Fimfiction Self Insert
Idea by Newblood
 
>You are Anon.
>You walk out of your last class of the day.
>The thought of getting home and relaxing with some games calmed your irritated mind.
>You glance over your shoulder.
>Flash Sentry is at it again, this time, he's going for the smart purple one and the shy one.
>You grimace. He's always going around bragging about how he had a threesome at his house, or how he banged a chick in the toilet.
>Someone needs to show him up one day.
>You glance down briefly at your body.
>Sure you're not the fittest guy in school, but you had a decent body, nothing really undesirable.
>You shrug and walk towards the exit, casting Dick Sentry a final glance.
>The warm breeze kisses your face, giving you a much needed relief from the hot summer sun.
>You head down the road, casting glances at the houses opposite.
>You pass Rarity's house.
>You're sure you can hear faint moans coming from one of the upstairs rooms.
>You shrug and continue down the road.
>You reach the crossroads leading towards the shops.
>Idly, you cross the road and turn down an alley, it was your favourite shortcut, since it led you straight to your road.
>You hear footsteps from the left.
 
"Over here, stranger."
 
>You glance around and spot a man ducking into a dark side alley.
>Curiosity gets the better of you and you follow him.
>You turn the corner and spot him standing there.
>A large, tattered black trench coat covers his body, a purply piece of fabric  covers his face, leaving only his eyes visible.  A large, sandy backpack is strapped into this back.
 
"Got somethin' that might interest ya'. Heh heh heh."
 
>He opens up his coat to reveal an assortment of random items. Guns, first aid kits, the lot.
>You eye him quizzically, not entirely sure what to do.
>Curiosity gets the better of you and you move closer to inspect the items.
>He pulls out a glass bottle, filled with a still, clear liquid.
 
"Ever wanted to get a girl wet just by lookin' at ya'? This stuff does it for ya'.
 
part 2
>You inspect the bottle. A small label with the word 'wet' is stuck on the side.
>You never had much trouble getting a girl wet, it just took a bit of charm and some well placed fingers.
>You think about Flash.
>It sure would be funny to show him up tomorrow.
>Assuming this stuff works.
>You look at him.
>Something about him makes you think he can be trusted.
>You discard those thoughts and ask how much the bottle costs.
 
"3 dollars."
 
>3 dollars
>Fucking bargain.
>Even if it doesn't work it might make a nice cologne, or fuel for a fire.
>You reach into your pocket and pull out 3 crumpled up notes.
>You hand them to him, and take the bottle.
 
"Heh heh heh heh, thank you."
 
>You pocket the bottle and inspect the other items in his coat.
>First aid, nah.
>Guns, you don't have enought money for one.
>You turn to depart and thank the strange man for the bottle.
 
"Come back anytime."
 
>You walk down the alley once again and inspect the bottle.
>You twist the cap off and take a whiff.
>A myriad of smells floods your senses, completely overpowering everything else.
>You smell flowers, a hint of cinnamon, and all sorts of other exotic ingredients.
>You put the cap back on and pocket the bottle.
>You can't wait to use this tomorrow.
>You turn turn the corner and enter the main street, andspot a small group of girls walking towards you.
>Smirking, you pull out the bottle and open it up.
>The smell emanates from the bottle, tainting the air with it's intoxicating scent.
>You walk past the girls, still clutching the open bottle in your hand.
>They stop.
>Their idle chattering discontinues, and they all stare at you, hungrily.
>You wink as you walk past them.
>You quickly pocket the bottle and walk towards your house.
>You stroll through the front door and lock it.
>You laugh to yourself and walk into your kitchen.
>3 dollars well spent.
 
"Anon, is that you?"
 
>Your mother comes down the stairs, dressed in her fancy clothes.
>You remember that she's going out with your father for a dinner with his boss or something.
 
"I've left some food in the oven for you, and there should be some snacks in the cupboard.
 
>You sigh and walk towards the cupboards.
>You pull on the doors and inspect the contents.
>Jaffa cakes.
>You grab them and practically skip into the living room, eager to dine on you favourite tangy orangy choccy cakes.
>Your mother strolls in to the room, purposefully showing off her new dress.
 
"What do you think Anon?"
 
>you grab the tv remote and click the power button.
 
"Eh."
 
"Eh? Just eh? Really Anon you could at least-"
 
>Your mother stops mid sentence and sniffs up sharply.
>You turn to her and raise a fuzzy eyebrow.
>She sniffs up again, then a third time.
 
"What is that intoxicating smell Anon?"
 
>Suddenly it hits you.
>Oh fucking shit nigger.
>The chair you were sitting on topples over as you bolt out of the door, mentally burning all disturbing thoughts of your mother that flow through your head.