+————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————+ |                                                                    | |    Looking for the archived update with all the spelling errors,   | |    lore discussions, shitposts, and images of cute cartoon         | |    horses? Follow this link:                                       | |                                                                    | |    https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/24275038/#24275333               | |                                                                    | +————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————+   >Discontinuity. >Twilight finds herself with a familiar sensation of having her body torn between two distant places. >A distant howling noise grabs her attention. >Is it Anonymous? >A dry sting of desert sand stings her nostrils.   >Twilight vision tumbles, suddenly dashed in the middle by a blue-yellow horizon. >"Oof!" >It keeps rotating for a while before slowing down. She's rolling in something hard, with patches of soft mush. >It's all incredibly hot and dry. >She comes to a stop in front of a pair of hardened leather boots.   >"Twilight, you okay?" >Sunset extends her hand at Twilight, helping her up.   >"Sunny? Ugh," groans Twilight, feeling the bruises down the length of her body. "Where are we?" >Sunset looks around. >A stretch of sand-covered asphalt, dotted with sparse alien-looking structures. >Some pedestrians take an interest in the dusted duo. >They're both lizards. Lizards with lasers. >One of them sticks its tongue out, gingerly licking an eyeball.   >Sunset raises an eyebrow. >"Well. It's not Earth, apparently."     >"Hell-o," says one of the large lizards. "I'm Liz. Ya'll just rollin' by?" >She's wearing a 'Joe Biden' T-shirt. >Sunset cringes. >"Now, THAT'S more familiar than it has any right to be."   >"Fucking Biden references," yells Twilight. "Out HERE? SERIOUSLY?" >Twilight stammers, then rolls up into a fetal position. Her face is buried in her knees. >"I hate the multiverse. I hate the multiverse. I hate the multiverse—"   >Not knowing what to do about her friend's meltdown, Sunset opts to greet the lizard instead. >"Hi, I'm Sunset."   >Awkward silence.   >"I, uh," mutters Sunset before continuing. "Would you mind telling us which system we're in? We kinda lost our way, and—" >She looks around her, looking for Anon and Trixie. >Nothing. >No signs of the green idiot or the Mary-Sue Lulamoon. >"—lost half of the party too, apparently."   >The smaller lizard tilts its head, blinking awkwardly. >"I'm Liz."   >Sunset tries to hang onto her sanity. >"You're... both named Liz?" >The Lizzes nod in unison. >"Well, doesn't that get confusing after a while?" >They shrug.   >"We're all multiversal copies, kid. Lizzes just happen to be more numerous than others, so we have to pack more of us into a multiverse than others. Inconvenient, but you get used to it." >The smaller Liz interrupts. >"We have weekly orgies with ourselves. It's all very wholesome and meaningful. Purest form of love."   >The larger Liz smacks the smaller one in the back of her head. >"Please excuse her," she says. "She's a bit of a sexual deviant. We all are actually, but she just takes the cake somehow."   >Sunset looks at Twilight. >She's twitching and foaming at the mouth, unwilling to put up with the multiverse shenanigans any longer. >"Me too, girl," mutters Sunset. "Me too."     - - - - - -     >About an hour and a visit to the town hall later, Sunset and Twilight are making their way towards the nearest portal booth. >The *only* portal booth in town, in fact. >Twilight despairs a little after learning that they are, in fact, on the opposite end of the town from the portal. >She contemplates curling up into a ball again.   >Sunset stops, not even making it past the first traffic light. >"Twilight, we're gonna die of thirst before making it out of this block." >Her face is covered in sweat and stray strands of amber-yellow hair. >Twilight nods, trying to brush aside her bangs. >"You're right. We need a ride."   >She looks around. >No bus stops. No taxi. >Just a bunch of giant lizards skittering around or driving their near-junks. >They're all armed to the teeth for some reason.   >"I can't believe the cops won't let us inflate the Rainboom here," says Sunset, wiping sand off of her face. "Property damage hazard? We're neck-deep in empty spaces, for Pete's sake." >Twilight walks towards the edge of the sidewalk. >She sticks her fist out. >Sunset plants her rear on the ground, fanning air with her hand. >"Twilight?" >Without a word, Twilight slowly extends her thumb upward. >Then she waits. >And waits some more.   >Sunset sighs. >"Great, now my friend's gone insane with heat—" >A beat-up convertible with three wheels stops in front of Twilight. >It kicks up a cloud of dust and sand, covering Sunset from head to toe. >"Ya'll need a ride somewheres?" >The lizard licks her eyeball.   >"Yes please," says Twi, in relief. "The portal booth, if you would." >"Headin' there myself. Hop on in."   >Twilight opens the passenger side door, then waves her hand at Sunset. >"Earth to Sunset?" >Sunset looks up, coughing. >"Get in loser," says Twilight, smugly. "We're going hitchhiking."   >A shrouded pale-magenta figure watches this exchange from afar, unnoticed by everyone.     - - - - - -     >The lizard drives like a drunk teenager. >"I'm Liz," she squaks. >"Yes," growls Sunset. "We sort of guessed that already." >Liz lets out an incredibly annoying cackle.   >"I'm... Twilight," declares Twilight somewhat nervously. >"I'm Liz, but you knew that already," says the lizard, breathing out of her mouth. >Sunset looks around the seat for something to be used as a garrote, to no avail.   >"So uh, I suppose Joe Biden is really popular with you folks." >Twi points at Liz's torso, who is also wearing a 'Joe Biden' shirt. >Twi's eyes twitch involuntarily. She keeps her calm.   >"Not really," says Liz, stopping her incessant mouthbreathing. "It's just a fetish. Joe Biden shirts make our political opinions look fat." >Liz stares into Twilight's eyes, almost running over a row of pedestrian lizards in the process. >"Lizzes like big opinions. And we cannot lie."   >Sunset spazzes in the backseat in the same way a passenger would in a car that's about to have a collision. >"Eyes on the road you idiot cold-blooded—" >"My vision is perfect," says Liz, turning to face Sunset. "But thanks for your concern!" >The light ahead changes to something other than green. >Liz hums casually, still flooring it.   >Sunset loses her shit. >"OH GOD Red light red light red light RED LIGHT!" >Liz swerves into a sharp left turn on the intersection, powersliding right over a stray rat. >The rat smears the pavement with an undignified pop, disgusting everyone involved.   >"Don't worry," says Liz, speeding through another red light. "All Lizzes are excellent drivers. And I'm the best in town." >She curses loudly as a large pickup, driven by another Liz, almost crashes into her head-on. >"Joe Fucking Biden!" >She flips a bird at the annoyed truck driver. >"(UP YOURS TOO, LIZZIE!)" >Liz lets out a satisfied howl.   >"This town's got the worst drivers," says Liz, looking back at a traumatized Sunset. "Am I right or what?"   >Sunset's chest heaves noticeably, her eyes wide open.     - - - - - -     >A shadowy figure, located dozens of light years away, gently swirls the wine glass in her hand. >Her attention is fixated on the screen in front of her. >Sunset and Twilight, speeding away in a wreckage on wheels. Or whatever passed for vehicles in that godforsaken planet. >With a gloved hand, the shadowy figure picks up a gaudily decorated phone. >"Starlight." >The voice on the other end responds, from dozens of light years away.   >"[Yes, Chairman Glimmer?]" >Starlight Glimmer takes a sip from her wine glass. >"I hope you do realize that their arrival is too early? In fact, far earlier than our most pessimistic estimates."   >The other Starlight pauses, nerves creeping into her voice.   >"[I-I understand, Chairman. But we didn't account for the possibility of instantaneous travel—]" >"QUIET." >The Chairman throws her wine glass at one of many decorative flags on the wall, staining the equal sign in purple.   >"I wanted the troops ready to march. I wanted Star Privileged Banner ready to be raised on top of the ruins of HST as soon as the two Twilights reunite. TIME. SENSITIVE. PLANNING. And you didn't take account for the possibility of WHAT?" >"[I have no excuses, Chairman,]" crawls the shaky voice.   >Chairman Glimmer pours herself a new glass of the same vintage. >"GET IT DONE. Don't screw this up, Starlight Glimmer." >She slams the phone down, breaking pieces of decorative jewelry from the receiver.     - - - - - -     >"So," says Liz. "Where are you girls going? Shopping? Seeing some boys?" >"A little bit of both, I guess," says Sunset. "Well, we gotta find him and our friend first. We got split up on the way here somehow." >"Oooohh," intones Liz. "You girls sharing a dong?" >Sunset's eyes twitch. Twilight hangs her head. >"The boyfriend is mine. For now, anyway." >Sunset gasps.   >"Wait. What do you mean, 'for now?' You aren't planning on breaking up, are you?" >Twilight lets the wind whip her hair around, saying nothing.   >"Twilight—" >Sunset winces as droplets of water hits her face. >Tears.   >Sunset reaches forward, gently placing a hand over Twi's shoulder. >"Twilight, are you—" >Please, Sunset," says Twilight. "Maybe later. I'll tell you everything." >Sunset sighs. >"As you wish, Twi."   >"Yah, you should tell her later," agrees Liz. "Not within my earshot anyway. I just *hate* drama." >They spend the rest of the ride hearing about Liz's ex-boyfriends.   -   >"Well, we're here!" >Sunset is jolted awake. >They've stopped next to an oversized phone booth with antennas sticking out of it. >"It looks like an oversized phone booth with antennas sticking out of it," says Sunset. >"That's what portals look like honey," says Liz.   >Liz tosses her car keys to a random passerby. >Twilight gawks at this apparent waste. >"Aren't you gonna keep your—" >"Nah," says Liz, waving her hand dismissively. "It's a piece of shit."   >The thrifty scientist in Twilight finds that comment unacceptable. >"But it's your car! You can always fix it up and—" >A dull pop sounds from the three-wheeler as it begins leaking something important.   >"Come on," Liz shouts, annoyed. "I don't wanna get caught littering this week. Out!"   >The three of them line up behind a queue of other Lizzes. They're all wearing variants of the 'Joe Biden' shirts. >Liz smacks her lips. >"Mmm mm mm. I could just stare at those opinions all day."   >She licks both of her eyeballs, one at a time.     - - - - - -     >Discontinuity.   >Twilight and Sunset find themselves in a more paved and less sandy part of the planet. >The horizon completely invisible, blocked by massive skyscrapers jutting upward as far as the eyes can see. >Neon signs are dizzyingly reflecting off of the slightly damp streets. >The smell of a recent rainstorm is in the air. >The sidewalks are crowded with people and lizards. Probably a lot less lizards than the town they had just left.   >Twilight stretches her legs. >"Ah, civilization," she smiles. "Back to sanity."   >A pastel-cyan human girl gallops past Twilight, being ridden by a similarly colored pony.   >"—I spoke too soon."   >Sunset rubs her head, stumbling out of the portal. >"Is portal hangover a thing? If it is, I've got it in droves right now."   >Twilight puts an arm around Sunset, giving her shoulder a squeeze. >"Come on, the spaceport is not too far away. Let's find a landing pad to launch the Rainboom off of." >Twilight toys with the golfball-sized lump of a spaceship.   >Sunset looks around, surrounded by waves of people and concrete columns. >A distant engine roar of spaceships echoes from somewhere.   >"That sounds pretty far away. Can't we just risk a ticket and do it here? I don't see any cops—" >She is interrupted by a police drone.   >"[MIND CRIME DETECTED]" >"—FUCK!" >Sunset stumbles backward. >The drone pulls out a frighteningly large pistol with its arm.   >"[IF YOU CONTINUE THIS COURSE OF THOUGHT YOU SHALL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW]" >"Christ, FINE," says Sunset, feeling her rights violated. "I'll just stop thinking, okay?" >The drone stares at Sunset for few seconds before holstering the pistol.   >"[THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION SHIMMIGRANT]" >"Hey!"   >"Come on Sunset," interjects Twilight. "Let's try not to get killed today." >"SHIMMY SANDERS 2016," Sunset shouts angrily. "EAT THE RICH!"     -   >"So." >Sunset tries to break the ice some minutes into their walk towards the spaceport. She appears a lot calmer. >"Hmm?" >"Are you planning on breaking up with Anonymous?"   >Twilight sighs. >"No, but I'm ready to accept if he wants to," says Twilight, her grip around Sunset's hand tightening. >Sunset lowers her voice to a saddened whisper. >"Why? Does he not like you anymore?" >"No, it's not that." >"Then what—" >Twilight stops, turning towards Sunset.   >"Sunset, what do you think will happen when we find Anon's old Twilight? Or, when I find my old Anon?" >"Twilight—" >"Oh, you know. The ones who shaped what we are today, and had stolen our hearts in turn. We meet them. What then?" >Sunset finds herself at a loss for words.   >Twilight shifts her gaze to her side. >"What if... What if it ruins our relationship forever? What if it ruins THEIR relationship forever? Do we even have the right to chase them down, and potentially change THEIR lives forever, too?" >She begins pulling at her lavender hair in frustration. >"How do we even move on from something like this, as a couple? Ditch our current partners? Smile-nod-and-move-on? Pretend like the others don't exist?"   >Twilight begins panicking. >Sunset pulls Twilight into a tight hug, stroking her hair.   >The mad scientist lets it all out.   >"I can't even stop this stupid quest, because I love Anon. I want him to see the girl that made him who he is today. I want him to have the answers to his questions. I *want* him to be happy. I want—" >Twilight lets out a shaky, tearful sigh. >"—I just want him to be with me."   >Sunset gently rocks Twilight back and forth, not giving a damn about the curious onlookers. >Let them stare all they want. They'll never understand.   >"I just don't know what to do, Sunset. What do I DO??" >Sunset gently kisses Twilight's head. >"I don't know either, darling. I really don't."   >The sky begins drizzling unapologetically.     - - - - - -   https://youtu.be/IhUuEUj2zWk   >"Anonymous," says Trixie, peeking in from the corner of Anon's field of view. "Mmm." >"You're looking glum." >Anon looks down into his pint. It's gotten lukewarm. >Trixie waves her fingers in front of Anon, making sure he's still alive. >"Also you've been nursing that thing for about an hour now."   >"Your lady's right," says the bartender. "Fifty minutes, one beer, no tips. You're killing me, son." >Anon takes a deep pull on the watered-down brew. "Just thinking about things. Sorry." >He leaves the empty glass on the bar top. >The barkeep grumbles about emerald cheap-asses.   —   >"OY TRICKSEH" >A roid monster with prosthetic winglets waves at the pale blue wizard. >"Ohh, that's my call." >Trixie trots over at a rather messy group of hulking mercenaries, some with more prosthetics than others. >They're all wielding varying colors of vicious looking darts.   >Trixie grabs a bundle of her own from the board, then readies herself behind the line. It's marked by a faded strip of duct tape. >She raises a dart to her eye level, then closes one of them. >She sticks her tongue out. >Anon wonders if it actually helps her aim better.   >After a tense moment, Trixie chucks the dart with practiced ease. >Much to Anon's surprise, it ignites into a solid beam of laser mid-air. >The flat, downward trajectory ends right on the triple ring of 20. >She then throws two more in rapid succession. >Two more lasers, all scorching the triple-20 mark. No rainbow magic necessary.   >"WOWEE, THAT'S A TON-EIGHTY LADS!" >The group erupts in a celebratory cheer. >Trixie bows graciously.   >Anon shakes his head. "Indoor laser darts. How dangerous."   >"Not as dangerous as you, silly spoon," retorts the sultry voice behind him.   -   >Anon turns on the barstool, almost hitting his face on a pair of gorgeous breasts. >"Hey Nonny," says Minuette, smiling sweetly.   >She's wearing a dress that doesn't really extend past her fingertips. >The neckline of her dress plunges a few inches too low for the occasion. >Or for any occasion for that matter. >Anon sweats a little, feeling his pants tighten.   >Minuette lets out a naughty giggle. >"What, cat got your tongue? Come on, a hello for your old friend won't hurt." >She lands two kisses on Anon's cheeks, both landing a little too close to his mouth. >Anon pulls away. "Uh, hi."   >"I didn't take *you* for a type who'd unwind at The Cantina." "Well, we sort of accidentally ripped a portal to one of the bathroom stalls. Trixie did. I tried not to help."   >Minuette gives Anon a bedroom-eyed smile. >"It's really too bad that you're already taken. Otherwise I'd let you rip *my* portal in that same stall." >Anon cringes.   >Moondancer approaches, holding two drinks. >"Hey Minuette, your martini." >"Hey, hey, thanks babe."   >Moondancer pulls out the cigarette from her lips, and lets Minuette plant a kiss on her. >Their tongues begin to tangle. Minuette's piercing clicks against Moondancer's teeth.   >Anon blushes furiously. "W-what—" >"Oh please," says Moondancer, rolling her eyes. "The 20th century is over in less than a decade. Scissoring ain't sin. So loosen up, grandpa." >Moondancer frowns.   >"Wait a minute, what are you doing here?"   -   "Accidentally ripped a portal to— nevermind. What are YOU two doing here?" >"Just hanging out," says Moondancer, staring at Minuette's breasts.   >"This is where all the cool kids drop by to unwind," says Minuette, plunging Moondancer's face in her bosom. "The HST, MUPPET, PEANUTS, Coalition, mercenaries... even the Savior pukes. People worth knowing about." >"I am in heaven," says Moondancer in a muffled voice.   "So everyone just.... shows up here? Instead of anywhere else?" >"Well, you can't go to Just Any Cantina. That'd be demeaning," says Minuette. "If you're famous—" >"Or infamous," interjects Moondancer, still buried in cleavage. >"—or infamous," agrees Minuette, "then you unwind at The Cantina. With the rest of the cool kids."   "What's wrong with just any cantina?" >"It's not just any cantina," Minuette corrects Anon, finally letting her lover breathe. "It's Just Any Cantina." >"And those are naturals," adds Moondancer. Her hair is ruffled up.   "Just Any Cantina," repeats Anon. >Moondancer and Minuette nod in unison. "Not just any cantina." >Moondancer and Minuette shake their heads in unison.   >Anon tries very hard not to have an aneurysm.   "I really fucking hate the multiverse sometimes."     >"Hey baby," says a hulking figure, laden with cybernetics. He pushes past Minuette and Moondancer. >He's looking squarely at Anonymous. "Uh, hi. Can I help you?" >"I like your arm," he says, pointing at Anon's cyberarm. "T-thanks." >"Wanna arm wrestle at my place? I'll show you a good time." >The cyber-hulk winks, wiggling his eyebrows.   >"Nice," says Minuette, nodding in approval. >Anon covers his brows with his cyberarm, unwilling to put up with this shit anymore. "Bartender, a pint please." >"Sod off, emerald cheapass."   -   >To everyone's surprise, the night remains young. >"Ohh, so that's how you ended up here," says Moondancer, sucking on her cigarette. >Her whiskey glass clinks with ice.   >"So, you had *no* idea where you were," says Minuette, teasing Trixie a little. "Half of your party missing, with no ride off the system, and you just elected to stay here?" >Trixie rubs her neck, her face red.   >"Er, the bus doesn't start running until tomorrow morning. And Anon was sulking rather hard. So, yes." >Anon continues to sulk, staring into his pint of Dude Light.   >Minuette puts her hand on Anon's arm. >"What's wrong, silly spoon?" >She drops her sultry tone entirely. >It's the most genuine thing Anon has ever heard her say.   "I'm scared, I suppose." >All eyes are on Anon.   "I have... mixed feelings about this quest. I'm afraid what it might mean for Twi and I if we—" >"—link up with your old loves," finishes Minuette. "I know that feeling." >Anon nods quietly.     >"And I bet she feels the same way, silly spoon." "Really?" >"Of course," says Minuette. "She's a woman after my own heart." >She stirs her drink with the olive.   >"You'd help her discover her past, even if it meant her leaving you. Right?" >Anon nods. >"And she'd do just the same for you, if not more." >Minuette takes a slow sip. There's a glint in her eye.   >"Do you know why?" >Anon smiles weakly. "I think I know where you're going with this."   >She grabs Anon's hand in a comforting grip, surprisingly free of creepy advances. >"Yeah. It's all because you care for each other, and you both know it. You'll manage to move on from this, just like you have in the past." >Minuette smiles at Anon.   "Thanks Minuette, that means a lot to me." >The Element of Empathy joins in, her hand over Anon's and Minuette's. >She's smiling tearfully.   >"Geez, Minuette," says Moondancer, squirming a little. "Since when did you become such a romantic?" >"I'm just good at hiding it, my little cookie," Minuette giggles. "I'm taking the covers off briefly for a friend."   >Minuette idly runs her thumb over one of the transponder bracelets. >"I owe them that much," she whispers.   -   >Few hours later, after most of the patrons have gone home or back to work, the four of them are standing out in the parking lot of The Cantina. >Minuette lets out a shrill laughter over a nasty innuendo from Minuette. >Trixie snickers. >Anon smiles.   >The clik-clak of Minuette's stripper heels stop as she turns around, facing Anon and Trixie. >"Say, how about I give you two a ride? If the Rainboom is in this sector, we could even send them a message." >Trixie perks up. >"That'd be great! Thanks so much, we'd be stuck here otherwise." >Minuette pinches Trixie's cheeks playfully. >"Anything for you, little sweetie." >Moondancer laughs. >Anon coughs, his face flushed red.   >"Now, where the heck are my keys? I swear I put them in here somewhere—" >Minuette gets busy going through her purse.     >Trixie suddenly grabs Anon's hand. >"Anonymous, I—" "Hmm?" >She looks terrified, her eyes darting everywhere. >"It's happening again." >She hugs Anon's arm tightly.   "Shit. Another portal?" >"I don't know," she whispers.   -   >Trixie reaches to her left and swings her arm backward, as though pulling apart a heavy curtain. >A distinctive smell of sulfur hits Anon's nostrils. >Trixie grasps at the air up high, then makes a fast downward motion, like yanking at a large zipper. >A howling greenish-blue portal opens up in front of Anon's eyes. "Holy fuck."   >Moondancer's cigarette falls out of her mouth. >"You can say that again," says Minuette, not worried about her keys anymore.   "Uhhh," yells Anon, trying to make himself heard over the wind. "Where to this time?" >"I don't know! It's been a mystery every time!"   >Anon nods. Strangely enough, he finds himself willing to risk the jump with her.   "You're feeling it too, aren't you?" >"Feeling what?" "That everything's going to be alright, as long as we jump." >Trixie nods. >Anon gives her a squeeze. "No wonder you couldn't explain it in words. This shit's downright confusing. And insane." >"Actually I did explain it in words, you were just drunk off of cheap beer." "You're ruining my moment, Trix."   >Anon looks over his shoulder at Minuette and Moondancer. "Err, sorry about this. But it looks like we won't need the ride after all."   >Minuette waves a dismissive hand. >"Don't even worry about it. You two have fun now! >She blows a kiss at Anon's direction.   >"Thanks again for looking over my equation, by the way," shouts Moondancer. "No problemohshitfucktoofast Trixie!" >Trixie tugs on Anon's arm rather harshly, entering the portal in one bound. >The portal folds itself up after them, sealing completely.     >Minuette sighs. >"There she goes again, doing her magic thing. I can't believe she's still single." >"I want her," says Moondancer. "Smart. Cute. Empathetic. Why am I even dating you, again?" >"Get in line, my little cookie," says Minuette, giving Moondancer a playful slap in the rear. "I've been eyeing that piece of ass since last year."