>You make your way to the counter, and hold your beer high.
>And lo comes your first mare of the night.
>She takes her seat right next to you, chatting with her sister.
>You know her name.
>Pegasus, sea green mane.
>And that bow.
>Flitter, sister to Cloud Chaser.
>You slide next to her, leaning slightly.
“Babe, do you have a map?”
>She shrinks, and turns her head to you.
>”W-what? Why?”
“Because I’m lost in your eyes.”
>”AWWWWWWWWW”
>Thunder yells out across the bar.
 
>You go to her again, and she looks annoyed by your presence.
“Hey, did it hurt?”
>”What? Stop-“
“When you fell from heaven?”
>”But I got wings!”
>Thunder: ”AWWWWWWWWWW”
>Thunder and Lighting, baby.
 
>Your approach is now watched by the entire bar.
>You don’t give a shit.
“Hey, are you a thief by some chance?”
>”Get away from me!”
“Because you stole my heart.”
>Thunder: “AWWWWWWWWW”
>Damn, you’re smooth.
 
>You sneak onto the couch, and land with a plop.
>”SECURITY!”
“Babe, I put the STD in STUD.”
>She looks to you with worry.
“All I need is U.”
>Thunder: “AWWWWWWWWWW”
 
>You push through the guards, and land behind her.
“Babe, are your legs tired?”
>”I fly.”
“Because you’ve been running in my mind all day, uh-HUH!”
>Thunder: “AWWWWWWWW”
>You’re on a roll tonight.
 
>Your camouflage as a wall worked.
>You’re on her again.
“Hey, are you dad an alien?”
>”What?”
“Because you’re out of this world.”
>”Look, human. I-“
“How about a terrorist?”
>”NO!”
“Because you’re the bomb!”
>Thunder: “DOUBLE AWWWWWWWW”
 
>You bow your head low, and approach her again.
>She looks disgusted, and slowly backs away.
“Hey.”
>”Stay away from me.”
“I’m sorry.”
>”What?”
>The entire bar gasps.
“Yeah, I’m sorry for poking fun.”
>…
”Thunder is too.”
>Her expression softens.
>”It’s alright, Anon, it was kinda sweet.”
>You smile, and rub the back of your head.
>Another gasp.
“Anyway, I should go. Also, Flitter-“
>”Yes?”
“That’s a pretty bow.”
>”Oh, thank you.”
“How would you like it seeing it crumpled on my floor?”
>Thunder: “AWWWWWWWW”
>And that is kids, how I met your mother.
 
>It is that night again.
>You take your drinks, and look around.
>And there she is.
"Hey babe, how about you be my Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King?"
>"What?"
"You treat me right, and I'll do it your way."
>Thunder: "AWWWWWWWWWW"
 
>Dance floor.
>You moon walk your way to the target, still un-caught.
"Hey."
>She jumps at your voice.
"If I could re-arrange the alphabet together-"
>"You'll put 'U' and 'I' together?"
"I'll put 'U' between 'F' and 'C','K'
>Thunder: "AWWWWWWW"
 
>"Stop following me!"
"You're right, I should stop bothering you."
>"I'm not falling for that."
"Really, I'm just playing around."
>Her expression softens a little.
>"R-Really?"
"Yeah, and like I said; I like your bow, it looks great on you."
>"I know! I wanted-"
"You know what else will look good on you?"
>...
"Me."
>Thunder: "AWWWWWWWW"
 
>You fight through the guards, only to run into her again.
"Well hello there."
>"GUARDS!"
"I just have to ask, are you from Tenessee?"
>"Where? GUARDS!"
"Because you're the only Ten-I-see."
>Thunder: "AWWWWWWW"
>Thunder was charged for 'assisting rape'.
 
>Lonely jailcell.
>A solitary harmonica plays in the background, while the prisoners nod away to sleep.
>Hell, even the guards are doing it.
>"So, how did you get here?"
>An elderly stallion sits next to you.
"Went for a girl."
>"Ohhh."
"Should have known she was jailbait, she called the guards on me."
>The stallion lets off a creepy smile.
>"I see what you did there."
>Looks like you met your new jail buddy.
 
>Today you're free.
>Also, it is the annual Ponyville picnic day.
>You take a short stroll, taking note of your target.
>THERE SHE IS
>You run in, and slap her with bacon.
"BABY YOU'RE SO HOT I CAN COOK BACON ON YOU!"
>And today was the day you went to jail for the second time.
 
>Today was your hearing.
>You stand in the court, facing the accuser, Flitter.
>"Is there anything to say from the Defendant?"
>You had to defend yourself.
>After you hit on the town lawyer, you had no dice.
>Did you mention the fact that there was only one lawyer?
>She was with Flitter.
>More the reason to kill you.
"Yes."
>You point at Flitter.
"SHE IS THE EVIL ONE HERE!"
>The gasps erupts from everywhere.
"It must be crime to be that hot."
>Thunder: "AWWWWWWWWW"
>Thanks for being a 'bro', Thunder.