Never in all his life had Edward Hawkins seen a more disgusting and revolting sight. Between the blades of grass, who try so hard to shield him from it, is the all-powerful, all-lifegiving, all-agitating sun. The single greatest power within convenient distance from Earth. And at the moment it is the single greatest annoyance in Edward's life. Those who have never woken up in a freshly dew-laden backyard lawn surrounded by beer cans and solo cups wondering where their sneakers are have never viewed the sun with such contempt. Sometimes Edward thinks he envies those people. However those thoughts always become invalid and somehow seem objectively wrong when he jumps back off the wagon. He turned his head the other way, shut his eyes and rested a while longer. He knew he couldn't stay much longer, but at that moment nothing seemed as precious to him as a few more minutes of sleep.
 
It seemed to be no more than a second after he closed his eyes that he felt the bottom of someone's All-Stars at the back of his neck, the wearer of said shoes pressing down on his neck liberally. By the house's shadow, however, he can tell that he'd slept in at least another hour. Now it seems this clown has a problem with his sleeping habits. The guy seems like the persistent type too. Edward figured he'd better just deal with it or else this guy may never let him get back to sleep.
 
"Good morning, beautiful," Edward said, not even having lifted his face from the ground. His voice was muffled from the grass and stifled and frail from his hangover, but surprisingly chipper for a man in a position such as his. His tone didn't seem to resonate with his oppressor as the rubber sole of the shoe only pressed harder into his jugular. Especially so when he said "beautiful".
 
"Get the fuck up!" hissed a squeaky feminine voice.
 
Edward paused mentally for a second, thrown off by the squeaky-brute's voice. He also just realize that he accidentally called this girl beautiful. It's one of those compliments very few women appreciate from a man who regularly finds himself waking up on other's lawns.
 
"Well I'd seriously consider it if I had the ability to lift my neck," he said.
 
She sighed an annoyed sigh and stepped off his neck making sure to put more of her weight on him as she stepped off. He slowly rolled over onto his side and looked at her. She couldn't have been more than one-hundred-ten pounds, but still his neck was relieved. He also noticed that she actually was quite beautiful. She had blond hair and wore a white spaghetti strap top with black short shorts and pink flip flops. She resembled something like one of those girls in the Girls Gone Wild commercials that play on Comedy Central late at night, but a bit less plastic. She seemed to have a beauty about her that transcended God-given physical appearance. It was something like a beauty of character. Beauty of her confidence. All of those things that can only be taught to someone, not bought or breed. But then again Edward was still a bit drunk from last night. She also had an open boxcutter in her hand which Edward found disturbingly sexy.
 
Now turned on his side Edward could see half of the yard he was laying in. The half that the girl was in. And behind her he could see a very large man laying back in a fold out, reclining lawn chair with a sawn-off Remington 870 resting on his lap and a Budweiser in his right hand letting the left one drape carelessly over the side of the chair. He was smiling at Edward with one of those smiles that just kind of lingers on the faces of someone righteously intoxicated. The man was drunk, but not sloppy drunk. If it weren't for his charcoal black Aviators Edward probably would've seen drooping red eyes too. Several freshly drunk beer cans formed a pile next to the man’s lawn chair and a small bong stood next to them. The man himself was an infinitely intimidating man of probably about six and a half feet and two-hundred-sixty pounds. Much of it muscle, but regardless all of it superior weight against Edward's runner's body. He was bald but had a short beard of nappy, black hair...
 
[This is all I got so far]