>The cheery intro sounds , but instead of the regular opening montage, the camera pans down to Celestia standing in front of a large chapel
>”Greeting’s my little audience, and welcome to a very special edition of Celestia’s Stories!”
>The crowd of horses around her go apeshit, throwing flower petals and rice
>”On today’s episode we’ll be covering a past guest star on his wedding day!”
>It cuts to segments of the episode, with such memorable quotes as;
>“Foals watch this show!”
“She raped me!”
>And the unforgettable ”Anon, it says that you are….”
>She dramatically rips open the letter.
>”Are the father!”
>Cutting back to the church, Tia waves to Shining Armor as he enters the church
>”We gave Anon’s best colt, Shining Armor, a nice corsage with a camera inside. Now lets all watch and see how Anon is handling his Wedding Day!”
>The scene changes to a fish eye lens view of Anon sitting in his dressing room
>He’s sitting in a tux that seems chained to his body and is pounding a bottle of whiskey like there’s no tomorrow
>”Uh, hey Anon…how are you on your special wedding day?”
>He looks up, stares at the camera for a moment, then shrugs
“Terrible. I’m marrying a horse who’s pregnant with my human horse hybrid child who I’ll have to drown in a river.”
>”Oh…well listen man, thanks a bunch for doing this.”
>Anon looks up from his booze
“What?”
>”Marrying Cadence man! You’re taking a bullet for me, and I really appreciate it.”
>Anon stands and sways for a moment, kneels in front of Shining so he’s face to face with him
“Did you have anything to do with this stupid fucking marriage scam?”
>He gulps nervously and fiddles with the camera
1/2
>Anon glances down, frowns, and grabs it off his lapel
“Listen hear you cocksuckers. You can lock me in this monkey suit, you can marry me to this crazy fucking pink bitch, and you can pretend it’s all just a human overreacting.”
>He turns and slugs Shining
“But you can NEVER make me love her. You hear me Tia?!?! FUCK! YOU!”
>He throws the camera on the ground and stomps on it
>After a moment of static the show cuts back to Celestia, still smiling serenely
>”Oh dear, it appears our husband to be is having cold feet. But don’t fret my little viewers! We’ve got a special surprise for Anon to help change his mind!”
>The camera pans to Cadence, now heavily pregnant in her wedding dress, surrounded by a camera crew
>The show cuts to one of said cameras, and she smiles.
>”I know Anon is having doubts, but I’m happy Auntie is helping him see this is the right thing to do. Lets go say hi!”
>They enter the chapel and head to his dressing room
>Knocking, he opens the door and tosses Shining Armor’s unconscious body out
>She ignores it and enters
>”Hello sweetie!” she says, and kisses him on the cheek
“I hope you die in a fire.”
>”Oh you’re so outrageous! That’s why I married you!”
“I’m drowning the child in the river when he’s born.”
>”Oh hush now. Let me tie your tie for you.”
>She pulls it way to tight, and he makes a gagging noise
>Barely loud enough for the cameras to pick up, she whispers in his ear “Ruin my wedding, and I’ll drown you in my vagina.”
>She turns him to the camera and the both of them smile
>Cutting back to Tia, she’s moved into the crowd waiting for the service
>”Stay tuned my little ponies, for the wedding has hardly begun!”
2/2