>Be breakfast time in Equestria.
>Gather the tasty ingredients.
>Canned hash with ham cubes from the griffon grocery store.
>Some toast, eggs, and hay bacon strips on the side.
>Be watching Rarity's cat while she's out of town.
>Opal watches your work with interest, toss her a ham cube. Practically inhales it and looks to you for more.
>Get the skillets hot, toss the hash in. Goddamn that smells awesome. Start the toast.
>Get you're cooking on. Hash done, set skillet on counter edge.
>Toss the hay bacon and eggs in the other skillet.
>Opal starts to figure eight through your legs begging for more ham.
>You toss her another bit of ham and go back to cooking.
>Eggs and gay bacon done, turn to get plates from the cabinet.
>Opal resumes figure eight attack on you legs, tripping you.
>Windmill arms violently, hit hash skillet handle.
>Hash catapult is super effective. Hash, hash everywhere. Oh god it's even on the ceiling.
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Opal bolts.
>Fluttershy, now awake, trots in from your bedroom. Sees Opal eating the mess on the floor.
>"Oh Anon, It's so nice of you to make us breakfast.", she says as she plates her hay bacon and eggs.
>"But um, aren't you going to make yourself anything?", giving you a sly smile as she bites into some toast.
Was from a IRL fuckup this morning. Made a hell of a goddamned mess, girlfriend actually said that shit.