>you are Martini, a light green fluffy pony with a darker green mane >you are a happy pony. you have a place to live and you get to give special hugs to pretty mares >you get nummies every day and sometimes you get special treats >BIG MAN and Frank-who-you-never-see take care of you and a bunch of other fluffy ponies >you were scared last night because the loud noise and the bright light came >the other fluffies were scared, too. you could smell poopies in The Room >BIG MAN finally came into The Room and brought the Pretend Yellow Sky Balls back >he doesn’t like it when the fluffies don’t make their poopies in the litter box >”GODDAM IT! You lazy little fuckers shit on your blankets? The fucking litter box is a foot away!” >”fwuffy no smew gud.” >”Yeah, no kidding, Icicle.” >it takes BIG MAN a while to gather up the dirty blankies and clean up the poopie. >”umph.” >”Zuh?” >”mmpph bwoobewwwy mmph wegs… mmph…” >blueberry lost her front legs. she pushes herself around with her back legs but since her belly got big it’s harder for her >”Fall over again, Blueberry? I’ll have to get you some wheels.” >”mmph.” >”You can say that again.” >BIG MAN sits blueberry upright. she plops over again. >”Hmmm. Well, one thing’s for sure. You’re not crapping on your blanket, too.” >BIG MAN takes blueberry from her cage and holds her over the trash can. he squeezes her belly and poopies come out >”Getting pretty big… time for babies soon.” >”bwuebewwy no wan babehs!” >”You say that like you have a choice, sweetheart.” >BIG MAN plops blueberry back in her cage. she falls over into her food dish. >”Meh. Fix yourself, stupid.”     >BIG MAN checks prism. she’s a beautiful white fluffy unicorn with a rainbow mane. she’s the prettiest mare you’ve ever seen. >”How you doing, honey… I… WHAT THE FUCK.” >you scamper up to your cage door to see what’s excited BIG MAN. he looks mad. >”Jesus Christ, Prism, did you have your foals last night? WHAT THE FUCK?” >”pwism huwty bad pwace. make poopies when bad sound an light come.” >”The fuck you did! You had your babies last night! Jesus!” >BIG MAN grabs blueberry and puts her in with beauty and icicle. >”You girls be nice to her.” >”okay, bigman, icicwle and bweauty be nice wit bwuebewwy!” >”Shuddup!” >BIG MAN tosses prism onto The Table and takes out two foals. one of them is mewling for its mommy, the other one doesn’t move >you hope it’s okay! >”Jesus, Prism, you didn’t even clean them. This one’s fucking DEAD. You crushed it, stupid! You crushed your baby!” >”pwism no wan babehs! pwism no wike special hugs!” >”I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT! YOU TAKE CARE OF THIS FOAL, PRISM!” >BIG MAN’s loud voice scares prism even more but she starts to clean the mewling baby. BIG MAN stares at her the whole time. >”That’s enough. Now you feed it. You feed it until it’s full. And you don’t make a sound or I will whip your ass!” >prism’s lip quivers and she turns away from BIG MAN but she lets the foal drink her milk   >”And this one… you better hope this never happens again.” >BIG MAN drops the other baby in the trash. >”Hey, man… what’s up?” >”Oh, hey Frank. Prism had her babies overnight.” >”That’s great! How do they look?” >”Stupid ass crushed one against the side of the cage overnight. Other one looks good. >”Ah. Too bad.” >”It’s green like martini but with a tri-colored mane and tail. Light green, dark green and cream.” >”Well, one out of two ain’t bad.” >”Oh, shit… I almost forgot… I picked up a few fluffies this morning. Hold on.”   >BIG MAN leaves The Room and comes back with four dirty fluffy ponies. he puts them on The Table. >”Looked like their entire herd got electrocuted by a fallen power line. These ones were far enough away they didn’t take the hit.” >”How they look?” >”Just a sec.” >The fluffies sit on the table nervously. One of them tries to skitter to the edge. >”Oh, no no no. You sit right there, bucko.” >”no! me smawty fwend! me no lissen to hooman!” >a brown pegasus stomps its little feet at BIG MAN and flutters its wings rapidly. >BIG MAN sighs. he hates smarties. so do you. >”me smawty, too! me no fraid of hooman!” >this smarty is a black unicorn pony. it puffs up its cheeks and blows a raspberry at BIG MAN >”I’ll be damned… two smarties.” >”What’d you bring back smarties for? Shoulda tossed them in with the power line.” >”I didn’t know! I just scooped the little shits up and threw them in my trunk!” >”Take care of them.” >”Hmmm… got an idea I wanna try.” >”Not afraid of me, huh, blackie? Okay. Let’s try something.” >BIG MAN puts the other two fluffies in a box. >”why dawk? why punish fwuffy? man go way?” >”Shaddup.” >BIG MAN gets out the Big Cutter. it makes fluffy’s heads disappear. >BIG MAN holds down the brown pegasus. it tries to skitter away. >”You watching this, blackie?” >”bwackie smawty no wike hooman! smawty donn hafta listen…” >BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down on the pegasus’ legs. it screams. >”OWIES! WEGGIES HUWTY! OWIEEEEEES!” >the black unicorn stops talking. his eyes are wide with fear. >”You going to be a good boy, Blackie?” >”buh… bwackie smawty use magic on hooman! you no huwty fwuffy…” >”Oh. Allow me to retort.” >BIG MAN slams the Big Cutter down on the brown pegasus’ front legs. it screams again. >”WEGGIES! PWEASE NO MO HUWTY! NO MO WANNA BE SMAWTY!” >”So… Blackie… you going to be a good boy?” >the unicorn looks into the eys of the pegasus. the pegasus seems to be silently pleading with it >”but… bwackie fwuffy is smawt fwuffy…” >”Wrong answer, Einstein.” >BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down on the rear end of the pegasus, cutting its tail and some of its bottom off. >”You can stop this, Blackie. Say you’ll be good. That’s all I wanna hear.” >”pwease no mow huwty fwuffy fwend…” >”Say. You. Will. Be. Good.” >”bwackie smawty don wan lissen to hooman…” >”pwease say be good! pwease no mow huwty!” >”See that? Chocolate Thunder here wants you to be good, too. Now SAY IT.” >”smawty… smawty no wanna…” >BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down again, this time cutting off the pegasus’ wings with one stroke. >”Last chance, Blackie. You going to be a good boy?” >”bwackie smawty no wissen to hooman…” >”Aw… sorry, Chocolate. Guess you lose.” >BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down one last time. the pegasus’ head is removed from its body >the black unicorn is in shock. >”other smawty fwen huwty…” >”Yep. All your fault, you arrogant douche. Come here.” >the unicorn yelps as BIG MAN grabs it by the fluff at the back of its neck. with three swift strokes he has quartered the unicorn. >the knife cut so quickly that the pegasus barely had time to react. it still tries to spit out a few words as its body slides apart into pieces >”smawty… didn mean… huwt… otha fwuffy… sowwy… fwuffy…” >BIG MAN scoops the pieces into the trash >”How’d that work out?” >”Dammit… I was hoping it would adjust the unicorn’s attitude but it wouldn’t bend.” >”Huh. Well, now we know.”     >BIG MAN wipes the blood from the table and removes one of the other fluffies from the box. >your eyes light up - it’s another unicorn! >this one seems very friendly. it skips and jumps around The Table >”Hey! Now this is the attitude I like to see. What’s your name?” >”fwuffy name is zaver! zaver is good fwuffy!” >xavier is a purple unicorn with a white and purple mane and tail. maybe he’ll get put in your cage and you can have hugs at night! and play! >BIG MAN shows xavier the cards. he seems happy with xavier’s answers. >”Okay, Xavier. This is Martini. You two play nice now.” >”hewoo! my namwe mawtini! you wann pway?” >”hewoo mawtini! my namwe zaver! i wuv pway!” >you and xavier give each other warm hugs and play with your ball.   >BIG MAN takes the other fluffy from the box. it’s a yellow earth pony. and she looks like she might have babies! >”Ohhhhhhhh shit. I fucked up, Frank.” >”What’s wrong?” >”This one’s pregnant. Gonna pop soon.” >”Great - we can sell them.” >”What happened to good breeding? We can’t just plop some homeless feral’s foals down in front of a customer!” >”Yeah, I guess you’re right. Take care of it.” >”Fuck you, Frank! You take care of it!” >”I do the sales, I do the paperwork, I find us clients. Your job is to keep them clean and mating and to get rid of the rabble.” >”It’s not rabble, Frank! It’s a mother and babies!” >”Then take her to the adoption agency.” >BIG MAN looks at the Big Cutter on The Table, then back to the mare. >”mistah pwease no huwty. fwuffy gonn be momma soon. pwease no huwty babehs.” >”Shut… shut up.” >BIG MAN picks up the Big Cutter. >the mare’s eyes widen   >BIG MAN wipes the blade and puts it back in the drawer. >”Come on, chubby. Gotta get you to the adoption agency.” >BIG MAN puts the fluffy back in the box and leaves The Room.   >you’re so happy you have a new fluffy to play with! you and xavier will be best of friends! >BEST DAY EVER!