wild berry princess: thank you again for helping me move some things around anon.
 
>you sure have a lot of meat here.
 
a LOT of meat.
 
wbp: *giggle* well it kind of falls in line with my hobby.
 
you dont exactly want to know what that hobby is. lets just move this junk out of here before she desides to chop you up or some creepy shit like that.
 
you hunk the last couple of meat containers into a moveable trailer.
 
>alright princess, its all in there. just tell the other guys about stuff like this.
 
wbp: well i did call them, and jake picked up, but then hung up all of a sudden.
 
>well... i mean... its not really a bad thing that you called me, but i thought it was going to be an "emergency" when i got over here.
 
the princess blushes at that part.
 
wbp: i guess i did kind of exaderate.
 
 >im more suprized you didnt get your helpers to... well... help you.
 
wbp: oh nonononono, then that would ruin the suprize i have in store for them. once again, thank you for-
 
???: RAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!
 
>... where is that coming from?
 
wbp: ... from above?
 
you both look up to see a very small thing heading for wild berry princess.
 
???: im gonna get you, and this time by myself!
 
>... here, let me get that for you.
 
you grab the... whatever it is before it cn land of the princess.
 
???:ugh! let go of me!
 
it shanks you with a very tiny dagger.
 
>... ow...
 
you take the small thing out of your hand and flick it somewhere else.
 
>where you trying to kill wild berry princess?
 
???: yeah! untill you thwarted those plans. now i must think of new ones!
 
jesus this thing is adorable. it kind of looks like... a cat.
 
>are you a cat?
 
me-mow: my name is me-mow, and i am an assassin class 2.
 
fucking... adorable.
 
>me-mow... why are you trying to kill the princess?
 
me-mow: to earn my rank.
 
>you arent going to earn anything killing a princess. you need something bigger and more deadly.
 
me-mow: .... what do you imply?
 
>i imply that you should be trying to kill something like.... i dunno... a giant.
 
wbp: that thing was trying to kill me?
 
>yeah, but now we are going to go kill a giant.
 
wbp: oh... um... okay... have fun you two.
 
you and me-mow (who is still in your clutches) go off to find something of better sport to kill.
 
me-mow: so what do you have in mind?
 
>well... how about the second we see a giant evil... thing, we go kill it?
 
me-mow: must it be evil?
 
>if its evil, we cant kill it.
 
me-mow: how does it being evil make a difference?
 
>well think of it this way... you kill something big AND evil, thats more cred on your sheet.
 
me-mow thinks over it for awhile and then nods.
 
>alright... got any ideas where we might find some bad guy that just so happenes to be giant?
 
me-mow: hmmmmm.... how about the land of the thiefs?
 
>alright... point me in the direction and we can go there.
 
me-mow: its there, in the northeast.
 
you go off on the whole wheelies slide thing you do when you, finn, and jake are off to go save something.
 
me-mow: over there! i warn you .... uh... what is your name?
 
>call me anon.
 
me-mow: yes, well, anon... i warn you that you might get something stolen while we are in there, so make sure you have nothing of value on you as we go inside.
 
>hmmmm.... oh snap!
 
me-mow: what is it?
 
>i forgot i still had this PEZ packet!
 
oh god yes! PEZ is like the kind of food that you would find in valhalla!
 
THANK YOU ODEN!!!
 
you and me-mow walk into the entrance, and right then and there you start to see everyone steal everyones stuff.
 
like... no seriously, everyone was stealing from everyone. like the second someone stole something, THIER thing would get stolen next.
 
me-mow: i do not see any giants yet, head higher.
 
>yo, how bout that there tower.
 
me-mow: that will sufice as a means to see more.
 
you jump from building to building and finally make it to the tower. with a single bound, you are on that sucker.
 
>you know... i never really get a chance to do this that much. this is actually pretty fun.
 
me-mow: hmmmm.... i still cant see any- THERE!!!
 
you look to where me-mow points. indeed there is a giant.
 
giant: imma steal all yo stuff yall!
 
that sounded pretty evil to me.
 
>alright me-mow, what is your plan?
 
me-mow: i dont know... i hadnt thought that far.... can we just go back to trying to kill the princess?
 
>no. we got to get you dat street cred.
 
its tough living on the streets without no cred yo.
 
>but seriously, all we gotta do is kill it, and i dont have my sword with me... besides, YOU gotta be the one to kill it anyway.
 
well... actually, you probably could kill it without your sword... but once again, me-mow has to do it.
 
me-mow: i dont have any poisen on me... do you think maybe... a trap would work?
 
>yes it would. high five little buddy.
 
*pap*
 
a pap? my heart, it cant take all this cute.
--------------------------------------
 
jake: sorry i hung up wild berry princess, me and finn just saw an awesome wizard guy that said he needed help. what do you need?
 
finn: yeah, we are here to help.
 
wbp: well, actually anon already came to help me. he did very well moving all the meat. here, have some lemonade.
 
finn: oh man, so we just missed him? thanks.
 
wbp: yeah, he went with some cute little cat thing to go help it kill something.
 
jake: wait... cute little cat thing... you mean me-mow? anons helping me-mow?!
 
finn: theres gotta be a good reason for that.
 
wbp: well, he caught the cat, and then said that he needed to go find something else to kill so it didnt kill me. it was a very awkward moment.
 
jake: so anon isnt turning evil?
 
wbp: oh, no. i believe anon just wants to do something more... fun. when i called him, i might have exaderated what i needed him to do, and he might have found it a little boring.
 
finn: so he's helping me-mow go kill something. man... that does sound like fun. did he say what they were going to kill?
 
wbp: i think anon said they were going to go kill a giant.
 
finn: you know where they went?
 
wbp: well, they headed that way.
 
jake: *sniff sniff* yep, this is anons scent alright. i know its him because it smells like candy.
 
finn: how does anon smelling like candy mean its anon?
 
jake: well, anon does hang out with princess bubblegum alot. hay... you dont think those two are going out do you?
 
wild berry princess does a spit take.
 
finn: what? anon? pffff, naw. if i know anon correctly, he would want someone a little more cooler, like marceline.
 
wild berry princess once again does a spit take.
 
jake: you okay there girl?
 
wbp: oh... yeah, just... this lemonade so... tart... hehehe...
 
finn: you should probably add more sugar. HAH!
 
finn jumps on jakes back and they go where anons scent takes them.
------------------------------
 
>okay me-mow, look. i know how much you think this double log trap is going to work, but i have my doubts.
 
me-mow: ive seen the elders do this tons of times, its going to work!
 
>yeah, but this guy has armor on his head.... and body.
 
me-mow: thats where you come in.
 
>me? what do i do?
 
me-mow: you gotta get his armor off somehow.
 
>well... wouldnt that be cheating your cred?
 
me-mow: no, its just an advancement for my win.
 
>.... weeeeell... okaaaaay.
 
you go down to the giant and kick him in the shin.
 
giant: ow! that hurt!
 
>hay you!
 
giant: huh? me?
 
>yeah you!
 
giant: you talking to me?!
 
>yes, that is why i said you!
 
giant: you wanna go?!
 
>fight me in real life!
 
giant: oh its on!
 
oh man, this is actually pretty fun, you dont get to make smack talk with your enemies like finn and jake do, you usually just go straight for the action first.
 
giant: raaaaaaaw!
 
the giant swings his fist down on top of you.
 
you know, this would actually be a good time to see how much your "strength" is actually worth.
 
as the fist comes ever closer to you, you take your arm and guide his fist away from you.
 
succesful parry is succesful!
 
no you just need someone who plays chun-li to do their super so you can see if you can parry all of that.
 
man... that was an awesome day in fighting game history... thats what happenes when daigo gets mad though.
 
giant: whuh?!
 
>indeed suckah.
 
a little voice in your head reminds you of what you are supposed to be doing, but you highly doubt that me-mow knows telepothy.
 
none the less, lets get that armor off.
 
you jump onto his chest and begin pounting and the straps to his chestplate.
 
giant: how are you this strong?!
 
>you probably have handycap on bro.
 
giant: what?
 
oh yeah, your still thinking of fighting games... you should probably talk to beemo after this.
 
*POW*
 
there goes one piece of the chest plate, now for the other.
---------------------------------------
 
finn:.... so you really think anon is going out with pb?
 
jake: bro, those two hang out so much, i would be suprized if they werent. besides, dont you see the looks that the princess gives anon?
 
finn: um... no?
 
jake: man, you really dont think that much of bubblegum since you got with flame princess huh?
 
finn: well, i mean, shes a good friend, but i like flame princess now.
 
jake: its all good buddy.
 
finn: seriously though, i think anon would like marceline more.
 
jake: whys that?
 
finn: well, they hang out just as much as we do, and thats alot.
 
jake: i highly doubt marceline has the hots for anon finn, besides, she just got out of the relationship with ash, remember?
 
finn: yeah, but ive been noticing the looks SHE has been giving him.
 
jake: wait... no way... marceline likes anon?
 
finn: swear to glob.
 
jake: no waaaay.
 
finn: remember the last time we went to her house? shes got pictures man.
 
jake: ugh.. whatever... i cant believe we are talking about who anon should be dating anyway. that seems like something girls should be doing.
 
finn: yeah your right. we dont want to be girls, do we?
 
jake: nope. girls got emotion problems, and we dont need none a dat.
 
finn: word.
-----------------------
 
>come on, take off the helmet.
 
giant: no man! im ugly!
 
>i bet you all the girl giants would think your handsome.
 
giant: no man, the last time i did that in front of a girl giant, she was all like "ew, your ugly."
 
>she obviously had a crush on you bro. girls only do that when they got that crush.
 
so you WERE fighting the guy, but then you somehow got in a very emotional conversasion. man, some guys just got emotion problems.
 
he is still evil though.
 
>alright man, tell you what, you take off that helmet, ill give you a makeover to make you look snazzy.
 
giant: *sniff* you promise.
 
>your gonna look fabulous!~
 
giant: well... okay... here i go!
 
he lifts off the helmet and OH MY SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN HE IS HANDSOME.
 
giant: i know... im hideous!
 
>dude! holy crap. you are the most handsome guy on the planet!
 
giant: really?
 
>if i was a woman, id be all grinding on you and junk.
 
giant: hehehe.
 
>yeah... so.... just to make sure we are both clear on this... you ARE evil, right?
 
giant: yeah?
 
>okay then... i wasnt lying on the makeover. NOW ME-MOW!
 
two giant ass logs swing from side to side and hit him in the ears.
 
giant: ooooooooowwwwwwwwww...
 
>you jump to where me-mow is supposed to be.
 
>...... so....
 
me-mow: yeah yeah, you told me so. you got any other plans?
 
>now, this may be a long shot, but how good are you at holding on to stuff?
 
me-mow lets out his claws.
 
me-mow: with these babies? i can hold onto anything.
 
>alright, so heres the plan, im going to get you into his body, and you are either going to kill him by cutting up his heart pretty bad, or you are gonna have to get to his brain and-
 
me-mow: let me stop you right there. first off: no. second off: that would take FOREVER.
 
>hmmm... well then, how about you make him fall on somthing pointy and big enough to enter his body.
 
me-mow: make him trip onto his own death? brilliant!
---------------------
 
jake: *sniff sniff* oh no... dont tell me theyre in there.
 
finn: the land of thiefs. yep, they might find a giant in there.
 
jake: man, if we go in there, weare going to end up stealing again. i still got those awesome boots man. those awesome red boots that look really awesome.
 
finn: yeah, but we gotta go check up on anon.
 
jake: yeah... i guess your right.
 
finn: besides, i want to see how they are going to pull it off.
-----------------------
 
giant: get back here you jerkface! you said you would help me and all you do is hurt me, just like everyone else in my life.
 
jesus this guy has some problems.
 
me-mow: turn left, i think that there might be something close to what we are wanting over there.
 
>all we need is something that looks like it can go through a giants chest or something.
 
me-mow: how about that building?
 
>yeah, that might actually... no... that guy just stole the pointy bit.
 
me-mow: curse the land of thiefs and the people that reside in it.
 
>how about that one?
 
me-mow: yes, the spike on top of that sign might just... darn it! that guy just took the sign!
 
>man, thiefs are jerks.
 
finn: yooo anoooon!
 
is that finn?
 
jake: sup buddy?
 
yeah, and jake too.
 
>well, im helping me-mow here kill a giant that just so happens to be evil so he can get some major cred.
 
jake: why dont you just kill it?
 
>because then i would get the cred.
 
finn: yeah, thats right. so whats the plan?
 
>we are tying to find something pointy and tall enough for the giant to impale himself with.
 
finn: well, how about the spike wall?
 
>theres a spike wall?
 
jake: yeah, over in the corner of the city.
 
>get us over there so we can get this giant impaled already. hes got some problems.
 
giant: my father never loved me!
 
>yeah, like that.
 
you and the gang make your way over to the spike wall. damn, thats alot of spikes.
 
me-mow: great, now we just need to lure him onto that.
 
jake: how about we trip rope it with my strechy legs?
 
>nah, that would get you the cred.
 
finn: how about we set up some giant marbles?
 
>where are we going to find giant marbels at this hour?
 
finn: oh yeah, the marble store is closed at 5.
 
>me-mow, you got any ideas?
 
me-mow: ..... go get the logs.
 
>me-mow, the trick didnt work once, its not going to wo- oh, you want him to trip on them. gotcha, ill be right back.
 
you jump from building to building in hope of finding the logs that collided on the giants head. and there they are, about be be stolen by some dick ass thief.
 
>hay you!
 
dick ass thief: yeah?
 
>PHYCHO CRUSHER!!!
 
you fucking spin through the air sideways and hit their shit so hard, they go flying for about a mile.
 
man... you REALLY need to set up that game day again with beemo, cuz the fighting games are starting to work their way through you. thats not healthy.
 
you finish the job that the thief was doing of cutting the logs off from the rope suspending them, and head back to the gang.
 
giant: hay, whered the other guy go?
 
jake: hell be back soon.
 
giant: he said hed help me out.
 
finn: im sure that he will be back here any second.
 
>im back.
 
finn: see?
 
giant: RAAAAAW!
 
>raaaw yourself buddy.
 
you place the logs right underneith him. the second his foot hits the first one, he goes tumbling all the way to the-
 
*splat*
 
spike wall.
 
me-mow: it worked!!! now i must go collect proof of my kill.
 
>i would suggest a jar of his blood, and a lock of his glorious hair.
 
jake: that is some pretty good lookin hair.
--------------------------
 
man, what a day.
 
you helped wild berry princess move some meat into a suspicious looking trailer, you helped a tiny cat assassin get a legitimate kill, and now you are eating PEZ with your buddies.
 
jake: so this is what i was smelling.
 
>you were smelling my PEZ? yeah, well i havent eaten any of it till now, i guess having it in my pocket all the time and never eating it must have given me that scent.
 
jake: hah... and this whole time i was thinking you were having a secret relationship with princess bubblegum.
 
you spew out some of your PEZ.
 
>*cough* what? *cough*
 
finn: yeah, jake was thinking that since you smelt like candy all they time, you were dating princess bubblegum.
 
>uh... no... im not dating anyone right now.
 
wow. that was a moment.
 
jake: huh... so who DO you wanna date?
 
>well... no one at the moment.
 
jake: what? man, theres gotta be SOMEONE you wanna date.
 
>... weeeell...
 
finn and jake lean in.
 
>i would totally go out with breakfast princess. the smell of bacon 24/7? thats instant waifu material right there.
 
jake: heheheh.
 
>to be honest though, i really dont have my eyes set on anybody right now. i dunno, it just feels a little to early to go macking on some girl when i have only been here for a a couple of months.
 
finn: its alright man.
 
alright guys... well i guess ill see you sometime, im going home and washing off all this giant blood.
 
jake and finn: see yah.
 
you walk to your house and begin to actually wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship right now. who would you be with? who would want to be with you?
 
your mind keeps wondering to breakfast princess.
 
man, that would be glorious.
 
you would eat her out for the rest of your life if you were in a relationship with her.
 
then again, that would be more like a friends with benifits kind of thing.
 
.... would she be okay with you actually eating her?
 
you meant it metiphorically at first, but now you actually wonder...
 
nah... you wouldnt go out with breakfast princess, not even as a friends with benifits thing either.
 
if anything, you would be with someone that you understood, and they would understand you.
 
alright... enough relationship status talk... we need to get this gunk off of us and make plans for beemo to come over so you can fucking body some skrubs.