Captain Anonymous - Chapter 17 - Just A Few Tweaks
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>You sigh loudly as you take a seat and begin eating. As you eat, Twilight speaks up to you.
 
>”Anon, after breakfast we’re going to the Ponyville hospital. I saw all those bruises on you, the swollen eye, and I’m sure you probably broke your nose considering how terrible you looked yesterday.” She turns her attention to her brother. “Shining, you’re coming too to have them look at that busted lip. We all need to be clean, healthy, and presentable when we pull this off, we can’t look like we’ve been squabbling amongst ourselves.”
 
>You and Shining simply nod at Twilight, agreeing with her reasoning even though you don’t personally want to go to the hospital. You finish your breakfast, sipping down the last of the orange juice before slowly enjoying your coffee, closing your eyes with a soft “ahhhh…” as the steamy liquid passes your lips. You take your time, indulging yourself before pouring another cup. When the ponies finish their breakfast, you stand up with your coffee and begin to exit the dining room, beckoning them to follow.
 
“I’ll go to the hospital, but first we need to discuss the plan, as I said. It shouldn’t take long, come on.”
 
>The three of you take a seat in a meeting room. Shining and Twilight both perk their ears up and look at you, curious as to what you’re going to say.
 
“So we already know our schedule is going to be pushed back by two days,” you begin. “That in and of itself is a non-issue. However, while I’m expecting minimal violence, I’ve been having some thoughts as to the execution of the plan to further minimize the chance of violence, and to mitigate as much damage as possible should things go wrong and violence erupt.”
 
>You look at Twilight.
 
“Twily, the day before we pull this off, I want Ponyville evacuated of all civilians – JUST as a precaution. Can you meet with the mayor to plan for that?”
 
>”I suppose I could, Anon. The town already has an emergency evacuation plan in place, there are already ponies that are responsible for carrying it out should an evacuation be ordered, it won’t require any of our attention.”
 
“Good. Now, where exactly on the line was the train derailment? Can we still get to Canterlot?”
 
>Twilight nods, “We can if we need to, but why-“
 
“I’ll explain in a minute.”
 
>You turn to face Shining Armor.
 
“You left all your armor back at home in the Crystal Empire, right?”
 
>He nods.
 
“I have a question for you. Don’t think I’m being weird or anything, it’s important that I know.”
 
>”Go ahead, Anon, I’m listening.”
 
“Can you carry my full weight on your back?”
 
>He tilts his head at you.
 
>”Easily, why?”
 
>You scoot your chair away from the table.
 
“Prove it.”
 
>Shining also hops down from his seat and approaches you. Twilight watches you both curiously. You swing a leg and hop up onto Shining’s back, your feet off the ground just a couple inches. You feel his back bend slightly under your weight. He gives a snort, but you feel no signs of weakness or pain in him, instead feeling his powerful muscles tense up to compensate.
 
“Carry me around the room ten times.”
 
>”Why?”
 
“Just humor me.”
 
>Shining obliges you, a look of confusion on his face as he occasionally glances at Twilight, but shows no signs of distress. He stands still, waiting for you to get down or speak to him.
 
“I’m going to hold onto your mane, start walking for me again. Change your gait whenever you want to, go as fast as you want to, and I want you to, at random, rear up as high as you can ten times as you proceed around the room, and hold it as long as you can each time. I was an accomplished horseman back on Earth, I grew up riding, so don’t worry about catching me off guard, I won’t come off.”
 
>Shining does as you ask, varying his pace, walking and trotting, occasionally cantering. Each time he rears up you don’t feel it coming. You lean forward, holding onto his mane and gripping his sides a little tighter with your legs, and he’s able to maintain it for quite some time each time. By the time he finishes, his breathing is a little heavier, but he still hasn’t even broken a sweat. You slide off his back, patting his shoulder as you speak to him.
 
“Perfect, absolutely perfect. I never felt you shake or waver or struggle to carry me the whole time. Your strength and endurance is incredibly impressive, Shining. I never would have guessed any pony here would ever be able to carry me like that with such ease.”
 
>You both return to your seats, Twilight still looking confused
 
“How many of your troops will be arriving here once the tracks are cleared?”
 
>”30 of my best unicorn magi. That’s all we could spare.”
 
“That should be plenty. I’m going to need your best shot with me,” you turn to Twilight, “Twilight, I’m going to need a powerful telescope with dual-sights for me and whichever unicorn Shining assigns to me. We’re going to take this extra time to take a trip to Canterlot, we need to meet with Celestia and Luna,” you say, standing up. “I want as much of the Canterlot Royal Guard as possible to be here as well. They don’t have to be the best, but I want numbers, as many as can possibly be spared. I know the Canterlot Royal Guard has more pegasi than unicorns, but they’ll have their use as well.”
 
>Twilight looks at Shining Armor, then back at you with concern on her face.
 
>”Anon are you sure it’s wise to be making modifications to the plan at this point?”
 
“Tweaks, Twilight, just minor tweaks. Tweaks I feel will maximize our chance of success with the lowest risk of violence. You look over at Shining Armor again.
 
“You clearly had no trouble carrying me bareback, but would you be okay carrying me fully armored and saddled?
 
>Shining shrugs it off like it’s no big deal as he replies. ”Makes no difference to me. My back and legs are plenty strong enough. I could probably carry you all the way to Canterlot and back with no trouble. I do have to ask though, why do you want to ride me? What purpose does that serve?”
 
“Hear me out on this,” you say, returning to your seat to explain more, noticing the perplexed looks on both of their faces.
 
“When we bring that ship down, they’re not going to be happy with us. I don’t want them to be able to fire upon us at any point. I want the telescope because I’m going to direct your sharp-shooter to take out the ship’s weapons – it’s important that the forcefield be attuned to his magic to allow his shots to pass through undeflected.”
 
>You take a sip of your coffee, closing your eyes and savoring it before continuing.
 
“Cadance, Twilight, Celestia, and Luna will each be locking on to one of the platforms to reel them in once they’re caught, since they’re the only ones that can reach that far. When the ship is within the planet’s atmosphere, we’ll have some of the pegasi intercept them and physically push on the platforms to help bring the ship down, AFTER we take out their weapons.”
 
>Twilight’s ears twerk around in different directions as she listens to you. Shining Armor remains quiet and appears contemplative. Twilight speaks up.
 
>”That’s one part of the plan that was still kind of vague. What do we do with the ship once we have it?”
 
“If their commanding officer is competent at all, he’ll extend the ship’s landing gear and scan the surrounding area thoroughly. He may or may not order his crew to prepare to be boarded. However, we’re NOT going to board the ship.”
 
>Shining looks confused
 
>”But you said we’re going to take the ship, by force if necessary.”
 
“It may come to that but I seriously doubt it will,” you continue. “This is part of why I want to ride you.”
 
>Shining looks even more confused.
 
“When we get to Canterlot, we need to have you a new set of modified armor forged, to include a saddle with stirrups for me. It also needs to be able to accommodate a bridle and reins. It needs to be ornate and grossly ostentatious in design, to make it absolutely clear that you are an extremely important pony. I also intend to have a couple of decorative pieces of armor matching yours forged for myself. Will this pose a problem?”
 
>”It shouldn’t be a problem at all, the blacksmiths in Canterlot are highly skilled and could probably have such a custom order ready for us in under a day.”
 
“Excellent.”
 
>You look back to Twilight
 
“Rarity’s a miracle worker when it comes to clothing, right?”
 
>Twilight nods
 
>”I guess you could say so, yeah.”
 
“Then I want to meet with her before we leave. I haven’t worn my uniform in a long time and it needs some work. In fact, I might work with Rarity for a little while to have her convert it from a normal field uniform to a formal dress uniform.”
 
>”If you give her specific enough instructions I don’t see that being a problem.”
 
“Good, very good. Now let me tell you how I see all of this coming together.”
 
>You have Twilight and Shining Armor’s undivided attention.
 
“We set the ship down in an area that is slightly lower in elevation than where we will all be standing, but not so low that they can’t see the troops we have gathered. The forcefields will be maintained,” you look at Shining Armor.
 
“That’s when I ride you over the horizon, my trusty steed, decked out in your fancy armor, me holding your reins and wearing a bit of matching armor along with my military dress uniform. When it’s clear that they can see us, I want you to rear up, as though you’re an unwilling mount. We put on a little show for them, you buck and rear a couple times, I pull on your reins as you ‘fight’ me, and when I ‘bring you back under control,’ you lower your head in defeat.”
 
>Shining Armor continues listening intently, nodding along with you as you speak.
 
“Seeing this, it’s inevitable they’re going to make the assumption that I have achieved a position of great power, and maybe even that I’ve conquered your people somehow. They most likely wouldn’t believe you’d willingly let me ride you, so this part is important, spend a good minute or so within their sight trying to buck and rear and throw me off.”
 
>Shining Armor cocks his head to the side
 
>”Do you think that will actually work? What happens after you ‘subdue’ me?”
 
“It will work if you make it convincing, as though you’re seriously attempting to throw me off, and the look of shame and defeat on your face afterwards has to be as genuine as possible – that you’re submitting to me, but against your will.”
 
>You pause for several moments to enjoy a few more sips of your coffee before continuing.
 
“I then urge you forward, approaching the ship, having you rear up again as you come to a stop. They’ll have their sensors focused on us at this point, trying to make sense of the situation. That’s when I call out to them. It’s absolutely critical that all of the ponies involved appear subservient to me, and appear to be following my orders without question. Your boys are going to have to swallow their pride for a little while.”
 
>”I don’t think that’ll be a problem. They’ll do as their told. If I tell them they’re under your command, they’ll obey you. Same thing with the Canterlot Guard.”
 
“What about you Shining? This is going to be somewhat humiliating for you. Not only are those on board the ship going to see me astride you, all of your troops are going to as well. Are you still willing to go through with it?”
 
>Shining nods his head without hesitation.
 
>”Whatever it takes to keep anypony from getting hurt, I’m willing to do. I trust you if you think this will work. We’ve all been following your lead on this so far, and I don’t see any reason for that to change.”
 
“I need to ask you something else.”
 
>”Go ahead, Anon,”
 
“Of the troops you have coming, are any of them as strong as you? As in, would they be able to comfortably be saddled and carry a human on their back?”
 
>”Almost any of them should be able to. Why?”
 
“We need to have a set of armor with saddle built for that pony as well.”
 
>”What for?”
 
“So that their commanding officer has a mount, and can ride alongside me back to Twilight’s castle, where we can then begin discussing certain matters.”
 
>”I’ll select one of them and give them the order when they arrive,” Shining says.
 
“It’s my intent to follow through with the plan with as much theatrics as possible. I don’t want to use force. We have to be convincing though. When I call out to them, I intend to speak as follows with great authority in my voice.”
 
>You hesitate to continue, looking back and forth between Shining Armor and Twilight to monitor the expressions on their faces.
 
“Something along the lines of ‘I am King Anonymous, ruler and defender of the Allied Kingdoms of Equestria and the Crystal Empire. We bear you no hostile intent, however I demand to speak with your commanding officer at once. Please have him disembark from your vessel, alone and unarmed. You also have my word as a Captain of the Confederate Navy that he will not be harmed. He will be welcomed as a guest of our kingdoms, and will have my full protection, but it is a matter of great importance that we speak at once.”
 
>Twilight frowns and groans.
 
>”So you want everypony to pretend you’re the king!? Is this your way of getting back at me for last night!?”
 
“No, it’s not. Like I said, Twi, it’s just theatrics. We’re putting on a show for them. I’m not doing this for some kind of power-trip or sick thrill. I’m not going to disrespect any of you, but you all HAVE to make it look like I am your king, there can’t be any doubt in their minds. If we pull it off convincingly, there won’t be a single injury or casualty on either side, trust me when I say this.”
 
>Your eyes continue darting back and forth between Twilight and Shining Armor, Shining seeming more accepting of the idea than Twilight.
 
“Listen, I know for a fact if I were the commanding officer of that ship, if I saw a human mounted on a heavily armored and important-looking stallion with hundreds of ponies behind him waiting for his next command, I’d believe him when he proclaimed his title as “King,” and I’d be eager to speak with him.
 
>You sigh before continuing.
 
“I’m afraid we’ll have to convince Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to all act subordinate to me as well if we’re going to pull this off. The Confederacy has knowledge of the geopolitical makeup of Equestria and how it’s ruled from the intel they gathered from my ship before she was decommissioned.”
 
>You hesitate for a moment, looking down at the table.
 
“As a result, if they don’t see ALL of the princesses behind me appearing to obey me as well, they’re not going to buy it, and the likelihood of a violent reaction from them skyrockets. If at any point they discover they’re being deceived, it could provoke their entire crew into arming themselves and leaving the ship in order to engage us. We have to avoid that at all costs.”
 
>Twilight shakes her head and sighs.
 
>”If you really think this will work… I don’t know how Cadance, Luna, and Celestia are going to take this, but I guess we’re just going to have to talk them into going along with it.”
 
“Any enjoyment I derive from his will be from the pleasure of successfully outwitting one of my fellow captains once again. Pretending to be king is just a means to that end for me, so I don’t expect any of you to take any of what happens personally.”
 
>You get up from your seat and place a hand on Twi’s shoulder.
 
“Heck, if you all go along with this and it works, I’ll be as submissive to all of you as you want to be. I’ll get on my knees and clean all of your hooves with my tongue until they shine. Shining, I’ll get on all fours and let you ride me all around town until I collapse from exhaustion.”
 
>You place your other hand on Twilight’s other shoulder, rubbing her gently.
 
 “You can all humiliate me and stomp on my dignity in public to your heart’s content if you must when this is all over, but for right now all I’m asking is that you trust me and follow through with my instructions.”
 
>Twi gives a little snort before relaxing and ultimately sighing.
 
>”Alright, Anon. You can play king for a day I guess. Just don’t cross any lines.”
 
“I’ll do my best not to, Twi, and let me tell you for the billionth time, it’s all pretend, we’re putting on a show to deceive them, and as soon as the situation is safe we can drop the charade. Heck, if it makes you feel better you can pretend to be my queen.”
 
>”That’s quite alright, I’m already uncomfortable as it is being a princess.”
 
“So, we all agree that this is the correct course of action and know what to do?”
 
>Shining Armor nods immediately, Twilight hesitates before she does as well.
 
>Having finished your discussion, you fetch your old uniform from your room, the three of you then leaving the castle to make a visit to Rarity’s boutique.