"S-stop!"
>"Hammertime?" Pinkie adds
>"The only hammers here are our coc-"
>"Ha Ha NOPE. I have witnesses this time. WITNESSESSSS~" Anon Hisses, pointing fingers at everyone in the cells
>"Well yes, we do find that's an issue...sometimes..." Fudge Packer begins, nudging Hard Time
>"O-oh, right! Well. Let's just see." He clears his throat, standing infront of Anon's cell. "Prisoner #24601! We suspect you of hiding contraband!"
>"Bullshit!" Anon yells
>"Take off your clothing or get the hose!"
>"Fuck you, little ho-"
>A spray of water from a garden hose silences Anon, and he holds up his hand
>It doesn't stop him from getting drenched, but...
>oh. His clothing is just sticking....to his body...
>Umm. Hm.
>"We need to search you...thoroughly...for anything hard that could hurt us. For your safety, of course." Fudge Packer says, unnecessarily huskily
>"Oh no! I lost control of the hose~"
>Fudge Packer ends up drenching both him AND Hard Time...
>Why are your wings going up
>OH SHIT IT'S WET COLT-ON-COLT ACTION
>You hear a cough beside you, and spare a glance
>Fluttershy's holding her muzzle, trying to stop the nosebleed
>Ugh your wings HURT
>"Th-this isn't fair at all~" whines Rarity, pressing up against the bars
>"Hehe... and this is why nobody reports us~. We get some fun, you get a show!"
>"'Cept I'm straight, little rapist horses." Anon says, crossing his arms
>Hard Time chuckles. "Straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot~" he says, breathily at the end
>"We have to.... stop them? Right?" you hear RD say questioningly, and you nod slightly
>"Yes, you DO. Come on, they're working on my keyhole again!
>"O-oh my~" Pinkie coos
>"NOT LIKE THAT"
"Y-yeah. We'll stop them...in... in a few minutes. Say... 15?"
>There's a few murmurs of agreement
>The keyhole is licked by Hard Time until it clicks free...
>"U-use your bullshit horse magic - something! Daring?! Rari- AJ?! PONKA?!"
>"Sssh... now... we renovated this cell for you~"
 
>"So that's why there's the heart-shaped bed-"
>"And the disco ball-" Hard Time chirps
>"and the oils~" Fudge Packer adds
>"Th-Oh! YES." Anon grabs some bottles off the top shelf and begins to
>O-oohhhh~
>Pours them all over his body
>"Oh! Usually there's more fight to the night... are you going to tell us that you love us now, naughty boy~?"
>Anon has the most serious look on his face
>"I already have a motherland I love! I cannot swear allegiance to you!"
>"Ha ha... what?"
>Fudge Packer looks at Hard Time, who shrugs
>As one they lunge forward, grabbing his shirt with their teeth
"O-u-nnf~"
>GOOD JOB BRAIN
>Anon's shirt rips down the middle - perfectly
>His glistening c-chest...ah... ok rescue in... 30 minutes.
>"Go ahead and bite me! I'll return the favor with a throw!"
>He bends over and grapples Hard Time with an audible *squelch* and
>haah
>. . .Mmnl?
>Anon is currently wrestling both Ponice colts
>O-oiled a-and... glistening
>"You need a workout, comrade! You canīt even see your toes, can you?" He says as he suplexes Hard Time into the bed
>The bed begins to vibrate and spin
>Fudge Packer leaps onto Anon's chest, trying to get a grip - but he can't quite handle it
>Grinning, he jumps up and falls forward
>"I am the Red Cyclone. And I never lose!"
>With a resounding squeak - and a throaty moan - a lubed-up Anon pounds the uniformed colt, Fudge P-packer into the f-floor...
>45 minutes. Rescue in...45 minutes
>"W-we...shou-ooh...should d-do s-something~"
"Shh...Fluttershy. Don't.... don't spook them." Rarity hisses, her eyes focused only on Anon's cell
>*squelch*
>*sliiick*
>"Mmh! Aaah~! Nnnnh Hard Time, get back onto-OOH~"
>"Your blows cannot harm the Red Cyclone! They tickle like feathers!"
>The sound of the deadbolt thunking open barely registers
>But the following voices do
>"A-ANON!" Twilight cries
>"W-WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Celestia demands
[spoiler]>"YEA! THOU HAST BEEN TRAINING IN OUR ABSENCE FOR A REMATCH! WONDERFUL!" Luna cheers[/spoiler]
 
>You watch in stunned silence as Luna magically ejects her vestments as she runs forward, a manic grin on her face
>"PREPARE THY TONED FLANK, HUM-"
>A purple-golden glow lifts her up and kills her momentum
>She's still attempting to run though
>"WH-What?! Sisters, let me be! It's obvious that human mating rituals involve oils and grappling-"
>Well. Trot now.
>She protests as she's hovered over to your cell - just to get her out of the way
>But you're not paying attention
>Colt-on-colt action with a peripheral side of princess flank
>"H-hard TI-aaaaahhhhnn~ T-the ho-OH-cuffs~"
>Anon slammed the ponicecolt on the bed, but... oh boy
>You're pretty sure your pinions are gonna shoot off here soon
>The other ponicecolt - Hard Time? Ends up with a hoofcuff dangling off his forehoof, his body wrapped around your colt's waist...trying to lick off the oils
>The grunts continue in the jail cell, everyone watching in... quiet admiration
>Celestia lowers her head and murmurs to Twilight "....rescue in 30?"
>Or silent lust
>Twilight shakes her head. "45."
>Both work
>Eventually all good things must come to an end, and Anon - that brilliant, kinky colt - saw an opportunity to escape
>So he took it
>And invented a new, royally-endorsed subgenre of colt-cuddling moves
>You were blessed to witness Hard Time being hoofcuffed to Fudge Packer's...
>Fudge Packer
>"O-oh no!"
>"Oh, Hard, it's so Tiiiight~"
>"Oh - ok, I can help! We have to get it to go down~"
>"How do we do that~?"
>NNNNGGGHHHHHH
>Anon's jail cell is slammed shut, your colt breathing heavily as very lewd things begin to happen behind his back
>"A-Ano-"
>"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANY OF YOU HELP ME?!"
>Rainbow Dash pipes up. "Anon, we love you, but right now you either gotta join in or move out of the way"
>"The FUCK, RD? Are you S-"
>Hard Time's head leans back, looking at you all questioningly
>"Ssshhhhhhh~ shh shh shhh"
>Every mare hushes Anon at once
"...Sorry babe, but you're spooking 'em."
 
* * *
>Anon sits, facing the window, watching the scenery go by
>Every so often the train jumps over a bump, and he sways
>His arms are crossed, his legs are crossed....
>He mad
>poutingcolt.statue
>Fluttershy is gently draping a wing on his back, which he's not smacking away - so there's progress. Rarity keeps offering him fresh tea and snacks...which he takes. Sometimes.
>But he's still not talking to anypony
>Well it's not YOUR fault!
>I mean, he did start a riot
>And then resisted arrest
>And resisted the ponice when they came to search his cell
>And to frisk...him...
>. . .
>You gently tamp down your wings
>Anyway. Long story short, the princesses - yours included - thought it would be a good idea to... remove him from Ponyville
>Temporarily!
>Just, we can't have colts starting riots! This isn't the 70s!
>freeloveandconditioner.musicfestival
>So you're on your way to visit some of Twilight's family up in the Crystal Kingdom
>"Ya'll have any sixes?"
>"Go fish. Any twos? ...hey, Daring!"
>You turn away from Anon and look at your friends
"O-oh. Uh. Here."
>You hoof over the 2 of hearts and the 2 of crystals
>"Hah! Awesome."
>You sit, looking at your hand...
>Why is it called a hand if you have hooves?!
>The idle thought strikes you, and you can't help but ponder
>"....Darin'? Hon, if you keep spacin' out I'm gonna say you forfeit."
"Why is it called a hand of cards if we have hooves?"
>"Wha-oh... I uh... huh."
>Your group descends into deep thought
>The train goes over another bump, and you all sway
>*Kt-chhhk*
>The cabin door swings open, Twilight coming in with a soft smile
>"Good news, everypony! We'll be there in about 4 hours."
>"Hm."
>Well. At least we got a noise out of him this time
>"It's....quicker than usual, because we're on an express train with no cargo..."
>Twilight tries to lighten the mood with facts, because FACTS(tm) make everything better
>"...could've at least let me change into something decent."
 
>Twilight sighs, sitting down in the aisle
>"Anon, sweetie I tried to tell you - it was either go now or go to another jail. We all left without anything!"
>Anon's frown turns into a scowl
>Nooo Twilight don't use logic on a colt what's wrong with you
>Rarity, ever vigilant, interrupts Twilight
>"W-what I think she's saying, dear, is that we only acted in your best interest - and we were all happy to leave everything behind at a moment's notice for you."
>"Why wasn't helping me in the jail cell in your best interest?"
>FFFFFFFFFF
>Rarity coughs, murmuring something about catching a break
>Pinkie pipes up. "But Nonnie, at least we're getting a free vacaiton, right?!"
>"Exile isn't my idea of a vacation, Pinkie."
>Pinkie grimaces, her smile wavering a bit
>Time to step in and save the day
>You're going to use years of smoothtalking and etiquette
"Anon..."
>You're going to calm him down like you've done to dozens of other colts hundreds of times
>Anon looks at you - half glaring, half just... disappointed
>Ugh, you hate that look
>He's looking like he's prepared himself to be disappointed again...
>....you really hate that look and what were you going to say?
>Fuck, uh. DEFAULT TO LAST SAVE FILE
>No brain no-
>With an earnest and love-filled expression you ask
"Why are they called hands of cards if we have hooves?"
>"Wh. Ah." He blinks a few times, his arms uncrossing. "....Wait what?"
>Outwardly, you shrug
>Internally you're screaming
>"....I have no idea."
>And then he does something you never would expect
>He laughs
>And just like that the tension is broken
>Pinkie ain't got nothin on you!
>In fact
>You look over to where she sits, eyes glaring at you over her card HAND
>You grin
>She motions that she's watching you
>Your grin widens
 
>He's still not really pulling anyone in for snuggles or kisses, but at least he's talking to ponies now
>small steps, I guess
>"So, where are we going and who are we going to see? It seems like everyone else but me knows what's going on..."
>"O-oh. Sorry." Twilight blushes, her ears splaying back. "I forgot - you've not been outside of Ponyville and Canterlot..."
>"Not for lack of trying. I -still- don't know why a man can't travel unaccompanied on a train..."
>"Stranger Danger" pipes up Fluttershy, and everyone nods softly
>The most strange of all dangers
>Anon rolls his eyes, reaching down for his tea again. "So. Where, what, who?"
>You sit down in the aisle, interested as well
>Your herd follows suit
>Hey you started an impromptu drum circle
>neat
>Twilight turns into Lecture Mode Twilight (podium not included)
>"Where is simple enough - the Crystal Kingdom, lost after a thousand year curse, recently rediscovered and brought back into the Equestrian Imperium. They're the largest, northernmost settlement of ponies on our continent, and have mild springs, but harsh winters..."
>Blah blah blaaaah... now she's talking about the weather
>Anon's listening, though. You should too
>"....and migratory fowl also arrive. As far as what, uh...I haven't planned an itinerary, but if you give me some time I'm sure we co-"
>"Yeah, no. We'll play it by ear."
>"Aah...hah, ok! Sure, going in without a plan - sure. I can do that" Twi says, forcing that smile
>"But you still haven't told me who."
>"Oh, right. Well, we're going to be meeting your future inlaws!"
>Anon pauses his tea drinking, blinking slowly
>"...this is an exile, and not cruel and unusual punishment, right?"
>"A-ah, w-well, It's my brother and his wife..."
>"Oh, that doesn't sound too ba-"
>"Captain of the Equestrian Guard Shining Armor, and Crowned Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
>He goes back to sipping, narrowing his eyes at Twilight
>judgmentally sipping
 
>Twilight begins to fidget in place
>"I-I mean, it's just a coincidence that my Brother's the Captain of the Guard and the Ponice Force Marshall-"
>*siiiiiiip*
>"A-and that he married another Princess, who will most likely... want to interr-TALK! Talk to you abo-"
>*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*
>How is there still tea in that tiny cup?!
>Anon pauses as Twilight nervously looks around for help
>ha ha ha only an idiot would jump in right no-
>"Anon, babe." Dash begins, fluffing herself up
>He quirks an eyebrow
>Therewillbeblood.prophecy
>"There's nothin' to worry about! We've all met them before, and they're great ponies!"
>He lowers the cup slightly. "Oh? And what did ya'll end up doing to break the ice?"
>"It was awesome! First, we were invaded by shapeshifting emotion vampires, and then the second time we met him we were all possessed and thrown into a void of despair as a thousand-year-old lich attempted to take the throne!"
>The silence in the traincar is deafening
>. . . .
>*siiiiiii-*
>"OH COME ON" she throws up her hooves as the door opens
>The conductor pony blinks a few times, then clears her throat. "Crystal Empire, arriving.... am I interrupting any-"
"No! Thankyou!"
>You shoo her away, trying to contain the awkward
>It's failing
>She closes the door with a sigh, and you turn back to Anon
>"Well. Hopefully this time, things will be a little more normal. Do we have living arrangements, or am I going to find myself in another cell?"
>Eeeeesh bitter?
>Well. Can't blame him, really. I mean, he's had more dneeds* to have a properly fitted formal attire if the Dragon ambassador were to show up unannounced
>OF COURSE HE WOULD
>It would be fine if they would've let you see him change
>But nooooooo
>That would be 2lewd4them
>So you and all the other mares had to sit in the waiting area
>hearing "oh, not like that " and "harder" and "just a little lower - there!"
>Bucking....shopping trips
>You sigh, sprawling out on one of the benches
 
>Pinkie pipes up. "Hey girls, cheer up. It's got to end sometime, right? I mean, we can't be stuck here forever - right!? Right?!"
>She starts to giggle
>uncontrollably
>We lost one, cap'n
>Anon FINALLY leaves another shop
>You all raise your heads, looking at the opening door
>Fuck it looked like a tea shop, yet his bag is stuffed with scarves
>How?
>Buckingcoltshowdotheywork
>Shining's talking animatedly with Anon, who's responding, hand gestures included
>Well at least they're hitting it off - that's good
>"-and then I said, "that's not a lawyer, THAT'S MY DOG!"
>They laugh heartily
>Oooh, it's like... the sound of baratone bells
>Mmm I'd like to...his...bells...
>Fuck you're tired.
"Anon..."
>You yawn largely, blinking back the sleep
"Are we... ready to go?"
>"Oh, yeah. Actually, what are we doing for sleep n' room n' stuff?"
>Shining chuckles. "Well, I got the letter from Celestia - and I'm proud of my sister getting such a family together!"
>Anon - HE IS
>HE'S BLUSHING
>Yeeessss that's so adorable it almost makes this all worth it!
>"So, of course, you're all rooming together. Canterlot King sized bed, of course!"
>Oh
>o-oh my... that would mean
>lewd things
>Suddenly everyone's not so tired anymore
>"Well... we could do that, but... I was wondering if we could just make a night of it!"
>What
>"What?" Shining asks
>"You know... a sleepover!"
>Shining gasps, dancing in place. "OH. MY. LUNA. I haven't ha - YES! yes yes yes!"
>You glance at Twilight, who's blushing hard
>So that...runs in the family
>Huh
>"Yes! We could do each other's hoov-eer, hands? And work on that hair-"
>"What's wrong with my ha-"
>"Ooh! And of course, Gossip~!!"
>Your herd shudders in unison
>So he's not going to be in your bed tonight... and could be telling secrets to your future in-laws...
>Fuck
>He looks at you and flashes that same damn grin
>"Of course."
>tartarushathnofurylikeacoltscorned.warning
 
>You'd like to say that the walk back to the castle was a quiet one, admiring the stars
>"Y-yanno, Anon, ya'll don't NEED to have a sleepov-"
>"Oh, Applejack, it's quite alright-"
>"A-and you must be so very tired-"
>"We have coffee, Flutters, I'll be fine-"
>"B-but what about your sleep schedule! You need your beauty rest!"
>"Rarity, are you saying I'm ugly?"
>"Tch"
>You would think he's pissed if it wasn't for that same predatory grin
>FFFFF
>He's milking this for all it's worth
>And you know it
>AND HE KNOWS YOU KNOW
>As you climb up the steps to the grand entrance a surprisingly pink unicorn flies down from the ba-
>NO DARING THAT'S A PRINCESS
>Oh hey brain you're right th-
>BOW YOU PLEB
>You drop to one knee
"Your Majesty, it's a pl-"
>All the bags you were carrying shift due to your position, spilling out their contents
>. . .
>9/10 intro good job
>Brain imma kill you with alcohol, k?
>Everypony else chuckles, and a pink glow grabs your - well, Anon's - things
>"Oh, hey! No, no need for family to bow Miss..."
>"C-Cadence!" Shining gasps, stomping his hoof. "You know darn well who this is! We got the letter from Celestia earlier this evening at tea!"
>"O-oh, right, how could I forget..."
>She rolls her hoof, giving off the best grin she possibly can
>To your herds credit, they don't help her
>She looks at Shining pleadingly
>Nope
>Back at you
>Nope
>. . . .
>"*cough*daring*cough*"
>"R-Right! Daring Douc-Do. I-I'm sorry, it's..."
>She sighs
>"It's been a long time since I've had to entertain guests, and running a kingdom that's a thousand years behind the times...-"
>In the distance you hear a muffled "Get thee back to the kitchen, colt!"
>[shiningscrunchintensifies]
>"...gonna host SO MANY harassment workshops you don't even KNOW..." Shining mumbles, before cooing as he gets his head scratched by Anon
>Hey, you deserve headscratches too!
>Oh hey royalty talking
>"-so we should get settled in. Have you eaten?"
>Everypony shakes their heads
 
>Cadence shoots Shining a grin of her own. "What was that about being a good host, love?"
>He physically cringes
>"Th-there was an emergency!"
>He looks around at his guard, who are now all suddenly stoic and at perfect parade rest
>Shining scrunches again. "Some friends you are!"
>One of them cracks a grin
>Clever colt
>"W-well, what about his gift! You left in a big huff and I don't even see-"
>"Now love. There's no need to change the subject and throw a fit because you dragged our tired family across the markets without letting them rest~"
>This mare either had ovaries of granite or was completely insane
>Shining's about to say something but she continues
>"~because I've already had the chefs prepare some food for us all. Including your favorite."
>Shining closes his mouth, but you can see
>he mad
>Or at least conflicted
"O-out of curiosity, what are we having?"
>"Oh. Breakfast."
>Uh?
>Shining blushes as everyone turns to him
>"I-it's the most important meal of the day..."
>He looks up and at you, as if trying to convince
>"So on important days you can have it twice!"
>Silence settles on you all for a few moments as you take in his wise words(?)
>Anon laughs
>"Hell, that works for me. Just no hay in mine an-"
>"Oh, well, I assumed you had some special dietary needs, so...uh, we prepared a bit of everything, including meat. I hope tha-"
>"What kind."
>Anon suddenly seriousfaced
>"W-well, we had a pig-"
>Anon bends down and grabs Shining by the waist, holding him close
>Almost looks like he's mounting hi-
>BRAIN THAT'S 2LEWD4HERE
>He picks up his new friend and starts walking in, not even caring about the bags we spent HOURS holding for him
>You sigh, partly in exasperation, partly cause you like to see him walk infront of you
>That'll never get old
>Once inside, bags are handed to servants, small talk is made, and Cadence seems to enjoy your presence
>Yanno. After she remembered who you were
 
>Shining seems to enjoy his new perch, though
>He's animatedly pointing where to go, what that armor is, that tapestry, blah blah blah
>Anon's listening with a smile on his face
>Well. That's the biggest hurdle jumped right there - usually colts were at each other's throats, especially if one was being brought "into the family"
>Glad to see things were going well
>One down... 6 to go
>Ugh
>You just made yourself more exhausted
>Eventually you're all ushered into a small (for castles) dining room
>Only a mild echo
>Yanno. For intimate settings
>and infront of you is a veritable buffet of foodstuffs!
>It must have a little bit of everything from the entire continent!
>You could say it's a [spoiler]multicultural[/spoiler] buffet!
>That's so totally going to catch on
>"S-so, I'm sorry about this, but our wait staff doesn't really... work these hours. So It's going to be informal. Also, please release my husband."
>Everypony nods or shrugs, and Anon lets Shining down with mild protest
>"Just dig in - plates are over there, and... yeah!"
>She grins again, but this time it feels a little more genuine
>"Shit, I'm in love with you already - you actually have salted ham here?! And is that Bacon?"
>Cadences eyes light up, and she smiles. "Yes! We have Gryphons come in - being near their mountains, of course - so our chefs know how to..."
>Cadence and Anon begin talking, and everyone loads up their plates
>As you sit down and tuck in, you realize that this is...
>actually pretty nice
>now you jinxed it
>FUCK YOU BRAIN HAVE SOME CARBS STOP BEIN SO CRANKY
>A silence descends on the table
>not out of awkwardness - just the silence of a bunch of hungry mares finally getting some food
>Round two of plates begin, and it looks like Anon loaded up on the meat
>You watch with..fascination
>"Incisors cut cleanly, then he moves it to his cheek..."
>You look over to the side, and realize Twilight's narrating some notes
>Silently you put a hoof on her notebook and push it down
 
>Shining nudges his side and apparently whispers something to him
>Anon blinks and looks around, swallowing hard
>"Uh... sorry?"
"N-no, it's fine. I just... don't think I've ever seen you eat naked meat before."
>"Naked?"
>"I think she means out in the open - like. I give you fish, but you mix that in with a salad or soup..."
>"Oh."
>Fluttershy continues, her pitch softening to a barely-audible whisper
>"...and I've never seen you eat red meat..."
>"I uh. Hmm."
>He looks at the pile of ham infront of him
>"Well...it doesn't look like I'll be getting any other moist meat to eat tonight, so I hope you don't mind if I dig in."
>He smiles sweetly and impales a chunk on his fork, slowly bringing it to his lips
>As he slowly eats it he moans
>Shining is nudging him so hard in the side he's starting to sway
>He swallows with a grin, and everypony else either looks away or goes back to eating
>Somewhat angrily
>Damn you hash browns this is YOUR FAULT
>Cadence laughs, giving your side of the table a wink. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure we'll have food tomorrow! And everything's going to be fine-"
>This mare, laughing at your pain. She knows, she has to kn-
>"-I'll make sure to have our servants take Anon and Shining to the Amethyst Spring Day spa for a full day's treatme-"
>"OH CADENCE YOU WONDERFUL MARE~"
>Shining nuzzles Cadence
>Even YOU'VE heard of the Amethyst Spring Spa
>Since the Crystal Empire came back into the Celestial Imperium, that place was booked weeks - sometimes even MONTHS in advance
>That was some last-minute string pulling right there
>She winks at you again as her husband nuzzles her neck, her eyes sparkling with mirth? love?
>Dis mare. Dis mare right here
>You lift your mug of coffee in a silent salute
>Elysium couldn't provide a better wingmare than the princess of love
>You start doing a happy dance in your mind
>Errybody gonna get laid tonight! Well. Tomorrow!
>... sometime during this stay! Wooo!
 
>Errybody have fun tonight!
>Errybody wang chung tonight!
>....where did you even learn this song?
>Doesn't matter.
>Dinner-breakfast goes by in a blur, and the mood has lightened up considerably
>Maybe that has to do with the constant stream of PDA coming from the captain of the guard and his princess bride
>Shining murmurs something into Cadence's ear
>Her wings start to go up. "As you wish-"
"So, uh... not to interrupt you two, but..."
>You trail off, tilting your head over to Anon
>"Oh, right! Sorry, let me set you up in the castle tonight. I've already had your room prepared-"
>Anon interrupts, "Actually, Shiny and I were going to do some uh, bonding an-"
>Cadence quirks her eyebrow, and raises a hoof to silence your beau
>Huh. Rude, but I guess a royal can get away with it...
>"I know, I know. Shining told me earlier; I've set you up. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."
>Anon shrugs
>Well if he won't make a big deal out of it, I won't
>You can tell it didn't go over too well with some of your mares, but it's late, everyone's tired...and bluebeaned, it's fine
>In short order, you're walking down to your rooms....and you notice something interesting
>Cadence put you girls up right across from her room
>So maybe you can do some late-night sneaking into the colt slumberparty?
>Steal some silk saddles?
>Interrupt a sexy pillow-fight??
>summercampneverends.song
>Cadence hums softly, looking up as Shining talks to Anon about their big plans tonight
>Is that...
>Open bucking windows?!
>thismarerighthere.heroine
>"Oh, before you two... begin, can I borrow Anon? I'd like to get to know the stallion that's got my Twilight to get out of her shell~"
>"C-cadence! Come on, that was years ago!"
>"Mmmm, not that long ago. From being afraid to talk to colts-"
>"Noooo~" Twilight pouts, and you chuckle
>"-to a herd! I want to know more..."
>"Oh, uh - sure. Shining, you're gonna be ok to-"
 
>Shining laughs and waves Anon off. "Of course! I need to get some of my coltfriends up in here anyway - and we do want to make you feel welcomed, so I need to get some hoofpolish and wax and... oh dear, I'm not even ready~!"
>He chuckles, trotting into his - well, their room - apparently 'surveying the damage' and preparing for a night of being catty bitches and...gossip
>dangit
>Well, hopefully Anon doesn't have TOO much dirt on you
>"Well, before I get going..."
>Anon kneels down and opens his arms
>Awww, yis
>The 7 of you dash forward, smothering him in hugs and a few sneaky kisses
>Laughing, his hands roam, petting and hugging you each in turn
>"Oh, come on girls. I'm only going to be across the hallway...in my own bed. All alone, save for the company of a few adventurous colts..."
>He tries to look sad, but his grin gives him away
>You bastard we know already
>You hop up and give him a quick peck on the cheek, and he ruffles your mane. "Aight. See you little pones tomorrow."
"Goodnight!"
>"Night nonny!"
>"See ya, Sugarcube~"
>"Sleep well, dearest"
>"A-are you going to have a pillow fight~?"
>Anon laughs as Fluttershy suddenly turns crimson
>"All the pillow fights, Flutters. All of them."
>With that he waves goodnight, disappearing with Cadence down the hall
>Shining looks at your herd through the doorway
>No, he's staring at Twilight
>Hard
>"...."
>"O-ok! I'm not gonna do anything, Shining! I promise!"
>"Mmmm."
>"....Really!"
>He looks at you all over, a bit nonplussed.
"What?"
>He grins. "You should ask her why I started learning shield spells..."
>"S-SHINING! IT WAS ONE TIME!"
>Oooooo gossip time has begun~!
>You all give a little bow, walking into your room to let Shining get ready
>Want to give him the confidence that you're all on the up-and-up
>[plotting intensifies]
>You take a look at these sweet digs
>A large room with a roaring fireplace, some snacks on a small dining tableset...
>You sigh.
 
>This was a romantic colt's wet dream
>Pinkie's already hopped to the center of the bed - it seems to be... 4, no, 5 pony lengths long at least
>Canterlot King-sized indeed.
>Just no king to share it with
>You sigh again
>"Daring, you alright? You're sighing more than Rarity when she reads those paperback books of hers-"
>"Rainbow Dash, I'll have you know that some of the best love stories of our time are contained in those bo-"
>"Booooring. What's wrong?"
"Ugh. Just that, yanno. He's not here, on the bed, oiled up."
>RD laughs
>"Yeah, that does suck, but... from the sound of it, Cadence is hooking us up."
"Yeah, I guess so. I just need to stop being so flank-flustered over it."
>RD punches your shoulder gently. "That's the spirit! So, how about we all grab a drink, settle in, and ask Twilight why her brother started learning shield spells."
>You hear a "No!" shouted from the bathroom, but pay it no mind
"Oooh, that's a great idea~"
>Your laugh is interrupted by a sharp knock at the door
>Turning, you're surprised to see Cadence, again
>She looks a bit sheepish
>"H-hey! Sorry, am I interrupting anything?"
"Uh... no? What's up?"
>"Oh, well. I figured I'd stop by and say hello! I also brought a gift or two for Anon - read your letters, Twi, they're very descriptive - and uh..."
>Twilight walks out of the bathroom, towel drying her mane
>"Cadence, what are you talking about?"
>"Your letters. And hello to you too! I know it's late, but I was hoping for more excitement than this!"
>Cadence laughs, magicing in a couple wrapped gift boxes
>"But whatever. I know you've had a hard day..."
>She trails off as a group of hoofsteps come down the hallway, the excited murmuring of colt voices echoing off the walls
>"....ok, so... what?"
>Cadence turns around, watching with some interest as a group of colts steps into her bedroom
>her wings raise slightly
>"...did... Did I miss something?"
>You laugh
"What do you mean? Tartarus, you set this all up! And let me say-"
 
>"What are you talking about? I've been shopping all evening - apparently someponies hit up the market hard, and I was having a discord of a time finding anything to-"
>"Wait wait wait. You've been here all night! We ate dinner with you!" RD objects
>Silence settles on the group, and a look passes between everypony
>You don't like that look
* * *
>BE ANON
>The most handsome man on the planet
>That's not exaggeration - that's just truth
>HA HA HA only one of your kind
>Aww, now you had a sad
>But you're walking with a sherbert-colored mare, so whatevs
>At this point nothing really phases you
>"So... I uh, hope you don't mind, but I'd love to show you my kingdom - can we take a chariot?"
"Flying or ground?"
>"Flying. I can show you the city at night!"
"This isn't some attempt to, yanno-"
>Cadence pales. "Good heavens, no! Not this, no."
>Hmm. Seems legit
>You follow her out to a wide open pavilion, a lone chariot already hitched up
>Those mare guards do not look happy to be here
>Sucks to be them
"So, uh... I'm new to the whole herding thing, is this the equivalent of daddy shining his shotgun in the livingroom?"
>"I uh... what? That sounds a bit lewd."
"Only if he uses tongue."
>She stares at you, blinking hard
>Laughing, you step into the chariot, gripping the rail for dear life
>Yeah, there's some weird... enchantment thing that makes it fly smooth
>But still. Tiny horses ten thousand feet up.
>The cart lurches forward, and you start gaining altitude
"So, uh... I guess tell me about yourself?"
>Cadence smiles, her eyes flashing bright in the dark night
>Hmm
>"Well. I love love, it's delicious. I also enjoy crushing my enemies, confounding simpletons and leading naive little boys to my lair~"
>HMMMM
". . . I'm being kidnapped, aren't I?"
>"Well. Quick study." Cadence laughs, and in a gout of green flame turns really tall and really dark
>"My name's Queen Chrysalis, and if you do everything I say, I might let you live."