*knock knock knock*
 
>ughhhh...
 
...
 
*knock knock knock*
 
>its 7, let me sleep more.
 
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
 
god.... damnit.
 
you march your way to the door and pull it open with frustration. you dont care who it is, it better be fucking important.
 
>what?
 
you said that coldly.... oh well.
 
finn: um... hay anon... so... i got a holophone call from the flame king.
 
>you mean the father of the flame princess? what happened?
 
finn: well, he was just all like "blah blah blah you need to have dinner with us if you ever want to see my daughter again" and stuff.
 
>what? i thought you guys got her a new house.
 
you have never met flame princess, but youve heard a lot of nice things about her from finn.
 
finn: yeah, i asked about that, and he said that they took her away from that because today is some special holiday or something.
 
>so, they are having family dinner and you have to go to it to make sure you are able to keep seeing flame princess?
 
finn: jake said it was some kind of royal obligation of some sort.
 
>huh.... well why are you telling me all of this?
 
finn: weeeeeell-
------------------------
 
finns POV:
 
flame king: oh, and bring your parent... or guardian or whatever. the other human.
 
>what? but anon isnt my-
 
flame king: are you implying that the other human is not your guardian? it better not be that dog that showed up here for you that while back. having a dog at my diner table would be highly disrespectful and disgusting.
 
>um... what i meant to say is, that anon isnt myyyyy parent... hes my guardian.
 
flame king: good. you shall come to the flame kingdom at once or you wont be allowed to see my daughter any more.
 
>uh.. okay...
------------------
 
anons POV:
 
>you what? dude, i dont know anything about taking care of- nevermind, scratch that... yes i do. UGH... i would make an awesome guardian.
 
finn: sorry man, your my only chance. you gotta anon.
 
>well.... is jake okay with it?
 
jake: heck yeah im okay with it.
 
>how long you been there?
 
jake: i was in his back pack. im totally okay with you being his guardian fro a day.
 
>you sure jake? i mean, you two have a reaaaally long story together.
 
jake: its fine man. i can sense it in you. and besides, your pretty protective of finn anyway, remember when you took that spell for him and changed into a kid?
 
>ugh, dont remind me. yeah. alright.
 
you are pretty protective of the kid. its just that.... he really does remind you of your brother.
 
finn: so youll do it? SCHMOW-ZOW!!
 
>alright, i just need to go get my fancy clothes on. i suggest you get yours on too fin.
 
finn: ill be back in 5 minutes. HUH!
 
finn does a backflip out of your door way.
 
jake: now anon, heres the deal. finn really REALLY likes flame princess. if you mess this up, hell be crying... forever.
 
>like litteral forever, or are you just over exaggerating because of how long it takes finn to get over something?
 
jake: finn never lets something go. just do your best. no pressure... well.... a little pressure... okay yeah a lot of pressure.
 
>*sigh* let me go get my clothes on. maybe eat something befor-
 
jake: no man, dinner is soon.
 
>but its 7 in the morning.
 
jake: not for them. they are made of fire bro. they tell time off of their own... well... stuff.
 
>oh... so im having dinner for breakfast? oh man, thats like reverse brinner.
 
breakfast dinner is so fucking good. maybe dinfast will be good too.
 
jake: you got something fancy to wear?
 
>yeah, princess bubblegum keeps sending me stuff like that.
 
jake: hehe. yeah she does.
 
whats jake smiling about?
 
>well anyway, i wont mess this up for finn, besides, ill finally get to meet the girl he likes.
 
jake: shes a sweetie pie but she has these moments where she gets all angry and stuff...
 
>thats normal for girls.
 
jake: and becomes a super nova.
 
>thats not normal for girls. well, ill make sure not to make her angry. now i need to get ready now... gees i wasnt expecting this today.... heck, i didnt even expect this in the morning.
 
jake: not morning over there. finns sleepy too yo.
 
>i thought you and finn were morning people.
 
jake: nah, just me. i wake up finn sometime later. you humans are restless.
 
>we eat, we sleep.
 
jake: well, ill let you get to what you need to, ill go call flambo so he can do that fire protection shield spell thing again.
-----------------
 
lookie you anon, you look fucking clean. i bet if you said something sexy right now, a girl would fucking faint.
 
vitamin.
 
yeah... faint gurl.
 
finn: you ready anon?
 
>yeah.
 
you walk outside to see finn in some fancy clothes too... but...
 
>finn... you gonna wear your hat there?
 
finn: yeah?
 
>finn, no.
 
you take it off and pass it to jake.
 
finn: what? why?
 
>dude, we are trying to impress your girls dad. he sees you not being well dressed, hell be all like "augh, what a rat." trust me, ive know plenty of girls dads.
 
you had to show up looking like a mormon every time.
 
finn: but i like my hat.
 
>finn, your hat is the hat that ends all other hats, dont get me wrong... but you just cant wear it there.
 
finn: man....
 
finn hops up on jakes back, you begin to start walking but jake lifts you up onto his back as well.
 
>what?
 
jake: dude. anything could happen down there with your fancy suit. mud. blood. tacos. jelly. heck, even women.
 
>um... alright... but step on it, we dont need to be fashionably late.
 
jake kicks into the next gear and we head pretty dang far. it was really fun riding on jakes back like that.
 
it was like riding on a roller coaster... that was actually a dog.
 
jake: yo flambo, you here?
 
flambo: down ere. you broughts the guys?
 
>he boughtsed us.
 
flambo: good. now hold stills.
 
flambo starts talking in hellion or some shit.
 
BLAM. now your blue.
 
>how long does this last?
 
flambo: eh, until yous exit the flame kingdom.
 
finn: alright, thanks jake, well be back soon.
 
jake: remember anon... it has to go perfectly.
 
>i wouldnt let anything bad happen jake.
 
jake puts you both on the ground.
 
you and finn start walking forward. i guess finn knew where he was going or something. how many times has the guy been here?
 
you begin to look at your enviroment. it was a land of beauty and awe. volcanoes just erupting everywere. it was constantly raining ember. the clouds werent really clouds, they were smoke from all the fire.
 
>you got a nice home here flambo.
 
flambo: yeps. thats the flame kingdom for yahs.
 
as you continue to walk, you see finn fidget with his tie and his hair and his everything.
 
>finn, bro... its gonna be okay. be cool.
 
finn: but dude, if i mess this up i cant ever see f-
 
>bro. come on. your the man. ill stick up for you.
 
finn smiles and stops fidgeting with himself.
 
as you finally make it to the big castle looking rock thing, you enter the front and are escorted by two big looking flame dudes in rock armor.
 
>so, how long have you guys been working this job?
 
guard: pfff... this is my 15th year here, and i still dont recieve the same benifits that these guys do.
 
other guard: im telling you flamberto, the second you reach 25 years, you get your biz.
 
guard: you said that when i reached 15 years that would happen!
 
other guard: new rules.
 
guard: *ramble framble stupid rules grumble grump*
 
you are both led to a main room, where you can see a hulking fire dude at the head of a table, and many people who are also at the table.
 
flame king: finn the human, sit.
 
he points to two chairs that are at the other end. you didnt notice this before, but also at the head of the table is a girl. is that flame princess?
 
flame princess: hay finn.
 
yeah, thats her. she looks cute. and from what finn and jake have been telling you about her, she is good to finn.
 
flame king: silence daughter... not until the dinner is over.
 
you both sit down and you are greeted by a waiter dude.
 
waiter: what would you be having today?
 
everything.
 
>do you have a menu?
 
waiter: yes sir.
 
he pulls out a thing made of flames with... helion written on it.
 
damnit.
 
>is anything on this made of meat?
 
finn: yeah, we cant eat anything that is made of fire or something.
 
flame king: huh. i thought you humans had a high tolerance for pain.
 
>we do when it is needed.
 
waiter: well, we do have cut of dragon.
 
flame king: if you are going to order anything, that would be the thing to order.
 
>two of that please.
 
waiter: good choice sir.
 
as the waiter leaves, you are left with finn, the flame king, the flame princess, and a whole bunch of flame people around the table.
 
thats a whole lotta flame.
 
flame king: so tell me... anon, was it?
 
>anonymous sir.
 
flame king: hmmm... wierd name.
 
>i had wierd parents.
 
really wierd parents. seriously cant believe they named me that. at least squirt got a real name thanks to you begging them for something normal.
 
flame king: how are you related to prince finn?
 
prince?
 
you look at finn and he starts to sweat.
 
oh... okay... we're doing that today... i see.
 
>he is like a brother to me, so i adopted him as such.
 
flame king: you adopted him as your brother and not as your son?
 
>im only 19.
 
flame king: very... interesting.
 
finn: so... uh, are we just going to be constantly asked questions?
 
flame king: feel free to ask us anything as well. this is a diner that shall bring these two families closer together after all. i must know everything i can about you two.
 
thats actually pretty smart.
 
>well then, you first.
 
flame king: what is it that you strive for?
 
>protection of my loved ones.
 
flame king: that is admirable, but soft.
 
>i will go through any means necessary to do so as well.
 
is he purposely trying to piss you off? you cant show it then.
 
finn: um, whats it like being made of fire?
 
flame king: it gets boring sometimes. you see there are some people here that dont have flame bodies, like my daughter here, but can form flames around themselfs.
 
>can those that dont have a flame body be re-lit?
 
flame king: are you asking if a non-flamer were to be put out, could they be re-lit?
 
>yes.
 
flame king: well, it would have to be a very strong flame. what made you interested in my daughter in the first place young one?
 
finn: uh... she kind of slapped me...
 
flame king: hahaha... hahahah... oh my... you humans.
 
finn: you didnt let me finish sir, she slapped me... and for that second i looked into her eyes and just saw something there.
 
finn looks at flame princess and they both share one of those moments before her father clears his throat.
 
>so every single person here is evil correct?
 
flame king: indeed. are you implying you are good?
 
>as i said, all i strive for is to protect my loved ones.
 
flame king: ah. so no faction. those types.... worry me.
 
finn looks at you worried.
 
dont worry finn, i got this.
 
>i see you have a fine amount of swords. are you a collector?
 
flame king: you could say so. they are all the swords of my fallen enemies. if heard that you have a sword yourself.
 
>i wouldnt say i am the best swordsman in ooo, but i can hold a fight just fine.
 
hell, i can end it with that bad boy.
 
finn: um, so... what kind of sports do you have here?
 
flame king: oh, we have tons. we have fire ball, fire soccer, fire frisbee... and badmitten.
 
>badmitten? i like you already.
 
flame king: you like badmitten? i just added the sport to the kingdom. takes great skill.
 
waiter: excuse me sir, madam, guests; your dinner is served.
 
bout time, i was starving.
 
they pass out food to everyone. from what i see, there is mostly just... fire in different colors and patterns... its hard to describe. its like some fire has different shapes.
 
you look over to the flame king and princess to see what they got. it is the same thing you and finn got.
 
looking over your own bowl, something strikes you as odd.
 
what was in your bowl appeared to be meat in some sort of suace over... rice.
 
you think it looks an awefull lot like something you have had before but you need to try it to make sure.
 
you and finn time it just right so you eat it at the same time.
 
>... no way.
 
finn: oh man thats spicey!!!
 
you got to be kidding me.
 
this is freaking dragon atoufee.
 
this is cajun food.
 
finn: how is your mouth not on fire anon?!
 
>ive had alot of cajun food before. my grandmother was from luisi-
 
finn is just looking at you like "what the ever living fuck are you talking about?".
 
he would probably not say "fuck" more as something like 'kabloopidy do" or something like that.
 
wait... cajun food.
 
its worth a shot...
 
>C'est une excellente cuisine. je vous remercie de nous avoir plus.
 
the flame king looks highly suprised by this.
 
flame king: vous savez comment parler notre langue anciens?
 
oh my.
 
i think i might have just scored some extra points for finn.
 
wait... how do flame people know french?
 
..... your going to have to ask bonny about this later... this is weird... even for ooo.
 
flame king: i see i have misjudged you anon.
 
>as have i. let us make amends, shall we.
 
flame king: yes, this calls for entertainment. jester!
 
some jester dude made out of flames: yes your majesty?
 
flame king: why are you still alive, i thought finn here put you out.
 
jester: that was my brother lord.
 
flame king: oh... well are you funnier than him?
 
jester: i should have been your jester in the first place my liege.
 
flame king: amuse us.
 
the jester fucking breakdances right there on the spot while some guard beat boxes.
 
you have to admit this is actually pretty good.
 
jester: yo my name jester and im here to say-
 
and then it all turns to crap.
 
flame king: ugh... just... just go. anon, finn, i am terribly sorry.
 
>its fine... atleast it didnt start off with him rapping.
 
flame king: indeed.
 
flame princess: finn, do you not like the food?
 
finn: wha- oh, no... its good. see? im eating... it.
 
finns pushing it. you know he cant handle the spice, but hes doing it for his girl. im proud of this little guy right here.
 
flame princess: so, anonymous... may i call you anon as well?
 
>sure.
 
flame princess: finn has told me a lot about you. he has told me that you have helped him on countless quests. he has also told me about your unmatchable strength. what is it like being able to surf apon land by simbply walking?
 
>imagine that you are standing on something very slipery but you still have your balance. thats prety much me when i do the whole glidey walk thing.
 
flame king: is that what you have been calling it?
 
>i cant seem to find a good name for it yet.
 
flame princess: he also says you wield a great sword.
 
>on occasion.
 
finn: what kind of elementals do you get along with?
 
flame king: although we are not allys with them, we have a constant trade system with wind elementals.
 
>because you both use oxygen?
 
flame king: no, we both just really like tacos.
--------------
 
bubblegum: hello jake, where is anon? i can not find him at his house.
 
jake: he went with finn to the flame kingdom to make sure finn can keep seeing flame princess.
 
bubblegum: what?!
 
jake: what now, i mean, its not like him and the flame king are gonna have to fight or anything.
 
bubblegum: you just said EXACTLY what is going to happen!!!
 
jake: what?!
 
bubblegum: if i am correct that they are having a diner together, then those always end with flame king challenging the guest to a duel!
 
jake: well... i mean... anon can hold himself up... right?
 
bubblegum: not if anon has to fight with the flame shield on. the way anon fights, his body creates mass amounts of force. if anon fights, the flame shield will begin to crumble.
 
jake: what happens if it crumbles?
 
bubblegum: it will break, and no matter how fast anon is, he wont be able to escape flame kingdom in time before he combusts!!!
 
jake:.... so... we need to go get him now, dont we?
 
bubblegum: shut up and lets go already!
--------------------
 
flame king: well, i believe i have asked all i had in store for the both of you.
 
which was mostly for me for some reason.
 
flame king: and that brings us to our final portion of todays matters. anonymous, i challenge you to a duel.
 
>oh come on.... really?
 
flame king: what did you think was going to happen? i just let finn off with my daughter? no, i want to make sure my daughter will have a safe home outside of home.
 
thats actually kind of sweet.
 
flame king: so i challenge you. if you are able to defeat me, i will let him stay with my daughter. but if you loose, you have to stay here.
 
>why do i have to stay here if i loose?
 
flame king: i have heard many stories about you anonymous. if i had you as my knight, my kingdom would rise to the top of military position in ooo.
 
so you would be nothing more but a weapon to him.
 
in fact, this must be the true reason why you are here.
 
you look to finn who is close to flame princess. he looks to you worried. as you look toboth of them, you can see that he sincerely loves her.
 
you have to do this for him.
 
>i accept your challenge. but i also want to raise the prince of it.
 
flame king: you are brave to try and change the settings in front of a king anonymous. i like that fearlessness. go on.
 
>it will be added that if i win, i never have to fall under your riegn.
 
flame king: hahahah. and if i win... not only will you be my knight... you will also have to kill finn.
 
this motherfucker... ill end him.
------------
 
bubblegum: jake, go faster! we may be too late as it is!
 
jake: im sorry bubblegum but this is the fastest i can go!
 
bubblegum: then go faster!!!
 
flambo: so yous want me to put both of yous in aflame shield too. man, i should start a business if things keep happening likes this.
 
bubblegum: we are only 7 miles away jake, push it!
-----------
 
you and the flame king are placed into an arena of sorts. there are tons of people layed out in the stands.
 
flame king: choose your weapon anonymous.
 
in front of you are a bunch of weapons, all made of either flame, or some kind of blue metal. maybe he blue metal also has the flame shield around it. you need to choose one of those. as you look through all of them, nne of them are big enough to have the same weight as your sword back home. the only thing that actually looks usefull is a scythe.
 
you grab that, and the flame king grabs a giant fucking sword.
 
>oh come on, you couldnt have let me get that?
 
flame king: first rule of battle, never let the enemy have the upper hand. now ON GUARD!
 
the flame king trusts he fucking thing right for you. you have to parry it with the shaft of the scythe.
 
that was actually a pretty strong attack. if you had just blocked that, you would probably have been flung to the other end of the arena.
 
you make your counter attack a slice near his hips... or what you think are his hips. he just slides backwards completely dodging your attack.
 
flame king: i see, you have no true strategy. are you like this all the time when you are fighting?
 
>im never given anyone smart enough to dodge my attacks.
 
the flame king smiles.
 
you both go back to parrying and dodging. dodging and parrying. some times your blades would clash together.
 
it may just be that you are actually having a challenge right now, but it feels like it is starting to get hot here.
---------------
 
bubblegum: where is anonymous and fin?!
 
guard: whos asking?
 
bubblegum: princess bubblegum, the last person to defeat the flame king in battle!
 
guard: oh, oh man... step right this way your highness.
 
jake: you fought he flame king?
 
bubblegum: yes... it was to put the flame princess in lock down. if i lost, all of my kingdom would have been scorched by him.
 
jake: howed you beat him?
 
bubblegum: he was strong... but very arrogant.
---------------
 
>* pant*... youre.... *pant* pretty good.
 
flame king: are you tried already?
 
>no.... *pant*.... its just really hot...
 
why is it so ho-
 
you look to yourself. a bit of your flame shield had come off.
 
did this happen during battle? it has felt like this ever since you first swung your sythe at him.
 
maybe it is starting to wear off... you need to win this now and get finn out of here if thats the case.
 
you slide over to the king, getting real close, and pick him up with your hand around his metal waist.
 
flame king: strong indeed. no one has ever been able to lift me.
 
>i bet no ones... tossed you.. EITHER!!!
 
you throw the flame king high into the air. people in the crowd awe at how far he has gone up.
 
you position yourself where he is going to fall, and ready your scythe for a sweeping motion.
 
as the king falls down, you swing the scythe in an arch, aiming for where you think his head is.
 
*swoosh*
 
the flame king used fire to propel himself away.
 
flame king: very ruthless. very.... evil. if i had been some other elemental, that would have ended me.
 
>*pant* you... are over estimating yourself.
 
the flame king looks to where you sliced to see some lava pouring out. you guess lava is thier blood.
 
flame king: but i swear i dodged that attack!
 
>well *pant* first off... i have a scythe dummy... i can *pant* change archs by either letting go or pulling in. second *pant*... i have this really cool skill that allows me to *pant* percieve faster than most people.
 
the flame king rubs where he got cut, and then scowls. you guess he has never had a challenge before. what a poor sport.
 
bubblegum: anon!
 
you look up at the crowd to see a giant jake and bonny
 
>what? im kind of in the middle *pant* of a battle.
 
bubblegum: oh no, its already started... anon your flame shield is starting to break down because of the force you use, you have to get out of here!
 
>sorry bonny, i *pant* cant do that right now. plus i already knew that.
 
bubblegum: then why are you still fighting?!
 
>i have loved ones i need to protect.
 
as the flame king charges for you, you ready yourself for whatever he is going to do, while also panning something of your own.
 
flame king: RRRAUGH!!!!!
 
the flame king thrusts the blade at you like last time, and you parry it like before... now to do what you did the last time he did this.
 
you swing your scythe.
 
the flame king dodges one again.
 
flame king: haha... it seems that we did exactly the same thing we did when we started this. going around in circles like this, we must be equal matche-
 
> scythe dummy.
 
you pull the scythe in and drag the flame king in. you begin to spin with it in your hands, making he both of you look like one big spinning top of blue flame shield... and flame.
 
flame kings flame is starting to go out with the amount of force you are using.
 
>ill let you go if you forfeit the match.
 
flame king: i forfeit, I FORFEIT!
 
you swing the scythe in the opposite direction of the blade and fling the king o the opposite side of the arena.
 
he goes tumbling at great speed to the end of it and crashes.
 
flame king: you.... are a great challenge anonymous. even sparing me after i was going to make you kill your kin. i know now that it is a wise choice to let my daughter stay under your side of the family.
 
....what?
 
flame king: you look suprised. you thought this was only about what i wanted?
 
>yeah, pretty much.
 
flame king: evil.... but wise.
 
>*pant*... FINN! LETS GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BURST INTO FLAME ALREADY!
 
the flame princess pecks hm on the cheek, and finn comes down to join you.
-----------
 
>so you originally came to check up on my perceiving thing?
 
bubblegum: yes, but it seems like it is still running strong.
 
>i thought you said it was permanent.
 
bubblegum: it is.
 
>then why did you come here? theres gotta be another reason wh-
 
bubblegum: wellsinceeverythingisgoingwelliamgoingtogohome, bye!
 
>bu-
 
bonny just gets up and sprints out of your house.
 
i wonder what she really wanted to talk about...
 
wait... fuck... you forgot to ask her why the flame king knew how to speak french... well... maybe you can ask her later...
 
for now though, your going to eat some of this etoufee that finn didnt eat.
 
you need to get finn into cajun food, he doesnt know what hes missing.