the sun is rising.
 
you can tell because its in your FUCKING EYES!!!
 
you just wanna stay in your awesome bed and sleep the day awa-
 
... wait a minute now...
 
you feel around for sheets and covers, instead you find the feeling of grass and dirt.
 
>oh ha ha... very funny guys!
 
today was your birthday and your room mates have just played a prank on you.
 
>come on out and bring the cake already.
 
you wait for a minute... like... an actual 60 seconds...
 
no one is showing up.
 
>guys, come on, dont tell me your drunk off your asses and passed out on the prank, thats like a drop on prank points in my book.
 
another 60 seconds, and nothing.
 
okay...
 
alright...
 
so maybe your friends arent here. maybe they didnt prank you.
 
thats fine... that just raises another question then...
 
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?
 
your on a fucking grassy plain with little to no trees, everything is lush.
 
you lived in huston texas... there were only trees in parks.
 
okay... lets just try and find civilization.... wait... lets check to see what we got.
 
alright, check your pockets to see if you still have some shit.
 
got a wallet with all my cards and about 50 bucks in 2 20's and 2 5's. good, you can use this to buy shit if you get to a conviniance store or something.
 
got my watch, i dont know the timezone im in right now, but i can keep track of time by counting from when i last stopped.
 
got my phone, alright.... wait... no signal... shit.
 
aaaaaand i got a pack of PEZ candy, cool... like seriously cool because you fucking love the shit out of PEZ.
 
your basically left the same way you were last night. you still have your hoodie, your shoes, and other stuff.
 
okay... back to going to find civilization.
 
okay... we're walking...
 
>wWWOOOAH!!!
 
...what?
 
>...what?
 
okay... alright, maybe your since of balance is off, because for a second there it felt like you just dashed off when you were walking.
 
lets... lets try this agai-
 
>WOOOAAAAAH!!!!
 
this time you know you just dashed off when you were just trying to walk.
 
something is up. like... seriously up.
 
you get to your feet one last time, but this time you were going to try something different... dragging your feet.
 
... alright, just gotta drag my foot and-
 
>GWAAAH!!
 
OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
 
I TAKE A FUCKING STEP, I GO FLYING, I DRAG MY FEET, I FUCKING SLIDE ON THE GROUND!!!
 
okay anon... okay... your alright... just... just take a deep breath and try to get through this.
 
>*sigh*.... lets try this one more time, but with finesse.
 
you get up, you take one foot in front of the other, and FUCKING TIPPIE TOE MOTHERFUCKER.
 
fred flinstone aint got shit on you.
 
fucking balet ass shit going on.
 
wait... how is this happining in the fist place.
 
hay.... wait a minute...
 
you bend your knees preparing for a hop, youextend and-
 
>SHIIIIIIT!!!
 
THAT WAS NOT. A. HOP.
 
okay... you have figured out the problem, but this sounds stupid as shit.
 
the gravity is gone to shit. lets test this, if the gravity is low, maybe the density of stuff is low too, lets test this out on somthing soft yet durable... the ground... alright you take your fist and y-
 
my hand... just went through the ground...
 
well then...
 
--------------------------------
 
its been about.... 1 hour... and you have been playing around with the gravity and low desity. you have pretty much gotten used to it by now. like you are able to walk normally now, and your old walk is now a sliding stride.
 
so. much. swag.
 
come to think of it, you can move a lot more freely and faster in general thanks to the low gravity. you tested it too, you can punch like... well... the fist of the fucking north star.
 
you have no idea what the fuck is going on, but you arent freaking out anymore you guess.
 
what was i suposed to be doing anyway?
 
hmmm...
 
oh shit! gotta find civilization!
 
so you know, your just taking long sliding strides (its like if you had heelies and they made you slide for longer).
 
eventually you start to see a building of some sort in the distance.
 
>sweet, not too long and i can find out where the fuck i am, cuz i KNOW im not on earth.
 
as you get closer you begin to notice that this isnt any building... this is the fucking entryway for a kingdom.
 
alright, lets just take normal steps now.
 
you make your way to the moat.
 
um...
 
yeah...
 
is that... fucking chocolate milk for moat water?
 
*sip* yep... chocolate milk.
 
okay... so... your on another world where people make moats with chocolate milk...hmmm...
 
you step through the entryway of the kingdom, there wasnt anybody positioned outside or inside the thing, guess they think it is safe enough here... well thats cool you guess i mean you just-
 
... is... is that a walking peice of chocolate bar followed by a walking icecream cone?
 
you pinch yourself.
 
yah... not dreaming.... you should have done that awhile back now that your thining about it.
 
wait.. different species, your the alien, they're gonna freak out if they see you!
 
>shitshitshitshit...
 
you hide behind a building.
 
okay, if they dont find you, they wont try to kill you.
 
this world may have low gravity and low density, and you MIGHT be the fist of the north star... wait hold up.
 
you check your chest.
 
nope. no 7 scars.... damn.
 
back to business, this planet may have low gravity and density, and you may be able to move fucking fast, but guns and pointy objects can still kill you.
 
you need to get a descize.
 
... this robe here will do.... this is very convieniant... thanks fate.
 
you put this bad boy on and walk in the crowds.
 
>excuse me.... can you tell me where i am?
 
some candy dude: oh, you must be new here! this is the candy kingdom!
 
okay, they speak english, thanks again fate.
 
>um... so... yeah... say i wasnt a candy person, would you freak?
 
FUCK WHY DID YOU ASK THAT YOU STUPID CU-
 
candy dude: nope. we get different people here all the time!
 
>liiike what kind of people?
 
candy dude: well you got your rainicorns, your magic dogs, your trolls, your water people, your cloud people, your fluff people, your-
 
>woah woah woah woahwoah... so there is more than just candy people here?
 
candy dude: well, yeah, but none of them live IN the candy kingdom. you ARE new.
 
>hell yeah i am.
 
starchy: well guy, the name's starchy.
 
>well starchy, you think you can show me around?
 
starchy: well sure! we dont get that many people come around here besides ol' finn and jake. well we also get the ice king sometimes, but we tend to not think about him.
 
>hmmm... so uh... yeah... since this is a kingdom, that means this place has a king right?
 
starchy: princess. princess bublegum to be exact! OH! i should take you to her right away!
 
>woah... a princess is running a whole kingdom?
 
starchy: well yeah, all the princesses do in the world of ooo.
 
>so this world is called... ooo?
 
starchy: yep!
 
>huh... yeah, take me to the princess.
 
starchy: so whats the name stranger?
 
>my names anonymous, just call me anon for short though.
 
starchy: alright anon, were here at the castle, all we gotta do is ... hay... wait a minute... what kind of person doesnt know the name of the wor-
 
you dont care if these people are made out of candy, you fucking ditch starchy and book it to wherever you think the princess would be.
 
you swooce your way through a couple of hallways and end up near a THRONE ROOM!!!
 
>jackpot!
 
you wonder what the princess is going to look like. probably like a giant wad of gum... pffffhahaha.
 
pepermint dude: halt stranger! what be your hury?
 
>weeeeeeeell... its a long story... and most of it i dont even know.. i came here to ask the princess about whats happening.
 
pepermint dude: well, as the princesses butler, i will escort you to her.
 
>...sooo... what do i call you?
 
pepermint butler: pepermint butler please.
 
huh... you could have figured that out on your own... but you didnt. so your going to have to remove a gold star from your awesome record.
 
as you walk with peprmint butler to the throne, you begin to see the outline to a human figure.
 
as you get closer, you can see that she is in fact in human shape... but made out of bubble gum.
 
.... well at least she isnt a wad of gum.
 
bubblegum: hello stranger, what brings you here?
 
>well... okay... this might sound wierd... but... uhhhh... okay i dont even know what happened exactly but i woke up this morning... and im not on my home planet.
 
bubblegum: are you saying you are an alien?
 
>well... i guess you could say yeah... but um... is that a gameboy?
 
the princess was holding a fucking gameboy.
 
>um... okay... now i dont think im an alien... what was the name of this world again?
 
the princess steps down from her throne and puts the gameboy on it.
 
gameboy: whats a gameboy?
 
>um... did your gameboy just talk?
 
bubblegum: one question at a time please. the name of the planet is ooo. three o's. this is beemo. she is a gaming device slash robot.
 
>.... okay... um... huh.... and your speaking english... you know this just doesnt make since to me... maybe im in an alternate dimention?
 
bubblegum: quite possibly.
 
>okay... so this is an alternate dimention where earth is called ooo.
 
bubblegum: wait... did you just say eart-
 
*crash*
 
blue santa: princess, i hav come for you my dear and..... whos this chump?
 
>why is santa flying, blue, and calling me a chump.
 
ice king: s-santa? im not santa, im the ice king... you know.... ice wizard.... trys to get the princesses... zaps ice lightning.
 
>ice lightning?
 
ice king: ice lightning.
 
>huh... cool.
 
bubblegum: what is it now iceking, i might have found another hu-
 
iceking: OH YEAH! c'mere princess!
 
iceking takes bubblegum in his arm and flys away.
 
suddenly, a fucking yellow dog dude busts through the doorl.
 
dog: wheres the princess? did the iceking already get to her?
 
>talking dogs too? this world is just getting better.
 
dog:... what? peppermint butler what happened?
 
pepp: the princess was talking with master... excuse me we never caught your name.
 
>anonymous, anon for short.
 
pepp: yes, master anonymous here. the ice king just came and took her, whats happining now jake?
 
jake: well me and finn were jut hanging out, and then iceking came over, froze finn, and then said something like "im gonna get all the princesses and freeze them into one giant princess!". how lame is that?
 
>thats lame.
 
jake: yeah it is!
 
pepp: so is finn still in ice?
 
jake: yah, you see, i think the ice king made some sort of unmeltable ice on him! i cant even break him out.
 
permafrost? of that calibur? wow.
 
>sooo... uh... where is the ice king taking them then?
 
you dont WANNA be a hero, but you need some fucking answers, and it seems like the princess is the only one who can tell you shit around here.
 
pepp: oh, master anon, you cant go to the ice kingdom, it is too dangerous for a someone that isnt a he-
 
>im pretty sure i can flick a pebble through some walls.
 
pepp: just head north.
------------------------------
 
okay, so jake turned out to be a magic dog. see he was able to fucking... well... shapeshift.
 
you and jake talk along the way to the ice kings lair about whats going on and what has happened before. apparently the ice king is a douche. you hate douches.
 
jake: so anon... your not from ooo?
 
>nope.
 
jake: so your an alien?
 
>well, i dont know yet, i mean i still dont know if this is just an alternate dimention or not...  i mean... dont get me wrong... i could be.
 
jake: so whats up with the cloak, you ugly or something?
 
>i could be to you and the others. also i thought id keep it if were were going to go to a snowy place.
 
jake: huh, nice thinking. you know i was just kidding about the whole ugly thing.
 
>yeah, i know. i just followed along wih it... but still... what if im considered a monster to you guys.... better safe than sorry.
 
jake: well... at least your one of the good guys.
 
you and jake get inside the lair of the ice king.... why are there so many pinguins?
 
>jake.... why are there so many pinguins?
 
jake: we dunno. maybe the ice king just like pinguins. he has a favorite penguin named gunter.
 
>nice name for a pinguin.
 
jake: your an okay dude anon.
 
>same to you jake. but we need to get back onto saving the princess...ses.
 
jake: follow me, i think i know where he has them.he usually puts them in a cage... hes got something for cages too now that i think about it.... cages and pinguins.... huh...
 
>i think i see them... but... theyre frozen already.
 
ice king: yeah! and all i gotta do to turn them into an ice princess i just make up a whole bunch of wizard hallaballoo.
 
>is that really how wizards do magic?
 
ice king: well there are some spells here and there, but then theres the ones we can just make up.
 
>huh... noted... anyway, give the princesses back or im punching your douche ass to the moon.
 
Jake: his donkey? whats a douche?
 
ice king: WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! douche?! i havent heard that word in..... in... 2000 years!!!
 
so this might be an alternate universe after all.
 
>well the deal still goes... you got 5 seconds.
 
ice king: well... you called me a douche.... give me a rason to free them.
 
>do it and i wont punch you to the moon.
 
jake: can you really punch him to the moon?
 
>if i really try, i could probably get him out of the hemisphere.... maybe.
 
ice king:.... nope. zap!
 
the ice king tries to zap you with some ice lightning but you slide away and jump for him.
 
ice king: woah buddy! your squirly!
 
>your the only thing keeping me away from finding out what happened bro, let them go or ill launch myself at you again, this time im aiming for your head.
 
jake: nice.
 
>thanks.
 
ice king: pfff... you cant get me to free them. heck, you cant even break em open. you see only i have a vile that can desolve the permafrost and i keep it on the shelf.
 
>.... jake, get the vile, ill take care of the ice king.
 
jake: gotcha bro.
 
you lunge for ice king one more time and barely double kick him into the face. you didnt wanna kill the guy, you just wanted him unconsious. and you got that. he didnt even get a concusion. it was just a good clean blow. nice.
 
you walk to jake who has just poured half the vile onto the ice containing the princesses.
 
one by one they begin to fall out and gain consiousness.
 
princess made out of breakfast foods: thanks jake, thanks f.... well your not finn.
 
jake: finn got forzen, this here is anonymous, he likes to be called anon for short though.
 
bubblegum: whew... that ice was doing something with my back, thanks guys. lets go get finn out of the ice now.
-------------------------------------
 
you are riding on a rainicorn. its like a unicorn... that is fucking long as hell.... and can fly.
 
jake: oh, theres the house!
 
>sooo... you guys live in a giant treehouse?
 
jake: yyyeah?
 
>... i love you guys...
 
you make touchdown near a hunk of ice the size of a christmas tree... or... something... i dunno... it was big enough for you to fit in you guess.
 
jake puts the rest of the viles stuff on the block and it starts to melt away.
 
slowly but surely you see a figure come out, apparently it was this finn you have been hearing so much about along the way.  apparently finn and jake were like the hero's of ooo.
 
as the ice finally melts off all the way.. you see.... no... no way... no freaking way...
 
jake: finn, you okay buddy? we wooped the ice king and freed all the princesses thanks to anon here.
 
no.... freaking.... way...
 
finn: oh man! thanks guy!
 
nope...nope... no way...
 
bubblegum: anon? you alright?
 
>why didnt you guys tell me finn was a human?
 
finn: what? whats wrong with being human?
 
>nothing at all, i just thought that i was the only one here.
 
all of them: what...
 
you take off your cloak.
 
>gees... i guess this is an alternate universe after all...
 
finn: but you... i... hu...man... *sigh*
 
did.... did he just faint?
 
jake: *sigh*
 
did.... did jake just faint?
 
>princess.... please dont faint on me...
 
bubblegum: im..... im not going to faint... but im going to need a seat.
---------------------------------
 
okay... wow... so... like... finn was the only human on ooo before you.
 
shit... he had the right to faint. jake too, i mean he's been living with the kid his whole life.
 
>so... whats gonna happen now?
 
bubblegum: well, when finn wakes up, you are going to have to remember everything thats happened as up to now anon.
 
>you sure he wont faint again?
 
bubblegum:*giggle* i cant make a promise. i must admit, it is kind of relieving to know that finn isnt the only human any more.
 
finn:mmmmnnn....
 
bubblegum:oh, hes waking... get back for now... we have to ease him in.
 
>gotcha.
 
finn: princess? oh man... i had the coolest dream.
 
princess: yeah?
 
finn: yeah, it was jake and me, and we saw another human and.... it wasnt a dream was it?
 
bubblegum: are you going to faint again if i say no?
 
>way to "ease him in".
 
finn: y-y-your... a.. human....
 
>yep.
 
finn: and... your here.
 
>uhuh.
 
finn: and your alive.
 
you check your pulse.
 
>yep, im beating alright.
 
finn:... your names anon?
 
>yep.
 
finn: im finn....
 
>hi finn... can we make longer sentances now? i know im the first human you have ever met, but being short with you is starting to sound arrogant... you know?
 
you are glomped by finn.
 
>woah now buddy!
 
finn starts to cry into your shirt.
 
>hay guy... its alright...
 
you look to the princess.
 
>how old is finn?
 
bubblegum: hes about to be 14. how old are you anon?
 
>i just turned 19 today.
 
the princess blushes a little. wait. candy people can blu- oh what are you kidding this is a fucking world with ice kings, candy people, magic dogs, and lonely humans. anything can happen.
-----------------------------------
 
after all the hugging and a mass of questions of what i like and stuff from finn, it came time for the main question, how the hell did i get here?
 
bubblegum: please, start from the begining.
 
jake; oh, hold up... leeme go get popcorn... eheheheh.
 
finn: just tell us, jake takes forever with popcorn.
 
finn puts himself in the same posistion you are on the couch.
 
is... is finn trying to look cool in front of you?
 
>well, yesterday was the day before my birthday... i ususally celibrate it then and there with my frien-
 
finn: other humans?!
 
>im from an alternate dimention finn, yeah.
 
bubblegum: continue.
 
>well, we did my birthday, i got back home, made a wish on the candes and-
 
oh... oh hell naw.
 
bublegum: and what anon.
 
you facepalm.
 
>i swear to god... if its because i made a wish on the candles...
 
finn: what did you wish for?
 
>to get far away from everyone. to somewhere... like this.
 
bubblegum: you are saying that you came here from a wish on a cake?
 
>i sure hope i didnt.
 
finn: whats wrong with that?
 
finn asked that with a bit of insicurity in his voice.
 
>dont get me wrong finn, this is exactly what i wanted... its just that i cant believe a wish actually worked.
 
bubblegum: is there... anything else that hapened?
 
>i went straight to bed, felt like ifell down, didnt care and fell asleep.
 
bubblegum: fell down what?
 
>could have been a portal i guess.
 
finn: so.... you do want to stay here?
 
>totes.
 
finn gets extatic.
----------------------
 
okay, so after everything, they throw you a party. you meet all the princesses, a vampire named marceline, and some other people that finn and jake said didnt really matter. okay then.
 
princess bubblegum says that she will try and figure out how you really got here, so you thank her for that at least.
 
you will be crashing at finn and jakes place for awhile.
 
lets see what tomorrow brings us i guess.