Sooo....
I kinda did a thing, and I'm scared.
I was half awake when I wrote this.
Annnd yeah, it's weird.
Don't judge me.
 
 
>Day sammich rape in Equestria.
>You're on the prowl.
>The hunt!
>...for a sammich.
>You've been craving a sammich for days.
>And Fluttershy has what you're looking for.
>You're actually on your way to Fluttershy's cottage.
>You usually never visit, but this is sammiches we're talking about here.
>You knock on the door groaning and hating yourself for doing this.
"Sammiches...you're here for-"
>Fluttershy opens the door with a smile on her face, "GOOOD Morning my love! I was just about to visit you."
>You cut a glare to the side.
"Big surprise there."
>You say under your breath.
>"Since you're here, umm...would pegging by any chance be your fetish?" she asked with hope laced in her tone as her wings flutter.
>You give her a "seriously?" look for a moment.
"Flutters, you tried that last week, it wasn't my fetish then and it's not now."
>"Awwww, you should try it sweetie, its pretty fun."
"...no okay?"
 
>"Ooooh come on! Let a mare take charge every once in a while. No worries, I'll be gentle the first few times."
>You pinch the bridge on your nose, is she even listening to you?
"It's not my fetish okay? We're getting off topic."
>"Ah yes! What brings you here, love?"
"You said you have ingredients for a sammich?"
>"Ah right! I know you  humans need meat in your diet. It wasn't easy, but I had to kill a pig or two."
"r-really?"
>"Mhm, anything for you! Why, I'll slaughter the world if I have to!"
>...
"Please, don't."
>"As you wish," she said with the most deranged smile since...ever.
>She steps aside and gestures you to come into her home.
>Without hesitation, you walk inside worrying about the mental health of this shy little yellow timid pony.
"Crazy bitch."
>You said under your breath.
>"Have a seat at the kitchen table okay? I'll be with you shortly."
"Yeah, yeah."
>Before you walk away, Fluttershy gently grabs your hand tugging it a bit to get your attention.
>"Remember cutie; come to me if you ever need meat in your stomach...or in between your buns."
>She giggles adorably, "Oh and if you like it rough, maybe both."
>...Oh God she's gonna buttrape you if you're not careful.
>You cringe a bit just thinking about it.
>Damn Fluttershy, you scary.
 
>In a blur, you make it to the kitchen table and have a seat.
>You notice Twilight is sitting across from you.
>"Oh hello Anon, how are you doing this morning?"
"I'm doing okay, what are you doing here?"
>"Here to observe your eating habit of course."
"For science right?"
>She frantically shakes her head yes.
>She'll do anything for "science".
>...crazy bitch.
>And that's all you have to say about her on the matter.
>Fluttershy flies over with a plate of sammiches.
>White toasted bread, stuffed with shredded Peppa jak cheese, delightful honey ham.
>You actually take note of the other sammiches that are on the plate.
>There are all sorts of different assortment of brilliant uses of combination of meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, the works.
>Your mouth is watering just thinking about it.
>Your inner fat kid is demanding satisfaction...as well as taking out any tomatoes that you see.
>You notice there is a thick sammich at the bottom of the pile of cleverly crafted sammiches.
>Without realizing it, your rub your hands together as a drop of drool seeps from the corner of your mouth.
"Ooooh momma."
>"Yes sweetie?"
"Not you Flutters, the sammich."
>"Oh..."
 
>You reach for the sammich, being careful not to cause any others to fall or collapse.
>Twilight and Fluttershy both scoot up their chairs in sync watching you closely.
>Damn mares, they really need to get a life.
>"Told ya he go for that one first, Twilight."
>You can't focus on devouring this sammich with those two watching you like a good tv show that has you on the edge of your seat.
>As your mouth gets closer to it, a speckle of black pepper that's on the edge of the toasted bread floats to your nose somehow.
>You suddenly sneeze without warning.
>Twilight startles then screams in panic falling back in her chair.
>A blast of magic from her horn jolts out of her, ricocheting off a picture frame of a kiss you and Fluttershy never had.
>The magic blast bounces around for a bit then finally lands on your sammich, enchanting it.
>The sammich begins to grow hands and feet growing heavier in your hands.
"W-..what the fuck?"
>You feel it grow breasts and a nicely shaped butt plops out.
>You drop the sammich for a moment and it lands on the table
>It stands on its own two feet, growing a face in the process.
"What is even happening?!"
 
>You notice her face looks a lot like Fluttershy's only it's toasted bread.
>"Hello there handsome."
>did...did the sammich just talk to you?
>Twilight gets back up on her chair and gasps in shock.
>"AAAAAAAAAH!"
>She faints and falls out of her chair again, hitting the floor with a thud.
>The sammich gives you a sultry look, putting a menacing smirk on its face.
>"So, Anon...is pegging your fetish?" it asked.
>Oh God, it took after Fluttershy.
>You notice the salami in the sammich begins to form a meat rod...literally.
>"Ready to eat my meat?"
>Fuck that, you're getting out of here.
>You get out of your chair and do a quick NOPE 180 toward the front door.
>"Don't you ignore me mister!"
>"That's my ummm...sandwich? Yeah, go get em' girl!" Fluttershy shouted.
>You bolt for the door, no way in hell you're letting a rapey sammich anywhere near you!
>You reach the door with haste and fling it open then go into a full blown sprint.
>Fuck where are you going to go?!
>You turn your back for a minute and see Futasammich standing on top of Fluttershy flying toward you swiftly.
>Rape just went full retard.
 
>You find yourself running all over town doing your best to keep a good distance.
>However, they are hot on your heels.
>The majority of ponies that saw you running would make a double take at your situation.
>You run pass Berry Punch.
>Her face showing complete confusion as she witnessed what was taking place.
>"Ooookay, time to lay off the booze," she said before taking a swig from a bottle of hard liquor.
>She gasps as she tosses the bottle over her shoulder then continues to stagger sluggishly to her destination.
>A few tears were shed from her eyes, "It's...not fair..."she collapses on the ground sobbing out of control.
>You continue running at the speed of Kenyans through the marketplace.
>"You can't run forever my love!" they said in unison as the gain on you.
"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fucking fuck fuck fuck!"
>You have to keep running, there is no other option.
>Before long, you notice Pinkie Pie bouncing right beside you.
>"Hi Anon! You seem to be having fun! What cha playing?!"
"It's called keeping my black cherry, now either help me or get outta of the way!"
>"WELL, aren't we being mister grumpy face today?"
"Uuuugh!"
>"Pull my ear!"
>...huh?
"What?"
>"Do it you wimp! It'll help you!"
>Without thinking twice about it, your reach over and pull Pinkie's left ear.
>Suddenly, you're at a lake in a beach relaxing chair next to Dash.
>You're in black and grey sports shirts with your shirt off getting a tan.
>You're wearing your cool shades you swore you lost in your senior year of highschool.
>They even have the little crack at the corner.
 
>"Sup brah?" Dash said, raising a coconut glass wearing shades of her own.
>...Pinkie...you cheat.
>Not that you're complaining.
>You notice Pinkie Pie on the diving board getting ready to make a dive.
>"Holy Diiivah!" she shouted as she jumped.
>She splashes into the water giggling out of control.
>She pops her head up out of the water then swims idly in place.
>She summons her pool bed the climbs on and relaxes, sighing deeply.
>"Anon, isn't it good to just get away from it all?"
"Agreed."
>She smiles at you, "always happy to help ya!"
"Say Pinkie."
>"Yeeees?"
"How did you do that?"
>"Pfff hahahaha, silly Anon, I do it because I can."
>...what exactly IS Pinkie Pie?
>You'll never solve her mystery.
 
>About a half an hour goes by of relaxing and drinking whatever comes to Pinkies mind.
>Just you, your bro and your virginity savior.
>You really should relax here more often.
>The sun is shining, birds chirping a soothing tune in brilliant harmony.
>You thank Celestia for another day of her lovely sun.
>And...
>Wait...
>Birds chirping a soothing tune in brilliant harmony?!
>Oh fuck, Fluttershy must be around, no group of birds can chirp THAT good with musical genius.
>Suddenly you hear, "Tick tock goes the clock until momma gets her hot monkey dock."
>....FUCK.
>"I see him! Let's go!"
>You turn to the direction of the noise and see Fluttershy and her sammich counterpart...
>Sammich counterpart...is that right?
>Whatever.
>You scream like a little bitch and jump out of your chair as they charge toward you.
"Pinkie make some room!"
>She summons another pool bed next to her and gently pats you a spot.
>"Let us love you Anon!" They said in unison as they gradually gain ground.
>"Jump you fool!"
>Pinkie doesn't have to tell you twice.
>As you jump into the pool, the Futasammich was inches away from your feet.
>You splash into the water as well as the sammich.
>It slowly dissolves as it desperately attempts to make it to dry land.
>It flails it's arms in the air, gurgling water in the process.
>"Noooo! My beautiful sammich!" Fluttershy shouted as she reached the edge of the lake.
>The sammich finally gives up, it's arms becomes lifeless as they dissolve away...
>You look at the crazed sammich for a moment.
>It in return looks at you with a smile, "I...love...you...."
>It submerges under the water never to be seen or heard from again.
 
*Later that day, well into the night.*
 
>The sun has set hours ago.
>It's about ten in the evening
>You just got out of your bathroom after brushing your teeth.
>You've got your comfy daring doo PJ's on ready for bed.
>You stagger your way into bed and turn off the light.
>Today was a crazy day, but it could have been worse.
>You're just glad you never have to worry about that crazed sammich again.
>Today for the most part was just weird.
>One thing is for sure, you're never eating a sammich around Twilight.
>You hear your bedroom door creep open.
>For a moment you panic, but then realize, it's only Fluttershy.
>"Anon? You know the evening routine. Give momma a goodnight kiss."
"And you know what I always say, fuck off."
>"One of these days mister!"
"Yeah yeah, you're undying love is not to be trifled with. I get it, now please leave, and lock the door on your way out please."
>"Of course, goodnight sweetie."
"Just leave already."
>She leaves the room and turns around then slowly creep the door close.
>Just before closing it, she whispers, "I love you, Anon."
>You drift off into a peaceful sleep doing your best to forget the weird shenanigans that took place today.
 
*Meanwhile at the lake from earlier*
 
>A storm was brewing.
>Brutal winds whip the tree leaves off their branches under Luna's moonlight.
>Rain hitting relentlessly hitting the dirt making their mark.
>Lightning strikes dead center of the lake.
>A wolf howls as thunder clashes in the air causing a flock crows to fly away in panic.
>At last, a mysterious figure emerges from the lake, stumbling onto the the wet land.
>Getting mud and grass mixed along with the soggy bread.
>It takes a moment to catch its breath.
>"You will...be mine..." it said in between its heavy breathing patterns.
>Finally as it is on its knees, it looks up to the merciless rain.
>Laughing menacingly as a slice of tomato falls out of its side.
>"HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"
>It stands on its feet, wiping away the dead leaf on its face.
>A twig makes a loud snap under its as it sluggishly walks onto the mud that clings to its feet.
>"Sleep well Anon..."
>Lightning strikes just behind the unknown deity.
>Its eyes expand in twisted, convoluted excitement.
>"Because at dawn, we rape."
 
To be continued?
Nah, probably not.
 
I really shouldn't be writing when I'm sleepy.