Abnormal Norman 20: A Separate Cause
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Be Rarity
Ice Cream Bar with Octavia
 
>Jeez, Octavia's just had one cup of fancy ice cream and now she's drunk as hell.
>Ask the bar guy how much wine they pour in those special deserts.
>"Half glass, she told me she wanted a full glass poured on it."
>She's such a drunk lightweight.
 
>"IT'S ALL MY FAAAUULT!" she says, almost bursting into tears.
 
"Calm down, Octavia. It's not your fault Lyra seemingly fell for Norman."
>"...*sniff* Vinyl's gone, Lyra's gaahn, and now...I'll loooose you toooo" she says, now dramatically crying.
>And I thought I was the queen of whining.
>"AHH mEEn, what'S the beeg deal with Normaan? He's a freaking raacisht foar Faust's sake..."
>Thank god she's not drunk enough for her language to switch to Twilight-tier giberish.
"First off, he's not a racist. He's just unlucky on the first day."
>"Haww did ahh guy like him even ehhnd up with a harem of ladies on the feerst month ahnywaahy?"
>You look back on the old days.
"Well, it all started when Norman entered the school, and for some reason, he was immediately branded a racist by a bunch of students. He was immediately hated by everyone over one sick joke, and because of that, what do outcasts do at a situation like this?"
>"Guhh, masturbate furiously?" she said with a smirk.
"No, they hang out with the other outcasts. Enter Twilight Sparkle. She apparently came from the land of talking horses. No one took her seriously. That's the reason Norman hung out with her, dealing with her gibberish everyday.
>"What if he was just there to dick herr?"
"Nah, when we met her and Norman, we can see the annoyance on his face. A human can only tolerate so much talk on horses before they implode."
>"suuure. How come you girls hung out with...guhh Purplewhatshername."
"She was an adorable stray from the generic girls in the school. Besides, Pinkie and Flutters have already grown accustomed to them before me, Rainbow and Applejack came along."
>"...and then you guys fell in love with him?"
>You blush for a moment, denying it partially.
"W-we didn't fall for him immediately. Truth be told, Twilight sees him more as that 'best neighbor' brother guy than someone for her to start a relationship. She's into Brad more."
>"Go on..."
"THen came Fluttershy. Being shy and all, Norman's the only boy she hung out with, with the exception of Macntosh. Since Norman's being a bro to her, she fell for him."
>"Pinkie?"
"Pinkie likes everyone. She just sees Norman as that close friend that's a guy, though she does flirt with him when her hair's down."
>"Kinky...the Apple girl?
"Norman's patience with Twilight opted him to be the best farming buddy Applejack could ever find. She likes him, but I'm not sure to what extent."
>"Rainbow Dash?"
"She sees potential boyfriend material  within him, seeing as how he's willing to put up with her workouts and pranks all month."
>"aaand youuu?"
>You blush once more.
"Wha..m-me? Well, I've never actually consi-"
>Octavia then puts her finger on your mouth saying 'SHHHHH'.
>She's looking at the TV on the shelf. You too look at it.
 
>Newscaster: AND HERE WE SEE THE BAKING CONVENTION, MESSED UP AFTER AN ATTEMPTED ROBBERY THWARTED BY THE MASKED VIGILANTE KNOWN AS "NOIR-MAN"
 
>"You see that guy? Maan is he hot~"
"Uhh..."
>"I mean look at him. Hidden identity, great ass, nice muscles, sexy muffled voice. I bet he has some bruises under there."
"Octavia, I didn't know you were into BDSM."
>"What!?"
"Come on, you have a thing for masks and bruises."
>"I do not!"
>She then proceeds to drink her full cup of that special ice cream.
"Heh, bottom's up I suppose."
>And then you proceed to drink up your remaining ice cream soda.
>"UGH, THIS IS THE BESHHHT! Saay, care to accompany meh to the Canterlot General Hosshhpital? I prommished muhself I'd visit Vinyl as much ash posshible..."
"Ehh, sure. Why not."
 
Be Pinkie Pie
Unknown Black Van, legs tied up
>I can't believe I'm being kidnapped! Gummy would have loved to tag along!
>Alone in the back part of the van, you lean towards the driver.
"Hey, fellas? You mind telling me where we're going?"
>"QUIET, PRISONER."
>Sheesh, what a rock. Tom would have loved to hang out with him.
>This is so boring. You don't even know why you're being kidnapped.
>No point asking them anything, though.
>Plus my butt's getting real stiff now.
>...
>Oh, silly me, I'm sitting on something.
>You grab the thing that's annoying your butt for the past few minutes, revealing a shining silver necklace.
"Oooooooh"
>So shiny, so pretty, so...so 80's!
>You decide to wear it on out of sheer boredom.
>...
>Meh, bored again.
"Hey guys, this is really boring. You think we can play a game?"
>"PRISONER, FOR THE LAST TI-"
"OOh, OOH, I know! Let's play Eye-Spy! I spy with my little eye..."
>"I SPY A LITTLE GIRL ABOUT TO GET KNOCKED IN THE HEAD IF SHE DOESN'T SHUT UP!"
"Hmph. Sore loser without even trying? I know! Let's just sing a song! That cheers everyone up. OOOOH WHEN I WAS RIDING WITH MY GRANDMA AND..."
>"OH JUST MAKE HER STOP."
>"WE CAN'T. NO ONE'S AT THE BACK."
>"GRRAAAAAAAAAH"
 
Be Norman
City rooftops, chasing the van holding Pinkie Pie
 
>Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!
>Pinkie's being kidnapped, and now we gotta follow this goddamn van.
>I just hope Lyra's catching u...wait where is she?
>*BONK*
>She's ahead of you and she bumped her head on a pole.
"Lyra, are you-"
>"I'm FINE, don't lose track of that van!"
>You nod your head and proceed to chase the van on your feet.
>Jeez, why is there no traffic?
>Guy makes a turn through the right.
>He then slowly parks his car by a warehouse.
>Lyra finally cought up, nose bleeding heavily.
"You should really get your nose checked at."
>"I'm FINE, now WHERE ARE THEY?"
>You point at the van from the rooftops. Two men grab Pinkie Pie from the back door, much to her struggle and displeasure.
>"Alright, here's the plan, you walk in there, announce yourself, then proceed to kill everyone on sight!"
"Lyra...I'm not killing a bunch of dudes in cold blood. They're barely armed!"
>The kidnappers finally got Pinkie Pie inside.
>"Great, we lost them."
"Chill, Lyra. They're just inside the warehouse."
>"Yeah? And what if inside that warehouse is a MAZE, o-or a DEATHTRAP?"
"Calm down. It's very unlikely that the warehouse is a deathtrap. Look at how small it is."
>"Screw this, I'm going through the timestream."
"What?"
>With that, Lyra vanished, but only for a moment, before reappearing with her nose spurting blood, along with her mouth and eyes.
"WHOA, FAUST, LYRA!?"
>"AHH, DAMN ME."
>Lyra then proceeds to wipe the blood off her face.
"What the hell happenned?"
>"I...CAN'T...GAHH."
>Lyra then falls on her knees.
>You proceed to give her a handkerchief.
>SHe then wipes her blood off with it, and wears it over her mouth and nose as some sort of bandana.
 
"Lyra, tell me what's going on with you."
>"My...powers. They're killing me whenever I use them."
"Then STOP using them."
>"You think I care? If my powers could get us to the necklace faster, we'd all be at home, holed up, drinking a cup of tea and waiting for the whole night to blow over."
"Lyra, I think you should stay here. I'll handle this."
>"What, and let you steal it from me again? Fat chance."
>SHe then jumps off the building to land in a conveniently placed dumpster.
>So this is why we can't have Assassins Creed in present time...
>You then follow too after she got off the dumpster. You and Lyra proceed to walk straight to the door.
"Alright, when we talk to each other there, we use our aliases, got it?"
>"Whatever.
"SO we're settled. I call you Chronos, you call me Noir-Man."
>"Why did you even choose the name "Noir-Man"? You're not even wearing black."
"Long story short, it was all your fault."*
>[spoiler]As seen in Issue #16. -Dan[/spoiler]
>"Whatever Norman."
 
Be Pinkie Pie
Warehouse, tied to a chair
 
"Can anyone please just tell me how much longer I have to be here. I have an alligator to feed!"
>"You're here so long as the boss says you're here."
"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!"
>"Look kid, the boss will be here soon. He's probably stuck in traffic.
"What would a guy like your boss would want from little old me? IF HE WANTS MY SECRET CUPCAKE RECIPE, HE'S GONNA HAVE TO PRY THEM FROM MY COLD DEAD BODY."
>"Kid, we're sure he doesn't want your cupcake recipe, nor is he interested in anything that concerns your interests."
"Then why am I here?"
>"Boss gave us these detector thingies to know who our target would be. Frankly we were confused which one of the three girls was the actual target, but since that superhero came in, we settled with what we could kidnap at such short time."
>One of the thugs then pointed his detector at Pinkie, which confirmed that she has an 88% foreign contamination, to which none of the thugs really knows about."
>"So long as the number's high, we got the right kid."
>"Yo, Imma call the boss. MAking GOod's series finale's about to start in 3 hours and I'm not gonna stick around to guard some teenager."
"sigh"
 
Be Rarity
Canterlot Hospital with Octavia
>Thank goodness she sobered up before we even entered the hospital.
>"Hey, Rarity, thanks for taking me here. I really appreciate it."
"It's no problem."
>You and Octavia both enter Vinyl's room, half-surprised to see 4 visitors.
>You see Vinyl's mother and brother, whom Octavia contacted to let them know the news, Amy and one other guy you don't recognize.
>"Mrs. Scratch. H-has the doctor said anything?"
>Vinyl's mother had just recently wept, based on the redness of her eyes.
>Vinyl's brother went in to speak on his mother's behalf.
>Octavia then proceeded to hug the family members. You just watch from the distance.
>She then comes back to you.
"Well? How is she?"
>"No signs of change."
"I'm sure she'll recover." You say to comfort her.
>She just nods to you.
"Say, who's that guy near Amy?"
>"Oh, him? That's Nolan North, a senior, and one of Vinyl's oldest and closest friends. Amy's relationship with Vinyl is...complicated, in regards to Nolan, but they have known each other for some time."
>Nolan North looked like one of those cool students, with their laidback personality and their alpha bloodline.
>Right now, he looks at Vinyl with a sad, extreme gaze.
>Vinyl's accident must have hit him as hard as it hit Vinyl's mother.
>I wonder if those two-
*RING*
>His phone rings. He checks to see who it is.
>"Excuse me ladies, I have to take this."
>He then proceeds to walk towards the door.
>With his Alpha-genes, the door opens and explodes in close proximity to him as he talks on his phone.
>Wow.
 
Be Norman
Outside the Warehouse
"Ly, check the window over there."
>She checks, telling you what she sees.
>"I see Pinkie Pie and 3 large dudes."
"Only three?"
>For a staged kidnapping, they sure are limited in numbers.
>"Let's see, one guy's talking on the phone, the other is kneeling on his knees, begging for Pinkie to stop singing while the other guy is trying in vain to find a duct tape."
>So the kidnappers are pretty ill-prepared for Pinkie Pie. Typical.
"Alright, I'm kicking through the door. You ready?"
>"Meh."
>With a swift charge, you kick the door, detatching it from its place and hitting the guy on the phone.
>The other goons reach for their crowbars but Lyra had already incapacitated them by strangling one with her bow while kicking the other in the groin.
>"OH. MY. GOSH! NOIRMAN AND DISCOUNT GREEN ARROW IS HERE!"
>"My name is CHRONOS!"
"I thought you never cared for this?"
>"SHUT UP!"
>"HEY! When this is over, can I have both your autographs? I m-mean for Gummy, not for me, eheh..."
 
>Suddenly, by the door, 12 more guys show up.
>"Hey man, sorry we're late. Bob here wanted to stop by at Burrito Bell and...HEY!"
"Ah nuts. Chro, little help?"
>Lyra ignores you and proceeds to take the necklace off of Pinkie.
>"Well, got what I came here for. Have fun, hero!"
>She then escapes through the window.
>Goddammit Lyra.
>If I had a dollar for every time I told her that in my thoughts...
>"Your friend sure is weird!" said Pinkie Pie
>"GET HIM!" yelled one of the thugs
>You then dodge through every attack they make, beating three of them in hand to foot combat.
"Come on! Is that the best you guys got?"
>"Punk, we haven't even brought it out yet."
>He then proceeds to bring out an SMG.
>Welp, time to go!
*RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA*
>You move out of the way, farther from Pinkie so she doesn't get accidentally shot.
>Once he ran out of ammo, the guys then rushes towards you.
>You took this as an opportunity to get Pinkie and yourself out of here!
>You jump over the guys and flipped all the way to Pinkie's location.
>No time to untie Pinkie, time to bring her and her chair.
>"WHOAA!"
>You throw Pinkie out through the window Lyra escaped from and followed after.
>"HEY, AFTER THEM!"
"Time to go!"
>You carry Pinkie tied to a chair, looking really awkward while running.
>"WOW, so this is what being the queen feels like! WHEEEEE!"
"YEAAOOW!"
>Your buns of steel caught a bullet. It's hot as hell.
>You decide to charge up your legs, trying in vain to avoid more gunfire.
>You charge-jumped after a few seconds, reaching the heights of low buildings.
>"WHEEEEEEEEEE"
>Ahh, at least Pinkie's enjoying herself.
>Guess it's a day in the life of a trying vigilante.
 
Be Kidnapper Goon
>AWW. WE LOST 'EM.
>"Shit. The boss will be pissed at us."
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear..."
>A lone limo parks by the warehouse.
>Out comes the boss.
>We're dead...
 
>The boss comes out, hair laid back, one hand in pocket.
>He goes to check the warehouse from the outside, looking through the broken window.
>Silence amongst your colleagues.
>He then turns his attention to us.
>He takes of his shades, nods down and shakes his head in disappointment.
>And proceeds to say one sentence, one that sends a shiver to all of us.
 
>"You're all a disappointment to the Saints Bro."
 
End of Chapter 20