>be Doctor Olgore Fewssenmacher >you are an internationally-known animal psychologist >this week you have been hired by Hasbro Biotoys to do a study on "smarty friend" fluffy ponies >they want to see what happens when a smarty has no other fluffies to order around >you spend the week monitoring small herds in a local park >then you spot an ideal candidate... a light blue unicorn with medium blue mane and tail >he's quite abusive of the other fluffies in his herd and makes use of two "toughie friends" as enforcers >you watch as he threatens the life of a fluffy for not allowing him to have "special hugs" with the fluffy's mate >the two "toughie friends" step forward to beat up - or possibly kill - her mate >"pwease dun huwt husban! wuv husban!" >"smawty nu cawe! yu giff speshal huggies or husban get biggest owies!" >you decide to step in at this point. >you bring your polished patent leather shoe down on the back of one of the toughie friends, breaking its back >it lays on the ground, bent in half at a horrible angle, gurgling >you grab a stick and jam it up the other toughie friend's rectum >he screams and kicks but to no avail. he is impaled through his anus and up into his digestive tract >you smack him against a tree a few times to silence him >the mare and her "husband" hug each other, sobbing into their fluff, oblivious of the death that surrounds them >the smarty, taken aback by the loss of his soldiers but still blissfully megalomaniacal, stomps up to you with his cheeks puffed up >"dis smawty wan! dis smawty hewd! yu go way or get big owwies..." >he is silenced as you pop a burlap sack over him >you carry him back to the lab, whistling an old song mother used to sing to you >the two sobbing fluffies look up to see the toughie friends dead and the smarty gone >"wha happen?" >"dunno... wan haff speshal huggies?" >"okay!" >"enf enf enf" >"mew mew mew" > >back at the lab, you double check the specially-prepared room before dumping smarty into it >everything is white. there is a small, soft bed, a bowl of water, a bowl of fluffy kibble, a litter box, a ball and blocks >all white >you pull the smarty from the sack. before he can start in with his nonsense you squeeze him over a trash can >a steady stream of mostly liquid feces oozes out of his rear end >you give him a couple of extra squeezes despite his complaining >toss him in the sink, douse him with warm water, wash him >a quick dry later and he's good as new >complaining and threatening you, of course >you resist the urge to smack him in the face. there'll be time for that later >you toss the smarty into the white room and slam the door shut >"dat's... dat's wight! dis smawty's pwace! dummy hooman nu come in hewe!" >cameras are rolling. you watch intently from behind a two-way mirror >"dummy hoomans... take smawty fwom hewd... smawty giff big huwties!" >the smarty wanders around, sniffing at the room >"dese stoopid nummies. smawty wan bettah nummies!" >he looks around, realizing there's no one to boss around >having no one to complain to, he silently munches on the fluffy kibble >"humph! smawty nu use wittah box! smawty go poopies whewe wan!" >the smarty squats on the floor and unloads a load of shit >"ew... nu smewll gud. hey! dummy hoomans! cwean poopies! naow!" >he pauses, listening. then gets a weird look on his face >"whewe hoomans? cwean up smawty poopies!" >the smarty listens again and hearing nothing, looks at his own shit and grimaces >"ew. bad poopies." >the smarty seems to occupy his time for a while batting the ball back and forth, then playing with the blocks >"smawty make bestest hous! dummy hoomans make dummy hous! smawty make smawty hous!" >the tower of blocks fall over, some of them landing in the smarty's poop >"nuuuuuuuuuu! bwocks haff poopies! nuuuuuuuuuu! stupid fwuffies! stu..." >smarty suddenly realizes he is alone and has no one else to blame. >"gahhhhhhhhhh! whewe hewd? need dummy fwuffies to ordah woun!" >the smarty sulks for a while, then crawls into the little bed and falls asleep >while he sleeps you use a small secret panel to pour more kibble and water into his dishes >the smarty wakes some ten hours later >you've already gone home but a lab assistant is recording his progress >the smarty plays with the clean blocks and the ball, muttering to himself >"dummy hoomans... dun wan baff... nummies awe poopies... SMAWTY MAKE BAD POOPIES WHEWE WAN!" >he starts to squat but then notices his other lump of rancid shit, slighly smeared on the floor from his blocks falling into it >he thinks twice and goes in the litter box >"dummy box... dummy hoomans... smawty do wat wan!" >this goes on for a week. while smarty sleeps you refill his bowls and clean out his litter box >any accidents or purposeful "bad poopies" are left where he made them >at least smarty was smart enough to realize crapping in the small room more than a couple of times will fill it with a god-awful smell >he uses the litter box regularly >but after a week he starts acting... funny >it's already known that isolated fluffies will go crazy rather quickly >even negative attention from abusive people will satisfy it to some extent >but fluffies NEED attention. they practically feed on hugs and love. >some scientists theorize that fluffies literally DO feed on positive energy >so you're interested to see what happens to a nasty fluffy when it has no attention >it doesn't take long. the fluffy starts talking to himself... or so you think. >you quickly realize he's talking to his blocks and ball >"yu dummy fwuffies sit dere... you dummy fwuffies sit dere. bad poopie fwuffies stay dere." >he thinks his blocks and ball are fluffies. fascinating. >he starts nuzzling the ball, rubbing his face against it >you don't think he's going to... >"enf enf enf... take dat fwuffy no-no wike a diwty giwl! enf enf!" >yep. he's having sex with the ball. >"dat gud speshal huggies. yu smawty's wifey naow." >amazing. he thinks the ball is his mate. >this behavior continues for the next three days. he "orders" around the blocks, moving them himself >he even starts moving the shit-stained blocks, where he had avoided touching them before >on the next day, the smarty's behavior takes a different turn >he squats and takes a huge dump >he starts forming the poop into more "fluffies" >"yu da dummiest fwuffies... smawty say yu stay hewe out of fwuff piwle. we make fwuff piwle hewe..." >the smarty climbs into his bed, covering himself with his blocks. some of the shit stains his fluff >"dis bestest fwuffpile." >he falls asleep >the next morning he wakes up and squats. he forms the poop into more little vaguely fluffy-shaped lumps >"dis smawty hewd! yu wissen to smawty! smawty is bestest fwuffy!" >this is incredible. he's made his own herd from crap. >the smarty lays in his little bed, piling his blocks and lumps of crap on top of him >when he wakes up he is covered from head to toe in shit. >his eyes have a lot of gunk in them and look very pink. his rearend is caked in shit and you can see oozing sores beginning to form >the exposure to the shit is affecting his physical health >on the thirteenth day, the smarty can barely move or see. his eyes are crusted almost completely shut. he can barely walk from the shit caked around his rear legs >"smawty... smawty... say... hewd fowwow. go... fine... nummies..." >he collapses on the ground, surrounded by his "herd" of feces. >"smawty... smawty... poopie hewd... guh..." >the smarty has died. likely from blood poisoning. >it took less than thirteen days to make a smarty friend go crazy from isolation >you record your observations and report to your employer >Hasbro Biotoys wants to see the experiment continued... possibly two or three times more to double check the results >you're not entirely sure why but as long as the checks don't bounce it's none of your business >time to head back to the park