>The outlines of everything you could see were beginning to become a bit... curvy.
>Must have been some solid shrooms.
>You spawned a cigarette and lit it to keep yourself calm.
>Ten seconds later, you heard Pinkie Pie cheerfully humming to herself as she emerged from out side.
>"Okay, load em' up."
>You grabbed Twilight and Fluttershy, and did your best to heft them through the door.
>To your astonishment there was an actual train outside with two carts attached.
>You gently put the two ponies into the front cart.
>Pinkie walked back outside with Rainbow Dash and Applejack slung over her back.
>She was clearly stronger than she looked.
>As she loaded them in, you noticed that there was smoke coming from the smokestack.
>How in the hell?
>You then realized it was from the cigarette still burning in your hand.
>You shook your head to hopefully clear it.
>"All aboard!"
>Pinkie was now in the conductor's seat.
>You climbed in the rear cart with Applejack's unconscious body.
"Uh Pinkie, how are we going to move anyways? What the fuck drives this thi..."
 
>Before you could finish, the train shot forward, gathering speed as it moved.
"Okay, that explains nothing. Where are we going then?"
>From the front of the train you heard you answer.
>"I"m going to drop you off near Applejack's farm."
>Her voice was almost inaudible over the screaming wind.
>You had no idea how you were moving so fast. Everything around you was a blur of dark colors.
"Okay then. Let me know when we're stopping."
>"Stopping?" You heard her giggle. "There are no brakes on this train! I'll be dropping you off right... now!"
>The cart you and Applejack had occupied suddenly detached from the rest of the train, and before it could stop it must have hit a rock or something.
>The cart flipped over and you sailed through the air.
>You landed hard against a tree. Something immediately fell on your head.
>An apple.
>Dazed, you stood up and looked for Applejack.
>Amazingly she was still passed out.
>You picked her up, heaved her onto your shoulder, and headed in what you hoped was the right direction.
>You looked around as you walked.
>There were apple trees lining both sides of the path. You were definitely around her farm.
>The trees seemed to be leaning inwards, towards you.
>As you moved to the center of the path just to be safe, you heard a thump behind you.
>Nope.
 
>You fucking took off as fast as you could run, carrying Applejack.
>Within a couple of minutes you saw the barn and breathed a sigh of relief.
>With your free hand you lit another cigarette.
>It had probably just been your imagination.
>Before you could set Applejack down on her front porch, you heard more movement behind you.
>You turned.
>Holy shit.
>A massive, red demon p0ny was blocking your path away from the farm
>It said nothing.
>You dropped Applejack and wordlessly skirted around its side, watching it and it watching you.
>As soon as you moved past its flank, it took a step towards you.
>Fuck that.
>You threw up your arms, the cigarette flying out of your hands, and ran past it screaming the most feminine, high-pitched you scream you had ever screamed.
>When you reached the treeline, you turned back to look.
>Maybe it was just a hallucination...
>The demon was closer now, roaring, with a wall of flames to its back.
>This was no demon p0ny.
>It was one of the four horses of the fucking apocalypse.
>War probably?
>Didn't matter.
>You turned and ran screaming back into the trees.
 
>You ran and screamed until your lungs and throat burned.
>Stopping to take a breath, you realized that you were no longer on any path.
>You were boxed in on all sides by trees.
>It seemed that they now had faces, and their branches resembled long, grasping fingers.
>Why the fuck would you volunteer to trip in such an already fucked up place.
>So fucking stupid.
>You picked a direction, renewed you screaming, and ran like hell.
>You ran until the trees no longer surrounded you, straight into town.
>Slowing to a walk, you wondered where Pinkie was.
>She didn't exactly tell you where to meet her. Where were you supposed to go now?
>You turned to look into a nearby window, some movement drawing your eyes to it.
>A white can stared back at you.
>It started to grin.
>What the fuck?
>The grin grew wider, now distorting itself into a disturbing grimace.
>You ran again, this time out of town on the opposite side that you had come in, away from that hellish farm.
>You had gone past the library, so it was too late to take shelter there.
>Your thoughts raced faster than you could run.
>By this point you were to exhausted to move anymore.
>You collapsed into the grass on the side of the path, the world swirling around you.
>Even the fucking stars wouldn't stay still.
>You shut your eyes and waited for everything to go back to normal.
 
>"Choo-choo! All aboard the Pinkie Pie Express!"
>You opened you eyes and inclined you head forward.
>"There you are, silly. What took you so long. I took care of two p0nies in the time it took you to bring Applejack home. We just need to return Fluttershy, then we can continue our party."
>You shook your head vigorously, but ended up getting on the remaining cart anyway.
>If this was partying hard was, you would not be interested in ever doing it again.
>You closed your eyes, and felt the cart shoot forward once more.
>"Last stop, Fluttershy's house!"
>You didn't even bother to open your eyes.
>Within seconds the train picked up pace again.
>"C'mon Anon, wake up! Now we can just joyride. You can even drive!"
>You shook your head no.
>"Suit yourself, but you have to at least sit up."
>You sat up but did not open your eyes.
"Please Pinkie, where the fuck are we going now?"
>She giggled, then spoke seriously, her voice grave over the sound of the wind and the creaky cart.
>"There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going! Bah! Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing, are the fires of hell a-blowing? Is the grizzly reaper mowing? Yes! The danger must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing, and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing..."
 
>You were about to remind her that you were not on a boat, but then you thought about what she had said.
>What the fuck?
>You didn't know what disturbed you more, the words themselves or the fact that you recognized them.
>"Why where do you want to go Anon?"
"Home, fucking home!"
>"And where is that? Be specific."
"I don't know!"
>"Down below, here we go!" She screamed gleefully.
>Suddenly, you were going down an incline, picking up even more speed.
>Within seconds, you were poked in the ribs.
From your side you heard Pinkie say:
>"By the way Anon, did you say 'down below' or 'I don't know,' 'cause I couldn't tell."
>You finally opened your eyes.
>She was staring at you calmly.
"Who the fuck is steering?"
>She looked at you like you were the crazy one.
>"Well duh! Nop0ny. I'm back here with you."
"Shi-"
>Suddenly you were flipping through the air, blurs and wind rushing past your face, gravity all nonsense now.
>You heard a gleeful giggling from every direction at once.
 
>You hit the ground rolling, and slid for a great distance before you came to a rest.
>After a couple of seconds of shock you sat up.
>Pinkie Pie was sitting across from you with an expectant look on her face.
>"Soooooo... How's your first Pinkie Pie Provided Party going Anon?"
>There was nothing to say, so you burst out laughing.
>You couldn't stop.
>Pinkie joined you in her high pitched giggle as soon as you started.
>When you could no longer breathe, you turned to your side, puked out everything you had eaten that night, and passed right the fuck out.
__________________________________________________
>You opened your eyes as the top of the sun peeked above the surrounding hills.
>Vague images of the prior night swirled around your mind.
>How much of that had actually happened?
>You thought about how it had ended.
>When you tried to stand up, you found you legs to be unresponsive.
"Shit! That fucking mare crippled me."
 
>"What mare crippled you, Anon." Pinkie said sleepily from your feet.
>You sat up.
>Pinkie was curled up lying on your legs, looking up at you.
"Never mind."
>You noticed that you were wearing overalls, though they were now dirty and torn.
>So that was real.
>You looked to your left.
>There lay the wreckage of what had been the Pinkie Pie Express.
>Your head was killing you.
>You assumed that it was not from the alcohol, given that it was part of the colorful pile next to you.
>Probably from being tossed about.
Pinkie interrupted your thoughts.
>"So how was the party? You didn't answer last night, just laughed and passed out."
You thought for a moment.
"Terrifying, confusing, outright insane..."
>"Sooo?"
"...and hilarious in hindsight. That was by far the craziest trip I've ever had. Good show, my fine mare."
>She beamed.
>"Nop0ny alive doesn't at least find a Patented Pinkie Pie Party entertaining. I aim to please."
 
>You collected your thoughts and moved to your next priority.
"Did Twilight make it home unharmed?"
>"Of course. I presented her to a disappointed Spike myself."
"Good. I uh... I'm pretty sure I saw one of the horse of the apocalypse last night at Applejack's farm. Do you suppose that was real?"
>"Ooh, which one?"
"I guessed war, but it was really scary nonetheless."
>"That's the scariest one. It was most likely her older brother, Big Macintosh."
>You spawned a cigarette and lit it.
>"what's that?"
"Tobacco. You smoke it. Want one?"
She grinned at you.
>"Well duh. I love things I've never tried before."
>You pulled another one out of the air, lit it, and handed it to her.
>The two of you sat there, side by side, smoking silently, watching the sun rise.
>You looked down at your cig.
"I'm pretty sure I burned the Apples' barn to the ground."
Pinkie laughed, surprising you.
>"She's gonna be looking for you today then."
>Fuck. There went your place to sleep.
 
"Oh Pinkie, I have been meaning to ask you. Do the Cakes have any work available?"
>"Nope. I've got that bakery completely under control. Why?" She said cheerily.
"I need money, now more than ever. I'd rather not starve to death."
She laughed again.
>"Why didn't you say so in the first place? I won't let you starve silly. Come to the bakery near closing. There's always a ton of food we throw out every night, and I can't eat it all myself."
>She looked at you seriously.
>"And I've tried."
"Pinkie, you're a bit of a bipolar lunatic, but I think you just may be best p0ny."
>She blew a cloud of smoke in your face.
>"And you're a devious, apathetic fool with a cruel streak. Anon, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
>Where the hell did she get that? She even got the Bogart impression dead-on. Just like last night on the train...
>You looked at her seriously.
"Where did you hear that from?"
>She looked at you innocently.
>"I have my ways. Trust me Anon."
"I've been told that too much lately. Seems 'trust' is a cheap commodity here. Will you tell me at some point? I hate mysteries, especially ones that involve me."
>She spoke seriously.
>"If I told you now, it would ruin the fun. All will be revealed."
 
>You sighed.
"Fine, but I deserve at least to know how you know about me. Your assessment was too close to be coincidence."
>She giggled.
>"Oh, I've been following you since after my birthday party. Do you remember that day?"
>What?
"First of all, yes I remember that day. I had thought this land all sunshine and fun until you scared the piss out of me. Secondly, following me? How long? Why? What have you seen?"
>"Since after my birthday, I was watching your back, and I haven't seen much until pretty recently."
>She gave you a forced stern look. It didn't suit her.
>"I know Rarity's not the easiest p0ny to get along with, but you really hurt her pride Anon, especially after the bad night she had before. Shame on you. And I saw the tongue-lashing you gave Dash. Unnecessary. Did you really have to mock Applejack when she was trying to help you? Not at all."
>It felt odd to be reprimanded by Pinkie, but you kept your mouth shut.
>One, it was all true, and two, you hoped that she would give you an explanation of why she was following you in the first place.
>"That's why your party went the way it did. Just a little punishment."
"There's no way that you planned all that crazy shit!"
>She laughed again.
>Don't be silly Anon. P0nies like you find ways to punish themselves. All I had to do was set you in the right direction. Besides, Applejack's going to find you at some point. But don't be too angry with me, Anon. I still like you, and I know Twilight does too."
 
"Are you going to tell me anything else? I find it hard to trust anyone who withholds things from me. Please?"
>She gave you an exasperated sigh.
>"All I can say is, please just have some faith that somep0ny is looking out for your best interests. I need to get to the bakery now. Don't tell anyone about what I've told you. Not even Twilight. Bye Anon, and stop by tonight for some food. We can talk more then."
>She then trotted off, but before she got very far, she turned around.
>"And remember this Anon, if anything. The light from burning bridges is only temporary. Quickly enough, you'll find yourself back in darkness."
>With that, she cheerily continued on her way.
>Damn. Just as fucking cryptic as Luna.
>Well she did say she would feed you for free, and she was "watching your back," for whatever danger was coming to you.
>You were hungry now though. The food you had eaten was lying in a pile beside you.
>Your best bet would be Fluttershy, and perhaps she would guard you from Applejack's wrath.
>With your new plan, you headed out towards the Everfree Forest.