>Day… Unimportant in Equestria.
>Long  enough, you guess.
>This day in particular was rather gloomy. No rain, just cloudy. Rain is coming tonight, though. Just like the night before.
>You sigh to yourself as you look through the window by front door of your home.
>You’ve been going on daily walks for the past few months, at the request of Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
>You didn’t like going out much. Before you came here, all those autistic bronies say they’d loooooooooove to meet their, ‘kawaii moe~ waifu’.
>But, holy shit these ponies are annoying.
>They can be cool sometimes.
>They can even be fun.
>But, they’re just mostly annoying.
>You don’t know what they saw in these ponies.
>You grumble under your breath as you toss on a light hoodie.
>You weren’t in the mood to be pestered by Twilight’s studies, Rarity’s fashion, Fluttershy’s inability to form a sentence, Pinkie Pie’s… Pinkieness, Applejack’s apples, and Rainbow Dash’s horrible attempts to hide her feelings from you.
>Yeah, it’s no secret. Ponies have the same tells as humans.
>And Dash was AWFUL at hiding hers.
>Always seeking your approval. Always glancing your way. And the blushing, Christ the blushing.
>It’s an unending assault of bashfulness from her.
>Bleh.
>She’s probably on cloud duty today, so you’ll be safe. Maybe.
>You quickly slip out of your front door and head towards the edge of Whitetail Woods.
>You’ve chosen the Woods as your preferred hang-out area.
>Not very dangerous, little pony traffic, and it’s beautiful during the autumn months.
>Like now.
 
>You take in a deep breath of the fresh air.
>The golden leaves hanging off the birch trees drip with last night’s rain.
>The crisp smell of fresh water stream weaving through the terrain.
>Yeah, Whitetail Woods is a cool place.
>Also, you’re usually safe from the eyes of Ponyville citizens, from here.
>Yeah, you like it her-
>A small rainbow streak descends from the clouds, in your direction.
>Mother of all fuck.
>Rainbow Dash’s hooves meet the ground moments later. She stumbles as she lands, obviously excited about something.
>You hold back an irritated sigh.
“Hey, Dash.”
>”Mrrf Phffh ffh!”
>You just noticed she has a few piece of paper in her mouth.
>You yank them out of her teeth.
“Didn’t your mother tell you not to talk with your mouth full?”
>”Sorry, dude, I’m just so excited!”
“About what?”
>You look at what you took from her.
“Oh!”
>Rainbow Dash had two tickets to the ‘Fillydelphia Slam Jam’. Box seats. Nice.
“Wait, are these basketball tickets?”
>”Basketball? What’s that?”
“Er… Nevermind.”
>”… Right. Well, the Slam Jam is a big fighting tournament that moves all over Equestria. This is probably as close as it’s ever gonna get!”
“Oh, neat.”
>You attempt to hand the ticket back to her.
>She looks a little offended.
“Something wrong?”
>”Well…” She takes a step back.
>Aaaaand there’s the blush.
 
>”I was thinking… You know…”
>She traces a hoof along the ground.
>”We could go. Together, I-I mean.”
>You sigh.
“Don’t you have, like, friends to go with?”
>”But… We aren’t friends?”
“I guess, but I mean like close friends. Pinkie Pie? Fluttershy?”
>She rolls her eyes.
>”Do you really think Fluttershy wants to go to this?”
“Ehh…”
>You wish she would.
>”Look, I can only see Applejack, Thunderlane, and yourself wanting to go.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather ask them? You’ve known them for longer than you’ve known me.”
>”Applejack wakes up too early for this and Thunderlane is a…”
“Douche?”
>”Yeah, he’s a douche.”
“He is…”
>”Sooooo, come on. I spent good bits on these tickets.”
“… Fine, I don’t think I have anything better planned, anyway. When is it?”
>”Tonight.”
>Your eyes grow wide.
“Tonight? Dash, there’s no way we’re making it witho-“
>”Without a carriage? Got it covered.”
“That’s pricey as shit, you know.”
>”No worries! Anything for my…” She gulps as a bead of sweat runs down her forehead, “Best bro…”
>Dash you are so shitty at hiding emotions.
>”And don’t worry about the hotel room cost either, I-“
“No, that’s waaaaaaay too much for one person-“
>”Pony.”
“Fuck off. –Person to spend. I’ll cover half of the hotel and carriage ride.”
>”Don’t you have, like, no money?”
“Yeah. Neither do you.”
>”I’ve been saving up for this trip! Come on, stop making this tough.”
“I don’t like-“
>”Whatever! Enough talk, we have to go!”
“… Now?”
>”Yeah, like, right now!”
“Dash I-“
>”Just go home, pack up a few things, and I’ll have the carriage swing by your house.”
 
>Fuck, what are you supposed to pack for a fight?
>Do you wear something sporty?
>Not like it matters, you’re just watching!
>Okay,
>Shirt, pants, underwear, socks, toothbrush, hair comb.
>And you’ll bring your hoodie in case it gets cold.
>… That wasn’t very hard.
>Wait. You need your lods emone.
>Aaaaand that ought to do it.
>You hear a knock on your front door. Couldn’t have had better timing!
>You swing the plastic grocery bag with your junk in it, over your shoulder.
>What? It’s only one night.
>Besides, you don’t have a suitcase.
>You open the door, Rainbow Dash stand on the other side.
>On the road behind her is a lavish looking carriage.
>Being pulled by two Pegasi stallions.
“Whoa, we can’t afford a Taxi, Dash.”
>She snorts.
>”You thought I would pull us all the way there? Nah, I need all my energy for tonight. It’s gonna be kickin’ rad.”
“It’d better be, I’ll be missing some good sleep.”
>”Phbbbt, don’t be such a square.”
“You’re a square!”
>”Nuh-uh!”
“Yeah-huh!”
 
>After a short, pointless argument with Rainbow Dash, the two of you climb into the taxi and get comfortable.
>Rainbow Dash gets comfortable way too close to you.
>Keep throwing all that money around, Dash. I ain’t touchin’ that snatch no matter how much you do.
“So, what, it’s cool if you miss work most of today and tomorrow?”
>”Ch’yeah, my boss sold me the tickets. He said I could take the day off if I bought ‘em.”
“Nice. Any downsides?”
>”Buckin’ expensive.”
>She looks at you longingly.
>”A-Anything for my bro, though.”
>Would it be too mean to roll your eyes right now? Because it sounds mean.
>You know what? It’s time to do it.
>You’re going to tell Dash that you’re not interested.
>Tomorrow. After the fights.
>Yeah.
>The two ponies pulling wagon speak up.
>”You have an address fer us?”
>”Yeah! I—Uh, shoot. My ticket is in with my luggage. Anon you have your with you?”
“Yeah, one sec.”
>You reach into your pocket, diving through 20,000 leagues of change, gum, and lint.
>With a little struggle, you yank the ticket out.
>On it, the address of the fight is imprinted in metallic gold text.
“931 Paddy’s Street, Fillydelphia.”
>”Aight, aight, aight.”
>Without another word, they took off, moving at speeds you wouldn’t dream of if it were Dash pulling.
>Speaking of Dash, she scooted even closer…
>You push yourself against the plush sides of the chariot, keeping an arm out to block Rainbow Dash from getting closer.
>She catches the message and scoots about a foot away.
>Good. Now you can just…
 
>Fall asleep and wake up hours later.
>It is now hours later.
>The clouds have gotten thicker.
>And Rainbow Dash is snoozing on your lap.
“Hey,”
>You push her off, stirring her awake.
“VIP section. You need a pass to get in.”
>”Hmmm,” A sly grin forms on her face. “I think the ticket in your pocket counts as a pass.”
>She winks at you.
>Did she think you were being playful?
>You weren’t being playful.
>The scowl on your face said that much.
>”Ooookaaaay, then.”
>It’s shocking how Dash hasn’t taken the message quite yet.
“Hey, drivers. How much longer?”
>”Saaaaa’hm… Bout a half-hour, ya?”
>”Cha’, bout that.”
“Alright, thanks.
>There’s a moment of silence before Rainbow Dash speaks up.
>”… We’re getting there a little early.”
>Here we go.
“Yeah.”
>”So we could do something before the fight starts.”
“Uh-huh.”
>”And I have bits to spare.”
“Right.”
>”… Anon, would you like to go out to dinner with me?”
“We should probably reserve our rooms at the hotel.”
>You keep your tone flat and uninterested.
>”B-But it’s pretty far away from where they’re hosting the fights!”
“We should make that our first stop, then.”
>You lean forward to address the two pegasi driving.
>”Wait! Umm…”
>You lean back.
>”I-I can rush over there once we’re dropped off! And you can… Get our seats! And the popcorn and the drinks!”
“Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea.”
>”Cool, it’s a plan!”
>Rainbow Dash hesitates to say something.
>”… Thanks for coming with me, Anon.”
“No probs, Dash. It’ll be fun.”
 
>The two of you arrive at the fight location shortly.
>You expected a big arena with lights dancing everywhere, rock music playing, and a huge crowd.
>Nope.
>Just a warehouse with a banner that says, FILLYDELPHIA SLAM JAM.
>And not a single person in line.
“Is this it?”
>”I guess so. I was expecting a huge arena with lights dancing everywhere, rock music, and a huge crowd.”
“Spooky.”
>”Huh?”
“Nothing.”
>”Well then,” she flings her small suitcase over her back, as well as your plastic bag of shitty clothes.
>”I gotta find us a room somewhere. I never actually reserved anything so… yeah.”
“That’s fine, just don’t get us a cum stained, 1 bed, motel room.”
>”… C’mon, that’s gross.”
>You scrunch your nose.
>”It was kinda gross, wasn’t it?”
>”Yeah man, just… Ew. Ew! I can’t get it out of my head now!”
>She taps her forehead a couple times as if she’s trying to knock the thought out.
>”I’m… yeah, I’m gonna go.”
“Catch ya in a bit.”
>”Don’t have too much fun without me.”
>The only pony to keep you entertained is the bouncer outside.
“No problemo.”
>With that, she flitters off in a random direction and disappears moments later.
>You walk up to where the line is supposed to start.
>First in line. If this were Elementary School, you’d be ecstatic.
>You keep your distance from the bouncer Earth Pony. The mother fucker looks ripped and mean.
>Oh shit he’s looking at you.
>… And then he goes inside.
>Okay…
>You lean against the side of the building and slide onto your ass.
 
>A few minutes later, a large group of assorted creatures emerges from the same door the bouncer went in.
>Ponies, Minotaurs, Griffons, and Adolescent Dragons.
>They’re all staring at you…
“… Hello.”
>”Yooooo…” A dragon says.
“Something wrong?”
>”HAH! DeeJay, you said this thing was big!”
>”Man it’s like… Pony big. Minotaurs are bigger n’ anything.”
>You brush yourself off and get to your feet.
>You now stand face-to-face with the two Minotaurs.
>”… Yooooooooooo!” the same dragon says.
>”Oh-ho, shit.” A female Griffon speaks up. “This guy is big!”
>”No kiddin’” Another Griffon interjects. “You here to compete, big guy?”
>”He’d better not, I’m winnin’ that title, tonight!” A pegasus mare boasts.
>”Whose bettin’ Sugarpop goes down first round?” The same female Griffion says.
>There’s a collective chuckle, with yourself included.
>”I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME RIPMUDER!”
>Now everyone is laughing their asses off.
>”AAARG!” She punches the ground.
>It does nothing.
>”I HATE YOU GUYS!” She flitters back inside.
>The roaring laughter continues, but dies down to chuckles moments later. Then, silence.
>”So… What are you?”
“Human.”
>”Cool, cool…”
>A Minotaur pokes you in the chest.
>”Where is your homeland?! I have never heard of a human before!”
>He flexes for no reason.
“I’m actually from a different dimension, or something. Can’t say for sure. One day I was home, then ‘Poof!’ I’m in Equestria.”
>The same dragon begins to flip the fuck out.
>”YOOOOOOOOOOO!”
>He runs back inside, still screaming.
>Another young dragon, a slightly older looking one, sighs. “I’ll go calm him down…”
 
>You and who’s left outside continue to converse.
>Eventually a crowd begins to show up. The fighters, at least you think that’s what they are, pick this as a good time to duck back inside.
>You all share some goodbyes before they disappear inside.
>Rainbow Dash returns to your side minutes later.
“Hey! You find a good place?”
>”Eeeeh…”
“Yeah, tonight’s sleep won’t be fun.”
>”Lighten up, this is gonna be awesome!”
“Yeah it will be!”
>”Are you ready?!”
“Yeah I’m ready!”
>”ARE YOU READY?!”
“FUCK YEAH I’M READY!”
>”BUCK YEAH, GET HYPE!”
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-“
>”We’re not opening the doors for another hour.” The bouncer interrupts.
“Aww.”