>Day 4 in Equestria
>The initial shock of being teleported into a world ruled by cartoon ponies has begun wearing off.
>The boredom of playing 20 million questions with Twilight Sparkle is sinking in.
>And today was even worse; Anatomy.
>It was the first thing she wanted to know about but you were able to put it off for a couple of days.
>You couldn’t push it back any further, no matter how much you begged.
>”Now anon, can you flex them for me?”
>But it wasn’t as bad as you expected.
>It was just a checklist of things she wanted to know about the human body.
>The only piece of clothing you had to take off was your shirt and socks.
>The worst part so far had to be the belly button discussion.
>She just… wouldn’t drop it.
>”Wow! I thought Spike’s hands were flexible but he’s nothing compared to this.”
>You hear Spike HARRUMPH and left the tree library thing. You guess he’s not a fan of the lack of attention over the last few days.
>”Well… that concludes everything I wanted to kn-“
>The door bursts open, an orange pony with a yellow mane walks in.
>”Oh hello, Applejack!”
>”Afternoon, Twi.” The pony named Applejack looks to you, “Ah jus’ wanted to see what all the fuss was about. So this is a human, huh? Don’ look too impressive to me.”
Pssh, you’re nothing special yourself.
>She narrows her eyes
>Twilight breaks the tension, “I, uh, I’m done with you for today. You can go meet Fluttershy now; she found you a temporary home.”
She’s the one living in the cottage with all the animals, right?
>”Yes, she-“
>”Hey, Twi. Why are there still so many things left unchecked?” Applejack was peeking over Twilight’s shoulder and looking at the list.
>”Applejaaacck! Shh!”
>”Oh c’mon Twi, ya can’t tell me yer embarrassed. Yer suppos’ ta be PRO-FESH-IN-AL.”
>”It just seemed invasive; I didn’t want our guest to feel like a test subject or something.”
>That got your attention, this doesn’t sounds good.
>”Aw horseapples, he don’ mind. Don’ ya, human?”
My name is Anon, and I sort of do-
>”Puh-leese, it’s just a couple things an’ it won’ take long.”
But I really don’t feel comfortable doing this. Maybe we could do it some other time.
>”Oh don’ be such a filly. It won’ be so bad.”
>Applejack wasn’t going to back down.
>You give Twilight a pleading looking. She completely misunderstands it… or ignores it.
>”I suppose we can run a few more tests, however these will be a bit more… physical.”
>No way this is not cool, your jimmies are at maximum rustled, prepare to evacuate.
>Magic wraps around your legs as your pants and HIGHLY STYLISH BOXER BRIEFS begin to come off
>NOPE NOPE, BELAY THAT ORDER DO NOT EVACUATE THE LITERAL JIMMIES. HOLD THE LINE
>It’s no use, magic is a hell of a lot stronger than muscle.
Twilight, I don’t want to do this.
>Before Twilight can say anything, Applejack puts her hooves on your shoulders.
>”Too bad, sugarcube. What’s first Twilight?”
>”Umm…” She levitates the list up to her eyes. “Texture of the skin. Tell me how it feels as I read it off, Applejack.”
>”Gotcha’”
>”Face.”
>Applejack forcefully pushes her hooves against your face a rubs for a bit.
>”Smooth.”
>”Back.”
>She does the same with your back. ”Smooth.”
Girls, all of my skin is smooth. Please stop.
>”Gotta be sure, Anon! This is fer… uh… science?”
>”That’s right, it has to happen sooner or later and I imagine you want to get it over with quickly.”
>She returns to her list. Stupid fucking list. “Chest.”
>”Smooth.”
>”Forelegs.”
They’re called arms, remember?
>”Right, arms.”
>”Smooth.”
>”Legs.”
>”Smooth.”
>”Flank.”
>No, too faHNNNNFNG
>”Smoooooooth.”
What the actual fuck, you two. I’m done; you can get your goddamned answers by ASKING POLITELY later.
>”Well I guess we could do tha-“
>Applejack pins you down, her hooves pressing down on your chest.
>”Ugh! Twi! We’re already goin’, let’s jus’ skip to #59.”
>”… Pain Threshold?”
>This orange pony was out for your head over a stupid comeback. It wasn’t even a good one.
>”No no no, which one was it… #69?”
>Twilight blushed furiously. “That one was originally intended as a simple question, Applejack.”
>”Oh c’mon! Ah’m curious about this one for the, uh, sake of science.”
>You’re sure even the cock-eyed pony could read through that lie.
>”Uh…” Twilight’s face has turned completely red, “#69, Method of Reproduction.”
>No. Fuck no.
No. Fuck no. I reproduce like every other mammal. Now get off.
>”Mammeel? What’s that?”
>”That doesn’t explain much, Anon. Animals are different here.”
>”So the only way ta’ find out is ta’ see,” Applejack gets really close and whispers, “or experience it for ourselves.”
>You and Twilight realize Applejack’s intentions simultaneously.
>”I’m going to step out and… See what Spike is up to! I expect a detailed report on the matter when you’re done, Applejack.
No, Twilight please don’t leave me.
>Too late, she’s gone.
>It’s just you, completely nude, and Applejack, who has you pinned down to the table.
>She looks at you with the most vicious bedroom eyes you’ve ever seen.
>”Well, Anon. Let’s get ta’ work.”
>You try to push her off, no good. She’s strong.
>”Pfftha! No way yer getting’ me off!”
>You begin flailing around, anything to get you just a little bit of room to move.
>”Yeah, keep strugglin’, Anon. I like a good fight.”
>She leans in close for a kiss. Gross.
>But you notice her raised haunches. Perfect.
>You slip a leg under her, lift her off enough to get your other leg under there.
Fuck OFF!
>You push with your legs as hard as you can.
>WOOSH, holy shit she can fly.
>She crashes through the window and lands with a loud thud outside. You can hear Twilight scream.
>Was she just standing outside, listening?
>You hear Applejack groan. No time to waste, you grab your clothes and slip them on.
>You triple check to make sure your FABULOUS PREMIUM BOXER BRIEFS are comfortably fit WHICH THEY ALWAYS ARE WITHOUT EXCEPTION.
>You damn near break the door down for how angry you are.
>Twilight is talking to herself as she write furiously, “… the human reproductive process last approximately 12 seconds and the ejaculate is very powerful, avoid if at all possible.”
>Applejack is starting to come to, time to bail.
>’This day can’t get any worse.’ You think to yourself as you walk away.
>You remember you still need a home. Time to pay Fluttershy a visit!