Alright, so. This is a Request from a good friend named Picklehead, if you're from the thread, you know who I'm talking about.
This is a little non-canon side story for Stoner In Equestria.
The title says it all just about.
Ignore those dreaded typos.
Doesn't matter, posted story.
 
===
"I don't even look chinese," you say to yourself in the mirror while in the bathroom.
>Fucking hell, trying out another strand of Twilight's is really messing with your brain.
>Your eyes are the "high red" color, you reek of dank and of course, high beyond imagination.
>"Dang gum it Anon! Come on out!" Applejack shouts while knocking on your bathroom door.
>Today, was a bit of a surprise for you.
>Applejack decided to stop by for today, alone.
>For the past two hours, it's been you and her smoking away marijuana like it's going out of style.
>But, there's more to it. She made a bong, thanks to some materials and skills and for you and her to try it.
>You still have yet to name the bong, but it will happen in due time.
>"Look here pretty boy, don't make me come in there and drag ya high ass out of there!"
"Calm the fuck down Apps."
>You shuffle your way back to the door and get out.
>You were met with Applejack's high eyes, she seem flustered.
>"Well about time!"
>You try to control your snicker but didn't prevail, and now you two are headed back to the living room.
>Before your eyes, you were already back on the couch, staring at Applejack's bong.
>It looked lumpy to begin with, green paint and an shitty drawn apple at the bottom.
>You're not going to question how she was able to make the bowl.
>With a grin on your face, you turn to Applejack who's sitting right next to you.
"Applejack,  lemme wear your hat."
>She dismisses your statement with a chuckle and gently shoves you.
>"Nooo, it's my hat, you can't have it."
"Oh c'mon, just for a little while."
>"Noooo, ya vermit!"
>You cackled wildly, you have no idea why the shit she says is so damn funny.
>Maybe it's the accent.
>You're actually having a little bit of trouble breathing, you had to clutch your chest.
>Finally, after your fit of laughter, you place a hand on Applejack's shoulder.
"Apps, you're alright, but Apps, one question."
>"Whatcha wanna know pretty boy?"
 
 
"Are ya hiiiigh?"
>She nearly died from chuckles, squeezing her eyes while tears leak and her leaning away.
>"Pff noooo, Ah ain't no high."
"What the fuck? That's not even fucking proper english, you mother fuck."
>"Yeah? Well, Ah'd mother fuck you if your were a mother."
"What? I don't... what?"
>"Ah unno, maybe it's the plant talkin'. But Anon, Ah got a question for ya, actually, a few if ya don't mind."
"Go for it man."
>"You smoke a lot of weed, right?"
"Everyday just about, next question."
>"Is it possible to get high off your cum?"
>What
"What... the serious... fuck. How should I know? I don't eat my own cum, that's gross. The one thing a man should never know the taste of is his own cum."
>"Ah didn't say anything about eating it."
"Then what? And why does it have to be MY cum? What brought this on?"
>"Ah was wondering... you smoke a lot."
"Like a broken stove, yeah."
>"And Ah always wondered, can somep0ny get high off of it, that's all."
"Okay? Next question?"
>"Can I smoke it?"
>You study Applejack's face for a moment to see if she's serious.
>No signs of deception, no smile threatening to crack. She's serious as a funeral.
"Applejack, you're fuckin' weird."
>She shrugs it off.
>"Ya gonna answer my question?"
>You look up at the ceiling with closed eyes and shaking your head.
"Christ, these high ass pones."
>Hands reach for your pants and undo your belt buckle.
>Applejack, gets on the floor, quick to get her head in your lap and take care of the rest.
>You pull your  boxers and pants down to your knees.
>Applejack's hot breath falls onto your flaccid member.
>"Anon I didn't know you were so-"
"Blessed, I know."
>"Hey, suga'."
>When your eyes shift down to hers, you find her enticing emerald eyes locking onto yours.
"Unf, those eyes."
>"Pardon?"
"You have the most beautiful eyes, I've ever seen, I swear."
>"Whoa nelly, don't go fallin' in love now, pretty boy."
>Using her eyes alone made your lance hard as diamonds.
 
 
>Her slick tongue lifts the underside of your cock, saliva coating it over time.
>Applejack's rough hooves massage your inner thighs.
>Even for rough hooves, everything she's doing at the moment is perfect for you.
>Finally, her mouth descends down over your erection, her lips wrapping tight around you.
>A smirk grows on your face as Applejack  gives you a good suck.
>Her head now bobbing up and down, her mane bouncing a a little.
>What makes it better, is that being high while feeling this pleasure is amplified.
>Your eyes roll, you had no idea that Applejack was so good at this.
>Looking down at her again got you closer to getting off.
>The color of those half lidded eyes, the inner thigh massage from her hooves.
>The wet sounds as she slurps her way to her prize.
>By instinct, you thrust into her mouth, only to have pull off immediately followed by her hooves coming to a halt in massaging you.
>She flashes a glare at you, her saliva drizzles over your junk.
"D-damn it, stop teasing."
>"Stop rushin' it, pretty boy. Okay?"
"Fine."
>She drags the tip of her tongue across your tip.
>She perks up her lips and gives it a gentle kiss.
>Her hooves got busy rubbing at the base of you boner, her mouth coming down once again, sucking you off.
>A thought pops into your head and you chuckle to yourself.
>You reach for her hat and grab it, pulling it off her head.
>Her mane flow down gracefully to her shoulders.
>Damn, Applejack if fucking beautiful.
>Those mesmerizing eyes.
>That long mane.
>"Mmmm~"
>Before long, you found yourself getting close to cumming.
>Your legs were tensing up, your mind turning into a mess of blind lust.
>Instantly Applejack's mouth came off your cock before you blow your load.
>A plastic cup nearby, she grabs it and leans back, using her hooves carefully.
 
>Damn, you were looking forward to flooding Applejack's mouth with your seed.
>Instead, it all spurts into a cup, the whole time, Applejack watches in amusement while you lean back, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
>She gives you tip a gentle peck as if to apologize.
>"Don't worry, next time Ah won't be so cruel."
"You're still a tease."
>"Now for the main event!" She shouts with excitement.
>She sits back on the couch performing her little experiment.
>Pinching one end of the open of the cup, she tilts it over the bowl for her bong.
>Slowly the cum accumulates in it as Applejack gets really giddy.
>Pulling out a lighter from God knows where, she lits it as her lips come in contact with the bong.
>The cum bubbles from the heat and Applejack inhales, taking the hit like a champ.
>A few seconds Applejack stops, leaning back on the couch, holding in the smoke as long as possible.
>Then she exhales, letting the smoke cloud the room.
>She turns to you with a smile on her face.
>"This hur is some legit shit."
"What?"
>"Yeah, Ah'm feelin' already. Whoaaa, Ah should smoke your cum more often."
>You're not quite sure what to make of this, other than it's awesome knowing that ponies could literally get high smoking your cum.
>But there's still on order of business that needs to be dealt with.
"Hey, Applejack, what do you want to call your lumpy bong?"
>"Well, Ah did make it for the purpose of smoking your cum, you get head and Ah get high, we both get pleasure out of it, right?"
"Good point."
>"So... let's call it..."
>Her word hang in the air while she taps her chin thoughtful with her thinking face on.
>Eyes now going wide as if she had an idea. If she could snap somehow, she would.
>"Let's call it... Witzpleasure."
"I like it, fund it."
 
 
>You look at JC and Cool Shades Guy, pointing at the lumpy bong on the table in your apartment.
"And yeah man, that's how Witzpleasure got it's name."
>JC's eyes are wide as fuck.
>"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Applejack MADE that bong?! How much do you want for it?"
"Ain't for sale man."
>"Fuck. Anon, you have all the fun. Fuck you. Why can't I ever be in Equestria?"
>Cool Shades Guy pulls down his shades to study both of your faces better.
>"Dude, it's easy, do some DMT, Astral Project, go to an Equestria of your choosing and have fun. It's not that hard really."
>JC looks at Cool Shades Guy for a moment.
>"It's Four fucking Thirty in the morning, where in the hell are we going to find DMT in this shit town?"
>"Dunno, but I'm just sayin'."
>God you have weird friends.