> “After taking a couple tests and looking at the charts, it appears you do indeed have some sort of astigmatism. Thankfully the amount of correction needed is small, and so the options you have available are plentiful.”
> Although Twilight spent a good portion of the train ride to Canterlot trying to persuade you that her needing you to read to her was merely a joke, you stood adamantly on the spot and told her this was merely a side quest to the date for today.
> It most certainly did not help the mood when the two of you stepped outside the day after the brewing lesson to find that both Trixie and her wagon were gone.
> No note or final words, she must’ve flown out in a fit of rage and left without a look back, much to your disappointment.
> It was a sad moment, hallowing the inside of you with weight of the meaning; despite your “occasional” neglecting, you did sincerely like her, as well as enjoyed teaching her.
> She had potential! She was just… different in handling it.
> With the right hand (or hoof) prodding her in the right direction, she most certainly could have become just as skilled as Twilight.
> Perhaps, one day, and you say this with the slimmest hopes, she’ll return in seeking magical knowledge; and when she does, you’ll be waiting.
> You don’t like doing things halfheartedly, when it comes to teaching.
> Wait. Oh, yes. As per the usual, you’ve managed to zone yourself out from the present.
> Still in the optometrist’s room, with a half dozen tools of measurement latched around Twilight’s head, you remind yourself of the doctor’s weight in words.
> It appears that Twilight has already made several calculations herself, and is the first to reply.
> Twi: “My… my eyesight is actually below average?”
> Doctor: “Unfortunately, it’s a case of myopic disalignment, meaning that you’re partially farsighted and nearsighted at certain distances; your myopic adjustment is about -1.00 and your eyesight is around 20/60. You obviously have been living fine without glasses, but you’ll definitely notice a difference when you wear them, or if you choose to undergo magical corrective surgery.”
> Oh yes, because regular corrective surgery just wouldn’t cut it, they have to go full blown magical. Thank Nayru it’s not your eyes.
> Twi: “I… I see. Thank you. Can I talk to Professor Anon alone for a moment? I need to hear his advice.”
> Doctor: “But, of course! I studied with this guy before when I was training to become an optometrist! This pony- I mean, human-, err, fella is one mean genius! Hehe, yeah.”
Thanks, doctor. I remember the good times too, hope everything’s been doing alright for ya.
> Doctor: “Oh yes, most certainly! I’ve landed a job here at this clinic, and I’ve been doing pretty well ever since, helping ponies see the world in a new light. I heard you went on to become a teacher, right?”
Yeah, I went to teacher at Greybeard’s for almost a year before I resigned and went into private practice.
> Doctor: “Uh huh, tutoring Twilight Sparkle here, I see. Well, considering the buzz about each the two of you, I-“
… Buzz?
> Doctor: “Well, you see, Twilight Sparkle is notorious for several feats both in Equestria and Equestria in general!”
> Twi: “Hehe, didn’t you know, Anon?”
Oh, I know; Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis. You’re just lucky I wasn’t there, I would have stolen your thunder and Mary Sue’d em.
> Twilight gives an indignant look, as if your impersonation of Trixie was ticking her off.
Look, I was joking, alright? That stuff was over three years ago. I COULD go back in time and-
> Twi: “Equestrian law demands that you do not unsettle the course of time unless absolutely necessary and only if you are fully capable of-“
Look! See my smile? Kooky grin? I’m joking, alright?
> You must be rustling her jimmies, for she appears somewhat upset now; perhaps she’s not so happy with this medical examination, and you’re simply making it worst.
> After a moment of silence, the doctor realizes that he was supposed to leave despite not doing so.
> Doctor: “Oh, right! I’m not supposed to be here! I’m supposed to let you guys talk. I’ll be back in a few minutes, then.”
See ya soon, Doc.
> With that, he undoes the deathgrip that the machine has on Twilight’s face, and departs in a way that leaves the two of you in stroppy silence.
-----
> Twi: “So, what do you think?”
About what, particularly? There’s too many subjects for you to be vague about.
> Twi: “My eyes, idiot.”
I’m honestly surprised you never noticed, sweetheart. Of course, there’s not that many signs to read in Ponyville, and you read all the time in a distance where it’s close up; it does make sense that finer print would give you trouble though.
> Twi: “Most of the older books I couldn’t read, but I was always too embarrassed to admit it. I usually had Spike read out loud while I do other things to make up for it.”
And he never suspected a thing?
> Twi: “Anon, puh-lease. I’m Twilight Sparkle, the master of multi-tasking.”
> That earns a chuckle or two from the both of you.
Fair enough. On a serious note, however, I would recommend at least reading glasses, just to give them a shot. I personally had a similar problem that I had fixed before I came here.
> Twi: “You… used glasses?”
Oh yeah. I wore them for years before I had corrective surgery. I was nearsighted, was nearly bloody blind after about 40 feet. Now I see fine.
> She takes your case in the utmost highest of consideration for a fair minute, chewing on the facts with both your and her experiences until she formulates her conclusion as per the usual.
> Twi: “Alright. I’m just afraid that my friends might make fun of me.”
They won’t, and if you’re nervous they don’t have to know at first. Never be ashamed of such a thing, Twilight. Some people, or ponies, need to admit that they have physical faults. Yours is eyesight, mine is now absurd tallness.
> Perhaps not exactly a deformity back at home, but it does put you at a slight disadvantage here; you’re dwarfing the fucking chair you’re sitting in, after all.
> You wonder if they’ll notice if you make the damn thing bigger.
> Probably.
> Twi: “Alright, if it helps with my studies, I’ll do it. But only for my lessons.”
That’s the spirit, sweetheart. I also have a present for you after we go out to eat.
> Twi: “A present?!”
> Her face lights up like a Christmas Eve light display with the mere mention of a gift from her lover; perhaps a reward more than anything, you spent a better part of a night working on it with a mixture of old skills and magic.
Yup, but you won’t get to see it til we’re done here and we have our date~.
> Twi: “Hehe, alright, fine! But it better be good, or else you’ll be sorry!”
Twilight, please. When I have ever disappointed you? And don’t answer that, I honestly don’t want to hear read off a list.
> You both laugh again as she walks over, closing the distance as the two of you share a slight peck on the lips.
> Twi: “You know how to make me happy, Anon.”
Well, glad I know I’m good at something, huh?
> And that’s when the doctor came back in.
> Thank goodness too, Twilight was giving ya the ol’ googly eyes.
-----
> Doctor: “Alright, so you decided on getting glasses, which is both recommended and an excellent choice! We have to work on making them according to your eyes, and we’ll have it shipped over within a day or two. In the meantime, I hope you’ll manage without them, and so I bid you two a good day, alright?”
> Twilight rolls her eyes for the first time to somep0ny of a professional standard.
> Twi: “I managed to live for this long without them; I’ll manage to hold on for a couple more days.”
> She says this with as little emotion as possible, as if she isn’t making a life altering decision. Like a boss, you suppose?
> Doctor: “Aha, fair enough! Ever the poignant one, aren’t you? In any case, everything is all set, and you two take care.”
Thanks, Doc. Alright, Twilight. I’m craving something to eat. Ponyville or Canterlot?
> Twi: “Canterlot, of course! I might be your student, but any mare would prefer to be treated decently now and then~!”
-----
> And so you were in the vicinity of Canterlot in search of a fine restaurant; honestly, any place with a decent ice cream would be fine by you, but you’re following Twilight at this point in her venture for the perfect date place.
Do you honestly know where you’re going?
> Twi: “Of course I do! Well, no, maybe. I remember seeing it as a filly and I always told myself ‘I want to go there one day!’. I just can’t seem to… ah! There!”
> She points with zeal over at a place a block or two away; taking interest in the place that will likely make a dent in your already bulging wallet sitting in the nonexistence of a dimension somewhere, you’re humored with the name of the place:
The Grimleich Brother’s Gilded Lily. I think it originally said “Brothel” at the bottom, but they painted it out. Uh, Twilight, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I don’t think-
> Twi: “No buts! I’ve always wanted to eat here, and that is that!”
Sigh. Suit yourself.
-----
> Alright, so your first impression of the overly named “restaurant” was mostly off; it is not a whorehouse of such dubious nature.
> However, its namesake does carry some meaning; despite being naked in most senses, the waitresses here are wearing the most obscene fashions one could think of.
> Are they waitresses at this point, or barmaids?
> Mostly consisting of tight leather and flashy silks, the mares help this place give off the air of a bar that lacks smoke and alcohol. Perhaps this is the joint where sailors and other ruffian ponies go to be all macho to the ladies.
> Twi: “Well, uhm… let’s have a seat, shall we?”
> You give her the biggest shit-eating grinning you have available.
After you, sweetheart.
> Finding yourself to the cleanest table in the lot (this actually takes close physical examination), you seat yourselves and wait for a middle aged mare to make her way over.
> It doesn’t help that there’s over a dozen burly stallions sitting about and talking over random shit, all the meanwhile make gestures over towards you and snickering.
> You give it about ten minutes, if even that.
> The waitress is finally over at your table, giving the two of you a deadeye that was enough to make small children cry.
> Her cutie mark is a broke bottle.
> “Can I’z help ya?”
> Twi: “Yes, please, uhm, we’d like two menus to see what we can have here? First time visitors, hehe.”
> She taps her board with a writing utensil of some sort in her mouth for a moment, as if the motion will grant her the patience to get her through the day; upon finishing this, she points over at the board on the far end of the restaurant.
> “Today’s menu is all’z dere for ya’s to read-duh. What’d ya like to drink?”
> You’re quick to the draw, already pulling two meals for the both of you before she forces herself to strain her eyes trying to read the menu.
Two shots of your spicy vegetable soup, and two of the most expensive drinks you got here, if you could.
> She eyeballs you like a circus freak that’s caught aflame.
> “You payin’ and stayin’?”
How much will it come about?
> She crunches a few numbers, her eyes rolling about as you observe the poorly applied makeup.
> This mare just makes you want to hug her; she’s must’ve had a rough life to work here.
> “Bout’ 15 bits, providing you wantin’ a second glass of the flamin’ cider we gots brewin’.”
Make it twenty bits, bonus two bits going your way if you can make my spicy soup spicier. Is that alright, Twilight?
> Twi: “Oh, yes. That’s, uh, fine.”
> The waitress grits her teeth lazily, debating as if you’re bullshitting her or not.
> “I don’t suppose you coulds pay upfront?”
> Feast your eyes on the magic, you pull a hand into the inside of your coat, stop time, transport 24 bits into a bag from the nether, unfreeze time, and pull it out.
Of course. Twenty for the meal, and four bits tip because you’re a great waitress, and you’re beautiful.
> With all the bits you’re making, might as well make her smile; and beam she does upon looking into the bag, seeing that there was indeed a legitimate amount of gold there.
> “Well, I’m so… flattered, whys thank you. I’z didn’t means to sound suspicious, mister, I just-“
Don’t worry about it, dear. Personally, I don’t think you need all that makeup, considering you have such a natural complexion that is sparkling.
> You’re making this fucker almost twice your age blush.
> A more interesting thing to note? Twilight is ogling her butter knife.
> “Oh, you! Saying that in front of your special somep0ny, you tease!”
She knows that she’s the most beautiful mare in the world for me.
> The waitress looks over to Twilight with somewhat motherly eyes, as if she’s warming up to the two of you.
> A couple of thugs are also looking over, somewhat perceivable from your peripherals.
> “Well, she’s definitely lucky to have such a kind whatever-you-are to treat her nice.”
> Twi: “Hehe, thank you.”
> Perhaps it took her two minutes to realize that this isn’t the restaurant she dreamed of entering, but you’ve ordered, you’ve paid, and now the two of you are stuck here.
> The order written and with a smile, the waitress balances the clipboard on her head professionally and ventures onto the back room.
> Twilight’s voice sharpens into a whisper, leaning towards you.
> Twi: “Quit being a flirt to eveyp0ny but me, you jerk!”
I do flirt with you, you just don’t notice, you sexy animal you!
> Twi: “That’s just absurd and generic, do better next time!”
> What the hell, did you just flunk in flirting class?
-----
> A couple minutes pass in partial silence between the two of you, the awkward atmosphere sedating your interest in looking around a bit.
> This hellhole would be shut down in an instant if a health inspector came in here; there’s more cobwebs than any grandmother’s basement could hold, did they intentionally put it there?!
> Twilight’s eyes catch yours for a moment and the both of you share sheepish grins for a moment.
> There’s enough chatter in the hut that you don’t have to worry too much on being eavesdropped. Maybe.
> Twi: “So, uh, nice place, huh?”
You picked it. I don’t mind it much, but we have about seven minutes left.
> Twi: “Til our food arrives?”
Sure.
> You’re calling it still, it’s gonna happen.
> Twi: “Alrighty, then. So, tell me about yourself.”
What do you want to know?
> Her face grows curious at this response, as if she prepared a list for such an occasion.
> Twi: “Blood type.”
O negative. Universal giver.
> Twi: “Hm. Secret hobby.”
Nice try, you’ll figure out afterwards.
> She was trying to guess your gift there, the snarky little bastard.
> Twi: “Damn… other secret hobbies.”
I used to play the piano.
> Twi: “Piano? What’s that?”
> As you suspected, there’s no such thing as a piano in this world.
It’s a musical instrument that has a wide range of notes that, with my fingers, I could play songs.
> Twi: “You can use your fingers to play notes? That’s awesome!”
Unfortunately, it’s been years since I played anything, because apparently hooves don’t fit them well, and as such there’s not many here.
> Twi: “But that’s not true! I swear I saw a pony play something like that at the Galloping Gala before.”
Oh really, now? Huh. Perhaps I could see into getting one then, and play it for you.
> She glows with delight, and pulls out a schedule from seemingly nowhere but below the table.
What in Farore’s name are you doing?
> Twi: “I have a wishlist. I’m adding ‘have Anon play a song for me on the pi-an-o’ to it.”
And what else is on this so-called list?
> Twi: “Classified information, teehee~!”
> Just as soon as the note appeared, the note was jotted down and disappears without a trace. Huh.
> Before you can make any sort of response or retort, however, three lovely gentlecolts (and you say that very sarcastically, they look like depraved hoodlums to you) approach your table in the cockiest way imaginable.
> Taking a glance, you’re clocking it at seven minutes before you were approached by a bunch of assholes.
> As you said before, you called it happening.
-----
> Two pegasi, one earth pony. Three annoying little bitches wanting to voice a sound complaint, you’re sure.
> Pegasus(1): “Hey, punk.”
> Oh, boy.
Heya, can I help you?
> E. Pony(1): “Yeah, you can get out.”
> Twi: “I’m sorry, but we already paid for here, and we can’t just-“
> The first pegasus, a dark mane looking fellow with a knick over his left cheek, taps his front hooves on the table towards Twilight.
> Pegagus(1): “Perhaps we didn’t make ourselves clear, toots. We don’t like your kind in here. Get. Out.”
> Twi: “Alright, geez. Let’s just get are refund and-“
> At this time, several things happened at once; the first pegasus reached for Twilight, and the second pegasus jumped in a similar maneuver towards you.
> Now, slowing time to a trickle, you hopped over to the next stall, walked around the three, and took a good grip on the Twilight’s soon to be offender’s mane; just as you reverted time back to normal, you launched the fucker backwards into the floor.
Don’t touch my mare, and we are not doing shit until we’re done eating.
> The earth pony and the second pegasus look in bewilderment at their fallen comrade, who’s having a small bit of trouble getting back into a dignified position.
> Pegasus(1): “Tch… rough him up, boys!”
> It was over within a minute.
> You didn’t do anything that would have scarred them for life bar their humility, but you gave a few swings and broke a couple noses.
> The earth pony thought it was a great idea to buck at your shins; sweeping to the side, he kicks the table and you land a swift blow to his ribs, launching him a few yards into the air.
> The second pegasus, the quiet one, was nimble enough to land a hit from the side just out of view, but you roll with it and send him crashing into the floor.
Quit wasting my time.
> Letting them groan and shuffle together, you sit back down and look over to Twilight.
Are you alright?
> Twi: “Anon, your cheek, it’s bleeding a bit.”
Ah, let me just cast a-
> Twi: “Let me try it, I learned to do this sort of stuff before.”
> And so she comes over and applies magical first aid, smearing a light cold sensation and eases the bruising before it builds.
> The beaten three sees you sitting there in a laid back manner as your student/lover gives medical treatment, and they decide to sling vulgar insults instead of resorting to physical contact.
> Pegasus(1): “Oh boo, hoo, hoo! The big bad ape has to have mommy put bandaids on him after he gets his plot kicked!”
> Twilight, beside herself in fury alright, uses the magic and lifts him into the ceiling before smashing him into the ground.
Twilight, ignore them. They’re just troublemakers.
> The mouthy pegasus, now black and blue, is more hesitant to catcall this time, but he’s trying to scrape some sort of victory out of it.
> Pegasus(1): “You’ll never be welcomed here, monkey. I still can’t believe a hot unicorn would fall in love with a hairy beast like you, it’s disgusting.”
> Twi: “See, Anon? At least he calls me hot.”
Fine, I’ll try to point out the obvious more often.
> This earns you a smirk as she finished up the healing spell, much to the guy’s sound defeat.
> E. Pony: “We’ll wreck you, and your marefriend. We’ll make sure when we take you out, we’ll give her a fine lovin’ she couldn’t refuse-“
> ???: “Hello, Anon, Twilight Sparkle. I was told you were here, and I was hoping we could spend some time together instead of resorting to letters this time.”
> Lo and motherfucking behold, as if this could be the day of all days to be completed like this, her royal majesty Princess Celestia has successfully tracked you down, and is asking for a meal between the three of you.
> Alongside half a dozen guards.
> Twi: “Pr-Princess Celestia!”
> Every single pony in the joint that was watching the fight, even the gruff gryphon in the back, left their chairs and descended into a gracious bow.
> The waitress, who was bringing the food just at this moment, rushed to get it on the table and works a curtsy just in time.
> If you manage a half bow.
> Celestia: “Hello, my faithful student, although I can’t say that anymore, can I?”
> Twi: “Of course you can! Even if Professor Anon-“
> You cough.
> Twi: “I mean, even if Anon is teaching me, I will forever see you as my teacher from the past, and for the future.”
> Princess Celestia smiles for a moment at this, and turns towards you with a slightly more serious look.
> Celestia: “Hello, Anon. I would like to state that this is an interesting place for you to take Twilight Sparkle on a date.”
My greetings to you too, fair Princess. As for this place, I believe the honor for choosing it goes to Twilight. Her dream date or something or another.
> Twilight giggles nervously as the Princess joins near the table, the guards surrounding her in a somewhat intimidating manner.
> Princess: “Is that so? Most interesting. In regards to THOSE three…”
I don’t suppose you heard them?
> Princess: “I did.”
> The first pegasus gulped at this, and you’re going to make another bet with yourself on what’s gonna happen next.
> Pegasus(1): “Please, your majesty, if we knew that he was a friend of yours-“
> Celestia: “Arrest these three for assault and both premeditated murder and sexual assault, guards. I’ll deal with them later.”
> You don’t know if these mofos were fed steroids as colts or what, but they made short work in detaining the trio and removing them from the facility, earning some sort of applause from the audience of customers there.
> Apparently they either didn’t like the three, or they have different opinions with their supreme ruler being in the company of yourself and Twilight.
> In any case, the waitress gives her deepest apologies for not having anything ready, and swiftly attempts to take her order.
> “What woulds you like, your Majesty?”
> Celestia: “Some tea, if you could.”
> Now, you don’t know if this joint actually has tea, but you bet your ass that this waitress is going to procure some pretty damn quick.
> Celestia: “So, what are you two enjoying?”
Spicy vegetable soup. I love spicy things.
> Twi: “I hate spicy stuff.”
> Celestia: “I love spicy things as well, oddly enough.”
> Twi: “I know, right? The taste of it is most wonderful!”
> Suck up.
> After talking for a few minutes, the guard all the meanwhile eyeballing anyone who dare looks too long, you realize that there’s a joke just waiting to be made out of this;
> So a wizard, his girlfriend, and the ruler of their country all went into a bar…
> You’ll have to work something out of this, that present is gonna have to wait.
> The End.