enjoy what the night has for store.
> AJ: “Holy apple pies! You sure got something going on down there!”
> Twi: “Applejack! Don’t be talking about my… my lover like that!”
> She looks at you for some sort of embarrassment, shame for being naked; you swear in a former life you must have been a nudist, because you’re loving the feel of leather on your buttocks.
> AJ: “Sorry, ehe. You’re doing sort of fancy research on him, eh? Whatcha doing now?”
> Both you and Twilight are still trying to determine if Applejack is naïve enough to not fully understand or respect the common rules of “your first time”.
> Maybe Twilight likes an audience, perhaps you’ll find out?
> Twi: “I was, er… should she be her, Anon? Is this normal?”
She’s your friend, Twilight. It’s probably not the most orthodox thing, but it’s not bothering me a bit that she’s here. So long as she doesn’t try to jump my dick, anyways.
> AJ: “Aww, shuck, Twilight! You know I wouldn’t do anything to my best friend! Perhaps this IS a bit weird, but I’ve never seen anything like that happen!”
> Twi: “I, err…”
> She’s still plenty red before, but it most certainly does not stop her from going into brighter hues and enters panic mode.
Relax, Twilight. If you don’t like it I can revert time to a previous state and leave her outside to get soaked.
> AJ: “Hey, that’s not funny! It’s pourin’ out there now, y’know!”
> Twi: “Hehe, alright. But this is for science, alright?”
Science, my name is Anon, prepare to be conquered! Oh, whoops~.
> Apparently the desensitization spell makes your dick limp due to lack of stimulation, you would’ve thought the mental aspect alone would have kept it up.
> AJ: “Is it sahppose to do that?”
> Twi: “I, I don’t know, Anon?”
> You lift your hand, stick your thumb into your mouth, and pretend to blow air into it.
> “Just like magic”, your dick rises with a few exhalations.
Party’s back in full swing, let’s get the girth part taken care of.
> AJ: “That’s so awesome, how’d ya do that?”
> You turn your head and give her the slyest look the goddess of snarkiness can offer you.
It’s all magic, baby. All magic.
> Twi: “Quit losing focus, idiot!”
> She’s back into her kneeling position, using magic to hold up a clipboard and pen while she measures your circumference. Why? You don’t know, she’s Twilight Sparkle.
Wanna see a spell I learned, Applejack?
> AJ: “Uh, sure!”
> Transfiguration Spell, Level 3: Enlargement Style.
> Twilight jumps back as Excalibur turns into the Buster Blade, and you begin suffering from a mild stroke from the sudden transfer of blood.
> Twi: “Eep, ANON! Quit turning your penis different sizes!”
> AJ: “HOLEY MOLEY!”
Limit Break: Ominslash!
> It begins swiping around in random motions, like a writhing anaconda caught on fire.
> Twi: “ANON!”
Alright, alright!
> Reverting it back into a more humble state, Applejack giggles as Twilight grumbles.
> AJ: “Hey Twilight, at least ya don’t hafta worry about size being an issue!”
> Twi: “Are you kidding me?! Did you see that thing? I couldn’t handle something like… like that… I think…”
If you turn your vagina into a gaping hole, I’m not going to have sex with you.
> She flicks your penis in annoyance; it wobbles a bit in response, demanding more attention.
> Twi: “Who says we’re going to have sex tonight, ANON?”
> The look she gives is both pleading and one that simply says, “say the truth in front of Applejack, and I’ll cut it off and feed it to Spike”.
I don’t know, I guess I read the stars wrong tonight or something. (I dare you to resist that fine thing in your hands, my faithful student.)
> She realizes the last words were transferred through thought, the physical connection being through her hands and your dick.
> Twi: “(What, you don’t think I can hold out?)”
(Sweetheart, there’s a reason why you set yourself up on that table.)
> AJ: “What, you all aren’t gonna buck tonight? I hope it’s not cuz of me…”
> Twi: “There, that’s done, and no, we were, uhm…”
Yes, we’re going to have sex, whether or not you’re here, Applejack.
> Twi: “Ehhh?!”
> AJ: “Oh, good! If you don’t mind, I’mma go fix sumptin to eat while you guys do your ‘research’, ehe!”
> Twi steals glances at you in shock as Applejack strides off to the kitchen.
> Twi: “Anon, are you CRAZY?!”
Suck it.
> Twi: “Err, what?”
Suck my dick.
> Yeah, you just said that, how modest of you.
> Twi: “Err, you mean, like, put it in my mouth?”
Yes, it’s known as fellatio.
> Twi: “But, the mouth? That can’t be healthy, or tasty.”
It’s something you should learn, in any case. It’s not uncommon for human couples to have this occur on both ends.
> Twi: “You would put YOUR mouth on my-?”
The night is still young, Twilight. Suck it.
> You tap the tip of your weapon, magic traveling down its length.
> You just made it taste like apples. You hope Applejack doesn’t catch a whiff of it.
> Twi: “Ugh, fine, just… don’t look at me while I do it, alright? This is embarrassing.”
As you wish.
> Of course, the pleasure doesn’t reach you fully with the blue balling spell you clamped yourself with, but looking off to the distance as Twilight slowly takes a lick off the top.
> Twi: “Wait, this is… apples?”
> AJ: “Somep0ny say mah name?”
> She’s heading from the kitchen, acting like a true moocher with a late dinner in hoof.
> She nearly drops it when she sees Twilight in such a humbling act.
> AJ: “Whoa, hold on der! What in the hay is going on?!”
I’m teaching her a few tricks on how to make appetizers before the main course.
> Twi: “Mmrphm.”
> AJ: “Huh, can I try?”
> Twi: “MMRRRRPHF!”
Sorry.
> AJ: “Heyehehe, I’m just teasing you two, don’t mind me!”
> It’s hard to ignore her when you’re instructed not to pay attention to your marefriend giving you a blowjob.
So, uh… what did you and Big Mac, was it?
> AJ: “Oh, him? He’s my big brother, he started talking about who gets to do what in the field tomorrow, and I didn’t like dat one bit.”
Ah. Couldn’t work on a solution?
> Twi: “Mmrphuh! How much longer, Anon?”
Just a little bit more, practice makes perfect.
> You notice out of the corner of her eye as she timidly tries to turn your dick into a popsicle.
> You stroke her hair and move it to behind, grabbing it and coaxing her to move up and down.
> AJ: “Nah, we’re both a bit hotheaded when it comes to work, and he’s been doing most of the hard stuff! I hate it when he makes me do the lil stuff, y’know?”
Awwww yeah… I know how that can get.
> Nah, you’re just making conversation while Twilight rocks your cock with her mouth. Feels good man.
> AJ: “So I go up to him and tell him ‘yah can’t do everything like that, it needs more teamwork’! He just goes and nopes me, and ah might’ve pushed him, then shove, and then… well, I’m here, ain’t I?”
Hopefully the two of you can work something out.
> Twilight finally chokes and comes up for air, heaving from her priceless work.
Alright, take a break and write some notes on that dear.
> You love being a professor.
> The end(?)