Day 1 (Kinda)
>It's finally over
>Honorable discharge
>Long flight home, get no sleep
>Didn't tell Katie, want to surprise her
>That and with a ring
>Plane finally lands in Colorado Springs
>Dad and mom are waiting, give the welcome back tears
>Go home, change into dress uniform
>Grab truck, so excited you can barely sit still
>She's stayed with you so long
>Through the wounds and buddies dying
>Round last corner
>Two cars in driveway
> Don't know anyone who drives a porsche
>Maybe a friend, no worries, you trust her
>Jump out, walkin' on fuckin sunshine
>Knock
>No answer
>Let self in, she never cared before
>Greeted by the sight of some douchebag raping your girl
>Blind rage
>Rip him off of her, proceed to wreck his shit
>"YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKIN' RAPE MY GIRL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
>"What are you doing anon!?"
>wat
> Doucebag manages to regain himself and sputter, "Fuckin' stop, she came onto me!"
>Feel something snap in the recesses of your mind.
 
>Drop doucebag, stand up straight again
>He bolts like a buck naked flash
>Stare at katie
>She says words but your mind doesnt register them
>You turn smartly on your heel and walk away
>Slowly and methodically drive home
>You've got no more reason to go on.
>Dead friends, cheating girlfriend that you were with for 4 years, nightmares send you back to Afghanistan every night
>Fuck the world
>Make it home
>Ignore parents trying to talk to you
>Grab every scrap of your military gear you have left: spare BDU's, web vests, survival gear
>Grab M1a dad got you for your birthday plus a couple of boxes of ammo
>Stuff it all in your pack and a duffel bag
>Time to disappear from the face of the earth
 
>You drove for six hours, going down trails your truck was never meant to go
>Eventually a ball joint gives up the ghost
>Continue on foot another hour
>Make camp, build fire
>Crawl into sleeping bag
>Cry self to sleep
 
>Wake up
>Sun is shining through the trees
>Wait, trees?
>You camped in an open field, built a fire, with a stream a short ways away
>You woke up in a forest, no sign of your fire, no stream that you can see
>Jimmies beginning to be rustled
>Nervously eat breakfast of MRE chilli
>Got peanut M&M’s for dessert
>Fuckyeah.jpg
>Still on edge, you break camp and decide to head west
>A few hours later, you come to the edge of the forest.
>Is that a... house?
>You’ve seen hunting cabins tucked away in the mountains but this two story abode is tad bit ridiculous
>What the hell, you may as well go and ask where you are
>Knock knock
>A sing-songy voice responds, “I’m comiiing!”
>Door opens
>A yellow pony with pink hair and FUCKING WINGS stands opposite of you
>Jimmies thoroughly rustled
>In blind panic you grab your rifle and aim at her as she slams the door with a frightened, “Eeep!”
>WHAT IN SATANS UNWASHED BUNGHOLE WAS THAT
 
 
 
 
 
 
>Your mind, still reeling from all this what-the-fuck-itude, barely catches another voice inside say, "Who was at the door Fluttershy?"
>The same voice continues, "You'll never make many new friends if you slam the door in their faces!"
>Door opens again
>allmyWUT
>This time a PURPLE HORSE WITH A FUCKING HORN AND VIOLET HAIR answers the door
>You unconsciously pull the trigger as your mind fails to make sense of this
>Missed the purple one, grazed the yellow one
>Haul balls out of there
>Toss away duffle, it's only slowing you down
> Make it to edge of forest
>Purple light all around you
>Realize the forest isnt getting any closer
>Turn around
>See purple horse's horn glowing
>Time for round two
>Before the shot can go off your rifle is wrenched out of your hands
>You are now floating towards the purple pony
>"What did you do!?" She yells
>Mind promptly displays blue screen of oh shit
>Reboot required
>You Pass out
 
>You’re back
>That same damn convoy
>Soldiers talking and laughing, but it’s muffled and incomprehensible
> You feel the force of the explosion before you hear it
>The humvee in front of yours has literally disappears from the face of the earth in a massive explosion
>Rockets crump and ak47’s clatter
> You jump out and start firing
>A shot hits you, like a baseball bat on fire
>All you see is the sky
>Then a towelhead stands over you
>He points the ak at you
>You wake up screaming
>Cold sweat drenches you.
>”You’re awake!” Comes a voice not unlike many cheerleaders you knew
>Only it came from the mouth of a violently pink horse who is right in your face
> Rustle rustle rustle...
>Training fires up
>You’re in what looks like a library
>Try to move arms. They’re bound
>Legs aren’t.
>Kick forward violently
>Pony sent sprawling
>notice more, including the yellow winged pony and the purple horned one
>Jump to feet, sprint toward window
>Jump
>Denied freedom by purple light
>Begin to dislike purple with the loathing you previously reserved for Snooki
>Now legs are bound
>”What the hay was that for?” Says purplebitch
> Still trying to comprehend how ponies can speak, you blurt out, “How the hell are you talking?”
>The pink pony, seemingly unfazed by a kick that easily should have broken most of her ribs, perks up, “All ponies can talk, silly-billy!”
>Filing pink pony under ditzy cheerleader heading
 
>”Ponies?”
>Where in the world are you?
>Purple bitch puts you back in your chair, then proceeds to put on her gameface
> “Yes, ponies. And what might you be? And where did you come from?”
>”A fucking human. What else would I be? And I don’t know how I got here. I went sleep in a clearing and woke up in a forest. Speaking of which, where in God’s name is here?”
>Purplebitch recoils slightly at your response of “human”, and quickly runs off in another room
>”So what were ya dreamin’ about? You thrashed around a lot,” an orange pony in a cowboy hat drawls at you.
>”Nothing, just a bad dream. But seriously where am I?”
> “Why you’re in Equestria, darling!” Perks up a refined sounding white... unicorn?
>” Oh, where are my manners? I’m Rarity..., “
>She then proceeds to introduce all 6 of them, including purplebit- I mean Twilight Sparkle.
>”And what is your name?”
>“Anonymous”
>”That’s a... nice name”
>Twilight Sparkle, enter stage left
>She calls the other ponies over, and they appear to discuss something in hushed tones
>Eventually they stop and Twilight and the other ponies
>”Well, I’ve never heard of a human, and I can’t seem to remember anything on a “humans” from any of the books I’ve read.  So we’re going to have you stay here why I try to figure out what you are and how you came here.”
>”Can you at least untie me and give me my things?”
>”I can’t give you your things, you hurt Fluttershy with that... thing,”
>Notice bandages on yellow horse. Oh yeah...
>”... and I’ll only untie you if you promise not to run away.”
>It’s not like you can run away from magic or pegasi, you don’t know your surroundings, and they ARE treating you with at least more civility then you gave them.
>”On my honor as a soldier, I promise.”
>Pinkie Pie practically tackles you at this and yells, “Then we need to throw a party for you! No one’s ever even heard of a human before! Do you like parties?”
>Is she on coke?
>Between the tackle and the rapid-fire sentences, all you can get out is, “Umm... yeah?”
>At this Pinkie takes off faster than you thought any living being could move.
>”What was that?” you mutter as you pick yourself off the floor, with a little help from Applejack.
>”She’s just excited she got ‘nother party ta throw for somepony,” Applejack says, as if partying is Pinkie’s sole purpose for living.
>”That’s Pinkie for you,” Twilight matter-of-factly says.
>”Well, I’d better start my research. I’ll have Spike and the girls show you around town.”
>Spike? Must be a dog. Probably some kind of pit bull that straight eats intruders.
>Turns out Spikes a baby dragon. Dragonofanykind=awesome.
>Get weird stares all day, but it’s not like you weren’t ogled before because you were a vet.
>Ends the day with a wonderful party, all celebrating you just being... you.
>It’s weird,  no one besides your parents and buddies from your unit ever did anything like this for you.
>Maybe... maybe this won’t be such a bad thing.
> Worn out, you follow Spike back to Twilght’s house, and not caring it’s far too small, you plop down on her couch.
>Sleep finds you quickly.